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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Keiko has a serious aversion to touch and the Yamanaka psychops used the implication of her being touched by those Liberator-nin (while being tied up) as a trigger. I'm worried Mist will try to screw with her by forcing her to get tied up.
 
Is there any way we can set off seals without using our hands?

The original skywalker design called for LBFs hidden inside our shoes. Could we rig something like that to work for Banshees/A-class Explosives?
 
How big is Paanda, again? Could Hazou conceivably conceal him about Hazou's person when being taken to the next Event site? Like, he hugs Hazou's back when Hazou is wearing a loose-fitting shirt or cloak or something?
 
Maybe the Pangolin can track Shino's insect better than he can? Having Pandaa try solves the lack of Pandaa problem additionally.
 
Briefvoice said:
How big is Paanda, again? Could Hazou conceivably conceal him about Hazou's person when being taken to the next Event site? Like, he hugs Hazou's back when Hazou is wearing a loose-fitting shirt or cloak or something?
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Huh, I've been mentally picturing him as like waist-high, but I don't think I'm basing that mental image on anything.

faflec said:
Hm. Can Pandaa swim?
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Maybe, maybe not, but he doesn't need to be able to swim to stand submerged in a barrel of water and suck on a snorkel.

Wait, actually, the snout might make using a snorkel difficult.

*briefly googling*

Nah, I think he could use a snorkel.
 
Incidentally, the proctors could just knock out whomever they're taking to the event site, but I wouldn't expect it. This appears to be a facsimile of being taken prisoner and tracking one down, so binding the escorted person would be fair game, however.

Smuggling a Pangolin with the escorted person would, of course, defeat all possible precautions if successful, but they're a bit too big for that to be easy, even if they Henge.
 
Briefvoice said:
How big is Paanda, again? Could Hazou conceivably conceal him about Hazou's person when being taken to the next Event site? Like, he hugs Hazou's back when Hazou is wearing a loose-fitting shirt or cloak or something?
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He's about 3' tall and pretty solid. He's not smugglable under normal clothing and he doesn't know henge.
 
Ok, let's try this again. The section on selling the story needs more ideas, I think. Feedback appreciated.

Clan Diplomacy Plan: Blame Yagura

Rationale:
We want the peace talks between Mist and Leaf to succeed, and hopefully then progress towards a full-blown alliance. This lets mom move to Leaf as per Ren's proposal and secure Leaf against a possible Cloud/Rock alliance, as well as lay foundations for a possible ninja UN in the future. It also strengthens Jiraiya's position, improving his chances of keeping the Hokage hat if Naruto is not recovered.

Our way to help this along is to make as positive of an impression as we can on our former clans. The more palatable we make the idea of associating with us, the easier it will be for clans to accept the alliance. It is already beneficial for them to use us as political connections to Leaf; we simply need to overcome the initial, visceral reaction to us being traitors. In particular, Ren wants to reinstate Hana into the Kurosawa clan, and Hazou making a good impression should make this much easier for her.

What we want:
  • For clan members to stop seeing us as traitors to Mist first and foremost. It's unlikely that we can drop the association entirely, but we can move it down their priority list.
  • To move the focus from our personal disloyalty to the advantages our current position gives us towards helping our clans and the village.
  • To put it simply, we want them to start thinking about us in pragmatic terms. An opportunity, rather than a liability.
  • To provide the pragmatically minded (and the clan leaders almost necessarily have to be this to an extent) a narrative they can use as an alternative to virtue signalling about traitors.
  • To this end, we need to undermine the official narrative while hijacking as many pieces of it as possible.

What is our story:
NOTE: This is supposed to be a guiding narrative for our private talks with clan members. We don't use it in public, or in the presence of our Leaf allies. We also don't actually tell it directly, preferring to imply things and let people form their own conclusions. For example:

Shin: How does it feel to again see the village you betrayed, scum?
Hazou: Not great. But at least I take some solace in the fact that he's gone.
Shin: He?
Hazou: The mad former Mizukage, of course.
  • Everything is Yagura's fault. We hate him for leaving us no choice, but to do what we did. He repaid our loyalty with callous betrayal. He was a paranoid megalomaniac unfit to be Kage. Wouldn't surprise us if part of it was the bijuu screwing with his mind, but there's no way to know at this point.
  • Being unable to return, not even for a fair trial, as Yagura would have doubtless killed us off quietly, we accepted Leaf's offer to take us in over a lifetime of running from Zabuza.
  • It's a bittersweet return to our home village. Thankfully, Yagura got himself killed in a pointless war, which is how we can actually be here. But it stings to be despised as traitors, even though we were betrayed first.
  • Still, aunt Ren being Mizukage fills us with hope for the future. It's impossible for us to return, but it feels comforting to know that our village of birth won't be destroyed by a madman.

What is our attitude:
  • Be the better people. Don't engage in any mudslinging or respond to provocation. We're here to get things done, not massage our egos.
  • Respond to insults with firm politeness. Correct outright untruths where it makes sense, but abstain from insulting our interlocutors, the clans, or the village. Yagura is the only villain in our story.
  • Be friendly if approached politely. Address clan members based on familial affiliation (usually "cousin", I suppose) where appropriate. Respond positively to any official invitations, but be wary of more casual ones, especially from people our age group (most likely to do something moronic like try to kill us).
  • If addressed cordially, respond in kind, but be wary. Most likely a trap.
  • Show the proper respect to clan elders in particular. Deference, even, as much as it might pain Hazou. Do not, however, let ourselves be bullied. We don't owe the clans anything. We offer good will, and if they spit on it, we walk away.

How do we sell the story:
  • Our team will have to judge this on a case by case basis. This is a list of possible approaches they can pick from if appropriate.
  • Be vague; imply, rather than clearly explaining. Smart people will do a good job filling the gaps in themselves.
  • Let some bitterness at the treatment we're receiving show. Never apologize, we have nothing to apologize for.
  • Explicitly stress our current position in relation to the Leaf/Mist negotiations going on right now, and how much an enterprising clan could do with this kind of connection.
  • Don't overdo it with praising Ren, it may look suspicious and damage her position.

Points specific to Hazou:
  • Liberal use of Deceit wherever applicable. Iron Nerve to disguise real feelings if Deceit too difficult.
  • Ask mom to fill Hazou in on what she knows about the clan's internal etiquette and politics, when we can. This will explicitly need to go into an action plan first.
  • Hazou isn't going to pretend he likes his clan (too obvious of a lie), but he is willing to let bygones be bygones and talk in good faith. This is in spite of having no obligations towards the Kurosawa - they exiled Hana of their own volition.
  • Avoid the topic of his mother in general. Nothing good can come of it and we won't be able to spin it better than Ren. The clan made its decision to exile her and that's that. We live in the present, and not the past.
  • If pressed about bloodline secrets, respond that it's both irresponsible and disrespectful to discuss it with anyone other than the clan head (Ren). If you do actually get to discuss it with Ren, be honest.
 
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Hmm, how about this?

Hazou get a pair of cloth armbands/bracers where he stuffs all the seals he wants to carry inside, reachable even if his hands are bound. Then he henges into himself with the bracers covered up. Then he breaks the henge after they tie him up and while he's being pushed along.

The trouble is, that creates a big cloud of smoke so it might be cause for him to be pulled over and inspected before continuing to take him to the destination.

Maybe not bother with the henge and just try to conceal the seals about his person in a position where he can grab them even if his hands are bound behind his back?
 
I've got a simple one: wear hand wraps with directional explosives facing outward on the inside.
 
I have become enamored with the idea of Hazou using a battle kite. The idea would be to exploit wind jutsu to manipulate its position during battle, and have the kite be attached by chakra wire so that we could activate kite-mounted seals. Whether the seals are just storage containing boiling oil, or a more fancy Goo Bomb Kite is up to the user's taste.

That is not to mention our day-to-day usage anvil-containing Comic Effect Kite.
 
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KaGoGoGadgetMe said:
I have become enamored with the idea of Hazou using a battle kite. The idea would be to exploit wind jutsu to manipulate its position during battle, and have the kite be attached by chakra wire so that we could activate kite-mounted seals. Whether the seals are just storage containing boiling oil, or a more fancy Goo Bomb Kite is up to the user's taste.

That is not to mention our day-to-day usage anvil-containing Comic Effect Kite.
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Slight problem with that plan. Hazou doesn't know wind ninjutsu and it'd be the work of the better part of a year to be able to learn it. :p
 
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