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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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MadScientist said:
Practicing KI with Kei: Project outwards Hazou's own soul. Not a will to destroy, but to protect. Even under the terrifying pressure of Kei's KI, Hazou projects a warmth of (sibling!) love that will melt the ice and deliver her the spiritual and absolutely-not-physical hug she so clearly needs. If he's mentally sundered by the ice mirrors so be it, Kei's KI will not push away his support.
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Now I'm going to a stick in the mud and try to point holes at this wording.

What do any of you would think when someone came, someone you trust came and tried to impose into you their souls, especially the feelings they will protect you? Now bear with me, we have Keiko who is a insecure person who isn't sure about her general, being bombarded by the member of her family who is know by his grand-standing and sometimes feels demagogic with his ideas, try to impose a feeling of warmth, trying to push the need of comfort into her?
 
@MadScientist

Proposed suggestions to make it clear to Kei that she might not like this.

(And be a little less hostile and/or sickening with our POWER OF LOVE AND SUPPORT!)

MadScientist said:
Alright.

Wordcount: 288

[x] Action Plan: The Power of Love to Go Even Further Beyond
  • Grab an hour-ish of Jiraiya's time, alone, if possible.
    • Mindset: Mentally prepare for the most brutal thing you have ever experienced.
    • Ask him about Killing Intent.
      • What's the deal there?
    • Help us practice resisting it, please?
      • It's a critical vulnerability if some Jonin can incapacitate and kill us.
    • Ask Jiraiya to floor you with a bit of his KI as he is the scariest/strongest around.
      • Please don't accidentally kill us or break our minds though.
    • Now. Get. Up.
      • Mood: You Say Run.
      • You are Hazou Gouketsu, son of Hana and Shinji.
      • Just one man.
      • Jiraiya is also just one man.
      • If you can't stand against Jiraiya's will, how will you stand against the world itself?
      • Motivation: the countless thousands of innocent people barely surviving in this hellhole, their lives depend on it - on you.
      • Giving up isn't an option, never will be, as long as they're on the line.
      • By all the kami in heaven, you will Uplift this world.
      • Embrace the fiery passion of your ideals, forge your iron nerves to steel, and cast your defiance into the teeth of gods and men alike!
      • Stand. Raise your head high and look Jiraiya in the eye.
    • Repeat a few times.
      • Try to at least raise your head and look Jiraiya in the eye without hurting yourself.
    • Ask Jiraiya for intel on our competitors.
  • Practicing KI with Kei:
    • Warn Kei: You might not like this.
    • Project outwards Hazou's own soul. Not a will to destroy, but to protect. Even under the pressure of her KI, Hazou pushes it back with all the love he's got! If he's mentally sundered by the ice mirrors so be it, Kei's KI will not push away him away!
  • Proceed to Mist.
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MadScientist said:
I prefer the original wording. I think the more we dilute the emotive language the less effective Hazou will be. But I'll add the warning.
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You might have to take a few words here and there out to remain wordcount positive.

I think "Proceed to the Tournament" is a bit of an oxymoron, but that might just be my take.
 
Update:

MadScientist said:
Alright.

Wordcount: 299

[x] Action Plan: The Power of Love to Go Even Further Beyond

  • Practicing KI with Kei:
    • Warn her she may not like this.
    • Project outwards Hazou's own soul. Not a will to destroy, but to protect. Even under the terrifying pressure of Kei's KI, Hazou projects a warmth of (sibling!) love that will melt the ice and deliver her the spiritual and absolutely-not-physical hug she so clearly needs. If he's mentally sundered by the ice mirrors so be it, Kei's KI will not push away his support.
  • Grab an hour-ish of Jiraiya's time, alone, if possible.
    • Mindset: Mentally prepare for the most brutal thing you have ever experienced.
    • Ask him about Killing Intent.
      • What's the deal there?
    • Help us practice resisting it, please?
      • It's a critical vulnerability if some Jonin can incapacitate and kill us.
    • Ask Jiraiya to floor you with a bit of his KI as he is the scariest/strongest around.
      • Please don't accidentally kill us or break our minds though.
    • Now. Get. Up.
      • Mood: You Say Run.
      • You are Hazou Gouketsu, son of Hana and Shinji.
      • Just one man.
      • Jiraiya is also just one man.
      • If you can't stand against Jiraiya's will, how will you stand against the world itself?
      • Motivation: the countless thousands of innocent people barely surviving in this hellhole, their lives depend on it - on you.
      • Giving up isn't an option, never will be, as long as they're on the line.
      • By all the kami in heaven, you will Uplift this world.
      • Embrace the fiery passion of your ideals, forge your iron nerves to steel, and cast your defiance into the teeth of gods and men alike!
      • Stand. Raise your head high and look Jiraiya in the eye.
    • Repeat a few times.
      • Try to at least raise your head and look Jiraiya in the eye without hurting yourself.
    • Ask Jiraiya for intel on our competitors.
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Hmmm. Fair.

Here's my version if anyone wants.

WC: 299

[x] Action Plan: The Power of Something to Protect: Go Even Further Beyond!
  • Grab an hour-ish of Jiraiya's time, alone, if possible.
    • Mindset: Mentally prepare for the most brutal thing you have ever experienced.
    • Ask him about Killing Intent.
      • What's the deal there?
    • Help us practice resisting it, please?
      • It's a critical vulnerability if some Jonin can incapacitate and kill us.
    • Ask Jiraiya to floor you with a bit of his KI as he is the scariest/strongest around.
      • Please don't accidentally kill us or break our minds though.
    • Now. Get. Up.
      • Mood: You Say Run.
      • You are Hazou Gouketsu, son of Hana and Shinji.
      • Just one man.
      • Jiraiya is also just one man.
      • If you can't stand against Jiraiya's will, how will you stand against the world itself?
      • Motivation: the countless thousands of innocent people barely surviving in this hellhole, their lives depend on it - on you.
      • Giving up isn't an option, never will be, as long as they're on the line.
      • By all the kami in heaven, you will Uplift this world.
      • Embrace the fiery passion of your ideals, forge your iron nerves to steel, and cast your defiance into the teeth of gods and men alike!
      • Stand. Raise your head high and look Jiraiya in the eye.
    • Repeat a few times.
      • Try to at least raise your head and look Jiraiya in the eye without hurting yourself.
    • Ask Jiraiya for:
      • Intel on our competitors.
      • Dating advice!
        • What better way to practice than with international ninja you might never see again?
        • Also if it goes well, could be good for relations.
  • Bond with Keiko and Noburi:
    • It is readily apparent that Hazou has less skill with relationships than a fish.
    • To rectify this, we would like to create a post-interaction survey to have individuals fill out, to get feedback on the quality of social interaction.
    • No, seriously. Hey! Stop laughing!
 
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[x] Action Plan: The Power of Love to Go Even Further Beyond

I'm not sure if warning Keiko that she may not like Hazou's experiment in projecting other emotions is the best possible approach. What if we ask permission to experimentally attempt to project an alternative emotion? I like that framing better. 'Let's do science together' rather than 'You may not like this but I want to do it anyway' which isn't...super respectful.
Adhoc vote count started by TaliesinSkye on Nov 19, 2018 at 11:14 AM, finished with 264 posts and 13 votes.
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Sorry, I've got to ask: Why are we predicting that Kei will react badly to a psychic conviction of love and support? My own model of Kei isn't so maladjusted that she reacts to love with instinctive terror.
 
MadScientist said:
Sorry, I've got to ask: Why are we predicting that Kei will react badly to a psychic conviction of love and support? My own model of Kei isn't so maladjusted that she reacts to love with instinctive terror.
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Keiko has an extremely pessimistic worldview and views optimism and positive feelings(as we feel them) with a decent amount of disdain.

I think worry is that Hazou will just mentally dominate the shit out of her with YOUTH and LOVE and KINDNESS and DETERMINATION and that this will freak her the fuck out or mentally scar her or something.
 
MMKII said:
Keiko has an extremely pessimistic worldview and views optimism and positive feelings(as we feel them) with a decent amount of disdain.

I think worry is that Hazou will just mentally dominate the shit out of her with LOVE and KINDNESS and DETERMINATION and that this will freak her the fuck out or mentally scar her or something.
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It seems unlikely he'll be all that successful. We don't even know yet if a person even can project anything other than killing intent in MfD. In the event that it is wildly successful, I trust Hazou to stop the instant he senses something wrong.
 
MMKII said:
Keiko has an extremely pessimistic worldview and views optimism and positive feelings(as we feel them) with a decent amount of disdain.

I think worry is that Hazou will just mentally dominate the shit out of her with YOUTH and LOVE and KINDNESS and DETERMINATION and that this will freak her the fuck out or mentally scar her or something.
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The plan doesn't bring up YOUTH, and I don't particularly think Hazou will on his own. LOVE, KINDNESS, and DETERMINATION, however, yes.

The plan doesn't read to me as trying to "dominate the shit" out of Kei, it's more of a reframing of the psychic battle from "You don't scare me!" to "I'll love and support you no matter how terrifying you're being." And like I said, my model of Kei doesn't react badly to being loved.
 
TaliesinSkye said:
It seems unlikely he'll be all that successful. We don't even know yet if a person even can project anything other than killing intent in MfD. In the event that it is wildly successful, I trust Hazou to stop the instant he senses something wrong.
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Well, sure.
MadScientist said:
The plan doesn't bring up YOUTH, and I don't particularly think Hazou will on his own. LOVE, KINDNESS, and DETERMINATION, however, yes.

The plan doesn't read to me as trying to "dominate the shit" out of Kei, it's more of a reframing of the psychic battle from "You don't scare me!" to "I'll love and support you no matter how terrifying you're being." And like I said, my model of Kei doesn't react badly to being loved.
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Fair. I'm just trying to convey that the concern, as far as I'm picking up on it, is that Kei will view this as taking a piss in her metaphorical breakfast cereal.
 
MadScientist said:
Sorry, I've got to ask: Why are we predicting that Kei will react badly to a psychic conviction of love and support? My own model of Kei isn't so maladjusted that she reacts to love with instinctive terror.
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Imagine her reaction if someone from the Goketsu Keiko Fan Club was saying this out loud, while directly touching her, and steadily revise downward from there.

Reminder: We're trying to do this stuff to her soul(chakra, fine). Offering hugs and then thinking "she clearly needs it"in a soul communication to someone who has adamantly at all time refused anything that has come close (heh) to closer contact is probably going to go a lot worse than simply affirming camraderie.

This is honestly my biggest disagreement with the current approach: I don't want to project an image of "I will protect you"; it's almost too infantilizing to the recipients.

No.

We should copy Hiruzen, and All Might.

We should have our intent be that I AM HERE.
 
huhYeahGoodPoint said:
Imagine her reaction if someone from the Goketsu Keiko Fan Club was saying this out loud, while directly touching her, and steadily revise downward from there.

Reminder: We're trying to do this stuff to her soul(chakra, fine). Offering hugs and then thinking "she clearly needs it"in a soul communication to someone who has adamantly at all time refused anything that has come close (heh) to closer contact is probably going to go a lot worse than simply affirming camraderie.
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She's haptophobic, not affection-phobic. The plan says to give her a "spiritual and absolutely-not-physical" hug.
 
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