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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Velorien said:
Maybe you should ask Ami to give you tips. Better yet, invite her to explore terra incognita with you.
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Grand idea.

[х] Action Plan: Exploring Terra Incognita
  • Arrange a meeting with Ami ASAP.
  • Go to the waters of the bay (privacy).
  • Tell her you're willing to give her a very valuable seal, but for a major favour. If she agrees:
    • Explain Skywalkers. Give her half of your supply.
    • Together, go east, over the ocean.
 
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[X] The Plan I Never Got To Make But I Wish I Could
  • Prep (Night Before)
    • Using MEW, create eight pillars of granite.
    • Use Force Walls to cleanly cut the pillars at the base.
    • Seal the pillars
  • Prep (30 Minutes before)
    • Exit the village, and skywalk up.
    • Go beyond the cloud layer, high enough up that nobody on the ground can see you.
    • Set up a ring of eight skywalkers so that they'll expire during the prematch speech or just after.
    • Unseal the granite pillars on top of them.
    • Get back to the arena without exposing skywalkers.
  • Prematch Banter
    • Endure the insults silently and wait.
    • When they're done, begin.
      • Pace the speech so that the granite pillars break the clouds just as you reach the fingersnap.
      • "Is that all you come to defeat me with? Flinging mud, looking down in the dirt?"
      • Shake your head.
      • "I suppose then you don't know what the color of the sky is."
      • "I'm not talking about the sky underneath the clouds, the mist that rolls in from the ocean that you wallow in."
      • "I'm talking about the sky beyond that. The sky beyond the clouds, higher than anyone since the Sage himself has ever gone."
      • "Because I can tell you what that sky looks like."
      • "It's a deep blue. Deeper than the ocean, so deep it almost looks black."
      • "But I suppose that doesn't mean anything to you, stuck in the dirt down here."
      • "So let me show you what it means."
      • The granite pillars should be breaking the clouds at this moment.
      • Snap your fingers and point upwards in the same movement.
      • Wait for impact. Leave the silence hanging for a few more moments.
      • "When you're ready."
      • Leap into the arena.
  • Match plan:
    • stack buffs punch hard
 
[X] The Plan I Never Got To Make But I Wish I Could

I wish to see an Omake about that.
I know it would end up with World War X, but I still want to see it.
 
[X] Action Plan: It's Kinda Sorta The Other Plan But With Shopping and Socializing
[X] Action Plan: Reasonable Handling of New Information.

[X] Do Not Buy A YOUTHSUIT
Carry out the top plan other than the following:
  • This one.
  • The Plan I Never Got To Make But Wish I Could.
  • Exploring Terra Incognita
  • Armageddon Initiative
  • The Village Hidden in the Crater
  • Shadow Run
 
eaglejarl said:
Y'all are really leaning into that "votes don't count until the update drops" thing, aren't you. :p
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[x] Happy Valentines Day, Gouketsu Hazou

  • Arrange a very complicated series of interactions disguised as dates.
    • Ami is there thinking its a date between Hazou and her.
    • Panjandrum is there thinking he is on a date with Panchipama.
    • Kiba is there thinking its a date between him and Ikeda.
    • Ikeda is there thinking its a date between her and Miko(who is totally in Mist).
    • Ino is there thinking its a date between you and Ami and is there for the gossip.
    • Noburi is there thinking its a date between him and Gisuji.
    • Kiri is there thinking its a date between her and Noburi.
    • Teuchi is there on a dinner date with Teuchi.
      • Arrange for Teuchi to bring the Akatsuki book, and accidentally lose it somewhere where we'll be later able to pick it up.
    • Panchipama is NOT there on a date with Panjandrum.
    • Hana is there thinking its a date between Ami's lungs and a bathtub of freezing water.
    • Hinata is there on a mystery date after recieiving a mysterious note accompanied by a lewd message spelled out in flowers.
    • Ren is there on a date with Gisuji.
    • Shikamaru is there thinking its an instance of two individuals spending a day together in order to facilitate greater mutual knowledge and familiarity, arranged in anticipation of a potential long-term relationship between him and Keiko.
    • Keiko is there thinking its a date between her kunai and Hazou's squishy interior.
    • Gisuji is actually there on five different dates.
    • Pandaa is there thinking its a date with Panchipama.
    • Chouji is there on a date with some hot appetizing grub.
    • Nameless Kurosawa Proctor from Event 5 is there thinking its a date with a mystery man Jonin known as ANBU Captain Gaz Patcho
    • Shin is there because someone told him in advance of Hazou's nice date with Kiri (he's plotting to ally with the Wakahisa???).
    • Asuma is there on a date with Kakashi.
    • Kurenai is there on a date with the bottom of a sake jug.
    • Zabuza is there on a date with destiny.
    • Hazou is not there.
  • Stay in your bed with a nice book, some cookies, and hot chocolate.
    • Turn your thoughts towards the subject of romance and reminisce about past opportunities gone by.
    • *snort*
    • After you're done laughing, take out your WMD blueprints from the book and start revising.
      • Design seven WMDs, simultaneous use of which would obliterate all of reality.
      • Destroy the blueprints for one of them.
      • This will be important later when the plebs find out.
    • You'll call it "Armageddon Initiative." when its done.
    • After an hour of revision, fold it up and tuck it safely next to your Profile of Many Minoris and the ten page list of things Jiraiya and Kagome told you you weren't allowed to do with Force Walls just yet.
    • Go to bed and sleep the sleep that only an absolute madman can have.
  • Just kidding you're still awake its 11pm remember that time when you said that embarassing thing in the middle of taijutsu class during your second year in the academy?
    • Oh no you're definitely remembering it now Hazou, abort mission think happy thoughts!
    • You accidentally think of Akane
      • Whoops. Big oof.
    • Wipe the tears away and get back to sleep. You are fine. Your heart is not broken into a thousand tiny shards of glass.
    • Make sure to listen to the voices that are lulling you slowly to sleep.
      • We're your bestest friends! :) :) :)
  • All according to Shikaku
 
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MMKII said:
[x] Happy Valentines Day, Gouketsu Hazou

  • Arrange a very complicated series of interactions disguised as dates.
    • Ami is there thinking its a date with Hazou and her.
    • Panjandrum is there thinking he is on a date with Panchipama.
    • Kiba is there thinking its a date between him and Ikeda.
    • Ikeda is there thinking its a date between her and Mako(who is totally in Mist).
    • Ino is there thinking its a date between you and Ami and is there for the gossip.
    • Noburi is there thinking its a date between him and Gisuji.
    • Kiri is there thinking its a date between her and Noburi.
    • Teuchi is there on a dinner date with Teuchi.
    • Panchipama is NOT there on a date with Panjandrum.
    • Hana is there thinking its a date between Ami's lungs and a bathtub of freezing water.
    • Hinata is there on a mystery date after recieiving a mysterious note accompanied by a lewd message spelled out in flowers.
    • Ren is there on a date with Gisuji.
    • Shikamaru is there thinking its a date between him and Keiko.
    • Keiko is there thinking its a date between her kunai and Hazou's squishy interior.
    • Gisuji is actually there on five different dates.
    • Pandaa is there thinking its a date with Panchipama.
    • Chouji is there on a date with some hot appetizing grub.
    • Nameless Kurosawa Proctor from Event 5 is there thinking its a date with a mystery man Jonin known as ANBU Captain Gaz Patcho
    • Shin is there because someone told him in advance of Hazou's nice date with Kiri (he's plotting to ally with the Wakahisa???).
    • Asuma is there on a date with Kakashi.
    • Kurenai is there on a date with the bottom of a sake jug.
    • Zabuza is there on a date with destiny.
    • Hazou is not there.
  • Stay in your bed with a nice book, some cookies, and hot chocolate.
    • Turn your thoughts towards the subject of romance and reminisce about past opportunities gone by.
    • *snort*
    • After you're done laughing, take out your WMD blueprints from the book and start revising.
    • You'll call it "Armageddon Initiative." when its done.
    • After an hour of revision, fold it up and tuck it safely next to your Profile of Many Minoris and the ten page list of things Jiraiya and Kagome told you you weren't allowed to do with Force Walls just yet.
    • Go to bed and sleep the sleep that only an absolute madman can have.
  • Just kidding you're still awake its 11pm remember that time when you said that embarassing thing in the middle of taijutsu class during your second year in the academy?
    • Oh no you're definitely remembering it now Hazou, abort mission think happy thoughts!
    • You accidentally think of Akane
      • Whoops. Big oof.
    • Wipe the tears away and get back to sleep. You are fine. Your heart is not broken into a thousand tiny shards of glass.
    • Make sure to listen to the voices that are lulling you slowly to sleep.
      • We're your bestest friends! :) :) :)
  • All according to Shikaku
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Amendment: voting is extended until this becomes the winning plan.
 
[X] Let @Velorien write what he wants, as long as Hazou marries Ami. We love and trust him.
MMKII said:
[x] Happy Valentines Day, Gouketsu Hazou
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Some suggestions for your plan:
  • Add date-like interactions between:
    • Jiraiya and Grandmaster F.
    • The Condor Summoner and Pankurashun.
    • Yukino and Yukizome Junior.
  • Arrange for Teuchi to bring the Akatsuki book, and accidentally lose it somewhere where we'll be later able to pick it up.
  • Have Hazou design seven WMDs, simultaneous use of which would obliterate all of reality, but destroy the blueprints for one of them. (This will be important later; I would prefer to not elaborate at this time.)
  • In the line about Shikamaru and Keiko, change "a date" to "an instance of two individuals spending a day together in order to facilitate greater mutual knowledge and familiarity, arranged in anticipation of a potential long-term relationship".
 
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Noumero said:
  • Arrange for Teuchi to bring the Akatsuki book, and accidentally lose it somewhere where we'll be later able to pick it up.
  • Have Hazou design seven WMDs, simultaneous use of which would obliterate all of reality, but destroy the blueprints for one of them. (This will be important later; I would prefer to not elaborate at this time.)
  • In the line about Shikamaru and Keiko, change "a date" to "an instance of two individuals spending a day together in order to facilitate greater mutual knowledge and familiarity, arranged in anticipation of a potential long-term relationship".
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I'm sorry, these were always in there. You eyeballin' me?
 
Cariyaga said:
Oh, if Keiko leaned into the hug instead of listening to her instincts and running away at the end of that chapter.
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Yeah, that could have changed things a lot. An immediate consequence springs to mind is that if Akane and Keiko had a healthier relationship, Keiko might have been more sensitive during the tipserator incident and made sure to get Akane's lack of consent.

Of course, another consequence would have been Keiko realising that she was being hugged by someone, freaking out and possibly committing lethal self-defence before she thought about it. (Which, come to think of it, would also have prevented the eventual breakup.)
 
Velorien said:
Yeah, that could have changed things a lot. An immediate consequence springs to mind is that if Akane and Keiko had a healthier relationship, Keiko might have been more sensitive during the tipserator incident and made sure to get Akane's lack of consent.

Of course, another consequence would have been Keiko realising that she was being hugged by someone, freaking out and possibly committing lethal self-defence before she thought about it. (Which, come to think of it, would also have prevented the eventual breakup.)
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[X] Look like Ami, because were are cute AF. Hug Keiko. Then Hug everyone else.

So simple. Me dumb.
 
Velorien said:
Amendment: voting is extended until this becomes the winning plan.
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Clarification: @eaglejarl reserves the right to close voting at any time of his choice (such as Saturday 16th of February, 9 a.m. New York Time), in which case the currently winning plan will be implemented, even if by some tragic accident it is not Happy Valentines Day, Gouketsu Hazou.

Completely unrelatedly, I'm declaring my Tuesday update to be my Thursday update, due to lack of time/spoons to write a further update this week, as well as healthy disrespect for the space-time continuum.
 
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