Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Yes.
We need to make sure one of the girls Hazou's having kids with is named Sasuke. Because Jashin knows the memes can't be done halfway.
- Location
- Pacific standard
Uhhhh harem get?
I'm on the side of taking the deal. If nothing else we can use it as a motivator for inter-village diplomacy, we want to be able to find Kurosawa husbands for our girls (I doubt the hivemind will actually be on board for action plan: kitty cat lmao).
Plus, minions! There's no reason that we can't be training the civvies in non ninja stuff. A new generation of diplomats/merchant kings has been tossed into our lap. Muahahaha!
We should probably help Mari out before she summons Jashin though lol
I'm on the side of taking the deal. If nothing else we can use it as a motivator for inter-village diplomacy, we want to be able to find Kurosawa husbands for our girls (I doubt the hivemind will actually be on board for action plan: kitty cat lmao).
Plus, minions! There's no reason that we can't be training the civvies in non ninja stuff. A new generation of diplomats/merchant kings has been tossed into our lap. Muahahaha!
We should probably help Mari out before she summons Jashin though lol
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
[X] Action Plan: Proactive planning
- Uchiha
- We are largely going to take the deal
- Have Mari schedule a meeting with Uchiha.
- Make sure Sasuke is present
- Hagoromo
- We are going to take the deal with a few caveats
- They will vote for our proposals or abstain if necessary for minimum 3 years
- We are going to take the deal with a few caveats
- Tsunade
- Have Akane schedule a meeting with Tsunade
- Clue her in to land clearing scheme
- We are going to clear 1 square km of land a month
- Expected value is 26 million ryo/km
- We are going to split the deal 4 ways
- We need her to clear the political opposition
- Have Akane schedule a meeting with Tsunade
- Nakano and co
- summon them for lunch
- Make sure they bring snacks for Kagome
- Pitch idea that they would work with us as retainers
- Have them meet Kagome and see if they have a rapport with each other
- If so arrange for them to start learning sealing when Kagome is ready
- summon them for lunch
- Message the Mist Oyabun
- Check with Mari to make sure this is viable
- Find a loyal and intelligent civilian out of the refugees
- Conscript them to deliver a message to Mist Yakuza
- The message should let the Oyabun know that we are going to control the clan council and have major influence on the next Hokage
- We would like to negotiate with them on giving our help in their shadow war with Fire Yakuza
- Conscript them to deliver a message to Mist Yakuza
- Enlist one of our associates to carry the civilian to mist
- Options include Team Nakano and Co, Akane and Sakura or, Lee and TenTen
- Find a loyal and intelligent civilian out of the refugees
- Arrange for a meeting with Leaf Oyabun
Last edited:
- Location
- United States
So, this was a super great update, but I happened to notice that the dude who sold the best sealing paper in Konoha died from that unfortunate accident. I also noticed that our land clearing scheme will give us a gigantic excess in lumber...
Depending on the quality of the lumber (and if the paper production can be streamlined or refined through the power of sealing), we should really try to corner this newly opened market. Or at the very least give patronage to the person who steps in to fill the vacuum.
Depending on the quality of the lumber (and if the paper production can be streamlined or refined through the power of sealing), we should really try to corner this newly opened market. Or at the very least give patronage to the person who steps in to fill the vacuum.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
As for kids with Iron Nerve, it's worth noting that the Iron Nerve is definitely spending a good deal of time in the Uchiha as well as the Goketsu. We can't really justify keeping the children with Iron Nerve given that they will be the majority of Hazou's ninja progeny and the point of this deal is to raise Uchiha ninjacount in the next couple of decades. Down the line a generation or so when the Uchiha manpower is back up I can see us asking for the Uchiha to send any further Iron Nerve children to the Goketsu, especially if Mari's plans become reality and the Uchiha are closely tied to us.
Either way though the arranged marriage squick is real and even though it won't come into effect until Hazou's 18 it's clear that Hazou's rather uncomfortable with the idea. One thing I will note is that we're adopting these girls now and while the obligations don't start until later Hazou's still going to be living with them for the foreseeable future.
Hence the second and more immediate problem: these girls will be here knowing the arrangement and, if Mari's words are to be believed, excited about it. It's easy to brush that under the banner of romcom harem shenanigans but if Hazou actually does have a dozen girls vying for his romantic attention that he doesn't want to reciprocate because he's not comfortable with the arrangement in general, this could be pretty taxing on his psyche.
I don't exactly know how we should approach this, apart from the fact that I hope we can come up with a better solution than 'laugh at the comedic shenanigans and ignore the psychological consequences'.
Either way though the arranged marriage squick is real and even though it won't come into effect until Hazou's 18 it's clear that Hazou's rather uncomfortable with the idea. One thing I will note is that we're adopting these girls now and while the obligations don't start until later Hazou's still going to be living with them for the foreseeable future.
Hence the second and more immediate problem: these girls will be here knowing the arrangement and, if Mari's words are to be believed, excited about it. It's easy to brush that under the banner of romcom harem shenanigans but if Hazou actually does have a dozen girls vying for his romantic attention that he doesn't want to reciprocate because he's not comfortable with the arrangement in general, this could be pretty taxing on his psyche.
I don't exactly know how we should approach this, apart from the fact that I hope we can come up with a better solution than 'laugh at the comedic shenanigans and ignore the psychological consequences'.
- Location
- North Wales
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Some character-formatting typos:
- Location
- Yes.
I...kinda don't wanna sell the lumber, at least as lumber. I imagine it would be rather easy to make logs and store them for future use, like building up our clan compound or putting them into land as houses that we buy, renovate, and sell. We also have other projects like salt and ice to sell, and while MEW is useful one would imagine that the lumber we have here could be better.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Hmm. Consider: If this is an instance of ninja eugenics, it's almost guaranteed that these women were chosen for intelligence and talent — meaning we could co-op them as future analysts/researchers/social specialists.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
Goddamnit hazou if you're going to cause sealing failures like this, at least do it to our enemies.
Overall, though, great chapter @eaglejarl
. I especially like this sealing failure's details, and how both Kagome and Hazou react to it.
- Location
- United States
Ah, sorry, my intentions must not have come through properly.
My idea was that, if the lumber is good enough for it, we should begin the production of high quality sealing paper to fill in the vacuum left by the former supplier of such dying. If the lumber is not suitable enough (something that could probably get appraised) or we can't sufficiently streamline the production I'm perfectly fine with using it for something else.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
At the next Chunin Exams
SHIN: Greetings , Lord Gouketsu.
HAZOU: Technically that's Naruto. Just Hazou is fine. Say, hows tricks oh bastard cousin of mine?
SHIN: Typical Hazou. You are aware that that insult splashes off me and right back into your face?
HAZOU: Meh, whatever. Regret not taking that offer yet?
SHIN: Not in the slightest! I am now a junior officer in the diplomat corps. You can tell, because I'm at the Chunin Exams.
HAZOU: Oh, so you did end up getting promoted then? I thought you were here to compete, given your subpar performance in the last one.
SHIN: Psh, point to you. So are you here to waste my time or...?
HAZOU: I was actually here to invite you to dinner at my compound. Mari is making creepy-- I mean creaky chicken.
SHIN: Eh, why not.
HAZOU: Besides, you should meet my betrothed.
SHIN: Didn't... know you had ...much of a love life.
HAZOU: Yeah, they're great. You should put yourself out there.
SHIN: I'll focus on my career thank you-- wait, they!?
HAZOU: I have a harem now.
Record Scratch
VOICES IN SHIN'S HEAD: the FUCK is this shit?!
VOICES IN HAZOU'S HEAD: wwjd means what would Jiraiya do you should try it sometime losers
SHIN: Greetings , Lord Gouketsu.
HAZOU: Technically that's Naruto. Just Hazou is fine. Say, hows tricks oh bastard cousin of mine?
SHIN: Typical Hazou. You are aware that that insult splashes off me and right back into your face?
HAZOU: Meh, whatever. Regret not taking that offer yet?
SHIN: Not in the slightest! I am now a junior officer in the diplomat corps. You can tell, because I'm at the Chunin Exams.
HAZOU: Oh, so you did end up getting promoted then? I thought you were here to compete, given your subpar performance in the last one.
SHIN: Psh, point to you. So are you here to waste my time or...?
HAZOU: I was actually here to invite you to dinner at my compound. Mari is making creepy-- I mean creaky chicken.
SHIN: Eh, why not.
HAZOU: Besides, you should meet my betrothed.
SHIN: Didn't... know you had ...much of a love life.
HAZOU: Yeah, they're great. You should put yourself out there.
SHIN: I'll focus on my career thank you-- wait, they!?
HAZOU: I have a harem now.
Record Scratch
VOICES IN SHIN'S HEAD: the FUCK is this shit?!
VOICES IN HAZOU'S HEAD: wwjd means what would Jiraiya do you should try it sometime losers
Last edited:
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Salt is also required to make lye, which is required to make high quality paper.
- Location
- Italy
These are enough Red flags to equip an army.
We need to talk to Mari,or we won't have a Mari anymore.
She passed from "Hazou, stop" to "I did the thing i criticized you about" in... How much time? Something is going on.
Also, i'm completely opposed to using Hazou progeny as a political sacrifice, even without considering how IC Hazou would hate using family in such a way.
We need to talk to Mari,or we won't have a Mari anymore.
She passed from "Hazou, stop" to "I did the thing i criticized you about" in... How much time? Something is going on.
Also, i'm completely opposed to using Hazou progeny as a political sacrifice, even without considering how IC Hazou would hate using family in such a way.
- Location
- Yes.
Ah, I see. Makes sense, though I'd still question if it would be worth doing. Making good paper probably takes a lot of practice...
Then again, I can't imagine Kagome getting seal-quality paper in the woods easily. Maybe he can start a business.
- Location
- Pacific standard
Why are we sending an unrelated civvie to do this when we have mist merchants arriving soon...? We can just have them carry the message back, along with enough salt to crash mists economy. Note, do we have single use storage seals? If not we'd kinda be committing treason by giving mist civvies seals.
- Location
- Omniverse #1345
Hardwoods in general are construction material and not well suited for paper. Something hard enough to take hours to cut down is likely unusable for quality paper.
- Location
- United States
I imagine most of the work would be done by adopting/giving patronage to civilians with experience in the field, since ninja don't seem to be needed anywhere in the production process, considering it was previously done by a civilian and all.
I will admit I haven't fully thought out how to accomplish everything for this though.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Communication lag. We want to have a Ninja run a civilian to Mist so we can get a response in 4 days
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Its ironwood so its not the best for paper I think. On the bright side... We just got a fuckton of raw materials for Kenta's construction business and the respect/loyalty of pretty much any civvy or clanless that hears about this.
- Location
- Pacific standard
Since I forgot to say it already : @eaglejarl that was a beautiful update. The sealing failure was both creative and appropriately horrifying while still making sense. The fact that Hazuo made efforts to further plans in in-character and inelligent ways was also fantastic.
This is one of those chapters that show incredibly well done characterization. Thank you <3
This is one of those chapters that show incredibly well done characterization. Thank you <3
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
We should at the very least take what precautions we can for Hazou's sanity if we pursue the deal, like getting to interact with adopted children.
Something I don't understand; why aren't the Uchiha having these children themselves? Is the surviving ninja gene pool just too small?
For the land clearing scheme, we don't know how much we can clear until we actually try and we don't know how much we can actually get for it until we have actual buyers. We should probably figure those out. Prices will probably decrease over time as we flood the market at the very least.
Why are you making people bring snacks? That seems weird.
Communicating with anyone in Mist is politically dangerous. Keep that in mind. It might be worth waiting until after things are resolved with the hat. There isn't anything that we need the Mist Yakuza for immediately so it can afford to wait. There's also just lots of other more time sensitive things to do right now.
One of the key steps in paper production is grinding up the wood into very fine pulp. Sounds like a job for macerators, does it not?
Good to know. We could use or sell the hardwoods and use the softwoods for paper production and firewood.
- Location
- Yes.
Actually, I want to look into this. Kagome lived in the woods a ways away from any paper mill for 15 years, yet he seemed to have a fuckton of seal-quality paper on hand for explosives, experiments, and a journal? How the fuck, did he just run to that city in Iron constantly? How did nobody catch him?
- Location
- United States
Yep, the ironwood in our compound is of course super unsuitable for that kind of thing. I was assuming/hoping that not all the wood surrounding Leaf would be ironwood, and that we might come by some soft wood during our land clearing plan.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
We can take five minutes and ask those carpenters/woodcutters that should be pretty stoked about our general existence and disposition towards theirs? I figure those guys would probably be able to point us in the right direction.
Last edited: