We could also try to make something like napalm as an area denial weapon, no idea where the idea would come from IC tho
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Eisenhelm
gran dutch of douchery
- Location
- Colombia
I love this, making a clan politically and tactically irrelevant without technically harming anyone. But Asuma would get mad, stinky stinkers are not very stealthy.
So long as the low man power problem remains ANY kind of retaliation will get us in his bad side. The good news is that he will rule fairly when it comes to reparations once we have enough proof if he doesn't want us going around him every time something like this happens.
In the other hand, this will be excellent for any foreign clan, the invisibility bloodline springs to mind.
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Noumero
Omit Needless Words
We can weaponize it. Styled so, it'll attract trouble her way. Knowing which way it will go would let us trap said way to kingdom come. It's like a shaped explosive, except shaped along state space.
Which is why, incidentally, nothing bad (that wasn't already supposed to happen) will happen if Mari styles her hair this way. Giving us access to such narrative tools, to outcome pumps, is just asking for tragedy*.
* aspirin overdose
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Chapter 420, Part 1: Not Having the Stomach for It
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Kei was not feeling mortal terror. Not that she had ever been particularly courageous, much less dauntless, but the memory of Conjura's talons beginning to dig in, already scoring her flesh at the moment of Naruto's fateful blow, was still fresh, and perhaps always would be. Next to that, being merely afraid of confrontation with hostile shinobi who had incentive to capture her alive, with an entire night or more for her family to rescue her before the trial (Mari believed the High Priest would need to publicly discredit the Summoner before executing her)… truly, she was living in the lap of luxury.
The expressions on her hosts' faces were unwelcoming as she was marched in, escorted by four silent Azai guards whose cold attitudes had confirmed her pessimistic predictions. The High Priest's expression was unreadable as he gazed at her intently. Inoue had ceased to conceal her loathing, while Aida's expression held a shadow of satisfaction. Azai was nothing but grim. Arikada was the unexpected exception, and if Kei were to venture a guess at the meaning behind his expression, it would be… curiosity?
"It does you credit that you returned to face Isan's justice," the High Priest said. "I admit I expected you to flee once your plot was foiled."
He gave a brief pause.
"Emissary," he nodded to Pandā in acknowledgement.
There had been a debate over whether to resummon the little Pangolin after his initial urgent dismissal, but ultimately the twin considerations of feigning normality on the one hand and having an immediate escape option available on the other had emerged victorious.
"Hi," Pandā said, the flickering of his tongue conveying anxiety in a way that completely wasted his alien-species poker face.
"I believe there has been a misunderstanding," Kei said. "It has, understandably, been centuries since the Pangolins prepared food for humans, and clearly their selection was inappropriate. I admit I should have tested it in advance, but I felt it would be more respectful, both of them and of yourselves, to first experience it alongside you as intended. When I realised that the insects were not, in fact, fit for humans, I chose to leave swiftly so I could seek medical attention from my brother. As you can see, however, there was no threat to my health. I apologise for the inconvenience."
The others exchanged glances.
"Nonsense," Inoue spat after a second. "You're flailing, girl. What kind of addle-brained fool would ever take a load of strange insects from another world and feed them to someone without even making sure they were edible first?"
Kei had no answer. The insects had barely been delivered in time, after Pandā had been given less than a day to conduct his research and then find some, and by then the team had been deep in last-minute preparations of a diplomatic nature and experimenting with snacks had been the least of their concerns. But saying any of this could hardly make her story seem more credible.
"The proper punishment for attempted murder of a village leader is death," the High Priest said coolly. "But Ui has spoken to me. As Akio's master, he forgives his apprentice's mistake in choosing an unworthy heir. Your sentence is commuted to exile. You and the rest of the Leaf delegation must leave at once, never to return. Guards, escort Lady Nara back to the Kannagi estate and inform them of the circumstances."
Inoue's eyes glittered with triumph. Aida's remained empty. Azai looked dissatisfied, and Arikada still curious, as if waiting to see whether she could find a way out of her predicament.
Could she?
The guards lifted their spears. The High Priest demonstratively turned away.
"Hold it!"
Everyone in the room pivoted as one to look at Pandā, who had raised his claws above his head. It said much about the situation that the Isanese had forgotten about a Pangolin being in their midst.
"Emissary?" The High Priest asked warily.
"I take full responsibility!" Pandā exclaimed. "I chose the passion beetles on advice from one of Ui's Six Scourges, Panfurai the Immolator himself! He said they were Ui Isas's favourite snack, and not poisonous at all. If Ui had a condor's stomach and normal humans don't, that's no fault of Keiko's."
After a second, the High Priest glanced at Inoue. "Loremaster?"
Inoue nodded reluctantly. "The Iron War Scroll says clearly that Ui Isas had the fortitude of ten ordinary men. When he was being hunted by the Karatachi in the jungles of Jiro, he was forced to subsist on poisonous insects, and it only made him stronger while his pursuers perished."
Silence reigned. Arikada smirked, though Kei could not tell at whom.
"I apologise for doubting you, Emissary," the High Priest said finally. "It seems this truly was an unfortunate misunderstanding. Lady Nara, if you are still willing, would you like to dine with us?"
"I would be delighted," Kei said, "though I am afraid I am in no condition to eat anything else tonight."
"I understand entirely," the High Priest said. "And if you'll forgive me, we might strike these 'passion beetles' from the menu. I don't think anyone here is in a hurry to measure their constitution against Ui's."
"Be my guest."
-o-
You have received 3 + 1 = 4 XP.
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To be continued next week, or before if spoons allow.
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What do you do?
Voting ends on Saturday 20th of March, 1 p.m. New York time.
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- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[Googles] You think Keiko should seduce the High Priest?
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Pandaa comin' through in the clutch.
We should get him a...book? A present, at least.
We should get him a...book? A present, at least.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Let's fucking go", approximately
Then again, the word fuck often doesn't make much sense in english either lol
Eisenhelm
gran dutch of douchery
- Location
- Colombia
Es funar o ser funado.
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- Location
- Pacific standard
I think this translates closer to "let's go to fuck", and vamos de mierda would be closer to "let's fucking go" but the idiom doesn't really translate either way
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- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Actually, condors, being a kind of vulture, have exceptionally strong stomachs.
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- He/Him
Dunno, don't speak spanish but my native Spanish speaking friend didn't seem to think it was weird.
I'd like to note "let's fucking go" doesn't make sense in english either if you take the literal meanings of the words lmao
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
So it looks like Azai was too eager for the killing blow here, probably attempting to ram the judgement through before the perfect opportunity in his lap could be spoiled. Instead it's clear that Azai's plan failed, and he's also played his hand a bit regarding his intentions (declare Keiko unworthy and exile her).
The question now is what this changes about Azai's and his enemies' game plans, and what fallout remains from the events of that dinner. It's possible that this just put Azai on the defensive as his enemies take the opportunity to push back somehow, but I wouldn't get confident yet.
SC Math for Chapter 420, Part 1 (Applied):
@eaglejarl, @Velorien
With Hazou and Keiko off on mission, only Akane continues to FOOM. By the SOP, she is training with 5 clones. With 3 base XP, the SC payouts are:
The question now is what this changes about Azai's and his enemies' game plans, and what fallout remains from the events of that dinner. It's possible that this just put Azai on the defensive as his enemies take the opportunity to push back somehow, but I wouldn't get confident yet.
SC Math for Chapter 420, Part 1 (Applied):
@eaglejarl, @Velorien
With Hazou and Keiko off on mission, only Akane continues to FOOM. By the SOP, she is training with 5 clones. With 3 base XP, the SC payouts are:
- Akane: +1.5 XP (3 x0.5)
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
There wasn't. Typically, RNG can be involved in social interactions (where social combat takes place in the background), or in some macro events (for example, we rolled to see who survived the Great Collapse), but in this case everything was modelled manually.
@eaglejarl : "what is clotting again?"
At this point we should probably just be delivering the authors blood transfusions. Not from me, obviously- short of an organ transplant literally nobody compatible alive is expected to be ready to provide in time without extraordinarily suspicious circumstances or somebody handing me a blank check, biotech lab with a stable of what Orochimaru no doubt refers to as "undergrads", and zero ethical supervision I'm estimated to live a few more years at most and transporting my fluids before we figure it the hell out might be an actual war crime- but the thread should be able to provide.
Heck, let's not even tell them about it. They just get a regularly scheduled subscription for a pint of chilled human blood delivered to their doorstep a few times a week. It'd be disturbing as hell, but not technically illegal, so what are they going to do- complain? Worst case scenario is that they spend it training the new Guard Cat in proper target recognition.
In fact, does Leaf have a courier service? When is Hinata's birthday again?
What did I tell you? Pandaa is fucking awesome.
"First into the shit?" "The smoke is our fire?"
I probably lost something in my absurdly incompetent translation, but somehow I still find the sentiment appealing as we burn our way across half a continent.