Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

faflec · Dec 27, 2016

OliWhail said:
Anybody have thoughts about what the twitch was for?

She probably noticed that her love for Mari led to her saying that she didn't give a fuck about the rest of the team and subsequently running away from the team in the Summoning Realm?

eaglejarl · Dec 27, 2016

OliWhail said:
@eaglejarl could I request a CounterBot tally?

I'm at a friend's right now, but will post it when I get home.

Saint said:
I think your analysis of Rock Lee is missing out on something really important. Namely that his verbal expressions are treated by the characters extremely different than how you are treating it. I would liken it to a gratuitous amount of puns rather than rape. Rape is a physical action, which is punishable under law. Puns are something that people groan over, but have a kind of appreciation for, especially when someone is so dedicated to it.

I hope that maybe my opinion on the matter sheds some light? I don't really understand your post very well or its deal.

He did a masterful job of making it hard to recognize that he was trolling, didn't he?

Anyway, I'm glad the Rock Lee thing comes off the way you describe it; it would have worried me if more people had bought in. That said, we shouldn't feed the troll.

Traiden · Dec 27, 2016

[X] Training Noburi: Sneaky Medic
[X] Training Keiko: Sneaky Wind
[X] Training Hazou: Sneaky MEW

Cariyaga · Dec 27, 2016

OliWhail said:
Anybody have thoughts about what the twitch was for?

It could also be her realizing that the analogy is apt for the elemental nations as well as what @faflec mentioned.

[X] Training Noburi: Sneaky Medic
[X] Training Keiko: Sneaky Wind
[X] Training Hazou: Sneaky MEW

QTesseract · Dec 27, 2016

OliWhail said:
Y'all... there are [jk] votes for a reason... pls...

If I was joking, I would use a JK vote tag, yes.

Also:
[X] Training Noburi: Sneaky Medic
[X] Training Keiko: Sneaky Wind
[X] Training Hazou: Sneaky MEW

Kiba · Dec 27, 2016

[X] Training Noburi: Sneaky Medic
[X] Training Keiko: Sneaky Wind
[X] Training Hazou: Sneaky MEW

Kalkin · Dec 27, 2016

Proposal for a Prototype Railgun (not really a railgun)

We make a hollow cube with a tube sticking out the top. It needs to be entirely one object and preferably not held together by glue.
We make a cap that fits onto the tube with an airtight seal and enough room on it to put a 5-seal barrier tag. Preferably not cork though if MFD has cork that could work.
Figure out a way to put a gas into some PMYF seals.
Find a really heavy and dense object that fits in a PMYF seal.
Put a 5-seal barrier on the box/tube thing.
Get the 5-seal barrier for the cap ready so that we can activate it ASAP.
Drop the PMYF seals filled with gas down the tube after they've been activated with as long a delay as possible on them.
Slap the cap on and activate the 5-seal barrier on it.
Run like hell.
If it doesn't explode run some ninja wire as far from the device as possible and then come back and attach it in such a way that we can destroy the 5-seal barrier on the cap from a distance.
Slap the PMYF seal with the heavy/dense object on top of the cap.
Run while timing how long until the PMYF seal will release. Use the ninja wire to break the seal on the cap just before this happens.
You hopefully have just launched the cap with the PYMF seal on it off of the device at an insane velocity. When the heavy/dense object appears it will have the same velocity but far more mass. Or maybe the cap and seal were obliterated.

Saint · Dec 27, 2016

eaglejarl said:
I'm at a friend's right now, but will post it when I get home.

He did a masterful job of making it hard to recognize that he was trolling, didn't he?

Anyway, I'm glad the Rock Lee thing comes off the way you describe it; it would have worried me if more people had bought in. That said, we shouldn't feed the troll.

I am still not convinced he was trolling, as text is, in general, i think, very very difficult to communicate through. I tend to assume the best of people, especially when through text, as I have a fucking whirl of a time trying to communicate effectively myself, sometimes.

Saint · Dec 27, 2016

[X] Action Plan: Clear Communication no Janitor

Goals:

Keep the team alive, healthy, and free

Stay in the good graces of Leaf in general, and Jiraiya / Team Asuma / Auntie in particular

Methods

On-screen

Try to repair the damage from our outburst yesterday

Apoligize to the team at breakfast, apologize to Team Asuma when they pick us up in the morning (especially to Sarutobi), and request a brief stop at the library so we can apologize to Auntie. We hope everyone will be understanding about why we were so distressed, but admit that we overreacted. Tell Inoue / Asuma / Auntie that Hazou would like to help out at the library tomorrow to help make up for his outburst.

Because we sincerely are sorry for causing a scene, raising tensions, damaging the books, and disrespecting Sarutobi

Plus, Kagome and Auntie can be nerds together if we go back to the library.

Plus plus, helping out will let Hazou see what sections and subjects are available.

Continue making friends!

Talk to Nara about what we read in Vol 1 so far, especially its overall philosophy of history (driving forces, factors that make a nation strong or weak), any references to cooperation between nations and the difficulties thereof, and any instances of significant contributions by civilians (most of which probably got largely ignored or had credit taken by shinobi, Hazou figures.)

To show our investment in his recommendation, and because he seems enthusiastic about it.

Keep chatting with and getting to know Ino. If there was art from the museum trip that we liked but didn't discuss with her, mention that. Maybe ask what it's like being from such a well-known family; must be nice in some ways, but the pressure and danger have to be tough to deal with too. Keep an eye out for chances to give sincere compliments.

Hazou knowing he has feelings for Akane is no reason to be less friendly to Ino, and she's fun to talk with and be around.

Daily visit to Akane.

Continue light topics by default, including the library and printing press, good times from the past (beach episode, games, fun sparring and snowball fights, if we haven't before then mention how impressed J was with the towers she helped build). If her conviction that she is not good enough, remind her that she did much better in that most recent fight than we did.

To help keep her mood up! Because she is important and we want our important people to be happy!

Let her know we're happy that Keiko's been getting along well with Tenten. Ask her what she meant about "not just Neji, but Tenten" being on Lee's team; what makes her so special?

Because she'll be happy because Keiko's happy, and it's worth getting what info we can about an enigmatic ninja and a new friend of the team's.

Did she know about this printing press thing the Nara clan came up with that can make exact copies of books?

That's so cool!

If she seems up for it or brings it up, apologize for leaving without clarifying what we meant yesterday. Hazou was flustered and not sure how to bring up his realization that by any reasonable definition of romance, he has romantic feelings for her. (Relay as much of his internal musing as is relevant.)

We really need to clear up any confusion created by that parting shot in a mature way.

Hazou wants to be by her side, but not more than he wants her to be happy and strong and to protect the bond they share, including protecting it from Hazou's own immaturity (as evidenced by the library, and his own difficulty in recognizing his feelings).

Talk to Inoue and Jiraiya

First talk to Inoue about Kabuto and bringing his behavior up to Jiraiya. The idea being that Kabuto is either one of two things. 1. Kabuto is supposed to be doing everything he can to find out about all of you, and is supposed to be very good at it, even if that means indirectly, maybe, threatening Akane. 2. Kabuto isn't supposed to be doing any of these things and Jiraiya might be able to help or will find the information valuable.

Then talk to Jiraiya with Inoue so she can give her impressions as well. Stress that whether it is option 1 or 2 Akane is very precious to our team and we are willing to go pretty damn far to keep her safe.

Maybe don't do any of this until we are able to or decide on giving the plans for the Towers, because that would be a great follow up to the Kabuto converstion. It paints us in a good light, it demonstrates our usefulness, and it very indirectly shows off that we are powerful.

Offscreen

Inform J we're ready to discuss rewards when he has time.

Either by a note or by word of mouth.

So that we can get our rewards, several of which may involve training and so will be more helpful the sooner we get them.

Reference the rewards discussion and utopia question plans in Contingencies if he calls us in this update.

If we can afford an Akimichi Lore book, get it for Kagome (possibly on the way to the library?) If we can't afford that, get the woodworking book. If we can't afford either, wait until we get paid. While shopping, see if any of the games Akane mentioned are available, and how expensive they are.

Get some actual stealth training done. As awkward as being around Gai and Lee is, Hazou is willing to put up with it if others would like to train with Team Gai again.

Kei seems to have found a kindred spirit in Tenten (quiet weapons user), and we want her to be happy.

We really really really need actual stealth training, not sparring. If Lee objects, make up some nonsense about it being unyouthful to risk injuring others with unnecessary fights when you could both simply go on your ways.

At least begin learning Akane's song request, ideally before visiting her. Ask Inoue and/or Team Asuma to help, since Hazou doesn't know the song.

Noburi should offer Kabuto the chance to observe us learning techniques in the next couple days. If his barrel isn't finished, that should probably happen tonight.

Continue deliberate de-stressing activities (stretching, meditating, hot bath, read more of Volume 1).

I'd really like to add the idea of talking to Jiraiya about Kabuto. Namely that he is making people nervous and this is either according to plan, in which case, we understand and we are happy to be of use to him to make sure Akane is safe, or this is not according to plan and that means Kabuto is doing some scary stuff that Jiraiya doesn't know about despite us being Jiraiya's... guests? Mercenarys? Something?

I don't know if its okay for me to actually insert stuff into someone else's plan or what the way of going around this is like.

@OliWhail What's the procedure here?

Also, even if it doesn't get changed
[x] Action Plan - Clear Communication no Janitor (Now includes a section I added)

Edited: Added a section of talking to Jiraiya and Inoue. I think it would be super useful to have that section, but even if its removed and doesnt make it to the plan, I still support the Clear Communication no Janitor

Langevin · Dec 27, 2016

Kalkin said:
Proposal for a Prototype Railgun (not really a railgun)

The propellant doesn't have to be a gas if that would require too much research--it can also be a quickly evaporating/sublimating liquid/solid, or just something that would provide a lot of energy (like explosives).

For ease of sealing, we'd ideally have multiple reactants that are inert by themselves but react explosively (or just use explosive tags with timers, if that's easier to mass-produce).

@Saint, you can copy OliWhail's plan (easiest to Reply to it and remove the quote tags) and add in the action you want, probably under Onscreen. If that's too much, it'd still be useful for you to write the action up in the "what - how - why" format, so he can add it in more easily if he decides to.

FWIW, I'm pretty worried about Kabuto too, and I think a lot of people are. Thing is, K is in a position of no small power and influence as head medic, and he's on the Arikada interrogation (which could turn up all sorts of dangerous/useful info). Which means either J trusts him with those positions, or he couldn't stop K from getting them.

Now, Akane's health is important to us and J, and there's a chance he'd be willing to step on K's toes to help her out. (Especially if our team gives him a believable ultimatum.) But he'd need evidence, and it's hard to see how we could get that. That's why I'm in favor of Noburi checking on Akane, at least to confirm K's statements about her rest requirements and likely term of stay. (K could easily have fucked with that a bunch while she was in operation, though, so it's a low-value but fairly low-cost test.)

If you can come up with a plausible way to get evidence of tampering, or decent evidence based on what we know already, I'm happy to move forward based on that. But as is, going to J at best tells him to be wary of something he can't do much to check or prevent without stepping on K's toes, and at worst insults his ally who's a respected Leaf higher-up in his own right. (And who's treating one of our friends and giving another valuable training.)

Kalkin · Dec 27, 2016

Langevin said:
The propellant doesn't have to be a gas if that would require too much research--it can also be a quickly evaporating/sublimating liquid/solid, or just something that would provide a lot of energy (like explosives).

For ease of sealing, we'd ideally have multiple reactants that are inert by themselves but react explosively (or just use explosive tags with timers, if that's easier to mass-produce).

I'm a CS major who hasn't taken physics in a while. I got the impression that compressing a liquid would put the pressure at levels more likely to lead to failure from searching google (I doubt the QMs will let it actually be indestructible). ~~Explosives in a set up meant to direct and aim the force could easily work but I couldn't think of a way to launch the tag using them.~~ Nevermind, after a bit of google I think the same set up could work with explosives instead of gas.

gbear605 · Dec 27, 2016

[X] Action Plan: Clear Communication no Janitor

eaglejarl · Dec 27, 2016

Kian said:
Meta post

One of the things I like the most about this quest is that when you cut away all the pretensions and ostentation it still provides the reader with the very same formula of memes, slice of life segments and a generous helping of trolling /shitposting that make the online experience of reading a story so special.
It is the kind of fic that often makes a spectacle of being dismayed and snobish about the competition and takes such pride in placarding the high quality content. But there are always hints of incredulity and suspicion regarding the sincerity of the action. Like a possible willful disprepancy between intention and execution.

This story is a bit like a restaurant that makes fun of your mothers sausage rolls, turns around and then, instead of serving you a rack of lamb or a perfect beef wellington presents you with a plate of "assemblage de saucisson en croûte". All the while managing to keep such a straight face you simple can't decide if they are sincere or merely fucking with you. And that is absolutely hilarious.

Let us take our quest masters for example. At first glance they are your typical young liberals with your few mandatory dashes of regurgitated sjwisms and few tiny pinches of EUPHORIA glimpsing through a fairly polite and even mannered persona.

They are the guys who take offence even indirect rape jokes and who have publicly bemoaned the results of the American elections.
Then they turn around and give us a gift like Rock Lee. The guy who likes to make people unconfortable using a aggressivly advertised faux (?) homosexuality and sexualized language. The guy who is dropping homo entendre after homo entendre and cares for nothing but his own enjoyment at his targets expense and discomfort.

They gave us a guy who would tell a thirteen year old child to climb unto his tower of manliness so that they may engage in wild and sweatbreaking endeavour until the flame of his youth bursts forth and warms Hazou's insides with the viscous contentment of accomplishment.

They gave us a guy who, despite said minor repeatedly voicing and showing his distress and disgust with his antics simply ignores the wishes of his targets and despite his negative reaction to and explicit plea to cut it out continues regardless, or even (a)roused by the protests. The fact his target is, in our case, a child barely entering puberty makes the contrast stand even more out. Finally, the notion that Rock Lee's behaviour could actually be unintentional, merely natural for him, and that this described behaviour, is just the way some (possibly) gay people express themselves, seals the deal on the characters hilarity. He has become mfds very own Ped(r)o Barboza.

The worst, most damaging gay stereotypes played straight for laughs fits perfectly in the above mentioned scenario. What do they really believe? What is the narrative behing the narrative? Are their occasional comments lapses of jugdement or drama bait or a accentuation due to juxtaposition? (In this case: We condemn rape jokes... look at our funny rapey character) I like that after all this time and reading almost 500k words of content I still haven't quite figured out how they tick. I don't plan on doing it either.

TLDR:
To our quest overlords: I can't figure out if you are awesome by design and intention or by happenstance but dont change and continue the way you are! You keep this thing, fresh despite and engaging despite the crippling lack of agency a narrative about being tiny lights in a very big and cold world often necessitates.

Keep on rockin and thank you!

Saint said:
I am still not convinced he was trolling, as text is, in general, i think, very very difficult to communicate through. I tend to assume the best of people, especially when through text, as I have a fucking whirl of a time trying to communicate effectively myself, sometimes.

I'm not completely certain, but I'm pretty sure. You don't typically use the term 'SJW' for someone you respect, nor do you accuse them of being 'dismayed and snobish [sic] about the competition', nor apply the 'EUPHORIA' meme, nor accuse them of writing pedophilia, nor a few other things.

Still, the fact that we're actually discussing whether or not he was trolling indicates that this was masterfully written. I really have to salute the guy; it's honestly a pleasure to be trolled this well.

Okay, CounterBot incoming.

eaglejarl · Dec 27, 2016

CounterBot, version 1.5

Plan name: Clear Communication no Janitor
Voters: @Cariyaga, @gbear605, @Kiba, @Killer_Whale, @Langevin, @MadScientist, @OliWhail, @rkyeun, @Saint, @Traiden
Num votes: 10

Plan name: Lore Update: History of the Elemental Nations, Vol. 1
Voters: @bayesclef, @Chronocide, @faflec, @gbear605, @Jello_Raptor, @Radvic, @Solonarv, @thamuzz, @will408914
Num votes: 9

Plan name: Training Noburi: Sneaky Medic
Voters: @Cariyaga, @faflec, @Kiba, @Langevin, @OliWhail, @QTesseract, @Traiden
Num votes: 7

Plan name: Training Hazou: Sneaky MEW
Voters: @Cariyaga, @Kiba, @Langevin, @OliWhail, @QTesseract, @Traiden
Num votes: 6

Plan name: Training Keiko: Sneaky Wind
Voters: @Cariyaga, @Kiba, @Langevin, @OliWhail, @QTesseract, @Traiden
Num votes: 6

Plan name: Plan Velorien
Voters: @gbear605, @QTesseract
Num votes: 2

Plan name: Simple Rewards
Voters: @Citrus, @Radvic
Num votes: 2

Plan name: Not-Velorien
Voters: @Langevin
Num votes: 1

Number of voters: 20

schlega · Dec 27, 2016

[X] Clear Communication no Janitor

Langevin · Dec 27, 2016

Kalkin said:
I'm a CS major who hasn't taken physics in a while. I got the impression that compressing a liquid would put the pressure at levels more likely to lead to failure from searching google (I doubt the QMs will let it actually be indestructible). ~~Explosives in a set up meant to direct and aim the force could easily work but I couldn't think of a way to launch the tag using them.~~ Nevermind, after a bit of google I think the same set up could work with explosives instead of gas.

You're right, liquids are hard to compress--I was thinking of storing liquids at or near boiling in vessels put in seals, which we can do with current PMYFs. Release -> they boil. Better yet would be liquids with boiling point below room temp, which we could produce and store in specialized facilities (or with Akane using Elemental Mastery), then release to have them quickly boil. Best would be materials that combine to quickly expand / provide energy, but that's not too different than explosive seals and probably more difficult to mass-manufacture.

I think a bunch of explosions should work, as long as they're evenly spread and (especially) evenly timed. At worst we might get some directionality besides "out the tube" for the projectile, but if we engineer things right it shouldn't be too much. (I think--I'm not an engineer

)

Saint · Dec 27, 2016

Langevin said:
The propellant doesn't have to be a gas if that would require too much research--it can also be a quickly evaporating/sublimating liquid/solid, or just something that would provide a lot of energy (like explosives).

For ease of sealing, we'd ideally have multiple reactants that are inert by themselves but react explosively (or just use explosive tags with timers, if that's easier to mass-produce).

@Saint, you can copy OliWhail's plan (easiest to Reply to it and remove the quote tags) and add in the action you want, probably under Onscreen. If that's too much, it'd still be useful for you to write the action up in the "what - how - why" format, so he can add it in more easily if he decides to.

FWIW, I'm pretty worried about Kabuto too, and I think a lot of people are. Thing is, K is in a position of no small power and influence as head medic, and he's on the Arikada interrogation (which could turn up all sorts of dangerous/useful info). Which means either J trusts him with those positions, or he couldn't stop K from getting them.

Now, Akane's help is important to us and J, and there's a chance he'd be willing to step on K's toes to help her out. (Especially if our team gives him a believable ultimatum.) But he'd need evidence, and it's hard to see how we could get that. That's why I'm in favor of Noburi checking on Akane, at least to confirm K's statements about her rest requirements and likely term of stay. (K could easily have fucked with that a bunch while she was in operation, though, so it's a low-value but fairly low-cost test.)

If you can come up with a plausible way to get evidence of tampering, or decent evidence based on what we know already, I'm happy to move forward based on that. But as is, going to J at best tells him to be wary of something he can't do much to check or prevent without stepping on K's toes, and at worst insults his ally who's a respected Leaf higher-up in his own right. (And who's treating one of our friends and giving another valuable training.)

I agree with everything you said regarding Jiraiya and Kabuto. However, I see no drawback in informing Jiraiya now, that way if anything bad or suspicious happens we don't suddenly, after the bad things happens, THEN go to Jiraiya and be like, "we don't trust Kabuto". Much easier to convince someone if you first say you are suspicious, then something suspicious happens, rather than in the opposite order. And while I think you are correct in that nothing will immediately come of this, I think not doing it has a negative outcome and doing it has no negative outcomes and maybe several positive ones.

Blazinghand · Dec 28, 2016

[X] Simple Rewards

will408914 · Dec 28, 2016

[X] Action Plan: Clear Communication no Janitor

Langevin · Dec 28, 2016

Saint said:
I agree with everything you said regarding Jiraiya and Kabuto. However, I see no drawback in informing Jiraiya now, that way if anything bad or suspicious happens we don't suddenly, after the bad things happens, THEN go to Jiraiya and be like, "we don't trust Kabuto". Much easier to convince someone if you first say you are suspicious, then something suspicious happens, rather than in the opposite order. And while I think you are correct in that nothing will immediately come of this, I think not doing it has a negative outcome and doing it has no negative outcomes and maybe several positive ones.

Oops, yeah--looking back, I misread what you meant by "according to plan". I think going to him isn't inherently negative, but we should take a lot of care not to say anything that would potentially offend him if he does trust K. And there's a non-negligible chance what we say makes it backs to K regardless, as well.

Also, I'm not sure what you mean when you say you added something to OliWhail's plan--I don't see a new post by you, and you shouldn't be able to edit OliWhail's original post. It seems like our J meeting will most likely be the update after this one, though, so you have some more time to refine plans and win people over before then.

Saint · Dec 28, 2016

[X] Action Plan: Clear Communication no Janitor

Goals:

Keep the team alive, healthy, and free
Stay in the good graces of Leaf in general, and Jiraiya / Team Asuma / Auntie in particular

Methods

On-screen
- Try to repair the damage from our outburst yesterday
  - Apoligize to the team at breakfast, apologize to Team Asuma when they pick us up in the morning (especially to Sarutobi), and request a brief stop at the library so we can apologize to Auntie. We hope everyone will be understanding about why we were so distressed, but admit that we overreacted. Tell Inoue / Asuma / Auntie that Hazou would like to help out at the library tomorrow to help make up for his outburst.
    - Because we sincerely are sorry for causing a scene, raising tensions, damaging the books, and disrespecting Sarutobi
    - Plus, Kagome and Auntie can be nerds together if we go back to the library.
    - Plus plus, helping out will let Hazou see what sections and subjects are available.
- Continue making friends!
  - Talk to Nara about what we read in Vol 1 so far, especially its overall philosophy of history (driving forces, factors that make a nation strong or weak), any references to cooperation between nations and the difficulties thereof, and any instances of significant contributions by civilians (most of which probably got largely ignored or had credit taken by shinobi, Hazou figures.)
    - To show our investment in his recommendation, and because he seems enthusiastic about it.
  - Keep chatting with and getting to know Ino. If there was art from the museum trip that we liked but didn't discuss with her, mention that. Maybe ask what it's like being from such a well-known family; must be nice in some ways, but the pressure and danger have to be tough to deal with too. Keep an eye out for chances to give sincere compliments.
    - Hazou knowing he has feelings for Akane is no reason to be less friendly to Ino, and she's fun to talk with and be around.
- Daily visit to Akane.
  - Continue light topics by default, including the library and printing press, good times from the past (beach episode, games, fun sparring and snowball fights, if we haven't before then mention how impressed J was with the towers she helped build). If her conviction that she is not good enough, remind her that she did much better in that most recent fight than we did.
    - To help keep her mood up! Because she is important and we want our important people to be happy!
  - Let her know we're happy that Keiko's been getting along well with Tenten. Ask her what she meant about "not just Neji, but Tenten" being on Lee's team; what makes her so special?
    - Because she'll be happy because Keiko's happy, and it's worth getting what info we can about an enigmatic ninja and a new friend of the team's.
  - Did she know about this printing press thing the Nara clan came up with that can make exact copies of books?
    - That's so cool!
  - If she seems up for it or brings it up, apologize for leaving without clarifying what we meant yesterday. Hazou was flustered and not sure how to bring up his realization that by any reasonable definition of romance, he has romantic feelings for her. (Relay as much of his internal musing as is relevant.)
    - We really need to clear up any confusion created by that parting shot in a mature way.
    - Hazou wants to be by her side, but not more than he wants her to be happy and strong and to protect the bond they share, including protecting it from Hazou's own immaturity (as evidenced by the library, and his own difficulty in recognizing his feelings).
- Talk to Inoue and Jiraiya
  - First talk to Inoue about Kabuto and bringing his behavior up to Jiraiya. The idea being that Kabuto is either one of two things. 1. Kabuto is supposed to be doing everything he can to find out about all of you, and is supposed to be very good at it, even if that means indirectly, maybe, threatening Akane. 2. Kabuto isn't supposed to be doing any of these things and Jiraiya might be able to help or will find the information valuable.
  - Then talk to Jiraiya with Inoue so she can give her impressions as well. Stress that whether it is option 1 or 2 Akane is very precious to our team and we are willing to go pretty damn far to keep her safe.
  - Maybe don't do any of this until we are able to or decide on giving the plans for the Towers, because that would be a great follow up to the Kabuto converstion. It paints us in a good light, it demonstrates our usefulness, and it very indirectly shows off that we are powerful.
  - Major stipulation is to not try to sully Kabuto's reputation, just report what happened, and how it is making us a bit nervous. We are just providing the facts of what happened, and I think Jiraiya would know if we were lying.

Offscreen
- Inform J we're ready to discuss rewards when he has time.
  - Either by a note or by word of mouth.
    - So that we can get our rewards, several of which may involve training and so will be more helpful the sooner we get them.
  - Reference the rewards discussion and utopia question plans in Contingencies if he calls us in this update.
- If we can afford an Akimichi Lore book, get it for Kagome (possibly on the way to the library?) If we can't afford that, get the woodworking book. If we can't afford either, wait until we get paid. While shopping, see if any of the games Akane mentioned are available, and how expensive they are.
- Get some actual stealth training done. As awkward as being around Gai and Lee is, Hazou is willing to put up with it if others would like to train with Team Gai again.
  - Kei seems to have found a kindred spirit in Tenten (quiet weapons user), and we want her to be happy.
  - We really really really need actual stealth training, not sparring. If Lee objects, make up some nonsense about it being unyouthful to risk injuring others with unnecessary fights when you could both simply go on your ways.
- At least begin learning Akane's song request, ideally before visiting her. Ask Inoue and/or Team Asuma to help, since Hazou doesn't know the song.
- Noburi should offer Kabuto the chance to observe us learning techniques in the next couple days. If his barrel isn't finished, that should probably happen tonight.
- Continue deliberate de-stressing activities (stretching, meditating, hot bath, read more of Volume 1).

Changes are in red.

@OliWhail I made some changes!
@Langevin Here it is in the correct format and whatnot

Added a section of talking to Jiraiya and Inoue. I think it would be super useful to have that section, primary purose is to make sure if Kabuto does do something suspicious we have already relayed suspicion so that any more circumstantial evidence has more weight. But even if its removed and doesnt make it to the plan, I still support the Clear Communication no Janitor.

[x] Action Plan - Clear Communication no Janitor (Now includes a section I added)

Edit - I don't actually care if its Onscreen or Offscreen, it just made more sense to me for it to be Onscreen. If anyone does care, feel free to change that or specify to Velorien or EagleJarl

Killer_Whale · Dec 28, 2016

If you don't use a unique name for the plan, it will be ignored.

Dictator4Hire · Dec 28, 2016

[X] Lore Update: History of the Elemental Nations, Vol. 1

Mari did say not to give Akane a speech, but to have a conversation about her and Hazou's relationship with the poor girl. He needs to discuss with her how they should proceed together since acting as equals is a fundamental requirement in healthy relationships.

I unfortunately do not have the time at the moment to commit to critiquing any action plans in depth, so I won't be able to offer an alternative Akane conversation plan. I would much rather have a lore update than trying to YOLO such an important event with a shotgun proposal.

We really need to focus on one crisis at a time and Hazou's catastrophic fuck up in the library has to come first. After we have that situation resolved adequately (and we have read all of the goddamn books because that is so long overdue it makes my very essence cringe) then we can tackle the drama that is teenage love triangle shenanigans.

OliWhail · Dec 28, 2016

@Saint I expect that we will not be seeing J this specific update, so our plans don't really do different things, but for future reference if you put [X] Plan Name then CounterBot will count that as a vote for the oldest Plan Name it can find in the pages scanned. You can instead say things like [X] Plan Name v2, or [X] Plan Name Revised.

Langevin said:
Are there low-hanging fruit we should investigate while we're in Konoha and on friendly terms with a lot of people?
Even if we can't get much info easily, even a little bit could give us a sense of the big picture, and help us angle towards more promising paths.

Some thoughts:

Trading - rare/valuable goods in Leaf, especially things we have comparative advantage in

Stuff like ice that can't be found everywhere and decays in transit - easy to transport in storage seals

Rare objects we might be able to find on our travels, or have advantages in obtaining

parts of small/fast animals that Noburi can drain

Things we can make/find with seals - maybe materials that need to be mined from deep underground

People - potential friends/benefactors/uplift advocates, or people whose life details give info about the world:

Tenten and Team Gai - pacifistic, likely more compassionate than average. Already kind of friends.

Naruto - the 4th's son, super powerful, and Team Asuma seems to be on first-name basis with him.

Tsunade, Orochimaru - we've already seen Jiraiya, what about his famous teammates? We've already Leaf's head medic, and it isn't the renowned Sannin med-nin; why not? (Tread carefully here.)

Culture

What do Konoha nin think of civilians, and the idea of treating them well?

Our status

How important are Leaf's other big movers and shakers relative to Jiraiya, and who are they? Can we count on our freedom and continued position as his deniable assets because he likes us and finds us useful there, or will that change if/when someone else decides something else about us? How can we worm our way into such someones' good graces?

Are there hunter-nin actively tracking us? Jiraiya might know if there's a bounty on us, but he'd probably tell us if it was likely to interfere with our operations as his assets.

Akane

Is Kabuto being on the up-and-up about her hospital time and the restrictions she needs for her health? He let us visit her for way more than ten minutes last time--after we helped him experiment. So clearly he's being at least somewhat stricter than her health requires.

Parents - what do they value, what are their goals in life, what do they respond well to in others?

Want to cultivate good relationship with them, get them to be more amenable to Akane going with Team Uplift (and going out with Hazou)

Tail risk

Why does Kagome think lupchanzen/sky squid/etc. exist? How good is Inoue's evidence that they don't? She was a Mist jounin for a while, but it seems like she and Yagura didn't get along well, so she might not have been privy to all the dirty little secrets (I don't think she knew about scorch squads?)

Is the person we're visiting really Akane? (This is frighteningly plausible given a) Kabuto always knows when we're going to visit her and can veto a visit, b) up until last time he didn't let us spend much time with her. Last time makes it less likely, but maybe that just means the impersonator's been getting better...)

Kabuto.

Honestly I don't know what to do about this. Offering him more bloodline info in return for jutsu gets him what he wants without getting us vivisected, so that's good.

Quoting these to remind myself to discuss them more tomorrow

Velorien · Dec 28, 2016

Saint said:
I am still not convinced he was trolling, as text is, in general, i think, very very difficult to communicate through. I tend to assume the best of people, especially when through text, as I have a fucking whirl of a time trying to communicate effectively myself, sometimes.

On the contrary, I think this guy is a very skilled communicator. Allow me to demonstrate and hopefully lay any ambiguity to rest:

Kian said:
One of the things I like the most about this quest is that when you cut away all the pretensions and ostentation

This quest has lots of pretensions and ostentation. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:
it still provides the reader with the very same formula of memes, slice of life segments and a generous helping of trolling /shitposting that make the online experience of reading a story so special.

The quest is based on a formula of memes, slice-of-life segments and trolling/shitposting (which are concealed by aforementioned pretensions and ostentation), no better than any other online story. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:
It is the kind of fic that often makes a spectacle of being dismayed and snobish about the competition and takes such pride in placarding the high quality content.

This fic is emphatic about looking down on other fics and showing off how good it is. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:
But there are always hints of incredulity and suspicion regarding the sincerity of the action. Like a possible willful disprepancy between intention and execution.

You guys deliberately say one thing and do another (i.e. you're hypocrites).

Kian said:
This story is a bit like a restaurant that makes fun of your mothers sausage rolls, turns around and then, instead of serving you a rack of lamb or a perfect beef wellington presents you with a plate of "assemblage de saucisson en croûte".

This story makes fun of other stories, setting up the expectation that it will be different, and then does exactly the same thing as them but pretends it's better.

Kian said:
All the while managing to keep such a straight face you simple can't decide if they are sincere or merely fucking with you. And that is absolutely hilarious.

The QMs are either trolling or genuinely oblivious to how ridiculous their actions are. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:
Let us take our quest masters for example. At first glance they are your typical young liberals with your few mandatory dashes of regurgitated sjwisms and few tiny pinches of EUPHORIA glimpsing through a fairly polite and even mannered persona.

The QMs come across as stereotypical immature liberals who occasionally make social justice statements as mindless, hypocritical, narcissistic posturing, revealing the reality behind their normal personas (which I otherwise judge worthy, at least to a large extent).

Kian said:
They are the guys who take offence even indirect rape jokes and who have publicly bemoaned the results of the American elections.

Look how extreme and unabashed they are about proclaiming their liberal beliefs.

Kian said:
Then they turn around and give us a gift like Rock Lee.

Giving us Rock Lee contradicts the actions I just described. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:
The guy who likes to make people unconfortable using a aggressivly advertised faux (?) homosexuality and sexualized language. The guy who is dropping homo entendre after homo entendre and cares for nothing but his own enjoyment at his targets expense and discomfort.

Let me just set up the foundation of my upcoming argument in the form of objective description. Lee uses all the homoerotic innuendo because he's gay (or acts gay, but I'll be dropping this possibility shortly), and he's doing it as a form of bullying for his own pleasure.

Kian said:
They gave us a guy who would tell a thirteen year old child to climb unto his tower of manliness so that they may engage in wild and sweatbreaking endeavour until the flame of his youth bursts forth and warms Hazou's insides with the viscous contentment of accomplishment.

Oh, he's also a paedophile, analogous to real-life child abusers. By way of proof, here is a thing he could say.

Kian said:
They gave us a guy who, despite said minor repeatedly voicing and showing his distress and disgust with his antics simply ignores the wishes of his targets and despite his negative reaction to and explicit plea to cut it out continues regardless, or even (a)roused by the protests.

No, really. Rock Lee's behaviour is exactly like statutory rape, only verbal rather than physical. And since we've already established that Rock Lee is a paedophile preying on Hazō, I can even imagine him getting off on it.

Kian said:
The fact his target is, in our case, a child barely entering puberty makes the contrast stand even more out.

Don't forget: paedophile! Even worse than a normal rapist! I also either don't know or would prefer to ignore that their age difference is only one year.

Kian said:
Finally, the notion that Rock Lee's behaviour could actually be unintentional, merely natural for him, and that this described behaviour, is just the way some (possibly) gay people express themselves, seals the deal on the characters hilarity. He has become mfds very own Ped(r)o Barboza.

Let me cover all my bases: if Rock Lee isn't a paedophile, his behaviour is still awful, but now it's because the QMs are perpetuating a really harmful gay stereotype (note: still not 100% committing to Rock Lee being gay. Not until the next paragraph). They make MfD similar to this manga/anime also featuring a child-abusing martial artist who gets away with his crimes. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:
The worst, most damaging gay stereotypes played straight for laughs fits perfectly in the above mentioned scenario.

In case I wasn't clear, having a gay person act like that in fiction is really, really bad because it hurts real gay people, and the QMs are doing it deliberately.

Kian said:
What do they really believe? What is the narrative behing the narrative? Are their occasional comments lapses of jugdement or drama bait or a accentuation due to juxtaposition? (In this case: We condemn rape jokes... look at our funny rapey character) I like that after all this time and reading almost 500k words of content I still haven't quite figured out how they tick. I don't plan on doing it either.

What is the motivation for their hypocrisy? Are their occasional liberal comments mistakes that don't reflect what they really believe? Are they drama bait? Or are they there to make the Rock Lee stuff even worse than it is? (Reminder: they're being hypocritical about rape.) After reading so much of their stuff, I still can't tell why they're being so hypocritical. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:
TLDR:
To our quest overlords: I can't figure out if you are awesome by design and intention or by happenstance but dont change and continue the way you are!

If after reading this you're confused by how I'm praising the QMs for doing bad things, don't worry, I'm on your side really! I wouldn't want to call out the QMs (and by extension the community that supports them) on their hypocrisy directly and risk turning this into a confrontation I could lose, now would I?

Kian said:
You keep this thing, fresh despite and engaging despite the crippling lack of agency a narrative about being tiny lights in a very big and cold world often necessitates.

Oh, your quest also sucks because its premise results in a crippling lack of agency. But I'm on your side really.

Kian said:

Keep on rockin and thank you!

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Remember: not a troll!

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Handsome Gentleperson

Biribiri

(╯ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ╯︵ ┻─┻

(╯ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ╯︵ ┻─┻

O cursèd spite

(slouching towards bethlehem)