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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Kiba said:
[X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
  • Priority#1: Acquire housing.
    • Accompany Mari when she negotiates with the Tower for money.
      • Suggest printing broadsheets about Orochimaru's play to gain additional leverage.
    • Possibilities:
      • (first choice) The Shimura estate.
      • Acquire land surrounding our inn.
      • Have KEI ninja scout other potential locations. Avoid those near the Hyuuga.
  • Underground expansions:
    • Lease/buy underground space underneath properties adjacent to the tavern; put Mari on the case.
    • Using Earth jutsu (KEI member or Pangolins), build tunnels and rooms there, connected to our tavern. Employ civilians for subsequent constructions.
  • If we purchase an new estate
    • Patch it up. Prioritize apartments for KEI ninja.
    • Build a new underground network.
    • Ensure it looks as unassailable and intimidating as possible, so Rock ninja avoid it.
  • Talk to Kabuto about Noburi.
  • Ask Mother Nana (or Noburi) for some of her finest (and safest) hallucinogens.
    • Meditate in the training ground where you had the whale sealing failure. Try to sit at the exact spot.
      • Overwatch: Naruto, Noburi, and Mari. Employ genjutsu and restraints if it becomes necessary.
    • Attempt to contact other Paths for spiritual guidance. Reality's probably still very thin around you.
      • Preparations:
        • Attempt to widen dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
        • Arrange an array of party trick seals around you in the most eldritch fashion possible.
        • Play the spooky flute music again.
        • Have some genin to stand around doing the inverse of the dance of "Pray Reality Does Not Break Down".
        • Drench the ground with leftover (from the Basement) chicken blood (so it smells like death).
        • Focus overwhelmingly on the feeling of hunting demons that was Zabuza's aura. Mentally taunt them: "Here I am, come on and get me!"
      • When it works:
        • "Haha! Who is the idiot now ghosts!?"
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Updated action plan thanks to @Noumero
 
Oneiros said:
Degree of control over the Academy's curriculum (consult Kagome)
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Could get Ebisu to give Kagome a good review.
eaglejarl said:
Kagome-sensei nodded decisively. "I want him to watch me teach Honoka, and to see the progress she's made. If he thinks my methods are good, I want him to tell those stinkers at the Academy that they're doing it wrong and they should do what I tell them. Leaf's education system sucks goat snot. Need to fix that."
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Kiba said:
[X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
  • Priority#1: Acquire housing.
    • Accompany Mari when she negotiates with the Tower for money.
      • Suggest printing broadsheets about Orochimaru's play to gain additional leverage.
    • Possibilities:
      • (first choice) The Shimura estate.
      • Acquire land surrounding our inn.
      • Have KEI ninja scout other potential locations. Avoid those near the Hyuuga.
  • Underground expansions:
    • Lease/buy underground space underneath properties adjacent to the tavern; put Mari on the case.
    • Using Earth jutsu (KEI member or Pangolins), build tunnels and rooms there, connected to our tavern. Employ civilians for subsequent constructions.
  • If we purchase an new estate
    • Patch it up. Prioritize apartments for KEI ninja.
    • Build a new underground network.
    • Ensure it looks as unassailable and intimidating as possible, so Rock ninja avoid it.
  • Talk to Kabuto about Noburi.
  • Ask Mother Nana (or Noburi) for some of her finest (and safest) hallucinogens.
    • Meditate in the training ground where you had the whale sealing failure. Try to sit at the exact spot.
      • Overwatch: Naruto, Noburi, and Mari. Employ genjutsu and restraints if it becomes necessary.
    • Attempt to contact other Paths for spiritual guidance. Reality's probably still very thin around you.
      • Preparations:
        • Attempt to widen dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
        • Arrange an array of party trick seals around you in the most eldritch fashion possible.
        • Play the spooky flute music again.
        • Drench the ground with leftover (from the Basement) chicken blood (so it smells like death).
        • Focus on trying to contact someone(Jiraiya, Hazo's dad, a Buddha, or Sage)
      • When it works:
        • "Haha! Who is the idiot now ghosts!?"
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Got rid of Genin doing the spooky dance and Captain Zabuza.
 
Kiba said:
[X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
  • Priority#1: Acquire housing.
    • Accompany Mari when she negotiates with the Tower for money.
      • Suggest printing broadsheets about Orochimaru's play to gain additional leverage.
    • Possibilities:
      • (first choice) The Shimura estate.
      • Acquire land surrounding our inn.
      • Have KEI ninja scout other potential locations. Avoid those near the Hyuuga.
  • Underground expansions:
    • Lease/buy underground space underneath properties adjacent to the tavern; put Mari on the case.
    • Using Earth jutsu (KEI member or Pangolins), build tunnels and rooms there, connected to our tavern. Employ civilians for subsequent constructions.
  • If we purchase an new estate
    • Patch it up. Prioritize apartments for KEI ninja.
    • Build a new underground network.
    • Ensure it looks as unassailable and intimidating as possible, so Rock ninja avoid it.
  • Talk to Kabuto about Noburi.
  • Conduct daily creative training.
  • Debrief the rest of the clan + Naruto at his place on the scroll thing as per Keiko's suggestion. Hazo got a crazy idea:
    • Ask Mother Nana (or Noburi) for some of her finest (and safest) hallucinogens.
    • Meditate in the training ground where you had the whale sealing failure. Try to sit at the exact spot.
      • Overwatch: Naruto, Noburi, and Mari. Employ genjutsu and restraints if it becomes necessary.
    • Attempt to contact other Paths for spiritual guidance. Reality's probably still very thin around you.
      • Preparations:
        • Attempt to widen dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
          • Arrange an array of party trick seals around you in the most eldritch fashion possible.
          • Play the spooky flute music again.
          • Drench the ground with leftover (from the Basement) chicken blood (so it smells like death).
          • Focus on trying to contact someone(Jiraiya, Hazo's dad, a Buddha, or Sage)
      • When it works:
        • "Haha! Who is the idiot now ghosts!?"
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Added back in debriefing as suggested by Keiko, and creative training.
 
Kiba said:
Underground expansions:
  • Lease/buy underground space underneath properties adjacent to the tavern; put Mari on the case.
  • Using Earth jutsu (KEI member or Pangolins), build tunnels and rooms there, connected to our tavern. Employ civilians for subsequent constructions.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Correct me if I'm wrong (@MMKII ?) but isn't this meant to be as an alternative for if we don't get estates? Shouldn't this be part of the original "get housing" thing?
Kiba said:
When it works:
  • "Haha! Who is the idiot now ghosts!?"
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Let's not, please. Mocking the Sage or the Buddha seems unwise, given that we're trying to get something from them.
 
@Oneiros @Noumero

This is one of the most Sith Lord worthy plans I've ever seen. It would be a literal crime not to do this, IMO. Bless your evil hearts.

faflec said:
Correct me if I'm wrong (@MMKII ?) but isn't this meant to be as an alternative for if we don't get estates? Shouldn't this be part of the original "get housing" thing?
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No, do it anyway. The worst case scenario is we magically get a new compound this quickly and don't need it to house people right away, and so can use it for Research Initiative stuff or rig the whole thing to blow the whole city block sky high as a trap for the inevitable invasion battle.
 
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faflec said:
Correct me if I'm wrong (@MMKII ?) but isn't this meant to be as an alternative for if we don't get estates? Shouldn't this be part of the original "get housing" thing?

Let's not, please. Mocking the Sage or the Buddha seems unwise, given that we're trying to get something from them.
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I highly doubtful someone so wise and benevolent would be offended. But still, it's bad manner.
 
Kiba said:
I highly doubtful someone so wise and benevolent would be offended.
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Click to shrink...

Have we been given any indication the Sage is any of these? He sounds like a complete thoughtless airhead that has no regard for how his ideas will actually pan out in the future in practicality.

...

It must also run in the family.
 
Kiba said:
[X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
  • Priority#1: Acquire housing.
    • Accompany Mari when she negotiates with the Tower for money.
      • Suggest printing broadsheets about Orochimaru's play to gain additional leverage.
    • Possibilities:
      • (first choice) The Shimura estate.
      • Acquire land surrounding our inn.
      • Have KEI ninja scout other potential locations. Avoid those near the Hyuuga.
  • Underground expansions:
    • Lease/buy underground space underneath properties adjacent to the tavern; put Mari on the case.
    • Using Earth jutsu (KEI member or Pangolins), build tunnels and rooms there, connected to our tavern. Employ civilians for subsequent constructions.
  • If we purchase an new estate
    • Patch it up. Prioritize apartments for KEI ninja.
    • Build a new underground network.
    • Ensure it looks as unassailable and intimidating as possible, so Rock ninja avoid it.
  • Talk to Kabuto about Noburi.
  • Conduct daily creative training.
  • Debrief the rest of the clan + Naruto at his place on the scroll thing as per Keiko's suggestion. Hazo got a crazy idea:
    • Ask Mother Nana (or Noburi) for some of her finest (and safest) hallucinogens.
    • Meditate in the training ground where you had the whale sealing failure. Try to sit at the exact spot.
      • Overwatch: Naruto, Noburi, and Mari. Employ genjutsu and restraints if it becomes necessary.
    • Attempt to contact other Paths for spiritual guidance. Reality's probably still very thin around you.
      • Preparations:
        • Attempt to widen dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
          • Arrange an array of party trick seals around you in the most eldritch fashion possible.
          • Play the spooky flute music again.
          • Drench the ground with leftover (from the Basement) chicken blood (so it smells like death).
          • Focus on trying to contact someone(Jiraiya, Hazo's dad, a Buddha, or Sage)
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Deleted a couple of line for fear of offending the Sage.

EDIT: DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! VOTE!

And also consider my plan.
 
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Kiba said:
[X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
  • Priority#1: Acquire housing.
    • Accompany Mari when she negotiates with the Tower for money.
      • Suggest printing broadsheets about Orochimaru's play to gain additional leverage.
    • Possibilities:
      • (first choice) The Shimura estate.
      • Acquire land surrounding our inn.
      • Have KEI ninja scout other potential locations. Avoid those near the Hyuuga.
  • Underground expansions:
    • Lease/buy underground space underneath properties adjacent to the tavern; put Mari on the case.
    • Using Earth jutsu (KEI member or Pangolins), build tunnels and rooms there, connected to our tavern. Employ civilians for subsequent constructions.
  • If we purchase an new estate
    • Patch it up. Prioritize apartments for KEI ninja.
    • Build a new underground network.
    • Ensure it looks as unassailable and intimidating as possible, so Rock ninja avoid it.
  • Talk to Kabuto about Noburi.
  • Conduct daily creative training.
  • Debrief the rest of the clan + Naruto at his place on the scroll thing as per Keiko's suggestion. Hazo got a crazy idea:
    • Ask Mother Nana (or Noburi) for some of her finest (and safest) hallucinogens.
    • Meditate in the training ground where you had the whale sealing failure. Try to sit at the exact spot.
      • Overwatch: Naruto, Noburi, and Mari. Employ genjutsu and restraints if it becomes necessary.
    • Attempt to contact other Paths for spiritual guidance. Reality's probably still very thin around you.
      • Preparations:
        • Attempt to widen dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
          • Give offerings and pray to the ancestors.
          • Focus on trying to contact someone(Jiraiya, Hazo's dad, a Buddha, or Sage)
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Made my plan more tame.
 
Do we expect Jashin is a contactable Out entity? Should we try to phone Jashin up?

Maybe they can pass a massage along to Hidan for us. Wouldn't that be great? Highspeed prayer communication!
 
MMKII said:
Do we expect Jashin is a contactable Out entity? Should we try to phone Jashin up?
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Note that Tsunade doesn't think he's real:
Tsunade said:
The cultists screamed and charged.

Their coordination was terrible; they were coming from 11 and 1 instead of getting a proper 9-3 split the way they would have if they were competent warriors trained in working together instead of insane maniacs ready to die for their nonexistent god.
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Of course, knowing Out, he does actually exists somewhere out there at the far reaches of the possibility-space, but—
Choice of Mentors said:
Rolling a Nat 100 on Major Sealing Failures table is a prerequisite for calling Him into existence.
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This is the juiciest line from the last update, by the way:
eaglejarl said:
What need concern you is that attempting to interface with inimical entities of terrible power requires certain vital preparations, including means to contact the relevant entity and only the relevant entity, and to have defences in place that have been optimised against that particular entity.
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It postulates an entire discipline centred around locating, categorizing, and contacting extra-universal entities, and implies that the Nara/the Five have fairly extensive knowledge of it. I wish we didn't have to waste time on stupid politicking and could get around to working on the real issues.
 
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Noumero said:
This is the juiciest line from the last update, by the way:

It postulates an entire discipline centred around locating, categorizing, and contacting extra-universal entities, and implies that the Nara/the Five have fairly extensive knowledge of it. I wish we didn't have to waste time on stupid politicking and could get around to working on the real issues.
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This is actually really promising for my expected path of necromancy. Seance seals that call forth the desired soul from the Pure Land moving up to seals that pluck the soul out and stick them in a prosthetic body, which maybe later with extensive biosealing gets upgraded to a biological body again.
 
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Adhoc vote count started by eaglejarl on Nov 5, 2019 at 11:45 PM, finished with 271 posts and 18 votes.
  • 27
    [x] Action plan: Hugs for snakes
    [X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
    [X] And Push It Somewhere Else
    [X] Action Plan: Contracts and Contacts
    [x] Action Plan: On Putting the Universe Down
    [X] Multiverse theory
    [X] Go full Madara, And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara. I'm not talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara either. Hell, I'm not even talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikodou abilities and being capable of both Amateratsu and Tsukuyomi genjutsu), equipped with his Gunbai, a perfect Susano'o, control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu. I'm also not talking about Kono Yo no Kyūseishu Futarime no Rikudō Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan (which is capable of Enton Amaterasu, Izanagi, Izanami and the Tsyukuyomi Genjutsu), his two original Rinnegan (which grant him Chikushōdō, Shuradō, Tendō, Ningendō, Jigokudō, Gakidō, Gedō, Banshō Ten'in, Chibaku Tensei, Shinra Tensei, Tengai Shinsei and Banbutsu Sōzō) and a third Tomoe Rinnegan on his forehead, capable of using Katon, Fūton, Raiton, Doton, Suiton, Mokuton, Ranton, Inton, Yōton and even Onmyōton Jutsu, equipped with his Gunbai(capable of using Uchihagaeshi) and a Shakujō because he is a master in kenjutsu and taijutsu, a perfect Susano'o (that can use Yasaka no Magatama ), control of both the Juubi and the Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA and face implanted on his chest, his four Rinbo Hengoku Clones guarding him and nine Gudōdama floating behind him AFTER he absorbed Senjutsu from the First Hokage, entered Rikudō Senjutsu Mode, cast Mugen Tsukuyomi on everybody and used Shin: Jukai Kōtan so he can use their Chakra while they are under Genjutsu. I'm definitely NOT Talking about sagemode sage of the six paths Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Super Saiyan 4 Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, Rinnegan, Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, and Geass doujutsus, equipped with Shining Trapezohedron while casting Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann as his Susanoo, controlling the Gold Experience Requiem stand, having become the original vampire after Alucard, able to tap into the speedforce, wearing the Kamen Rider Black RX suit and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu and having eaten Popeye's spinach. I'm talking about sagemode sage of the six paths Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Legendary Super Saiyan 4 Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, Rinnegan, Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, and Geass doujutsus, equipped with his Shining Trapezohedron while casting Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann as his Susanoo, controlling the Gold Experience Requiem stand, having become the original vampire after having absorbed Alucard as well as a God Hand, able to tap into the speedforce, wearing the Kamen Rider Black RX suit, with Kryptonian DNA implanted in him and having eaten Popeye's spinach while possessing quantum powers like Dr. Manhattan and having mastered Hokuto Shinken.
    [x] Action Plan: Kagome's Forbidden Lore
    [x] Pangolin Jutsu
    [x] Ami talk
    [x] Human Resources
    [x] Civilian Welfare
    [x] Peace Talks
    [x] Basement Loot
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