Dissonance
Luna's Luna
- Location
- Ginnungagap.
- Pronouns
- S/H/T
Basically UltraDeathworld has civilian women used for breeding and civilian men used as slaves.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Basically UltraDeathworld has civilian women used for breeding and civilian men used as slaves.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Oh God. Please tell me you're not serious.
There's world building to some of my omake and potential omake that put MfD to shame. (Sadly, I have trouble with compelling plot. So i don't end up doing much with them.)
MfD is not dark. Not by a long shot.
It's darker than canon, but canon is practically made of sunshine, optimism, and punching.
Oh, and that's before we get to the sci-fi reskins of MfD. Those get into the existential horror if you take a moment to read between the lines.
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
List of interludes we eventually want to see(eventually!):
Thought I'd compile these, since theres so many.Ping me for additions.
- Battle of the Gods
- What if: Battle of the Demi-Demigods
- Noburi's Secret Mission
- Saving Private Nobby (above, but with Kakashi's perspective)
- An afternoon sparring with Asuma
- How Poppa died
- How Momma died
- How Haku died
- What happened to Mizuki
- What happened to Hidden Mountain
- What happened to Tanaka
- The Snakes in My Pants incident
- Jiraiya Laughs
- Jiraiya Punches Team Bloodrage
- Jiraiya Interrogates Arikada
Thought I'd compile these, since theres so many.Ping me for additions.
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Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
"Someone", huh?
I sure wonder who that could have been. But if I had to guess...
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
I was saying without lying. Does that mean that, according to the laws of Fire Country, if a chunin personally a criminal do a crime they may mete out the legal punishment judge-jury-executioner style? If they are currently not otherwise bothered, are they expected to do so or is it just a thing they can do but may also ignore if they can't be bothered? Is giving over a civilian murderer to the local Fire authorities batman style the preferable option or are we seen as offloading our responsibility if we do that when we could also just have gone Judge Dredd?
Also, is that omake for inside Leaf accurate or overly extreme?
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Well, yeah. If it were any of the current QMs EJ would have likely just said so.
- Location
- Yes.
- How Poppa died
- How Momma died
- How Haku died
- What happened to Mizuki
- What happened to Hidden Mountain
- What happened to Tanaka
- The Snakes in My Pants incident
- Jiraiya Laughs
- Jiraiya Punches Team Bloodrage
- Jiraiya Interrogates Arikada
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Objection:
1) EJ doesn't actually volunteer information. He just appears to. Do not fall for this clever ruse!
2) Yes.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You'd be wrong.
What the others said -- our civilians are not considered sub-human, merely second-class.
Who are the Demi-Demigods?
Which omake?
I probably wouldn't, as it would feel impolite. But, no. It wasn't @Velorien And that's all I can comfortably say on the matter.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
The fight that never happened in Event 5, Round 2
AKA The battle to end all chunin exam events!
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
Admittedly neither MfD nor Sunshine really give us a complete idea of what seals do, because they're handwavey magic and it's hard to fit a rational system to them. I do feel like Sunshine added a number of damn useful clarifying concepts, though.
Some examples:
Sealing symbolic language is individual to the creator of the seal because seals are fundamentally an expression of will to direct chakra outside the body in a pattern that will achieve a precise desired result. Everyone thinks in their own unique individual way, so the symbols that best clarify how their want a seal to work, that make the most intuitive sense to them, are equally individual.
Once you infuse a seal it isn't really ink any more, it's a durable chakra flow that's (generally) fed with ambient nature chakra using a spiral-shaped collector mechanism. The ink itself a focus, much like hand signs are for jutsu, that makes the process of willing the chakra into the precise shape needed much easier, but someone sufficiently familiar with a particular seal design (someone able to hold the whole thing in their head all at once with clarity of every detail, meaning it's probably on the simple side) doesn't actually need it and can form seals by molding the chakra directly and just touching the thing/surface/area they want to lay the seal on.
Seals can in theory do almost anything, but they're limited by available power (local nature chakra plus whatever chakra the ninja puts in) and more importantly by the ninja's extremely precise knowledge of exactly what they want to do. This means a deep understanding of math plus the physics of whatever you want to mess around with. An example that pops up in the story is using seals to re-arrange a flat landscape into a maze of towering pillars, a feat only possibly by carefully mapping out the soil and rock layers of that specific area ahead of time. Seals that muck about with people (cursed seals, ANBU tattoos) call for a deep understanding of human biology and chakra coils. Seals that mess around with forces call for a thorough mathematical understanding of physics, because the seal requires exact prediction of what forces applied where will achieve what result and that calls for accurate equations.
I like that concept for a few reasons. From a QM's perspective it's a practical day to day limiter on what seals can do based on the availability of knowledge and the user's practical grasp on it. It also provides a backup limiter that prevents seals from doing huge OP things outside of special situations thanks to being subject to conservation of energy and ambient power availability. At the same time it enables seals to do all sorts of really cool things subject only to player imagination, especially when a sealmaster has time to think and prepare for a particular scenario, which is when sealing should be at its strongest.
I'd be strongly in favor of shamelessly stealing some or all of these concepts for MfD.
There are also a variety of practical seal applications that are neat and could be borrowed. Storage seals on the body are really damn useful for everything from dropping a kunai or sword into your hand out of thin air to giving you food and water conveniently delivered inside your mouth whenever you want it. (You could probably use storage seals to absorb waste, too, if you really wanted to avoid being interrupted at inopportune times for calls of nature.)
A non-seal concept that is clever and could be borrowed is the idea of 'tricks'. These are little chakra techniques that aren't quite on the level of jutsu and are fairly quick to learn, and generally have some non-combat utility function. Breathing underwater by using chakra to separate out the oxygen and to keep water from flooding into your lungs, for example, or using your chakra to press sweat and other molecules to your body for a time so you're not leaking scent everywhere for people to track you with, or swirling your chakra around to stir the air and dissipate gasses. That sort of thing.
Toward the darker side while remaining more or less coherent with canon, I meant. If you want to just rewrite the setting wholesale then of course you can make it arbitrarily dark. Canon Konoha has idealistic values that get in the way of a lot of awfulness being official policy.
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Nitpick: This is impossible to do. Canon itself is incoherent.
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
True. Any attempt will always be a 'how little of canon can we ignore to get a coherent picture?'. Like the inconsistency between Leaf's values and a T&I department that enthusiastically embraces torture as a standard practice, or hunting down and killing people who don't want to betray the village but just don't want to be ninja anymore.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
I agree with this, but as a primary proponent of the Empathy drip plan I feel like I should clarify that I do not recall anyone thinking (at least, recently) that we can fix Hazou's social problems just by increasing his stats. Whenever I argue that we should implement an Empathy drip, it is always meant to support characterization-affecting actions in the plans themselves. It may appear like I'm only advocating the Empathy drip because I don't often advocate characterization-actions, but that's only because the characterization-actions are intuitive and have wide support while the Empathy drip does not.
Your statement is true, that we can't rely on just increasing Hazou's stats to fix his problems, but I just want to make sure you're aware that, as best as I can tell, no one is advocating stats alone as a fix, but rather as an efficiency multiplier for the core thrust of the initiative.
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
It's a pity it's probably not viable to come up with a seal to improve Hazou's social prediction abilities somehow. Like an artificial Mori-esque inference engine optimized for modeling human behavior.
- Location
- UK
Was obviously Oli.
Dissonance
Luna's Luna
- Location
- Ginnungagap.
- Pronouns
- S/H/T
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Yet! Growth mindset!
More seriously, Jiraiya has this Screaming-of-the-Damned Hellfire Aura technique thing that would probably give some serious bonuses to intimidation. I feel like Intimidation is the easiest social stat to game, because you can go a long ways just by making everything super spooky to scare the daylights out of the other person.
Bah, no imagination.
Make a haptic feedback seal that buzzes specific patterns when it detects specific emotions occurring in its sensor-cone.
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TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
True, although I'm not sure how often we'll have social situations where it's acceptable to intimidate our way into getting what we want. We probably need ways of convincing people to like us.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Meh.
Don't let the Pro-social brigade fool you with their disinfo campaign! Deceit and Intimidation are extremely useful. We just don't use the former actively as much because we like being nice to people. Keiko has a huge pile of success with the latter.
Like, theres all sorts of uses for Deceit and Intimidation that were done over the course of the Exams. We did a bunch of stuff with Deceit (Bonku, Event 4, "Punches like Toffee" Aspect, the Disinfo campaign we did right before Event 5 (which worked!), etc.). We also can use it to disguise ourselves (see the recent chapters where we investigates Anko), now that we no longer have Henge. In general, being able to fool people is really useful. That ability + our creativeness makes for some awesome trickster-archetype stuff that we should do more often.
A super high Deceit + Empathy score would be useful for setting up a spy network for example. You need to make sure no one can really lie to you, and that you can trust them. Likewise, you probably want high Deceit if you want to set up a convincing cover story or plausible white-lie, to avoid leaking sensitive info. That sort of stuff.
Apparently with Intimidate you can just crush people to the floor with your mind or something. We'll figure out more about that this update, hopefully.
All of the social attributes are quite useful, even if you want to be more of a nice guy. You can be a super nice guy without putting literally all of the points into Rapport and Empathy too. The QMs aren't using these numbers as the be-all end-all of characterizations and outside-combat stuff, either.
Are you me?
Recognition code: 1,373,653 dash 2 dash 3
Not unless future!Maddie has been messing around with timelines again. Which is a possibility.
Chapter 227: Questionable Gains, Unknown Losses
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Good morning, Keiko," Hazō said after receiving permission to enter. "Silk no. 2 this morning, is it?"
"Indeed," Keiko said while writhing in a
Hazō duly turned around. He couldn't help noticing a certain toy kitten occupying pride of place at the foot of Keiko's bed, but his missing-nin survival instinct advised him not to comment.
"Ah, much better. You may now resume socialisation."
Hazō turned to see Keiko rubbing her wrists, a smile of mild satisfaction on her face.
"You know, you've been doing that a lot lately."
"It is an energising part of my morning routine, and the sense of progression serves as additional incentive. While traditional katas have their place, they are much less effective at improving flexibility and encouraging creative thinking—not exactly areas of strength for the typical Mori."
Hazō raised his eyebrows at the name.
Keiko gave him a disparaging look.
"You know as well as I do that the Gōketsu name is no more than an expression of pragmatic loyalty and intent, Hazō. Twelve years of Mori life, followed by two years of varied levels of longing for the return of same, are hardly to be erased with a few months of power and safety purchased from a new overlord. I have intense personal loyalty for Team Uplift. I have some positive feelings towards Jiraiya, and I do not doubt that some of the affection he expresses for us is genuine. I equally do not doubt that he would kill any of us if he judged it sufficiently beneficial to Leaf. That is what it means to be Leaf's spymaster, and I believe we have had more than enough foreshadowing."
"Keiko…" Hazō whispered in horror.
Keiko put away the rope, then sat down on the bed. "I do not condemn him for this. You were never truly part of the Kurosawa Clan, Hazō, so you cannot understand that a core part of what we are is the kinslayer taboo, that which caused clans to come into existence in the first place. Our internal strife, though inescapable by virtue of our humanity, will never cross a certain line. Jiraiya is a common-born, an orphan even. Collectively, Leaf may be his precious family, but individually we are all pieces on the board. Again, I do not condemn him. He plays the game as it is intended to be played, and before I met you, I would have classified his objective as the best one could aspire to.
"Noburi, I should mention, can be expected to know all of this, though his coping mechanisms clearly differ."
Hazō forced himself to remember Akane's words. If he wanted to rebuild a bond of trust between himself and Keiko, he couldn't do it through confrontation. He couldn't try to batter down this wall of cynicism, only try to think of incentives for her to lower it herself.
"So what do you propose we do, if the world is really that terrible?"
"Do? Why, exactly what we have been doing all along. We increase our value to Jiraiya, both as individuals and as the supporting pillars of his clan, which cannot be removed without endangering the entire structure. Already, he cannot eliminate us through legal means without a crippling blow to the clan's reputation, which in his mind would be a crippling blow to Leaf. He can have us assassinated while we are away on a mission, to be sure, or simply send us on one beyond our power to survive, but he cannot afford the personal loss of manpower. And by the time the clan has grown enough that we are replaceable, we will also have grown in value, such that our loss would remain a significant blow.
"Besides," she added with an ironic smile, "we could always turn missing-nin.
"But all of this is preparation for the worst-case scenario. Realistically, as long as we watch our step and avoid any more killbox incidents, our removal will always be a significant net negative for Jiraiya and Leaf. For most of us, it should be easy to prove that we will not bring harm to the village either through negligence or through ill intent.
"Do you understand now? I am a Mori who irreversibly betrayed her clan, first through obliviousness, then because they might not accept me if I returned, then through a mix of loyalty to you all and a simple desire for survival. I am additionally someone who became part of Team Uplift, and discovered that it was possible for me to give and receive acceptance, trust and even love without relying on Ami. I was given a purpose that both utilised and transcended my questionable skill set. There were also a certain someone's infectious ideals.
"What has the utilitarian construct known as the 'Gōketsu Clan' added to that? Power? Money? Soft pillows and occasionally the Hokage's ear? What do any of those things have to do with who I am?"
Put that way, it sounded almost… not awful.
It also made Hazō ask questions of his own. What had he gained from the Gōketsu name? A secure compound with a decent sealing lab. Respect from others. A lot of money, more than he could ever have imagined during his Mist life. Great training and access to a rich variety of resources, including multiple libraries. Safety for himself and his loved ones (at least unless they went out on missions and ended up like Minami, or accidentally caused a war).
On reflection, being a Gōketsu was awesome.
But on further reflection, none of those things were about loyalty to the clan. If some mystical being were to retroactively devour the Gōketsu concept so that Hazō somehow kept all those good things without Jiraiya being involved in any way… how much would he care? And, having established that Mist sucked and Leaf had plenty of issues of its own, would he have any positive identity left that didn't relate to Team Uplift, Mum, or his personal interests and aspirations?
He'd never been a clan ninja, so he couldn't compare, but if Keiko considered herself a Mori with extra bits tacked on, and Gōketsu clanhood wasn't one of those bits except instrumentally, that did explain a few things.
But Hazō hadn't actually come in here for a deeply depressing but thought-provoking discussion. That kind of conversation contained enough hidden traps to earn only a ten-minute rant from Kagome-sensei.
"Back on topic, Keiko, do you still want help with the escapology thing? I'm happy to tie you up any time you like."
Keiko gave him a look. "I noticed the way you were looking at me earlier, Hazō. Escapology is a fine art intended for evolved minds, not a way to sate your questionable predilections."
"I don't have any predilections!" Hazō exclaimed. "I was just impressed at your flexibility."
"Of course you were. Hazō, while I am entirely sympathetic to the suffering caused by your breakup, please understand that, even were I able to bypass my failings, I am not prepared to take Akane's place in helping you to pursue your fetishes."
The image was mind-boggling, but also based on inaccurate assumptions. "Akane and I—"
"Hazō," Keiko interrupted. "As I have said before, I respect your right to keep your sexual fantasies private, and I am prepared to violently incapacitate you in order to continue to respect it. If you must pursue your specialised interests—"
She broke off thoughtfully.
"If I recall correctly, the Third Hokage banned Jiraiya's Five Kage of Icha Icha series after the third volume, with Mitarashi Anko said to own the only extant copies. But now that Jiraiya is the Hokage himself, perhaps you could persuade him to return them to circulation."
"But I really don't—"
"Should you choose to have that conversation with him, speak to me first, and I will compile a more extensive list of volumes which the literary world has been unjustly denied."
Great. Now Keiko thought he was some kind of… he didn't even know what it was called, but he was fairly sure he wasn't one. He made a note to avoid tying Keiko up in the future where possible.
"So did you come here for some other reason than to question the foundations of my identity and clumsily attempt to seduce me?"
"I wasn't trying to—oh, forget it. I actually wanted to consult you about that death glare thing you do. I might face somebody else who can do it in the tournament, or for that matter generally, and it would help if I could practice with you."
"You… are giving me free license to wield the blade of my will to sever the fragile threads that hold together your soul?" Keiko's smile grew fifty percent more evil.
"Y-Yes?"
"Well. I must admit that I am hesitant to overuse my techniques lest it weaken my power to torment you, but on the other hand in light of recent events it does behove me to heighten and refine my powers anyway."
"Recent events?" Hazō asked warily.
"A surprise for you to look forward to." The sinister smile was still there. Hazō shivered.
"Oh. We've already started, haven't we?"
"You tell me, Hazō. Do you believe that if you left this very moment, it would save you from the fate you have chosen for yourself?"
The amusement that had been dancing in Keiko's eyes took on sharp edges, as if he was looking into a house of mirrors of black ice, where every refracted angle showed him being broken in a different way. He was in a maze, not trapped but free to seek an exit, if he was prepared to cut off another part of him in order to take each step.
There was no pain, but each time he felt a little more empty. With every step, something that bound him to this world ceased to exist. The maze's exit, he realized, had been in front of him all along—he just needed to destroy enough of himself to fit through it.
"That should do," Keiko said. "How were the fruits of my practice?"
"Keiko," Hazō wheezed, "how long have you known genjutsu?"
"If only," she laughed. "I researched the matter, and most of it is utterly incompatible with my combat style.
"The principle, however, is the same. Sufficient raw fear will lead a target to fill in the blanks on their own initiative. It requires a certain kind of will, and a certain specialised form of body language."
"Huh. Is that something I could learn?"
"I doubt it." Keiko's eyes half-closed for a second in some uncertain negative emotion. "You have too much light in you. When you attempt to intimidate, it is through deception. You exaggerate or mislead, because fundamentally, you do not wish to destroy your enemies, merely to overcome them. You lack killing intent. I, on the other hand, need only to project what I am outwards. You could call it talent, if you were feeling cruel."
"Don't argue with the self-loathing cynic," Hazō told himself. "Hearken to the wisdom of Akane. She knows what to do, at least more than you do."
"So is that how it works for everyone who does it the non-deceptive way?"
"Past a certain point," Keiko said. "I cannot speak beyond my own experience, except to say that I believe it to be the foundation of the jōnin aura."
"Which is what, exactly?"
"I have spoken to Jiraiya on the subject. The mechanism is not fully understood, and probably involves some combination of killing intent and chakra. If you have ever felt a jōnin intimidate you through their sheer presence, without any particular act or word, if the experience evoked in you an image or sensation uniquely associated with that individual, that is what elite shinobi colloquially refer to as a jōnin aura. Needless to say, I do not possess one, though with sufficient practice—which you have happily volunteered for—perhaps I might acquire it earlier than others."
"Do you know what it'll be like?"
Keiko shrugged. "I imagine ice will be involved. It always is."
"So does that mean every jōnin we know can do it? Even Mari-sensei?"
"I asked her to release her full killing intent once so I could experience it. Never again."
"That bad?"
"If you can imagine being immersed in the absolute opposite of everything you are…" Keiko shuddered.
Was there any part of this conversation that wasn't going to swerve into frightening and/or depressing territory?
"Well," Hazō said, "I'm sure it won't be an issue. I won't disturb you any further so that you don't disturb me any further. But… I'm glad you remember the whole acceptance, trust and love thing. You deserve every bit of it. Honestly, with how strong you've become since we first met, in all the different ways, I dread to think what our tournament battle is going to be like."
"I… thank you, Hazō. Were it not deeply embarrassing, I imagine I could say much the same to you. However, it is, so kindly vacate the premises so that I may prepare to head out for the afternoon."
-o-
Kagome-sensei took three steps into the room before grabbing a kunai and leaping straight for Keiko's throat.
"Stop!" Hazō yelled. "What is it this time, Kagome-sensei?"
"She was staring at me funny."
"Keiko, were you in fact staring at him funny?"
"By no means. I was observing him in my peripheral vision while maintaining my focus on the main entrance."
"Exactly!" Kagome-sensei pointed an accusing finger at her. "You might as well have been shouting 'I'm a dirty backstabbing schmuck' at the top of your lungs."
"Kagome," Noburi said patiently, "you're playing the role of a normal daimyo. That means you're only allowed to be as suspicious as a smart civilian."
"I was exactly like a civilian," Kagome grumbled. "See, I didn't use explosive tags or anything."
"And the kunai?"
"Daimyo have those swords, right? For honourable suicide?"
"Those are samurai," Hazō said, "and they only exist in fiction. Partly thanks to us."
"Fine, whatever," Noburi said. "Let's pretend you got past Keiko without doing anything crazy. Here's what you see."
Noburi slid over to the table where Hazō was already sitting. "I raise, my good man. I've got a good feeling about this hand."
"Oh, really? Then I raise too. I hope you enjoy having your coffers emptied."
"Let's go!"
Noburi put down a straight. Hazō had one pair.
"Oh, dear, won't be able to afford that castle for much longer, will we?"
"We'll just see about that!" Hazō growled. During the next round, he managed to get another pair versus Noburi's four of a kind. "Again!"
"Sorry, old boy," Noburi winked. "If I don't stop now, I won't be able to carry all this money back to my lodgings. Better luck next time."
"You get back here, you scoundrel!"
"Kagome, that's your cue," Noburi whispered.
Kagome-sensei swaggered up to the table. It looked like the waddling of an overweight penguin, but points for effort.
"Hello there. I am extremely rich but don't have the common sense of a magpie, and can't tell from your expression that you're up to no good. Let me stake my money on drawing better cards than you."
"That's… good," Hazō said. "Now you draw a good hand—we've stacked the deck for practice—and I'll get a bad one."
"What's a good hand?"
Hazō dropped his cards. "Do you not know how to play?"
"Why should I? Waste of time. They could have all the private game nights they wanted. I'd be using the time for productive research."
"All right," Hazō said determinedly. "Let me start by drawing you up a chart."
"Hazō," Keiko said, "you do recall that Kagome will not be coming with us, and thus needs only to know enough to assist with the simulation?"
"Not now, Keiko," Hazō waved her away. "This man is ignorant of the rules of a game."
-o-
The morning of departure had come. It was overcast, and, at this time of morning, pretty dark. However, Jiraiya had made it clear that they would not be late to Mist by so much as a minute, or he would personally hand the offender over to Hyūga Hiashi for use before the tournament began. (The fact that nobody could imagine what the "use" could possibly be made it only worse.)
Right now, the Gōketsu Clan in its entirety (including Fifi, curled around Kagome's feet) was assembled in front of the compound gates, saying its farewells before setting off to join the main Leaf contingent at the village gate.
"Are you sure you've packed enough explosives?"
"There is no such thing as enough explosives," Hazō replied ritually.
"That's my apprentice. You go blow all the stinkers to pieces for me."
Jiraiya coughed meaningfully.
"But in a safe and rules-compatible way!"
"Good luck," Mari-sensei said in a whisper.
"Kick their asses or I'll kick yours," Tsunade added. "And take the herbal tea every day, because if you try to bring even one foreign disease back to Leaf, you'd better be ready to turn missing-nin all over again."
And then there was Akane. Akane who'd come over to speak to him personally while Noburi was busy getting the last of the bags and storage scrolls.
"I was afraid you wouldn't make it," Hazō said with a smile.
"I could never miss my chance to say goodbye."
"I'm sorry if I've been a bit distant lately," Hazō said. "I know it wasn't fair on you. To tell you the truth, I only figured out about the breakup after, um, that… that training with Team Gai. Until then I thought it was just a fight. And it took the combined efforts of Noburi, Mari-sensei and Jiraiya to make me get it. So, um, sorry about that."
Akane, who'd been looking strangely melancholy, burst out laughing. "That is so… so you, Hazō. Not that I'm any better for not catching it!"
"But wait," she said. "if you didn't think we'd broken up, then why were you being distant?"
"Because I'm terrible at managing interpersonal conflict?"
"Oh, cool. That makes sense."
Hazō was a little miffed at the instant response, but he decided that the mature thing would be not to show it.
"So," Hazō said awkwardly, "in the name of compensating for me being terrible at managing interpersonal conflict… is there anything that's bothering you? Because if you're ever unhappy with anything, I want to be there for you. Your feelings matter—not just to me, but all of us."
"Thanks, Hazō," Akane smiled, that melancholy touch back in her voice. "If I'm honest…"
She stopped.
"No. It's not important."
"Akane," Hazō said reproachfully. "If we're going to communicate, we need to communicate."
"It's really not important, and it probably won't matter for long anyway. For now, you need all your focus to be on the tournament. Can you do that for me?"
Hazō sighed. "Promise me that if it's still an issue when I get back, we'll talk about it then."
"I will do my best," Akane said seriously. "So, Hazō, you need to do your best as well."
"I will."
"What's the hold-up?" Jiraiya called out. "We need to hurry up and be the Gone-ketsu!"
Several people turned to stare at him in disbelief.
"So maybe I'm not at the top of my game in the early morning," Jiraiya muttered.
"Sorry," Akane said to Hazō. "I shouldn't be holding you back at a time like this."
"Don't worry about it. It's just Jiraiya worrying about clan prestige again. Listen, we should get moving, but I want you to know that it's good to have you with us again. Not just because you're a great person, but because I think it'll take all of us to help Mari-sensei, and I know I can count on you."
"I will do everything I can," Akane said.
"All right, in that case—what the?!"
As the Gōketsu travellers passed through the compound gates, they were met with a huge cheer. A crowd of civilians stood a respectful distance away, some of them waving banners with "Victory!" and similar slogans on them.
Hazō began to get a very bad feeling.
"What is going on here?" Jiraiya demanded.
A man emerged from the crowd, gave Jiraiya a deep bow, then proceeded to walk right past him and to Keiko.
"Lady Gōketsu," he said in reverent tones, "please accept our humble wishes for your triumph at the Chūnin Exam Finals. Truly, we are in awe at the surpassing talent you have shown at your young age."
Keiko stared at the man blankly.
He seemed to be prepared for that reaction. "We won't trouble you any further, Lady Gōketsu. All we wish is to present you with these gifts, which are filled with our love and appreciation, and will surely bring you good fortune on the battlefield."
He waved a hand, and several burly men emerged from the crowd carrying an enormous box, which they placed carefully at Keiko's feet before giving her brief looks of admiration and retreating.
Hazō stepped towards Keiko and took a peek.
The majority of the gifts were good luck charms. Safe travel. Grow up a healthy child. Victory in battle. Grow tall. Then there were a few rather terrible portraits of Keiko (obviously drawn without her participation), made in charcoal, ink and embroidery. A blue and white scarf. A pair of wool gloves with snowflake patterns. No fewer than five black kitten toys. And that was just the top layer.
Keiko, the most amazing expression of confoundment on her face, turned helplessly to Mari-sensei.
Mari-sensei laughed for the first time in weeks.
"We'll hold on to those for you," she said in a quiet but clear voice.
Keiko nodded, but snatched the scarf and gloves out of the box before Kagome-sensei could start checking it for traps (which might involve some degree of disassembly).
"Disperse," the man shouted back to the crowd. "Sorry for taking up your time, Lady Gōketsu. We'll get out of your way now."
"What just happened?" Keiko asked, finding her voice several seconds after the last well-wisher disappeared.
Noburi gave Hazō a suspicious look. "Is this another of your crazy schemes, Hazō?"
"No," Hazō said. "I can quite honestly say I didn't see that one coming."
"Every day," Jiraiya said, "I discover a new reason why I was crazy to adopt you people.
"Of course," he added, "every night Mari reminds me why it was the greatest idea of my life."
"Wedding within a week of your return," Tsunade snapped. "Or I invite Orochimaru and leave you to figure out how to get him in."
Jiraiya stared at her goggle-eyed for a second.
"I knew there was a reason I wanted to take a break from this madhouse.
"Come on, kids. Last one to the gate gets a double portion of Tsunade's herbal tea!"
Hazō ran for his life, followed by Tsunade's creative curses, Kagome-sensei's yells of encouragement, and…
"No matter what we are, Hazō, remember that I love you!"
Hazō swore to do all of them proud.
-o-
You have received 3 +1 XP and 0 FP.
-o-
Kagome lectured you on rushing your work, sealing safety and sane time estimates when you so much as suggested trying to get some new research done before your departure.
Your heist instructions were very vague, but you practised anyway. Keiko wrote down an estimate of your projected earnings, then rolled it up into a ball and threw it to Fifi to play with. Apparently, analysts don't like being asked to make predictions with too many variables and too little data. Fifi, on the other hand, eats financial estimates for breakfast. I also have no idea what you meant by practising bribing the yakuza.
Your CHAOS preparations went fine, except that you have no access to noxious gas and Tunneller's Friend would have been the wrong seal anyway.
-o-
You are standing at the Leaf gates. It will take you two days of travel to reach Mist. You may use the journey time as you will, or skip it entirely.
What do you do?
Voting ends on Wednesday 21st of November, 12 p.m. London time.
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