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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Yes.
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[X] Action Plan: Hazou Remembers His Birthday
Word Count: smol
- Hazou takes 15 minutes to recollect what happened on his birthday
- He makes sure to write thank-you card for any gifts he recieved
- He also mentions any kind words anyone told him
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
We need to spend some time figuring out our next Isan plan. I think a thing we can do to better sell cleansing Yuno and establishing Keiko as even more important is forge some writing that UI left for his successor. Give us our own religious text to support our position. We can have Keiko claim that she has been on a pilgrimage to the great library and has just discovered them
Do we have anyone with particular skills at forging documents? All the sealmasters are away, plus Isan has religious experts that spend every day debating the finer points of Ui's philosophy. If they're discovered as fakes we'd be in deep shit. I'm sure they have writing in Ui's hand, any fake we did would have to pass inspection to that, and we don't even have access to the originals.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Hazou has the Iron Nerve, but shit calligraphy. With enough time and effort, he may be able to brute-force a success at forging Ui's handwriting. Kagome has an unknown (but presumed large) amount of skill in cryptography --he was able to decrypt Jiraiya's spy notes, after all. Yuno is an Isan "average man," along with whatever her perception as a Curse Child might have hampered her education. We might be able to convince the Yoshida to lend us their religious texts to aid with the proper theological framing and word choice...
But the Yoshida doing that, and then the Goketsu revealing a Surprise Word of God from Ui, Himself soon after isn't very subtle. We'd have to find a way to get them on board with this blatant abuse of theological devoutness. Doing this could easily be perceived as shitting on Isan's culture, something that the Yoshida want to protect and maintain as much as possible.
Hazou is useless for the next 4 months, he's not going to be passing any rolls in that time. I don't think this is a good plan, we'd need to persuade them to lend us the originals (unlikely) have Kagome make a fake and pass it off as real (unlikely) all while respecting their terrible religion (unlikely).
- Location
- Italy
Also there is more than handwriting to a text, aside from the fact that both the clans and the High priest would shut the thing down ASAP, accuse Keiko of heresy or something similar and exile her. He's smart enough to understand what would happen to his religious authority if he let something that massive slide. If we want to pull something similar to this, the need more backing from the clans of Isan, at least enough to stop our enemies to just flip the table and end the game.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
We have access to all of Leaf resources. We can just work with anyone from the KEI or from the Nara.
As for getting the originals we have panache and Mari. If the two of them can't break in and steal the originals I don't know who can
but since y'all seem to instantly shut this down would love to hear any alternatives of how we can start redeeming Yuno
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Mari is a grifter and not a thief, I wouldn't expect her to be able to break into a heavily guarded compound and steal some of their most precious documents.
Pangolin priest purifying Yuno of the curse. It's a lot less risky, in that we can't be executed or instantly discredited for attempting it, I also think it's about as likely to work. We won't get as much clout in Isan for having "instructions" from Ui, but the risk is a lot smaller.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Yes which is why Mari wouldn't be the one who would do the b and e. Instead we use Panache our stealth speced pangolin for it. Heck we had her break into the Mist Academy back in the day.
Mari is there to distract the guards. Is a team effort.
edit: also Mari knows whispers on the wind so she can stay in contact with panache. So if the guards decide to check it out she can just bounce back to the summon realm.
we're actually really well equipped for this
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- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
We do have access to all their text already
- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
Hey, at least your ideas are not ignored completely
Isan had hundreds of years of isolation when they had nothing better to do than to invent weird rules. Look at their dating rules for examples.
Now. Do you really think these batshit psychos would invent less rules for religion than for dating?
Just having the texts is not enough. They can have thousands of unwritten laws that we will definitely brake because we don't have that religious rules expert. And then Keiko and company would be exiled or executed and Asuma will look sadly at us.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Well I'm actually confused by why everyone thinks that these things have to match up with their rules. These are from Ui who died before the founding of the village
- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
These are from Ui in the same way as Bible comes from Jesus. Maybe by proxy and even then there is no one to confirm anything.
Also, IIRC the earliest document isanites have is written by Aiko, not Ui.
If Ui was to be resurrected in modern-day Isan he would probably burn the place to the ground out of sheer disgust.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Since everything does come from Aiko that makes it even easier. We don't have to steal or forge documents. We just have to bring the fakes to Isan and bam we establish Keiko as a bigger player since she has the direct word of UI
- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
You expect Azai faction to just roll with it?
Imagine Azai as a Pope in 7th century. He rules with a religious power. He has a lot of Roman followers and devotees. Suddenly a bunch of Greek foreigners show up with a text that is presumably written by Jesus and that contradicts with almost everything Pope's power stands on.
Even if this hypothetical Pope believes the document is authentic, he would burn it and the Greeks, claiming they are heretics. And most of Romans would cheer him for it.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
No I wouldn't expect the Azai faction to take this laying down. In fact eventually that's exactly what I want him to do. We need to eliminate his faction eventually so we need to force this conflict.
However we are not going to immediately go out and proclaim we found new sacred test. We are going to use it as a tool to recruit more ninja for our faction.
To start with we will just use it to cleanse Yuno and use that to get more clans to join.
Then we start targeting more and more ninja individually slowly build towards the conflict instead of rushing into it
We absolutely need to steal documents to do this, we have to fake his handwriting. Without an original to base our fake off of, we won't have a clue what it's supposed to look like.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
UI died before the founding of the village. So he probably didn't leave any notes. So there's nothing to steal.
But if we do have to steal something which we can confirm by talking to Yuno we have the ideal team to do a B&E in Panache and Mari
This is hopeless then, they'll never accept a text they can't verify. We'll just destroy our credibility.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
No it won't because it's not a to try to convince our enemies. It's to recruit allies. People that will gain power when we purge the high priest. They will want to believe because it tells a story that they are the ones who will benefit