Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- London
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
So have Keiko do it
As long as we don't mind risking turning Keiko into a weird Temari expy (female, ranged, wind element user with a strange weapon), I fully support this plan
Ends up married to Shikamaru...
Uh. Might be too late to avert this.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Troublesome.
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- Potato land
It occurs to me, that while Hazou's team didn't leak much info (only the fact that they could make an invisible barrier and a goo explosion) in the process of acquiring their word half, the same may not be true of the other teams. Teams from which we steal word halves have a very strong incentive to steal it back - you need your own word half in order to pass the first event. So anyone who's seen or can otherwise identify their assailants is a dedicated enemy now. I wonder if we should inform Neji of this.
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- USA
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- He/Him
Y'all are a heavy combat team, not an infiltration or tracking team. Your job is to go where your Kage says and kick the everloving crap out of everything you find there. Leave that namby-pamby sneaking around for those wusses who can't cut it in a fight.
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- Yes.
TBF we've invested a ton of XP into other skills like Sealing and Summoning.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Poor Noburi having to deal with spending loads of XP on multiple ninjutsu.
- Location
- Yes.
TBF he does get a 50% bonus on them...on the other hand he has a lot of jutsu.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I just finished eating...linner, I guess?...and I have a "no work while eating" rule, so I went back and reread some earlier stuff from the thread. This post gave me warm nostalgia fuzzies. It's amazing how far the characters have come in the ~2 years since the quest started. Even more amazing to me is the community we have here; like any group there are occasional tiffs, but overall this is one of the nicest, most mature groups that I have ever had the pleasure to interact with on the internet. Thank you all for being here.
NEJI: Let them come.
HINATA: I'm glad you feel that way, since I've been dressing up as you and having the team call me "Neji" to direct all the grief your way.
NEJI: ....
HINATA: I'm know what you're thinking... with these 'assets'? But things move at a blur in a fight, and with the right clothing... lucky you have a feminine face anyway and-
NEJI: Stop. Please. Just. Stop.
NARRATOR: But Hinata didn't stop.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
NARRATOR: Neither did the suitors.
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- USA
Is that why we talk to everyone we meet into a peaceful resolution instead of punching?
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- Potato land
Well, we can't exactly punch our Leaf allies and Mist enemies into friendship.
...
Or can we?
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
We can test the theory when we beat Nega Team uplift into a pulp
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- The state of Paranoia
That's generally how it works in canon, right?
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- Yes.
Eh, IIRC it only worked once, against Gaara. Nagato, Tobi, Sasuke...I'm pretty sure Naruto just Rasengan'd them.
Hey, maybe Rasengan is the real Therapy no Jutsu? We should totally get it from Jiraiya.
Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot about Neji. Hah.
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Essentially just thinking out loud here:
So our current goal state is "leave the exam as powerful-looking chunin with a leaf-mist alliance as soon as possible so we can get back to looking for Naruto". And that means we want to
So our current goal state is "leave the exam as powerful-looking chunin with a leaf-mist alliance as soon as possible so we can get back to looking for Naruto". And that means we want to
- Reach the tournament.
- Minimise the number of events.
- Either get Ren in a strong position so she doesn't feel a need to drag it out
- Or hospitalise/stressquit/kidnap/whatever all but 16 candidates.
- Get Leaf and Mist to get allied.
- Both Jiraiya and Ren should already be in favour of this due to Leaf and Mist's sudden relative weakness to the other villages
- So the reason it hasn't happened yet is...? Mist hardliners messing stuff up for Ren?
- Making nice with our clans probably won't help. Us hating them isn't the problem, so us liking them isn't the solution. They care that Leaf got their bloodlines and secrets and we betrayed them. I don't see an easy fix other than "J hands us over for execution".
- That in mind, can we weaken their power so they can't interfere with Ren?
- Can we do any "looking for Naruto" during the exam? Can we do espionage to steal Mist's intel on Akatsuki, for example? Or hire Yakuza to find leads for us?
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- Yes.
imb4 J-man does that.
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- Potato land
I think this is much more complicated. Leaf and Mist were basically at war up until the big fight, where both of their Kage died, and Mist's elite jounin force was decimated. The main problem here is that neither side trusts the other even on a basic level, much less to consider an alliance.
Jiraiya and Ren may independently realize the alliance would be a good idea (though keep in mind Jiraiya's plan was to "cram Pax Konoha down Mist's throat", so it may take him some time to readjust), but both their positions as Kage are tenuous, and they need to care a lot about what their powerbases think. Actually selling the alliance to the clans and the public in such a way that it doesn't make either of them look weak is the difficult part.
Also, keep in mind that we have OOC knowledge that makes us trust Ren to have Hazou and Hana's best interest at heart. Jiraiya has absolutely no reason to trust her.
The point of making nice with our clans is to have them look at us as a useful tool and opportunity to gain more power. We can only be used this way if the alliance (or some other cooperative relationship) between the villages is established. So, if they think they can benefit enough from it in relative terms, they should support it.
I imagine said alliance would include some assurances as to how what clan secrets we possess will be handled by Leaf, but that's not for us to decide or promise.
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- Yes.
WE DO!?
That sounds... iffy. I don't think they're going to see us that way, and if they did... That would basically amount to trying to control us through any connections we had before we left. Like Ami was trying to nip in the bud by spurning Kei.