Bare hands, take it or leave it.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- U.S.
Technically if we strip away the very Paint itself and wield the Out as a weapon, our hands are bare. Barer than anyone elses.
- Location
- U.S.
Excellent idea!
[X] Make an EM Nuke Rune
(and also these)
[X] Let EJ Write What He Wants, We Trust Him
[X] Hazo β side story update
[X] Interlude: Kei has an existential crisis over the metapossibility of her being a character in someone else's quest/adventure story
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[X] Treasonous Meetings
- Sanity check with Mari
- Meet with Cannai.
- Explain the necromancy situation.
- This is as big a deal, on par with the dragons, and it's all relying on us.
- We can't solve this problem while in Leaf, and staying in leaf endangers our family and clan.
- We feel we need to go missing until we can win the necromancy race. Will you support us in this?
- This initially means pretending that we died in the field.
- Latter, this may mean turning Akatsuki away from your borders
- Aditionaly, any expert training you or your best teachers can provide would help enormously.
- Please encourage an EJounin combat doggy to contract with us - our survival is vital to both our paths.
- Meet with Maero(IFF it takes a few hours or less)
- Bring luxuries and drinks
- Does he know TH? Will he teach us? Pretty pretty please?
- Confirm that our orgy-assassination attempt is still in process, we're getting Mari a scroll, and she can't wait to meet him.(tone: playfull)
- Max-security meeting with Family(uplift +Yuno)
- Explain Necromancy, Runes, ect.
- Going missing(temporarily!) seems like the only way forward.
- Give everyone a chance to discuss alternate options, we'd love a better alternative, but don't think one exists.
- If no one has a better plan, we'll leave on a "scroll hunt" or other long-term mission tomorrow, and want everyone here to join us.
- We need to leave now, before WHOOSH fully leaks and Noburi is confined to leaf.
- We'll send false reports, then fake our deaths after a month or two(if we can get our summon bosses to cooperate.)
- Longer-term options include making a research fortress over a random patch of ocean, but we're open to suggestions
- Kei, Snowflake, should we hire Tenten to join us?
- Would she be willing to join us as missing nin? What would be best for her?
- Pre-mission prep
- Be really careful not to act strangely, and try to minimise contact with people who might see through you(Tsunade, Shika, etc.)
- Kagome needs to stay in his room and not talk to anyone until we go, a Mari clone can do shopping and other prep for him.
- Mari: learn all the tower lighting jutsu.
- Kei/Snowflake/Mari: use what intelligence reports you can access to put together a list of useful targets. Especially get current bingo books, known jashin temples, known users of A/S-Rank earth element buffs, and leads on a TH instructor.(if Mareo can't teach TH)
- Stockpile goods on the 7th path. Include luxuries for Maero, sealing supplies, and anything we can't get in the field.
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- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Dammit, people, I don't have the spoons to start a γ timeline.
- Location
- Yes.
This is Left-Hand Mutant's plan, but just a modified Cannai section that is less committed to going missing. Might add more scenes based on feedback.
NB: Struggled a bit to integrate telling Uplift about it, ended up not doing it because I couldn't figure out a path forward if any of them say "no, I'm not doing that". FMPOV nobody in Leaf can know we're going missing ahead of time, Itachi will find out and murk them, which forces them to go missing just because we said that we were going to.
[X] (Non-Binding) Treasonous Meetings
Word Count: ???
NB: Struggled a bit to integrate telling Uplift about it, ended up not doing it because I couldn't figure out a path forward if any of them say "no, I'm not doing that". FMPOV nobody in Leaf can know we're going missing ahead of time, Itachi will find out and murk them, which forces them to go missing just because we said that we were going to.
[X] (Non-Binding) Treasonous Meetings
Word Count: ???
- Sanity-check with Mari, appropriate security conditions.
- Cannai:
- Explain the necromancy situation.
- This is as big a deal, on par with the dragons, and it's all relying on us.
- Naruto believes, and we agree, that we can't solve this problem while in Leaf. Akatsuki knows our location and has threatened us into giving up secrets before.
- Naruto thinks that we need to go missing until we can win the necromancy race.
- Hazou isn't sure if this is the best path, but he does know it's impossible without Cannai's support.
- If he does this, will you support us? This means:
- Providing shelter while we research (Hazou will spend >90% time in Dog).
- Protecting us from Akatsuki if they attack.
- If necessary, providing tutors/Summons
- Research: 1 day prep to assess difficulty
- Temperature Drop/EM Nuke Rune: Do as much as possible in the Seventh Path/high-security location, destroy all evidence, tell no one.
Not the worst outcome. And it's kinda necessary, the only other way to do it is TLitF.
Given the large time premium, I'd try to avoid advancing the clock. Let it be a 2-hour update, immediately followed by more treasonous meetings next update, instead of waiting 24hours.
- Location
- Yes.
TBH I have no idea how we'd be doing it, beyond Hazou's initial idea of telling them as we go.
It's intended for me to have more meetings in the update (like with the Toad Sages), but I haven't added them in yet. If I can't add that update in I'll remove the section.
Meeting with toad sages before Noburi is super awkward and generally undercuts Noburi at a time when we really need to make him look good.
Before we tell Noburi?
- Location
- Yes.
And this is why I haven't added the conversation.
Whether we tell Kei/Noburi our intentions or not, they'll be tortured by Akatsuki if they stay behind and we're known missing-nin.
Not talking to them isn't going to keep them safe.
It lowers risk of accidental leaks while in leaf, but going missing looks pretty now-or-never.
Given that, it's time to talk to our family.
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- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
One imagines they're accustomed to fighting in boats against other boats and don't have much of an answer to enemies with skywalkers.
Honestly, we could probably even venture into those infamously-inaccurate "drop heavy objects from the sky" strategies, because a pirate ship isn't a small target and the pirates can't afford to abandon it if they're out on the open ocean.
It's been like 2 years. Skywalkers have leaked pretty far, and given that they're inevitably headed for "scrolls and explosive tags" levels of adoption, there's a lot of incentive to be the first one to sell the secret.
And pirates probably clash with mist-nin, who definitely have Skywalkers. Surviving pirates probably have countermeasures.
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Iris-Iven-Ibis
Interested-Idiot-Immortal
- Location
- You know
[X] Action Plan: Road Trip! (no Ino/Haruhisa version)
[X] Itachi 47 hours before the Massacre of his clan
[X] Hazou has a his "I am song" and "I want song" at the same time
[X] team uplift dream of leaf collection
[X] the curse of hatred
[X] Itachi 47 hours before the Massacre of his clan
[X] Hazou has a his "I am song" and "I want song" at the same time
[X] team uplift dream of leaf collection
[X] the curse of hatred
- Location
- Yes.
boo600
Ego sum egredietur tempestas.
- Location
- Texas
- Pronouns
- He/Him/Hungry
Wait - wait wait wait.
We have a harsh time limit if we're going missing. We have diplomatic problems to deal with, on the Seventh Path and otherwise. We have to consider who we're taking, if we want Leaf's Uplift to continue, and if there's even a way for us and Noburi to go missing that doesn't A) Destroy the possibility of Missing Nin ceasing to be so, B) Destroy the life of anyone left behind, and C) Harm his loyalty to us, since uprooting him from Leaf and his life - including Yuno, his wife, and whatever issues she has with the idea of going missing, and Jashinism - we probably can't leave her in Leaf.
And there are other important issues.
But getting away from the Tower could be critical, and we need to get out of Akatsuki's sights.
So I'm going to focus on the critical thing, since I don't recall it being confirmed:
Do we have copies of Minato's Notes? Because without those, our dimensionalism research is dead in the water, and the whole plan is a bust from the start.
I'm assuming there are measures to prevent us from stealing/copying them, given their value and Opsec status. How do we get around those? Because that's critical, if we're going missing.
We have a harsh time limit if we're going missing. We have diplomatic problems to deal with, on the Seventh Path and otherwise. We have to consider who we're taking, if we want Leaf's Uplift to continue, and if there's even a way for us and Noburi to go missing that doesn't A) Destroy the possibility of Missing Nin ceasing to be so, B) Destroy the life of anyone left behind, and C) Harm his loyalty to us, since uprooting him from Leaf and his life - including Yuno, his wife, and whatever issues she has with the idea of going missing, and Jashinism - we probably can't leave her in Leaf.
And there are other important issues.
But getting away from the Tower could be critical, and we need to get out of Akatsuki's sights.
So I'm going to focus on the critical thing, since I don't recall it being confirmed:
Do we have copies of Minato's Notes? Because without those, our dimensionalism research is dead in the water, and the whole plan is a bust from the start.
I'm assuming there are measures to prevent us from stealing/copying them, given their value and Opsec status. How do we get around those? Because that's critical, if we're going missing.
- Location
- Yes.
Presumably he's doing this on autopilot.
- Location
- Yes.
<insert stress about thinking of treason here>