- Location
- Yes.
So...level the Pangolin chakra boost jutsu?
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Well yeah, but we were going to do that anyway. I was thinking an "increase acceleration of attached person by x ms-2 in this direction" sort of seal.
Screaming aside, of course.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Maybe we'll be lucky enough to get a shipment of a fresh new explosive-propulsion seal from Kagome in time for the exams? Seems like the kind of thing he'd do.
Can we declare that with FP? If he's finished researching them, I mean. If he hasn't then of course we can't.
- Location
- Potato land
Honestly, nothing aside from spending some XP on Pangolin techniques.
Getting to the tournament is the difficult part. Once we're there, we don't even need to win; we just need to put on a good show. I'd support research on opponents, just so we don't get instantly OHKOd by stupid bullshit. Other than that, though, I think we should spend that month diplomancing our clans, trying to gather intel on Akatsuki, and whatever else Jiraiya thinks is helpful.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
If you want to spend time diplomacing it would make sense to try to get Hana to teach us the Secret Iron Nerve social techniques
I don't think we can get that. At the very least not without hours of arguing back and forth between J and Ren where J gives some kind of significant concession in exchange.
- Location
- Potato land
Oh, I absolutely want to learn anything pertinent Hana can tell us about the Kurosawa - structure, politics, internal etiquette and values, important people to watch out for. I'd love to get the social techniques as well, they sound incredibly useful in general, but I suspect they're going to cost significant XP and training time.
Well, judging from Hana's attitude towards Ren during our meeting, I doubt she will ask permission before teaching Hazou whatever the hell she wants. Remember, she told us about the Uchiha connection, which is supposed to be a very important secret.
I also don't think the social techniques are that big of a deal. The important secret here is what Iron Nerve actually does; the techniques are just a more organized and comprehensive way of doing what every Kurosawa already does to some extent.
I hope you're right, but at the same time, Hana is a Mist Jonin. And as much as she loves Hazou beyond all other ties and probably would defect if she thought Leaf could get away with poaching her, this kind of betrayal can have... consequences... that she might think it best to avoid.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Without speaking to the rest of your post, I'll note that Hana pretty much is planning to defect...it's being called an "ambassadorship" but that's a very *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* thing -- everyone is aware that she's going to be in Leaf essentially permanently and that if Mist tried to call her home they'd need a very good case in order to avoid a giant "f'you, I'm staying".
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
I see the macerator whips came up again. I'd like to draw attention to, if we can pull it off, how handy they'd be:
The basic idea of it relies on being able to set macerators on time-delay release and then time the release to exactly the crack of the whip, which honestly sounds like the sort of thing that the Iron Nerve would really really help with. From the perspective of anyone looking, we're executing a trick of incredible precision, and it's the sort of thing that shows off our Iron Nerve bloodline without giving away the more secret details.
Even if we get it to work, though, it's only going to work once since I imagine replacing a tiny seal on the tip of a whip is not easy, which acts as a pretty decent balance against it, as well as the fact that if any of the other Kurosawa have been in a similar situation (having access to something that works like macerators and wanting to hit things harder), they could've pieced it together too.
It's worth a shot, at least.
The basic idea of it relies on being able to set macerators on time-delay release and then time the release to exactly the crack of the whip, which honestly sounds like the sort of thing that the Iron Nerve would really really help with. From the perspective of anyone looking, we're executing a trick of incredible precision, and it's the sort of thing that shows off our Iron Nerve bloodline without giving away the more secret details.
Even if we get it to work, though, it's only going to work once since I imagine replacing a tiny seal on the tip of a whip is not easy, which acts as a pretty decent balance against it, as well as the fact that if any of the other Kurosawa have been in a similar situation (having access to something that works like macerators and wanting to hit things harder), they could've pieced it together too.
It's worth a shot, at least.
- Location
- Yes.
So wait, is this a thing with precedent? As in, Mist and Leaf have done this sort of thing before for whatever reason?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Pretty sure we're breaking new ground here. This is very much the kind of thing that could lead to a long term alliance if things don't go tits up.
So you're saying that the geopolitical stability of the elemental nations rests on Hazou not causing an international incident when presented with the opportunity to do so on a silver platter?
- Location
- Yes.
Jiraiya should seal off Hazou's tongue for the duration of the Exams.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
So, @eaglejarl How honest did Saitō seem in his respect in the last update?
- Location
- Potato land
Eh, to describe the current geopolitical state of EN as "stability" would be very generous. It would've probably broken on its own, given some time. You could even make the argument that breaking it under controlled circumstances is the rational and moral course of action.
The odds against Hazou making it to the Tournament are still pretty low. Speaking of which....
Right now all the Events have been team-focused. However, I have some expectations that Mist will shake things up in the final Event to see who individually deserves to go on to the Tournament and who has just been carried along by their team. I think the final Event before the Tournament may well go to "everyone for themselves" in order to mix up the individual scores. What happens then?
Right now all the Events have been team-focused. However, I have some expectations that Mist will shake things up in the final Event to see who individually deserves to go on to the Tournament and who has just been carried along by their team. I think the final Event before the Tournament may well go to "everyone for themselves" in order to mix up the individual scores. What happens then?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Keiko's fucked, Noburi does fine, Hazou excels?
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Oh wait, we should randomize which signals we tell each merchant if we're going with hand signals.
That way people don't notice us doing the same thing in every shop.
That way people don't notice us doing the same thing in every shop.
Interlude: Chosen for the Grave, Part 10
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Interlude: Chosen for the Grave, Part 10
"Is this going to take much longer?" Wolf asked quietly, not taking his eyes off of our surroundings in case anyone attempted to assassinate me. Or, worse, asked why he was crouched on the wall of Mitarashi Anko's apartment holding me in place by my jury-rigged climbing harness. (I hadn't quite mastered wall-walking yet, by which I mean I had a slight falling problem. Ah gravity, my ancient nemesis.)
"Almost ready," I said, not looking up as I continued pressing seal-equipped blocks into the resin that I'd already painted on the wall.
Ninja are paranoid folk. They prefer to have apartments on an upper floor to make it harder for spies. They prefer places with an exterior wall so that there's a window to go out through in a pinch, but said windows are typically shuttered over with locked metal shutters, and probably trapped.
All of this is in the nature of a burglar alarm—it doesn't keep anyone out if the person is determined and willing to make some noise, it just means you know they're there. If an enemy ninja is willing to blow through your wall with Chidori, Rasengan, explosive tags, or insert-other-ninja-bullshit-here, then there's no practical way to keep them out. (Unless, of course, you happen to be a sealmaster and have papered the walls, floor, and sealing...er, ceiling, of your assigned dorm room with Force Wall seals because fuck you that's why.)
Now, all of the aforementioned methods of impolitely entering a ninja's abode contain a significant risk of collateral damage. This was not an acceptable idea to me; I had no interest in hurting anyone, not even Ms-I'm-a-Raging-Bitch-Bordering-on-Sex-Predator Mitarashi. No, hurting people is for the unimaginative.
"Done," I said, pushing a little chakra into some of the seals.
Wolf didn't wait to be told twice, he simply launched himself across the alley to the roof of the neighboring building, dragging me along for the ride. I almost got whiplash in the process, but I didn't complain; Wolf was doing me a huge favor and I didn't want him changing his mind. Granted, part of the reason he was doing it was because he had his own beef with Anko—apparently he'd been chatting up a comely lass when Anko swooped in and swept the girl off her feet and into a frenetic and still ongoing relationship. Despite being an ANBU (i.e., a masked (well, usually, but not tonight) special forces / assassin / warrior / cop / Praetorian-Guard-circa-Augustus (i.e., not the politicking / emperor-choosing group of the later Empire)), Wolf was only sixteen (as per Oli, who had scanned the guy's sheet for me) and still quite shy with girls. (Again, as per Oli, who had thus far been right about everything. (Well, except maybe for his trust in Kabuto, but maybe I was being paranoid there. After all, Kishimoto had written Kabuto as a spy for Orochimaru (of course, that entire plot line was idiotic—why would Orochimaru put his life's work on hold to spend months (years?) scheming to level Konoha (Val never actually said anything when I wrote 'Konoha' instead of 'Leaf', since we had agreed we were going to translate everything except for certain words that don't translate, like 'sensei', but I could almost see the British Eyebrow I was getting whenever I slipped. Still, it was how I preferred it and now that we were living it instead of writing it I could call it anything I wanted because whatever was doing the translating for us didn't seem to have any disgruntlement on the subject and oh wow I let my mind wander down the branching rabbit hole. Where was I? Oh, yeah: B&E, sealmaster style.))))
I knelt to check over the seals on the barrel that balanced precariously on the edge of the roof. Everything was in order, so I sighted over the top to make sure it was lined up properly.
"You're sure this is going to be safe?" Wolf asked nervously.
"It'll be fine," I said. "It's not going to be moving that fast."
"If she gets hurt there will be a lot of trouble."
"It'll be fine," I said again. "Even if she were bent over with her head against the wall in exactly the wrong spot, she'd probably only get a concussion, and what are the odds? It's three in the morning, she's in bed asleep."
"Who's in bed asleep?" Anko asked from just behind us.
I nearly jumped out of my skin, and I spun around so quickly that I made myself dizzy.
"This isn't what it looks like," Wolf said quickly. The moon was full and it gave enough light that I could tell the sandy-haired kid was blushing as he fought to keep his eyes on Anko's face since, as usual, Anko was wearing a mesh shirt that would have been street-legal in San Francisco, but only barely.
"Actually, it is," I said, activating all the seals on the barrel and diving off the roof.
The force-projection seals acted like rocket engines, launching the barrel off the roof and into the wall opposite us. Specifically, the part of the wall that I had carefully covered in a grid of chakra tripwires. The tripwires activated a whole series of very short-range force axe seals that turned that section of wall into rubble so that the barrel could sail through unobstructed and into the middle of Anko's living room. Just in time for the low-powered explosives seals on the barrel to detonate and paint the entire room with fifty gallons of rancid grease.
My original plan had been to (A) prep the prank, (B) trigger the prank, (C) spend a few seconds watching the results with a gleeful schadenfreude warming the cockles of my heart, and (D) scamper before I got in trouble. Having accomplished A and B I decided to skip straight to D and haul ass. I wasn't too worried about Wolf; Anko was going to be far more interested in going after me than him.
Speaking of which, I should probably do something to discourage that.
I was halfway down to the ground, moving in something that was more of a 'plummet' than anything else, so I didn't have any attention to spare for distractions. I hit the ground hard, pulsing the strongest burst of chakra repulsion that I could manage just before making contact so as to cushion the fall, and then rolled. My everything hurt but nothing broke, so I was calling that a win.
I was on my feet and running immediately, pulling seals out of my pockets and flinging them over my shoulder without pausing to look. It was a bit of a smorgasbord: flashbangs, low-powered explosives, and a crapton of storage seals. The flashbangs were to blind my almost-certainly-not-hypothetical pursuer, the explosives were to destroy the storage seals and thus release their contents.
I heard a yelp of pain when the flashbangs went off, followed by an impact and a series of curses as she tripped over the shin-high logs that had been dispensed and then fell on the thumbnail-sized caltrops. They were more like omni-directional thumbtacks than anything seriously dangerous, but she'd need to spend a few seconds digging them out before she could pursue, and I had already planned my escape route.
I could hear Anko's cursing fading behind me as I turned down the next alley and ran away, giggling like a maniac.
o-o-o-o
"Okay, Yūta, this is your last chance to back out. You sure you want to do this?"
"Yes, Lord Jiraiya," Yūta said. "I would do anything to be reaccepted." The boy was no more than eight, short and scrawny for his age, with hair like a dirty mop. Despite that, he stood tall and straight as a spear, a look of determination on his face that would have done a grown man proud. It didn't mask the fear, but that simply made it more impressive.
Jiraiya studied him for a moment, face a study in conflicting emotions, before thumping his chest in the salute of one warrior to another. "Good man. Let's do this."
The act was far less impressive than the lead-up. Oli simply reached out and tapped the air a few dozen times. "Done," he said. "Chakra Reserves is at four, talent's at ninety-nine percent, and he's got one XP to spend. How do you feel, Yūta?"
The boy shrugged. "No different, sir. Was something supposed to have happened?"
"Let's find out if it did," Val said, stepping forward. "Okay, Yūta, there's only two seals to this jutsu: Boar, then Tiger. Like this, okay?" He watched the boy's fingers dance fluidly through the tricky transition. "Good. Now, I want you to picture your chakra pooling in your hara, forming into a sphere of earth, rich and dark like forest loam. Spin that sphere into a thread and send it up your arm to your fingertips, then touch the earth and—"
I tuned out Val's explanation of the jutsu, choosing instead to focus on Jiraiya's face. It was closed off and unreadable, but if I had to guess I'd say that he was hiding some combination of fear for the boy, horror at his own willingness to do the experiment, curiosity, and probably a flicker of hope and excitement. He'd been dead set against letting Oli modify the character sheet of any Konoha ninja, especially any of the Academy students. Oli had been the one smart enough to ask, "What about someone who isn't a Konoha ninja? Like, someone who washed out of the Academy? We could give a kid a second chance to become a ninja. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers."
Jiraiya had fought against the idea at first, but the 'if' had pretty much been settled so we were really into the "we're just haggling about the price, my dear" territory, especially once the Hokage weighed in with cautious approval predicated on actually finding a volunteer.
"Earth Element: Swamp of the Underworld!" Yūta cried, slamming his hand into the ground and breaking me out of my reverie. I watched in satisfaction as the ground immediately around Yūta's feet turned to mud. The boy sank in, but the 'swamp' was only an inch deep so he didn't do more than dirty his sandals.
Jiraiya blinked.
"So...what do you think?" I asked, struggling not to smile. I once again found myself wondering if I was a bad person because I so very much enjoyed watching someone's treasured beliefs collapse like a bad soufflé.
Jiraiya scrubbed a hand through his hair in aggravation. "That is an A-rank technique."
"Yup." I could feel my face fighting not to grin. It was losing.
"That's why we picked it," Val reminded him, amusement lurking somewhere behind the words. "Because you would know just how hard it is."
"I...I...I did it!" Yūta said in disbelief, kneeling down in the mud and scooping up two handfuls of it. "I did it!"
"You sure did," Oli said, grinning and kneeling next to him for a high-five that paid no attention to the mud.
Of the three of us, Oli was definitely the best with the smols. Val and I weren't bad, but Oli had a real knack for it. Granted, the ninja kids were utterly alien to all of us; their life goals involved (but generally did not center on) killing people, and they worked harder than any of us had ever even dreamed of working in order to attain said goals. It was humbling.
Yūta had washed out for not having the reserves, the control, or the natural gifts. He had worked his ass off at the Academy, but he simply hadn't had the ability. When Oli had named him as a potential based on the details of his character sheet, Yūta had practically beaten down the doors for the chance to undergo whatever experimental techniques we wanted to inflict on him if it meant another chance to get into the Academy. Now he'd mastered one of Jiraiya's signature moves in a few minutes...well, 'mastered' was a bit strong. After all, it wasn't called 'Mud Puddle of the Underworld'. Still, from what Val had said, the real hurdle lay in being able to perform a jutsu at all; making the swamp wider and deeper was simply a matter of practice and chakra.
Jiraiya chuckled ruefully. "Okay, I'm impressed. Hey, Yūta—you like ice cream?"
Anime-eye powers, activate! "Yes, sir!"
"Great. Let's go get you enough ice cream to drown in, and then we'll talk about how to work you back into the Academy in the middle of the year."
"Yaaayyyyyy!"
The Toad Sage shot a look at the three of us and shook his head, but he was smiling. "We'll talk later." He swooped Yūta up onto his shoulders and galloped off the training field in search of ice cream, the young boy shrieking in delight all the way.
"That went well," Val said, watching Jiraiya disappear down the path that lead back towards Konoha proper.
"Yep," I replied. Pause. "So, when he gets back can I introduce him to the seal-based Industrial Revolution?"
"Maybe leave that for tomorrow?" Oli suggested. "Spread the shocks out a bit. Wouldn't want to give him a heart attack."
"Always ruining my fun," I pretend-grumbled. "You guys get to transform the world in a matter of minutes with your bullshit jutsu and reality-warping-spreadsheet bullshit bullshitiness, but do I get my turn with my hard-earned skills? Noooo. No, I get ditched in favor of ice cream."
"Speaking of desserts, I saw a place that does sea-salt caramels," Val said, in what I was absolutely certain was an attempt to distract me from my entirely reasonable and righteous grumblefest.
"I'm in!" said Oli, trotting off down the path. Val smiled and went after him; I, of course, followed.
Turned out, sea-salt caramels were a pretty good reason to forego a grumblefest, no matter how righteous. Damn, those things were amazing.
Author's Notes:
The plan from last time is still in force. I'm going to try to write that for Sunday, but I'm doing family things almost all day Sunday, meaning that I'll need to do all the writing Saturday. Depending on spoons and other commitments you might end up getting another CfG update, but I should be able to produce something.
Last edited:
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You saw no signs of deception.
- Location
- Yes.
Well duh, the guy's the second lieutenant. Of course he'd be a good liar.
In related news: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
I want to state for the record that this is exactly what I would have done.
D'aaawwwwww