- Location
- Europe
Does she really need more voices in her head?
Hazou sure does on the other hand!
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Does she really need more voices in her head?
Hazou sure does on the other hand!
On the other Hand, S-rankers are good diplomatic tools.
That does not give us loyalty and trust.
No, but it does give us another big stick to wave around.
(And also protects Ren's career by stopping the return of the old boss. And strengthens agreements made with J because J's bloc becoming more powerful means it's harder for enemies to get rid of him.)
Something something let them hate me so long as they fear me.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Being only semiserious here, but throwing Keiko more trauma is probably not a good idea.
Also can you imagine? Isobu shitposting in thread, every plan they vote for is some variation of "We should let Isobu out of the seal." or "Kill ourselves immediately" etc. the meta hilarity is just too great.
Nope! But it does rapidly catapult us closer to godhood (if not instantly grant us demi-godhood in the process). This would hypothetically be more effective in achieving our long term goals than almost anything else we could do in the short term.
Having two Jinchuuriki attached to clan Goketsu basically cements Jiraiya as the Hokage, and gives us nigh unlimited political capital to spend as well, in addition to boosting our personal power by a massive amount.
This is actually probably the quickest path to our long term goals (and thus, world peace) short of another couple Sealing ex machinas on the level of skywalkers.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
I think we can use this update to better understand Akatsuki's goals, just a little. We have decent reason to believe Orochimaru is altruistic, even transhumanist maybe, and is missing nin simply because Leaf couldn't accept his methods. What does it say that Orochimaru is willing to hire Zabuza to hunt Akatsuki?
We could potentially infer that Orochimaru and Akatsuki were opposed from the board game, but that could have easily been a ploy of some sort. We could also use canon information to guess, but that's unreliable. This, I believe, is the first solid piece of evidence in favour of Orochimaru and Akatsuki honestly being opposed to each other.
People have speculated every so often that Akatsuki might wind up being the good guys all along, that they're just aiming to apply bigger stick diplomacy to everyone and create peace or something. What we can say now, with a low to moderate degree of confidence, is that Orochimaru does not like what they're trying to do. Being Orochimaru, this likely has nothing to do with the means they're using, and more to do with the ends. While it isn't a solid deal, I believe Orochimaru knows Akatsuki's endgame and does not like it, and that we will not like it either.
We could potentially infer that Orochimaru and Akatsuki were opposed from the board game, but that could have easily been a ploy of some sort. We could also use canon information to guess, but that's unreliable. This, I believe, is the first solid piece of evidence in favour of Orochimaru and Akatsuki honestly being opposed to each other.
People have speculated every so often that Akatsuki might wind up being the good guys all along, that they're just aiming to apply bigger stick diplomacy to everyone and create peace or something. What we can say now, with a low to moderate degree of confidence, is that Orochimaru does not like what they're trying to do. Being Orochimaru, this likely has nothing to do with the means they're using, and more to do with the ends. While it isn't a solid deal, I believe Orochimaru knows Akatsuki's endgame and does not like it, and that we will not like it either.
zap lunch
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- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Imagine how tilted he'll be when he finds that Leaf and Mist went from bitter enemies to close allies, with the missing-nin he's been hunting all this time at the heart of the alliance.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Well, that or they have something that Oro desperately needs to achieve his own endgame and are naturally at cross purposes as a result.
Regardless I think this is more evidence for "Oro is trying to stop Akatsuki."
If you go back to the Liberator nonsense in Iron, Jiraiyas conclusion is: "This would destablize the region and is almost guaranteed to pop off another world war! Why would Oro do this? This is *not* his modus operandi!"
While it may currently be a bit of a stretch, I posit that the above was with the intention of starting a World war to heighten every nations security levels by a mile, put the Jinchuuriki on lockdown/village guard duty, and in general slow Akatsuki down by a decent bit.
(This is clearly a wild ass guess on my part. I think it fits with what my mental model of utilitarian sociopath Oro with "Stop Akatsuki." on his to do list would do.)
- Location
- Europe
It's been more than two months, unless he has been continuously in the wildness he should have heard about Goketsu.
According to Shikaku we removed Mist from Iron, so either Oro and Mist worked on a project there together or Mist was using the whole snake thing as a false lead.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Perhaps J got additional evidence afterwards to this effect and Oro just happened to have people present in the region as well. That could certainly be the case.
He probably just happen to have people present everywhere.
Heleor
^_^
Does that mean the three-tails will start posting here?
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
??????
What reasons are these?
It says he wants something from us? Or, more specifically, from Jiraiya/Leaf?
I do admit that this is evidence that Oro and Akatsuki are opposed to each other, or that they will be once Akatsuki finds out about this.
Hazō: Can I invite Snake Uncle to the wedding? He helped find my godbrother! It's the least we can do.
Jiraiya: No. And he's not your uncle.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ahhhhhhh. Yeeessss. That's what I was missing.
Will GET interesting?
I must try harder! I will induce ten thousand player screams! If I cannot induce ten thousand player screams then I will generate sixty tons of salt! If I cannot generate sixty tons of salt then I will blow up the EN, thereby ending the quest! If I cannot....
Who wouldn't?!
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
I don't want to go digging for it, but Jiraiya did at one point talk about why Orochimaru went missing-nin (and I think Kabuto might've as well). What I remember of it is that Orochimaru wanted to do human experimentation but the Hokage denied him, and Orochimaru went behind the Hokage to do human experimentation because he truly believed it would save more lives, and that made him a missing-nin.
This suggests to me that Orochimaru ultimately has good intentions, in the end, and that we would at least broadly agree with what he wants to achieve, even if we too disagree with his methods.
- Location
- Europe
Canon Konan didn't even try to use them. Instead she went the Kagome route to kill Tobi....and it would have worked if it wasn't for cheating bullshit eyes!
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
*Scene cuts from altar of shrine to Orochimaru and Zabuza standing in formal robes*
ZABUZA: I cant believe that blonde brat talked us into this.
OROCHIMARU: I don't know what you're talking about, I'm family!
*Kabuto walks by*
KABUTO: Why, its a surprise to see you here Orochimaru. Finally done with your long term infiltration mission, I see?
OROCHIMARU: Yes, dreadful one as those usually go! Cover stories and all. Cant stomach them any longer, so glad to be back in Leaf.
KABUTO: Well, I wouldnt have the faintest idea what that must be like, having to live a lie for years on end. Must be terrible, but glad to see you back!
*Orochimaru and Kabuto share a laugh*
ZABUZA: I need sake immediately
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Ah. I was under the impression that only Kabuto told us that, and that he was probably not a very reliable narrator on that topic at all.
If someone shows me that Jiraiya also said/thinks that Orochimaru has decent intentions/is not a sociopath, then I will start revising my opinion of Snek Uncle.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Thats not true, exactly.
Jiraiyas exact words on Orochimarus crime/departure were:
"He decided it was easier to stop caring about people."
And he left it very expressly at that.
I didn't know how much I wanted this.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
That was my impression as well.
I don't think we talked to Jiraiya about the other sannin at all.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
Player Interest Generator!
I got it specially from Sehai-kun for you.