Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Plan Cache:
Past Major Plans:
Internal Political Sausage-Making (No Dog Scroll) by MMKII
Good Mourning Major Clans by huhYeahGoodPoint
Something Old, Something New by faflec
Rules of the Plan Cache:
This plan cache will hold these subsections so they don't fall into the void between planning cycles. Just ping me with the subsection and, unless it's wildly unreasonable, I'll edit it into the post. I'll keep them there for a while until they either make it into a winning plan, fall out of favour, or the context significantly changes. Depending on circumstances, they might end up in my Side Project Cache, or they might be dropped, and I'll make sure to be transparent about what I'm doing.
I'll do my best to quote this post after every update, so that planmakers can get an easy reminder about what we never quite got to last cycle.
- General:
- Forbidden Lore.
- Pangolin chakra-beast-killing military training plan.
- Develop jutsu exchange program.
- Buy adoption slots, if we can't get the limits raised?
- Yuno.
- In-Leaf:
- Spit out all those Tower Seals we definitely memorized.
- Formalize ownership of Shimura Estate.
- Goketsu Academy (or w/e we do with that)
- Goketsu Clinic (maybe?)
- Teaching KEI members:
- Sub-goal: scouting for overlooked talent.
- Hazou and Kagome for sealing theory (just theory), Noburi for medicine.
- Out-of-Leaf:
- Find, rebuild, and re-key Jiraiya's contacts/network.
- Make sure to look into the Yakuza.
- Clear the land we bought.
- Scale up Salterns.
- Find, rebuild, and re-key Jiraiya's contacts/network.
Past Major Plans:
Internal Political Sausage-Making (No Dog Scroll) by MMKII
Good Mourning Major Clans by huhYeahGoodPoint
Something Old, Something New by faflec
Rules of the Plan Cache:
- Get Support. The Plan Cache is for ideas that already have support of a sizeable chunk of the playerbase, not for ideas that someone wants to advocate later. For a benchmark, your idea should have enough support to be in one of the major plans of a cycle if there was room in the plan.
- Short-term. The Plan Cache is for ideas that we intend to implement in the next few updates, or more loosely within the same rough story arc. If you have an idea beyond that temporal scope, I have another post storing those ideas so ask me to put it there instead of cluttering up our short-term storage.
This plan cache will hold these subsections so they don't fall into the void between planning cycles. Just ping me with the subsection and, unless it's wildly unreasonable, I'll edit it into the post. I'll keep them there for a while until they either make it into a winning plan, fall out of favour, or the context significantly changes. Depending on circumstances, they might end up in my Side Project Cache, or they might be dropped, and I'll make sure to be transparent about what I'm doing.
I'll do my best to quote this post after every update, so that planmakers can get an easy reminder about what we never quite got to last cycle.
Last edited:
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
What do people want out of Orochimaru? I continue to be puzzled by the headlong rush into danger there.
- Location
- Yes.
Biosealing expert, probable immortality if he's anything like his canon self, and if Hiashi comes back but Jiraiya doesn't we need to have a plan to GTFO of Leaf. It's a contingency more than an actual "we want to GTFO out of Leaf right now" but it doesn't hurt to cover our bases.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Who wants to tell Tsunade that clanless think they can't be medical ninja?
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
CLAN COUNCIL CURRENTLY FILLED WITH PROXIES AND TEENAGERS: Uhh, well, uhh. Uhhhhhhh thats retroactively never a thing now allinfavourAYE!
- Location
- Yes.
I don't recall Keiko having a Pangolin contract at the Snake clan. Might need to do some hopping using Jiraiya's Toads as a medium.
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
He enslaves people and uses people as experimental subjects. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do you want a curse seal? He's not going to just share his goodies. He doesn't work that way. He uses people.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Edited to just say pangolins to the snakes. I'm cool with leaving how this gets done to Kei since she's the summoner
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
In canon that is the case.
You'll note that Jiraiya is comfortable talking to him, which would imply to me that he isn't actually Mr. "I killed all those Leaf children for the science!" in MfD. Exact specifics TBD
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
Jiraiya is strong enough to fight him, we aren't. And Jiraiya was pretty explicit about Orochimaru having done things that made him utterly disgusted beyond words.
It's still quite possible that he's basically canon bad.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Thats true, but I'm willing to chance it.
If Hiashi gets elected its better than sending us and Kagome to the Sealmaster Factory and everyone else to Missions They Aren't Coming Back From.
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
We could leave without throwing ourselves into Orochimaru's clutches.
And it is possible things won't be as bad as Jiraiya feared and we'll be able to manipulate the political situation.
- Location
- NY
It's a first step to an alternative option to Hiashi. Regardless of whether J-man comes back, Hiashi is really as bad as J-man says, Orochimaru is really as bad as his canon portrayal, or we even need an alternative option to Leaf, it couldn't hurt to at least start thinking about ways out.
- Location
- Yes.
We'd...probably die, TBH. Leaf's way more competent than Mist, especially since a) Leaf's ninja are far more skilled at tracking; and b) Mist thought we were dead from us leaving Swamp up until the Hot Springs Incident. Mostly because Jiraiya was helping us.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
If we leave Leaf and turn missing nin, they aren't going to send one scary guy with a grudge to hunt us down like Mist did. They will send an army, and that army will have our scent and have people with bullshit Xray eyes.
Last edited:
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
We have skywalkers, two summon scrolls, and Hidden Mountain as trump cards if it comes down to it.
If people really want to work with Orochimaru in the event that Jiraiya doesn't come back and Hiashi takes over and really is as bad as Jiraiya feared, here's my suggestion: we get Orochimaru to kill Hiashi, in exchange for whatever Orochimaru wants. That way we can stay in Leaf. Orochimaru has the power to do it and he's already an enemy of the village so it doesn't cost him anything.
- Location
- Yes.
And Leaf knows about that shit. Jiraiya outfitted everyone with Skywalkers, so their R&D division probably reverse-engineered them by now (if the chibi!Genin Skywalking to us after the Sunset Racer incident isn't any indication); and we told Jiraiya about Isan in the presence of a Hyuga and Yamanaka ninja.
- Location
- NY
I also like that idea. But that idea also, if you'll note, involves talking to Orochimaru first.
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Action Plan: Manor Snakes
Word Count: 298
Word Count: 298
- Ask Keiko to check if Jiraiya survived/won via Seventh Path.
- Consider establishing communications with Orochimaru/Tsunade.
- Talk with our clanmates IFF it's safe (secure + full OPSEC protection). If they agree, get Jiraiya's approval/help.
- Concern: If Jiraiya dies we won't have any way to know how the Nagi Island battle went.
- Tsunade (Slugs) and Orochimaru (Snakes) could be contacted to ask them directly instead of waiting.
- Hazou asks Keiko to send Pangolin couriers via Summoning Realm, or vice versa.
- Get settled in Leaf.
- Hug Mari. We missed her.
- Update her and Kagome on everything. Ask what's happened since we left.
- If something super traumatic happened, make sure nobody does anything stupid, especially us.
- Get to work. Discuss and work together with the clan.
- Investigate Merchant Council members' finances, rumours, and political affiliation.
- Maybe Keiko's fans might have information?
- Talk to Kagome at length about what he's been up to.
- You once expressed interest in writing. Are you still interested? How can we help?
- Has he talked with Ebisu, and has he approved Kagome's teaching methods to the Academy?
- Offer to invite the Academy Headmaster to a fancy dinner to help further Kagome's educational agenda.
- Continue funding till'n'fills (up to 両100,000).
- Pay a logistics officer (or ask Keiko) to collect data on till-n-fill distributions.
- Let Nakano's team (and Yūdai) know beforehand.
- Arrange some lunches or game nights with other Acting Clan Heads (ISC, Shino, Kiba...) to establish better rapport.
- Help out clanless ninja with good records.
- Try emulating Ami's favor economy. Offer healing, seals, training, or advance warning before we fund mission bounties (till'n'fills).
- Investigate Leaf policy on teaching Sealing, MedNin, and Technique Hacking.
- Consult the library, a tower clerk, Ebisu, Kabuto...
- Invite Akane over to eat, train...simple stuff.
- Investigate Merchant Council members' finances, rumours, and political affiliation.
Last edited:
TaliesinSkye
Occasional Editor
- Location
- Northeast Ohio, United States
The beauty of it is that it doesn't really matter. Skywalkers get us where we need to go regardless of whether they have skywalkers too. And even if they know where Isan is, if we get there in one piece in order to get us they have to go to war with a small hidden village. The casualty calculus there just isn't worth it, not in a world where they took severe losses on the Akatsuki mission. We're not a threat at that point, we're not worth going after.
Edit:
Oh hey, I just had a cute idea. Mari would be OK using her horrible, evil, no good social manipulation to do manipulations against someone who was even more evil, right? Surely that'd be the one situation that actually justified using her skills to her currently warped mental state.
What if she helped us figure out Orochimaru?
Doing something productive like that might help her out of her funk in a way her current ethical crisis could accept.
Aside from Orochimaru, she might be willing to help us politically navigate the clans when our survival is at stake.
Last edited:
- Location
- Yes.
Said hidden village has <100 ninja. Leaf has a literal order of magnitude more ninja than Isan.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
This is why we bring deadmans switches WMDs. We might not be strong enough to take him, but who cares? I'm not going to fight orochimaru, I'm going to kill him.
- Location
- Yes.
@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail Out of curiosity, did we ever read Jiraiya's answers to the questions we had?