Chapter 132: Conversations Like Sand

"Water?" Hazō asked tentatively, holding out the canteen as Noburi finished his kata.

"Sure." Noburi took the canteen and splashed some on his sweaty face before pouring half a liter of the rest down his throat. "Aaaah. That's good. Did Akane chill it?"

"Yup. Nice having an icemaker handy, right?"

Noburi nodded. "Makes the desert a lot easier. Hope Minami gets back soon so we can get out of this giant suckhole."

Hazō nodded. "No argument from me." He paused, reviewing his wording before continuing. "Noburi, I have something that I feel is very important and would like to discuss with you. I am hesitating to do so because you are justifiably angry with me over my OPSEC breach and I am concerned that I will frame things improperly and make you angrier. Still, I do have some things I'd like to say. Would this be a good time, or should I approach you again later?"

Hazō had to give Noburi credit; the other ninja actually thought about it instead of giving a knee-jerk reaction. "Yeah, this is a good time. I'm not all that angry anymore, I guess. If I were to use your Clear Communication no Jutsu, I think I would say that I am not actively angry, but I am still resentful. I suspect I'm going to be more careful about sharing secrets with you in the future, although I recognize that that's a problem and I'll work on not letting it happen. I will also note that my primary reaction to the issue is 'tired'; I feel that this sort of thing happens a lot with you and I've just gotten to the point of handling the fallout and then moving on. I'm not sure if that's a fair or accurate way to feel, but it's the way I do feel and it seemed smart to share that."

Hazō gulped. "Thank you for telling me," he said carefully. "It was not comfortable to hear but I think it was important to know.

"Changing topics for a moment. I leaked your trump-card technique without thinking about it, so I've been working to come up with a new trump card for you. I wish to say upfront that I don't know very much about your bloodline or how it works, so it's quite possible that all of my ideas are pointless or obvious and well-known to the Wakahisa clan. Should that prove to be the case I hope you won't become angry at me for wasting your time."

Noburi snorted. "It's fine. I never got more than the most basic training in our bloodline, so probably a lot of my ideas are well-known to the Wakahisa clan."

That was encouraging. "My first thought was that it might be possible to drain chakra boost or jutsu. I know that you can't 'see' or drain seals so maybe it wouldn't work, but—"

Noburi cut him off with an upraised hand and a shake of the head. "Doesn't work. I've tried draining Akane's Elemental Mastery effect and gotten nowhere." He shrugged. "I mean, maybe it's possible that I could learn to do it, but it sure didn't feel like it. I had no awareness of the technique's boundaries at all. As far as I can tell it's only living chakra systems that I can affect. The idea about draining the chakra boost out of someone is interesting though."

"Good," Hazō said, pleased to have contributed something. "My second thought was that perhaps you could learn to use medical ninjutsu—or any ninjutsu—through mist. For example, if you could manifest your Water Whip from anywhere inside the mist cloud, or use medical ninjutsu to blind a target or cut their tendons...."

"That...would be pretty insane," Noburi said. "I'm honestly not sure how I feel about it; I like using my ninjutsu to heal, and using it to harm...well, I can't say the idea hasn't crossed my mind, but it seems wrong. Still, it would be one insanely powerful trump card. I'll work on it, just to see if it's possible. Thank you, Hazō."

"You're welcome." For a brief moment he considered bringing up his other, more out-there, ideas. Then he decided it would be better to end on a strong note. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help with the training. I'm happy to be a test victim if you need one."

Noburi's grin would have sent most patients fleeing in terror. "I'll keep that in mind."

o-o-o-o​

As he retreated from the conversation with Noburi, Hazō considered whom he should speak to next. He had something to bring up with everyone on the team so it didn't make too much difference. In theory it could all happen as a group discussion but that seemed fraught with peril right at the moment. No, anything that complicated the social situation was to be avoided.

Which made the answer to 'who next?' very plain: you didn't get much more socially uncomplicated than Kagome-sensei. The fact that the man in question was currently sitting on top of their shelter making explosives and glaring out over the desert just made things easier.

The sun was going down, its lower edge slouching onto the horizon like a fat drunk dropping onto a tavern bench. Kagome-sensei was glaring at the bloody orb as though it had betrayed him personally.

"May I join you, sensei?" Hazō asked carefully. Kagome-sensei had been even twitchier than usual since The Incident, although he'd been tripping over himself to make sure he didn't seem even remotely threatening to Minami.

"Is it okay if I secure the perimeter tonight, Minami? I won't if you don't want me to. It'll be safe though, I promise. I can tell you—show you! I meant show you exactly where everything is. I'll go through first, so you know it's not a trap. And I can leave some of it out if that's better. My normal perimeter would be a dozen Lesser Barrier Formations, one hundred and forty four explosives, twelve implosion seals on ten-meter spherical detection arranged to—"

"It's fine, Kagome. Go secure the perimeter."

"Are you sure? I promise I'm not going to blow you up or anything. The explosives are only for the perimeter. Hazō could watch me set them up if you want, just to check that I'm not trying to kill you and make it look like an accident. Would it help if I told you how I would do that so you know that I'm not doing that?"


The conversation had not been satisfactory for anyone involved. Fortunately, Minami had been more amused and exasperated than terrified and angry. Whether that said more about her enormous reservoir of forgiveness or her miniscule reservoir of common sense...well, that was an open question.

"C'mon up," Kagome-sensei grunted. He budged over a few unnecessary centimeters, less to actually make room atop the relatively spacious roof and more to indicate the invitation.

Hazō settled down next to his teacher. "How's it going?"

"Way behind," Kagome-sensei grunted, glaring at the small stack of tags in front of him. "Running low on explosives after those crocabunnies swarmed the perimeter three nights ago. Didn't get as many made today as I should've."

Having known Kagome-sensei for more than twenty minutes, Hazō did not bother getting nervous. Kagome-sensei's definition of 'low on explosives' was not quite the same as that of other people. "Let me help," he said instead, pulling out his own stack of blanks and writing materials.

They worked together in companionable silence for a while until the spreading shadows made it too difficult to see the blanks they were drawing. To Hazō's surprise, Kagome-sensei did not jump up and rush inside to where he could use an oil lamp without alerting everyone within twenty miles to their presence. Instead, the man carefully put his equipment away and then lay back, fingers laced over his stomach as he gazed up at the stars. Hazō settled in beside him, likewise enjoying the quiet and the solitude as the minutes drifted by.

The sky was crystal clear except for a few wispy clouds drifting in front of the moon—more giving it a glow than actually obscuring it. The stars were out in force, a gleaming and haphazard carpet of diamonds across the firmament. The desert was silent, the faint noises of the team in the building below them the loudest thing for what seemed like thousands of miles.

"I know it's not easy," Kagome-sensei said quietly.

"Hm?"

"Me. Not easy having me around."

Hazō looked over in shock. "Sensei, that's not true! You're—"

"Don't lie."

Hazō stumbled to a halt, his tongue tripping over itself at the melancholic certainty in his teacher's voice.

"I'm always scared and suspicious and I have a tactically crippled mind, always reacting with explosives. I know that." Kagome-sensei's gaze was locked on the infinite wheel of the stars above them. His voice was calm and soft and sounded as though it came from far away. "I'm too clumsy with people, always saying the wrong thing and getting us in trouble. I don't think ahead enough. I know all that. All I ever wanted was for us to be safe, for you to be safe. You and Mori and Wakahisa and Ishihara; you mean the world to me. Knowing that I almost destroyed everything...."

Hazō stayed silent, frantically scrambling for a response. What did you say to that? It's fine? It wasn't fine. You'll do better next time? What did that even mean?

"We know," he said finally. "We know that keeping us safe is your top priority. No one doubts that. And we're grateful."

Kagome-sensei grunted doubtful acknowledgement. He stared fixedly at the stars and definitely did not look at Hazō.

There needed to be something more here. What would Mari-sensei have said? Something not judgemental, but still guiding in the right direction. "It's just...maybe you could teach us, instead of doing it for us?"

The older man laughed bitterly. "Like a good teacher would. Sure."

Hazō flailed for an answer and couldn't find one. Kagome-sensei had a host of problems, but self-doubt had never been one of them. What did he say?! Kagome-sensei was the reason the team was alive and citizens of Leaf, but in ten seconds he'd nearly undone everything they'd been working towards since going missing.

The silence lasted just a little too long; Kagome-sensei sat up abruptly and pushed himself to his feet. "Anyway, sorry. You know, for being crazy and stuff. Gotta go. Need to check the perimeter." He leaped off the shelter and into the night.

"Sensei, wait!"

It was too late; the older man had vanished into the shadows. Hazō could have caught up to him, since the perimeter wasn't that big. Somehow, this didn't seem like the moment.




XP AWARD: 4

This update covered one day.

This update is extremely short because I spent almost the entire day on new-apartment-related things like buying a shower curtain and food and unpacking boxes. The plan was good—well-written, easy to work with, and interesting with some real options for character development. I had intended the second scene to be the actual discussion with Kagome that was in the plan, but when I started writing it he had different ideas. I'm cutting it here because it's 9:14pm and I need to drive over to my friend's house to post this and pick up my shiny new cable modem (which has in theory arrived!) so that I will not need to drive over there the next time I want to see the internet. :>

This coming Thursday (June 8) is a little up in the air. @Velorien is still traveling so he won't be writing it, and I haven't had a chance to talk to @OliWhail yet. OliWhail might write it, I might write it, it might be a continuation of this plan, it might be a lore update—we'll see. It depends on energy levels of those involved and on how much time we all have for worldbuilding (cf questions about the Minami clan) and other QM-ish duties.

My suggestion would be that, instead of working on a short-term action plan, y'all use this chance to think about the longer term. Some specific suggestions:

  1. OOC: Are there particular mechanics you'd like to see? (jutsu, combat styles, etc)
  2. IC: You're the son of the Hokage; you can leverage that by asking him for particular assignments, assets, jutsu, etc. What do you want to ask for?
  3. The hivemind's ultimate goals appear to be 'uplift the world' with a dash of 'watch the world burn' thrown in. (Looking at you, @Radvic and @Dark as Silver!) If you (the individual human currently reading these words) haven't solidified your objective then this would be the time to do it. In particular, if you did manage to achieve your victory condition, what would the world look like after you won?
The GMs are currently shorter on CPU than usual, so if there are mechanical issues that you'd like addressed (new jutsu, combat styles, etc), then it would be great if you could vet them for us before submitting them for approval. Try to break them and then patch the holes. Give us an "Explain Like I'm 5" breakdown on how much extra power the style/jutsu/etc would grant. Someone did that recently with a 'Roki lets Hazō save this many XP to get to 72 dice, Youthful Fist lets Akane save this many, etc'. It was very well written and really, really appreciated. (Apologies for not remembering who wrote it; I will edit in your name as soon as I find it.)

Okay, I'm off!
 
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Kagome is the long-term we should all think of right now.

Therapists aside, this man needs a full intervention, and as quickly as possible.
I don't think he'll do anything to himself? But it's certainly possible. Tactically crippled mind, threat to his teammates...
Yeah, we need to do something right now.
 
To be frank, I think he would leave them his seals, maybe on a neat at safe distance from the blast site?
He's pragmatic enough to notice that little fact. Though he did just complain about insufficient amount of seals, so that's an argument against him 'leaving'.
He most probably will be more withdrawn and depressed now though.
The fuck is wrong with you.
Too soon? Too soon.
 
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Our long-time friend and ally is currently seriously depressed and more than likely contemplating suicide and you guys are talking about how to divvy up his shit.
 
Agreed. We should probably point out how he has saved our lives, how he is damaged but it is also partially our fault because we weren't accommodating. Also suggest that he won't have to go on missions like this in the future.
I'm more of the opinion that we need to talk with the others ASAP and get them to say these things.

Because we are Kurosawa Hazou, master of the legendary Foot-in-Mouth Technique.
 
I'm gonna be frank here: I have no idea what a high level technique looks like mechanically, so I have no idea how to make one up. Which kinda sucks because Noburi has both the control and the chakra capacity to use them. Any chance of getting examples here, @eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail? Don't stress over it if you don't have any non-spoilery ones handy.

That aside, some goals for the other characters:

Kei: Kick her fucking bloodline's ass and get it to beg for mercy.

Akane: Kick the moon's ass and get it to beg for mercy.

Hazou: Kick physics's ass and get it to beg for mercy.

Kagome: Kick his cocktail of mental illness' ass and get it to beg for mercy.

Mari: See above.

I'm more of the opinion that we need to talk with the others ASAP and get them to say these things.

Time for best girlfriend to shine.
 
The hivemind's ultimate goals appear to be 'uplift the world' with a dash of 'watch the world burn' thrown in. (Looking at you, @Radvic and @Dark as Silver!) If you (the individual human currently reading these words) haven't solidified your objective then this would be the time to do it. In particular, if you did manage to achieve your victory condition, what would the world look like after you won?

There is no 'won'. We can't fix all the world's problems, or make all of the elemental nations conform to our way of thinking.

That's what Akatsuki tried to do, with some sort of massive weapon.

That's what Obito and Madara tried to do, with mind-control illusions.

Thats why the ending of Naruto, in which the good guys won and everybody was going to be happy forever, resulted in basically the same world as before the war.

My definition of winning is the people we care about are safe, and happy. The People we meet are generally better off for having net us.

As the adopted clan of the leader of the most powerful group in the world, we've already won in terms of power and influence. All that's left for us is the character growth necessary to stop jeopardizing Noburi's future.

Oh, I guess beating up the current threats to our influence (Mist, whatever is going on with Naruto) is important too, but there'll always be some threat somewhere, so it doesn't really play in to my concept of 'winning'
 
'Winning' is a multi-generational effort, not something that could be achieved within one's lifetime.

Immediate priority, is to prevent WW4 and reduce the probability of another breakout of war for the next generation.
 
It's Heath Ledger's Joker glowering at the camera with the meme text: And I Thought *My* Jokes Were Bad...
Thanks. But considering that he's literally a guy that makes jokes out of killing small children, I would've thought this was right up his alley.
Our long-time friend and ally is currently seriously depressed and more than likely contemplating suicide and you guys are talking about how to divvy up his shit.
Friend and ally my left foot. He's a fictional character, not a person.
 
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@Vecht, no. I made a joke about Kagome, @faflec took offense, and we've spent enough time beating this dead horse.

As for your jokes about dead people--personally, I've got no problem with jokes about fictional characters dying. If they're about actual people, then I wouldn't enjoy them.
 
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The obvious win-condition isn't defeating Akatsuki or faffing about with politics indefinitely; that's not dreaming big enough.

First we marry (at least) Ino and use solve the current crisis so that Hazou becomes the next Hokage (either after Jiraiya;s emergency term is up, or after Jiraiya retires; I'm not picky).

Then we use our influence and newfound nation-wide resources to secretly construct Seal-based spaceships so that we can establish at least one orbital habitat (also powered by seals; constructing high altitude Zeppelins will test a large portion of the systems necessary for spaceflight). We have best political wife use her clan's techniques to vet everyone involved so no one can sabotage our efforts. (Sidenote: for even better vetting, we will need Noburi or someone in our clan to marry someone important from the Hyuuga clan (Hinata maybe?) so that we can verify that each person is not under some mind-affecting technique with cheating bullshit eyes. Noburi himself can check them for possible chemical or other medical effects on their persons.)

Then we vet everyone we deem worthy of joining us in paradise and seclude ourselves in LEO.

That's when we drop rocks (yay MEW!) on everyone who disagrees with us declines our most generous offer for joining our utopia.

After that we can either recolonize the smoking crater that is the Elemental Nations or fly off into space and terraform some other planet, or both.

If we still need something to do, we can try finding Hidden Whirlpool and tell them it's okay to come out again or conquer them, w/e.

Now if we want to 'win' over multiple generations... well, we'll think about that after we 'win' in this generation. Let's not get too ahead of ourselves.



This way we get to blow up the world and save it too! Everybody gets what they want!

Everyone's happy, right?
 
I didn't say you make jokes about dead babies. I said you make babies be dead, and call it a joke. No, not you--your avatar, the Joker.
I don't think so. I think babies generally in the rare cases where they appear are largely incidental or part of the setup for another joke. They don't have class like faflec said. Children on the other hand do have class.
...Dead baby jokes? Really?
Please. My jokes have class.
If you insist on such propriety then I will ask
 
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