Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
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- He/Him
Jinchuuriki, and probably weaker than a fully realized one, but definitely stronger than someone like Naruto who hasn't fully mastered it.
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Okay, then why are we paying people to learn how to explode each other better? They'll learn combat jutsu anyway, so we should just pay a reward for noncombat jutsu. Cutting the combat jutsu part out saves 6 words and means we aren't paying people for something they'll all do anyway.
Edit:
Ladies and gentlemen, Marked For Death in a nutshell.
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- He/Him
It's already good on word count, and combat jutsu are still valuable...
- Location
- USA
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FYI 'room and board' means 'lodging and food'. Did you mean '...and stipend'?
- Location
- Book Fort
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- They/Them
Yeah, I meant "lodging and food" with the "stipend" part covered next with the "give them the monthly stipend of a moderately successful clanned Chunnin."
Sorry about that, my brain is swiss. Give me a minute to finish cooking dinner and I'll patch it up.
Edit:
Dinner made and patches done!
Basically it's because clanless ninja can't often afford to take the time to learn new jutsu. A clan ninja has a clan supporting them, so they can afford to take a few weeks to learn Fire Death Jutsu. A clanless ninja doesn't have that financial backing and has to worry about rent, food, and the like (though KEI-union helps with this, I assume). By including combat jutsu, we make it viable for clanless to learn more than one or two jutsu.
Besides, they're still objectively valuable. Including combat jutsu helps keep up the front that the Goketsu are really doing this to help motivate Leaf Ninja to improve upon themselves (rather than our secret evil plan to spread sanity and mental stability throughout the world). If we don't include combat jutsu, then the Goketsu nay-sayers could claim that we're trying to undermine Leaf national security. By including combat jutsu, but making it slightly less profitable, we preemptively undercut that drastically.
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Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
We are now 200 words into the update of people talking without anyone getting interrupted by explosions or the teacher getting drop kicked in the face by Kagome for reasons we won't know until later.
EJ, do a handstand and blink twice at your webcam if you have been forced to write this under duress.
That insult flew under my radar until the next line.
Is this a setup to sweeten Honoka's win later? I hope so.
So he refers to himself as a mudfoot. Boooooooo.
I wonder if we know the father?
So all clan kids can already water walk before being taught in the official curriculum? Makes sense given their resources and support network of older ninja able/willing to help them train.
The symbolism is rather ingenious as well if very reprehensible.
Maybe we should do something about this like throw explosives into a mud pile whenever the teacher walks close to some on his way home. Hammer the point in.
We could easily afford the cost of the C-Rank mission of hiring a team of fresh Chunin to stalk him. And as long as the teacher doesn't come to any harm, then really that's just an unfortunate side effect of us training said fresh Chunin in the usage of explosives in a safe environment, isn't it?
I mean, we could also just talk to whoever is responsible for the mud pile in the curriculum and have it changed via Mari waving her social witchcraft stick at that person but if there isn't a big chance for it to backfire and have Asuma chew us out then what's the point?
Am I right or am I right, my fellow radical treasonous dreamers?
I wonder if this Yamamoto girl is significant. Second time she gets ignored.
Could be anyone though, very common last name.
Hmm, is Hanabi on our side and playing the teacher maybe? Or maybe she just doesn't wanna get exploded when Kagome jumps out of the bushes if Honoka doesn't get a turn soon.
Smart girl.
...there will be explosions soon, right?
Yeah, because when people think about all the dangerous things Kagome could be teaching people wall-walking is clearly up there up with sealing instructions and exploooooooooooooosives.
That note will, naturally, self-destruct via (mostly) harmless explosion within three seconds, right?
Tell you what, if the note doesn't get mentioned after this point we can just pretend that this is what happened and all the students and teachers failed a spot check so they didn't comment on it.
Deal? Deal.
What note? There is no more note.
*cough* Canon Naruto *cough* terrible teachers *cough* unsuitable standardized teaching methods *cough*.
...but you can't put explosive seals into storage seals, can you?
OK, fine. Nothing exploded but I shall allow it just this once.
Just this once!
There better be explosively-propelled mud flying
Honoka demonstrating once more why being cute and adorable is a valid survival tactic from an evolutionary standpoint.
And rich. Can't forget about being rich, those things always tend to increase your life expectancy.
Someone remind me: how much money are we investing into the education of clanless outside the Goketsu compound? Are we providing them with seals and/or teaching them to use them safely?
We should have the money to be able to this, right?
Or maybe we have already been doing this and I forgot 'cause I ain't no faflec.
*nods proudly*
Why aim when you can just brute force it?
Yes, but did it fly on a particular teacher or not?! I need to know!
Nuh uh, you are not ready yet for your redemption arc. Mud on your face first and then I'll consider it.
Good on Honoka though and it's a shame the update cuts off right there. Would have loved to read more about the expression of the other students (Hanabi especially).
I'd rate this a perfect 5/7. Could have used more explosions instead of talking and I am still waiting for Kagome to swoop in from the sky with a blatantly frivolous use of Sky Walkers.
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- Location
- Raleigh, NC
[x] Action Plan: Splinter Plan, MMKII Authority and Uplift
- Location
- USA
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- He/Him
No, the point is that they can't. The trench is there to provide motivation to learn it ASAP and to teach a little humility.
CaptainAmerica.jpg !
- Location
- UK
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- He/Him
Which item on the post-interaction survey form is this?
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Do you mean the 5/7 bit? That's a meme that got spawned from this.
In particular this one:
Or if you meant it literally:
It's from the sheet "3.2.5 - Close Family Interaction With Teachers and Educational Staff" (Third Edition, Fifth Print).
My head canon is that we have been ordering a truly staggering amount of these from the Nara press through a discount via Keiko.
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
Shouldn't there be a clause about failing out and not receiving payment anymore? Also what's the point behind the bounty? Is a large donation to every current medic nin a part of the idea?
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Oh, okay. Good idea.
- Location
- Book Fort
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- They/Them
With how desperately the Leaf needs medic nin, I'm not sure that they would allow someone to simply flunk out of medic nin training. More likely they'd get supplemental/remedial training. Like Asuma said, Leaf is suffering from a staggering lack of medic nin right now. I suppose I could include a "three strikes, you're out" rule regarding medical training, but that seems a little superfluous.
As for the medical jutsu, yeah. It's a way to give current medical nin a financial and morale boost, while also further incentivizing people to become medical ninja.
Besides, this also provides incentives for the "normal" ninja to at least learn some basic medical jutsu. A ninja squad with even just one ninja who knows the sterilization jutsu is better than a squad without any medical jutsu whatsoever. Sure, it would be great if every squad had a dedicated medical nin, but failing that, one who can prevent infection is a good step in the right direction.
- Location
- Europe
We already had a similar talk about the general MEW idea with Tsunade in Chapter 352, so we are likely not gaining a lot of new earth ninja:
But anyway, one of the heads of the whole hospital is Kon Ai, instead of doing the whole "Increase the number of medic-nin" in isolation we should talk to her or Tsunade.
This could look something like this:
Meet with the head of Leaf Hospital (Kon Ai? Tsunade?)
- Offer financial assistance for training more medics
- Political help?
- Assistance with non-medical issues?
And if word space is a problem we can just cut this, there is no real reason to apologize, our Goketsu-lite were in general just unsure because we didn't give them a real direction, we also didn't give them any good way to judge how we prioritize our adoptions.
I really doubt the majority of our 40+ ninja believe that we would adopt them that soon, but without any kind of sign of how to gain our approval they would of course feel lost.
- Location
- UK
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- He/Him
1) Who judges the level of competency, and how?
2) What are wages? Ninja are paid per mission.
Edit: Also, by jutsu level, do you mean 1-6?
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
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- She/They
I'm picturing us calling a faux military tribunal only to judge the individuals skills with giant score cards.
- Location
- UK
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- He/Him
Given that we are talking about the Gōketsu, I honestly cannot tell if this is a serious answer.
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
I still don't like it. We have no idea how many medical jutsu an experienced medic from the hospital has, especially if we include niche or self-made minor variations. Also, Orochimaru is chief surgeon. He could easily hear this news from Kabuto and simply empty our bank account for fun and profit. And even if he doesn't, I know we want to support Tsunade, but are we really okay with giving her full and free access to all of our funds to do with as she sees fit?
Also, what's with that Yamanaka Stability bounty? Isn't that a clan secret? Do we want to give only the Yamanaka specifically an extra gift? Do they have money problems that I missed?
Lastly, why would we want to give every single ninja a payout for every jutsu they know? I mean, we are rich, but we aren't richer than the Hokage Tower yet.
Yeah, no. This whole think is shakier than a house built out of single layer Swiss cheese slices.
[X] Continue Previous Plan
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Hmm that's a good point, I don't even remember how we got access to it lol
- Location
- USA
[X] Continue Previous Plan
@RandomOTP imo the "jutsu bounty" idea is super underdeveloped. Start small, offer a small sum for learning the Yamanaka Technique. Hopefully shouldn't take a lot of time, and I expect a lot of clanless ninja will do it for even a relatively small bounty, much less "6 months of wages". And like Vel said, we can't estimate jutsu level easily in-universe, so that idea doesn't make a lot of sense. (if we want people to level a jutsu like MEW, we can just post missions that require it)
[X] Continue Previous Plan
It was publicized in the contest.
I agree.
@RandomOTP imo the "jutsu bounty" idea is super underdeveloped. Start small, offer a small sum for learning the Yamanaka Technique. Hopefully shouldn't take a lot of time, and I expect a lot of clanless ninja will do it for even a relatively small bounty, much less "6 months of wages". And like Vel said, we can't estimate jutsu level easily in-universe, so that idea doesn't make a lot of sense. (if we want people to level a jutsu like MEW, we can just post missions that require it)
[X] Continue Previous Plan