Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Dissonance · Nov 18, 2018

Reaction post

Fun fact: a personal requirement for a reaction post is that I do it on my first read-through of a given chapter.

Velorien said:
Chapter 227: Questionable Gains, Unknown Losses

"Good morning, Keiko," Hazō said after receiving permission to enter. "Silk no. 2 this morning, is it?"

"Indeed," Keiko said while writhing in a ~~vaguely intriguing~~ way he hadn't thought human bodies could writhe. "I felt it would be best to slow my progress since I cannot anticipate what kind of strain tournament combat may inflict on my body. Will you excuse me for a second?"

Error. Brain.exe has crashed. Please wait for reboot.

Velorien said:
Hazō duly turned around. He couldn't help noticing a certain toy kitten occupying pride of place at the foot of Keiko's bed, but his missing-nin survival instinct advised him not to comment.

"Ah, much better. You may now resume socialisation."

Hazō turned to see Keiko rubbing her wrists, a smile of mild satisfaction on her face.

"You know, you've been doing that a lot lately."

"It is an energising part of my morning routine, and the sense of progression serves as additional incentive. While traditional katas have their place, they are much less effective at improving flexibility and encouraging creative thinking—not exactly areas of strength for the typical Mori."

Hazō raised his eyebrows at the name.

Keiko gave him a disparaging look.

"You know as well as I do that the Gōketsu name is no more than an expression of pragmatic loyalty and intent, Hazō. Twelve years of Mori life, followed by two years of varied levels of longing for the return of same, are hardly to be erased with a few months of power and safety purchased from a new overlord. I have intense personal loyalty for Team Uplift. I have some positive feelings towards Jiraiya, and I do not doubt that some of the affection he expresses for us is genuine. I equally do not doubt that he would kill any of us if he judged it sufficiently beneficial to Leaf. That is what it means to be Leaf's spymaster, and I believe we have had more than enough foreshadowing."

Sounds about right actually.
[jk] If there is no Leaf, nothing can be sufficiently beneficial to it. Execute Order 66.

Velorien said:
"Keiko…" Hazō whispered in horror.

Keiko put away the rope, then sat down on the bed. "I do not condemn him for this. You were never truly part of the Kurosawa Clan, Hazō, so you cannot understand that a core part of what we are is the kinslayer taboo, that which caused clans to come into existence in the first place. Our internal strife, though inescapable by virtue of our humanity, will never cross a certain line. Jiraiya is a common-born, an orphan even. Collectively, Leaf may be his precious family, but individually we are all pieces on the board. Again, I do not condemn him. He plays the game as it is intended to be played, and before I met you, I would have classified his objective as the best one could aspire to.

"Noburi, I should mention, can be expected to know all of this, though his coping mechanisms clearly differ."

Hazō forced himself to remember Akane's words. If he wanted to rebuild a bond of trust between himself and Keiko, he couldn't do it through confrontation. He couldn't try to batter down this wall of cynicism, only try to think of incentives for her to lower it herself.

Good. Gooooood.

Velorien said:
"So what do you propose we do, if the world is really that terrible?"

"Do? Why, exactly what we have been doing all along. We increase our value to Jiraiya, both as individuals and as the supporting pillars of his clan, which cannot be removed without endangering the entire structure. Already, he cannot eliminate us through legal means without a crippling blow to the clan's reputation, which in his mind would be a crippling blow to Leaf. He can have us assassinated while we are away on a mission, to be sure, or simply send us on one beyond our power to survive, but he cannot afford the personal loss of manpower. And by the time the clan has grown enough that we are replaceable, we will also have grown in value, such that our loss would remain a significant blow.

"Besides," she added with an ironic smile, "we could always turn missing-nin.

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaa
hahahahahahahaha
[endless cackling]

Velorien said:
"But all of this is preparation for the worst-case scenario. Realistically, as long as we watch our step and avoid any more killbox incidents, our removal will always be a significant net negative for Jiraiya and Leaf. For most of us, it should be easy to prove that we will not bring harm to the village either through negligence or through ill intent.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/list_of_burn_centres_in_the_elemental_nations

Velorien said:
"Do you understand now? I am a Mori who irreversibly betrayed her clan, first through obliviousness, then because they might not accept me if I returned, then through a mix of loyalty to you all and a simple desire for survival. I am additionally someone who became part of Team Uplift, and discovered that it was possible for me to give and receive acceptance, trust and even love without relying on Ami. I was given a purpose that both utilised and transcended my questionable skill set. There were also a certain someone's infectious ideals.

D'aww. Love you too, Keiko.

Velorien said:
"What has the utilitarian construct known as the 'Gōketsu Clan' added to that? Power? Money? Soft pillows and occasionally the Hokage's ear? What do any of those things have to do with who I am?"

Put that way, it sounded almost… not awful.

It also made Hazō ask questions of his own. What had he gained from the Gōketsu name? A secure compound with a decent sealing lab. Respect from others. A lot of money, more than he could ever have imagined during his Mist life. Great training and access to a rich variety of resources, including multiple libraries. Safety for himself and his loved ones (at least unless they went out on missions and ended up like Minami, or accidentally caused a war).

On reflection, being a Gōketsu was awesome.

But on further reflection, none of those things were about loyalty to the clan. If some mystical being were to retroactively devour the Gōketsu concept so that Hazō somehow kept all those good things without Jiraiya being involved in any way… how much would he care? And, having established that Mist sucked and Leaf had plenty of issues of its own, would he have any positive identity left that didn't relate to Team Uplift, Mum, or his personal interests and aspirations?

He'd never been a clan ninja, so he couldn't compare, but if Keiko considered herself a Mori with extra bits tacked on, and Gōketsu clanhood wasn't one of those bits except instrumentally, that did explain a few things.

Huh. Okay. I relate closer to Hazou here than Keiko. Family is whoever can tolerate you enough that you can afford to surround yourself with them rather than the clan you were born to. Blood of the covenant and all that.

Velorien said:
But Hazō hadn't actually come in here for a deeply depressing but thought-provoking discussion. That kind of conversation contained enough hidden traps to earn only a ten-minute rant from Kagome-sensei.

"Back on topic, Keiko, do you still want help with the escapology thing? I'm happy to tie you up any time you like."

Keiko gave him a look. "I noticed the way you were looking at me earlier, Hazō. Escapology is a fine art intended for evolved minds, not a way to sate your questionable predilections."

SNRRRRRK

Velorien said:
"I don't have any predilections!" Hazō exclaimed. "I was just impressed at your flexibility."

"Of course you were. Hazō, while I am entirely sympathetic to the suffering caused by your breakup, please understand that, even were I able to bypass my failings, I am not prepared to take Akane's place in helping you to pursue your fetishes."

Hahahahaa

Velorien said:
The image was mind-boggling, but also based on inaccurate assumptions. "Akane and I—"

"Hazō," Keiko interrupted. "As I have said before, I respect your right to keep your sexual fantasies private, and I am prepared to violently incapacitate you in order to continue to respect it. If you must pursue your specialised interests—"

"I will hurt you to keep your privacy." That's fucking beautiful. 5/7.

Velorien said:
She broke off thoughtfully.

"If I recall correctly, the Third Hokage banned Jiraiya's Five Kage of Icha Icha series after the third volume, with Mitarashi Anko said to own the only extant copies. But now that Jiraiya is the Hokage himself, perhaps you could persuade him to return them to circulation."

"But I really don't—"

"Should you choose to have that conversation with him, speak to me first, and I will compile a more extensive list of volumes which the literary world has been unjustly denied."

A QUEST! A QUEST FOR THE GALLANT YOUNG HERO! FOR HE SHALL TRAVEL FORTH AND DO BATTLE WITH THE MIGHTY RULER OF THIS LAND, AND RECLAIM WHAT HAS BEEN LOST, AND SHALL THEREAFTER BE GIVEN ALL THE REWARDS BEFIT A PRINCE!

Velorien said:
Great. Now Keiko thought he was some kind of… he didn't even know what it was called, but he was fairly sure he wasn't one. He made a note to avoid tying Keiko up in the future where possible.

Bah, just because you're into older women doesn't mean you can't tie up Keiko every now and then.

Velorien said:
"So did you come here for some other reason than to question the foundations of my identity and clumsily attempt to seduce me?"

"I wasn't trying to—oh, forget it. I actually wanted to consult you about that death glare thing you do. I might face somebody else who can do it in the tournament, or for that matter generally, and it would help if I could practice with you."

"You… are giving me free license to wield the blade of my will to sever the fragile threads the hold together your soul?" Keiko's smile grew fifty percent more evil.

Velorien said:
"Y-Yes?"

"Well. I must admit that I am hesitant to overuse my techniques lest it weaken my power to torment you, but on the other hand in light of recent events it does behove me to heighten and refine my powers anyway."

"Recent events?" Hazō asked warily.

"A surprise for you to look forward to." The sinister smile was still there. Hazō shivered.

"Oh. We've already started, haven't we?"

"You tell me, Hazō. Do you believe that if you left this very moment, it would save you from the fate you have chosen for yourself?"

Velorien said:
The amusement that had been dancing in Keiko's eyes took on sharp edges, as if he was looking into a house of mirrors of black ice, where every refracted angle showed him being broken in a different way. He was in a maze, not trapped but free to seek an exit, if he was prepared to cut off another part of him in order to take each step.

There was no pain, but each time he felt a little more empty. With every step, something that bound him to this world ceased to exist. The maze's exit, he realized, had been in front of him all along—he just needed to destroy enough of himself to fit through it.

"That should do," Keiko said. "How were the fruits of my practice?"

"Keiko," Hazō wheezed, "how long have you known genjutsu?"

"If only," she laughed. "I researched the matter, and most of it is utterly incompatible with my combat style.

"The principle, however, is the same. Sufficient raw fear will lead a target to fill in the blanks on their own initiative. It requires a certain kind of will, and a certain specialised form of body language."

"Huh. Is that something I could learn?"

I don't know Mr. Iron Nerve, can you learn body language?
*facepalm*

Velorien said:
"I doubt it." Keiko's eyes half-closed for a second in some uncertain negative emotion. "You have too much light in you. When you attempt to intimidate, it is through deception. You exaggerate or mislead, because fundamentally, you do not wish to destroy your enemies, merely to overcome them. You lack killing intent. I, on the other hand, need only to project what I am outwards. You could call it talent, if you were feeling cruel."

Point.

Velorien said:
"Don't argue with the self-loathing cynic," Hazō told himself. "Hearken to the wisdom of Akane. She knows what to do, at least more than you do."

"So is that how it works for everyone who does it the non-deceptive way?"

"Past a certain point," Keiko said. "I cannot speak beyond my own experience, except to say that I believe it to be the foundation of the jōnin aura."

"Which is what, exactly?"

Ooooh info

Velorien said:
"I have spoken to Jiraiya on the subject. The mechanism is not fully understood, and probably involves some combination of killing intent and chakra. If you have ever felt a jōnin intimidate you through their sheer presence, without any particular act or word, if the experience evoked in you an image or sensation uniquely associated with that individual, that is what elite shinobi colloquially refer to as a jōnin aura. Needless to say, I do not possess one, though with sufficient practice—which you have happily volunteered for—perhaps I might acquire it earlier than others."

This is what happened when Akane challenged Lady Aunt Sunny and felt a mountain fall on her.

Velorien said:
"Do you know what it'll be like?"

Keiko shrugged. "I imagine ice will be involved. It always is."

And mirrors.
What better to reflect your flaws than someone who could use every one to kill you?

Velorien said:
"So does that mean every jōnin we know can do it? Even Mari-sensei?"

"I asked her to release her full killing intent once so I could experience it. Never again."

"That bad?"

"If you can imagine being immersed in the absolute opposite of everything you are…" Keiko shuddered.

Heat? Passion?

Velorien said:
Was there any part of this conversation that wasn't going to swerve into frightening and/or depressing territory?

"Well," Hazō said, "I'm sure it won't be an issue. I won't disturb you any further so that you don't disturb me any further. But… I'm glad you remember the whole acceptance, trust and love thing. You deserve every bit of it. Honestly, with how strong you've become since we first met, in all the different ways, I dread to think what our tournament battle is going to be like."

"I… thank you, Hazō. Were it not deeply embarrassing, I imagine I could say much the same to you. However, it is, so kindly vacate the premises so that I may prepare to head out for the afternoon."

-o-

Kagome-sensei took three steps into the room before grabbing a kunai and leaping straight for Keiko's throat.

Uh.
Hm.

Velorien said:
"Stop!" Hazō yelled. "What is it this time, Kagome-sensei?"

"She was staring at me funny."

Uhh?

Velorien said:
"Keiko, were you in fact staring at him funny?"

"By no means. I was observing him in my peripheral vision while maintaining my focus on the main entrance."

"Exactly!" Kagome-sensei pointed an accusing finger at her. "You might as well have been shouting 'I'm a dirty backstabbing schmuck' at the top of your lungs."

Kagome-sawa?

Velorien said:
"Kagome," Noburi said patiently, "you're playing the role of a normal daimyo. That means you're only allowed to be as suspicious as a smart civilian."

Oh, one of those Civilians and ChakraMonsters games things.

Velorien said:
"I was exactly like a civilian," Kagome grumbled. "See, I didn't use explosive tags or anything."

"And the kunai?"

"Daimyo have those swords, right? For honourable suicide?"

Yes, Kagome. The world would, in fact, be a better place if politicians conducted Hara Kiri regularly.

Velorien said:
"Those are samurai," Hazō said, "and they only exist in fiction. Partly thanks to us."

New movie idea: The Last Samurai.
It's like The Last Unicorn, but better.

Velorien said:
"Fine, whatever," Noburi said. "Let's pretend you got past Keiko without doing anything crazy. Here's what you see."

Noburi slid over to the table where Hazō was already sitting. "I raise, my good man. I've got a good feeling about this hand."

OHHH! YAKUZA POKER TRAINING
nice

Velorien said:
"Oh, really? Then I raise too. I hope you enjoy having your coffers emptied."

:|
Hazo.
Hazo pls.
~~although tbf I think Noburi's was more rigid but~~

Velorien said:
"Let's go!"

行こう！
リンク開始!

Velorien said:
Noburi put down a straight. Hazō had one pair.

"Oh, dear, won't be able to afford that castle for much longer, will we?"

"We'll just see about that!" Hazō growled. During the next round, he managed to get another pair versus Noburi's four of a kind. "Again!"

"Sorry, old boy," Noburi winked. "If I don't stop now, I won't be able to carry all this money back to my lodgings. Better luck next time."

"old boy" sounds British. TIL the EN has a British accent/language usage equivalent.

Velorien said:
"You get back here, you scoundrel!"

"Kagome, that's your cue," Noburi whispered.

Kagome-sensei swaggered up to the table. It looked like the waddling of an overweight penguin, but points for effort.

"Hello there. I am extremely rich but don't have the common sense of a magpie, and can't tell from your expression that you're up to no good. Let me stake my money on drawing better cards than you."

*facepalm*
Kagome literally has Deceit at level 0, doesn't he?

Velorien said:
"That's… good," Hazō said. "Now you draw a good hand—we've stacked the deck for practice—and I'll get a bad one."

"What's a good hand?"

Uh.

Velorien said:
Hazō dropped his cards. "Do you not know how to play?"

Hm

Velorien said:
"Why should I? Waste of time. They could have all the private game nights they wanted. I'd be using the time for productive research."

"All right," Hazō said determinedly. "Let me start by drawing you up a chart."

"Hazō," Keiko said, "you do recall that Kagome will not be coming with us, and thus needs only to know enough to assist with the simulation?"

"Not now, Keiko," Hazō waved her away. "This man is ignorant of the rules of a game."

Velorien said:
-o-

The morning of departure had come. It was overcast, and, at this time of morning, pretty dark. However, Jiraiya had made it clear that they would not be late to Mist by so much as a minute, or he would personally hand the offender over to Hyūga Hiashi for use before the tournament began. (The fact that nobody could imagine what the "use" could possibly be made it only worse.)

A priest and a Hyuuga walk into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be, Father?"

Velorien said:
Right now, the Gōketsu Clan in its entirety (including Fifi, curled around Kagome's feet) was assembled in front of the compound gates, saying its farewells before setting off to join the main Leaf contingent at the village gate.

"Are you sure you've packed enough explosives?"

"There is no such thing as enough explosives," Hazō replied ritually.

"That's my apprentice. You go blow all the stinkers to pieces for me."

D'awwwww <3

HPMOR said:
And then his father had asked him: Do you think I bought you enough books? It was quite clear what answer Dad wanted to hear.

Harry's throat was hoarse, for some reason. "You can never have enough books," he recited the Verres family motto, and his father knelt down and gave him a quick, firm embrace. "But you certainly tried," Harry said, and felt himself choking up again. "It was a really, really, really good try."

Velorien said:
Jiraiya coughed meaningfully.

"But in a safe and rules-compatible way!"

"Good luck," Mari-sensei said in a whisper.

"Kick their asses or I'll kick yours," Tsunade added. "And take the herbal tea every day, because if you try to bring even one foreign disease back to Leaf, you'd better be ready to turn missing-nin all over again."

Well, Keiko probably has a contingency or three ready for that, given the conversation at the start of the chapter. NYEH!

Velorien said:
And then there was Akane. Akane who'd come over to speak to him personally while Noburi was busy getting the last of the bags and storage scrolls.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it," Hazō said with a smile.

"I could never miss my chance to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry if I've been a bit distant lately," Hazō said. "I know it wasn't fair on you. To tell you the truth, I only figured out about the breakup after, um, that… that training with Team Gai. Until then I thought it was just a fight. And it took the combined efforts of Noburi, Mari-sensei and Jiraiya to make me get it. So, um, sorry about that."

Akane, who'd been looking strangely melancholy, burst out laughing. "That is so… so you, Hazō. Not that I'm any better for not catching it!"

Hey, maybe this'll help. Instead of it being "oh woe is me I'm cast out" now she'll be more "oh, woe is me, Hazo was just being clueless... again."

Velorien said:
"But wait," she said. "if you didn't think we'd broken up, then why were you being distant?"

"Because I'm terrible at managing interpersonal conflict?"

*nods*

Velorien said:
"Oh, cool. That makes sense."

Hazō was a little miffed at the instant response, but he decided that the mature thing would be not to show it.

Good kid.

Velorien said:
"So," Hazō said awkwardly, "in the name of compensating for me being terrible at managing interpersonal conflict… is there anything that's bothering you? Because if you're ever unhappy with anything, I want to be there for you. Your feelings matter—not just to me, but all of us."

"Thanks, Hazō," Akane smiled, that melancholy touch back in her voice. "If I'm honest…"

She stopped.

"No. It's not important."

"Akane," Hazō said reproachfully. "If we're going to communicate, we need to communicate."

"It's really not important, and it probably won't matter for long anyway. For now, you need all your focus to be on the tournament. Can you do that for me?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AKANE'S GONNA CHALLENGE TSUNADE AND DIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Velorien said:
Hazō sighed. "Promise me that if it's still an issue when I get back, we'll talk about it then."

"I will do my best," Akane said seriously. "So, Hazō, you need to do your best as well."

SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE'LL LIVE AAAAAAAAA

Velorien said:
"I will."

"What's the hold-up?" Jiraiya called out. "We need to hurry up and be the Gone-ketsu!"

snrrrrrrrrrrrrrk
hahaha I fucking love it.
I can totally see Jiraiya doing dad-jokes.

JIRAIYA: *tells a dad-joke*
KEIKO: "I swear to Jashin if you say something that stupid one more time..."
JIRAIYA: "What, you'll go pretty damn far to stop me from doing it again?"

Velorien said:
Several people turned to stare at him in disbelief.

"So maybe I'm not at the top of my game in the early morning," Jiraiya muttered.

"Sorry," Akane said to Hazō. "I shouldn't be holding you back at a time like this."

"Don't worry about it. It's just Jiraiya worrying about clan prestige again. Listen, we should get moving, but I want you to know that it's good to have you with us again. Not just because you're a great person, but because I think it'll take all of us to help Mari-sensei, and I know I can count on you."

"I will do everything I can," Akane said.

"All right, in that case—what the?!"

As the Gōketsu travellers passed through the compound gates, they were met with a huge cheer. A crowd of civilians stood a respectful distance away, some of them waving banners with "Victory!" and similar slogans on them.

Nice!

Velorien said:
Hazō began to get a very bad feeling.

???

Velorien said:
"What is going on here?" Jiraiya demanded.

Uh. Oh.

Velorien said:
A man emerged from the crowd, gave Jiraiya a deep bow, then proceeded to walk right past him and to Keiko.

Oh. Oh yes.

Velorien said:
"Lady Gōketsu," he said in reverent tones, "please accept our humble wishes for your triumph at the Chūnin Exam Finals. Truly, we are in awe at the surpassing talent you have shown at your young age."

OH YES!

Velorien said:
Keiko stared at the man blankly.

He seemed to be prepared for that reaction. "We won't trouble you any further, Lady Gōketsu. All we wish is to present you with these gifts, which are filled with our love and appreciation, and will surely bring you good fortune on the battlefield."

YES!

Velorien said:
He waved a hand, and several burly men emerged from the crowd carrying an enormous box, which they placed carefully at Keiko's feet before giving her brief looks of admiration and retreating.

Hazō stepped towards Keiko and took a peek.

The majority of the gifts were good luck charms. Safe travel. Grow up a healthy child. Victory in battle. Grow tall. Then there were a few rather terrible portraits of Keiko (obviously drawn without her participation), made in charcoal, ink and embroidery. A blue and white scarf. A pair of wool gloves with snowflake patterns. No fewer than five black kitten toys. And that was just the top layer.

YES! THIS IS FANTASTIC! I LOVE IT!

Velorien said:
Keiko, the most amazing expression of confoundment on her face, turned helplessly to Mari-sensei.

Mari-sensei laughed for the first time in weeks.

<3

Velorien said:
"We'll hold on to those for you," she said in a quiet but clear voice.

Wait, she talked earlier, too.
I'm guessing Sunny Aunt Lady gave her a special dispensation to say farewells for this bit.

Velorien said:
Keiko nodded, but snatched the scarf and gloves out of the box before Kagome-sensei could start checking it for traps (which might involve some degree of disassembly).

"Disperse," the man shouted back to the crowd. "Sorry for taking up your time, Lady Gōketsu. We'll get out of your way now."

Velorien said:
"What just happened?" Keiko asked, finding her voice several seconds after the last well-wisher disappeared.

Noburi gave Hazō a suspicious look. "Is this another of your crazy schemes, Hazō?"

Uh......

Velorien said:
"No," Hazō said. "I can quite honestly say I didn't see that one coming."

I mean - we probably could've prevented this, but LOL, LIKE WE WOULD EVER DO THAT!

Velorien said:
"Every day," Jiraiya said, "I discover a new reason why I was crazy to adopt you people.

"Of course," he added, "every night Mari reminds me why it was the greatest idea of my life."

"Wedding within a week of your return," Tsunade snapped. "Or I invite Orochimaru and leave you to figure out how to get him in."

ALRIGHT, VIHH! ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS DELAY THE WEDDING FOR EIGHT DAYS AFTER WE GET BACK AND WE CAN TALK TO ORO-SAMA! YES!

Velorien said:
Jiraiya stared at her goggle-eyed for a second.

"I knew there was a reason I wanted to take a break from this madhouse.

"Come on, kids. Last one to the gate gets a double portion of Tsunade's herbal tea!"

Something Something congee?

Velorien said:
Hazō ran for his life, followed by Tsunade's creative curses, Kagome-sensei's yells of encouragement, and…

"No matter what we are, Hazō, remember that I love you!"

Oof.

Velorien said:
Hazō swore to do all of them proud.

-o-

You have received 3 +1 XP and 0 FP.

-o-

Kagome lectured you on rushing your work, sealing safety and sane time estimates when you so much as suggested trying to get some new research done before your departure.

Good Sensei.

Velorien said:
Your heist instructions were very vague, but you practised anyway. Keiko wrote down an estimate of your projected earnings, then rolled it up into a ball and threw it to Fifi to play with. Apparently, analysts don't like being asked to make predictions with too many variables and too little data. Fifi, on the other hand, eats financial estimates for breakfast. I also have no idea what you meant by practising bribing the yakuza.

Your CHAOS preparations went fine, except that you have no access to noxious gas and Tunneller's Friend would have been the wrong seal anyway.

-o-

You are standing at the Leaf gates. It will take you two days of travel to reach Mist. You may use the journey time as you will, or skip it entirely.

What do you do?

Voting ends on Wednesday 21st of November, 12 p.m. London time.

[jk] Run West. I hear Bear is nice this time of year.

Thank you for the chapter, @Velorien.

Emstar · Nov 18, 2018

Velorien said:
Chapter 227: Questionable Gains, Unknown Losses

"Good morning, Keiko," Hazō said after receiving permission to enter. "Silk no. 2 this morning, is it?"

"Indeed," Keiko said while writhing in a ~~vaguely intriguing~~ way he hadn't thought human bodies could writhe. "I felt it would be best to slow my progress since I cannot anticipate what kind of strain tournament combat may inflict on my body. Will you excuse me for a second?"

Hazō duly turned around. He couldn't help noticing a certain toy kitten occupying pride of place at the foot of Keiko's bed, but his missing-nin survival instinct advised him not to comment.

"Ah, much better. You may now resume socialisation."

Hazō turned to see Keiko rubbing her wrists, a smile of mild satisfaction on her face.

"You know, you've been doing that a lot lately."

"It is an energising part of my morning routine, and the sense of progression serves as additional incentive. While traditional katas have their place, they are much less effective at improving flexibility and encouraging creative thinking—not exactly areas of strength for the typical Mori."

Hazō raised his eyebrows at the name.

Keiko gave him a disparaging look.

"You know as well as I do that the Gōketsu name is no more than an expression of pragmatic loyalty and intent, Hazō. Twelve years of Mori life, followed by two years of varied levels of longing for the return of same, are hardly to be erased with a few months of power and safety purchased from a new overlord. I have intense personal loyalty for Team Uplift. I have some positive feelings towards Jiraiya, and I do not doubt that some of the affection he expresses for us is genuine. I equally do not doubt that he would kill any of us if he judged it sufficiently beneficial to Leaf. That is what it means to be Leaf's spymaster, and I believe we have had more than enough foreshadowing."

"Keiko…" Hazō whispered in horror.

Keiko put away the rope, then sat down on the bed. "I do not condemn him for this. You were never truly part of the Kurosawa Clan, Hazō, so you cannot understand that a core part of what we are is the kinslayer taboo, that which caused clans to come into existence in the first place. Our internal strife, though inescapable by virtue of our humanity, will never cross a certain line. Jiraiya is a common-born, an orphan even. Collectively, Leaf may be his precious family, but individually we are all pieces on the board. Again, I do not condemn him. He plays the game as it is intended to be played, and before I met you, I would have classified his objective as the best one could aspire to.

"Noburi, I should mention, can be expected to know all of this, though his coping mechanisms clearly differ."

Hazō forced himself to remember Akane's words. If he wanted to rebuild a bond of trust between himself and Keiko, he couldn't do it through confrontation. He couldn't try to batter down this wall of cynicism, only try to think of incentives for her to lower it herself.

"So what do you propose we do, if the world is really that terrible?"

"Do? Why, exactly what we have been doing all along. We increase our value to Jiraiya, both as individuals and as the supporting pillars of his clan, which cannot be removed without endangering the entire structure. Already, he cannot eliminate us through legal means without a crippling blow to the clan's reputation, which in his mind would be a crippling blow to Leaf. He can have us assassinated while we are away on a mission, to be sure, or simply send us on one beyond our power to survive, but he cannot afford the personal loss of manpower. And by the time the clan has grown enough that we are replaceable, we will also have grown in value, such that our loss would remain a significant blow.

"Besides," she added with an ironic smile, "we could always turn missing-nin.

"But all of this is preparation for the worst-case scenario. Realistically, as long as we watch our step and avoid any more killbox incidents, our removal will always be a significant net negative for Jiraiya and Leaf. For most of us, it should be easy to prove that we will not bring harm to the village either through negligence or through ill intent.

Very ~~Kafkaesque~~ Keiko-esque worldview you have going on here, don't you Keiko? Well, I suppose I can't fault your endless pessimism too much at the moment. Incidentally, I am extremely happy with Hazou's tact displayed in this scene.

"Do you understand now? I am a Mori who irreversibly betrayed her clan, first through obliviousness, then because they might not accept me if I returned, then through a mix of loyalty to you all and a simple desire for survival. I am additionally someone who became part of Team Uplift, and discovered that it was possible for me to give and receive acceptance, trust and even love without relying on Ami. I was given a purpose that both utilised and transcended my questionable skill set. There were also a certain someone's infectious ideals.

"What has the utilitarian construct known as the 'Gōketsu Clan' added to that? Power? Money? Soft pillows and occasionally the Hokage's ear? What do any of those things have to do with who I am?"

Put that way, it sounded almost… not awful.

It also made Hazō ask questions of his own. What had he gained from the Gōketsu name? A secure compound with a decent sealing lab. Respect from others. A lot of money, more than he could ever have imagined during his Mist life. Great training and access to a rich variety of resources, including multiple libraries. Safety for himself and his loved ones (at least unless they went out on missions and ended up like Minami, or accidentally caused a war).

On reflection, being a Gōketsu was awesome.

But on further reflection, none of those things were about loyalty to the clan. If some mystical being were to retroactively devour the Gōketsu concept so that Hazō somehow kept all those good things without Jiraiya being involved in any way… how much would he care? And, having established that Mist sucked and Leaf had plenty of issues of its own, would he have any positive identity left that didn't relate to Team Uplift, Mum, or his personal interests and aspirations?

He'd never been a clan ninja, so he couldn't compare, but if Keiko considered herself a Mori with extra bits tacked on, and Gōketsu clanhood wasn't one of those bits except instrumentally, that did explain a few things.

But Hazō hadn't actually come in here for a deeply depressing but thought-provoking discussion. That kind of conversation contained enough hidden traps to earn only a ten-minute rant from Kagome-sensei.

Only enough traps to earn a ten minute rant. Must be enough social-pitfalls to social-kill young Hazou then. Best avoid!

"Back on topic, Keiko, do you still want help with the escapology thing? I'm happy to tie you up any time you like."

Keiko gave him a look. "I noticed the way you were looking at me earlier, Hazō. Escapology is a fine art intended for evolved minds, not a way to sate your questionable predilections."

"I don't have any predilections!" Hazō exclaimed. "I was just impressed at your flexibility."

"Of course you were. Hazō, while I am entirely sympathetic to the suffering caused by your breakup, please understand that, even were I able to bypass my failings, I am not prepared to take Akane's place in helping you to pursue your fetishes."

The image was mind-boggling, but also based on inaccurate assumptions. "Akane and I—"

"Hazō," Keiko interrupted. "As I have said before, I respect your right to keep your sexual fantasies private, and I am prepared to violently incapacitate you in order to continue to respect it. If you must pursue your specialised interests—"

She broke off thoughtfully.

"If I recall correctly, the Third Hokage banned Jiraiya's Five Kage of Icha Icha series after the third volume, with Mitarashi Anko said to own the only extant copies. But now that Jiraiya is the Hokage himself, perhaps you could persuade him to return them to circulation."

"But I really don't—"

"Should you choose to have that conversation with him, speak to me first, and I will compile a more extensive list of volumes which the literary world has been unjustly denied."

Great. Now Keiko thought he was some kind of… he didn't even know what it was called, but he was fairly sure he wasn't one. He made a note to avoid tying Keiko up in the future where possible.

So we're going to tie her up to defeat her in the tournament, right fam?

"So did you come here for some other reason than to question the foundations of my identity and clumsily attempt to seduce me?"

"I wasn't trying to—oh, forget it. I actually wanted to consult you about that death glare thing you do. I might face somebody else who can do it in the tournament, or for that matter generally, and it would help if I could practice with you."

"You… are giving me free license to wield the blade of my will to sever the fragile threads the hold together your soul?" Keiko's smile grew fifty percent more evil.

"Y-Yes?"

"Well. I must admit that I am hesitant to overuse my techniques lest it weaken my power to torment you, but on the other hand in light of recent events it does behove me to heighten and refine my powers anyway."

"Recent events?" Hazō asked warily.

"A surprise for you to look forward to." The sinister smile was still there. Hazō shivered.

"Oh. We've already started, haven't we?"

"You tell me, Hazō. Do you believe that if you left this very moment, it would save you from the fate you have chosen for yourself?"

The amusement that had been dancing in Keiko's eyes took on sharp edges, as if he was looking into a house of mirrors of black ice, where every refracted angle showed him being broken in a different way. He was in a maze, not trapped but free to seek an exit, if he was prepared to cut off another part of him in order to take each step.

There was no pain, but each time he felt a little more empty. With every step, something that bound him to this world ceased to exist. The maze's exit, he realized, had been in front of him all along—he just needed to destroy enough of himself to fit through it.

"That should do," Keiko said. "How were the fruits of my practice?"

"Keiko," Hazō wheezed, "how long have you known genjutsu?"

"If only," she laughed. "I researched the matter, and most of it is utterly incompatible with my combat style.

"The principle, however, is the same. Sufficient raw fear will lead a target to fill in the blanks on their own initiative. It requires a certain kind of will, and a certain specialised form of body language."

"Huh. Is that something I could learn?"

"I doubt it." Keiko's eyes half-closed for a second in some uncertain negative emotion. "You have too much light in you. When you attempt to intimidate, it is through deception. You exaggerate or mislead, because fundamentally, you do not wish to destroy your enemies, merely to overcome them. You lack killing intent. I, on the other hand, need only to project what I am outwards. You could call it talent, if you were feeling cruel."

I do not believe for a second that this is the sum-totality of the matter.

Even if Hazou does not possess (at the moment) the right mindset to will someone dead on the spot, I don't see why we can't just invent something similar for Hazou "I'm willing to go pretty damn far" Gouketsu.

We can probably just take a page out of Dresden's book.

Her Knight was currently trying to sit up, but his wrists and ankles were fastened to the floor by something cold, hard, and unseen. I tested them, but couldn't feel any edges. The bonds couldn't have been metal. And they weren't ice. I didn't know how I knew that, but I was completely certain. Ice would have been no obstacle. But there was something familiar about it, something I had felt before . . . in Chichen Itza.

Will.

-snip-
What held me down now was pure, undiluted will-the same kind of will that I suspected had backed up events presaged by phrases like "Let there be light." It was far more than human, beyond simple physical strength, and if I'd been the Incredible Hulk, I was pretty sure there was no way I'd have been able to tear myself free.

-snip-
A slow smile stretched my lips back from my teeth.

Mortals had the short end of the stick on almost any supernatural confrontation. Even most wizards, with their access to terrific forces, had to approach conflicts carefully-relatively few of us had the talents that lent themselves to brawling. But mortals had everyone else beat on exactly one thing: the freedom to choose. Free will.

It had taken me a while to begin to understand it, but it had eventually sunk into my thick skull. I couldn't arm wrestle an ogre, even with the mantle. I couldn't have won a magical duel with Mab or Titania-probably not even against Maeve or Lily. I couldn't outrun one of the Sidhe.

But I could defy absolutely anyone.

Or better yet, some sort of dizzying chaos aura of Trickster madness!

"Don't argue with the self-loathing cynic," Hazō told himself. "Hearken to the wisdom of Akane. She knows what to do, at least more than you do."

"So is that how it works for everyone who does it the non-deceptive way?"

"Past a certain point," Keiko said. "I cannot speak beyond my own experience, except to say that I believe it to be the foundation of the jōnin aura."

"Which is what, exactly?"

"I have spoken to Jiraiya on the subject. The mechanism is not fully understood, and probably involves some combination of killing intent and chakra. If you have ever felt a jōnin intimidate you through their sheer presence, without any particular act or word, if the experience evoked in you an image or sensation uniquely associated with that individual, that is what elite shinobi colloquially refer to as a jōnin aura. Needless to say, I do not possess one, though with sufficient practice—which you have happily volunteered for—perhaps I might acquire it earlier than others."

"Do you know what it'll be like?"

Keiko shrugged. "I imagine ice will be involved. It always is."

"So does that mean every jōnin we know can do it? Even Mari-sensei?"

"I asked her to release her full killing intent once so I could experience it. Never again."

"That bad?"

"If you can imagine being immersed in the absolute opposite of everything you are…" Keiko shuddered.

Was there any part of this conversation that wasn't going to swerve into frightening and/or depressing territory?

Nope!

This is apparently in the standard Jonin skillset, I guess?

We should ask Gai-sensei for a more youthful alternative. Surely he would know!

"Well," Hazō said, "I'm sure it won't be an issue. I won't disturb you any further so that you don't disturb me any further. But… I'm glad you remember the whole acceptance, trust and love thing. You deserve every bit of it. Honestly, with how strong you've become since we first met, in all the different ways, I dread to think what our tournament battle is going to be like."

"I… thank you, Hazō. Were it not deeply embarrassing, I imagine I could say much the same to you. However, it is, so kindly vacate the premises so that I may prepare to head out for the afternoon."

I am very proud of Hazou for ending this on a happy note. He is improving guys! This is great!!

-o-

Kagome-sensei took three steps into the room before grabbing a kunai and leaping straight for Keiko's throat.

"Stop!" Hazō yelled. "What is it this time, Kagome-sensei?"

"She was staring at me funny."

"Keiko, were you in fact staring at him funny?"

"By no means. I was observing him in my peripheral vision while maintaining my focus on the main entrance."

"Exactly!" Kagome-sensei pointed an accusing finger at her. "You might as well have been shouting 'I'm a dirty backstabbing schmuck' at the top of your lungs."

"Kagome," Noburi said patiently, "you're playing the role of a normal daimyo. That means you're only allowed to be as suspicious as a smart civilian."

"I was exactly like a civilian," Kagome grumbled. "See, I didn't use explosive tags or anything."

"And the kunai?"

"Daimyo have those swords, right? For honourable suicide?"

"Those are samurai," Hazō said, "and they only exist in fiction. Partly thanks to us."

"Fine, whatever," Noburi said. "Let's pretend you got past Keiko without doing anything crazy. Here's what you see."

Noburi slid over to the table where Hazō was already sitting. "I raise, my good man. I've got a good feeling about this hand."

"Oh, really? Then I raise too. I hope you enjoy having your coffers emptied."

"Let's go!"

Noburi put down a straight. Hazō had one pair.

"Oh, dear, won't be able to afford that castle for much longer, will we?"

"We'll just see about that!" Hazō growled. During the next round, he managed to get another pair versus Noburi's four of a kind. "Again!"

"Sorry, old boy," Noburi winked. "If I don't stop now, I won't be able to carry all this money back to my lodgings. Better luck next time."

"You get back here, you scoundrel!"

"Kagome, that's your cue," Noburi whispered.

Kagome-sensei swaggered up to the table. It looked like the waddling of an overweight penguin, but points for effort.

"Hello there. I am extremely rich but don't have the common sense of a magpie, and can't tell from your expression that you're up to no good. Let me stake my money on drawing better cards than you."

"That's… good," Hazō said. "Now you draw a good hand—we've stacked the deck for practice—and I'll get a bad one."

"What's a good hand?"

Hazō dropped his cards. "Do you not know how to play?"

"Why should I? Waste of time. They could have all the private game nights they wanted. I'd be using the time for productive research."

"All right," Hazō said determinedly. "Let me start by drawing you up a chart."

"Hazō," Keiko said, "you do recall that Kagome will not be coming with us, and thus needs only to know enough to assist with the simulation?"

"Not now, Keiko," Hazō waved her away. "This man is ignorant of the rules of a game."

It looks like our attempts at practicing this ruse were not the most efficient possible. It's a shame Mari is busy putting herself back together.

I must say I wholeheartedly agree with Hazou here though. You cannot be ignorant of the rules of a game!

-o-

The morning of departure had come. It was overcast, and, at this time of morning, pretty dark. However, Jiraiya had made it clear that they would not be late to Mist by so much as a minute, or he would personally hand the offender over to Hyūga Hiashi for use before the tournament began. (The fact that nobody could imagine what the "use" could possibly be made it only worse.)

OH FUCK ITS DEPARTURE TIME

Right now, the Gōketsu Clan in its entirety (including Fifi, curled around Kagome's feet) was assembled in front of the compound gates, saying its farewells before setting off to join the main Leaf contingent at the village gate.

"Are you sure you've packed enough explosives?"

"There is no such thing as enough explosives," Hazō replied ritually.

DAMN STRAIGHT, HAZOU!

DO NOT FORGET IT!

"That's my apprentice. You go blow all the stinkers to pieces for me."

Jiraiya coughed meaningfully.

"But in a safe and rules-compatible way!"

"Good luck," Mari-sensei said in a whisper.

"Kick their asses or I'll kick yours," Tsunade added. "And take the herbal tea every day, because if you try to bring even one foreign disease back to Leaf, you'd better be ready to turn missing-nin all over again."

Such a heartfelt goodbye scene. Now we only need to speak to Akane and have our tearful goodbye.

And then there was Akane. Akane who'd come over to speak to him personally while Noburi was busy getting the last of the bags and storage scrolls.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it," Hazō said with a smile.

"I could never miss my chance to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry if I've been a bit distant lately," Hazō said. "I know it wasn't fair on you. To tell you the truth, I only figured out about the breakup after, um, that… that training with Team Gai. Until then I thought it was just a fight. And it took the combined efforts of Noburi, Mari-sensei and Jiraiya to make me get it. So, um, sorry about that."

Akane, who'd been looking strangely melancholy, burst out laughing. "That is so… so you, Hazō. Not that I'm any better for not catching it!"

This is the greatest thing ever.

"But wait," she said. "if you didn't think we'd broken up, then why were you being distant?"

"Because I'm terrible at managing interpersonal conflict?"

"Oh, cool. That makes sense."

Hazō was a little miffed at the instant response, but he decided that the mature thing would be not to show it.

This is still the greatest thing ever!

YAHOOOOO! He's doing stuff perfectly! Yes yes yes!

"So," Hazō said awkwardly, "in the name of compensating for me being terrible at managing interpersonal conflict… is there anything that's bothering you? Because if you're ever unhappy with anything, I want to be there for you. Your feelings matter—not just to me, but all of us."

"Thanks, Hazō," Akane smiled, that melancholy touch back in her voice. "If I'm honest…"

She stopped.

"No. It's not important."

"Akane," Hazō said reproachfully. "If we're going to communicate, we need to communicate."

"It's really not important, and it probably won't matter for long anyway. For now, you need all your focus to be on the tournament. Can you do that for me?"

Hazō sighed. "Promise me that if it's still an issue when I get back, we'll talk about it then."

"I will do my best," Akane said seriously. "So, Hazō, you need to do your best as well."

"I will."

"What's the hold-up?" Jiraiya called out. "We need to hurry up and be the Gone-ketsu!"

Animated sweat drops for everyone!

Several people turned to stare at him in disbelief.

"So maybe I'm not at the top of my game in the early morning," Jiraiya muttered.

"Sorry," Akane said to Hazō. "I shouldn't be holding you back at a time like this."

"Don't worry about it. It's just Jiraiya worrying about clan prestige again. Listen, we should get moving, but I want you to know that it's good to have you with us again. Not just because you're a great person, but because I think it'll take all of us to help Mari-sensei, and I know I can count on you."

"I will do everything I can," Akane said.

"All right, in that case—what the?!"

Akatsuki attacks Orochimaru is here Akane is Zabuza battle stations at the ready CONSTANT VIGILANCE

As the Gōketsu travellers passed through the compound gates, they were met with a huge cheer. A crowd of civilians stood a respectful distance away, some of them waving banners with "Victory!" and similar slogans on them.

Hazō began to get a very bad feeling.

"What is going on here?" Jiraiya demanded.

A man emerged from the crowd, gave Jiraiya a deep bow, then proceeded to walk right past him and to Keiko.

"Lady Gōketsu," he said in reverent tones, "please accept our humble wishes for your triumph at the Chūnin Exam Finals. Truly, we are in awe at the surpassing talent you have shown at your young age."

SNERKEST OF SNERKS

So this is the punchline for that one, huh?

Keiko stared at the man blankly.

He seemed to be prepared for that reaction. "We won't trouble you any further, Lady Gōketsu. All we wish is to present you with these gifts, which are filled with our love and appreciation, and will surely bring you good fortune on the battlefield."

He waved a hand, and several burly men emerged from the crowd carrying an enormous box, which they placed carefully at Keiko's feet before giving her brief looks of admiration and retreating.

Hazō stepped towards Keiko and took a peek.

The majority of the gifts were good luck charms. Safe travel. Grow up a healthy child. Victory in battle. Grow tall. Then there were a few rather terrible portraits of Keiko (obviously drawn without her participation), made in charcoal, ink and embroidery. A blue and white scarf. A pair of wool gloves with snowflake patterns. No fewer than five black kitten toys. And that was just the top layer.

Keiko, the most amazing expression of confoundment on her face, turned helplessly to Mari-sensei.

Mari-sensei laughed for the first time in weeks.

"We'll hold on to those for you," she said in a quiet but clear voice.

The real cure for Mari was the Keiko's Merchant Fanclub Members that we made along the way!!!!!

It's so obvious now in retrospect. Why didn't we think of this!?

Keiko nodded, but snatched the scarf and gloves out of the box before Kagome-sensei could start checking it for traps (which might involve some degree of disassembly).

"Disperse," the man shouted back to the crowd. "Sorry for taking up your time, Lady Gōketsu. We'll get out of your way now."

"What just happened?" Keiko asked, finding her voice several seconds after the last well-wisher disappeared.

Noburi gave Hazō a suspicious look. "Is this another of your crazy schemes, Hazō?"

"No," Hazō said. "I can quite honestly say I didn't see that one coming."

Neither did I.

But if Keiko finds out we had but the smallest bit of participation in allowing this moment to come to pass, we might all be dead.

"Every day," Jiraiya said, "I discover a new reason why I was crazy to adopt you people.

"Of course," he added, "every night Mari reminds me why it was the greatest idea of my life."

"Wedding within a week of your return," Tsunade snapped. "Or I invite Orochimaru and leave you to figure out how to get him in."

@MadScientist

Shout out!

Jiraiya stared at her goggle-eyed for a second.

"I knew there was a reason I wanted to take a break from this madhouse.

"Come on, kids. Last one to the gate gets a double portion of Tsunade's herbal tea!"

Hazō ran for his life, followed by Tsunade's creative curses, Kagome-sensei's yells of encouragement, and…

"No matter what we are, Hazō, remember that I love you!"

Hazō swore to do all of them proud.

Oh fuck that last line.

Akane, right to the feelings.

Yeah, so obviously they're all going to die in the ensuing Akatsuki attack on Leaf, huh?

-o-

You have received 3 +1 XP and 0 FP.

-o-

Kagome lectured you on rushing your work, sealing safety and sane time estimates when you so much as suggested trying to get some new research done before your departure.

Your heist instructions were very vague, but you practised anyway. Keiko wrote down an estimate of your projected earnings, then rolled it up into a ball and threw it to Fifi to play with. Apparently, analysts don't like being asked to make predictions with too many variables and too little data. Fifi, on the other hand, eats financial estimates for breakfast. I also have no idea what you meant by practising bribing the yakuza.

Your CHAOS preparations went fine, except that you have no access to noxious gas and Tunneller's Friend would have been the wrong seal anyway.

-o-

You are standing at the Leaf gates. It will take you two days of travel to reach Mist. You may use the journey time as you will, or skip it entirely.

What do you do?

Voting ends on Wednesday 21st of November, 12 p.m. London time.

@Velorien

You are on a fucking roll this week! This is all fantastic and immensely enjoyable.

Hmmm. What should we do?

That's a good question.

Can anyone think of some stuff that we can do over the two days of travel? Make seals, obviously, but anything more than that?

TaliesinSkye · Nov 18, 2018

Immortal Lurker said:
Oh gosh, we've been idiots. What does Keiko actually want from being a Goketsu? What can we do to change what the clan does so that it resonates with Keiko as being important? There are lots of things about that she likes, such as personal safety, respect for her boundaries, and heaps of wealth and power. There are also lots of things about that she doesn't like, such as her hand in marriage getting sold and that she has to keep up the deal with the Pangolins.

Keiko deserves the clan putting effort into Keiko's goals and dreams.

Maybe we should ask Keiko if she wants to conspire to figure out some way to get Ami back? I can think of a few possible strategies. That is, if she wants Ami back, operating under her false belief that Ami wanted her to return to the family.

MadScientist · Nov 18, 2018

Immortal Lurker said:
Keiko deserves the clan putting effort into Keiko's goals and dreams.

Well, great. Now Hopes and Dreams is playing in my head. I hope you're happy.

Emstar · Nov 18, 2018

Briefvoice said:
This seems to be a QM response that happens every second or third plan. We really out to institute a "fresh eyes" protocol where someone who hasn't been participating in planning at all gets tagged in at the last 12 hours to look over a plan with fresh eyes and ask any, "What does this even mean?" questions.

Briefvoice said:
Actually... let me make this a formal proposal.

FRESH EYES PROTOCOL

In the ~12 hours after a new planning period begins, we post a "call for fresh eyes". These are people who, looking at their schedule, won't have time to participate in the thread much over the next voting period but do thing they have time for a single plan review right before voting should end. People respond to the post volunteering to be "fresh eyes". In the final 12 hours, anyone with an active plan (that is, they are still updating and have gotten a decent number of votes) can PM these volunteers and ask them to drop back into the thread and comment on any areas of the plan whose meaning seems unclear.

We actually had a "Mad-Eye Moody Simulator" thing that we instituted but I suppose couldn't be assed to keep to it. We should go back to doing that.

Dissonance · Nov 18, 2018

Briefvoice said:
Actually... let me make this a formal proposal.

FRESH EYES PROTOCOL

In the ~12 hours after a new planning period begins, we post a "call for fresh eyes". These are people who, looking at their schedule, won't have time to participate in the thread much over the next voting period but do thing they have time for a single plan review right before voting should end. People respond to the post volunteering to be "fresh eyes". In the final 12 hours, anyone with an active plan (that is, they are still updating and have gotten a decent number of votes) can PM these volunteers and ask them to drop back into the thread and comment on any areas of the plan whose meaning seems unclear.

I don't participate in planning much, but I could do this.

Just need to know ahead of time on what our timescale is - I've never really had an internalized clock WRT MfD update scheduling.

Emstar · Nov 18, 2018

Dissonance said:
I don't participate in planning much, but I could do this.

Just need to know ahead of time on what our timescale is - I've never really had an internalized clock WRT MfD update scheduling.

Evening before the Saturday/Wednesday deadlines, you down a glass or two of whiskey (or your spirit of choice) and then try to pick apart the current winning plan to see if theres anything you are unclear about.

Dissonance · Nov 18, 2018

MMKII said:
Evening before the Saturday/Wednesday deadlines, you down a glass or two of whiskey (or your spirit of choice) and then try to pick apart the current winning plan to see if theres anything you are unclear about.

You know me so well. I'm currently going through rum, but that's mostly so I can hold up the empty bottle of Malibu when I'm done and say "why is the rum gone?"

Cariyaga · Nov 18, 2018

Velorien said:
Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait until you come back from the tournament to find out what happens?

Distinctly not. We need trauma to perform at our peak in combat.

...The players, that is, not Hazou.

Immortal Lurker · Nov 18, 2018

TaliesinSkye said:
Maybe we should ask Keiko if she wants to conspire to figure out some way to get Ami back? I can think of a few possible strategies. That is, if she wants Ami back, operating under her false belief that Ami wanted her to return to the family.

Hmm... Do we know that Jiraiya knows something? I'm just trying to think of a way that doesn't use OOC knowledge to get started.

But all work beyond the most cursory seems risky to me at the moment. I don't think Keiko is ready to address the issue.

Though speaking of family, we need to be prepared for a range of outcomes for Hana:

She isn't allowed to talk to us
- And doesn't
- And does anyway.
She isn't able to talk to us because
- Imprisoned as a punishment
- Executed as a punishment
Assuming she does talk to us:
- She sticks to light fluffy topics
- She is angry at Jiraiya and Mari
  - And us for taking their side?
- She tries to convince us to leave clan Goketsu/Leaf
- She is clearly off because
  - Genjutsu style whammy
  - A trip to T&I
  - Threats

Anderkent · Nov 18, 2018

Velorien said:
"No matter what we are, Hazō, remember that I love you!"

I kinda struggle to think that Hazou would just leave after an exclamation like this? Also this is not how you stay broken up after breaking up with a teenager. I'm confused.

Doesn't work as Mari saying it either.

Vecht · Nov 18, 2018

Briefvoice said:
This seems to be a QM response that happens every second or third plan. We really out to institute a "fresh eyes" protocol where someone who hasn't been participating in planning at all gets tagged in at the last 12 hours to look over a plan with fresh eyes and ask any, "What does this even mean?" questions.

@Velorien

What happened here is that I wrote that section, which initially had "ask others for ideas," and included that as a "besides relying on the Yakuza". @Roomba copied this and altered the section in his plan, which removed the "ask for other ideas" line but kept this one.

faflec · Nov 18, 2018

Anderkent said:
I kinda struggle to think that Hazou would just leave after an exclamation like this? Also this is not how you stay broken up after breaking up with a teenager. I'm confused.

Doesn't work as Mari saying it either.

Clearly it was Rock Lee.

Anderkent · Nov 18, 2018

Immortal Lurker said:
Oh gosh, we've been idiots. What does Keiko actually want from being a Goketsu? What can we do to change what the clan does so that it resonates with Keiko as being important? There are lots of things about that she likes, such as personal safety, respect for her boundaries, and heaps of wealth and power. There are also lots of things about that she doesn't like, such as her hand in marriage getting sold and that she has to keep up the deal with the Pangolins.

Though there is the obvious difficulty in asking the person with an initiative disability what she would like. But yeah it would be interesting to have a conversation with Kagome about what kind of life he'd like to have in 3-4 years. And Mari, once she's all better.

faflec said:
Clearly it was Rock Lee.

SCREAMING IN KAGOME

MadScientist · Nov 18, 2018

List of jonin-auras/proto-jonin-auras:

Yagura and Hiruzen

Velorien said:
When the Mizukage spoke at public assemblies, his voice was high and cold, piercing you wherever you stood. It divided the world into straight lines of narrow steel, a razor-sharp net with no escape. There were only tools and traitors, right and wrong, sacrifice and selfishness, law and transgression. His charisma made you want to believe in a simple world where all you had to do was be one of those straight lines, and everything would be peaceful and good and right, forever. His reputation made you terrified of falling into the gaps between them, an endlessly deep void from which there was no way back.

The Hokage… was Hazō's grandfather. Not Kurosawa Ginrei, of whom he knew only the name. Not Izuki Jirō, who had passed away long before Hazō's birth. The Hokage was Hazō's grandfather as he ought to be, with the overwhelming but peaceful strength of an oak tree, decades of wisdom piled up like logs against a hard winter, and kindness to warm you like a fireplace if you were ready to show the proper respect. The rich timbre of the Hokage's voice complemented his all-encompassing aura, turning the room into a space that felt safe because it was under the Hokage's absolute control.

Hiruzen

Velorien said:
There was less wood in the Hokage's voice now, and more stone, reminding Hazō that he and they were allies of convenience at best, one step short of enemies, and that the warmth was not for them. He had to shake off the feeling that he'd just been shut out in the cold and needed to try to earn the Hokage's approval as fast as possible in order to be let back in.

Yagura, Mari, and Sanbi

Velorien said:
Yagura's eyes snapped onto hers.

The lattice of force warped around her, twisting itself like bondage rope, like ninja wire, pinning her from head to toe and stopping the tiniest sliver away from cutting into her flesh. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak.

But Mari refused to surrender. She would not be dominated by a man. She would not be turned into a helpless puppet for Yagura to use for his own pleasure. Not ever.

She was the flame, untouchable and irresistible, dancing and devouring, giving life or destruction on a whim. All the ninja wire in the world could not bind the flame, and any who tried to force their will onto her would burn to ashes.

Something shifted behind Yagura's eyes.

Mari plunged into the oceanic depths, far beyond the reach of the sun. The pressure of endless fathoms of water slammed down onto her, a single teardrop's weight away from crushing her bones into dust. No flame could exist in this abyss. Nothing could exist in this abyss. Nothing but the single vast being that was silently watching her die.

Then the Mizukage let her go.

Tsunade and Mari

Velorien said:
"Gōketsu Mari, yes. How can I—"

The weight of a mountain came down on her.

Ancient. Implacable. Too vast for the human mind to wrap around its full size. And in the depths she had been cast into, writhing horrors that the sunlit world had never seen, too old to have names and too primordial to know death. They perceived her, and in their sight she was nothing but layers of flesh and bone, to be flayed, examined, catalogued and devoured at their leisure for no better reason than because they were bored.

Mari would have been lost, except that she had once experienced a pressure even more overwhelming: the Mizukage's will, backed by a creature yet more powerful and more inimical to life. The thought sparked within her: This is less. And fire only needed one spark.

The best of the mountains were volcanoes. Rivers of fire flowed through them, relentlessly seeking freedom until at last they obtained it in a burst of explosive strength. Mari was fire in the dark, melting everything in her way as she clawed her way up from the depths. Stillness could not beat motion. Darkness could not beat light. If the fire was hot enough, no peak was too frozen to burn.

She couldn't reach. The mountain was too tall, its roots too deep. Unlike the unending flames of a true volcano, fed by countless interconnected streams, Mari burned alone. She had only the force of her determination, and there was still too far to go when the magma began to cool.

In the physical world, Mari channelled that incomplete measure of freedom. She couldn't counter the enemy's aura, but she could leap away, hoping that distance would diminish its power.

A hand lashed out, grabbing her wrist. The hand held the full strength of the mountain, and Mari would tear off her own before the force was enough for her to pull free.

Then the pressure vanished completely.

Tsunade

Velorien said:
A mountain fell on Akane.

If she'd tried to stay standing tall, it would surely have crushed her spine, followed by everything else. She didn't try. Standing tall didn't matter. Her bones didn't matter. On this scale, nothing mattered.

She could distantly feel herself fall to the floor. The impact should have hurt, but even that didn't matter.

She was going to die here. She didn't know why she hadn't died already.

There was some reason. Something she was here to do. Why she still existed. To protect. Something. Someone. Someone she knew. Someone she'd seen. Just now.

Mari-sensei.

The mountain was still on top of her. "Don't care," she forced out. "Will… protect…"

She tried to look up. Couldn't. Couldn't move her eyes. Everything was a blur anyway.

She needed strength. Couldn't lift a mountain. Had to keep going. Had to protect. Needed strength.

"Youth," she hissed. "Can't destroy youth…"

The mountain disappeared as Tsunade roared with laughter.

"Gender-swapped Rock Lee, are you? Guess I'm not the only surgeon with a sense of humour."

The room slowly came into focus. Akane's arms regained mobility before her legs and she gradually pushed herself up into a kneeling position, stayed there until she felt balanced, and then leveraged her legs into place. She stood up and waited for the room to stop swaying.

Kei

Velorien said:
The amusement that had been dancing in Keiko's eyes took on sharp edges, as if he was looking into a house of mirrors of black ice, where every refracted angle showed him being broken in a different way. He was in a maze, not trapped but free to seek an exit, if he was prepared to cut off another part of him in order to take each step.

There was no pain, but each time he felt a little more empty. With every step, something that bound him to this world ceased to exist. The maze's exit, he realized, had been in front of him all along—he just needed to destroy enough of himself to fit through it.

traverseda · Nov 18, 2018

Briefvoice said:
Actually... let me make this a formal proposal.

FRESH EYES PROTOCOL

In the ~12 hours after a new planning period begins, we post a "call for fresh eyes". These are people who, looking at their schedule, won't have time to participate in the thread much over the next voting period but do thing they have time for a single plan review right before voting should end. People respond to the post volunteering to be "fresh eyes". In the final 12 hours, anyone with an active plan (that is, they are still updating and have gotten a decent number of votes) can PM these volunteers and ask them to drop back into the thread and comment on any areas of the plan whose meaning seems unclear.

Yep.

Vecht · Nov 18, 2018

Briefvoice said:
FRESH EYES PROTOCOL

I think this would be a great thing to do as a less-intensive version of the Mad Eye protocol. Which we haven't really had much need for being back in Leaf, but I imagine we will once we're back in hostile territory.

Emstar · Nov 18, 2018

Anderkent said:
Also this is not how you stay broken up after breaking up with a teenager. I'm confused.

IIRC most teenagers don't really know if they want to stay broken up or not.

cough or adults for that matter cough cough

faflec · Nov 18, 2018

I mean, I'm pretty sure Akane still does harbor some level of romantic feeling for Hazou. It's just that the issues surrounding their relationship was too much to justify continuing it.

Kiba · Nov 18, 2018

OliWhail said:
Re: The Tournament
The actual fights will occur over the course of 4 consecutive days, in a slightly-modified single-elimination format: 8 fights the first day, then 4, then 2, and finally 2 (one to determine 3rd vs 4th place, one to determine 1st vs 2nd).

Since the fights themselves take minutes at most, they're supplemented with other events, displays, demonstrations, exhibitions of crafts/fights, food and drink merchants cashing in, etc.

Is this still true?

Anderkent · Nov 18, 2018

Briefvoice said:
Actually... let me make this a formal proposal.

FRESH EYES PROTOCOL

In the ~12 hours after a new planning period begins, we post a "call for fresh eyes". These are people who, looking at their schedule, won't have time to participate in the thread much over the next voting period but do thing they have time for a single plan review right before voting should end. People respond to the post volunteering to be "fresh eyes". In the final 12 hours, anyone with an active plan (that is, they are still updating and have gotten a decent number of votes) can PM these volunteers and ask them to drop back into the thread and comment on any areas of the plan whose meaning seems unclear.

Oh, that sounds like something for me. I rarely have time to contribute to plans as they're iterated upon, and often feel bad about not contributing anything useful.

Anderkent · Nov 18, 2018

faflec said:
I mean, I'm pretty sure Akane still does harbor some level of romantic feeling for Hazou. It's just that the issues surrounding their relationship was too much to justify continuing it.

Well, yes, but she's supposed to be the one with good intuitive understanding of the other people here (at least her last PoV chapter suggests that). What does she think Hazou will feel here?

I guess it might be a selfish feelgood thing before what she thinks is a very risky / deadly attempt at proving herself to Tsunade. Still it seems kinda out of character.

MadScientist · Nov 18, 2018

On discord we've been discussing getting Hazou "Hope Intent/Hugging Intent/Pretty Damn Far Intent".

@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail

Does any of this sound workable given your understanding of KI/jonin auras?

Roomba · Nov 18, 2018

[✕] "Jiraiya, does what aunt Tsunade said mean that snake uncle isn't invited to the wedding?"

Emstar · Nov 18, 2018

MadScientist said:
On discord we've been discussing getting Hazou "Hope Intent/Hugging Intent/Pretty Damn Far Intent".

@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail

Does any of this sound workable given your understanding of KI/jonin auras?

I would also accept Hazou running

Vegeta.SaiyanPride(MAX)

And using sheer stubborn Hazou-ness as a substitute.

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Luna's Luna

The Shining One

Occasional Editor

The Shining One

Luna's Luna

The Shining One

Luna's Luna

Handsome Gentleperson

with dread but cautious optimism

The Shining One

The Shining One