- Location
- UK
Would you rather have ten ninja with two Byakugan, and ten with two normal eyes, or twenty ninja with one Byakugan and one normal eye each?
Checkmate, eyetheists.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Checkmate, eyetheists.
- Location
- Yes.
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- He/Him
Is there any instance of an eye being transplanted in MfD outside of Kakashi? Otherwise I'd expect ninja to take civilian eyes and give them to people like Atomu
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- Yes.
There have probably been hundreds of such cases.
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- He/Him
is this a danzo joke i cant tell
- Location
- United States
*gasp* I'm pretty sure the QMs have said that Kakashi is the only known successful one.
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- Book Fort
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- They/Them
All the world is a stage, upon which @faflec screams.
I'd say it's one of those things that is technically possible, but would require a stupidly skilled medic to do. And Leaf's stupidly skilled Medics have better things to do than to fix the eye of a random chunin who can't cast jutsu.
...nevermind, then. Perhaps not?
- Location
- Europe
Do you mean the eybeball guys? Because they got eaten.
But, I guess that counts as "transplanted".
(AU?) Interlude: Horseshoe Nails, Part 1
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
(AU?) Interlude: Horseshoe Nails, Part 1
The tall charcoal-haired man unbuckled his harness and tossed it vaguely towards the equipment rack as he flopped down on his cot, one arm over his eyes to block out the last traces of sunset that leaked through the command tent's open rear entrance. The harness clattered to the floor and his valet frowned as he picked it up.
"A difficult day, sir?" he asked, shaking the harness lightly to get it untangled.
"Ugh. Cut me some slack, Mikito."
"I wasn't aware I had said anything challenging, sir." He draped the leather harness over its purpose-made rack and twitched the straps into proper position so they wouldn't kink up as the sweat dried. Hm. There was blood on the left hip sheath and the strap around it. Apparently Sir had been putting his weapons away without bothering to wipe them off again. A vile habit.
Hashirama uncovered his eyes long enough to glare at his long-time valet. "I can hear the disapproval, Mikito. Oozing from every word. Hear it."
"Hm. How inconsiderate of me. I suppose I should report myself to the Warmaster for appropriate discipline. A bit of flogging, perhaps?"
"Sage preserve me from grouchy valets," Hashirama muttered. "To answer your earlier question: Yes, it was a hard day. On the way back from the raid we got jumped by a team of Uchiha. They killed Hideyo, Goichi, and Shigemi, and they torched most of the supplies we were bringing. The clan is going to have to stay on half rations for at least tomorrow and the next day. There's a farm town to the north that we haven't tried yet. I'll lead another raiding party there tomorrow but we won't make it back for two days minimum if we're having to drag carts."
"Ah." Mikito's disapproval was gone, replaced with sadness and sympathy. "I'm sorry, sir. They were wonderful men." He left the harness and moved to pour from the teapot that sat in the coals of the hibachi. "I still have a bit of the oolong, and some chicken and rice. Get cleaned up while the tea steeps. I'll have the food ready by the time you're clean."
"Where did you get the chicken?"
"I held it aside from the stew on Sageday. I figured it would either make a good celebratory meal on your return or it would serve to restore your strength if you needed to go out again."
Hashirama started to protest but waffled. It had been a week of nothing but rice and tubers and his belly was growling at the thought of actual meat.
The weakness lasted only a moment; he sat up and shook his head. "Give it to the mothers," he said, picking up the heated wet towel that Mikito was holding out for him and starting to clean himself. "I'm not going to eat meat when they have none." A lump hidden in his hair proved to be a piece of gristle from where one of his wood clones had torn an Uchiha apart and cast the upper half over Hashirama's head.
"Damn the Uchiha," he muttered, opening the lid of the chamber pot so he could throw the gristle in. "This feud is stupid. All the effort we put into killing each other ends up destroying everything around us. The two most powerful clans in the region and we're both hungry and cold all the time because we keep destroying each other's supplies."
"Indeed," Mikito said, his voice dry as dust. "Were there only a way to get such a complicated idea as through their thick heads."
Hashirama snorted. "Be nice, Mikito. They aren't dumb, just vicious. I'm sure they could understand ideas as simple as 'not killing each other is good' if we used small enough words."
"Hm...indeed. And perhaps we could all live peacefully beside one another, in giant stone houses like the civilians have, with mutual gardens in which we grow tubers that peel themselves from sheer desire to be eaten."
Hashirama froze, head cocked in thought. "That's...actually not a bad idea, Mikito."
The valet turned to his Clan Lord and third cousin with a scorchingly raised eyebrow. "My Lord, were you perhaps struck in the head? Tubers are not going to peel themselves."
"No, no, no that. The Uchiha. The two clans living together."
Mikito's expression changed from disapproving to outright befuddlement. "Sir...the Uchiha are the enemy. They would kill us."
"Yeah, but what if they didn't?"
"They would."
Hashirama's face split in his trademark grin, white teeth flashing in the gloaming. "Yeah, but what if they didn't?"
"Sir—"
He raised a hand to cut off his valet's frustrated tirade. "No, seriously. Think for a minute. There's...what, two dozen clans running around this area? There's us, the Uchiha, and the rest are second- or third-raters. If the Uchiha and the Senju could put our differences aside, we could control the entire region. We could take over all the civilian towns and farm them the way the civilians farm their fields. Part of the reason that things are tight right now is because of when Madara ambushed Nobunao's team two years ago. Remember?"
"Of course. My uncle was one of the ones killed."
"Right, and I'm not minimizing that, but think what else it did: Yellow Oak got destroyed in the fight. The best supply source for four days travel in any direction. Their fields got torched and probably half of the people were killed. For the last two years, food's been tight for everyone because of that ambush."
"Which shows exactly why the Uchiha need to be destroyed. They are a plague upon the land, destroying everything they touch."
Hashirama's smile turned sad. "It's not just them, Mikito. Half the fire thrown in that fight was from Senju chakra. We bear our share of the blame."
"What?!" Mikito turned to face his lord and every ounce of blood had gone from his face. His fists were clenched and his voice shook with repressed anger. "Are you putting us on the same level as those, those...animals?!"
"Peace, Mikito. They ambushed us that time so the destruction is ultimately in their tents, but we've ambushed them in the past and caused destruction in the process. Regardless, what does it matter whose fault it is? The final result is that our clan's mothers are so hungry that they're having trouble producing milk to feed the babes. I'd wager the same is true of the Uchiha. After all"—the teeth flashed again, but the smile this time was grimmer—"I think everyone will agree that the Senju are the more dangerous clan."
"Then kill them, My Lord! Stop this game of ambush and retreat! Find their camp, send the warriors, and kill them! Let it be done once and never needed again!"
"Mikito...how many of our people would die in the process? The Uchiha are powerful. Not as powerful as us, but powerful. The Senju would be weakened, perhaps to the point that some of the lesser clans could team up and destroy us. A direct conflict between the clans would destroy both of us. Especially if we tried it on their prepared ground."
Mikito turned away, kneeling before the hibachi with his back so tight he trembled.
"This could work, Mikito," Hashirama said softly. "If Madara and I could reach an agreement, it could work. You know that land to the east, where the forest is richest? With the Uchiha and the Senju working together, we could claim that area. Kill all the beasts, clear the land. Bring in some civilian farmers. Give it a season, perhaps two, and there would be more food than we knew what to do with."
"And as soon as we moved on, someone else would destroy it."
"Right, but what if we didn't move on? What if we stayed? We could build walls, plant traps. With the Senju and the Uchiha together we would have enough warriors to keep up heavy patrols around the clock." He paused for a moment as numbers ticked through his head, then shook them away. "Okay, maybe not. So after we make our agreement with the Uchiha we grab a few more clans. Maybe the Nara—they're good with traps. Oh, or the Inuzuka—their nindogs have incredible senses and would make for excellent sentries. Or maybe the Maita; their plant-control abilities would synergize well with the Wood Element. Or..."
Hashirama trailed off, visions of possibility cascading through his mind.
"We're doing this," he said. "Come on." He pushed himself to his feet and tossed the now blood-soaked towel carelessly behind himself as he strode for the door. For the first time in ages he felt a new emotion: Hope.
Voting remains closed.
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- Location
- Yes.
The original question asked if any eyes had been transplanted, with no specification on whether or not the transplant was successful.
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- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I see you've been taking notes from EJ
Eisenhelm
gran dutch of douchery
- Location
- Colombia
- Location
- Yes.
The Maita Clan, one of the (former) clans of Leaf who were....less than willing to join Hashirama's Leaf in its inception. They ended up joining, but only after a brutal (if short) war that shredded their numbers, culture, and power, and ultimately relegated them to the legal status of clanless ninja.
Their remaining scion, a man named Gai, was killed, leaving no heirs behind.
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- She/Her/They/Them
Wait I thought the forest around Konoha being better than the rest was a product of the Wood Element to begin with? Or did he pick the best part of the forest, burn it down to nothing, and then grow more trees of his own around? Not that it would be all that surprising actually, when you've got power to spare you can spend it on such frivolities. (Looking at you, Kurosawa TASbots spending ridiculous chakra and costing everyone)
That said...
Understatement, or underestimating?
They probably already have a plan ready. If he'd joined with them first they could have told him where to settle or how to convince the Uchiha without causing Madara to eventually leave.
Is there anything equivalent with the Hyuuga?
Since Kakashi proved it was possible? Probably as failed experiments, at least assuming that why he had it was not a state secret on the the order of shadow clone, but "let's plop this eye out of this person and stick it in your head and see what happens" isn't exactly the sort of thought which occurs to almost anybody who isn't the slug summoner greatest medic-nin-ever-born. She... probably wouldn't be on board with harvesting healthy eyes.
Still, now that the final service program is in effect anyway there are probably quite a few just going to waste and she might feel differently about that...
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Not as far as we know, I'm just saying why I doubt Sasuke would be interested in a trade like that. Still, there is something to be said about having Depth Perception in your 360 degree view.
Words that End in GRY
One wonders how static parallax and focal distance interacts with seeing actual 3D instead of combined 2D projections of 3D. In ordinary humans binary optics is only really important for depth perception at arms length distances. Human eyes just aren't terribly far apart for static parallax to be really important in comparison to the other methods of depth perception. You can produce an effective illusion of depth on a single image television by hacking a Nintendo Wii to track head movement as long as you bob your head a bit.Not as far as we know, I'm just saying why I doubt Sasuke would be interested in a trade like that. Still, there is something to be said about having Depth Perception in your 360 degree view.
Words that End in GRY
xkcd.com
View: https://youtu.be/Jd3-eiid-Uw
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- Book Fort
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SHIKAKU'S GREAT-GRANDPA: "You want to found an echo of democracy, ushering in a brand new form of society that the world has never known before? You want to unite several families of nomadic magic users, with bloodline feuds extending back several centuries, under the thumb of one person? You want us to cease our nomadic traditions, for the first time in recorded history, and try our hand at a sedentary society, when no ninja has ever done so in living memory? And, again, you want us to do all of that while being neighbors with the very people who have spilled the blood of our loved ones, and we their own?"
HASHIRAMA: "Yes."
SHIKAKU'S GREAT-GRANDPA: [flips a few pages]
SHIKAKU'S GREAT-GRANDPA: "Okay, here's what you do..."
- Location
- Yes.
You know, when I first read this I thought it said cooking pot.
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- She/Her/They/Them
"If it has texture and taste, using it for food is best"
-- actual maxim that really exists
Now that you mention it, the Illuminati might actually exist in this setting, and the Nara being at the head would be perversely fitting even for purely nomenclatural reasons in the same way that in this reality nobody knows who invented the fire hydrant...
- Location
- The Void
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- She/Her
I mean there are 5 clans that communicate with each other and have forbidden lore entities bound in their head…
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- She/Her/They/Them
You do not recognise the bodies in the clan lore.
Yes. What confuses me is why they didn't just unite and conquer the world during the Warring Clans era. I still think there are messages hidden in that painting Shikamaru showed Kei which seemed on the surface level so ridiculously incompetent. He was already thinking of her as potential marriage material, and presented it as a test, so the mere context itself might contain a message.