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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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I'm going to express the concern of Hyuga (or related individuals) noticing us using Skywalkers illegally to get atop the Skytower and having us taken in for treason, but as long as that gets accounted for in the plan I think it'll be fine. Just have a note saying "don't use Skywalkers, that's treason" or "make sure nobody sees us using Skywalkers, that's treason", or something along one of those two lines.
Oneiros said:
Leave a note explaining it was an accident and we respect the work they are doing.
  • We wouldn't be opposed to working with them
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Where are we leaving the note, and what measures are we taking to ensure someone else doesn't find it? Honest question.
 
faflec said:
I'm going to express the concern of Hyuga (or related individuals) noticing us using Skywalkers illegally to get atop the Skytower and having us taken in for treason, but as long as that gets accounted for in the plan I think it'll be fine. Just have a note saying "don't use Skywalkers, that's treason" or "make sure nobody sees us using Skywalkers, that's treason", or something along one of those two lines.
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Just don't use skywalkers to get up there. Do it the old fashioned way, one on top of the other.
 
faflec said:
We're...not disassembling the Skytower when we're done with it? Do you mean that we're putting the sign up while we sleep, and taking it with us when we leave in the morning.
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We will be taking it with us. This is a precaution if the watchers manage to fly up to the sky tower and knock whomever is on watch out. That way they know that it was an accident before they murder us
 
Oneiros said:
We will be taking it with us. This is a precaution if the watchers manage to fly up to the sky tower and knock whomever is on watch out. That way they know that it was an accident before they murder us
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Oh, great. I was a bit concerned because I'd read it as us leaving the sign, and the Skytower, assembled in the sky when we leave.

[X] Action Plan: Watch out for the Watchers
 
Oneiros said:
How do we feel about just going ahead and teaching Naruto the Pangolin conditioning jutsu?
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Only if we talk to him about the conditions for having the jutsu (i.e., that the Pangolins don't want it being given to non-Gouketsu) and that we do see him as being functionally Gouketsu even though the paperwork hasn't been filed yet. It could be a good way to get his loyalty back after Mari's appraisal of his situation. Still gotta stress the importance of him not revealing that he knew the jutsu before he became Gouketsu officially, we don't want the reveal of us going back on our word to the world in general, and the Seventh Path specifically. The Toads might not take kindly to such a thing, especially since they're allied with the Pangolins.

And also that we do it in the Gouketsu estate, where there are anti-spying seals set up. Because something something spying.
 
Oneiros said:
How do we feel about just going ahead and teaching Naruto the Pangolin conditioning jutsu?
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I don't trust the secret to never get out, and we aren't in a position where we can blow off an Oathbreaker reputation on the Seventh Path. I'm firmly against it unless we're planning to cut ties with the Seventh Path.

I could be persuaded to teach them to Naruto before adopting him, but if Mari is right and we aren't going to actually adopt him anytime soon then I'm against it.
 
I mean, we could literally just ask what Naruto wants.

It's a thing we can do. He's right there.
 
Hmm, given that we have a presumably decently long sealing failure scene to deal with, if we put a Naruto conversation after that we should pretty much fill up the update.

I'd be in favour of keeping everything from Salterns and below in the Plan Cache for next cycle and just focusing on the sealing failure and Naruto conversation. No sense putting things in the plan if we don't expect to get to them, after all.
 
I don't really see Hazo freaking out over seals to be the problem here. Maybe the dangerous ones?

eaglejarl said:
"Hm?" Hazō said, glancing up. The cheese board, he decided, reaching for the appropriate seal. The aged blue cheese would go very well with the sharp white wine he intended to serve with the asparagus bronzini. Although...was the bronzini the right choice? What if Naruto didn't like fish?
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eaglejarl said:
"Yep!" Hazō said, trotting over with an implosion seal in hand and taking over the job of keeping the slab balanced. "Range is hot! Say again, range is hot! Stand clear! Stand clear! Stand clear!"

Everyone hustled out of the blast radius, and then kept going.

"Akane, clear!" came the first shout.

"Naruto, clear!" came the second. (Presumably shouted by Prime. None of the Narutos were visible, so Hazō assumed they had all followed their creator.)

"Kagome clear, you idiot!" shouted Kagome-sensei. "You better not get caught in the blast!"

Hazō set the timer, dropped the seal,
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Hazo was fine with seals before this.
eaglejarl said:
Two Naruto clones had stayed behind in order to lift up the granite slab that had protected the seal. The paper was still there, undisturbed. Hazō was confident that the words 'gleaming with fell purpose' were purely his own thoughts and did not map to anything in reality nor were put there by—
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I'm wondering if there really was outside interference in his thoughts or if his subconscious is poking hard here. Either way I guess we can work our way back up from our simpler seals. Might be a good idea to repeat our use of the mirror trick in the basement.

Also, maybe Hazo can distract himself with a hard reset by using dispel. Genjutsu screws with your mind, so why not use dispel to get rid of another threat to his mind? We kind of got a warning beforehand as well, so he can try using it then.


[X] Action Plan: Watch out for the Watchers
 
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PSA: Life is causing @Velorien problems again, so I'll be doing something short for Thursday. Almost certainly an interlude, but if I'm feeling extra energetic then I'll do the seal failure. Regardless, voting is extended until Saturday at 9am Eastern.


Oneiros said:
Prepare any signs in granite using inscription jutsu.
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No one in the group (including Naruto) knows a jutsu suitable for making delicate carvings (e.g. signs) in granite. Before you ask: Rasengan isn't a precision instrument.

Oneiros said:
Find, rebuild, and re-key Jiraiya's contacts/network.
  1. Look for merchants we can recruit for merchant empire
  2. Be on the lookout for fire Yakuza
    • Find someone going to Mist to send a message to the Oyabun that we would like to discuss working with him further
    • We want to contract with the Yakuza to sell Ice and salt in Mist in huge quantities
      • This is priority one
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To be clear, you're looking for the Fire Yakuza and asking them to take a message to the Mist Yakuza.

Separately, as your highest priority after the sealing failure is dealt with, you want to contract with the (presumably Mist?) Yakuza to sell salt and ice in Mist.

There is not mention of selling ice or salt in Fire, so presumably that's not a thing you want to do.



Tua said:
Inspired by all the sealing shenanigens:


A crashing sound from a corner of his bedroom startled Hazou awake.

"Hmm, studying a genuine summoning scroll as a novice sealmaster? How utterly reckless."

Who said that? There was no one else in the room besides himse--

Hazou froze because he spotted a very tiny woman traipsing up and down on his chest, talking to herself. And why did she have wings of all things?

"Lucky he didn't go permanently insane this time," she crossed her arms over her chest and looked up to him. "Oh hey, you are awake."

"Who are you and what do you want?!" Hazou demanded.

"Why, I am the Watcher Faerie, of course. And I came to exchange some of your sealing related mental trauma for candy," she replied and held out a lollipop that was larger than herself. "Go on, take it."

Hazou nodded to himself. It was a reasonable explanation, all things considered. Which is why he answered in an equally reasonabe manner by flicking the fairie off his chest and into the nearest wall.

Unfortunately for him, wanton violence did not completely resolve the issue this time and said faerie exploded into a cloud of smoke. A middle aged man stepped out of it and scowled at Hazou. "That was rude, you know."

"What."

"Let me introduce myself: I am Watcher Tōsatsu and I came to warn you abo--"

"Wait, back up a minute. How did you change your form from a 'faerie' to this?"

Tōsatsu sniffed at being interrupted. "This technique is called Henge and it lets you change you form at will. How do you not know this? Last I checked that technique was being taught to ninja children all over the Elemental Nations."

Hazou stared at him in disbelief. "A likely story! A technique like that sounds way too powerful and convenient to exist. I mean, have you thought about the repercussions of being able to impersonate anyone you want, change your size and mass at will? And taught to irresponsible children of all people. Ridiculous!"

"Really? You genuinely can't perform Henge? Hmm," Tōsatsu pulled out a notebook from his pocket and started flipped through it. "Tell me, did Keiko take over the world yet?"

"...No? I mean, probably not. I haven't seen her for a few hours but..."

Tōsatsu nodded to himself flipped to a different page. "I guess the Sandaime Hokage didn't choke on a pretzel either?"

"No, he got killed in a battle with the Sandaime Mizukage and Akatsuki."

"Ah, I see now," Tōsatsu closed the notebook and pocketed it again. "We are in Aberrant Timeline Four. Yeah okay. We took Henge away here. Sucks to be you, really."

Back up a minute. There were multiple timelines and these strange people could just decide to take away techniques at the drop of a hat? What insanity was this?

"So anyway, as I was saying before you interrupted me: I came here to talk to you about your stupid attempts at trying to break the world, deliberately or not. Please stop doing it. We Watchers are quite attached to being alive and existing in exactly three dimensions."

"What if I keep doing it anyway and tell everyone about you?"

"You don't have a choice in the matter because you aren't going to remember our meeting anyway," Tōsatsu replied. Then he pulled out a long stick from Sage knows where. "Allow me to demonstrate to you our very sophisticated Forget Me technique, passed down from generation to generation of Watchers."

Hazou had a feeling he knew exactly how this technique worked. Just as he had a feeling that the first Watcher to invent this technique had probably lived in a cave and had been named Ug.

Still, if Watchers were as powerful as Hazou thought they were, he had to buy some time to do… well, something. He mentally shrugged, that'd be a problem Future Hazou and not Present Hazou.

"Wait! How do I even know any of this real? This could all be in my head! And you never even explained why you called yourself the Watchers."

Tōsatsu gave him a bland stare, stick momentarily forgotten. "It's literally in our name. The Watchers. We watch things. All the things."

Hazou pulled the blanket closer on himself and made a disgusted face.

"Oh relax, you are completely missing the point. Plus, you aren't really my type anyway. And to answer your other question: Of course it's all in your head! Where else would it be? It's how we experience reality. In fact, the whole reason I am here is that you overdosed on reality during your summoning scroll stunt to begin with."

"Yeah, well, if you watch everything then tell me this: what did I have for breakfast two days ago?" Hazou challenged.

Tōsatsu consulted his notebook again. "Trick question: you skipped breakfast."

Sage damn it. That was either a really good guess or the Watchers really was a club of bored voyeurs. Highly advanced voyeurs but voyeurs nonetheless.

"Now hold still and lets get this over with. I promise you will barely feel a thing. Why, once you wake up the only evidence of me being here will be an intense pain whenever you think about studying summoning scrolls again," Tōsatsu continued. "Well, and some general pain because of the head trauma from the stick, obviously."

Hazou opened his mouth but Tōsatsu held out a hand. "And no, you cannot break genjutsu by thinking about the scrolls either. That'd be stupid."

And wasn't this a convenient solution to gently nudge sealmasters away from a dangerous research topic?

Hazou's eyes widened in realization. "Wait a minute. How often have we met this way?!"

"..."

"..."

"Well, will you look at the time. I really should go before the One Who Remembers checks up on you. Now that guy is batshit crazy, I tell you. I'd tell you to stop associating with him but it's not like you will remember anyway.

"In fact, forget about the stick. We'll alter your memory remotely after all!"

Tōsatsu nodded to Hazou, threw some candy at his head and then promptly ran against the wall opposite of Hazou. "Ow."

"Wow, you kinda suck at being a ninja."

"Yeah, well, shut up." Tōsatsu said defensively.

Then he jumped again, this time actually choosing the wall that had the opened window in it and disappeared for good.

-o-o-o​

Unnoticed by Hazou, Mari exited the room with a smile on her face. Carte blanche to do whatever she wanted, huh? Sure, it was a technicality and she was certain that this referred to clanless housing but was it her fault that Hazou had been ambiguous about the phrasing? And it would serve him well to have his rules lawyering turned back on him for once, she was certain.

Plus this had been way too much fun to pass up on.
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Bravo! Threadmarked so hard.

Tua said:
the One Who Remembers
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@faflec ! Paging Dr faflec!

This one in particular cracked me up:
Tua said:
"...No? I mean, probably not. I haven't seen her for a few hours but..."
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Tua said:
reasonabe
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Tua said:
We Watchers are quite attached to being alive and existing in exactly three dimensions.
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Shouldn't it be four? (Time)

Tua said:
any of this real?
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eaglejarl said:
To be clear, you're looking for the Fire Yakuza and asking them to take a message to the Mist Yakuza.

Separately, as your highest priority after the sealing failure is dealt with, you want to contract with the (presumably Mist?) Yakuza to sell salt and ice in Mist.

There is not mention of selling ice or salt in Fire, so presumably that's not a thing you want to do.
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Wait, what? That's like contacting the Bloods and asking them to take a message to the Crips.
 
Oneiros said:
  • Watchers
    • Technically we weaponized a sealing failure so if they exist they might pay us a visit
    • Make camp in sky towers so they can't just waltz up and murder us
      • Follow OPSEC in regards to skywalkers
    • Leave a sign on the sky tower explaining it was an accident and we respect the work they are doing.
      • We wouldn't be opposed to working with them
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If the Watchers exist, they would almost certainly know that the sealing failure was an accident; if they come to kill us for it (or for developing superweapons), this message wouldn't stop them. If we want to survive, we should write something unexpected but intriguing, perhaps hinting at our interuniversal status in a plausibly-deniable way.

Not sure what to write, though.
 
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eaglejarl said:
No one in the group (including Naruto) knows a jutsu suitable for making delicate carvings (e.g. signs) in granite. Before you ask: Rasengan isn't a precision instrument.
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Hmmm. I guess we'll have to leave a less subtle sign that the Goketsu were here.

Reduce the granite to rubble with tons of explosives. :V

Edit:
For the record, I'm also against teaching Naruto PCJ until he officially becomes Goketsu. Fine with talking to him about it though.
 
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