Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
If we are going to continue the plan (a weeks long time commitment) we should at least tie up, or better yet delegate someone to tie up, our time sensitive events and loose ends. They can even be done offscreen. Like:
Let Keiko and Naruto know we're leaving in case she has something she wants to say and so she can say goodbye
Asking Noburi to figure out what the loot we risked our lives to get is actually good for. Although he'll probably do this without us needing to suggest it.
Asking Mari to consider whether to give someone the Parade invite as a favor if it's gonna happen before we return.
Asking Keiko/Noburi to watch out for Mari's mind.
Asking Mari to consider whether giving Oro's pardon to the tower before Kabuto blackmails us is a good idea
Asking Mari/Naruto to figure out what power we have over KEI, perhaps by asking Ami
Asking Mari to talk to Ren's contact (Ami) in Leaf
Let Keiko and Naruto know we're leaving in case she has something she wants to say and so she can say goodbye
Asking Noburi to figure out what the loot we risked our lives to get is actually good for. Although he'll probably do this without us needing to suggest it.
Asking Mari to consider whether to give someone the Parade invite as a favor if it's gonna happen before we return.
Asking Keiko/Noburi to watch out for Mari's mind.
Asking Mari to consider whether giving Oro's pardon to the tower before Kabuto blackmails us is a good idea
Asking Mari/Naruto to figure out what power we have over KEI, perhaps by asking Ami
Asking Mari to talk to Ren's contact (Ami) in Leaf
- propose the idea of a student exchange program
- each village has advantages in its teaching programs
- fosters greater unity between our villages
- express an interest in continued communications via:
- messengers such as merchants
- summoner's path
- sending owls or flying animals
- if agreed have the communications system functioning before the contact leaves
- ask the contact to ask Ren to ask Hiashi to give out Leaf visas, especially one for our mom
- offer her money, seals as an incentive
- Pay well some civilians (prospects include the victims of the sealing failure and/or Akane's parents) to:
- tell us the locations/proof of death of all the new merchants who have come. Base payment for trying. Bonuses for each merchant location found/identified dead.
- read the laws on legality of buying Aito's land. Base payment for trying. Bonuses if satisfied with their summary/findings.
- figure out subcontracting. Base for trying. Bonuses if satisfied. Subcontracting: So, what specifically is stopping us from taking every mission at the desk, farming it out to KEI operatives, paying them the nominal value, and splitting the tax benefits (possibly even founding-clan level benefits) while simultaneously making clear both how horribly screwed they are and how Gouketsu and allies are the only ones who give a damn about their welfare in the face of the ultimate elitist Hokage ever?
- Use the info to
- Buy useful stuff from the merchants found.
- Buy Aito's land if feasible.
- Subcontract KEI if feasible
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- Location
- Why would this be required?
I don't think so, in fact I think this is the first time Hazo has ever even brought up the idea in quest. Then again I could be wrong.
- Location
- Potato land
I'd like to note that, to an outside observer, it looks like we specifically bought the expensive house just so we could blackmail Kabuto into joining. Shikaku's ghost must be frowning furiously over in the Pure Land.
Insofar as SiNs are a "counter" to Skywalkers, I take that to mean the strategic level. If one village has SiNs while others don't, that village is essentially unattackable. If all the villages have SiNs, they either reach a MAD equilibrium, or (more likely) the whole system collapses, as defending any large settlement becomes impossible. Skywalkers matter much less in either of these situations.
What this also proved, was the power of good leverage in a negotiation. How much better someone is at socials than you matters much less if you're holding a button capable of destroying what they want, and are willing to press it.
Insofar as SiNs are a "counter" to Skywalkers, I take that to mean the strategic level. If one village has SiNs while others don't, that village is essentially unattackable. If all the villages have SiNs, they either reach a MAD equilibrium, or (more likely) the whole system collapses, as defending any large settlement becomes impossible. Skywalkers matter much less in either of these situations.
What this also proved, was the power of good leverage in a negotiation. How much better someone is at socials than you matters much less if you're holding a button capable of destroying what they want, and are willing to press it.
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One of the best parts of this for me is that the more we have Hazou match blows with jonin social specs, the more it becomes part of his characterisation that he's someone who's capable of matching blows with jonin social specs.
... congratulations, you just made me feel like a goddamned idiot and I'm not even angry (at you)...
En process edit: oh good, an update, let's see how this turns out...
Can I just say that a post-civilizational, post-apocalypse society ruled by the secret Literati appeals to me on multiple levels?
Have I mentioned how much I love Kagome-sensei? Because, I adore Kagome-sensei. So much so that I don't feel my typical compulsion to destroy something in response to my referring to him by a title of merit. He's not only acutely useful, but the fact that we are known worshipers means that we have the political tool of simply pointing at the altar of the God of Demolitions and saying, "you know he likes us, right?"
Seriously, stop voting for me.
(-after @Lailoken beats you lot over the head to bother including it...)
Vecht
Self-Requested Ban
- Location
- Snarksville, Snarkland
But Lailoken, playing chicken with the universe is a time(lessly) honored tradition of rationalists everywhere.
[X] Continue the Plan
Vecht
Self-Requested Ban
- Location
- Snarksville, Snarkland
This doesn't jive with my intuitions, though. Individual N2 and O2 molecules are really small (like order 1e-30m^3 small), and you are unsealing them in a 4e3m^3 volume, which normally contains (checks...) 1e29 molecules of air. Increasing that number by a factor of 100 shouldn't(?) matter at all insofar as being able to find space for more really tiny things. There's a comparative metric fuckton of space to work with.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Yeah shits great.
KABUTO:... in conclusion, I will both get the cake that I desire and also the ability to eat it, and someone else will be paying for me to do so.
HAZOU: No.
KABUTO: No?
HAZOU: I didn't get what I want.
KABUTO: Yes.
HAZOU: I didn't get what I want, so you don't get to get what you want. No funding, no samples, no anything.
MARI: That's how this works. We can also make your life harder by doing clever things.
KABUTO: Uh.
HAZOU: I will also destroy what you want.
MARI: Kagome is very good at destruction.
KABUTO: Woah! Woah woah woah! Why would you do that?!
HAZOU: It's now useless junk to me, and Kagome will have fun.
MARI: A lot of fun.
KABUTO: ....! .... !!!
HAZOU: Perhaps if you consider giving me the things I want, I will entertain the idea of requesting that Kagome not destroy the things you want. Good day.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Very true. Good thing that chakra always follows the laws of math and physics, or there could have been some real risk there!
Trust me, I am so looking forward to that testing session...
Don't be silly!
...that was the goats.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
[X] Action Plan: We're Going On A Lyin' Hunt
Wordcount: 297
Not tracking wordcount super closely right now, because i'm sure i can add more clever things/optimize wordcount; in the meantime, changelog:
Naruto's been invited to our excellent adventure involving pranking the entirety of Rice.
Reduced required kill radius to 150m. 150m already requires some inventive delivery methods, and IIRC @Radvic did SIN analysis that stated that a 270m kill radius would need somewhere around or upwards 200 implosion seals to achieve, which is frankly a projectile that can't be launched 270m and thus keep the user safe. 400m would be only more ridiculous, both in the minimum payload size and "how do i avoid dying and/or failing to deliver the payload".
Expanded Guerilla civil engineering section.
Noburi is now compiling basement loot and looking for those merchants we commissioned in Leaf.
Mari has been given carte blanche to do The Thing (TM).
Open to suggestions.
- Village assignments:
- Stay for two days.
- Talk with Shikamaru about adopting an ISC medical researcher.
- Start drawing the hundreds of implosion seal blanks we'll need for testing.
- Convene Goketsu Gaming Mondays. Invite Naruto and KEI specifically.
- Look at the Toad Scroll, fully unfurled. Is it downloadable?
- Be obnoxiously helpful for Hiashi.
- Noburi:
- Keep compiling:
- Adoption candidates
- Basement loot
- Watch for:
- Mist Merchants with our seal.
- Keep compiling:
- Mari:
- Arrange backchannels with Ami.
- Do the thing with clanless "branch housing". You have carte blanche.
- Taijutsu training for KEI?
- Stay for two days.
- SINs
- Take a high ranking chakra beast extermination mission.
- Party members: Hazou, Akane, Kagome, Naruto.
- "We'll go blow some stuff up, make a few other things, and prank Hiashi on a whole new level."
- Party members: Hazou, Akane, Kagome, Naruto.
- Objectives inside Fire borders: (3 Weeks)
- Testing Stacked Implosion Nukes.
- Ensure we aren't followed. Test away from civilization.
- Follow Kagome's suggestions.
- Naruto permitted to see Implosion seals?
- Preparation:
- Create a container that we can place an implosion seal in that won't rupture when the air rushes in.
- Activate the implosion seal.
- Close the container.
- Repeat until we have a significant amount of filled implosion seals.
- Testing:
- Prepare 5SB reinforced blast shielding.
- Detonate increasing amounts of filled implosion seals stacked together until kill radius exceeds 150m.
- Salterns:
- Use MEW to wall off sections of ocean.
- Freeze with EM.
- Boil leftover brine.
- Complete land sale. Clear said land.
- Guerilla civil engineering inFire only.
- Prepare any signs in granite using inscription jutsu.
- Signs should have quotes or imagery hinting at an association to Jiraiya or Goketsu.
- Build bridges, erect monuments extolling Leaf's generosity and greatness, clear out entirely new villages, etc.
- Arrange the work so a skywalking ninja sees Jiraiya laughing.
- Prepare any signs in granite using inscription jutsu.
- Find, rebuild, and re-key Jiraiya's contacts/network.
- Use guerilla civil engineering as cover.
- Expand our contact list.
- Kill our target.
- Testing Stacked Implosion Nukes.
- Take a high ranking chakra beast extermination mission.
Wordcount: 297
Naruto's been invited to our excellent adventure involving pranking the entirety of Rice.
Reduced required kill radius to 150m. 150m already requires some inventive delivery methods, and IIRC @Radvic did SIN analysis that stated that a 270m kill radius would need somewhere around or upwards 200 implosion seals to achieve, which is frankly a projectile that can't be launched 270m and thus keep the user safe. 400m would be only more ridiculous, both in the minimum payload size and "how do i avoid dying and/or failing to deliver the payload".
Expanded Guerilla civil engineering section.
Noburi is now compiling basement loot and looking for those merchants we commissioned in Leaf.
Mari has been given carte blanche to do The Thing (TM).
Open to suggestions.
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zap lunch
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- Location
- The state of Paranoia
I suspect that you cannot unstore underwater. Water does not compress well. It's why explosives work so well underwater. Making a solid object instantly appear underwater would probably be the same as creating an explosion there.
This on the other hand, would be amazing to have. It would prevent storage scrolls from Cthulhu-ing if they unstore at a bad time, and if SINs don't work because of air somehow getting in the way of unsealing air (like Eaglejarl implied), this should fix that.
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[X] Action Plan: We're Going On A Lyin' Hunt
[x] Just 5 more minutes, Mom!
[x] Just a few hours, Mom!
Continue the plan and
[x] Just 5 more minutes, Mom!
[x] Just a few hours, Mom!
Continue the plan and
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- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Good idea, although Naruto should have seen Jiraiya use them during the USOUD.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
Are these modifications alright?
Wait a couple of days before leaving to see if Kabuto returns with a decision. If he doesn't, or decides not to accept, leave Mari with instructions to begin negotiating with Shikamaru to adopt some Nara medics into the Gouketsu.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
I can leave Mari with instructions to begin negotiating with Shikamaru immediately, but I really think that we need to test SINs and guerilla civil engineering sooner rather than later. After all, both are our partial answers to WWIV starting up, and the risk of WWIV will continue to spike for another two to eight weeks before hitting its peak approximately about the time that Rock and Cloud get their leadership struggles under control and possibly reverse engineer skywalker seals. Mist developing skywalker seals in about one or two more weeks is another major breakpoint, and we really really really need to have an idea of how to answer skywalkers before then.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Get some of Tsunade's more research inclined staff and pay her enough to train three times that many twice over.
It won't hurt us to wait two days for a response. We will still leave in the same update.
But leaving immediately for a mission and bringing Kagome with us (effectively telling Kabuto that the basement will not be purged at least until we return) will massively take the pressure off him.
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- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Do not do this. The point of developing the back channels it to have communication that Hiashi isn't aware of