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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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How would they have accessed the tongues? It seems unlikely to say the least. @Velorien, were the tongues on the Human Path outside of Keiko's sight for any length of time?

Edit: This is a silly question, this was food at the gathering
 
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Regardless of whether they did or didn't attempt to poison Snowflake, we can claim they did - it's better than they claiming we attempted to poison them.
 
Murska said:
Regardless of whether they did or didn't attempt to poison Snowflake, we can claim they did - it's better than they claiming we attempted to poison them.
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It does make a lot more sense that they would successfully poison us than we would fail so miserably at poisoning them as to kill one of our own.

Probably this would instantly polarize the village into pro-head priest vs pro-Keiko factions, with both sides believing only their own version of events. The question is how many people would be in the pro-Keiko faction at the moment. I doubt it would be very many, since we only just got there.
 
Sentient Tree said:
It does make a lot more sense that they would successfully poison us than we would fail so miserably at poisoning them as to kill one of our own.

Probably this would instantly polarize the village into pro-head priest vs pro-Keiko factions, with both sides believing only their own version of events. The question is how many people would be in the pro-Keiko faction at the moment. I doubt it would be very many, since we only just got there.
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We should firebomb our own base and make it look like it was a strike against our entire base of operations that we barely made it out of.
 
faflec said:
We should firebomb our own base and make it look like it was a strike against our entire base of operations that we barely made it out of.
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Why barely? Why not claim to be so much better that their best attempt only lightly singed some books, which are abundant and cheap in Leaf because of how rich and productive it is.

If we want a more politically benign answer to the maybe assassination, we can say that the beatles and tongues had an unexpected interaction, and accordingly Keiko was whisked back to the 7th Path due to summoning contract safety of the summoner clause to save her life when it is in danger (which should disincentive attempts to kill her if they think she'll be poofed away).
 
Ipsos Custodes said:
Why barely? Why not claim to be so much better that their best attempt only lightly singed some books, which are abundant and cheap in Leaf because of how rich and productive it is.

If we want a more politically benign answer to the maybe assassination, we can say that the beatles and tongues had an unexpected interaction, and accordingly Keiko was whisked back to the 7th Path due to summoning contract safety of the summoner clause to save her life when it is in danger (which should disincentive attempts to kill her if they think she'll be poofed away).
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The point is to make it look like an actual assassination attempt and not a false flag, since that way we can play up on Isan nationalism and xenophobia to make them believe our story.
 
faflec said:
The point is to make it look like an actual assassination attempt and not a false flag, since that way we can play up on Isan nationalism and xenophobia to make them believe our story.
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I get that, but if it's a 'good' attempt that almost succeeded then (a) some will want to try 'again' and (b) it makes us look weak that they almost 'got' us like that.

Who would do a false flag where we win easily with only minor damage to some possessions? What a ridiculous claim, it would be more reasonable that we're just that much more powerful/it was a bad attempt than that we made it up.
 
Frame Arikada Hibiki, accuse him of wanting revenge on Keiko for her role in capturing Arikada. Accuse him of poisoning Keiko so badly that she retreated to the 7th path for Ancient Pangolin healing. If anyone knows reverse summoning well enough to challenge this story, lie and say Leaf is so powerful they technique hacked the Summoning Jutsu to allow summoners to teleport between summons. Demand that Arikada be given over to our custody. If delayed or refused, take him captive. Have Mari break his mind with genjutsu and get him to spill on whatever the hell has been going on in Isan.
 
(Mostly) honest approach could also work. Say Keiko intended to impress them with exotic pangolin cuisine, but that it's been so long that they've prepared food for humans that they weren't sure which ones humans can eat safely. Keiko left early to avoid the embarrassment of throwing up on the High Priest's shoes, and she's sorry that they're getting off on the wrong foot.
 
Shrooms said:
(Mostly) honest approach could also work. Say Keiko intended to impress them with exotic pangolin cuisine, but that it's been so long that they've prepared food for humans that they weren't sure which ones humans can eat safely. Keiko left early to avoid the embarrassment of throwing up on the High Priest's shoes, and she's sorry that they're getting off on the wrong foot.
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I agree this could work, I think it has a couple flaws (too submissive to High Priest's authority) but it doesn't really get us anything. This clusterfuck is an opportunity if we're quick enough
 
Sir Stompy said:
I agree this could work, I think it has a couple flaws (too submissive to High Priest's authority) but it doesn't really get us anything. This clusterfuck is an opportunity if we're quick enough
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It is the safe option that doesn't immediately blow up in our faces, which frankly I expect most of the suggestions thus far to do. This is basically restarting the race but the High Priest gets a few seconds head start.
 
*vigorous headdesk*

Shrooms said:
(Mostly) honest approach could also work. Say Keiko intended to impress them with exotic pangolin cuisine, but that it's been so long that they've prepared food for humans that they weren't sure which ones humans can eat safely. Keiko left early to avoid the embarrassment of throwing up on the High Priest's shoes, and she's sorry that they're getting off on the wrong foot.
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Problem there is that Keiko appears to have popped in front of them.

We could say she teleported, turned invisible, retreated tongue seventh path?

Okay, what about this: we say Keiko keeps a pocket-sized Pangolin with her at all times in case she needs to make an emergency retreat. We intended to make a nice gift Of beetles, but unfortunately they were, contrary to Panda's memory, sickness inducing. Keiko used her pocket Pangolin to reverse summon herself rather than vomit on his floor.

The key part will be actually making a contract with a pocket pangolin quickly enough to convince the Isanese we had it all along.
 
BelligerentGnu said:
We could say she teleported
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I would say this or saying she retreated to the 7th path is the easiest solution
We don't need to prove we have a pocket pangolin (this would be a strategically significant secret to give up if true anyways, which would make them suspicious that's actually what happened). For all they know Keiko has an invisible pangolin or whatever

EDIT: Basically I'm saying I don't think we need to explain in detail how we left, just that we left so we didn't embarrass ourselves further
 
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[ ] (Isan) The Best Defense (PROTOPLAN)

Word Count-245

Immediately unsummon Pandaa, try to make it look as if Snowflake was reverse summoning herself to 7th​ path. If this goes well, the leaders at the banquet will be expecting Keiko back in the same spot.

Immediately have Keiko summon as many pangolins (Pankurashun first, then Pangaya, and Pandojuru) as is practical for leaving people at battle-ready chakra levels.

Discuss with Mari briefly the following but we need to act fast before word can get to the High Priest.

Since the High Priest and Clan Heads would never harm the Heir of Ui, accuse Arikada of poisoning Keiko based his status as an evil foreign ninja who specializes understanding the human body (ie poisons)

Have Noburi or Mari, whichever is better suited, go out with pangolins into the village and start shouting about betrayal by evil foreigners. Whip up as much of a crowd as possible. Angles to play-xenophobia, perfidious betrayal of the Messiah, terrifying biosealers that will turn you into a flesh puppet and eat out your insides with maggots.

Positives - nothing can stop the might of the Pangolin Clan and the Heir of Ui

When a crowd of sufficient size forms, but before word can get very far, get the crowd moving towards the banquet as fast as possible.

Demand custody of Arikada, escalate to violence if denied. If it devolves into violence, kill anyone who aids him

If granted custody, have Noburi drain Arikada to unconsciousness and take him back to base to interrogate at leisure.

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Suggestions welcome!

If you think this is crazy, I agree! But it certainly seems fun.
 
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[X] (Isan) Okay I Guess We're Posting Isan Plans
Word Count: 296

  • Describe to Mari their reactions and facial expressions in as much detail as possible
    • Does she think this may have been a poisoning attempt? If so, send Snowflake again instead of Keiko.
  • Have Keiko quickly ask Yuno and Mari how to structure an apology that helps her seem in control of the situation
    • Have Keiko return to the dinner quickly
      • Explain (mostly honestly) Keiko was intending to impress them by showing off Pangolin cuisine. However, it's been quite a while since the Pangolins have made food for humans, and Keiko wanted to experience it with them so she didn't test it in advance. She left swiftly so she did not get sick in front of the others and embarrass herself further, but she has returned to apologize for the inconvenience, and would like to continue the meeting.
  • Do not try to intimidate the High Priest, but don't simply bend the knee either. You're there to establish a mutually beneficial alliance.
  • Keiko, do not commit to any deals during this meeting. However, make it clear how much the High Priest has to gain from this alliance.
    • New luxuries, massive political importance with Leaf, new jutsu that can boost agriculture and financial capability, medical treatment, more people to spread his religion to and more are all possible for the High Priest from this alliance, and Leaf is his best chance at these things. Keiko herself could lend even more credibility to his status, should the alliance go forward.
      • Be vague enough not to reveal secrets but specific enough to be tantalizing
  • Also detail the Battle of the Gods and how close the world came to ending without Isan noticing. More threats will come and Isan can't afford to look the other way, or it could endanger them too.
 
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