Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

[hYGP]

Very specifically addressed:

Click to shrink...

I'm not talking about Shikamaru puppetting Ito to put Ito's kunai to Ito's neck; Shikamaru doesn't have enough fine motor control over Ito to do that. I'm talking about Shikamaru getting a kunai out, as Ito remains openhanded because he has too much self control, physically walking up to Ito, and then putting the kunai to Ito's neck, as Ito remains helpless to do anything but mirror the actions without a kunai in his hand.

 

[Emstar]

It is, although how do you propose we find suitable bodies?

Click to shrink...

After a few dozen till-n-fills we'll eventually find a dead village.

Alternatively we can go through Orochimaru's trash bin.

I'm not talking about Shikamaru puppetting Ito to put Ito's kunai to Ito's neck; Shikamaru doesn't have enough fine motor control over Ito to do that. I'm talking about Shikamaru getting a kunai out, as Ito remains openhanded because he has too much self control, physically walking up to Ito, and then putting the kunai to Ito's neck, as Ito remains helpless to do anything but mirror the actions without a kunai in his hand.

Click to shrink...

He still has those blade thingies swirling around him doesn't he?

 

[faflec]

I'm not talking about Shikamaru puppetting Ito to put Ito's kunai to Ito's neck; Shikamaru doesn't have enough fine motor control over Ito to do that. I'm talking about Shikamaru getting a kunai out, as Ito remains openhanded because he has too much self control, physically walking up to Ito, and then putting the kunai to Ito's neck, as Ito remains helpless to do anything but mirror the actions without a kunai in his hand.

Click to shrink...

SHIKAMARU: That sounds troublesome. I had to fight Ito every step I took; if he'd broke free I would be in so much more trouble if I put myself close to him. Also, holding a kunai to his neck sounds like a lot of work, I'd rather take a couple of bows.

 

[hYGP]

After a few dozen till-n-fills we'll eventually find a dead village.

Alternatively we can go through Orochimaru's trash bin.


He still has those blade thingies swirling around him doesn't he?

Click to shrink...

So he does! Objection retracted, proof that Shikamaru has a vindictive streak downgraded slightly

 

[Emstar]

So he does! Objection retracted, proof that Shikamaru has a vindictive streak downgraded slightly

Click to shrink...

Also I don't think Shikamaru is much of a CQC guy. In case the guy suddenly breaks out or something.

Taijutsu practice is such a drag, yknow?

 

[TaliesinSkye]

After a few dozen till-n-fills we'll eventually find a dead village.

Click to shrink...

I don't know what the disappearance rate is on villages, but I doubt it's anywhere near that high or humanity would have died out long ago. The average village needs to last at least a few generations. The odds of showing up within a few days of an attack are very low. Longer than that and the corpse will be too obviously decomposed.

I think our only viable option would be making friends at various morgues in Fire to seal away promising corpses that don't have claimants. If we cover the morgues in all the major settlements we can probably get a corpse or two. Most kids will be claimed by someone though, and I'm not particularly willing to steal corpses from bereaved loved ones.

 

[PurposefulZephyr]

As far as interesting things to keep on hand: we should always have at least half a dozen dead bodies on hand. These should have disguises pre-applied and be of similar build to us.

Click to shrink...

Now where would you get bodies like those?
Guess Yakuza could lend some assistance, actually.
Drop off some of the side-products to us. Double payment if it's still fresh!

Unless we just pick up dead kids off the streets.
Grieving mother: NO! TIMMY! WHyyyyy! *sob*
Hazo: Oh! What's that? A dead body, of a kid in my age.
Grieving mother: You look just like my son... *sniff*
Hazo: Yes! It's just perfect.
Grieving mother: What?!
Hazo: *takes out clothes and disguise kit* It just needs a few improvements...
Grieving mother: What.
Hazo: There! Perfect! No one will know the difference. *stores the dead body*
Grieving mother: What.
Hazo: I technically have three already, but you can never have enough! Thank you for your labor, madam! *leaves*
Grieving mother: Oh god Timmy. *sobs more*

 

[TaliesinSkye]

Now where would you get bodies like those?
Guess Yakuza could lend some assistance, actually.
Drop off some of the side-products to us. Double payment if it's still fresh!

Unless we just pick up dead kids off the streets.
Grieving mother: NO! TIMMY! WHyyyyy! *sob*
Hazo: Oh! What's that? A dead body, of a kid in my age.
Grieving mother: You look just like my son... *sniff*
Hazo: Yes! It's just perfect.
Grieving mother: What?!
Hazo: *takes out clothes and disguise kit* It just needs a few improvements...
Grieving mother: What.
Hazo: There! Perfect! No one will know the difference. *stores the dead body*
Grieving mother: What.
Hazo: I technically have three already, but you can never have enough! Thank you for your labor, madam! *leaves*
Grieving mother: Oh god Timmy. *sobs more*

Click to shrink...

Well, that's a new ending for the dark timeline in A Christmas Carol.

 

[eaglejarl]

The max dimensions for the ones we have are 1m^3 volumetrically IIRC?

Click to shrink...

There's a little flex -- the object's total volume can't be more than 1m^3, but it doesn't need to fit completely into a 1m x 1m x 1m cube. That said, you can't seal a 1cm x 1cm x 1000km rod. And no, Hazō doesn't know the exact limits and they probably vary slightly from use to use.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

There's a little flex -- the object's total volume can't be more than 1m^3, but it doesn't need to fit completely into a 1m x 1m x 1m cube. That said, you can't seal a 1cm x 1cm x 1000km rod. And no, Hazō doesn't know the exact limits and they probably vary slightly from use to use.

Click to shrink...

"Hazou, what's this request on my desk for an absurdly long telescoping rod?"
"Well, the rod I have isn't long enough."
"Ah. Don't worry my boy, we've got medicine for that."
"Wait, what?"

 

[PurposefulZephyr]

Well, that's a new ending for the dark timeline in A Christmas Carol.

Click to shrink...

Ghostly!Hazo: I am the Ghost of Sagemas Yet to Come!
Timmy: Why do you look like me, but a ninja?
Ghostly!Hazo: That's because I am a ninja!
Timmy: Oh, cool. That's not bad, right?
Ghostly!Hazo: Not bad for me. You will be dead though, and your body stored for future use *taps scroll*.

 

[eaglejarl]

I'm not talking about Shikamaru puppetting Ito to put Ito's kunai to Ito's neck; Shikamaru doesn't have enough fine motor control over Ito to do that. I'm talking about Shikamaru getting a kunai out, as Ito remains openhanded because he has too much self control, physically walking up to Ito, and then putting the kunai to Ito's neck, as Ito remains helpless to do anything but mirror the actions without a kunai in his hand.

Click to shrink...

Very specifically addressed:

[Shikamaru] tossed his fidget toy behind himself to free up his right hand so he could pull a kunai from his belt

Click to shrink...

[Ito said,] my Water Blades will keep you from getting close enough to do anything to me

Click to shrink...

 

[JustForThis]

Hey, thread...peoples. Of the internet.

I started rereading this a while ago and decided to make notes this time. I'm probably going to be too busy to finish (and at some point I realized I'd stopped making notes so I could read faster; this is some really good writing) so I thought I'd post what I had so far.

• We still don't know what was in the swamp that was pushing alpha predators out of their natural hunting zones.
  • This seems likely to be a plot hook into the background plot (especially considering that there were zetsu in said swamp) that was never used due to us leaving the swamp.
  • Is zetsu a proper noun? It's sometimes used as a name, and sometimes used as a species. This is why you don't name your dog Dog.
• Ch 13: Noburi thought with more skill he'd be able to drain the water chakra from water clones to recycle it into some other technique.
  • Did anything ever happen with this? If this is possible, why isn't he spamming the crap out of clones now that he's more skilled at VD?
• Ch 17: Just a reminder that there was a genjutsu using bird called an "Eyestealer", that's described as "a red-eyed crow". Either masterful QM trolling, or a plot hook.
  • These were mentioned again recently. I forgot where, but I think it was sometime since chapter 230. We should probably tug on the plot hook that keeps coming up.
• Inoue's eyes: Green, gray, now blue.
  • We still don't know what's up with that. Maybe get Hazou to ask Jiraya since he's her husband and might know. (OOC, the hivemind knows Jiraya knows from that one interlude).
• Why pangolin's can sense and hate the mori voice:
  • It'd be really nice to get some answers here, but I don't know if Hazou even knows about this, so I don't think we even have a lever to do anything about it. It'd also be interesting to know what the toads think.
• VHitM: blessed by the thousand worlds. Do the pangolin know anything about that? Useful info or just religious nonsense? I remember there being a thing about seven paths (planes of existence), but I don't remember if that's been mentioned in MfD.
  • When VHitM comes out to interact with the larger world, the main concern shouldn't be political, or that they might destabilize the power balance between the rest of the world. It's that every single one of them knows apocalypse no jutsu, and that could spread. We...should probably start talking about how to deal with that, especially since I don't think Hazou realizes this yet.
• Kagome: The intellect inside all of chakra/death.
  • We should ask Jiraya, Tsunade, or the pangolins/toads what they think about this.
  • I remember that Keiko asked the pangolin's about death, and the response was basically "Is bad. Don't touch.", but we got no real information. What about the toads?
  • On scorch squads: "Scorch squads though, yeah. Bad people. They must have sent them to the seal division to have their brains eaten so their eyes would look like that."
    • Eye look like what? According to him, they're supposedly normal ninja, why do their eyes look like anything special? Is Kagome getting two groups mixed up, or otherwise incorrectly inferring from incomplete information?
• We should probably ask Jiraya if it's possible to hack MEW into producing real metal instead of real granite. Then A specific type of metal. Then gold.
  • Jiraya and Hazou are the only ones in the clan with earth element, and since Hazou can't technique hack, that leaves Jiraya, the perpetually busy Hokage, starting Hazou on learning technique hacking and abandoning sealing for a while, or adopting someone into the clan who knows both earth element and hacking.
  • This would make us no longer dependent on pangolin gold, and wouldn't cause any more inflation on the local (read Konohana and the elemental nations) economy than accepting the pangolin gold, since pangolin gold was brought in from completely outside the EN economy just like jutsu spawned gold would be.

Thoughts?

 

[Emstar]

Ch 13: Noburi thought with more skill he'd be able to drain the water chakra from water clones to recycle it into some other technique.

• Did anything ever happen with this? If this is possible, why isn't he spamming the crap out of clones now that he's more skilled at VD?

Click to shrink...

I suspect it will be a hundred more chapters before we make use of this in a meaningful way.

Inoue's eyes: Green, gray, now blue.

• We still don't know what's up with that. Maybe get Hazou to ask Jiraya since he's her husband and might know. (OOC, the hivemind knows Jiraya knows from that one interlude).

Click to shrink...

Yeah that one's still a mystery.

We should probably ask Jiraya if it's possible to hack MEW into producing real metal instead of real granite. Then A specific type of metal. Then gold.

• Jiraya and Hazou are the only ones in the clan with earth element, and since Hazou can't technique hack, that leaves Jiraya, the perpetually busy Hokage, starting Hazou on learning technique hacking and abandoning sealing for a while, or adopting someone into the clan who knows both earth element and hacking.
• This would make us no longer dependent on pangolin gold, and wouldn't cause any more inflation on the local (read Konohana and the elemental nations) economy than accepting the pangolin gold, since pangolin gold was brought in from completely outside the EN economy just like jutsu spawned gold would be.

Click to shrink...

I think we're just going to make seals that will aid us in the production of literal hundreds of tons of salt, which we will sell to the Yakuza and other merchants internationally (at great speed) to crash the continental salt market and make us filthy rich.

(This helps out all of the peasants too since they all have dirt cheap preservatives once every merchant everywhere realizes that every other country now also has a stupid amount of salt.)

This seems decently easier than learning how to technique hack and then making something that conjures gold out of thin air. (Even counting the fact that I said the words "We'll figure it out with sealing." which contributes some doubt on how "easy" it will be. )


E: Overall though I too want to get to the bottom of some of those mysteries.

And also figure out what the fuck is in Bear and what the fuck happened to Whirlpool and what the hell is going on outside of this continent.

 

[OliWhail]

Hey, thread...peoples.

Click to shrink...

Welcome!

 

[eaglejarl]

Hey, thread...peoples. Of the internet.

I started rereading this a while ago and decided to make notes this time. I'm probably going to be too busy to finish (and at some point I realized I'd stopped making notes so I could read faster; this is some really good writing) so I thought I'd post what I had so far.

• We still don't know what was in the swamp that was pushing alpha predators out of their natural hunting zones.
  • This seems likely to be a plot hook into the background plot (especially considering that there were zetsu in said swamp) that was never used due to us leaving the swamp.
  • Is zetsu a proper noun? It's sometimes used as a name, and sometimes used as a species. This is why you don't name your dog Dog.
• Ch 13: Noburi thought with more skill he'd be able to drain the water chakra from water clones to recycle it into some other technique.
  • Did anything ever happen with this? If this is possible, why isn't he spamming the crap out of clones now that he's more skilled at VD?
• Ch 17: Just a reminder that there was a genjutsu using bird called an "Eyestealer", that's described as "a red-eyed crow". Either masterful QM trolling, or a plot hook.
  • These were mentioned again recently. I forgot where, but I think it was sometime since chapter 230.
• Inoue's eyes: Green, gray, now blue.
  • We still don't know what's up with that. Maybe get Hazou to ask Jiraya since he's her husband and might know. (OOC, the hivemind knows Jiraya knows from that one interlude).
• Why pangolin's can sense and hate the mori voice:
  • It'd be really nice to get some answers here, but I don't know if Hazou even knows about this, so I don't think we even have a lever to do anything about it. It'd also be interesting to know what the toads think.
• VHitM: blessed by the thousand worlds. Do the pangolin know anything about that? Useful info or just religious nonsense? I remember there being a thing about seven paths (planes of existence), but I don't remember if that's been mentioned in MfD.
  • When VHitM comes out to interact with the larger world, the main concern shouldn't be political, or that they might destabilize the power balance between the rest of the world. It's that every single one of them knows apocalypse no jutsu, and that could spread. We...should probably start talking about how to deal with that, especially since I don't think Hazou realizes this yet.
• Kagome: The intellect inside all of chakra/death.
  • We should ask Jiraya, Tsunade, or the pangolins/toads what they think about this.
  • I remember that Keiko asked the pangolin's about death, and the response was basically "Is bad. Don't touch.", but we got no real information. What about the toads?
  • On scorch squads: "Scorch squads though, yeah. Bad people. They must have sent them to the seal division to have their brains eaten so their eyes would look like that."
    • Eye look like what? According to him, they're supposedly normal ninja, why do their eyes look like anything special? Is Kagome getting two groups mixed up, or otherwise incorrectly inferring from incomplete information?
• We should probably ask Jiraya if it's possible to hack MEW into producing real metal instead of real granite. Then A specific type of metal. Then gold.
  • Jiraya and Hazou are the only ones in the clan with earth element, and since Hazou can't technique hack, that leaves Jiraya, the perpetually busy Hokage, starting Hazou on learning technique hacking and abandoning sealing for a while, or adopting someone into the clan who knows both earth element and hacking.
  • This would make us no longer dependent on pangolin gold, and wouldn't cause any more inflation on the local (read Konohana and the elemental nations) economy than accepting the pangolin gold, since pangolin gold was brought in from completely outside the EN economy just like jutsu spawned gold would be.

Thoughts?

Click to shrink...

Welcome back! Nice to see you again, and thank you for the kind words.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

Welcome!

It'd be really nice to get some answers here, but I don't know if Hazou even knows about this, so I don't think we even have a lever to do anything about it. It'd also be interesting to know what the toads think.

Click to shrink...

Pretty sure Keiko reported this to the party, so we could follow up on it in character. I'd very much like to ask Pandaa, and I've advocated for it before. He'd be the least likely to get horribly offended over unknown cultural differences. We could also ask the Toads about the Mori voice. Or hell, Katsuyu if Tsunade doesn't mind. Katsuyu is really laid back.

When VHitM comes out to interact with the larger world, the main concern shouldn't be political, or that they might destabilize the power balance between the rest of the world. It's that every single one of them knows apocalypse no jutsu, and that could spread. We...should probably start talking about how to deal with that, especially since I don't think Hazou realizes this yet.

Click to shrink...

What jutsu is this?

On scorch squads: "Scorch squads though, yeah. Bad people. They must have sent them to the seal division to have their brains eaten so their eyes would look like that."

• Eye look like what? According to him, they're supposedly normal ninja, why do their eyes look like anything special? Is Kagome getting two groups mixed up, or otherwise incorrectly inferring from incomplete information?

Click to shrink...

Maybe he just meant a particularly vacant look, and not like glowing eyes or something?

 

[faflec]

What jutsu is this?

Click to shrink...

Elemental Mastery, most likely.

 

[Emstar]

What jutsu is this?

Click to shrink...

A lot of them know Elemental Mastery.

Elemental Mastery allows you to raise/lower the temperature of a certain area very cheaply compared to how much chakra it costs.

Training it up to a decent level would allow for hilariously OP world-ending level shenanigans.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

A lot of them know Elemental Mastery.

Elemental Mastery allows you to raise/lower the temperature of a certain area very cheaply compared to how much chakra it costs.

Training it up to a decent level would allow for hilariously OP world-ending level shenanigans.

Click to shrink...

Maybe if scaled it up arbitrarily large, but I doubt you can. Unless there's something I'm missing?

 

[Cariyaga]

Maybe if scaled it up arbitrarily large, but I doubt you can. Unless there's something I'm missing?

Click to shrink...

The user can raise or lower ambient temperature of a fixed area by up to 5 °C/level over the course of 2 rounds (a few seconds). The insides of objects and creatures are not affected directly. This can be used to create Aspects such as "Warm and Toasty", "Unpleasantly Hot", or "Painfully Cold."


The effect lasts as long as you concentrate, and for 10 minutes / level afterwards. Once the duration expires the temperature gradually drifts back to normal.


The AOE is 1 zone. You can center it floor(Aspect Bonus / 2) zones away.

Click to shrink...

 

[Shadowwarp]

Dunno how serious people are about this.

Click to shrink...

It's a lot of xp mang

 

[Inferno Vulpix]

Maybe if scaled it up arbitrarily large, but I doubt you can. Unless there's something I'm missing?

Click to shrink...

If you get it high enough to make the air really really cold, it starts doing weird things, which our resident physicists said involved tons of rain and hurricane-force winds and other funky but incredibly powerful shenanigans.

Elemental Mastery took its name to heart, showing absolute control over the elements, condensing the strength itself from the world, producing not just torrents but floods of water, inverted fires as if from hell itself, blended into needles by tornadoing winds. And each step still grew larger by more than the steps before, growing wide and tall and deep all as if they were all the same. And each time it happened the force became more self-sustaining, lasting under its own strength, and sustained even at ground level where the air starts warm.

Click to shrink...

Fortunately, no one knows that EM can be applied in this way (not even Hazou, he has no reason to suspect yet). Everyone in Hidden Mountain just thinks of it as an air conditioning jutsu and Akane might use it to heat or freeze things for fun and profit but it'd take Hazou's curious eye to figure out that things go bonkers when you level it enough.

Hey, thread...peoples. Of the internet.

I started rereading this a while ago and decided to make notes this time. I'm probably going to be too busy to finish (and at some point I realized I'd stopped making notes so I could read faster; this is some really good writing) so I thought I'd post what I had so far.

• We still don't know what was in the swamp that was pushing alpha predators out of their natural hunting zones.
  • This seems likely to be a plot hook into the background plot (especially considering that there were zetsu in said swamp) that was never used due to us leaving the swamp.
  • Is zetsu a proper noun? It's sometimes used as a name, and sometimes used as a species. This is why you don't name your dog Dog.
• Ch 13: Noburi thought with more skill he'd be able to drain the water chakra from water clones to recycle it into some other technique.
  • Did anything ever happen with this? If this is possible, why isn't he spamming the crap out of clones now that he's more skilled at VD?
• Ch 17: Just a reminder that there was a genjutsu using bird called an "Eyestealer", that's described as "a red-eyed crow". Either masterful QM trolling, or a plot hook.
  • These were mentioned again recently. I forgot where, but I think it was sometime since chapter 230. We should probably tug on the plot hook that keeps coming up.
• Inoue's eyes: Green, gray, now blue.
  • We still don't know what's up with that. Maybe get Hazou to ask Jiraya since he's her husband and might know. (OOC, the hivemind knows Jiraya knows from that one interlude).
• Why pangolin's can sense and hate the mori voice:
  • It'd be really nice to get some answers here, but I don't know if Hazou even knows about this, so I don't think we even have a lever to do anything about it. It'd also be interesting to know what the toads think.
• VHitM: blessed by the thousand worlds. Do the pangolin know anything about that? Useful info or just religious nonsense? I remember there being a thing about seven paths (planes of existence), but I don't remember if that's been mentioned in MfD.
  • When VHitM comes out to interact with the larger world, the main concern shouldn't be political, or that they might destabilize the power balance between the rest of the world. It's that every single one of them knows apocalypse no jutsu, and that could spread. We...should probably start talking about how to deal with that, especially since I don't think Hazou realizes this yet.
• Kagome: The intellect inside all of chakra/death.
  • We should ask Jiraya, Tsunade, or the pangolins/toads what they think about this.
  • I remember that Keiko asked the pangolin's about death, and the response was basically "Is bad. Don't touch.", but we got no real information. What about the toads?
  • On scorch squads: "Scorch squads though, yeah. Bad people. They must have sent them to the seal division to have their brains eaten so their eyes would look like that."
    • Eye look like what? According to him, they're supposedly normal ninja, why do their eyes look like anything special? Is Kagome getting two groups mixed up, or otherwise incorrectly inferring from incomplete information?
• We should probably ask Jiraya if it's possible to hack MEW into producing real metal instead of real granite. Then A specific type of metal. Then gold.
  • Jiraya and Hazou are the only ones in the clan with earth element, and since Hazou can't technique hack, that leaves Jiraya, the perpetually busy Hokage, starting Hazou on learning technique hacking and abandoning sealing for a while, or adopting someone into the clan who knows both earth element and hacking.
  • This would make us no longer dependent on pangolin gold, and wouldn't cause any more inflation on the local (read Konohana and the elemental nations) economy than accepting the pangolin gold, since pangolin gold was brought in from completely outside the EN economy just like jutsu spawned gold would be.

Thoughts?

Click to shrink...

I think the thing with Mari's eyes is a side-effect of Truth Lost in the Fog, but I don't think there's any concrete evidence for it. IIRC Mari doesn't remember her eyes ever being any other colour, which might correlate to how Truth Lost in the Fog steals her happy memories.

The battle plan I've been advocating for rare material extraction is to take Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifiers and go ham on them until we've got ones that filter ores like iron or gold out of the stone. There's actually a ton of stuff we can throw into this kind of design and a ton of accessible intermediary steps, so it sounds really viable as a long-term project.

 

[AlphaDelta]

I really like nested parens.

Click to shrink...

Related:

Apparently Shikamaru thinks in (Common (or some other dialect (though for the purposes of this joke, further specificity is (possibly) unnecessary (and this additional parenthetical is (probably) overkill)))) Lisp.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

How big is the 'fixed area' that elemental mastery affects? It must be bigger than I imagined. Something the size of a room or small house at 500 C or absolute zero would do weird things like solidifying air but I don't think it would do city leveling things, much less apocalypse things.

Related:

Apparently Shikamaru thinks in (Common (or some other dialect (though for the purposes of this joke, further specificity is (possibly) unnecessary (and this additional parenthetical is (probably) overkill)))) Lisp.

Click to shrink...

What, you don't?