Partial Action Plan Framework: "Shutting the Fuck Up Until We Learn To Stop Deepthroating Our Knee"
  • Not merely realize but really internalize that we suck at social and need to stop trying to do so much of it.
  • Provide a "mental buffer" that can automagically suspend future getting-us-killed phrasings despite what action plan wins in the future.
    • This means we keep our fat mouth shut, because while we were with Akane just now we did it over and over again just after meeting with the doctor. Why yes I'll risk my life for you, like just happened, I've learned absolutely nothing and am addressing a symptom. See that? Sure, it's romantic maybe. But we're hurting people and we just voiced again in that doctor's hospital the same error we just made, and Akane's crying.
    • Stop overexplaining things. Our big rants are what give us the trouble. Automatically cancel votes to provide details not asked for, and to do so with entire paragraphs rather than a few words, until we demonstrate the ability to stop eating crow or vote that proposition revoked.
  • We need to provide Keiko some support. Preferably of the silent kind for reasons above. She went hella deep into her bloodline just now to the point where she was losing the will to even finish the words to save her own life. We almost lost Keiko. I'm willing to bet she was locked in her room considering for a long time the best way to abandon an existence that she couldn't feel any desire for anymore.
  • We are no longer "in charge" of Team Uplift, to whatever degree we even were in the first place. We are the lowest of the low. We don't get to vote on where we go or what we do from now. We ask the others, as tersely as we can, and then do what they say. Any grand future plans are on hold.
  • Stop forcing episode ends just so we can get another round of saying the wrong thing in.
  • Any action plan longer than this should probably be voided also.
 
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What's there is fine. The part that's bothering me is the mandate that the update must end at a specific point -- it sharply reduces my ability to be creative and offer new plot hooks. I know it's not intended this way, but my kneejerk reaction to it is "so, what, I'm just a typist monkey now?"
My suggestion to you for that is you say, "No, you don't get to decide when an episode ends."
 
I'm sorry, I know this is a serious and frankly pretty dour post, but this fucking title has me giggling like an idiot.
Partly traumatized, crushed-ego, and self-deprecating is the proper mood for our actions and their result. The title is meant to be read by Hazo with a self-directed sense of spite. Because damnit, this happens.
We get in trouble for talking, and we try to talk our way out of it. We do the thing, catch shit, and then immediately do the thing twice more. We never seem to actually get that we're fucking up. Never update our behaviors, just immediately forget the lesson as soon as we've escaped the test by the skin of our teeth.
So I'm making a voting plan to pre-emptively eat other voting plans, and perhaps ICly that takes the form of minor traumatic event where when we next TRY TO SCREAM ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUTH AND GRITTING OUR TEETH TO PLEDGE VENGEANCE AGAINST LEAF DOCTORS we instead choke on our words in fear that we're about to murder everyone we love and instead just shut the fuck up.

We did threaten the doctor. We did mean to and frankly I'm surprised Jiraiya let us get away with that blatant lie. Seriously look back at that. We're gritting our teeth rabid, not carefully plotting to just move Akane somewhere else. As if we had that right. And we treated Jiraiya like an equal we should be reasoning with and standing up to. Why, because we saw Inoue get away with it? Because we didn't think at all? So yeah.
 
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eaglejarl said:
What's there is fine. The part that's bothering me is the mandate that the update must end at a specific point -- it sharply reduces my ability to be creative and offer new plot hooks. I know it's not intended this way, but my kneejerk reaction to it is "so, what, I'm just a typist monkey now?"
My suggestion to you for that is you say, "No, you don't get to decide when an episode ends."
@eaglejarl That's completely understandable. I'd never looked at it that way before.

Meh. I deleted that original post in order to think about it a bit more and discuss it with the other GMs before I engaged on the topic; I see that I wasn't fast enough.

Thanks for the understanding, folks.
 
Meh. I deleted that original post in order to think about it a bit more and discuss it with the other GMs before I engaged on the topic; I see that I wasn't fast enough.
Thanks for the understanding, folks.
Hey. If there was a write-in for one of my quests to "end the update if X happens", I'd lol my ass off and then make troll updates where the X happened in the first line.
Before finishing with the rest of the update.
 
Anyway, here's an in-progress action plan.

[X] Action Plan: We're FREEEEEEEEE!

Goals:

1. Don't Die
2. Go Underground
3. Rest & Recuperate

Methods:

Phase 0
  • When the team is spending time couped up in the guestroom for three days, Hazou didn't stay idle. He did things to prepare for the journey:
    • By reading, collating, and taking notes on the countries we might be going to in the future.
    • By reading books and self educating himself.
  • Follow Mari's lead in OPSEC. If Mari says we can't discuss where we are going beyond a vote, that's what we're doing. If she say to discuss in full details, that's what we're doing.
    • Especially for Phase 1, don't argue with her if she shut us down.
    • We know that Konoha spies are watching and listening to our every move anyway.
    • It doesn't excuse us from not talking to our team, because our survival in the wild take priority over any imaginary Konoha faction who wishes us ill.
  • Hazou can't get to feel sorry for himself. He must do what is needed to increase our chance of survival.


Phase 1
  • Discuss with team beforehand where we want to go. Ideally, this occur during the three days we spent cooped up in the guestroom, not in earshot of the escorting team.
    • Hazo will use the hivemind's list of border nations, notes gleamed from Merchant's Gazetteer, Mari-sensei's lecture, and other source and books to lay out options for the team.
    • Express concern about hunter-nins who may be hunting the team after the Hot Spring and Arikada mission.
    • The team together will decide where we go.
    • In spite of his reservation, Hazou will voice support for Iron. Below is a list of reason why:
      • No hidden village
      • No important ninja
      • Post-Liberator hunter-nins are gone
      • We know the land.
      • Kagome really know the land.
      • Hashimoto-sensei can finish teaching Noburi medicine
    • Furthermore on Iron, express concern that our old haunts might be watched by Mist Intelligence and spies not from Jiraiya's network.
  • During escort:
    • Make sure Kagome don't do anything stupid or rash.
    • Be courteous. Say nothing unless addressed.
    • Be on alert for threats.
  • Once a bit past the border(5-10 km~) and no escort, execute SOP:LRM.
  • Before setting up camp, discuss relocating to somewhere else as soon as possible. E.g. Move from Tea to one of the islands south, maybe even Sea. Or move from Iron to Snow.
    • It does not have to be done right away, but hunter-nins may be abound, especially if we are in Iron.
  • Keep moving until Mari-sensei judged a good spot to set up camp. Ideally, Mari-sensei will choose a site with:
    • Defensibility
      • More room: More maneuverability.
      • Elevated from surroundings: Prevents enemies from attacking down upon us.
    • Camouflage:
      • Away from civilization/roads/natural resources: No reason for people to go through here.
      • Surrounded by natural barriers: Trees, rocks, hills prevent visual upon us.
    • Given our tendency to run over fight camouflage should be considered moreso than defensibility.
    • If in Iron, it should not be near the same village or town.

Phase 2
  • Set up camp. MEW shelter. Camo. Make seal traps and regular traps, set watch schedule. You know the drill. Follow Kagome's direction. He knows how to make a defendable camp. (We don't have a base-building SOP)
    • Express concern with patterns of base-building being used to identify where the team has went all over the Elemental Nations, especially with Hazo's use of MEW.
  • For nearby locations(such as towns, farmhouse, etc), Mari will decide how to execute the Intel Checklist. It shall be done discretely and in henge. Follow Mari's instruction.
  • Suggested activities(ordered by priority):
    1. Find time to talk to Inoue Mari about Hazou's personal mistakes and fixing the team.
      • Hazou knows that "sorry" doesn't cut it.
      • Hazou is painfully aware of his lack of political and social skills.
      • Hazou wants to fix this flaw, but doesn't know how. He wants Mari-sensei's explicit help on this.
      • Out of Kagome/Keiko/Noburi's earshot, ask for advice from Mari-sensei on how to repair relations with the rest of the team.
        • If Inoue Mari's advice are contrary to all the other apology plan, override them with Mari's advice. Otherwise, Mari-sensei's advice should guide/complement our existing plan.
      • Find Keiko and Noburi and talk to them about Konoha
        • Hazou express trust for their judgement and that he should had asked for help.
        • Hazou noticed how much both enjoy their stay in Leaf.
        • Hazou apologize for the bonds he broken and the opportunities lost as a result of his behavior.
        • He knows that no amount of 'promising' will help him earn their trust back.
        • Nonetheless, Hazou will do everything he can to increase the team's survival and to prevent the kind of mistake that happened back in Konoha. He will do this by:
          • Treating everyone with respect, especially those who are his bosses
          • Learning to control his emotion
          • Learning how politics work
        • Find Kagome and apologize for not being careful enough. Explain the specifics:
          • Hazou should not be complacent when Kagome told him bazillion of time not to do so.
          • Hazou should not be dangerously incompetent in areas where it should be Hazo's relative strength, such as not pissing off an S-rank nin.
    2. The team do an After Action Report on the Konoha clusterfuck and the Arikada mission.
      • Do it when Inoue Mari said so. Do not be pushy on the team.
      • Everyone will take their own notes individually.
      • Each member of the team will provide a full and detailed report from their own perspective. They will not talk to each other to avoid contamination of opinions and details. This is hugely important for avoiding bias, false memories, etc.
      • In a team meeting, combine and collate details, talk about how the missions go, what they did wrong or right, how they can do better, etc.

    3. Start on training plans.
      • If we are in Iron and If Noburi goes into Yuni to study medicine:
        • Express concern of Hashimoto's location being compromised by Mist Intelligence, unless this is already addressed in Phase 1.
        • Hazo still support Noburi's desire to study medicine, but he is worried for Noburi and the rest of the team's safety by going to a known location.
        • If the team decide to go for it anyway, prep a security plan with the team. An additional member of the team may be needed in-town to watch Hashimoto's location while Noburi train.
        • Be careful not to step on the toes of any agents of Jiraiya who may be residing in Yuni. Usually, this means reporting any suspicious persons, and letting Mari handle it.
    4. The team destress for one-two days other then camp maintenance and security.
Contingencies:
  • Be polite and courteous.
    • If part of our plan results in not being polite or courteous, override that part of the plan.
    • Ignore this contingency if a threat appears, and speed of warning is more important than phrasing.
  • Be alert.
    • Keep an eye out for threats.
    • Alert the team if a threat appears, and Hazo is the first to notice.
 
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Hey guys, I'm new. Just caught up a little while ago. I love the quest. Sadly I've not had the time to read all 1.5k pages, but hopefully I've read enough not to do a Hazō. I've had this on my mind for a few days, but now seems like a good lull to write it out in (not least because I've finally caught up, though).

I'm new here so I'm pushing my luck by starting with a rant. But I really don't want this team to die early, so I'm saying what I think should be said.



You were in the safest environment you've been in since you became missing-nin. You nearly died. Something is fundamentally broken about how you're approaching things. This should not happen.

Kagome makes you put up wall after wall, shield after shield of protection when you want to play with seals. The safer sliver of seals, that is, because anything else is off the table before you even design the things. He just says nope. Can't try that. Too risky.

How many of you think this is a character flaw?

So how about jumping into a house guarded by a ninja of unknown, but terrifyingly high power, with an unknown but undoubtedly significant array of defensive seals? What was the escape plan? Sadly I wasn't there, but I can search the archives.

If things go bad, abort mission and escape the premises

Would Kagome say "If things go bad, abort sealing and escape the premises" suffices as an escape plan?

But you know what really made it bad? We had a perfectly feasible, relatively safe alternative. We wouldn't have had to abandon our mission, we could have just taken it slow. Don't Be Stupid And Get Rich Quick. We could basically print cash with the amount of ice we could make. And it's safe. At least in the sense that Hazō's Iron Nerve makes sealing safe. For what it's worth, this is still feasible. If ice is rare, there's going to be demand for it everywhere. I'm sure a lot of villages would like food preservation, even if we can't find another quite as rich establishment to split profits with.

Yes, crazy fights with Jōunin are cool and offer a lot of rewards. But so is researching seals that make people fuse into one Uber Ninja. Either you find a way to do it safely or you don't do it at all. When you're lucky, you ace a mission. When you're unlucky, you die. The later costs 100x more, and is no less likely than the former. That is not a trade Kagome would make.

Here's another half-a-plan. You capture someone covered in seals, with skill far greater than your own in sealing. And you let them run next to you. With no plan. Kagome should have killed her then. A certain someone would be a bit healthier for it.

How many of Jiraiya's favours are worth a 10% chance of one of your teammates dying? Because from what I can see it's a hell of a lot, and treating a walking biohazard like a 10% chance of death pretty much guarantees you're under that Happiness Genjutsu. You're making the wrong bets. You *owned* that sealmaster. Imagine what would have happened if you weren't so lucky.

You either have a plan, or you don't take the risk. This should be obvious. Kagome says it all the time, and you've admitted you know full well that his behaviours are well adapted to ninja life.

Then we get to the whole Kabuto business. Remember when Jiraiya soundly beat the team? Remember how that made the next step so much easier? So why, when Kabuto does exactly the same to us, is our first step to make him our enemy? It's not like Kabuto did anything wrong. He demonstrated that he was a good ninja. Woe is us, for Akane's lifeline just demonstrated his competence.

Seriously, why? Best case, everyone ignores us. Worse case, Kabuto gets pissed and actually starts using the massive leverage he has. Note that we basically can't retaliate, because if we win the game and Kabuto finds out then he actually has a reason to kill us, and if we lose the game then all we've done is lost our chance of minimizing the damage he can do.

Then we involve Jiraiya. That's not actually a bad plan, if we treated Kabuto like a threat and approached it like Ninjas. We don't say "here are all the reasons our inferences are unfounded, oh and also we've got all the more reason to be biased about this because of how irrationally we think when our friends are in perceived danger". You say that you feel uncomfortable about the amount of power he has over your team, and that you would appreciate a safety net if Kabuto does end up demanding more than you can muster.

Worst case, Jiraiya takes offence and your team uses up some of his immense generosity. Note how this is both less likely than him taking offence at a full-on conspiracy theory and much less of a terrible outcome than dying.

And let's talk about this generosity thing for a moment, because some of you somehow don't get it. You are missing-nin. Nobody owes you anything. Jiraiya, however, on first contact did nothing but allay your concerns, teach you an extremely valuable diplomatic principle of power (which you've repeatedly soundly ignored) and offer you a lucrative job.

You are now allies with Jiraiya. Many ninja would literally die for a chance at that, never mind missing-nin. Jiraiya lead to you meeting Akane. Who is a missing-nin of the Leaf's. Who Jiraiya somehow never once threatened. Jiraiya lead you to one of your teammates getting a summoning scroll. Which ended up furthering the political bonds between you two. Jiraiya casually accepted being scammed, despite having the knowledge to do most of what you gave him for free. Jiraiya gave you a second chance. The Mist never did.

And yet, somehow you treated this like it was earned, rather than a miraculous fountain of luck, and that somehow Jiraiya was now your piece to play with impunity.

The fuck-up wasn't when you said those dumb words. The fuck-up was much more fundamental, much more intrinsic and a lot earlier than that. Risks can pay off, but they can also fail. And then you die.



Here's how I view your future plans.

You should say that you are going to stay low key for a while, out of both an understanding of your team's naivité and out of concern for making things worse for Jiraiya. You recognize that you are missing-nin and should act like missing-nin, not lighthouses. This should be stated as an expectation, not a specification, since you do not want to claim or exercise any authority.

You offer to do something for Jiraiya gratis, if he can think of something low key where failure is inexpensive and unlikely to become a noticeable event. You do not pressure this point, and should offer on your own behalf, not the team's through appropriate choice of pronoun. Espionage is a perhaps a good idea, as you are deniable assets that sorely need practice in the matter, and espionage generally does not prevent you from working on your own plans in the meantime.

You have broken your team's trust, and have ruined many things for them. They have the right to be pissed. You do not just speak platitudes at them; they are not idiots and they understand the situation at least as well as you do. They will open up to you when both you and they are ready to do so. This is a situation you shall prepare for, but not force. For the immediate future, stick to factual, utilitarian conversation, and be open about the fact you are doing so. Where feasible, you speak to others through your team, until they are able to trust you again to directly be a public face (which, hopefully, will not be all that long).

Your escape plans are terrible. Luckily, they are getting better as time goes on. I believe you are now effectively able to build a near-invulnerable, silent cube in the sky, and any other strategic location, sense through it to a limited extent, and provide it with breathable and clean air for extended periods of time. These cubes, if suitably hidden, can be silenced to aid escape into them (preferably though Kawarimi or similar high-speed techniques), and enemies can be waited out, especially from up high. Your options for handling the worst-case are improving, and considering them should be an immediate concern. Testing these ideas is a valuable short-term goal.

Your new skills seem infinitely abusable, but to follow up on this I will need time to think things over.

What Would Kagome Do? becomes a new personal motto when planning.
 
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Posting this from discord:

So iron nerve is supposed to be good for manufacturing seals and we have a ton of sealing paper now. Let's make a massive pile of seals and give them to Jiraiya. If we aren't his only team of disposable assets I imagine arming them with seals isn't easy. Since styles can be recognized leaf probably wouldn't want such people running around with a large supply of seals made by their sealmasters. Since we're deniable assets this isn't a problem for our seals. So we give Jiraiya a large amount of seals as a peace offering and then ask if he'd be interested in exchanging money for the service in the future.
 
You offer to do something for Jiraiya gratis, if he can think of something low key where failure is inexpensive and unlikely to become a noticeable event. You do not pressure this point, and should offer on your own behalf, not the team's through appropriate choice of pronoun. Espionage is a perhaps a good idea, as you are deniable assets that sorely need practice in the matter, and espionage generally does not prevent you from working on your own plans in the meantime.

Agreed on doing stuff gratis for Jiraiya. I was thinking seal inventions, but @Kalkin mentioned mass-producing some seals for him and passing them through an intermediary, and that's not a bad idea either. (Especially seals harder for non-Iron Nerve sealmasters to make.) Passing on information, sealed chakra animal samples / bodies of enemies, also seems good. (And these are all things we can do in combination with other plans, and involve stuff we should be making/acquiring anyway.)

I'm not sure the farewell scene is a good time to hash out the specifics of complicated gifts to J, but maybe the QMs would be willing to have the discussion retroactively take place earlier? Otherwise, I say we just do the stuff once we're settled in, and pass it on when we get back in contact.
 
[X] Action Plan: Honeyed Knee, Version 1

Goals:

  • Survive.
  • Leaf Leaf without incident.
  • Go where our team decides.
  • Make a base.
Methods:
  • Leave Leaf.
    • Speak when spoken to, and then only as much as necessary.
  • Go where our team decides.
    • Follow the lead of our team. Absent that, follow the lead of the escort team. Absent that, keep Hazo's mouth shut unless spoken to or a threat appears.
      • After we've separated from the escort team, follow SOP for long-distance travel barring orders otherwise.
      • Additional details can be added here.
    • Pay attention. Watch out for approaching threats (ninjas, chakra monsters...)
      • Additional details can be added here.
    • If our input is requested for final location choice, suggest the location in the winning Destination Subplan.
  • Make a base on arrival.
    • Use MEW to make standard fortifications.
    • Help Kagome set up the appropriate traps.
    • If our team has a different plan for base construction, follow that instead.
    • Look over our Intel Checklist for any nearby locations.
Contingencies:
  • Be polite and courteous.
    • If part of our plan results in not being polite or courteous, override that part of the plan.
    • Ignore this contingency if a threat appears, and speed of warning is more important than phrasing.
  • Be alert.
    • Keep an eye out for threats.
    • Alert the team if a threat appears, and Hazo is the first to notice.
 
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[] Action Plan: Honeyed Knee, Version 1

Goals:

  • Survive.
  • Leaf Leaf without incident.
  • Go where our team decides.
  • Make a base.
Methods:
  • Leave Leaf.
    • Speak when spoken to, and then only as much as necessary.
  • Go where our team decides.
    • Follow the lead of our team. Absent that, follow the lead of the escort team. Absent that, keep Hazo's mouth shut unless spoken to or a threat appears.
      • Additional details can be added here.
    • Pay attention. Watch out for approaching threats (ninjas, chakra monsters...)
      • Additional details can be added here.
  • Make a base on arrival.
    • Use MEW to make standard fortifications.
    • Help Kagome set up the appropriate traps.
    • If our team has a different plan for base construction, follow that instead.

Contingencies:
  • Be polite and courteous.
    • If part of our plan results in not being polite or courteous, override that part of the plan.
    • Ignore this contingency if a threat appears, and speed of warning is more important than phrasing.
  • Be alert.
    • Keep an eye out for threats.
    • Alert the team if a threat appears, and Hazo is the first to notice.
I'm OK with this.
[X] Action Plan: Honeyed Knee, Version 1

E: also OK with this
[X] Action Plan: We're FREEEEEEEEE!
 
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Contingencies:
  • Be polite and courteous.
    • If part of our plan results in not being polite or courteous, override that part of the plan.
    • Ignore this contingency if a threat appears, and speed of warning is more important than phrasing.
  • Be alert.
    • Keep an eye out for threats.
    • Alert the team if a threat appears, and Hazo is the first to notice.

I stole the contingencies for my plan.

Also, we have SOPs. Use them.
 
I'm not sure the farewell scene is a good time to hash out the specifics of complicated gifts to J, but maybe the QMs would be willing to have the discussion retroactively take place earlier? Otherwise, I say we just do the stuff once we're settled in, and pass it on when we get back in contact.

I was thinking of just asking. Given the whole point was the hierarchy being messed up, taking the initiative seems the wrong way around. If he doesn't have a task off the top of his head, he would at least appreciate the gesture.
 
Hmmm...

This could be a truly staggeringly awful idea, or kind of a good one, but what if we went hunting for bloodline ninja and brought Kabuto back a tissue sample as a gift. It would help improve relations there massively, and when word got around Leaf that we'd done something significant for that doctor we accidentally threatened, it would win J back some credibility ("You see! Those missing nin weren't unstable pricks after all!).
With apologies for the vulgarity...

[A few weeks later...]

Random Nin 1: My uncle's roommate told him that his teammate, from the Koroshi no Shouben clan, picked up this hot redhead in a bar, only to wake up in a bathtub of ice, and there was, like, a note telling him to see a med-nin 'cause his kidneys have been taken!

Random Nin 2: Yeah, Koroshi no Shouben's, like, the worst bloodline, man.

[Meanwhile, elsewhere...]

Noburi: The things I do to atone for Kurosawa's mistakes! This has got to be the most degrading application of medical ninjutsu in the history of...

Keiko: Actually, a more degrading application of medical ninjutsu took place in the year of...

Hazou: It's not like either of you had any better ideas!

Kagome: These kidneys are no good. The stinkers must've put a Caged Co- [sees Inoue making an ix-nay gesture] Caged Rooster Seal on his... never mind. Point is, we need to grab a stinker from the main branch.
 
[X] Action Plan: We're FREEEEEEEEE!
  • Hazou should indicate his approval of Tea, which is the safest place currently available (to our knowledge).
  • When making a base, I think you mean "Camo" not "Cameo".
  • Probably not the best idea for us (i.e., Hazou) to laze around after the clusterfuck (also, probably not best idea to use that phrasing: use destress).
    • The rest of the team has justifiable reasons to relax. We are the source of the fuckup; we should respond accordingly by working overtime to help the base/team. Get the feeling if we laze around it'll look bad on us.
  • After-Action Report should be us and us alone, TBH. We're the ones that fucked up, we should hold the blame.
    • That also means we should probably have one written down, damn.
I'll start up on SOP for base-building, hopefully it'll be decent.
 
I was thinking of just asking. Given the whole point was the hierarchy being messed up, taking the initiative seems the wrong way around. If he doesn't have a task off the top of his head, he would at least appreciate the gesture.


I wouldn't have any problems with this happening earlier. It just feels like a blanket question that's going to require a broad answer--it depends a lot on where we're going and how big of a favor we're talking. I'd be fine asking him about a few specifics: if there are seals he'd like a lot of, for example. (I'd also prefer stuff like that, that's in line with our "ambassador" cover. It's probably not a big deal if we break that in front of the escorts, but it would be nice to show him we can do ninja professionalism.)
 
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