Excellent. I am ever so relived that we've decided against committing to not look into the Nara's secrets. It's been difficult, for me, to pick a strategy that had us give the power and control over to them like this, but if the hivemind itself doesn't want to, who am I to disagree? And now Hazou will end his thoughts on the matter on the note that the Nara don't know what they are doing, and that for the sake of the world we must look into their secrets, whether they want us to or not. I can't overstate how thrilled I am about this choice.
E: Also, why now? Why not, and I can't believe I am saying this, when we have access to Ami again? She already displayed some antagonism to the voice, she might be more amenable to talk about our findings and advise us. Could even use a favor to make sure she won't tell anyone/have us killed.

E2: (To be clear, I still wouldn't much like it but it might be a better and safer avenue if you want your secret lore.)


E3: Actually, never mind. This isn't something I should have suggested without thinking longer about it so please disregard.
No, no. That was a brilliant idea.
 
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In my mind cooling down from emotional stuff takes somewhere between minutes to hours. Do other people disagree with that time frame? It's currently been a few weeks. I question how much difference there will be in naruto's emotions between a few weeks and a few months.
Think of the classic 'shower conversation where I mentally replay an argument but with better arguments' schtick. You've long since calmed down from the inciting event itself, but when you remember it you're angry again. Every time Naruto thinks of Hazou, he'll get angry again at the traitor missing-nin Mist scum who shouldn't be in Leaf but he has to play nice with.

The trick is that the more time passes, the less anger those memories will incite, especially with our logic bomb forcing him to confront the idea that we might not be horrible people, and eventually they'll fade enough that he just doesn't like us instead of actively hating us, and from there we can rebuild bridges. But for now, and for weeks and months into the future, Naruto will continue to become upset again whenever we come up.
 
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The trick is actually not pissing off Naruto for the third time, which will probably be the last time we piss him off.
 
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In my mind cooling down from emotional stuff takes somewhere between minutes to hours. Do other people disagree with that time frame? It's currently been a few weeks. I question how much difference there will be in naruto's emotions between a few weeks and a few months.
Think of the classic 'shower conversation where I replay an argument but with better arguments' schtick. You've long since calmed down from the inciting event itself, but when you remember it you're angry again. Every time Naruto thinks of Hazou, he'll get angry again at the traitor missing-nin Mist scum who shouldn't be in Leaf but he has to play nice with.

The trick is that the more time passes, the less anger those memories will incite, especially with our logic bomb forcing him to confront the idea that we might not be horrible people, and eventually they'll fade enough that he just doesn't like us instead of actively hating us, and from there we can rebuild bridges. But for now, and for weeks and months into the future, Naruto will continue to become upset again whenever we come up.
And this wasn't just a schoolyard "your face smells" argument. This was "hey, you should join me in betraying everything you and your loved ones have ever believed in." This on top of that happening during Naruto's grieving of Jiraiya, on top of whatever skepticism Naruto might have inherently had in our missing nin origins. Because I don't think Naruto would care that we weren't "even proper missing nin." I think Naruto's a bit... well, he comes across as a bit holier-than-thou and high-minded. Not sure how much of that is his personality and how much of that is our "let's ask request deeply offensive in his time of great emotional vulnerability."
 
@Noumero

I am pretty sure if your plan had won we'd have died. It'd have gone a bit like this:

HAZOU: I know, Shikamaru. Your darkest, deepest secrets. I know of them all.

SHIKAMARU: *blushes* Y-you do?

HAZOU: It wasn't easy to infer, trust me. But Keiko implied some things, and well...

SHIKAMARU: She did?! I mean, it was just a one time thing. Everyone was on-board with it. This must not get out, we have a reputation to maintain.

HAZOU: I understand, I will tell no one. Your secrets are safe with me. In fact, I want to help you.

SHIKAMARU: What.

HAZOU: I will help you fight the steady decline of mankind, whether it kills me or not.

SHIKAMARU: Uh, that's... that'd be a lot of work, you know? I mean, you are still young but I doubt it'd be as easy as you think it might be, there are logistics involved as well even if you can find the people willing to help you.

HAZOU: I am also willing to pay. A lot. I will get it done.

SHIKAMARU: That's, ah, that's quite pragmatic of you. And... Akane is fine with it?

HAZOU: Of course she is. Why wouldn't she? All of Team Uplift fully supports this plan.

SHIKAMARU: *with wide eyes* I might have underestimated you.

HAZOU: *smugly* Indeed. But we are still new to this, so we'd like you to come oversee our efforts. At least for the first few weeks.

SHIKAMARU: ???

HAZOU: Please.

SHIKAMARU: I will have to decline. We aren't that close.

HAZOU: Very well. Keiko, how about you?

KEIKO: Summoning Technique: Panjadrum.

HAZOU: Ow!

Vote for your new character. Voting will close 28th June.
 




Present day, Elemental Nations

"Ami, what happened to our Hot Springs network?" Ren growled, Iron Nerve barely concealing her intense frustration and exhaustion from a seemingly endless parade of bad news. The Kurosawa were keeping quiet about it, but Ami was fairly certain that Kurosawa Niichi had been either severely wounded or killed in a sealing failure; it'd explain why Mori Biwako had suddenly requested her second cousin in the middle of a teatime that Biwako had strugged to get Ami to attend.

Ami smiled, bouncing up despite the glares of Mist's senior command, Ren, and Gramps sitting in the corner. In that order of importance, of course. "Well, if I wasn't so fantastic, I'd say we're encountering the worst news possible, but since I am, I'm just going to report merely good news," she deflected.

Internally she cursed. If Hazou wasn't just about the only person in the Elemental Nations crazy enough to do what he did, she'd be able to make him regret fucking tearing open Reality without even making sure that Keiko would be safe from the aftershocks.

"Well, it turns out that in that area there used to be a civilization on the edge of extinction, but now there's just a horde of horrifically strong, ludicrously durable, and constantly evolving metallic humanoids made up completely of blades that also happens to learn jutsu that we used on it. When I met up with the tatters of our network, I found out that the survivors of the Battle for Hot Springs were headed to the border to meet up with the ragged forces of Rice for one last desperate struggle atop Junko's Hill."

"And you dealt with the problem?" Ryugamine asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, the actual problem is that something is tearing apart the foundations of our reality, and the effects are that sealing failures once thought adequately contained might not actually be contained enough, but yes, I did temporarily contain the horde of metallic blademonsters for about two or three months, and I got Fire to launch suppression missions in the area. In other mildly unrelated news, these monsters are now confirmed to be completely immune to drowning and electrical damage, resistant to fire and ice, and can only be destroyed by ridiculously overwhelming force or by thermal shock. I also now owe Uzumaki Naruto one hell of a favor," Ami reported with a catlike grin.

The rest of the room shivered, and looked at each other.

"Ami," Ryugamine carefully said. "Is there anything we can do about reality falling apart?"

"Depends," Ami truthfully answered. "Do we have any enterprising sealmasters or technique hackers stupid enough to stare directly into the truth of reality, stubborn enough to survive, and crazy enough to try to use that knowledge to make changes to the foundations of reality, knowing that the slightest misstep could doom us all?"

Dead silence.



Two years ago

"Neji-sensei, I can't do iiiitt," Honoka petulantly whined. "How am I supposed to dodge those grapes with these blindfolds on?"

Chakra burning through his hands, Neji flicked another grape at her.

"Sense my hand motions," Neji blithely said.

"But howwwww? I can't see with these blindfolds on!" Honoka said, hit by another grape.

"Ask Lord Goketsu; the CASE system was his idea in the first place," Neji responded, flicking another grape high into the air. If he had guessed which direction Honoka was going to dodge next...

"Neji-sensei, he told me - ow!" Neji guessed right, and his day was improved by about negative one micro-Goketsus. Of course, his day had started with about three Goketsus in the negatives because Hazou had somehow convinced Hinata that this banality was a good use of his time, but Neji tried to look at the big picture nowadays.

Ugh. Listening to Honoka complain was seriously grating on his nerves. It might be worth helping Honoka out just to not have to hear it anymore.

"Supposedly, Honoka," Neji began, flicking another grape into the air, "the monks of Himetsu Castle in Lightning once had a certain monk Naomichi who was a prolific writer and happened to lose the use of his eyes in middle age due to completely natural chakra-liger related reasons. This is notable because Himetsu Castle was nowhere near chakra-liger hunting grounds, and Himetsu Castle was also training far more woodcutters than the local area could support."

Honoka stopped, confused. "What - no, wait, I can figure this out," Honoka said, and Neji could see through the blindfold how she was scrunching her face up in concentration. "Himetsu Castle wasn't training woodcutters, they were training warriors, and because of that Naomichi was blinded as a warning by..."

"By?" Neji smugly asked, tracking the downwards trajectory of the grape.

"By Cloud ninjas, who called it a chakra-liger accident?" Honoka said, relaxing as she found confidence in her answer.

"Correct," Neji declared, counting down to the grape's impact.

"Ya - ow! What the heck was that for, Neji-sensei?" Honoka complained, pouting.

"For paying attention to the word problem and not the point of the exercise," Neji said, smirking.

"Then, Neji-sensei, what is the point?" Honoka asked.

"The monk Naomichi's writings become understandably less legible and a different handwriting style after he got blinded; however, he noted that about a year after his blinding, his sense of hearing, smell, touch, and direction had improved significantly," Neji lectured.

"Ohhhh," Honoka said, before scrunching her eyes shut and clapping her hands over her ears.

Smirking, Neji picked up two grapes, and flicked his hand in just the right way to send one directly at her and the other high into the air.

Just as he expected, Honoka dodged the first one, swaying wildly to avoid the shot. Neji could tell that Honoka knew she dodged it by her confident smile, and although he wouldn't admit it, that smile improved his day by one negative Goketsu.

"Neji-sensei, I did it!" Honoka crowed - and then was hit by the second grape Neji threw into the air.

Honoka's annoyed face improved Neji's day by another negative micro-Goketsu.



Marked For Death Voyage: If You Call It A Miracle



Smoke popped in front of Kagome's fingers, where the silver-haired man once stood.

For an instant eternity, time froze - stuttered - restarted at a snail's - paused - decelerated - jerked laterally - space broke - reformed - rotated inwards - expressed imagination - clicked between states -

Honoka remembered seeing all five of her teammate's eyes. The light in Kagome's teary eyes hardening. Neji's wide-eyed expression of confounded terror. Lee's overacted shock and wide eyes telegraphing the hope he dared not express. Hazou's eyes unfocusing towards the middle distance, releasing his hope and humanity for a path to victory. Mari-sensei's green eyes blazing into a fury that Honoka had never even suspected Mari of being capable of, as her face curled into a rictus of terrified hatred.

The killing intent crashed into her next. The promise of a terror inflicted by a cackling demon swept through her and through her surroundings. Visions of nightmares beyond Honoka's imagining - within the Lady of Red's, her mind whispered - flickered around her and the recesses of her mind, and her innermost self knew that the only reason she lived was that the killing intent was not meant to be pointed anywhere close to her.

Distantly, she recognized that the Voyager team had moved into a battle formation on reflex. Mari-sensei had left the formation, coalescing such a powerful Wind jutsu around her form that Honoka could feel the biting lash of the wind dozens of meters away. The light of a glowing arrow pierced through the sphere, but it had only touched the afterimage of red. Water flowed around the sphere as Honoka blinked away the aftershocks of the glowing spear, spinning in a reverse direction to the air. Both revolved and lashed out indiscriminately. In one instant, an earthen dragon descended from the sky; in the next, a heaven-splitting peal of thunder shot from one of the tendrils and reduced the dragon to so much ash.

"Stand," a chorus of eldritch whispers affirmed. "Deliverance is within grasp," they echoed. "Seize it," they stated, and Honoka felt her spine stiffen with hands unclenched.

"Plan Faultline Black," Hazou icily called out, and Honoka slotted into the back right position, around Hazou and Neji casting the Summoning jutsu. "Neji, all-out. Bring your strongest."

Honoka tightened her lips. Faultline Black was the prelude to an Earthquake Black, summoning dozens of Summons and elemental clones to boost damage. Hazou had just ordered them to go silent; why would he order them to immediately go all-out, and attract everyone's attention? Worse, Honoka knew better than anyone just how strong her suits were; an all-out attack would hit her too. So why...?

Calm, Honoka inisted. Ino-sensei, as part of her "cruel training", had her prepare to "walk in other people's minds, even though you're not a Yamanaka." Honoka knew Hazou-sensei usually made good decisions, if often also at complete right angles to common sense, so there was some logic to it.

Honoka jus/

Franticall/

Luckily/ fbmdl

Her twin beam sabers were already in her hands, ready to block, and even still Orochimaru's descending Kusanagi nearly bisected her. Her arms crumpled under the weight of resisting Orochimaru's attack, as the edge of the blade took on a sinister green sheen which punched through her invisible sabers as if they didn't exist.

Automatic defense seals immediately layered barriers and spat out a faceplate to tank the attack, but the green edge punched through three barriers and cracked the faceplate, exposing her one eye. Just as immediately, the pressure vanished and she staggered forward, boosting leftwards on pure reflex as the sword speared through the space she had just been in. The knowledge that she was nothing aside from a pile of meat whose every connecting tissue had already ceased to hold itself together spread through her disjointed body and consciousness, as a countervailing chorus proclaimed that she was still alive, and that since she was alive she could pursue her dream.

Dream, huh? What even was her dream, she hysterically wondered.

Then the blade whipped back and she had no more time for those kind of thoughts; on instinct one hand dropped to her endless pouch of traps and the rest of her body tossed herself to the ground as she dropped one of her disks. The blade came through, tongue trailing behind on the handle; the trap activated, and a directional explosive severed - the tongue dodged, but not the second beam saber - the tongue suddenly grasped her wrist and snapped -

Everything went dark, and then sounded cracks, and then became pain. The ground became the sky and became the sky as she soared through the sky, one arm screaming in pain as she idly looked over at her arm flopping in the wind. Muscles screamed in the pain of dislocation; she tasted blood in her mouth, and bit downwards as she popped her arm back in. In the distance, a flood of Dogs and Turtles popped into existence, two great beasts towering over the rest just as Orochimaru had begun to summon his endless array of snakes. Colossal beings clashed on the earth as an endless storm of attacks descended from the heavens, and a limitless number of retorts from the earth rebuked heaven. Blue fire burned as yellow lightning met green venom, punctuated by the unceasing retort of another batch of explosives.

Wearily, Honoka stood up on the cracked earth and steadied her ragged breathing. Inhale. The power circuits on her right arm were badly damaged, not to mention how much even breathing hurt her right arm. Exhale. Her double-sided traps were still good. Inhale. She still had one beam saber. Exhale. CASE system: still effective. Inhale. She was ready to fight.

With her exhale, she bounded back towards the fight.

In the distance, Honoka saw her team fighting against the endless hordes of snakes and attacks. Thundering sounds echoed in her skull, as she tasted the tang of ozone. Sheets of fire met torrents of air and lit the sky afire as the earth trembled and fissured beneath the fury of a thousand Raiton jutsu. Beams of light bent in midair and translucent shimmers shot out of the smoke clouds kicked up by hundreds of explosives. Serpents of water met serpents of flesh and were found wanting; a fiery eagle found a river of dragons and was quenched immediately.

Portals shimmered into existence to disgorge their payloads; spears of icicles found abundant water and began spreading ice throughout, as the temperature dropped and formed a mighty blizzard. The light of Mari-sensei's fury, the Dog Boss's blue fire, and light from uncountable jutsu pierced through the sheet of driving white snow. Shaking her nearly uncontrollable right arm out, Honoka continued boosting back to her team.

"Honoka's - HONOKA!" Kagome-sensei screamed into the communicator, over Neji's quietly relieved callout. "I'm okay, sensei!" Honoka called out, to a conspicuous silence. Kagome was probably crying on the other end.

"Honoka, we need your CASE system up," Hazou urgently told Honoka. "We can't see anything in this blizzard, and Neji's fingers can't keep up with Orochimaru and the red guy's movements, got it?"

"Yes, sir," Honoka said, closing her eyes and feeling what the vibrating seals were telling her: four signatures loosely scattered near them, one blurry figure in the sky that was probably Mari, dozens of small signals which were probably summons, three that were so big they had to be the Boss Summon, and two pretty big signatures. One of them was heading out of the blizzard; the other one was -



She ducked on instinct, and lost a few strands of hair to Orochimaru's blade. How the heck that stupid Orochimaru-stinker's tongue could stand the cold, Honoka didn't know, but that was what she was dealing with. Cursing, she dropped another one of her disks and rolled forward. She could feel Orochimaru approaching her, lazily running in her general direction with his sword held lightly in one hand. It didn't seem like Orochimaru knew where Honoka was; he was running towards the place she had just been, not where she was rolling to.

"Orochimaru's on me," Honoka huffed out, just before she sensed Orochimaru making another slash. With the resistance of the snow, Honoka couldn't jump up fast enough, but the boosters - no time to think about that, just enough time to boost jump above the blade aaand Orochimaru was now turning to match her new heading at a really fast pace through the snow somehow.

Distantly, she could feel her limbs begin to fall to pieces; it was the second time that she felt Orochimaru's Killing Intent in as many minutes, she noted. No eldritch symphony of voices would give her affirmation this time, though - she would have to fight this on her own.

Fine, Honoka huffed, turning to face Orochimaru. He wanted to face a security specialist who had learned from Kagome and Hazou-sensei? She'd show him just how bad an idea it was to face a sealmaster on prepared ground, no matter how recent the ground was prepared.

Her hands flicked to her trapped disks. Charging forward with boosters in full burn, she threw out her disks with all her strength - dropping several behind her as she flew as the real trap. In the blindingly bright snow blasting in their faces, the disks should've been nearly invisible, but Orochimaru wriggled and slipped through holes in the net that Honoka hadn't even known existed. His sword flashed out any time a particularly dangerous combination approached: watching three of her ZorpBombs getting cut down was frustrating, dammit!

Suddenly, the sword whipped back out, and Honoka raised her own deactivated beam saber up. To make sure she got the timing right, she burned up her own chakra, and watched the world pass by in slow motion. Orochimaru's sword looked almost like normal speed as it came right for her midsection, but Honoka was a ninja, and vaulted right - fast!

The blade hit her beam saber and threw her back for the second time. Her fingers were numb, but she forced them to keep scattering the disks, as Orochimaru whipped his sword back and himself forward at a ludicrously high speed. Slithering and weaving, Orochimaru managed to dodge out of the way of every trap that Honoka had set. Explosion seals couldn't touch him, implosion seals were too slow, something was wrong with the Dust Bombs, and the Banshees didn't even slow him down. Someone was saying something into her earpiece, but -

Orochimaru was at her throat again. She desperately backpedaled in a circle. Blade met invisible edge over and over again, as Honoka used up all the chakra the S7 Engine could feed her. A thrust was deflected, a rising slash took off her right forearm's armor, a reverse cut left a deep gash in the shin plating, and a spinning slash smashing through her flimsy hold to leave a deep gash on her torso armor.

With each superficial wound, however, Honoka was dropping her own set of disks with her right arm, and leading Orochimaru further into her own trap array, spiralling outside.

Cut. Thrust. Smash. Punch. Half-sworded thrust.

Disk. Disk. Disk. Disk. Disk.

Her faceplate was destroyed. Her other shin armor gave way. Her torso armor cracked. Her shoulder pauldron was cut off and removed. Her skin was one massive bruise, through all the armor. Her consciousness was flayed just as certainly as her GUTS suit was falling to pieces around her.

But.

Dragging her exhausted body into one more block, a fierce smile broke out.

Because her trap disks were two-sided.

Boosting backwards at full speed, Honoka lept clear of the array she had spent the last minute getting beat up to build up. Orochimaru's tongue shot out to intercept her, and then the world became a maelstrom of sound and a rainbow of colors as the reverse side of her trapped disks activated. Implosion bombs sucked in the goo sprayed by the outer array, lightning surged outwards, a multilayered dome contained all the rest of the traps and the target - just as an earthshattering amount of explosives and Dust Bombs reduced everything inside to ash. Just to make sure of it, a set of Banshees stuck to the floor vibrated the churned mud floor until the survivor drowned in liquified mud.

Panting, Honoka touched down. The series of traps had pushed away the blizzard, apparently, and she could see the Dome clearly. The inside of the Domes was a blackened gooey ash - not even Orochimaru could've survived that, Honoka thought. Her everything hurt, and she could barely move her right hand, but the widest smile was pulled across her face. She survived Orochimaru, and even got the better of him, dammit! Exhausted, her laughter dribbled out of her, thrilled to be hurting, but alive. Babble from the communicator washed over her, as she concentrated on drawing in the sharp and cold air in deep, ragged breaths.

The Dome cracked. Honoka's knees gave out on her. The gooey walls divided, and Orochimaru stood tall, smirking in the ashes. Casually, he raised two fingers up to his hem, and brushed.

"Mistake," Neji proclaimed. "For you are within range of my divination! Eight Trigrams, Four Thousand Ninety Six Palms!"

Booms echoed throughout the battlefield, as Neji's palms left shockwaves in their wake. The tinkling of a shattered metal rang out, and Orochimaru launched himself backwards at the highest speed he could. Neji hands caught his ankle, which instantly peeled off, leaving Neji holding Orochimaru's dead skin; in the next instant, Neji leapt after him, but a curtain of fire blocked his path.

Honoka blinked. Where had that fire come from? She blinked again. The air wasn't as cold, the clouds had dispersed, and a golden ray was slowly descending. Most of all, the silence seemed to echo loudly in her head, the lack of explosions, of crackling lighting and rushing water making its absence felt.

"Impressive, new arrivals! Truly, amazing!" a voice boomed out. "Consider me enterained, incarnated Asuras! That was truly a splendid performance!" the golden figure said, loudly clapping one pair of his hands together. "You have made it worth sending Jirou to this front of the battlefield, and you have made it worth my time to come here in person," he declared, descending on a golden platform.

He was dressed from head to toe with golden armor, interspersed with glowing blood red highlights. Even from a distance, Honoka could feel the incredible degree of power that the man - no, Asura - was emanating casually. The very air seemed to cling onto his every word, awaiting the order to either relax or perish on the Asura's whim. Two arms remained folded together, as the top two contemptously clapped at their life-and-death battle.

"Tell me, then, Asuras, what prize do you seek more than life itself? A king must know what his subjects desire, in order to satisfy them, of course," the golden Asura smugly said.

Honoka grit her teeth and pushed herself up, shaking off the lingering feeling that her flesh would slough off at any moment. She looked over at Neji, on his last legs. Kagome, shaking from exhaustion and trying to comfort Mari, kneeling on the ground sobbing. Lee, covered from head to toe in corrosive venom, smiling his normal smile.

Hazou, radiating his own aura and purpose.

"Everyone we've ever lost," he said back.

The golden figure's face immediately curled up into a disgusted sneer. "Resurrection? Revival? You presume much, fools," he spat. "You believe that you can do what I cannot? How arrogant you must be."

The pressure doubled, and then redoubled upon the six of them.

"And?" Hazou asked, refusing to give even an inch.

"Tch," the Asura said, finally descending to the ground. "If you believe that you truly are stronger than me in all respects, and seek to achieve the unattainable miracle of resurrection, you will need to accomplish three things: Force the Judge of the Naraka Path to submit to your will, create an opening in the boundary of enlightenment dividing the Pure Land from reality, and then rebind the entirety of Reality together. The first task alone will break you; you will need to personally learn the lesson of each of the Six Paths before you can call youself qualified to challenge the King of Hell," the king-like figure derisively snorted.

"However," he cruely smiled, "because I believe in promoting ambition, allow me to help you on your journey - to the path of endless hunger, the Preta Path!"

The Asura waved all six of his hands in a complicated jutsu. Arrays of machinery emerged from golden portals around him at high speed, multicolored glyphs burning themselves into the air as he rose back into the sky - just out of the way of the yawning chasm opening beneath Honoka's feet, and dragging her downwards.

She looked up. All six of them were falling, falling, and falling, until the sky of the battlestrewn Asura Path winked away.



[X] Let @eaglejarl write what he wants. I trust him.
Poke, poke, poke.
 
And this wasn't just a schoolyard "your face smells" argument. This was "hey, you should join me in betraying everything you and your loved ones have ever believed in." This on top of that happening during Naruto's grieving of Jiraiya, on top of whatever skepticism Naruto might have inherently had in our missing nin origins. Because I don't think Naruto would care that we weren't "even proper missing nin." I think Naruto's a bit... well, he comes across as a bit holier-than-thou and high-minded. Not sure how much of that is his personality and how much of that is our "let's ask request deeply offensive in his time of great emotional vulnerability."

Holier than thou? I don't believe Naruto is that. He's a very prosocial person who believed in the institution of Konoha and follows normal ninja morality. He is the exemplar of the system despite opposing Hiashi.

Unfortunately, Naruto is not Ninja Jesus.
 
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Holier than thou? I don't believe Naruto is that. He's a very prosocial person who believed in the institution of Konoha and follows normal ninja morality. He is the exemplar of the system despite opposing Hiashi.

Unfortunately, Naruto is not Ninja Jesus.
Yeah, we get that title, after we went to the afterlife and back to rescue Daizen from his mistakes :p
 
We should give Sasuke a sealing load out as a gift

Maybe a free "the Goketsu will train x amount of future Uchiha ninja in sealing." The Uchiha have exactly one active ninja: Sasuke. He's going to need help reestablishing the identity of an Uchiha. It'll probably be a few decades until Sasuke can cash it in, but it'll be there if he needs it.

That said: we should wait and see if he'd be willing to accept such a gift, or if it'd hurt his pride. We need to get to know Sasuke first, but I'm thinking I'll add it to my Long Term List.
 
Thank you very much. I'm grateful for the concern. In this case, don't sweat it. That actually sounds like a fun scene.

The Mori voice is the enemy of the anti-Youth-alliance and must be resisted until all is ice.


Note that it can only erase things that happen during the jutsu and a few seconds before. It's a "the sentry doesn't remember me walking past him" jutsu, not a "You forget a random thing of my choice" jutsu.


Quick reminder that voting was extended until 1pm today. That's 6 hours from now.

That sounds more like failing to consolidate working memory into short-term memory in the same way that people don't remember falling asleep or fainting, but that might just be the in me.


It's still mental time travel though and I wish Hazou had that ability so he could save scum himself out of hard dialogue choices.

E: We should make that our next bloodline ability. And every time it's used a random user who has posted before in the thread gets banned.
Since its ~5 hours before the deadline, experience tells me that major changes would not be appreciated without truly significant reasons behind them.

How about making it a random user who has voted in the last event? Asking for a friend.


One thing I noticed: We made future contracts with chocolate merchants.

We may want to eventually expand that into a future market and profit off from fees. That it may cause future market instability...notwithstanding.

Hell, we could just introduce the Nobel-winning math necessary to render collateralized debt obligations standardized tradable instruments. After all, the market is robust, and it's not as if the whole global economy will collapse under the leveraged flaws of an inappropriately valued novel financial instrument, right?


Ah, right, I should've pointed this out. I think just teaching them MEW won't be enough: we'll need to actually pay them to build walls, on a continuous basis. Otherwise, they'll just sign up once, get taught, build one wall, and wander off. More relevantly, I think Tsunade would share this view:

But it's a comparably minor detail, Hazou'll probably come up with it on his own.

It's 301 by my count. You can reword "we're looking to broaden them and coordinate with your effort" into "we're looking to broaden them, coordinating with your efforts" and "meet with her at her convenience" into "meet her at her convenience" to fix that.

Reminder that a genin with a storage scroll can provide 90% of the value in under an hour, and the civilians can fill the rest in at their leisure.


I think we should let him come to us. He thought we were a stinking stinker of a traitor, but then Hazou --in a wondrously cathartic scene --kicked down Naruto's door, threw his accomplishments in the arrogant bastard's face, and then asked "what have you done in comparison?" And, tellingly enough, Naruto came up blank, ashamed, and uncertain. So Naruto's grappling with the fact that a "stinking sinker of a traitor" follows Jiraiya's dream of peace more closely than he does. So, I'd say let's give him time to think while we let our actions speak for ourselves.

Besides, I'm actually more in favor of befriending Sasuke than Naruto at this point.
Edit: And this coming from someone who loathes canon-sasuke and was wary of introducing his character into MfD.

Well, since he didn't immediately freak out, there's at least no point in continuing to exclude him.

Clearly, we are going to have to get Hazou's mother killed in front of him in a fashion which retains his ability and inclination to steal her eyes from her head. The latter might be the rate-limiting step in the procedure and we should plan ahead. Let's ask Mari.


Naruto hates us a lot at this point, from our galaxybrain plan to threaten the Hokage to get shinies to our treasonous collaboration with Akatsuki. He's been willing to not act on that hate, and we've forced him to confront the idea that we are, perhaps, still an example of the Will of Fire, but remember:

Naruto's a teenager.

He's a hot-blooded teenager with very strong hate towards us. No amount of logic will shake that hate right away, and until it does start to simmer instead of boil any interaction with Naruto will be tainted with 'I hate your guts and would probably shove a Rasengan down your throat if you weren't legally a Leaf-nin I'm sworn to protect'. Our bold action last time gave Naruto the seeds to get over his hate, but he's still a hot-blooded teenager and it won't be easy or quick to get over such strong emotions.

tl;dr, yeah, wait for him to come to us, or at least give it some time. Maybe after a few months to a year he'll be willing to participate in neutral things like Game Night without raising tensions, but right now we'd probably just make things worse by contacting him.

Also, seconded on Sasuke being easier to befriend at this point. We don't, per se, have much reason to interact with him, but we heard his stance on us a while ago and I wager we can figure out something to do with him that'd work out. Heck, we could start with an easy sparring request, there's few things more inoffensive and generalized than that.

(Just, ah, keep in mind that he has a dim view on Uplift and civilian actualization, so the things we do come up with to befriend him should avoid that topic and treat it as a distant unrelated part of Hazou)

Reminder that this is a rational-quest. This Naruto has clearly spent his entire life under his entire village's concentrated efforts to install gratitude and loyalty. This is opposed to the canon example of, "let's take the remaining half of our national superweapon and stick it in a newborn before spending his entire formative years treating him as an impoverished pariah with zero emotional connection to us."

I know the GMs try to minimize divergence, but we need to keep in mind that the entire premise is based on somebody making a decision on par with "The Hunger Games" in counterproductive stupidity.


"Mmm. There are individual people in Leaf I care about, but it's not like I ever swore allegiance to a second village. If I have to go, I go. Feel free to use this if you have to turn missing-nin again, or if there's no Leaf left to be loyal to and you can't make a break for Mist."

"If I ever suddenly disappear, search this cave top-to-bottom."

*Hint* *Hint*


"Tell me about it." Mori laughed, making shadow puppets with her fingers in the background.

Definitely in on the Nara arrangement.


Mori nodded. "Pro tip for the future: you do not tell Nara, or Mori, or any of the others, that you're looking into this sort of thing unless you really, really trust them.

Excellent advice. What's the current pla- ohhhhh.


"In short, imagine that you're facing Mari-sensei, and she's stopped playing around."

Perhaps the most frightening words ever written...


We still have to go to that parade with him.

I am absolutely thrilled that the Hivemind didn't burn that ticket in a fit of momentary pique on something ridiculous, like giving it to Rock Lee or something equally idiotic,

(Man, that would suck. Funny, but suck, Can you imagine?)


Anyways, yeah. Naruto will eventually come around, but I feel as if getting cousin Sasuke onboard Team Uplift would be better ROI for the near future.
And this wasn't just a schoolyard "your face smells" argument. This was "hey, you should join me in betraying everything you and your loved ones have ever believed in." This on top of that happening during Naruto's grieving of Jiraiya, on top of whatever skepticism Naruto might have inherently had in our missing nin origins. Because I don't think Naruto would care that we weren't "even proper missing nin." I think Naruto's a bit... well, he comes across as a bit holier-than-thou and high-minded. Not sure how much of that is his personality and how much of that is our "let's ask request deeply offensive in his time of great emotional vulnerability."
Dude has been cultivated from birth to be Supreme Leader by everybody else he has ever met and not murdered. He is literally royalty.
 
Reminder that a genin with a storage scroll can provide 90% of the value in under an hour, and the civilians can fill the rest in at their leisure.
I'm sorry. I'd actually thought about including this idea when I set out to optimize kiba's plan, but it slipped my mind while I was in the process of doing so.
 
I'm sorry. I'd actually thought about including this idea when I set out to optimize kiba's plan, but it slipped my mind while I was in the process of doing so.

That is being said, I am all for boring but effective uplift plans, but I am skeptical that it will be cost efficient to use storage seal, unless it's the Goketsu clan(SC Hazo, really) mass producing enough storage seals to make it cost effective.
 
Reminder that a genin with a storage scroll can provide 90% of the value in under an hour, and the civilians can fill the rest in at their leisure.
I'm not sure what you're referring to here, but keep in mind that scrolls have a limit of 100kg and 1m^3. They are terrible at transporting granite, or even large amounts of wood.
 
That is being said, I am all for boring but effective uplift plans, but I am skeptical that it will be cost efficient to use storage seal, unless it's the Goketsu clan(SC Hazo, really) mass producing enough storage seals to make it cost effective.
I'm not sure what you're referring to here, but keep in mind that scrolls have a limit of 100kg and 1m^3. They are terrible at transporting granite, or even large amounts of wood.

*Sigh*


Sweet Jashin, just boil the frelling water and add some alcohol and vinegar for long-term storage. There is no reason to go to great expense to add an, "inimical horrors from beyond time and space ", failure mode to critical infrastructure.

Sunny said that walls were most important, but she also said that that was only because of their deterrent effect rather than their actual integrity. That means that there is little reason to invest in effective walls instead of cheap imitations. Soak sailcloth in slaked lime and let it dry over a tent frame.

Of course, her justification was that villages she uplifted tended to go Roanoke shortly thereafter, which she presumes is due to chakra beasts, but is a better match for scorch squads. We should probably decide whether to bring them up.
I do not enjoy repeating myself.

There is zero reason to believe that storage seals sterilize anything. Sunny's important insight about walls was that a village only needs to look like it has serious walls, which can be achieved dirt cheap by civilians alone if they're just convinced that they can protect themselves by soaking sailcloth in slaked line and mounting it on a tent frame. If you want insulation, a macerator can produce sawdust/wood chips in quantities measured in hundreds of tons per hour.
Again, according to Tsunade, 90% of the value of walls is deterrence. Enough sailcloth, rope, and lime to put a frame around an entire settlement in an hour would fit in a couple of storage seals. Civilians could move in and ram earth into the frames to turn them into real walls at their leisure.

Why? Why do I do this to myself?
 
That is being said, I am all for boring but effective uplift plans, but I am skeptical that it will be cost efficient to use storage seal, unless it's the Goketsu clan(SC Hazo, really) mass producing enough storage seals to make it cost effective.
Okay, let's math it out.

There are, at most, about one thousand four hundred civilian villages scattered across Fire (300'000 population, subtract 90'000 living in cities, divide by 150 Dunbar's number). Making one thousand four hundred storage scrolls would take us about two weeks of work, at which point we can hire a series of courier missions which visit each village, unseal the materials there, instruct civilians to build the decoy walls or else, then check whether they did the job on return trip. Assuming a ninja could visit ten villages per day (an underestimate, I feel) and we can hire ten chuunin to do the job, it would take an additional fourteen days. Less than a month to equip every village in Fire with decoy walls. In resource terms, it'd cost one hundred hours of Hazou's time, ten B-ranks, and whatever is the cost of two square kilometers of cheap cloth and one kilometer of rope (assuming round perimeter, two meters tall decoy walls, and villages one hundred meters wide on average).

In comparison, going off of @Inferno Vulpix's calculations, a ninja with 35 CR and 30 MEW would be able to create 80 meters of wall per day, which means about a week of work for each 100-meters-wide village. Assuming ten ninja working on it non-stop two shifts per day, it would require approximately thirteen years of work.

I rather think the former is dramatically more time- and resource-efficient, even accounting for the square kilometers of cloth necessary.
 
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It works only enough to deters beasts that thinks walls are obstacles. Once a chakra beast learned that it can easily be knocked over, then it's game over. Now that beast can terrorize villagers.

But I suppose MEW is Overkill. In which case, we can build palisade instead. Wooden wall, instead of fake walls, and I am sure there's no real shortage of wood to be found in Fire country and any given village.
 
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It works only enough to deters beasts that thinks walls are obstacles. Once a chakra beast learned that it can easily be knocked over, then it's game over. Now that beast can terrorize villagers.
That's true for MEW walls as well, according to Tsunade.
In which case, we can build palisade instead. Wooden wall, instead of fake walls.
If it were this easy, wouldn't the civilians have done it themselves?
 
That's true for MEW walls as well, according to Tsunade.

I'll have to find the damn link where Tsunade specifically claimed that.

In any case, a MEW wall is sturdy and strong. It doesn't need to be 100% effective against all chakra beast attacks to save lives.

If it were this easy, wouldn't the civilians have done it themselves?

Excuse me? I never said anything about palisade walls being easy or low labor intensity for civilians. Just that we have plenty availability of wood.

Also, it doesn't spend chakra like water like MEW does.
 
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