Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Typo here. Pretty sure it should say 'walls, sealing, and floor.' It would be terribly un-paranoid to assume that enemies won't try to tunnel up through the floor or down from the roof.
... did Kagome not already apologize for copying the seals on Noburi's barrel when he made that special one for Noburi's birthday? If I recall correctly, it was a pretty big bit of character development because when Noburi accepted his apology it showed that Noburi was finally okay with sharing secrets from his old clan with the team.
Edit:
Hmmm. Apparently I was wrong.
Having a willing trade partner in another village would be extremely useful, especially if it's a ninja clan.
I'm inclined to take his offer if we can think up something that doesn't cause us to commit treason against Leaf. Trade with a ninja clan in another village would be a huge step towards lasting peace. Also it will help us save Ami.
Maybe we could offer information on Isan if Asuma is okay with it?
Also, for anything that requires getting permission from Asuma, we could probably have Keiko ask Naruto to help convince him. He's a KEI coordinator, so it's very reasonable that he would want to help as long as Hazō doesn't bungle it up by going anywhere near him and making it seem like we just want a looming S ranker.
Last edited:
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I will go ahead and say that I will never vote for a plan that has Mari forced into a political marriage. I don't care if that same plan has Hazou achieving apotheosis and becoming the God of the Out, the Painter of the World.
Mari is too extremely valuable to lose. She's the whole reason why we acquired or starting to assuming control of Leaf's economy.
Plus, without her, we would have a harder time planning social and political moves.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
...you know what's a seal idea that we've made effectively redundant as old technology, is a trapped offering, and yet will probably be worth basically everything he's offered?
Skytowers.
Like, let's not bullshit here; we know that Mist research teams are already long since working on cracking skywalkers. If Mist hasn't finished theirs yet, Wakahisa Yusuji gets to walk back with "the seal concept that led to the original development of the skywalker", the 5SB skytowers. We've since made a far superior skywalkers with the airdome seal (mostly by virtue of existing), but by providing them examples of a 5SB platform for aerial supremacy, it may be possible to bait Mist's research teams into chasing a 5SB-based skywalker, delaying their own research by critical months.
In exchange, we give up a tech that's a year old and ten generations of strategic thinking outdated that's really only a clever utilization of common technology. I don't want to say selling this to Asuma should be trivial...but we get the chance to get Mist to pay us to get them to chase a bad path for skywalkers.
Skytowers.
Like, let's not bullshit here; we know that Mist research teams are already long since working on cracking skywalkers. If Mist hasn't finished theirs yet, Wakahisa Yusuji gets to walk back with "the seal concept that led to the original development of the skywalker", the 5SB skytowers. We've since made a far superior skywalkers with the airdome seal (mostly by virtue of existing), but by providing them examples of a 5SB platform for aerial supremacy, it may be possible to bait Mist's research teams into chasing a 5SB-based skywalker, delaying their own research by critical months.
In exchange, we give up a tech that's a year old and ten generations of strategic thinking outdated that's really only a clever utilization of common technology. I don't want to say selling this to Asuma should be trivial...but we get the chance to get Mist to pay us to get them to chase a bad path for skywalkers.
Last edited:
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
He has a set of seals he knows how to make
Fixed, thanks.
Heh. Fair point, although it needs to say "walls and floor", since the ceiling (ahem!) is covered in spikes.
Also, hazards of making me constantly fix things and thereby notice issues: The words "and the knowledge of how" have been changed to "along with experts".
Mist likely already have skywalkers.
- Location
- America
If they do, Yasuji will refuse the skytowers and we will confirm or mostly confirm that Mist has Skywalkers. Either way, we stand to gain.
Edit: bad idea
Last edited:
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
I"m with you here. I say we stop him and tell him that any further negotiations will be had in either the presence of Asuma himself or a representative of his that will convey the negotiations to him.
- Location
- Europe
He isn't negotiating with Leaf, he is negotating with Goketsu. Probably because he wants to keep the Wakahisa stuff as secret as possible (he doesn't actually know that Nobby told Asuma or maybe he does and wants to protect the rest) and for his own political gains like @_brightwing said.
Also, we don't have to agree to everything right now, most important for now is to make a good first deal/impression, figure out how to help Ami and not fuck up for further talks.
Also Tsunade, Kabuto and Oro can't figure out how their seals and bloodline trick works? Yeah sure, funny joke.
I see no harm in letting Mari play with him, maybe we get a cute little Wakahisa baby out of this.
- Pronouns
- They/Them
You don't seem to understand the political/personal situation - right now Asuma is watching like a hawk, searching for anything that would let him execute Hazou because he believes him to be a danger to Leaf. A traitor. The genjutsu fiction is just that - a fiction. In order to regain a positive relationship with the Hokage we cannot make decisions this important without involving him as greatly and as publicly as possible. The treason crisis is. Not. Over. If it was we'd be totally free to negotiate but it isn't. Just 'consulting Mari' isn't going to be enough. Asuma needs to feel like he's made an impression on Hazou. He needs to believe that Hazou has been sufficiently terrified and is submitting to his authority. That the most unpredictable and problematic clan has stepped back into line. That means we do not exercise our power without his say-so.
End the negotiation immediately and convey the Wakahisa representative directly to the Hokage Tower.
Last edited:
- Location
- Europe
Mari would have already stopped this if that was needed or made up an excuse. Or maybe Mari is suddenly completely incompetent.
I also didn't say: "Offer him an alliance that will bypass Asuma and do treason" and Wakahisa clan secrets aren't his business. You do remember that Asuma allowed Noburi/us to try to steal secrets from another village?
For the rest: Asuma expects us not to commit any further treason, talking with another clan is completely fine or else Jiraiya would have killed Shikaku for wanting the Mori on board for example. Wakahisa guy probably asked Asuma if he can talk to us anyway and Ami did whatever she wanted and Asuma didn't kick her out.
I am not really sure what you think I suggested anyway.
"Be nice, make friends, help Ami"
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Shikaku had decades of service as one of Leaf's most loyal and competent ninja and a clan whose history is synonymous with Konoha. He was above reproach. Hazou is most certainly not. We are in a weaker position right now than we were under Hiashi - we weren't proven innocent of treason, our clan provided a convenient fiction for the Hokage to keep us alive and then used a fuckton of political influence to make it in his best interests to accept it - and we need to act accordingly. Mari isn't going to fix all of our political problems, she isn't going to catch every bad idea or mistake. She isn't perfect. Asuma does expect us to commit treason which is why we need to show a definite change in the Goketsu's MO asap. Assuming that the Wakahisa representative spoke to Asuma is just... what? How do you think that is a good stance to take? We barely escaped getting executed, assumptions are a thing we cannot afford. Ami sure as hell did not do whatever she wanted. She had massive political power to back herself up. And a lot of that power she burnt to keep Hazou alive.
Finally, what I think you suggested? I think you suggested that this whole thing was just fine, we don't need to worry, just keep on with business as normal. Also that little tidbit about Tsunade Kabuto and Orochimaru easily cracking the Wakahisa barrels for us was just a *chef's kiss* brilliant touch of arrogance. What makes you even think they'll care to help? Or that they would deign to share the information if they did manage it? Or that they don't have a fuckton of other projects to deal with and maybe aren't the Goketsu's minions.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
It strikes me as odd as to why this would even be a thing in a ninja society. Specifically one based on hereditary techniques. Of all the horrible things ninja have to go through in this crapsack world, this one isn't even the worst. There might even be workarounds that don't involve physical contact.
But maybe the Wakahisa are less concerned about these things than the Nara are. Since they still expect Keiko to produce heirs even when her interests also lie elsewhere, mildly put.
- Location
- Europe
Sure, but I guess you would agree with me that every non-Hazou clan head would be allowed to talk with foreigners as long as Asuma allows it? Because that's what I meant, we might need to be more careful, but it's not TREASON to talk to foreigners.
Never said that, but she generally knows what we are allowed to do and what not. She also correctly predicted Mist politics back before the chunnin exam and the current situation with Earth, so it's generally good enough to trust her.
Here is her analysis for now:
You seem to be disagreeing, that's fine. Honestly, I think you're overstating the danger of our current political situation and are simply overreacting.
I assume that the junior diplomat, who came with a senior, didn't fuck up by coming to us and starting a dialogue, why would that be the case anyway? Do you think everyone else is stupid or incompetent?
I didn't suggest this. I didn't even have a proper suggestion beyond: "Guys chill, let's talk to the guy".
Sorry for making a joke about us having possible access to three genius medics.
Way to be a fun guy. Please get off your high horse.
- Location
- London
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
This is one possible picture.
From the description, I was picturing it more like the seals define a region that is flexible in the Chakra-Volume Dimension (CVD). Push chakra in, the 3d membrane defined by the water "expands", and when the membrane is destroyed (by consumption), it "contracts", squeezing the chakra back out. The seals wear out after a few years, because the "elasticity" degrades in the region of CVD membrane that the seals access.
When they make a new design for a new barrel, they are just pointing the same concept at a different elastic point in the CVD.
At least, that's how I'd do it
- Location
- Yes.
So I'm unsure what our plan should be, does Hazou believe it's appropriate for us to be making an offer now as opposed to having him dismissed so we can "mull it over" or similar? I seem to recall that when we did the "deal with it later" dance with Orochimaru he dismissed us due to being useless without the clan to talk him through.
Well. He's not Orochimaru. Beside, it would be poor form of us to make an offer without knowing what exactly we can offer him.
- Location
- Yes.
Or what's even worth offering to him, which is also concerning.
It's probably why he's so forward with him making this offer: he knows we're an inexperienced Clan Head, both in terms of literal time spent as Clan Head as well as in terms of training to be a good Clan Head, and is hoping we let stuff slip when we make our offer.
Stuff like how Kurosawa clan members can copy + draw other people's seals, or the entire Sharingan business. Nothing stops the prick from claiming he already knew after the fact, or that it's not really valuable (e.g., as blackmail material, if we vaguely claim that it's viable stuff on Lady Ren).
We could offer the foreign ninja exchange program. Have Wakahisa academy students growing up in Leaf. Leaf academy student raised with Wakahisa. Sure there is security risk. But ambassadors themselves are a security risk. This program could foster closer relations between villages and make future ambassadors.
edit:
We could offer a economic Advisor for Mist. Tell them the secret to Leaf's power, the way they treat their civilians. The advisor would help implement economic reform for Mist. This would be a boon to Mist, not Wakahisa specifically. But the Wakahisa could leverage some thanks from the Kage for it.
These programs definitely would want Asuma approval though
edit:
We could offer a economic Advisor for Mist. Tell them the secret to Leaf's power, the way they treat their civilians. The advisor would help implement economic reform for Mist. This would be a boon to Mist, not Wakahisa specifically. But the Wakahisa could leverage some thanks from the Kage for it.
These programs definitely would want Asuma approval though
Last edited:
- Location
- Liverpool
I agree with having Mari take point, though I will say that Noburi, Keiko and Hazou have all also seemed to set him back at some point, so we aren't out of our depth at least. However, I very much agree with the "if we don't talk to Asuma first, we're going to die" argument (see below, even if it's a touch aggressive). If he's the new diplomat, he'll be around for a bit. Asking for a bit of time and dismissing him temporarily, sending Mari to talk to Asuma, and brainstorming with the others things to give him that are kinda valuable that he wouldn't know aren't very valuable.
I'm hesitant to give too many Mist secrets, because it really paints us as people who will sell off info as soon as we get it, which could harm what they're willing to teach Noburi. Also, we need to be careful that this isn't just a plot to get Noburi killed so that Leaf doesn't have his bloodline to abuse (which is exactly what this hivemind is planning).