- Location
- Somewhere
I'd say the chapter where @OliWhail saved Hazou from a sealing failure and joined the QM team counts as that. I dunno if it was retconned, though.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Following up on this idea, the monofocus on the eternal present (as a symptom of ADHD) tends to cause interpersonal problems.
From an outside perspective, this symptom of ADHD makes the person in question appear to be incredibly self-centered --similar to how an inability to follow conversations unless it has to do with you (or a topic of personal interest) can cause relationship problems.
We can see this through Kei, whom Hazou-the-character has forgotten to Sanity check with (not just with EM Nuke, but the Jiraya Ritual, and more), and also through the Rainbow Alliance (a group we created and then dropped, and Kei took on their ire upon herself in order to spare Hazou the reputation hit).
Disclaimer: I'm not qualified to professionally diagnose Hazou-the-character ADHD, just seeing parallels.
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Interlude: How Far We’ve Come
- Location
- USA
Interlude: How Far We've Come
Somehow, Noburi never thought the day would come when Tsunade would give him, personally, the time of day. Sure, back when Jiraiya had been alive, Noburi had angled hard for her attention. But came the Battle of Nagi Island, then Leaf elected the Supreme Asshat, then Rock decided to Collapse Leaf and generally make a mess of things, and by the end of it, he'd fallen completely out of touch with Tsunade.
And now he was here. Sitting across from the world's greatest medical ninjutsu specialist. And she was paying attention to him not because Hazō had offered to pay her a ridiculous sum of money (and he had asked Hazō, not that he really believed that Tsunade would ever let money convince her to let someone underqualified near her patients), nor because he was needed to transfer chakra to someone or another so that they could train or summon or anything else. No, he was here all thanks to his own ability and the work he had put in over the years as a medical ninja.
Tsunade scowled at him as the silence between them dragged on. "You probably think you're here on your own merits, don't you?"
Noburi gulped. He nodded.
She glared at him for a moment longer, thankfully not punctuating the hostile gaze with any of her crushing killing intent, then turned aside to a scroll that she spread open on the table between them.
"Ai gave me your measure, brat. Last I remember, you were barely a cut above mediocre, with skills more fitting for some backwoods herb-witch than a med-nin working for Leaf's finest."
Noburi decided it was probably the wrong time to mention that Hashimoto, his first medic-nin sensei, had in fact lived a fair distance into the woods of Iron Country, and that she had spent a fair bit of time engraving uses of various medicinal plants into the back of Noburi's skull.
"Anyway, Ai now says you're decent. Not great, not by any measure, but decent." Tsunade scoffed. "She's sensible enough, but her standards are lower than mine. Sounds like something's clicked for you, and you've started taking your medical skills seriously. Good. Still, I don't particularly give a shit about personally teaching a medic-nin that's gone from a cut below passable to a cut or two above it, so like hell I'll take you as an apprentice."
Noburi nodded, trying to keep Tsunade's words from stinging. He'd expected some amount of verbal lashing as par for the course when interacting with the Sannin. He just needed to keep going.
"So why did you want to see me then, Tsunade?"
Her scowl deepened, but Noburi got the pleasant impression that her hostility wasn't aimed at him (thanks to the fact that he could still breathe). "Asuma has… convinced me that it's worth putting some time into seeing if you have what it takes to excel. He's not wrong that you have a bit of potential. He's extremely wrong about what to do with it.
"I see kids with potential every day of the damn week, begging me for apprenticeships and training. Not one in ten actually realizes that potential and becomes a good med-nin. You're finally taking it seriously? Fine, you can bother me if you actually end up as a good med-nin. Until then, it's a waste of my damn time to cart you around."
Riiiight then, it was not all thanks to his own ability. There had clearly been some politicking to get Asuma to "convince" Tsunade to pay attention to him, but Noburi couldn't imagine the source. This seemed like an awfully big consolation for the mini-Wakahisa exchange program falling through. That didn't change the game-plan, though. He needed to wow Tsunade, get more Sannin-tier training, and move on to being Leaf's next rising star of approximately everything.
"I understand, Tsunade. I promise I don't want to get in your way."
"That's the issue," she said, leaning forward over the table. "If you were a good med-nin, at least you'd be able to tell when you're getting in the way. As it is, you're probably going to be too clueless to tell what's going on. No way in hell you don't get underfoot. Sage's balls, I wish I could honestly say I thought you wouldn't end up doing anything actively harmful, but I've had years to learn about every breed of idiot, and I haven't seen any proof yet that you're not one of them.
"Anyway, thanks to Asuma's convincing," Tsunade said with disdain, "I'm giving you a chance. Get in my way while I'm treating a patient and I'll give you a fun medical puzzle to take home with you about putting your limbs and organs back in their correct places. Stay out of the way and we can both go home and never think about this farce again."
"And if I impress you, Tsunade?" Noburi asked.
Tsunade scoffed. "I'm sure you'll find a way to cure the patient in room 2's nerve rot. Hell, maybe you'll even regrow 21's amputated legs. It's more likely that a pig in a pearl necklace falls into my arms from a rainbow above the hospital, brat. Just shut up and stay out of my damn way."
Noburi nodded, weathering her glare for a moment longer before she abruptly stood up and strode out of the room. He shuffled in her wake as the attendant just outside their meeting room handed over a sheaf of patient information briefings to Tsunade, which she started to read as she walked.
Sadly, it seemed Tsunade's experiences with past apprentices held true. They saw patient after patient and Noburi really, really tried to find a place to stand that wouldn't get in the Sannin's way. Still, time and again, he ended up having to dodge out of the way as Tsunade scoured the patients' rooms for bandages and medicines and, in a couple cases, chamber pots. He was grateful he'd filled up his barrel before coming to see Tsunade. If he hadn't used his full chakra boost to avoid slowing down Tsunade's treatment, he wasn't sure he'd be going home with all his bones in the right places that night.
If the morning rounds were demanding, the surgeries were double that and more. Noburi had been around the hospital dealing with various people's problems before, but he'd never been in the surgery rooms where the hospital's best medic-nin worked on the patients on the razor's edge between life and death. Tsunade had apparently decided that Noburi was cleared for everything in the hospital ("If you see something you weren't supposed to see, that's Asuma's problem, not mine,"), and so he'd followed her into procedure after procedure. The majority of the patients were civilians, and of course Noburi knew that they were never given the same priority as ninja in ordinary treatment, but Noburi's respect for doctors not named Tsunade dropped a hair as he realized that none of them put in their full effort for civilians even when they were dying on the operating table. Tsunade had to deploy her threats and killing intent twice as often just for them to work half as hard for the stonemason with the crushed leg as for the genin with snakebite hemorrhaging.
Noburi hadn't understood what the security clearances were for at first – why bother keeping secret which genin fought which chakra beasts? – but then they came to the case of Taneishi Takito. A team of ninja carried in the unresponsive senior chūnin on a stretcher, with one field medic keeping him stable. Noburi's eyes widened as he saw Taneishi's wounds. Chakra beasts could cause wounds ranging from bruises to brutal eviscerations, but the clean, surgical slashes around Taneishi's vitals made it clear that Taneishi had tangled with a ninja. Either someone had violated AMITY and entered the Land of Fire… or Leaf had started authorizing missions into foreign territory again.
Tsunade growled at the field medic to back off, effortlessly stemming the man's bleeding with a quickly-cast medical ninjutsu before starting a diagnostic. "Madara's balls," she swore as she ran her hands up and down his body, barely an inch from his skin. "Head injury. We need him awake, now!"
Even before she finished speaking, she was moving to Taneishi's head for yet another ninjutsu. She tapped both forefingers to his temples, and Taneishi's eyes flickered open.
A moment later, Taneishi started flailing. Tsunade was instantly on top of him, pinning his arms and torso to the table, but Taneishi's chakra-enhanced thrashing kicks threw another approaching assistant across the room. Noburi stepped back as whatever measure Tsunade used to stabilize the patient suddenly failed, causing Taneishi's wounds to spray dark red blood across the room.
"Go get Hyūga!" Tsunade said. "Now! He needs to be immobilized!"
Noburi stayed still as the room exploded into a flurry of movement. One assistant dashed out to retrieve the Hyūga doctor while others worked with Tsunade to tend to the belligerent chūnin's wounds. Taneishi was physically strong enough that no one but Tsunade could restrain him effectively while the man was stuck in the throes of whatever battle he thought he was still fighting, and that meant that his wounds only worsened as the others failed to tend to him mid-flail.
Noburi stepped forward through the press, summoning his Water Whip and sliding it between two of the med-nin holding down one of Taneishi's legs to place the Water Whip on the patient's chest. He closed his eyes and pulled. A moment later, Taneishi went limp again as Noburi claimed the man's final dregs of chakra.
Tsunade whirled on Noburi, rage in her eyes. "You fucking idiot! He needs to be awake, or else-"
Noburi moved between the two med-nin now that they were no longer fighting to restrain Taneishi. He released his Water Whip, causing the jutsu's water to splash across Taneishi's chest and body. Noburi placed his hand on the man's chest and pushed again, giving Taneishi just enough chakra to groggily come to his senses. Noburi could see the man shaking off his disorientation. Noburi had seconds at most before Taneishi started fighting again, if Tsunade didn't punch Noburi's head off before then.
Noburi extended his chakra sense through the water that now soaked through all Taneishi's clothes. Yes, he could sense Taneishi's chakra system as a whole, but each part of the chūnin's body was apportioned a part of that chakra, where it ran through various internal coils and sections of musculature.
Could he…?
Noburi would like to use the Vampiric Dew to selectively drain chakra from different parts of the patient's body in order to keep them conscious during a surgery but unable to resist. This is quite the challenging thing to do, given that his use of Vampiric Dew so far has been gross draining of all of a target's chakra. I'll call it a TN 60 Fantastic VD check. He needs to use his medical training too in order to determine how to interface VD with the specifics of the target's musculature. Arbitrarily, I'll say that the difficulty of the MedKnow check is ⅔ of the VD check rounded up, purely by mechanical analogy to Sealing. So, TN 40 MedNin, TN 60 VD.
Here goes:
Noburi (Medical Knowledge): 35 + 4 (invoke "I will be the next Tsunade") + 3 = 42
Noburi (Vampiric Dew): 50 + 6 (invoke "Barrel Boy") + 6 (invoke "Star of the Show") + 3 = 65
Noburi pulls it off and earns Tsunade's grudging appreciation for his contributions.
Here goes:
Noburi (Medical Knowledge): 35 + 4 (invoke "I will be the next Tsunade") + 3 = 42
Noburi (Vampiric Dew): 50 + 6 (invoke "Barrel Boy") + 6 (invoke "Star of the Show") + 3 = 65
Noburi pulls it off and earns Tsunade's grudging appreciation for his contributions.
Noburi focused his chakra-drain, pulling chakra from the man's limbs. As Noburi absorbed Taneishi's chakra, the man started to fade back into unconsciousness, so Noburi quickly fed chakra back into Taneishi's system, trying to balance the chakra drain with the chakra drip. After a few long seconds, Noburi found the balance. Chakra flowed into Taneishi's chest to keep him conscious, and it drained out of his limbs before it could reach his enhanced muscles and let him fight back.
Noburi looked up to see Tsunade running her diagnostic over Taneishi's head. The chūnin blinked up at the light in confusion, his fight response fading as Noburi robbed him of the ability to do so. Tsunade looked back at Noburi with an unreadable expression.
"How long can you sustain that?" she asked.
Noburi grimaced. "Five minutes. Maybe eight." He didn't dare say more with the delicate maneuver taking up all his concentration.
Tsunade nodded, moving around the table to start treating Taneishi's gut wound. "Remove the chakra flow to his torso muscles, but keep his heart functioning. Also, I will break your arms if you try something like this ever again without my explicit instructions."
Noburi moved aside as Tsunade stepped up alongside him.
It was a long, long, long way away, but as he continued his delicate control of Taneishi's body while Tsunade started treating the man's wounds, Noburi couldn't help but imagine the day when he and Tsunade might be equals.
o-o-o
"Happy anniversary!"
Hazō and Akane burst into Ino's private tearoom (having been escorted by a couple of particularly helpful clansmen). Ino gasped, then squeed in delight as she stood and dashed over to hug her lovers.
Hazō knew that Akane was in deep pain after the Elemental Mastery incident, but he wasn't sure why Akane now tried to present a cheery front rather than openly despairing the way she had after burning the Earth Country city. Hazō hugged Ino back tightly and smiled as he felt Akane do the same. At least Akane had stopped keeping her distance from him. For the last week, she'd been avoiding him whenever he tried to spend time with her. Still, at least she'd finally put that aside to help him plan their anniversary with Ino – though she'd shut him down from referring to it as the Ino-versary.
"Wow," Ino said, stepping back from the hug. "It's really been a year, huh?"
"It has," Hazō agreed. "What did you say when we were first talking about this in the hospital? It was that ninety percent of relationships fail within the first three months, right? If that's true, how many relationships survive the first year?"
"Oh, around twenty percent, I'd say," Ino said with a mischievous grin as she stepped back to start cleaning up her things.
Hazō blinked. "I don't think that's how the numbers work," he said.
Ino prodded him firmly in the chest. "Look, a girl's never too glad to find a brain-damaged boyfriend in a hospital bed, so that may have skewed the numbers down. You're lucky that I'm very empathetic, so I shared your brain-damage enough to say yes. And you're lucky that your performance outside the bed is better than your performance in it!"
"Hey!" Hazō said, feeling a blush creeping onto his cheeks.
"The hospital bed," Ino said with a grin. "What? I like a tall man, and you're not quite tall enough to tower over me from a low seated position. What did you think I was saying?"
Ino glanced over at Akane who was smiling melancholically as she looked back and forth at the banter between her lovers. Ino stepped over, sweeping Akane's arm in hers as she grabbed onto Hazō as well, bringing the trio into close circle.
"So," Ino said, voice suddenly dropping to a secretive whisper. "I have to assume you didn't interrupt my lazy morning tea for no reason at all. You're not going to squander our special day, are you?"
Hazō smiled and squeezed Akane's hand. "We would never dare. No, we have a full itinerary planned. Akane?"
"So," Akane said, "we start with a visit to the theater district, where they're finally putting on Tsukahara's adaptation of Tears of Red-"
"Oh, I love Tears of Red!" Ino said.
"And then we're going to the fashion show-"
"What fashion show?" Ino said, expression suddenly hawklike.
"Oh, you know," Hazō said. "The fashion show."
"Hazō," Ino said, "I am possibly the single person in Leaf most up-to-date on what is happening in the broader world of fashion. The list of Leaf clans that took home notes on what other people were wearing at AMITY could be counted on one hand, and suffice to say basically no one is checking in on the various trends from the city daimyo in Fire, much less from other countries. If there were a fashion show in Leaf, I would know about it. So, what fashion show are you talking about?"
"It was a secret," Hazō said, chuckling. "We got a bunch of designers in Leaf to have a contest between themselves to make new styles. We didn't tell them anything except to 'be inventive'. We thought you could look through what they came up with."
"And of course, if you like anything you see, I'm sure that seeing the Queen of the Yamanaka might convince those courtesan women in the daimyos' courts to try out some new styles," Akane said.
Ino laughed. "And I'm sure while you have me showing off all your new styles, Mari will be somewhere in the background hawking your clan's silks?"
"No comment," Hazō said, grinning.
"Next on the agenda," said Akane, "a romantic walk along the Chishiro River…"
Hazō and Ino both saw the momentary microexpression of dread on Akane's face, though she quickly smoothed it over. Ino glanced at Hazō for an instant, raising an eyebrow to ask if there was anything she could do. Hazō couldn't help but think for a moment about the Akane that he'd first met in the Liberator camp, so full of joy and optimism, the Akane that he'd known as a missing-nin, before Leaf – or just Hazō himself – had ground her down to this. Was there anything he or Ino could do to help Akane find her inner joy again? Hazō shrugged his confusion minutely.
Akane marshaled herself, playing off the pause as waiting for Ino to interrupt. "And then, dinner at the Minami's new restaurant-"
"The Minami have a new restaurant?" Ino asked.
Hazō shrugged. "They've been expanding. Civilian-run, of course, but Minami-owned and funded. Apparently, it's quite good."
"And then," Akane said, "last but not least, a massage night in the Gōketsu's new hot spring. It's not quite as large or nice as the first place we were looking at near the Hyūga estate-"
Ino made a face. "Ew. You were gonna live by the Hyūga?"
Hazō laughed. "I had the same reaction when I was shopping around. Lovely location, but no one likes nosey neighbors."
"...but it's nice enough," Akane finished.
Ino's eyes narrowed. "Don't think I can't see the theme here. New play, adaptation of the old. Fashion show with new styles, all by Leaf designers that I know. Minami restaurant – let me guess, new place with new takes on traditional foods?" Ino asked. Hazō and Akane nodded. "And of course, the hot springs. What's the message?"
Hazō glanced at Akane then shrugged. "It's been a year. A better year for being together through it, but also a year during which some really awful, terrible things happened. Against all odds, we managed to survive it. Still, it left some things to be desired." Hazō grimaced. He hazily remembered the long weeks of clan head business, especially in war-time, when he'd hardly had any time at all to see Ino. At times, he'd nearly forgotten he was supposed to be dating her.
"So, we're stable, we're happy, and I don't regret any of the time we spent together, but there's still so many new things for us to discover. I'm hoping that our next year is better, and that we find new ways to bond with each other and just have more fun."
Ino smiled. "That sounds like a plan to me! To wonderful new beginnings!"
o-o-o
Yamamoto Aoi and Kaori sipped at the twin mugs of hot chocolate the eccentric Gōketsu Kagome had gifted them without a second thought, each easily worth a week's worth of income if not more. They shared a glance, then tried not to jump as another explosion caused the various covered pots and plates of food on the table to shake and rattle. Distantly, Honoka squealed.
"Stop messing with the tripwires!" Kagome's voice rang out.
"It was just a training tag, Uncle!"
"No excuses! Explosives are dangerous! You stay away from the tags and let me set them up. Go work on Sector Four!"
"But Uuunncleeee-"
"I said no excuses! Sector Four! Check all the lines of sight! You never know where the stinkers will come from!"
Kaori raised an eyebrow. "Does she also call you a stinker when you try to get her to go to bed early?"
Aoi sighed, lowering her head into her palms. "Sage's mercy, I thought she only did it to me. Yes, she does that. You don't think she's calling her teachers that word too?"
Kaori shrugged, then flinched at the sound of another distant explosion.
"Honoka!"
"Wasn't me, promise!"
"Is this… good for her?" Kaori asked, hesitantly.
"Well, she's passing her classes now," Aoi said. "Kagome is a weird man, but he does seem to want the best for her."
"I don't doubt that he wants the best for her, but he might not be all that…" Kaori trailed off, tapping the side of his head meaningfully.
Aoi nodded and extended a hand over the table to clasp her husband's. "I understand. I've thought about this a lot. I talked to the others of his clan. They agree that he's dangerous-"
"Aoi, that's-"
Aoi slapped Kaori's hand lightly. "Wait till I'm done, dear. They agree that he's dangerous to outsiders, because he lived out in the woods for a long time with no one at all to protect him, and it made him be very wary of anyone or anything he met. They also said that he cares for nothing, absolutely nothing, above the safety of his family. And it looks like he's decided that Honoka is family."
Kaori pulled his hand back and crossed his arms over his chest, face still as the ground rumbled again (this time not punctuated by an explosive crack – though both civilians knew better than to go asking questions). "She already has a family."
Aoi shook her head. "We can't do everything for her, dear. She was struggling so hard in the Academy because we don't know how to help her with all the things they're having her learn. Have you heard Kagome talk about numbers? It's incomprehensible. And that's not even getting into ninja skills."
Kaori gestured at the piece of paper in the middle of the table. It was rectangular, perfectly cut and evenly thick throughout with no visible grain, and its white background was marred only by crisp, clean strokes of black ink, cutting through in illegible patterns. "I suppose I can't complain about that. You said that inside this paper thing is a basket of fresh plums? I wouldn't ever have believed it if I didn't see Honoka helping you put stuff in and out."
Aoi nodded. "Remember dear, they're called 'seals'. But they say that seals aren't that important compared to knowing how to fight monsters. So many other young ninja die to beasts in the wilds because they don't have mentors to help them. That's something only the clans have, normally. We're lucky that Kagome is taking Honoka under his wing."
Kaori sighed. "I suppose it really is for the better, then. I'll speak my prayers of gratitude once the explosions stop and I can sleep."
"Speaking of getting to sleep, we should finish dinner soon," Aoi said. She stood up and faced the door to yell. "Honoka! Kagome! When will you be ready to eat?"
"Just five more minutes, Mom!"
"We're almost done with the third ring of defenses; we're almost halfway there!"
"We need to make three more rings!?"
"No complaining! It's good practice!"
Aoi looked at her husband and smiled. "I'll put another log in the stove to keep the food warm. Something tells me this might take more than five minutes."
o-o-o
Time froze as Mari entered the room. Trouble, already? She could try to keep walking and pretend to have civilian reaction time, but that might open her up to a real attack. Better to play it cautious, if they already saw through her disguise enough to greet her on combat-ready footing.
Mari let herself freeze mid-stride, eyes flicking to one side, then the other. A young woman, maybe mid-twenties, surrounded by motes of golden light that Mari noted were flickering faintly – a Lightning ninjutsu. Another man, hands by his side but already encased within stone blades that Mari had to assume were razor-sharp. And where there's two…
There was a muffled gasp and the sound of feet gently hitting the floor behind Mari, followed by the soft whisper of a sword being drawn from its sheath.
She had been captured and left nowhere to flee. The three ninja would certainly be among the best of their respective clans, so she was likely facing one or more jōnin. Internally, Mari swore. She could kill a dozen chūnin if she needed to, and against a single jōnin opponent, she could likely handle anyone but the absolute strongest of them. A handful of peer or near-peer enemies was her worst possible matchup. At least none of them would likely be practiced enough in genjutsu resistance to stop Mari from causing her particular brand of havoc – the taijutsu brute and the weapons user most likely. Sadly, with her chakra low, Mari couldn't use her most powerful genjutsu.
Though, of course, she wasn't here to fight.
Mari stepped forward before the swordsman behind her could press his blade into her back and start puppeting her around. The two ninja ahead of her tensed, but Mari carefully controlled her body language to make herself seem casual and non-threatening. It wouldn't last forever, but it would give her the leeway she needed to approach the target.
Mari bowed. "Mayor Emiya, I see that you are as sharp as ever. If I may ask, what gave me away this time?"
Mayor Emiya Manako, civilian ruler of the city of Sarubetsu in the Land of Rice, didn't smile from where she stood behind her desk. "I'm not in the habit of monologuing to intruders." The mayor turned to face the ninja to her side. "Attack her in thirty seconds if she doesn't start explaining who she is," she said before turning back to Mari expectantly.
Mari sighed exaggeratedly. "Nighttime horseback rides are bad for my skin," she said.
Emiya raised an eyebrow, then made a 'hold off' gesture to the ninja as she retrieved a thin book from an inner drawer of her desk and leafed through it. After a moment, she sighed. "Trinity, holding pattern three. Apologies for the false alarm." She shot Mari a glare. "Things would be easier if people with codephrases actually used them when scheduling appointments, instead of penetration-testing my defenses at every available opportunity."
Mari shrugged unapologetically as the three Sarubetsu ninja left from Emiya's office through various exits, one even through the broad window behind Emiya's desk, scowling at her with varying levels of hostility. "I couldn't be sure that your contacts would still be in the same places. It's been so long. Say, your ninja had the same colors the last time I was here, didn't they? Red for the Irie, yellow for the Murano, and violet for the Hinago."
"The Harada attempted to reclaim a stake of Sarubetsu last year," Emiya said absently as she shuffled through her papers. "You're lucky you didn't come here then. My patience was much shorter. But you're correct that it has been a long time, Gōketsu Mari."
"You've heard about that, then?" Mari said.
Emiya let out a short, performative laugh. "Heard about what, a group of missing-nin with descriptions and abilities closely matching the ones in my city becoming the first to be openly accepted back into a hidden village, and Hidden Leaf at that? I am capable of asking traveling merchants about events beyond the borders of Rice, and they do occasionally remember monumental events in ninja culture."
"I suppose it was presumptuous to assume that things wouldn't have changed between us," Mari mused as Emiya bent over to read a report from her desk. Eventually, the mayor straightened up, looking down over Mari.
"Indeed," Emiya said. "From the evidence you left behind, I gathered that your team captured that sealmistress, Arikada, under delicate circumstances that didn't give you time to debrief me. No matter, I am grateful that you stuck to my given parameters – you harmed no civilian of Rice nor caused property damage to Sarubetsu in your escape. However, that does not change the fact that you are now a village-nin, and are therefore unwelcome here. On account of our… 'successful' collaboration in the past, I will not make this any harsher than it needs to be, but you will need to leave. If you have traveled far to get here, you may rest outside of town overnight, but you will be gone from our lands tomorrow morning. Whatever our past relationship, Rice and Sarubetsu will not benefit from building relationships with the hidden villages and eventually getting pulled into your mess of alliances and enemies."
Mari nodded. "You're right on all counts, of course. A member of my team was grievously injured and we had to rush back to our employers to ensure that she would be treated. Still, you did tell me that after Arikada was dealt with, that I ought to come back and make amends for manipulating Innkeeper Emi's trust. Well," Mari said, spreading her arms slightly, "I've returned to make amends."
Emiya met Mari's gaze neutrally for a long moment. "I say a very similar thing to essentially every missing-nin that I must negotiate with, which is easy enough to manage as they very, very rarely refrain from harming the people in my town on their way to meeting me. In every other case, this has had the intended effect of keeping them far away from Sarubetsu once our business has concluded. I find that nothing is a surer repellant for a missing-nin than the idea that she might face the consequences of her own actions."
"I understand that. At first, I didn't want to return, but now-"
Mari cut herself off, amused, as Emiya raised a hand to interrupt her. "Sorry," Emiya said, clearly uncaring. "I'm sure you've had some deep personal journey that led you to decide to make amends with the people you harmed. Very good. Please do it somewhere outside of Rice. Village ninja are not welcome in this country."
"I understand that, but I have no intention to harm anyone here except to apologize, and I intend to never return to Sarubetsu afterward. I'm not here on village business, and you can keep people on me at all times if you want to confirm that. I only want to make my amends with Emi, that's all."
"I will not expose her to any risk through you," Emiya said. "If you truly wish to do something for her in exchange for your lies and manipulation, you may leave a small amount of money with me and I will arrange for her to receive it as a gift. No matter your choice, you cannot stay in Sarubetsu any longer, Gōketsu."
"Emiya," Mari said, "I am no longer any threat to Sarubetsu. If I had a mission from my village, I would have completed it before you were on guard and aware of me. If I wanted to harm Emi, there are a dozen ways I could have done it and been miles away before anyone realized. The fact that I haven't done these things is proof that I mean no harm. Please, just assign a ninja to keep an eye on me and let me speak with Emi."
"Why?" Emiya demanded.
Mari sighed. "I… was an innkeeper once, almost, and I know there's always things that need fixing up. I just want to help out at her inn for an evening, that's all."
Emiya leaned back, watching Mari carefully and thinking. Eventually, she came to a decision in her mind and nodded to herself.
"You will not mention your past identity as," Emiya's eyes glanced down at the report, "Shinano. Do not make Emi feel stupid for being kind to someone she thought was in desperate need."
"I understand."
"You will be out of Sarubetsu by sundown. I will have a ninja follow you in the city and beyond its limits. You and any other compatriots will not attack or manipulate them under any circumstances, or else all three clans will destroy you to the full extent of their abilities."
"I understand."
"And I will never see your face in Sarubetsu again, nor hear any hint of you taking any action within this city. Is that clear?"
"Crystal," Mari said.
"Very well," Emiya said, glancing out of the window. "You have around two hours. Good luck, Gōketsu, and may the Sage grant that I never see you again."
o-o-o
"You two, deep clean any room that doesn't have someone in it. You two, start clearing up the kitchen. And you two, tend to the grounds around the inn. Uproot any weeds, mark any loose or rotting boards in the walls, and clean the walls thoroughly."
Mari's 'water clones' raced off to follow her instructions. Mari had spent the last couple of weeks imagining the ways that she would have improved the Firefly Inn, and the morning scouting out the inn in person to plan her schedule of repairs and upgrades. Now, her shadow clones would race off to fulfill those plans. Hopefully, she'd read Emi well enough that none of Mari's design choices would be actively irritating, but Mari could admit that she had more than a few… opinions on the innkeeping business.
"And you said this mission was paid for by Manako?" Emi the Younger asked.
"That's right," Mari said with a gentle smile. Her disguise in Sarubetsu was wildly different than the last time – longer, braided black hair rather than short brown hair worn loose, and just as she'd taken efforts to exaggerate her youth with her disguise kit last time, this time she instead exaggerated her age, adding hints of crow's feet and laugh lines. As expected, Emi never showed even a hint of recognition. Maybe Mari had overprepared, but after encountering the mayor's perceptiveness, Mari didn't want to take chances.
Emi bobbed her head, walking the line between a nod and a bow. "I hope this isn't too much trouble for you. I know senior ninja are very busy all the time."
"It's true that I have a lot to do," Mari said, "but I don't mind doing ordinary things with ordinary people every once in a while. Still, I was glad to do this for Mayor Emiya and you."
"For me?" Emi asked hesitantly.
"Yes," Mari said with a smile. "A long, long time ago, I passed through your inn. Don't bother trying to figure out when – I was in disguise. Still, while I was there, you showed me a great deal of kindness that you didn't need to show. I'm glad to do something in return."
Emi bowed again. "I understand ma'am, but it is my responsibility and my pleasure to serve my guests well, and of course to serve honored ninja. I don't think it's anything that deserves repayment."
"I thought that too, for a long time," Mari said. "As a ninja, it can be easy to get people's kindness. Fear or greed can often get people to treat you well even without needing to manipulate them. It was so easy to get people to be kind that I started taking it for granted, treating people like tools, like dolls that I could position at will."
Mari paused and Emi stayed quiet. After a moment's thought, Mari continued. "It was only recently that I started to think about where kindness comes from. I realized that in order to manipulate kindness out of people, they had to be willing to give it at all in the first place. Freely-given kindness is worth celebrating on its own." Mari smiled again. "I think it says something about you that you can't narrow down which customer I was at all by the fact that you went above and beyond what's expected of an innkeeper for me."
They watched the clones swarm the Firefly Inn, doing the various odd jobs that Mari knew tended to pile up and get forgotten over time when the traveling season got busy. Hopefully, getting the inn tuned to perfection would ease Emi's burden this winter.
"Well, honored ninja," Emi said, "I don't think I'm nearly as good-hearted as you think I am, and between you and me, many of my favors are just to win repeat customers and new customers by word of mouth. Still, I and my inn appreciate your help."
"I can recognize someone with a good heart when I see them," Mari said. "I can't afford to be kind like that as a ninja, but I do always wonder where I might have been in another life…"
Mari trailed off and they watched the work in silence for a while. Eventually, Mari spoke again.
"A long time ago, I knew a young girl who was an innkeeper's daughter. I had to leave her behind when I became a ninja, but there are still times when I wonder what life might have been like if I grew up alongside her. I'll always be curious about what kind of woman she might have turned out to be. What friends did she make? Would she have learned to carry on her mother's duties, keeping customers' bellies full of food and their beds full of feathers? I guess I'll never know."
Emi turned to face Mari with a wondering expression. "Chiyako?" she asked.
Mari laughed and raised her hands apologetically. "Sorry, I'm not your old friend. I was just musing on the long, long past.
"All I meant to say is that I think the innkeeper's daughter that I knew would have liked to know you, Emi. I think she very much would have appreciated your kindness. Seeing this," Mari said, gesturing to the inn in front of her, "is just making me think about a friend I wish I'd had. That's all, and sorry for being so long-winded."
Emi took a moment to digest that. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I hope your friend is doing well out there, somewhere."
Mari smiled. "Likewise. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go give new instructions to my clones. They're stupider than a box of rocks when left alone. Best of luck, Emi."
o-o-o
"Long time no see, runt!"
"Ami!"
Any observers in Shikamaru's private office (which were hopefully very few), would have been treated to the sound of papers fluttering, a teacup tilting precipitously as the table shifted under it, and rapid, padded footsteps across the floor as Kei threw herself into her older sister's arms.
"Guess who's back? Are you glad to see me?" Ami asked.
"Enough," Kei said, voice muffled deep in the folds of Ami's clothing. "I am presently prioritizing a cherished family reunion and neither questions trivial nor rhetorical will capture my interest."
"Actually," Ami said, voice sounding strained, "ease up on the grip there a bit, Kei. The Hokage's been chewing me up hard enough, you don't need to finish the job for him."
"Did you encounter adverse circumstances, or did something transpire between you and the Hokage?" Kei asked.
"No," Ami sighed as Kei let go. "Just the usual joys of AMITY business, twisting the world to my will one country at a time. Hidden Sand's in a rough spot, but did you know they have some killer bloodlines? I laid some seeds to set up another little organization there, but like any seed you plant out in Wind Country, it'll take a while to flower. More power is great and all, but I don't think the desert air is great for my skin. If only there were someone that could go there and yank their clans around for me.
"By the way, when I said they've got killer bloodlines, I mean literally killer. I was barely more creeped out by hanging out around Hoshigaki Kisame than by facing down the Karappo, and there's nothing that humbles a ranged weapons spec quite as much as running around the Tetsuya Clan's compound. And of course, the less said about the Yodomi the better. So let's get to that better part of the conversation. What's been happening in Leaf while I was out and about?"
Around the corner, by the room's exit into the Nara inner bedchambers, Snowflake quietly slunk away from Kei and Ami's reunion. Snowflake was not permitted to enjoy the sun's rays, but she had thought it possible to let herself be warmed by the sunlight's reflection. What a typical punishment for her hubris it was, to be burnt by the sunlight without being permitted to partake of its warmth.
She paused as entered the bedchamber. Tenten stood there, standing expectantly.
Snowflake shook her head. For all her many-fold merits, Tenten could not replicate the intimacy that Snowflake yearned for from Ami.
Tenten extended her arms to her side, then raised them a fraction.
Snowflake shook her head.
Tenten lowered her arms again, then inclined her head to one side slightly.
After a long moment, Snowflake nodded, then crossed the room to Tenten. She stopped within Tenten's reach, just barely far enough that their chests didn't graze each other at the heights of their breath. So many times she'd done this now, so many experiments, and for what? Still, such hesitation, such fear.
No. It had not been for naught. She had learned and practiced. One day, she would have what she wanted.
Slowly, Snowflake raised her arms and folded them around Tenten's back. After a second, she stepped forward, letting Tenten stand still and loose as Snowflake pulled herself into the hug.
They stayed there for a moment, Snowflake trying and failing to ignore the accelerating pace of her heart, the steadily accumulating sweat under her armpits, and tight, choking heat gradually rising through her chest and throat.
Eventually, before the sensation could grow too unbearable, Snowflake stepped back. She backed away and sat down on her bed, feeling suddenly dizzy thanks to the ordeal.
"My apologies," she said, shivering. "I wish I could give you longer, give you more, yet…"
Tenten simply sat down on the opposite bed, leaning forward as she gently placed her hands folded palm over palm in her lap. Tenten focused on Snowflake, and long years of experience let Snowflake understand Tenten's intention. Whatever you need, I will be here for you.
o-o-o
"Lord Asuma?"
Sarutobi Asuma, Seventh Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, gestured Nara Shikamaru, Clan Lord of the Nara, into the small, private office in the Tower.
"Please, come in and sit down," the Hokage said, puffing on the half-burnt cigarette.
Lord Nara sat down, stiffly. "How may I help you, sir?"
The Hokage glanced over the table. "I had the messenger call for Shikamaru, not Lord Nara, you know."
Lord Nara's stiff and formal posture collapsed into a haphazard pile of flesh and limbs, presumably loosely held together by a spine and the chair somewhere within.
Asuma laughed. "That had to be intentional. I don't believe you slouch like that without dedicated practice. You were never that bad, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru smiled and straightened up to a lazy slouch. "It's in my blood, sensei. I do remember telling you that I could take a nap under any conditions at all."
"And I do remember telling you that you were not to do so except on my orders," Asuma said.
"And my response was always that one of my favorite adverse conditions for nap training was 'against orders,' correct?"
Asuma nodded, a smile crossing his features before he turned thoughtful again. He took another puff on his cigarette, then blew out a smoke ring that lazily drifted to the ceiling of the office. "We haven't had much time together lately, Shikamaru. We're reduced to retreading old conversations over and over that we practically have memorized, like the lines out of your shogi opening books."
"Ugh, I knew this was going to be about work."
"What else would it be, these days?" Asuma asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I wasn't exactly expecting anything else, but what a pain," Shikamaru said with a sigh and a plaintive glance to the uncaring office ceiling. He pushed himself up just barely enough to see the map spread on Asuma's desk. "If that was our opening, is this our game board?"
Asuma nodded. "Do you recognize it?"
"Isan, the village in Tea."
Asuma nodded. "Now, a second question. Imagine a shogi variant where we replace, say, the knight with a new piece. The new piece can travel anywhere at all on the board, cutting any piece it wants."
"The game would be unplayable," said Shikamaru. "The king would always be in check. The first player to move would win."
"Correct," said Asuma. "Now, suppose you didn't start with this piece, but instead, any piece on the board could be promoted and turn into it at any point."
"You're doing a disservice to a respectable game, sensei. What's the point of this tortured analogy?" Shikamaru asked.
Asuma chuckled and blew another smoke ring. Then he grew serious. "You know of one technique from Isan, Shikamaru."
"Yes, Akane's-"
Shikamaru paused. Asuma watched him as the pieces clicked together one at a time.
"Oh," Shikamaru said.
Asuma nodded. "And so, Shikamaru, with my limited information, I believe your clan has some background in the prevention of potential apocalypses. I'm not exactly excited about this new one brewing on our doorstep, and I would really, desperately like to stop it. Hopefully, the window of opportunity hasn't closed yet. I wish we could spend some time like normal, not doing work, but I don't think that's an option. I need your help to keep the world from ending."
Shikamaru waited for long seconds that dragged into minutes. Asuma slowly dragged out his cigarette as Shikamaru assembled his strategy. Eventually, Shikamaru straightened up.
"Troublesome. Who knows?"
Happy holidays to all from the MfD QM team.
- Location
- United States
Aaaaaaaaaaa that was so good.
All the fluff and character development and slice of life shit was just Amazin
All the fluff and character development and slice of life shit was just Amazin
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
A wonderful chapter. Fuzzy feelings all around... Happy holidays back to the QM team, you're awesome 💜
[X] QMs and players: have a terrific time for all that's left of the holiday season
[X] the QMs treat themselves this week
[X] QMs and players: have a terrific time for all that's left of the holiday season
[X] the QMs treat themselves this week
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- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
[X] The QMs treat themselves this week
Unaligned Player
Agony that desires to meet Extinction
- Location
- Adrift between sanity and madness
- Pronouns
- Shrug
[X] The QMs treat themselves this week
redzonejoe
Vaguely Pastafarian
- Location
- Canada
[JK] The QMs work extra hard to treat the players as a gift. The players don't owe anything but the customary reciprocation of like and hug ratings.
Aodyssey
The glass will not protecc you
- Location
- Chaldea
That was so adorable!!
I'm so happy with how Mari decided to spend the new year. I'm absolutely enamored with the literal perfection that is Tenten. I love the rest of them too, esp. Noburi, but those two were the best best.
Thanks for all of your hard work, QMs and players <3
I'm so happy with how Mari decided to spend the new year. I'm absolutely enamored with the literal perfection that is Tenten. I love the rest of them too, esp. Noburi, but those two were the best best.
Thanks for all of your hard work, QMs and players <3
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Screw the rules, vote anyway
[X] QMs and players: have a terrific time for all that's left of the holiday season
[X] The QMs treat themselves this week
[X] The QMs treat themselves this week
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
[X]: Screw the rules I have explosives
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
You mean that this just-get-a-planner "advice" actually works?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
For some people, yes! ADHD is very varied in its expression, and in what works to fix it, more than most mental maladies that I am aware of.You mean that this just-get-a-planner "advice" actually works?
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
It's mostly a joke based on the fact that what works for Hazō in this theory is what every person for whom it doesn't work has heard as a variation of "my genius piece of advice to you poor lackadaisical disorderly dullard" a hundred times. Right up there with "Akane's depression would be cured if she took more walks outside".
If when Hazō tried diluted Akimichi stimulants, it had put him to sleep, we could be more certain about the tongue-in-cheek diagnosis.
Then again, having dozens of voices loudly disagreeing with each other all the time, suboptimal social skills, the soul of an optimiser, and the ability to "do the thing" in times of duress when everyone's still reeling, all of that sounds like neurospiciness that's at least ADHD-related
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- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I mean... Hazou's still forgetful af, so "actually works" may be a bit of a stretchYou mean that this just-get-a-planner "advice" actually works?
- Location
- Italy
I mean Hazou switches from "Genius social planner that can outplay Social-Specs" to "Idiot child incapable without a backbone" and from "Super genius with iron focus on every single detail in the room in the span of a second on something that happened X years ago" to "I just forgot to tell you half a dozen things, also, why am i here exactly?".
Honestly, the best way for a diagnosis to Hazou is "He's Hazou", "Out contamination" or "everything and nothing depending on the time of the day".
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them