This Reaction Post is brought to you by the letter Q, for QMs.
Found it." Shikamaru extracted a few sheets of paper from the Nara Contingencies Folder (vol. 7). "'In the event that Orochimaru shows undue interest in a Nara kinsman or ally
Weren't we just joking in the thread about this kind of thing, with the Nara in Hashirama's time?
Though sadly this is much more high probability based on priors.
She not unreasonably threatened me with a violent death."
"I am given to understand that she does that with everyone," Shikamaru said
Tsunade DOES have a rather distinct reputation. And Kei is prone to assuming she's useless or disliked. So I do still think it has value, especially if Akane's helping to ask, especially since "non-consenting experimentation" and "messing with J's family" likely push some of Tsunade's buttons, and even beyond that she does try to be fair.
At the least, I think Tsunade overseeing the procedure or assisting is our best bet.
"I would expect so. She has had a trying few days.
We need to check in on our girlfriend y'all. I know we're stressed and in it, but it seems like she is too, and immediately calling on her support without checking in on her first isn't the kind of long term sustainable dynamic that will, admittedly, only matter if we make it to long term.
More supporting Ino time please. Though I realize this second is rather busy.
Orochimaru's pissed. Said he was going home. Wants Kei to come to his compound in the morning (like hell). Mari says she's fine. She's not. Hope she's right about you being safe with the Nara. I'm going to stay here and do the host thing and pretend you two running away is all according to plan and make sure Kagome doesn't decide to march to the Basement with his biggest explosives and Yuno doesn't do I don't even know what. Please send a message back to say you're OK.
That's a lot to process. Noburi taking care of things is needed, he's really all that's left. With our two most violent folks to keep under control. I'd read an interlude or Omake about Noburi's Unexpected Games Night.
Also, Mari not being fine is a problem. She took the brunt of that for us. Throwing Kei under the bus is a big problem, but she did just do that for us. For uplift alone, we should see how she's doing. But also, Mari's cart factor in the clan is quite high. Hazou at least has a handy Chancellor to keep track of everything, but I'm pretty sure Mari doesn't have that. A Mari who can't do her regular thing is a loss in effectiveness to the clan we can't really afford. A Mari who breaks or shifts at all towards Oro is an existential threat.
I'm open to suggestions how to actually help her.
Wait. Something clicked in Hazō's sleep-deprived brain. Those contours weren't quite right. He'd studied Leaf's best map of Rock only recently, in preparation for the Battle of Five Clans, and at that time, the border…
Oh. Oh, no.
The map wasn't facing Hazō. It was facing the Hokage.
He nearly jumped as the door slammed shut behind him. The Hokage strode in with the very patient, even stride of a man holding himself back from explosive violence. He sat down in his seat, scanned the room to make sure everyone was present, then began to speak.
"Four hours ago," he said in a controlled voice, "The Village Hidden in the Clouds invaded the Fire Country."
Yikes. This isn't completely unexpected, but this is bad. War on two fronts when we're at a low point is pretty much doom. I wonder if it was the summon assault that pushed them over the edge, or they were just waiting for us to go on the offense, or just a coincidence.
No, that wasn't quite right. It was there, in the tightness of his jaw. It was in the rigidity of his spine as he loomed over the table, his shadow somehow twice as big as that of the other ninja present. It was in the fixed stare he gave them one by one, as if to say, "The time for games is over". Looking him in the eye, Hazō felt a sudden compelling certainty that Leaf's enemies had awakened a monster that would destroy them without fail.
Yes, Sarutobi Asuma was learning his own lessons from leadership in a time of crisis. This meeting would be very different in tone.
This is spooky, but in a good way. Asuma learning and evolving is what we want to see in a smart, well simulated character. Quiet Fury is a good lesson to learn, even if an Asuma who keeps a tighter grip on those he can is more likely to be harmful for us right now.
But moments right here is how generational hatred and genocide happens, I think. I know that's a weird stance, but "my family died" will always inspire hatred. But "I didn't plan on murdering all of them, and I now regret that decision" is a lesson that Asuma is learning, and that's not great for uplift. Then again, neither is multiple countries declaring war on us.
Belatedly, the implication struck Hazō. With the opening of an extra front, Orochimaru's value to Leaf had just doubled. Hazō and Kei's hadn't.
Yup. Yup. This timing is rather unfortunate. Like, the worst timing. RIP (P meaning many cross-sectioned pieces) us.
At the conclusion of this meeting, I intend to send requests for military assistance to Mist, Sand, and Isan, as well as any minor villages we decide are likely to answer our call."
The Hokage paused.
It was as if the air suddenly grew thicker, heavier. Hazō could feel a weight hanging over them, about to fall, and when it did, something would change forever.
The Hokage's words brought it crashing down.
"We have entered the Fourth Shinobi World War.
Dun dun duuuuun.
But really, this is serious. We absolutely can't afford this right now with the Dragon war. Hazou right now is as effective as a green genin. Asuma will have pretty much no patience right now. We'll see how likely our support actually is.
Cloud embracing Skywalker warfare is not at all unexpected, but still quite unfortunate. Though, using them here as they did feels more like posturing? Like, it's hard to have no survivors, but a strike with Skywalkers before we know for sure that have them could have been a decapitation strike. Maybe their thinkers did the sort of analysis Shikamaru did about wiping out Rock. But this doesn't strike me as an exterminator campaign.
The discussion regarding Sand was quite short. Nobody was under any illusions that the poorest village, at least a generation away from being able to call itself a great power again without scornful laughter, was going to the trump card that saved the day. Still, the Hokage said flatly, they would contribute what they could, even if it was only speciality Wind ninjutsu that could be used against skywalkers, or they could kiss Fire Country grain goodbye forever.
Hey, new ninjusu would be cool. More support would be better.
There was more hope for Mist. If they could get a messenger past the Cloud-held coast, Mist could join them in a hammer-and-anvil move before Cloud had a chance to dig in with lasting fortifications. In fact, the prospect of sending Ami away for an unknown length of time was in itself a significant morale boost for some of the clan heads present.
Of course, it had the opposite effect on Kei, who had now gained one attentive Orochimaru and lost one primary pillar of emotional support. Which was why, when the Hokage finally spoke the words of doom, she was in no state to fight back
Oh dear. I mean, Ami is competent and a Jonin, though I'd say she isn't yet a competent Jonin. She does have an escort, so they may be able to puncture their way through. At the least, it'll be almost impossible for Cloud to both hold a coast Mist needs, And not have Mist realizes it. Certainly, if this action negatively effects Mist, then there have their own incentive to participate, which I think is important for a proper effort.
I hope, for Vel's and Kei's sake if not my own sanity, that Ami makes it through.
Lady Nara, I am dispatching you to Isan, to negotiate reinforcements with Elder Takahashi and the Isan Council in accordance with the terms of our new military alliance."
A mission outside the village, alone but for a small escort, immediately after coming to Orochimaru's attention.
Then again, surely Orochimaru wouldn't sabotage a vital mission in wartime for purely selfish purposes?
Ha! Of course he would, if he thought it was worth it. And that's really the question, isn't it. Will it be worth it to him? Leaf is where he keeps his stuff, which is probably the biggest argument for him to care about who wins the war.
Also, the alliance likely didn't expect to immediately have to go to war so soon. I feel like they're in for a very rude awakening. Isan is likely to get decimated.
At the last second, before the decision was set in stone, a flash of utter brilliance, or perhaps utter madness, found its way from beyond the depths of the Out, onto this benighted mortal plane, through Hazō's brain fog, and to his mouth, and in a single moment of suicidal courage he decided not to overrule it.
"Lord Hokage, I think we should send Orochimaru instead."
The great and the wise of Leaf turned to look at Hazō as one.
"Lord Gōketsu," the Hokage said, that simmering controlled rage somehow much less reassuring when it was pointing at Hazō himself, "are you suggesting that we should remove one of our key guarantees of survival from this country while we are under assault by two armies hell-bent on our destruction?"
"Lunacy," Orochimaru agreed. "Send the girl. My time is too precious to waste serving as a messenger."
Hazō opened his mouth to argue back. He wasn't yet sure how yet—all he could do was to try to engage his rational brain to try to follow the mad burst of inspiration back to its origin point, where it surely made some kind of sense.
Orochimaru's gaze put an end to that notion.
Hazou is trying. From his perspective, that plan makes sense, but Asuma is unlikely to deal with any amount of selfish stupidity right now.
That night was over. He'd survived. But Hazō's will, bent nearly into snapping, wasn't ready to test itself against Orochimaru a second time. The idea of opening his mouth, of saying no to this creature that could and would crush him with a thought, was as out of his reach as the stars. He would recover. He would fight back. Hazō knew this to be true. But he also knew that, here and now, to even brush against Orochimaru's anger would bring him annihilation.
I really like this paragraph. It does a really good job of explaining the in-world effects and impacts of mental consequences and their timelines. Hazou being unable to now because he just took consequences, but knowing they'll heal eventually, but right now he's at his limit. All that in a way that still makes for compelling character reading. I dig it.
He looked to Kei's allies. Naruto gave him the usual cool look before returning to his study of the map, completely oblivious to the danger to his friend. Hazō wondered if it had ever occurred to the future-Hokage-for-certain to fear for his life outside a combat situation (or, to be fair, Akatsuki psychic torture).
Ino was looking at Kei and Shikamaru, trying to work out what was going on, but not there yet—or maybe just hoping for a cue to make sure she didn't get in the way of Shikamaru's incoming master plan.
Lady Kei was tense, unreadable.
Representative Shimura met Hazō's eyes briefly, then looked away.
Somebody, please. If it ended like this…
Hazō's eyes searched the room for someone, anyone—at this point, he'd even accept a debt to the Hagoromo—and for an instant, they stopped on the other last person he'd expect to challenge Orochimaru on Kei's behalf.
Hinata's lips had just made a perfect little "o" of realisation as she looked at the snow-white statue that was Kei.
Naruto really needs some social situational awareness training. I'm sure he got some kind of specialized upbringing, but when all your friends have both political and hard power, and your mentors are Demigods, you may not see those signals as well. Also, given how prime a target young Naruto would have been, I wouldn't even blame leaf for prioritizing making him a combat Juggernaut first. They probably just didn't account sufficiently for personality drift and Akatsuki torture.
Ino is trying, bless her.
Turns out skill reading body language plus social skill and training let's people pick up on cues quicker, who knew?
Everyone. Everyone knew.
"Suppose," Hinata said, "that just as Cloud is growing complacent due to our lack of a counter-attack, a force of hundreds of shinobi, spearheaded by Orochimaru of the Three, suddenly sweeps up the coast from a position where Leaf has no known troops. I imagine Cloud's losses would be devastating. In a best-case scenario, we might be able to drive back this wave of the invasion altogether, leaving incoming Mist reinforcements fresh to take on Rock without delay."
The Hokage nodded along thoughtfully. "You paint an appealing picture, Lady Hyūga. I, for one, have long since had enough of foreign scum carving up Fire like a pig at market while we sit back and take occasional potshots—however effective they may be." He gave Hazō an appreciative nod
Hey, recognition, nice. And putting that suggestion on Hinata makes it look like it was just us flailing, which is helpful. Forgetting to account for Isan may not completely happen, but they are still the wild card in foreign affairs.
Watch it, Shino," Naruto snapped. "I promise you, if any of them tries to lay a hand on Leaf, they'll be joining their old Kage in Naraka before you can say, 'overpowered signature technique'."
"With respect, Lord Uzumaki," Aburame replied, "even you can't be everywhere at once."
Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"You know what I mean," Aburame said peevishly.
This seems like it could have been a canon interaction, if canon was actually clever. It's nice to see, the canon we could have had if not for "Curse You Kishimoto".
Lord Aburame, your thoughts?" the Hokage asked.
"Lord Hokage," Aburame said, adjusting his glasses as if in preparation, "the original problem remains. We cannot permit ourselves to send Lord Orochimaru out of the Fire Country. Why? Because our ability to field three S-rank combatants is our main advantage in this war. If Rock and Cloud ally, or even just attack simultaneously, while Lord Orochimaru is away, the Four-, Five-, and Eight-Tails, together with Grandmaster F, could overwhelm us without hesitation. They are intelligent enough to know this."
Darn you Shino, for making... Perfectly reasonable observations about the current state of affairs
"If I may, Lord Hokage," Shikamaru spoke up in the self-possessed voice of a man who had run the calculations and would not be defied by the lesser logic of those who hadn't (Hazō knew it intimately after so much time spent around Kei and Ami).
"Lord Nara."
I wonder how much of that voice is being faked right now so Shikamaru can protect his wife?
I do not believe that this is a full-scale invasion analogous to Rock's in scope and intent," Shikamaru said, rising from his seat and leaning over past Kei to trace the lines that Hazō now understood to indicate territory no longer under Leaf control. That she stayed frozen even as he brushed past her spoke volumes.
"Note how they have ignored the northern border, a natural staging ground for pushing into the Fire heartlands, assuming they are able to negotiate with Hot Springs—something I believe they could manage in the current geopolitical environment. On the other hand, they have cut us off from the peninsula, which holds little military value to Leaf, at least that they know of, but is key to eastward trade."
Lord Inuzuka, unexpectedly the first to react, bared his teeth. "It's a bloody land grab! They don't care about Leaf—they just want to take our territory while our forces are busy on the western border!"
"Quite," Shikamaru agreed. "We have a surprisingly detailed personality profile for Grandmaster F—a legacy from the Fifth, who appears to have known her personally—and it does not portray her as a war hawk on the level of the Tsuchikage. If this is indeed an opportunistic act of territorial capture, then Cloud has no intent on spending forces in an assault on our most fortified stronghold deep in the heart of the Fire Country."
The Hokage nodded. "And land grabs are best dealt with quickly and with overwhelming force, before Cloud decides we look weak enough that a full invasion."
Huh, neat. Sort of kind of what I was thinking. Though full not good for us, and we're running out of land to have taken and forces to fight with. Both Rock and Cloud gaining utility while we lose it when the previous situation was not the stable Pax Konoha we wanted is bad.
It does also make sense. Cloud benefits from leaf and Rock beating each other, so only getting involved to the extent they still aren't the focus for their own advantage checks out.
In any case," Orochimaru said icily, "it is out of the question. I am always ready to do my duty defending Leaf, but I have essential experiments which would not survive a week or more of absence, and other projects which I would be forced to suspend." He looked briefly at Kei. She shivered minutely. "Send Tsunade. She is much more suited to negotiation, from a certain point of view."
"Did you leave your brain in your Basement, Oro," Tsunade snapped, "or is it still up your ass where you normally keep it? Every day I spend away from the hospital is a day people die. That's what happens when you're in a Sage-damned war. How about, instead, you stop playing with your toys for one damn second and do what your Hokage tells you?"
"I am always ready to do my duty defending Leaf, but"
Is truly the accurately reflective part.
Surely others at the table caught that look and shiver.
Also, being dismissive of Tsunade while also slighting her? That's a very, Very bold choice.
At least this helps reaffirm my belief Tsunade would be reasonable about helping. Probably.
S-Summoners…"
It was barely a whisper.
"I'm sorry, Lady Nara?" Hazō asked politely, but at a volume more suited to screaming, "Sealing failure!"
"Isan… reveres… summoners…"
"Of course," Hazō said, keeping his voice at the same volume because if he didn't, he wasn't sure it would come out again with Orochimaru watching. "The people of Isan revere summoners. With all due respect to Lord Uzumaki's diplomatic skills, to the Isanese he's only going to be a very charming young man, whereas Lord Orochimaru is a master summoner with obvious decades of experience."
A candle lit itself as his brain continued to stir itself from its lack of slumber. "Oh, and I should probably mention that there's an entire cult of Orochimaru worshippers which has been spreading its word among the population."
The Hokage stared at him as if he'd just asked for permission to be adopted as Mori Ryūgamine's grandson. "What."
Did we not tell Asuma about the cult? That seems relevant. Oops. But I can't believe we just maybe sort of pulled the from our butt. It feels like a desperate but clever hivemind plan, without being one. Which is well done.
Opposite Kei, Orochimaru visibly deflated. Hazō could feel his aura of menace waver like a giant snake turning out to be a heat mirage.
"Not more of those," he said wearily. "There is nothing more tiresome than being worshipped by amateurs who think one venomous prehensile tail or a handful of flesh golems makes them worthy of apprenticeship. Even killing them only encourages the rest to work harder. I had to move my laboratory three times."
The Hokage shook his head. "I'm going to forget I ever heard that. Now, with that option on the table, I want to hear alternatives."
Asuma once again with the wisdom.
But really, this is interesting. And it's double effective! Is Oro doesn't want to spend time with them, and we just agreed to adopt some of them, then it's an absolute win for us! Even if it won't do that much. Still, any weakness is useful knowledge.
Lord Hokage!" Hazō caught Asuma as the exhausted leader finally crossed the threshold of his office. "Would you mind if Kei and I had a word?"
"Hazō," Asuma said in low tones of resignation, "are you about to make my already-atrocious day even more difficult?"
"Yes, sir."
Asuma sighed. "Come in.
Glad we've hit this level of bluntness and expectation already. Saves time.
So," Asuma said, "what can I do for you that's more important than urgent countermeasures to an enemy invasion?"
I can't tell how much it this is actual irritation and how much is just him being pithy.
Sir," he began, "we have strong reason to believe that Orochimaru intends to kidnap and dissect Kei, and possibly myself. I'd like to ask you to order him not to."
Asuma took a very large swig of willowbark tea.
"Why," he asked of no one in particular, "is it always the Gōketsu?"
"Sir!" Hazō said, temper flaring. "We are in no way the aggressors in this situation!"
"I know, Hazō," Asuma said. "The fact remains: the Gōketsu have been responsible for about two thirds of the crises that I have had to deal with in my time as Hokage, in one capacity or another."
That's... Hmm. Only 2/3? We're slacking y'all. Taking out our opponents so that we're Asuma's only real source of headaches is truly the best motivation.
You two are not going to like what I have to say."
"Sir?" Hazō asked, bracing himself. Kei did not seem at all surprised.
"I'm going to be honest with you," Asuma said, "and what I'm saying does not leave this room. Is that understood?"
Hazō nodded reluctantly, not like he had a choice. Kei did as well.
"My father," Asuma said, "loved Orochimaru as a son. But when he received proof that Orochimaru was kidnapping and killing fellow Leaf shinobi, he did not hesitate to declare him guilty of treason and attempt to arrest him for trial and execution. There is no greater crime against the Will of Fire than to betray a comrade, or be complicit in the betrayal of a comrade. My father understood this."
Hope soared in Hazō's breast.
You know you aren't going to like it. Why are you getting hopeful Hazou. "Don't do that, don't give me hope"
This is the type of sentence that has a ton of weight and context that's very important, but we're going to blow right past because we're busy.
Asuma wasn't simmering with rage. Not anymore. That beast was still in there somewhere, Hazō was sure, waiting for Leaf's enemies, but right now, Hazō was just facing a very powerful, very tired man.
"If I could, I'd put Orochimaru on trial this very day. I don't have any proof that he's back to his old ways, but I'm not a fool. If that man goes through the justice of the Will of Fire, I very much doubt he'll come out unburned.
"But this village needs Orochimaru to survive. The second he turns on Leaf, for any reason, we become objectively weaker than our main threats. In a worst-case scenario, he will be adopted as you were by fools who have no idea what they're getting into.
"Today, his military value doubled. If he goes missing, and Rock and Cloud find out, they will not hesitate. With Fire's bountiful farmland as the prize, an alliance of convenience between them is such an obvious move that it's almost surprising they haven't made one already.
"For all we know," he added grimly, "they have.
"Until now, I've painstakingly avoided a confrontation between the Tower and Orochimaru. The Final Gift Programme was a blessing from the Deva Path, and I'd sincerely hoped that between that and the occasional missing-nin, we could keep Orochimaru in his Basement long enough for Leaf to stop needing him. That is still my objective, because every day Orochimaru goes without clearing his name or being punished for his crimes is a day that this village drifts further from the Will of Fire."
Hazō felt cold inside.
"Sir, if you give Orochimaru tacit content, we will be killed. And then, Leaf will riot."
"Yes," Asuma agreed. "It will. A clan head. The Nara consort. A KEI co-ordinator. I will have half of Leaf at my door, demanding that I rein in Orochimaru at once."
Asuma took another gulp of willowbark tea. It didn't seem to help much.
"You are the Hokage," he said to Hazō. "What do you do next?"
He gets moral drift and the impact on compromising and moral relativism. That's honestly the upper bounds of my hope from Asuma.
This is a very fair question. We need a good and proper answer for the path forward if we want him to follow it. Ajay "you are the Hokage, what do you do" is the sort of good prep thinking and pre-mortem exercise we should do more often, I think.
What did Hazō the Hokage do next? His instinctive response was just to say, "Rein in Orochimaru", but he suspected that if it was that simple, they wouldn't be having this conversation.
"In a direct confrontation with the Hokage," Asuma said, "Orochimaru has every reason to push his luck. If he wins, he's established the precedent that nobody in Leaf, not even a clan head, is beyond his reach. It's a prize beyond imagination. If he loses, he already knows that he can live a satisfactory existence on his own—again, assuming the taste of civilisation doesn't incline him to join one of our enemies, and sell our secrets in exchange for more corpses or whatever it is Orochimaru wants from life.
"So what do you do, Hazō the Hokage? If the clans are unhappy, the worst they can do is depose you. If Orochimaru is unhappy, the worst he can do is doom Leaf to destruction at the hands of its enemies."
Silence.
"You are asking us to die," Kei whispered.
"I order shinobi to lay their lives on the line for Leaf every day, Keiko," Asuma said. "You signed yours away when you joined the Leaf military.
"But no," he went on, "that is not what I am doing here.
"This is not, and cannot be, about Orochimaru and the Tower. This is about Orochimaru and you. In this instance, you have options the Tower does not. There are two people in this village with both the raw strength and the moral code to stand in Orochimaru's way. If they do stand in Orochimaru's way, as private individuals, I strongly doubt his pride will let him run crying to the Hokage. Even if he does, making me choose him over Tsunade or Naruto is a very different thing to making me choose him over you."
Hazō didn't know what to say.
So that's about what we had talked about before. There isn't much else to counter him, honestly. Good to know nobody has a great understanding of him though, terrifying as that fact is.
"My advice to you," Asuma said, "is to cooperate with him to the fullest extent possible. Let him examine you, or whatever it is he wants to do, in a place of your choice, with witnesses. If you want those witnesses to be officers of the Tower, I can arrange it. Maybe he'll decide that's good enough. Maybe he'll lose interest. Maybe new opportunities will arise. Deaths happen during war, and sometimes there isn't enough left of a body to recover, and Kurosawa and Mori are no exception.
"If you have any solutions of your own, I am prepared to be flexible. As long as you don't make me choose between you and Orochimaru, and as long as you don't do anything so stupid that I have to execute you myself, and as long as you talk to me before any Gōketsu-brand shenanigans, there may be room to prioritise the spirit of the law over the letter."
His voice softened. "I know this isn't fair, and it isn't what you want to hear. I dearly wish I could act to protect you, and damn the consequences. I'll even forgive, once and once only, the fact that you tried to base Leaf's military strategy on your private interests. But I am the Hokage. As my father warned me, no Hokage gets the luxury of doing what they want
Talking to him before Goketsu-brand shenanigans, when he's asking us nicely, AND willing to help, should be top of our list once we have a plan. For all that Asuma is frustrated with us and concerned about what we might do (reasonably so), he does like us, and wants to uphold his vision of Justice. That is a better starting place than most.
Honest curiosity.
@Velorien did you take the suggestion of the witnessed, supervised experiment from the thread discussion, or was it developed simultaneously by you as well?
I'll even forgive, once and once only, the fact that you tried to base Leaf's military strategy on your private interests
Yeah, let's not gloss over this bit. We did it, not subtly, even if we just came up with the idea and then let it roll. Also the sort of thing military leaders have to crunch down on if it is a pattern at all.
The gaming night ended without (further) incident. Mari claims Orochimaru didn't do anything to her, but her fingertips are trembling and she is spending the day in her bedroom re-reading Icha Icha novels.
That's... Not good.
So, recap. Hinata saved us; Kei, Mari and Ino are struggling right now for different reasons, and we have a hard situation to try and avoid being brutally murdered. Is there are reasonable, fast acting MAD option? If not, time to optimize the vivisection and take care of our loved ones?
