Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
No, why would that be the case?
It's obvious that the Doggo adopted a pack of doggo on the human path.
Yay, chakra meteorites and golems. We're going back to the Swamp of Death, aren't we? Well, at least this time both Naruto and Asuma want us dead. On the plus side, there are probably plenty of A-class missions to drive beasts towards leased Rock territory available. At least we have Jiraiya's initial notes, safehouses, and observations. There's bound to be a reason that the only person to ever kill a chakra golem and live was keeping a close eye on the area. I wonder if we might get permission to contact Akatsuki again? These are things Hidan was frightened of.
Does this mean you didn't have fun or that you didn't particularly have fun?
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- NY
I know people like this IRL. They confuse and frighten me.
#BurnTheFuckingEverything
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
... You know, the Hagoromo are a voting clan. That means that we can adopt as many of them as we want without having to worry about messing up the Tower's finances.
Furthermore, Asuma is likely mainly going to dislike us destroying the Hagoromo because it would mean less military power for Leaf. Which is something that can be easily fixed by a clan adopting all the ex-Hagoromo ninja. Which would also fix our ninja-power issue.
Therefore, if we want to destroy the Hagoromo, we should then adopt as many of their people as possible.
Edit:
It also fixes the problem of potentially hurting a lot of innocent people if the whole clan aren't as conservative as their leader.
Furthermore, Asuma is likely mainly going to dislike us destroying the Hagoromo because it would mean less military power for Leaf. Which is something that can be easily fixed by a clan adopting all the ex-Hagoromo ninja. Which would also fix our ninja-power issue.
Therefore, if we want to destroy the Hagoromo, we should then adopt as many of their people as possible.
Edit:
It also fixes the problem of potentially hurting a lot of innocent people if the whole clan aren't as conservative as their leader.
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- Location
- USA
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- He/Him
Could've been worse. The dogs were enjoyable, and having Gaku makes it much easier to get through boring delegation and infodump scenes.
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- Book Fort
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- They/Them
Okay, so a couple of updates regarding my general voting preferences:
Added @Lailoken and @Kiba's respective ideas to the "shortlist" of ways to get my vote.
Furthermore, I'm going to precommit my votes for the next two plans to (literally) any plan that has us taking some form of action against the Hagoromo. We'll be a little limited in what we can do, until Gaku and Mari come back with their information on what their weaknesses are --and we're going to need to leave room for Keiko's offscreen plan to work, but I suspect that could be dealt with a line like "coordinate with Keiko to avoid cross-plan conflict" --but we can begin taking steps, I think.
While I want the Hagoromo to suffer for being bigoted, hateful, and so obstinately stupid that they shouldn't... (*ahem*), I also worry that EJ hasn't been enjoying writing up our voted-in plans lately. Too safe, too boring, but this latest chapter seemed to imply that he wanted to write Hazou viciously going after the Hagoromo. So let's do that.
Added @Lailoken and @Kiba's respective ideas to the "shortlist" of ways to get my vote.
Furthermore, I'm going to precommit my votes for the next two plans to (literally) any plan that has us taking some form of action against the Hagoromo. We'll be a little limited in what we can do, until Gaku and Mari come back with their information on what their weaknesses are --and we're going to need to leave room for Keiko's offscreen plan to work, but I suspect that could be dealt with a line like "coordinate with Keiko to avoid cross-plan conflict" --but we can begin taking steps, I think.
While I want the Hagoromo to suffer for being bigoted, hateful, and so obstinately stupid that they shouldn't... (*ahem*), I also worry that EJ hasn't been enjoying writing up our voted-in plans lately. Too safe, too boring, but this latest chapter seemed to imply that he wanted to write Hazou viciously going after the Hagoromo. So let's do that.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
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- She/They
*takes notes*
"Give players... secretary-adjacent character...to streamline infodumps and... provide additional comedic relief..."
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- The Maple Syrup Mountains
SC Math:
Presuming that there was nothing getting in the way of Keiko's SC regimen this update, then by her SOP she would have trained with 3 clones, for a x1.3 modifier to her XP this update. The XP payout this update was 3 XP, so Keiko got +0.9 XP.
(If SC applies to the +1 brevity XP, then Keiko got +1.2 XP, but I don't know if that applies or not)
(If the Keiko training plan from this tally went through then she would be training with 4 clones, for +1.2 or +1.6 bonus XP, depending on whether brevity XP counts)
@eaglejarl, @Velorien
Presuming that there was nothing getting in the way of Keiko's SC regimen this update, then by her SOP she would have trained with 3 clones, for a x1.3 modifier to her XP this update. The XP payout this update was 3 XP, so Keiko got +0.9 XP.
(If SC applies to the +1 brevity XP, then Keiko got +1.2 XP, but I don't know if that applies or not)
(If the Keiko training plan from this tally went through then she would be training with 4 clones, for +1.2 or +1.6 bonus XP, depending on whether brevity XP counts)
@eaglejarl, @Velorien
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- The Void
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- She/Her
Just a note every plan except I wrote since the middle of July has got QM had fun from Eaglejarl
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- Book Fort
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- They/Them
[x] Action Plan: A Shadowed Retribution, Heralding Radiant Reform and Fresh Pursuits
Words: 373
Words: 373
- Mari and Gaku
- What did you find?
- Debts? Rumors? What's the clan like as a whole?
- How is Leaf reacting to a Clan with a religious monopoly unilaterally banning an entire noble clan from a cornerstone cultural/religious ceremony?
- How are the clanless ninja, the yakuza, Ami, ISC, and the other clans (Hyuuga, Yakuza, Senju, Uchiha, Uzumaki, etc) reacting?
- What did you find?
- Dismiss Gaku, Summon Goketsu ninja
- Check with Keiko beforehand, to ensure this doesn't go against her own plans
- Ask Mari to begin a whisper campaign, encouraging bad rumors and tainting good ones
- The goal is to get everyone to wonder "Am I next?"
- Give permission to involve Gaku, if she thinks he can help
- Tally up every Hagoromo debt we now own, plus whatever interest percentage is above the standard for Leaf-norms. Keep in reserve.
- Kagome/Akane
- What do Jiraiya's notes have about the Hagoromo? What can we act on, what should we keep in reserve?
- Task Haru with messing with the Hagoromo supply shipments, ensuring they quietly end up in the hands of the Hagoromo's competitors
- Provide possible help via Noburi or Keiko as teammates
- Ensure they have all supplies and funds needed to carry out the mission as subtly as possible.
- Permit Yakuza involvement, if necessary.
- Ask Mari to begin a whisper campaign, encouraging bad rumors and tainting good ones
- Check with Keiko beforehand, to ensure this doesn't go against her own plans
- Afterwards, ask Mari to remain
- Tone: compassionate, gentle
- What's your Uplift?
- Hazou has civilian/clanless
- Kieko has her pursuit of equal rights for "nontraditional" relationships
- Kagome is taking an interest in education, in his own way
- Conditional: if this seems to make Mari unsure about her place in our lives, comfort and reassure her accordingly.
- What's your Personal Uplift?
- Conditional: If Mari is agreeable to the topic, but also unsure of her personal Uplift goals, gently suggest gender equality or a reformation of how Leaf handles sexual assault crimes as possible Uplift pursuits
- Regardless of her answer, gently remind her that she has the full support and aid of Team Uplift to call upon.
- With Mari's help, pen letters to the political parties that are leaning favorably towards us (plus Ami, Naruto, Tsunade, and the KEI Group) to sway them fully to our side.
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- Location
- The Void
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- She/Her
Just a heads up this is a really passive plan that is just a series of meetings. It might be smart to try to make it a bit more active
Not voting for this plan. We should be dealing with the Hagoromo.
[X] Action Plan: Proportionate Response
Coordinate with Keiko, Mari, the Nara, etc relevant parties:
Coordinate with Keiko, Mari, the Nara, etc relevant parties:
- Assumption: We have intel on Hagoromo including their income, ninja profile, who's bigot and who's not, etc
- Give the Hagoromo opportunities to back out. Otherwise, put increasing pressure until they back off.
- Start with circumvention, then economic and political attacks if that doesn't work.
- If we can, we will just work around the Hagoromo.
- Seek political legitimacy; bribe a Hagoromo or Hagoromo affliated priest; get Tsunade to officiate; have the hokage officiate it.
- Whatever works. We may have to go to Church of Youth or the Toads to do it.
- Keep in mind that the Hagoromo aren't only snubbing Goketsu ninja, but civilian Goketsu, who are integrated into the rest of the community.
- Boycotts and collective actions are possible.
- Start with circumvention, then economic and political attacks if that doesn't work.
- Recruit folks to help put pressure on the Hagoromo
- Inuzuka's Manaka?
- Ami, because she cares about her sister's happiness.
- Political questions:
- What do Hyuga gets out of warning us about the Hagoromo?
- Example tactics:
- Whisper campaign against leaderships using salacious stories.
- Hit their pocket books with boycotts. Target their source of income.
- Assign a SC to produce explosive and storage seals.
- Doggo quest:
- Inquire the Inuzuka about hunter dogs that may have worked with the summon clan.
- Introduce Canun to Eibsu. Make sure we have permission to teach doggos Leaf jutsus.
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- Book Fort
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- They/Them
Hm. Good point. I want to keep the Mari part, but how does this look? It has Hazou taking action against the Hagoromo, but leaving the big guns in reserve, just in case. I added a "schedule a meeting" part to give them one chance before we rain hellfire down on them.
(I also suggest that we keep the Hagoromo out of the 7th path trade network, if this feud is still going on after we set the network up).
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[] Protoplan: "99 Reasons Why Fuck the Church" by Hazou Luther
- Ask Noburi to begin summoning the Toadism priest to give public sermons (preferably in front of a statue of Jiraiya, to remind people that listening to toads is not against the Will of Fire).
- Encourage people to begin using the Church of Youth for religious ceremonies. Hire people to talk about how "the Spirit of Youth is Hiashi Hyuuga's legacy and a totally valid religion" and really engrain it in the public consciousness.
- Find priests who are affiliated with the Hagoromo and have the Hazou/Mari tag team work to get an important one to denounce Lord Hagoromo as going against the Will of Fire in order to start a religious schism.
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- The Void
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- She/Her
Out boy had already said he wanted to burn them to the ground. Also from personal experience debating with homophones is a loosing proposition
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- He/Him
Giving them one more chance won't hurt, especially if we go ahead and anticipate they won't take it (which they won't). I wouldn't mind investigating if there's any dissent in the lower ranks of the Hagoromo though (especially if some of the clan are gay and also being repressed by their elders), so we can use that against them too.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I was picturing more of a "one meeting before the gauntlet is thrown," and a "We tried to parlay with the Akatsuki..." but you're right. The Hagoromo have already thrown down the gauntlet and Hazou's likely learned about timing your parlay from the Akatsuki Letter Incident. Gonna cut that part out, give me a sec (also added in a part about Jiraiya's notes).
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I'm hesitant to do anything Church of Youth related. Guy got away with it because he was a jonin, but Lee gets weird looks, is shunned, and is thought of as political poison. Even Mari and Keiko warned us against adopting Lee, so I worry that trying to push for this will just make the Goketsu viewed as the antithesis of Leaf-culture, and thus a Social Other.
As for Toadism, we're not even sure if that's a thing, IIRC. And I worry that committing blatant heresy like that would only prove Hagoromo's points while also undermining Jiraiya's memory. Besides, having a Summon (who are all blatantly nonhuman and universally some degree of xenophobic --both according to Jiraiya, and according to what we've seen so far) preach a nonhuman religion to humans doesn't seem like something that would succeed. Especially if their cultural xenophobia has seeped into their religion --and religions often reflect the culture they exist in, or the religion changes to suit the culture it wants to inhabit.
I... think that this would probably be covered in Mari and Gaku's debrief? Since Hazou basically asked for "anything and everything we could use to bury them."
Edit: although I'm hesitant to out specific people, so we should be careful in how we use that knowledge.
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- Location
- Yes.
@Inferno Vulpix Could you make the change in your 7th Path Map that there's a river in between the Kangaroos and the Arachnids?