Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Raxner
The most dangerous man in an empty room
- Location
- Israel
I hope that you feel better soon.
Interlude (AU): Inoue Mari and the Quest for Redemption
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Kagome's eyes were bloodshot. His new beard was ragged and unkempt. He had the pale face of a man to whom "sun" was an empty syllable, and he was stooped as if the weight of a stone tomb was pressing down on his shoulders. He was looking better than he had in weeks.
Mari felt the way Kagome looked. She was a failure as a mother and as an instructor. She'd let her children go unprepared to the Chūnin Exams, and she'd been stupidly overconfident about their performance. The reports had described them as weak, inexplicably weaker than she remembered them, and then they had described them as dead.
Relations had quickly fallen apart, between her and Jiraiya, between Jiraiya and Kagome, and especially between Leaf and Mist. As far as Jiraiya was concerned, Mist had murdered his children. As far as Mist's sharks were concerned, the Hokage's clan had turned out to be hubristic weaklings, and Leaf had shamed itself before the eyes of the entire shinobi world. The declaration of war would come any day now, and she didn't know how many countries Mist's superior exam performance would swing to its side.
Today was Mari's first day sober. The oblivion of lupchanzen piss still beckoned, but after Kagome had lost his meagre trust in Jiraiya and the rest of Leaf, there was nobody else he could ask for help. He had a desperate case of Saviour Syndrome, she knew, and maybe enabling him would only make things worse. But sealing was all Kagome had now. Trying to take that coping mechanism away could only end in disaster.
"Is the second auxiliary seal in place?" Kagome asked hoarsely.
"The one in the far right corner? Yes, it looks fine."
"Have you done the Lucky Dance Mark Five?"
Mari couldn't help rolling her eyes. "Yes, but only because Jiraiya wasn't watching."
"Stuff Jiraiya. He thinks I can't pull off the Kamitonaru Seal just because every sealmaster in history who tried it got splattered across up to eleven dimensions. He doesn't understand. I can do it. I have to do it. I'll bring them back, you'll see."
Mari processed that statement. "Every sealmaster in history? Wait, Kagome, don't—"
Kagome's hand touched the seal blank.
Reality shattered.
Around Mari, tiny shards of the world she knew seemed to reflect each other, endless tunnels of facing mirrors, refracted light bouncing between them and through them in a visible zigzag pattern. One of those tunnels led home, she was sure, but she'd also been split into infinite fragments, beams of light striking her like great waves overwhelming an unready swimmer, and she had no idea how to reassemble herself, much less move through the space she was in.
One fragment of Mari, small enough that it was accelerated by the impact of light, spun past like a malformed shuriken, and was instantly swallowed up by the infinity stretching between two others.
"So what do you reckon, Inoue? Ready to start your own village?"
Mari felt the way Kagome looked. She was a failure as a mother and as an instructor. She'd let her children go unprepared to the Chūnin Exams, and she'd been stupidly overconfident about their performance. The reports had described them as weak, inexplicably weaker than she remembered them, and then they had described them as dead.
Relations had quickly fallen apart, between her and Jiraiya, between Jiraiya and Kagome, and especially between Leaf and Mist. As far as Jiraiya was concerned, Mist had murdered his children. As far as Mist's sharks were concerned, the Hokage's clan had turned out to be hubristic weaklings, and Leaf had shamed itself before the eyes of the entire shinobi world. The declaration of war would come any day now, and she didn't know how many countries Mist's superior exam performance would swing to its side.
Today was Mari's first day sober. The oblivion of lupchanzen piss still beckoned, but after Kagome had lost his meagre trust in Jiraiya and the rest of Leaf, there was nobody else he could ask for help. He had a desperate case of Saviour Syndrome, she knew, and maybe enabling him would only make things worse. But sealing was all Kagome had now. Trying to take that coping mechanism away could only end in disaster.
"Is the second auxiliary seal in place?" Kagome asked hoarsely.
"The one in the far right corner? Yes, it looks fine."
"Have you done the Lucky Dance Mark Five?"
Mari couldn't help rolling her eyes. "Yes, but only because Jiraiya wasn't watching."
"Stuff Jiraiya. He thinks I can't pull off the Kamitonaru Seal just because every sealmaster in history who tried it got splattered across up to eleven dimensions. He doesn't understand. I can do it. I have to do it. I'll bring them back, you'll see."
Mari processed that statement. "Every sealmaster in history? Wait, Kagome, don't—"
Kagome's hand touched the seal blank.
Reality shattered.
Around Mari, tiny shards of the world she knew seemed to reflect each other, endless tunnels of facing mirrors, refracted light bouncing between them and through them in a visible zigzag pattern. One of those tunnels led home, she was sure, but she'd also been split into infinite fragments, beams of light striking her like great waves overwhelming an unready swimmer, and she had no idea how to reassemble herself, much less move through the space she was in.
One fragment of Mari, small enough that it was accelerated by the impact of light, spun past like a malformed shuriken, and was instantly swallowed up by the infinity stretching between two others.
"So what do you reckon, Inoue? Ready to start your own village?"
-o-
Mari existed again. All of her was in one place. All of her was in one time. She was aware of her body as a single distinct object, and perceived her environment through ordinary human senses. She had not been devoured by the sealing failure.
What it had done to her was still up for debate.
"Inoue?" Shikigami repeated. "Pull yourself together, Inoue. You've only had half a bottle."
Mari's reflexes, honed over years of waking up in unfamiliar places with no idea what was going on, let her respond instantly.
"Sorry, Shikigami. My mind was elsewhere. You're right, though, you should pour me another one." Ten other ones, ideally, before she could begin to deal with what was happening.
Shikigami. Gorō Dan. A private room at Kurohige's. Poor lighting, too much cheap saké, and an outrageous idea that had changed her life forever.
There was no mistaking the place. There was no mistaking the person. And that meant… there was no mistaking the time.
Mari's mind flashed back to the campfire stories. A sealing failure could send itself backwards through time. What if, crazy as it sounded, it could send a person backwards through time as well? What if Mari really was back at Kurohige's?
Suppose she was. Either way, if she was seeing this, she was either a time traveller, dreaming, insane or in some kind of twisted supernatural hell that would soon reveal its true nature. In any and all of those scenarios, it made the most sense to play along.
No. Not just play along. If she was back in the past, she could change things. This time, she could keep them safe. She was better now, she dared to think. Stronger. Wiser. Maybe even worthier. She would find them and atone for her failure and give them the future they deserved. And she knew how to take the first step.
"Where did you say we'd be going?" she asked, in case the conversation hadn't reached that point yet.
"The Swamp of Death," Shikigami said impatiently. "The single deadliest place in the world—unless you're with me. Now, I don't want to push you, Inoue, but I do need a response before you leave this table."
Of course, there was only one response that would let her leave this table, at least alive. But Shikigami had known what to expect when he first approached her. He knew her secret fear, and he knew she wouldn't be able to resist the chance to put a sea, half a continent, and a small army between her and the Mizukage.
"I'm in," she said. "But I'm not on board with your choice of holiday destination."
She couldn't tell him she knew the future. Shikigami was a man with both feet planted deep in the ground, and the last thing she needed was for him to think she was mocking him on the night that he finally revealed his grand plan. But the Swamp of Death was simply too dangerous when she didn't know whether events would follow the same path this time round.
"Last time I talked to an agent coming back from Leaf," she said with a serious expression, "he told me the Hyūga had stepped up their patrols thanks to the mess over the border in Noodle. We wouldn't make it halfway to the swamp before they found us."
Shikigami clenched his jaw. "How sure are you?"
"He wasn't lying," Mari said. "You know I can tell. I guess it's possible he had faulty intel, but I'd rather not bet my life on it."
Shikigami downed the rest of his saké in one violent motion, then slammed the cup down on the table. "Byakuren's floating balls," he spat.
"Why don't we head east instead?" Mari asked smoothly. "I hear Marsh is very nice this time of year."
What it had done to her was still up for debate.
"Inoue?" Shikigami repeated. "Pull yourself together, Inoue. You've only had half a bottle."
Mari's reflexes, honed over years of waking up in unfamiliar places with no idea what was going on, let her respond instantly.
"Sorry, Shikigami. My mind was elsewhere. You're right, though, you should pour me another one." Ten other ones, ideally, before she could begin to deal with what was happening.
Shikigami. Gorō Dan. A private room at Kurohige's. Poor lighting, too much cheap saké, and an outrageous idea that had changed her life forever.
There was no mistaking the place. There was no mistaking the person. And that meant… there was no mistaking the time.
Mari's mind flashed back to the campfire stories. A sealing failure could send itself backwards through time. What if, crazy as it sounded, it could send a person backwards through time as well? What if Mari really was back at Kurohige's?
Suppose she was. Either way, if she was seeing this, she was either a time traveller, dreaming, insane or in some kind of twisted supernatural hell that would soon reveal its true nature. In any and all of those scenarios, it made the most sense to play along.
No. Not just play along. If she was back in the past, she could change things. This time, she could keep them safe. She was better now, she dared to think. Stronger. Wiser. Maybe even worthier. She would find them and atone for her failure and give them the future they deserved. And she knew how to take the first step.
"Where did you say we'd be going?" she asked, in case the conversation hadn't reached that point yet.
"The Swamp of Death," Shikigami said impatiently. "The single deadliest place in the world—unless you're with me. Now, I don't want to push you, Inoue, but I do need a response before you leave this table."
Of course, there was only one response that would let her leave this table, at least alive. But Shikigami had known what to expect when he first approached her. He knew her secret fear, and he knew she wouldn't be able to resist the chance to put a sea, half a continent, and a small army between her and the Mizukage.
"I'm in," she said. "But I'm not on board with your choice of holiday destination."
She couldn't tell him she knew the future. Shikigami was a man with both feet planted deep in the ground, and the last thing she needed was for him to think she was mocking him on the night that he finally revealed his grand plan. But the Swamp of Death was simply too dangerous when she didn't know whether events would follow the same path this time round.
"Last time I talked to an agent coming back from Leaf," she said with a serious expression, "he told me the Hyūga had stepped up their patrols thanks to the mess over the border in Noodle. We wouldn't make it halfway to the swamp before they found us."
Shikigami clenched his jaw. "How sure are you?"
"He wasn't lying," Mari said. "You know I can tell. I guess it's possible he had faulty intel, but I'd rather not bet my life on it."
Shikigami downed the rest of his saké in one violent motion, then slammed the cup down on the table. "Byakuren's floating balls," he spat.
"Why don't we head east instead?" Mari asked smoothly. "I hear Marsh is very nice this time of year."
-o-
She hadn't been ready.
She'd let herself grow complacent during her time in Leaf, and now she was reaping the consequences. A woman who had thrown down the gauntlet to destiny itself had no right to relax. She had no right to lower her guard just because she thought she'd overcome one single obstacle. She of all people should have known that saving a life was nowhere near as hard as making sure it stayed saved.
Somewhere in the distance, fire and lightning flared briefly through the darkness as the hunter-nin battled the people she no longer thought of as comrades. She didn't know who'd win this time, with Mist having no Leaf support and Hidden Swamp having suffered much less attrition, but once again she wasn't sticking around to find out. She had to keep the survivors safe.
All two of them.
It was her fault. She should have realised that she'd broken something with her meddling. She didn't know why it had affected Hazō, and seemingly only Hazō, but seeing the differences in his behaviour should have given her a clue. He was still bright. Still creative. Still caring. But something, some kind of spark that she had always taken for granted, simply wasn't there. He didn't come up with spur-of-the-moment plans. He didn't swerve wildly between empathic insight and tracking mud all over people's feelings. He didn't even care about lists. She shouldn't have been surprised when Shikigami didn't make him a squad leader this time round, and she should have realised the implications.
It had been easy enough to find Keiko when the screaming and the explosions started. Mari never lost track of Keiko, and she was certainly making sure of it now, when her daughter's emotional stability was once again on a knife edge. But this time, the three kids weren't squadmates, and they weren't sleeping together.
The new Hidden Swamp, located in a sparsely inhabited country with no ninja village, had a far more sprawling layout than the single cave complex they'd had in the Swamp of Death. She and Keiko should have split up to find them, she'd known that even at the time, but it would have meant letting Keiko out of her sight in a warzone. Mari couldn't do it again. Instead, they'd found Hazō in the nick of time, and saved him from the attackers… but they'd been too late for Noburi.
Mari had failed her quest before it even began.
She'd let herself grow complacent during her time in Leaf, and now she was reaping the consequences. A woman who had thrown down the gauntlet to destiny itself had no right to relax. She had no right to lower her guard just because she thought she'd overcome one single obstacle. She of all people should have known that saving a life was nowhere near as hard as making sure it stayed saved.
Somewhere in the distance, fire and lightning flared briefly through the darkness as the hunter-nin battled the people she no longer thought of as comrades. She didn't know who'd win this time, with Mist having no Leaf support and Hidden Swamp having suffered much less attrition, but once again she wasn't sticking around to find out. She had to keep the survivors safe.
All two of them.
It was her fault. She should have realised that she'd broken something with her meddling. She didn't know why it had affected Hazō, and seemingly only Hazō, but seeing the differences in his behaviour should have given her a clue. He was still bright. Still creative. Still caring. But something, some kind of spark that she had always taken for granted, simply wasn't there. He didn't come up with spur-of-the-moment plans. He didn't swerve wildly between empathic insight and tracking mud all over people's feelings. He didn't even care about lists. She shouldn't have been surprised when Shikigami didn't make him a squad leader this time round, and she should have realised the implications.
It had been easy enough to find Keiko when the screaming and the explosions started. Mari never lost track of Keiko, and she was certainly making sure of it now, when her daughter's emotional stability was once again on a knife edge. But this time, the three kids weren't squadmates, and they weren't sleeping together.
The new Hidden Swamp, located in a sparsely inhabited country with no ninja village, had a far more sprawling layout than the single cave complex they'd had in the Swamp of Death. She and Keiko should have split up to find them, she'd known that even at the time, but it would have meant letting Keiko out of her sight in a warzone. Mari couldn't do it again. Instead, they'd found Hazō in the nick of time, and saved him from the attackers… but they'd been too late for Noburi.
Mari had failed her quest before it even began.
-o-
Later that night, after they'd done all the running they could, and exhaustion had mercifully sent the kids to sleep before they could fully take in the scope of what happened, Mari stayed up to plan.
Her endgame hadn't changed. She would reunite her family, and she would bring them back to Leaf. Even if something had happened to Hazō's muse, she still knew the principle behind the skywalkers, and Kagome should still be able to produce them. This time, she'd be able to save the Hokage, and preserve Leaf's position of strength… and she would damn well make sure her kids weren't going anywhere before they were jōnin.
Unfortunately, with no Swamp of Death, Jiraiya wouldn't be tracking them, and they had no hope of hunting down a disguised legendary spymaster on their own initiative. That meant they wouldn't be able to earn his trust over time as deniable assets, or learn ninjutsu from him as a reward. They would need to work a lot harder to convince him to create the Gōketsu Clan… though on the plus side, at least this time they wouldn't be the Cold Stone Killers.
Her endgame hadn't changed. She would reunite her family, and she would bring them back to Leaf. Even if something had happened to Hazō's muse, she still knew the principle behind the skywalkers, and Kagome should still be able to produce them. This time, she'd be able to save the Hokage, and preserve Leaf's position of strength… and she would damn well make sure her kids weren't going anywhere before they were jōnin.
Unfortunately, with no Swamp of Death, Jiraiya wouldn't be tracking them, and they had no hope of hunting down a disguised legendary spymaster on their own initiative. That meant they wouldn't be able to earn his trust over time as deniable assets, or learn ninjutsu from him as a reward. They would need to work a lot harder to convince him to create the Gōketsu Clan… though on the plus side, at least this time they wouldn't be the Cold Stone Killers.
-o-
It was all wrong.
It wasn't just that the kids weren't quite her kids, with experiences that they no longer shared and bonds that had no longer been made, and her occasionally reaching out to touch a familiar part of them only to find a gaping abyss. It was the entire dynamic. She hadn't realised until now how important Noburi's light-hearted, easy-going nature had been to her team of quiet introverts. Without him, there was too much silence, and not enough conflict.
Hazō still had something missing. He'd taken easily to sealing, but he was no longer driving Kagome insane with terrifying seal ideas, or giving dramatic inspirational speeches at the drop of a hat. He was no longer Akane's master. Akane herself was working hard to fill in the gap she didn't even know existed, and providing what emotional support she could to those prepared to accept it, but she was relying more and more on Youth to keep it up, and that was a disaster waiting to happen.
The other thing Mari hadn't realised was how much Hazō's attempts to micro-manage his teammates' lives had taken the burden off her. Despite his questionable rate of success, the mere fact of his trying often gave them the push they needed to get on with solving their own problems, or kept them busy long enough for Mari to find the time and energy to take over. She didn't have that now.
Keiko, ironically, was actually doing better. The brief night of terror in Marsh had been less damaging to her than the days of wearying despair in the Swamp of Death, and Mari's ability to look after her psychologically had been vastly improved by experience. At times, when Mari was too tired or too busy, she'd resort to giving Keiko an exhaustive set of instructions and leaving her in charge, and it only rarely ended in chaos.
She just wished she knew what to do with Kagome. The bond between him and Hazō was surprisingly weaker without the latter's constant intellectual prodding, and that left Kagome at an emotional loose end which she had to manage, maintaining his loyalty to the team until it could solidify into the bond she remembered.
Still, she had hope. In Leaf, there had to be resources for fixing whatever was wrong with Hazō. The Yamanaka, maybe, or the Third Hokage himself with his legendary stores of knowledge. She'd already failed to protect one of her children. She had to do whatever it took for the rest.
It wasn't just that the kids weren't quite her kids, with experiences that they no longer shared and bonds that had no longer been made, and her occasionally reaching out to touch a familiar part of them only to find a gaping abyss. It was the entire dynamic. She hadn't realised until now how important Noburi's light-hearted, easy-going nature had been to her team of quiet introverts. Without him, there was too much silence, and not enough conflict.
Hazō still had something missing. He'd taken easily to sealing, but he was no longer driving Kagome insane with terrifying seal ideas, or giving dramatic inspirational speeches at the drop of a hat. He was no longer Akane's master. Akane herself was working hard to fill in the gap she didn't even know existed, and providing what emotional support she could to those prepared to accept it, but she was relying more and more on Youth to keep it up, and that was a disaster waiting to happen.
The other thing Mari hadn't realised was how much Hazō's attempts to micro-manage his teammates' lives had taken the burden off her. Despite his questionable rate of success, the mere fact of his trying often gave them the push they needed to get on with solving their own problems, or kept them busy long enough for Mari to find the time and energy to take over. She didn't have that now.
Keiko, ironically, was actually doing better. The brief night of terror in Marsh had been less damaging to her than the days of wearying despair in the Swamp of Death, and Mari's ability to look after her psychologically had been vastly improved by experience. At times, when Mari was too tired or too busy, she'd resort to giving Keiko an exhaustive set of instructions and leaving her in charge, and it only rarely ended in chaos.
She just wished she knew what to do with Kagome. The bond between him and Hazō was surprisingly weaker without the latter's constant intellectual prodding, and that left Kagome at an emotional loose end which she had to manage, maintaining his loyalty to the team until it could solidify into the bond she remembered.
Still, she had hope. In Leaf, there had to be resources for fixing whatever was wrong with Hazō. The Yamanaka, maybe, or the Third Hokage himself with his legendary stores of knowledge. She'd already failed to protect one of her children. She had to do whatever it took for the rest.
-o-
"Explain to me how you know that code," the Hokage said. There was no particular menace to his voice, as the weight of his gaze alone was enough to pin Mari to the spot and make sure she stayed there. To his side, Jiraiya watched silently, and Mari couldn't be sure whether he was undressing her with his eyes or figuring out how to minimise the damage to his mentor's office when he had to kill her.
"I'd be happy to share that information with you," Mari lied, "but first I would like to explain who we are and why we chose to walk up to one of your patrols and surrender unconditionally." She couldn't ask for permission to change the subject, because he might refuse, and the gentle reminder they were here by choice and completely in his power might make him relax a little and not sweat the small stuff.
"I am Inoue Mari, formerly a jōnin of Hidden Mist. These are Mori Keiko and Kurosawa Hazō, formerly genin of Hidden Mist, and that is Kagome." Akane had been escorted away separately, which was a little worrying, but she was confident the girl wouldn't be touched until the Hokage's business here was finished.
Kagome glared balefully as the two Leaf ninja's eyes turned to him.
"We fled Mist," Mari hurried on, "over irreconcilable ideological differences with the Mizukage, and now we have come to Leaf to offer you a mutually beneficial trade."
"You expect us to treat a missing-nin as a trading partner?" the Hokage asked with overt curiosity which did not try to fully mask the gaping spike pit underneath.
Mari carefully ignored that question and moved on to the bait. "We are willing to offer you the services of an elite Mist jōnin specialist in infiltration, seduction," she allowed her eyes to flick to Jiraiya briefly enough that he couldn't be sure it had happened at all, "and genjutsu, a veteran sealmaster specialising in security and demolitions," it was important to specify so as to avoid touching Jiraiya's childish pride as a general expert, "a sealmaster with the unique Iron Nerve Bloodline Limit, and a bearer of the Frozen Skein Bloodline Limit who has been accepted as Summoner by the Pangolin Clan."
Two pairs of eyes went wide at that last statement. Mari smirked inwardly. This time, instead of diplomatic flailing in Hidden Mountain, they had simply made use of the Kagome Lockpick and then fished the indestructible summoning scroll out of the crater. Granted, Keiko had missed out on Takahashi's training, but Jiraiya would probably make a better teacher anyway, given that Takahashi had never summoned anything in his life.
"The Pangolin Summoning Scroll has been lost for centuries," Jiraiya observed sceptically. "Show me."
At Mari's nod, Keiko pulled out the scroll and handed it to Jiraiya, making sure to unfurl it enough for him to see her signature. In this new timeline where Jiraiya had no particular feelings about any of them, Mari didn't want him to get any ideas about taking it away.
"Huh," Jiraiya said. "This may well be the real thing." He refocused on Mari with new intensity. "Where did you find it?"
"In the hands of an isolated hidden village full of skilled ninja not currently aligned with any political power," Mari smiled, "the location of which we would also be happy to provide as part of this deal." Wherever "her" Takahashi was, it wasn't here, and Mari didn't feel she owed anything to his temporal twin. More importantly neither did Keiko.
"Is that everything?" the Hokage asked, whether to downplay the significance of what they'd just offered him, or because he could tell it wasn't.
"By no means," Mari said. "We are also willing to offer you the designs for a seal capable of allowing any shinobi to freely walk on thin air." It had not been cheap or easy to find Kagome Air Dome seals with the resources of a handful of missing-nin unwilling to take stupid risks, but the results spoke for themselves.
The Hokage and Jiraiya exchanged brief glances, probably to the effect of Is that possible? and I don't know but I want to see it.
"And finally," Mari mentally took a very deep breath, "I am willing to offer Jiraiya my hand in marriage."
Jiraiya's eyes bulged. The Hokage moved to brush a strand of hair from his face in a way that momentarily blocked her view of his expression. Mari was pretty sure she'd successfully thrown a spanner into whatever gears had been turning in their heads.
"Marriage?" Jiraiya repeated incredulously. "As in the ceremonial and legal union of a man and a woman?"
"One of those," Mari confirmed, then turned to the Hokage. "The greatest of the Three, Leaf's second most powerful and valuable ninja, your preferred candidate for Fourth Hokage, has no clan and no family. That automatically puts him at a serious disadvantage when it comes to competition with the noble clans, and it means that if he should perish, all of his skills and experience will be lost with him. At the same time, he can't simply marry into an existing clan without surrendering his independence and some of his authority. He can, however, begin a new clan of his own, which will be born with a powerful jōnin, two sealmasters, two Bloodline Limits unavailable in Leaf, and one summoner of a summon clan already on good terms with Jiraiya's own."
Jiraiya burst out laughing. If she knew her temporarily ex-husband, her proposal had shocked him out of his wary mood, and then her audacity, a trait he was generally fond of, had pushed him towards amusement as his new state. Just as planned.
The Hokage was not so easy to affect. "What are you requesting in return?" he asked plainly.
Mari let the silence stretch for a few seconds.
"Nothing."
"Nothing," Jiraiya repeated with a wry grin.
"Of course," Mari said, "it's a package deal. If we become part of Leaf, that's all the incentive we need to offer you our skills and knowledge. And we would also require a pardon for Ishihara Akane."
The Hokage was silent for a while.
"Why have you chosen to make this offer to Leaf?"
"Multiple reasons," Mari said, mindful of the need to sound neither too mercenary nor too much like Hazō—the old Hazō—during his more impassioned moments.
"Leaf is the strongest village, and thus most likely to guarantee our safety. It is also the greatest enemy of our enemy, which is to say Hidden Mist. Jiraiya has a unique benefit he can obtain from us, giving you extra incentive to accept our offer. And finally, we believe in the Leaf ideal. Both during our time in Mist and during our travels, we've witnessed a lot of suffering caused by shinobi warfare, but also by ruthless exploitation of the civilian population. Leaf is known for its unique vision of a global peace in which shinobi and civilians willingly combine their efforts for the greater good. We want our skills to serve that vision rather than being used to perpetuate a status quo that hurts everybody in the long run."
The Hokage nodded thoughtfully, revealing nothing. "Jiraiya, kindly have them taken to secure guest quarters to await our judgement."
"I'd be happy to share that information with you," Mari lied, "but first I would like to explain who we are and why we chose to walk up to one of your patrols and surrender unconditionally." She couldn't ask for permission to change the subject, because he might refuse, and the gentle reminder they were here by choice and completely in his power might make him relax a little and not sweat the small stuff.
"I am Inoue Mari, formerly a jōnin of Hidden Mist. These are Mori Keiko and Kurosawa Hazō, formerly genin of Hidden Mist, and that is Kagome." Akane had been escorted away separately, which was a little worrying, but she was confident the girl wouldn't be touched until the Hokage's business here was finished.
Kagome glared balefully as the two Leaf ninja's eyes turned to him.
"We fled Mist," Mari hurried on, "over irreconcilable ideological differences with the Mizukage, and now we have come to Leaf to offer you a mutually beneficial trade."
"You expect us to treat a missing-nin as a trading partner?" the Hokage asked with overt curiosity which did not try to fully mask the gaping spike pit underneath.
Mari carefully ignored that question and moved on to the bait. "We are willing to offer you the services of an elite Mist jōnin specialist in infiltration, seduction," she allowed her eyes to flick to Jiraiya briefly enough that he couldn't be sure it had happened at all, "and genjutsu, a veteran sealmaster specialising in security and demolitions," it was important to specify so as to avoid touching Jiraiya's childish pride as a general expert, "a sealmaster with the unique Iron Nerve Bloodline Limit, and a bearer of the Frozen Skein Bloodline Limit who has been accepted as Summoner by the Pangolin Clan."
Two pairs of eyes went wide at that last statement. Mari smirked inwardly. This time, instead of diplomatic flailing in Hidden Mountain, they had simply made use of the Kagome Lockpick and then fished the indestructible summoning scroll out of the crater. Granted, Keiko had missed out on Takahashi's training, but Jiraiya would probably make a better teacher anyway, given that Takahashi had never summoned anything in his life.
"The Pangolin Summoning Scroll has been lost for centuries," Jiraiya observed sceptically. "Show me."
At Mari's nod, Keiko pulled out the scroll and handed it to Jiraiya, making sure to unfurl it enough for him to see her signature. In this new timeline where Jiraiya had no particular feelings about any of them, Mari didn't want him to get any ideas about taking it away.
"Huh," Jiraiya said. "This may well be the real thing." He refocused on Mari with new intensity. "Where did you find it?"
"In the hands of an isolated hidden village full of skilled ninja not currently aligned with any political power," Mari smiled, "the location of which we would also be happy to provide as part of this deal." Wherever "her" Takahashi was, it wasn't here, and Mari didn't feel she owed anything to his temporal twin. More importantly neither did Keiko.
"Is that everything?" the Hokage asked, whether to downplay the significance of what they'd just offered him, or because he could tell it wasn't.
"By no means," Mari said. "We are also willing to offer you the designs for a seal capable of allowing any shinobi to freely walk on thin air." It had not been cheap or easy to find Kagome Air Dome seals with the resources of a handful of missing-nin unwilling to take stupid risks, but the results spoke for themselves.
The Hokage and Jiraiya exchanged brief glances, probably to the effect of Is that possible? and I don't know but I want to see it.
"And finally," Mari mentally took a very deep breath, "I am willing to offer Jiraiya my hand in marriage."
Jiraiya's eyes bulged. The Hokage moved to brush a strand of hair from his face in a way that momentarily blocked her view of his expression. Mari was pretty sure she'd successfully thrown a spanner into whatever gears had been turning in their heads.
"Marriage?" Jiraiya repeated incredulously. "As in the ceremonial and legal union of a man and a woman?"
"One of those," Mari confirmed, then turned to the Hokage. "The greatest of the Three, Leaf's second most powerful and valuable ninja, your preferred candidate for Fourth Hokage, has no clan and no family. That automatically puts him at a serious disadvantage when it comes to competition with the noble clans, and it means that if he should perish, all of his skills and experience will be lost with him. At the same time, he can't simply marry into an existing clan without surrendering his independence and some of his authority. He can, however, begin a new clan of his own, which will be born with a powerful jōnin, two sealmasters, two Bloodline Limits unavailable in Leaf, and one summoner of a summon clan already on good terms with Jiraiya's own."
Jiraiya burst out laughing. If she knew her temporarily ex-husband, her proposal had shocked him out of his wary mood, and then her audacity, a trait he was generally fond of, had pushed him towards amusement as his new state. Just as planned.
The Hokage was not so easy to affect. "What are you requesting in return?" he asked plainly.
Mari let the silence stretch for a few seconds.
"Nothing."
"Nothing," Jiraiya repeated with a wry grin.
"Of course," Mari said, "it's a package deal. If we become part of Leaf, that's all the incentive we need to offer you our skills and knowledge. And we would also require a pardon for Ishihara Akane."
The Hokage was silent for a while.
"Why have you chosen to make this offer to Leaf?"
"Multiple reasons," Mari said, mindful of the need to sound neither too mercenary nor too much like Hazō—the old Hazō—during his more impassioned moments.
"Leaf is the strongest village, and thus most likely to guarantee our safety. It is also the greatest enemy of our enemy, which is to say Hidden Mist. Jiraiya has a unique benefit he can obtain from us, giving you extra incentive to accept our offer. And finally, we believe in the Leaf ideal. Both during our time in Mist and during our travels, we've witnessed a lot of suffering caused by shinobi warfare, but also by ruthless exploitation of the civilian population. Leaf is known for its unique vision of a global peace in which shinobi and civilians willingly combine their efforts for the greater good. We want our skills to serve that vision rather than being used to perpetuate a status quo that hurts everybody in the long run."
The Hokage nodded thoughtfully, revealing nothing. "Jiraiya, kindly have them taken to secure guest quarters to await our judgement."
-o-
It wasn't the same, of course. It could never be the same, and Mari had known it from the start. But it was close. She was learning to love the kids and Kagome the way she had loved their "predecessors". The people of Leaf, by and large, were the same as they ever were. Jiraiya wasn't Hokage anymore, but on the other hand saving the Third's life with a timely warning had given her standing with both men a much-needed boost.
Akatsuki had been foiled, at least for now, the Third having decided that removing the Mizukage by luring him into their ambush wasn't worth advancing their dangerous plans. Leaf still had the skywalkers, after all, and this time round Mist didn't have the wealth of Hot Springs to draw on.
Hazō and Kagome were enjoying their sealing research, though without the barrage of innovations that had characterised their original selves. Hazō wasn't going for a harem this time round, and indeed even he and Akane were just good friends. On the other hand, Keiko, whom Mari had been able to help earlier and better this time round, had successfully charmed and/or intimidated the other genin into accepting her relationship with Tenten.
Most importantly, the Chūnin Exams had passed without incident (and without the Gōketsu), and Mari's long-awaited future was about to arrive.
And when it did, it surpassed all expectations.
"Mari, kids, we need you in the Hokage's office," Jiraiya exclaimed as he rushed into the dining room. "Sarutobi-sensei wants our resident Mist experts available ten minutes ago."
Soon, before the watchful eyes of the entire Gōketsu Clan, minus Kagome but plus the Hokage, four heavily-armed ANBU escorted two strangers to stand in the middle of the room.
At least one of them looked vaguely familiar, but Hazō identified her before Mari had a chance.
"Mum?!"
Ignoring all protocol as he was still wont to do, Hazō practically flew into Kurosawa Hana's arms. She held him tightly, moisture gathering in her eyes.
Finally, Hana extracted herself from her son's grip and bowed deeply.
"My apologies, Lord Hokage, Lord Gōketsu, esteemed Gōketsu Clan members. With your permission, I will renew my acquaintance with my son on a different occasion."
Nicely done, Mari noted in the back of her head. If the Hokage now imprisoned her or sent her away, he would be explicitly preventing the reunion of a long-lost family which had just reminded them all of the depth of their mutual affection.
"As you are now doubtless aware, I am Kurosawa Hana, a jōnin formerly of Mist and, separately, formerly of the Kurosawa Clan. I trust my son has provided you with a great deal of information regarding my background and abilities, and I would be honoured to answer any further questions you may have. I thank you for your hospitality."
Attention shifted to her companion, a tall, powerful-looking young man with eyes that were instinctively scanning the room. Hazō, who until then hadn't had a chance to register his presence, met his eyes. Mari saw the expression that passed across both of their faces, and in that moment she understood everything.
"My name is Kurosawa Hanzō," the young man introduced himself. "I am a genin formerly of Mist. I am the third son of Kurosawa Ren, and have received clan training in sealcrafting, negotiation and swordsmanship. I abandoned Mist over disagreement with the Mizukage's jingoistic and inhumane policies, and persuaded Aunt Hana to join me. We request to join Hazō as members of the Gōketsu Clan. In addition to our skills, experience and bloodline, as well as the latest intelligence on Mist, I personally would like to offer a number of what I believe to be unique sealing ideas, including ways to revolutionise Leaf's industrial sphere through creative application of the unexplored properties of Force Walls."
Silence reigned as those present processed the new information. Hana looked briefly at Mari and her body language underwent a subtle shift only a fellow master could read: I am your equal, but I submit to you because one of us must have authority over the other. Mari, still in the grip of revelation, made the appropriate counter-stance on pure reflex.
Hazō ignored all of them. His whisper was addressed to Hanzō alone, but it reverberated through the room as if it was an echo of something greater.
"So what happens now?"
Kurosawa Hanzō gave a mischievous smile.
"I don't know, Cousin. But I can't wait to find out together."
Akatsuki had been foiled, at least for now, the Third having decided that removing the Mizukage by luring him into their ambush wasn't worth advancing their dangerous plans. Leaf still had the skywalkers, after all, and this time round Mist didn't have the wealth of Hot Springs to draw on.
Hazō and Kagome were enjoying their sealing research, though without the barrage of innovations that had characterised their original selves. Hazō wasn't going for a harem this time round, and indeed even he and Akane were just good friends. On the other hand, Keiko, whom Mari had been able to help earlier and better this time round, had successfully charmed and/or intimidated the other genin into accepting her relationship with Tenten.
Most importantly, the Chūnin Exams had passed without incident (and without the Gōketsu), and Mari's long-awaited future was about to arrive.
And when it did, it surpassed all expectations.
"Mari, kids, we need you in the Hokage's office," Jiraiya exclaimed as he rushed into the dining room. "Sarutobi-sensei wants our resident Mist experts available ten minutes ago."
Soon, before the watchful eyes of the entire Gōketsu Clan, minus Kagome but plus the Hokage, four heavily-armed ANBU escorted two strangers to stand in the middle of the room.
At least one of them looked vaguely familiar, but Hazō identified her before Mari had a chance.
"Mum?!"
Ignoring all protocol as he was still wont to do, Hazō practically flew into Kurosawa Hana's arms. She held him tightly, moisture gathering in her eyes.
Finally, Hana extracted herself from her son's grip and bowed deeply.
"My apologies, Lord Hokage, Lord Gōketsu, esteemed Gōketsu Clan members. With your permission, I will renew my acquaintance with my son on a different occasion."
Nicely done, Mari noted in the back of her head. If the Hokage now imprisoned her or sent her away, he would be explicitly preventing the reunion of a long-lost family which had just reminded them all of the depth of their mutual affection.
"As you are now doubtless aware, I am Kurosawa Hana, a jōnin formerly of Mist and, separately, formerly of the Kurosawa Clan. I trust my son has provided you with a great deal of information regarding my background and abilities, and I would be honoured to answer any further questions you may have. I thank you for your hospitality."
Attention shifted to her companion, a tall, powerful-looking young man with eyes that were instinctively scanning the room. Hazō, who until then hadn't had a chance to register his presence, met his eyes. Mari saw the expression that passed across both of their faces, and in that moment she understood everything.
"My name is Kurosawa Hanzō," the young man introduced himself. "I am a genin formerly of Mist. I am the third son of Kurosawa Ren, and have received clan training in sealcrafting, negotiation and swordsmanship. I abandoned Mist over disagreement with the Mizukage's jingoistic and inhumane policies, and persuaded Aunt Hana to join me. We request to join Hazō as members of the Gōketsu Clan. In addition to our skills, experience and bloodline, as well as the latest intelligence on Mist, I personally would like to offer a number of what I believe to be unique sealing ideas, including ways to revolutionise Leaf's industrial sphere through creative application of the unexplored properties of Force Walls."
Silence reigned as those present processed the new information. Hana looked briefly at Mari and her body language underwent a subtle shift only a fellow master could read: I am your equal, but I submit to you because one of us must have authority over the other. Mari, still in the grip of revelation, made the appropriate counter-stance on pure reflex.
Hazō ignored all of them. His whisper was addressed to Hanzō alone, but it reverberated through the room as if it was an echo of something greater.
"So what happens now?"
Kurosawa Hanzō gave a mischievous smile.
"I don't know, Cousin. But I can't wait to find out together."
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- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Really glad things turned out well in the end there. After the first couple scenes, I was worried this was going to be 'Mari's psyche gets gradually worn down as she fails to fix anything even with all the advantages time travel provides', but it's nice to see that the universe doesn't have to be that awful to her.
- Location
- Poland
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It was a ride.
Something tells me our dear Hanzō went through a more social version of the quest.
Now I wonder how does the Alternate!Hivemind looks like:
-There'll be no screaming in kagome. He might meet some other half-crazy paranoid sealmaster, but it won't be the same...
-The quest they'll go through wouldn't have been "bunch of outcasts on a field trip", but instead "everyday life in a dystopia". Less surviving, more smooth crime-making. He'll be a James Bond to our Original!Hazō's awkward mad scientist.
-Hanzō only took his aunt with him. He has no dream team like ours, but probably a wide net of more shallow contacts.
-Considering that the OPSEC Failure coming from Foot in Mouth Syndrome didn't happen (and wouldn't happen- better social and all that), Alt!Hivemind would probably still have direct control over their character.
-Probably made a love tetrahedron at some point in time, which then they promptly left.
Sealcrafting, negotiation and swordsmanship.
Something tells me our dear Hanzō went through a more social version of the quest.
Now I wonder how does the Alternate!Hivemind looks like:
-There'll be no screaming in kagome. He might meet some other half-crazy paranoid sealmaster, but it won't be the same...
-The quest they'll go through wouldn't have been "bunch of outcasts on a field trip", but instead "everyday life in a dystopia". Less surviving, more smooth crime-making. He'll be a James Bond to our Original!Hazō's awkward mad scientist.
-Hanzō only took his aunt with him. He has no dream team like ours, but probably a wide net of more shallow contacts.
-Considering that the OPSEC Failure coming from Foot in Mouth Syndrome didn't happen (and wouldn't happen- better social and all that), Alt!Hivemind would probably still have direct control over their character.
-Probably made a love tetrahedron at some point in time, which then they promptly left.
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- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Actually, the concept behind Hanzou was that he was the hivemind's next character after Hazou got killed by the new rules, and thus the same but more optimised. After all, the hivemind doesn't get to go back in time just because Mari does. Sorry.
- Location
- Poland
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chosen for the Grave kind of made me believe in the idea of literal, separate worlds of fiction and reality.
Also, wait- does re-rolling characters turn back time? Would that happen in this quest? If not, would Alternate!Velorien have told the players why are we going back in time, or reference the special seal at all?
Alternate!Velorien would tell us that Hazō's mommy and uncle did something strange to the spacetime continuum so it results in Hazō's being alive though not munchkined but we have to pick a new character anyway.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Quite the opposite. Rerolling characters doesn't turn back time. The number and nature of Ren's children was unspecified until the players rolled a new character, at which point Hanzou had suddenly always existed, and implicitly been doing ordinary missions and clan training during the preceding events of both timelines, just like Hazou had been doing ordinary genin stuff until he became the protagonist.
Edit:
Point A - The Hidden Swamp plan is hatched.
Point B - Hazou becomes the protagonist, and has now always existed. The hivemind takes control.
Point C - Hazou dies. A new protagonist, Hanzou, is created and has now always existed. The hivemind takes control.
Point D - Sealing failure. Mari goes back to Point A. Hanzou remains the protagonist, but the hivemind can't go back in time to start controlling him early, so between A and C he acts as a normal genin as per his backstory. When Mari reaches Point D again, she has already changed history between A and D so that Hazou is alive.
Point E - Hanzou completes the hivemind's plan, commenced at Point C, and arrives in Leaf.
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- Location
- Madness realms
How does the great re-balancing get explained in game? Will there be another "sealing failure"?
Raxner
The most dangerous man in an empty room
- Location
- Israel
Are Hazou, Keiko, and Noburi now dead? That was mentioned in the beginning of your update, @Velorien, that Mari got reports that they were weak, and then she got reports that they were dead. Is that canon?
Edit--I guess, as a result of Mari's time-travelling interventions, Hazou and Keiko are alive but NPCs, Noburi is dead (and that fact is unknown or unimportant to anyone but Mari), and Hanzou is the protagonist? Is that right?
Edit--I guess, as a result of Mari's time-travelling interventions, Hazou and Keiko are alive but NPCs, Noburi is dead (and that fact is unknown or unimportant to anyone but Mari), and Hanzou is the protagonist? Is that right?
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- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The above is a possible universe stemming from your death during the Exams followed by a specific, particularly extreme roll on the sealing failure table. It will be canon only if both conditions are met.
Edit: It also depends on the details of your death during the Exams, as that determines what happens between C and D and whether there is a D at all. In short, try not to die.
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Raxner
The most dangerous man in an empty room
- Location
- Israel
That's an old habit of mine. Haven't missed a day yet.
Uh, so I just caught up with the quest (story only thread) and I've no idea what's going on. As I understand, QM's decided to change the underlying system in favour of a simpler one, and spam omake/interludes in the meantime. Is that right? Do we have any info on when the story will start again? Did Hazo die in the mist-erious confrontation in the last story post? Don't get me wrong: I do appreciate the QM's efforts in writing those excellent omakes, but a filler is a filler.
- Location
- Australia
Wtf is going on?
Raxner
The most dangerous man in an empty room
- Location
- Israel
Yup, that's about right. They got to the Great Confrontation in the Mist Chunin Exams and realized that the current system made it way too difficult to figure out what would happen. So they've been writing omakes and interludes while completely redoing the underlying game mechanics. I'm not particularly aware of the details of the old system or the partially-built new one (because that's not my thing), but it's my understanding that the QMs feel they're nearly there and intend to restart the main story soon.
No, Hazou's not dead. He, along with everyone else, is in suspended animation. When the game picks up again, he may die, or he may live; he may triumph or he may bend. That's all yet to be determined.
- Location
- Europe
Huh, is Hazou aware of any cousins in the main timeline?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States