-
Going forward, links to content from Twitter (now X) will no longer be embedded. Pre-existing links should not be affected.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
If we can't grow them we can at least bring a bunch back and use them to show the Akimichi the value of trade.
Jiraiya and Asuma both said that there isn't much trade occurring because there isn't a lot to trade, but I can't possibly reconcile that with all these different goods (mostly foods) that we keep seeing in foreign lands. I just don't understand why they both believe it. Asuma makes sense since he's a relatively normal ninja and ninja hardly ever interact with such mundane things as trade or profits, but Jiraiya was a spymaster. Surely he should know a lot about trade between villages at least. On the other hand, maybe Jiraiya only ever needed to know what was actually traded, and never had a reason to learn all the different products that don't get traded?
Edit:
Also, does anyone else think that the Oracle is probably the summoner we're looking for?
Edit:
@Velorien it may be helpful to clarify that Renunis the girl that Noburi was talking to at the lemon stand. I was kind of confused about who she was (and am still not sure if I'm right that it's her).
Last edited:
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
FWIW, I think that was just him talking up Ryuji in front of his daughter in the hopes that she will marry him already.
E: This is now the second update in recent times that is bringing up the whole Akane/Hazou thing (the first being her wanting to talk to him about it and Hazou going full on Prophet of the Out so we never saw what exactly she wanted to tell us).
Last edited:
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I mean, think about how profitable the spice trade was in our own world history? I chalk it up to them being ninja and thus only really ever seeing the more military side of the world. As for Jiraiya? I think it's a combination of things. He was raised in a military culture, so that's what his mentality reflects --despite his yearning for peace, Jiraiya doesn't really know how that would work, or what that would look like, hence why he leaves it to "the next generation." Jiraiya was also, as you said, a spymaster. So I think his focus would have been more on the sociological/military side. What numbers do they have? How is this village's relationship with the merchant councils and how can we undermine that? Do they rely on trade overmuch? Let's bomb their suppliers.
If Leaf is mostly self-sufficient, then it's likely that Jiraiya wouldn't really notice trade, other than how it might be twisted/broken to harm Leaf's enemies. Why bother stealing the trade contracts when Leaf doesn't need it? That would just be giving away stuff that the Leaf does need. Like Asuma said, most of Leaf's trade is for luxury goods, so why would they care about things like fruit? The Leaf is basically a giant forest, they've got fruit. Well, that's just an example, but still.
Yeah... based on her reaction, I doubt that's happening anytime soon.
And yeah, we need to have a heart-to-heart with her soon. At the very least to try and explain that we had an Out Moment, so that she knows Hazou wasn't deliberately blowing her off or being actively cruel.
Last edited:
- Location
- Yes.
It's not that there isn't a lot to trade (as in not a lot of variety in tradable goods) but that there isn't enough quantity of tradable goods to be profitable. At least FMPOV.
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Good point. It's kind of depressing that Jiraiya probably didn't even have a concept of what peace would look like, but I guess that's to be expected of a ninja.
That makes sense, I guess. I don't really know enough about pre-industrial trade to know how much excess stuff they could produce.
Either way, the answer is simple. We just need to create industrialization or something else to increase supply! Then trade will necessary in order to have enough demand.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
That is a direct challenge. [x] Ask a monk what the Earth Spirit might take offence at. Treat whatever he says as a to-do list.
That is also a challenge. [x] Send Haru to investigate the Greater Forest
Man, they just keep offering us challenges. [x] Send Akane to—
Oh, nevermind, she's already doing it. Smart girl.
This leaves Noburi without a challenge, unoccupied. I suppose he shall keep doing what he's doing, i. e. pursuing the winning strategy of seducing people.
Last edited:
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I think it's more hopeful than anything. Jiraiya's generation was mired in war, violence, and brutality. But it still gave birth to people like him, who longed for peace. Who longed for a better world for the generations to come. Isn't that what anyone wants? A better world for their children? We might not really be sure of what that would look like, or maybe we only have the vaguest of notions, but that's a human truth; to want to improve the lives of those that come after you. Jiraiya, I think, would have made a good father.
I'm honestly hoping that there's something to this Earth Spirit, even if it's not quite what the religion says. And Akane? Well... Yeah, I have a hard time believing that she'd fail a test of faith.
Last edited:
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I think you may have mis-parsed this. It's not that it's a test of faith rather than of knowledge, but that you are taking the test because of your faith rather than because you know in advance what it is.
The nature of the test itself remains a mystery.
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Akane's going to have to eat an entire bushel of those lemons to prove her physique is truly worthy, isn't she?
- Location
- Yes.
No, she's going to have to inhale the smoke and ash made from an incinerated bushel of those lemons.
- Location
- Under a Rock
That would require advances in clueslessness that are purely theoretical at the moment. Hazou managed to not realize he'd been dumped. For weeks. He managed to have more than one conversation with Akane without figuring it out, including a conversation about how he was handling the breakup!
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Oh, that makes more sense.
------------
Updated: January 8th, 2021
- Yes
- Heart-touching, painfully saccharine, melt-your-heart-and-rot-your-teeth character interactions
- Giving Cool Side Characters Screen Time
- Ino, Yuno, Ami, Haru, Sasuke, Tsunade, etc
- Family Team Uplift Stuff (this now extends to Tsunade and Yuno)
- Cool Uplift Projects
- Cool Sealing Projects
- No
- Anything that might potentially draw Orochimaru's personal interest/curiosity/ire towards Hazou
- This will expire once Hazou becomes (bare minimum) a jonin strong enough to...
- Tank Orochimaru's full aura for an extended period of time
- Understand and navigate Orochimaru's personality adeptly
- Fight Orochimaru on equal footing, countering Orochimaru's esoteric stuff
- This will expire once Hazou becomes (bare minimum) a jonin strong enough to...
- Being deliberately mean/cruel to Team Uplift
- Anything that might potentially draw Orochimaru's personal interest/curiosity/ire towards Hazou
1-3 In-Game Weeks
- 7th Path Trade Network Stuff
- Make amends with Ami
2-3 In-Game Months
- Work out plan to wall up every hamlet/town/village in Fire
- Meet with Keiko's potential romantic partner
- reassure her of safety
- ask her intentions
- if Hazou-pilot approves, tell her about the Goketsu CCnJ technique
- Institute Community Meal Day, as per this post
3+ In-Game Months
- Try to understand Ami more
- We know she switches personality programs to get the desired outcome
- She's young for a jonin and trained under the Heartbreaker
- Physcial coward and unusually weak for a jonin
- Just aware of her vulnerabilities? (min/maxing)
- Related to her trauma?
- She's fatalistically dedicated to an unknown cause, but holds her personal freedom above even that
- perhaps her jonin-trigger was something related to infringing upon her freedom?
- She respects Uplift's intent but thinks that Hazou's an idealistic idiot.
- Keiko unintentionally helped Ami through her jonin-trigger and Ami is now almost obsessed with Keiko's health/prosperity
- Apparently her Ultimate Goal is compatible with Uplift, according to Keiko
- She's deeply unsettled by Hazou's presence in her life
- Hazou is connected to Keiko, and Ami is connected to Keiko, so Ami cannot break Hazou the way she normally would do to any other threat
- Hazou is perceptive enough to see through Ami's charades, given enough time
- Hazou's goals are compatible with her own
- Ami is emotionally vulnerable to Hazou in a way she likely hasn't been since the trauma that led her to her current path
- Ami has never had much experience with family or friends, is very much out of her depth and doesn't like being as helpless as she currently is
- Prove that lower taxes increase productivity, as per this post.
- Check the legality of this experiment with Asuma
- Chakra Farm
- Use chakra spider silk to help with skyglider development
- incorporate chakra spiders into chakra farm to milk their silk
- Trade Naruto for the Lightning Lash Jutsu
- Sealing Ideas
- Daybright seals in greenhouses?
- Sasori's Smoke Seals?
- Solar-powered bonus-power to seals (idea)
- Action Relay Seals (idea)
- Megalovania Seals (idea)
- Hovercraft
- Aquifer (for fresh water for eventual sewer system)
- land's cleared of chakra beasts
- Needs to be cleared of trees and dug. Earth Jutsu?
- Create Bifocal Lenses for eyeglasses
- Kabuto has corrective lenses, therefore, people know about near/far sighted.
- Bifocal Lenses are a natural extension of that.
- If Sasuke is open to such an idea, give the Uchiha Clan a free "the Goketsu Clan will train x amount of Uchiha ninja in sealing" coupon.
- The Uchiha have exactly one active ninja: Sasuke. He's going to need help reestablishing the identity of an Uchiha. It'll probably be a few decades until Sasuke can cash it in, but it'll be there if he needs it.
- Set up a Church of Youth or something to redistribute thrown out/wasted food to the clanless/poor
- Ino or Shikamaru could provide a point of contact to the Akimichi clan head
- Sealing Scrolls are stasis, that could help keep the food fresh during redistribution?
- Spend time with Naruto
- Ask if he needs more ranged options, judging by the Condor Battle he might
- If he does, offer up aerodynamics notes to help him come up with his own ranged technique (or modify the Rasengan)
- Offer up Goketsu resources (even if it's just a brainstorming session with us)
- Ask if he needs more ranged options, judging by the Condor Battle he might
- Quantify Chakra in a scientific manner
- Convince the Pangolins to stop war
- They're nonhuman sophonts, is this an innate drive or just cultural conditioning?
- Why do they do this?
- How can that reasoning be satisfied elsewhere
- All summons are xenophobic but the Pangolins are significantly more so (according to Jiraiya).
- How can we fix that?
- Other Summon Clans seem to regard the Pangolins with a mixture of disregard and amusement.
- Pangolin's Self-Concept more skewed than normal?
- Create a system of vacuum-sealing food for long term storage
- Adopt Honoka and her family into the clan
- Talk to Tsunade and Ami about Orochimaru
- Get Leaf civilians access to the Leaf Library
- Hazou got (guarded) access to the non-restricted parts, back when he was a missing nin
- Hazou, through poetry, knows the enlightenment that can come from learning new things
- Civilians don't need access to chakra theory and other ninja-related stuff
- Philosophy, poetry, math, history, etc can provide tools to change a person's life for the better
Last edited:
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
You, kind sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Buying it now.
Edit: Campus was closed yesterday and all my classes were moved online. Currently staying with my S.O.'s family. Hope everyone's doing alright!
Last edited:
will408914
(slouching towards bethlehem)
- Location
- California
Is it just me, or is anyone else getting Orochimaru vibes from all of this?
- Location
- Yes.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I managed to restrain myself from making this exact comment, but only barely.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Jiraiya was pretty good at restraining things too, I heard.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Not himself.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I'm hoping that it's just a natural/supernatural phenomenon that people are taking too far (kind of like the Cave of Delphi)...
But if we find that the Summoner is someone along the same lines as Orochimaru, I suggest extermination. As soul-fleeingly terrifying as Orochimaru is, he has emotional tethers to the Leaf (I could go on a spiel about my thoughts on him). This summoner has none and bringing her back could only hurt the Leaf. Mari is vulnerable right now, Kagome is Kagome and doesn't like the benevolent strangers, Ami teamed up with an Orochimaru-esque character is a... horrible thought.
Between our horde of seals, the pangolin techniques, and Hazou's tactical planning, we should be relatively okay... (*knocks on wood*). But I'm going to hope that it's more "weird religion springs up around interesting natural/magical phenomenon." That said, we might want to begin brainstorming battle plans... just in case.
Last edited:
- Location
- Yes.
Just to be clear, my yes was a faflec.response, not an "I agree, something is fucky" response.
More worldbuilding! I love it
I think Hazou's inner introvert is shocked at the tourist-edition of the "Customer Service Voice."
Okay, kinda suspicious, but also fits with the standard "customer service" stuff...
Okay, now I'm beginning to think that there's a secret police going on, or that they're being spied on by someone/something.
Innkeeper: Takes all kinds, I suppose...?
Haru is an dangerous, angsty teenage boy with a tragic backstory and just enough baggage that some girls might think he can be "healed." I have a feeling that Haru's going to be the most clueless of all the Goketsu when it comes to romance. Even Hazou.
Huh. Maybe the Earth Spirit has some grain of truth to it after all? Some little bit of fact that's been diluted with several centuries' worth of religious tradition?
Poor Hazou... Boy needs a hug and some Mari-talk, once she's feeling better. Or maybe she'd be okay to do it once we get back? It'd serve as character development, bonding time, a show of trust to someone who very much needs that right now, and just good-family-time overall. At least Hazou has enough self-awareness to realize he's still aching from the break. I've known people who wouldn't realize if they were on fire.
Noburi accidentally won points with her and made me laugh... a win/win!
I'm sure she's thinking "well, he's not bright, but those muscles..."
Girl: Oh boy, you know how many times I've been hit on while at work?
Noburi: ...
Girl: You're lucky you're cute, though. How does 6 sound?
...Akane, this isn't a horror movie... please don't wander off in the forest alone...
Okay, so I'm pretty sure this guy is part of the spy network. Or he should be, anyway. He and Jiraiya would get along famously. Or he could just be trying to set Rena up with a boy approximately her age? The way that parents/grandparents do to mess with their younger children/grandchildren.
I wanted to, instinctively, doubt that this would happen --that they'd just move after long enough. But then I remember that a lot of Mesoamerican cultures, along with Mesopotamia and Egypt, practically shaped their culture around frequent floodings. Gotta say, I love the nod to human resilience to look at Mother Nature and go "Fuck you and your weather, I'll just rebuild my house! Bigger and Better!"
The Summoner!
Yup, the man's teasing the youth and playing wingman for Rena!
Same here, actually. It's a lot different from the military-focused cultures of the Hidden Villages!
I'd vote for that. And if we can grow them well enough, we might be able to sell them. We should try to find out more about how they're grown before we leave. We can always trade for seed once we get back to the village... probably. Actually, we might want to do that before we somehow set the whole island ablaze... And if they have a growth rate as outrageously long as pineapples/dates, then we can still do it with the reasoning "our children/grandchildren will profit from this" which would go towards showing the Goketsu's devotion to the WoF.
Get a couple saplings as well.
Also, solve the delay by talking Uncle to help weaponize the self-assembling acid grenades.
Actually, we really should keep an eye out for any interesting or exotic lifeforms. It would be a way to win points with him without committing atrocities.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Keep an eye out, yes.
Bring back, no. He's got an appropriate degree of caution regarding chakra beasts.