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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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There are literally only two possible plans:

Either this is a genjutsu, in which not cool Mari/EJ. Or this isn't, in which case we need to throw everything into getting Kagome back via Asuma.
 
nb: Obviously we should dispel first. I'm willing to give 60% odds this is genjutsu.


Hey. So you guys know how we always threaten people, and it's never the right time? Well, this is it.

To clarify: Orochimaru does not care about the laws of leaf, except insofar as they are a tool of him. Make no mistake: He is taking Kagome prisoner because it is convenient. The laws of leaf are of little recourse here. If we were on better terms with Naruto, this would be an excellent place to ask for his help; it's probably worth the effort anyway. Kagome is a Special Jonin and a sealmaster, so going to Asuma might get us some benefit be cause Kagome is still measurable percentage of Leaf's firepower, but we can't rely on that. Failing that, getting Shikimaru to help refine our approach might not go astray, or Anko to see if she has any insight into his abilities, but that's pretty much it for potential help in leaf. We should definitely consider trying anyway but they're all even longer shots. Outside of leaf, getting help is even worse better. Mountain is far off and would die to Orochimaru, we haven't met with Akatsuki yet, He would swat Hana as easily as he did Kagome, and we have no other real international allies. This is probably going to come down to us.

Proto Plan A: Fortunately, our position relative to Orochimaru is probably better than almost anyone else in Konoha atm. We have Kagome's stockpiles, some of Jiraiya's seals, a solid core of fighters, and the ability to get better ta killing Orochimaru over time thanks to sealing. We are very much an example of "if you strike at the king, you must kill him-" only, given us, that isn't necessarily enough to save Orochimaru. If we decide that it is a necessary bargaining chip, we can literally design our next character to be capable of fucking him, in particular; my leading methods are soul stealing (gain skills from defeated / killed foes -> eventual permadeath) and memetics as far as cool bloodlines that could also get Orochimaru, but I have boundless faith in the ability of the thread to come up with ways to fuck him up. This lets us do game theory now (and he's one of the few characters in setting we can count on to understand what that means) and follow through on it later. If we go this route, we should also be prepared to weaponize sealing failures if we need to, and come stocked with plenty of explosives.

Proto Plan B: We meet with Asuma, hammer out a price now, pay up, and kill him afterwards. We have Jiraiya's notes. Once we get Kagome back, we spend the next few months hammering out ways to kill an immortal, and help Akane level her EM a bit. Otherwise, we continue as normal, just with the added lesson (and we really should have known this already) that we need to be ready for Orochimaru to just do things, out of the blue, that might fuck us over. Definitely should also consider working with other sealmasters on this if we think we can maintain OPSEC.
-Subplan: We should consider leaving Konoha afterwards instead

Proto Plan C: We waltz over to his house using skywalkers, with our explosives (make more 12-SIN's), Seal some heavy aerodymnamic objects, just bombard his compound and the surroundings until there's nothing left. Not ideal, since Kagome dies too; we should only do this if hammering out a price falls through or it looks like Kagome is already dead / worse than dead.
 
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Chapter 310.1: Nightmares Shattered
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    • Chapter 310.1: Nightmares Shattered​

    "Dispel," Hazō muttered desperately, pulsing his chakra in futile hope that this would be a genjutsu. Please, please, please, let it be a—

    The world shattered around him and he found himself sitting at the dinner table. Exactly where he had thought he was before 'Orochimaru entered the tent.' Surrounded by all the same people, including an unabducted Kagome-sensei, an untraumatized Honoka, an uninjured Aoi, and a gleeful, cackling Mari.

    Rage flashburned Hazō's soul and he surged to his feet, flashing down the table at chakra-boosted speed to where that raging, evil, vicious bitch sat.

    "Hazō?" Akane asked, somewhere behind him. He couldn't spend the energy to respond, choosing instead to grab Mari by the arm and drag her upright. She went willingly enough, making no attempt to get free, and that was the only reason Hazō settled for dragging her outside instead of punching her fucking head off.

    Once they were out in the cold and the snow, Mari twisted free of his grip and stepped back, still smiling.

    "Something wrong?" she asked innocently.

    "You fucking cunt! I should—"

    "You should shut your mouth," Mari interrupted. "You're the Clan Head and you're surrounded by your people." She gestured around at the other tents and the heads sticking out of them at the noise. "Do you want to show yourself as an out of control child yelling at his teacher, or as a mature leader chastising a subordinate?" She looked behind him and made a 'wave off' gesture. Hazō glanced back to see Noburi ducking back into the tent.

    Hazō gritted his teeth and took several long, shuddering breaths. It took long seconds for him to finally get himself under control.

    "You went too far," he ground out. "That was too much."

    "Stop being such a puling child," Mari replied, contempt dripping from her voice. "That was far from the worst I could have done, and not even close to what an enemy would have done. You told me to help train you, and that's what I'm doing. Stay here until you have yourself under control; I'll make sure there's still some creaky chicken when you come back."

    She moved to go past him, back into the tent, but stopped when he raised an arm to bar her way.

    "What?" she said, sighing and rolling her eyes.

    "You are losing yourself, Mari." The impossibility of the Out danced in his eyes, rendering her into nothing but an interesting composition of lines and shapes and relationships and threads that linked to him, to Noburi, to the others. "You would not have done that to me a year ago. Your behavior and personality have changed since you got back on your feet, and I don't like the direction they're going. It's barely acceptable when you aim it at our enemies, but if you start turning it inwards I will take steps. For now, take your dinner and go somewhere else. Eat it, then meditate and consider whether this is really the person that Gōketsu Mari wants to be."

    She sighed in disgust. "Hazō, I'm not a child who can be sent to her room. It's just adorable—"

    "Stop."

    She did, seeming surprised. He stepped in close, looking down on her with all the distance of one who was only loosely tethered to the paint. "I am your Clan Head, Mari. You will obey. Go. Now. Into the woods, don't come back for two hours. You have your gear; your flesh will not suffer more than unpleasant sensation for that time."

    She stepped back, looking uncertain. "Hazō—"

    "Your Clan Head has given you an order, daughter of the Gōketsu. Do you obey?"

    She swallowed. "Fine. Put my plate in a storage seal."

    She turned and vanished into the night.
     
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    • I was very skeptical because I couldn't believe Orochimaru had social skills worse than US.
     
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    Unaligned Player said:
    I was very skeptical because I couldn't believe orochimaru had social skills worse than US.
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    Not remarking on how this applies, but isnt this actually one of the most believable facts about Orochimaru someone could ever tell you...?

    HAZOU: Have you tried being ... slightly more prosocial?

    OROCHIMARU: I could just paralyze them and eat them instead, it saves me five minutes.

    HAZOU: Ah. Right.
     
    ContextBot said:
    Not even a TYS point.

    Bad @eaglejarl , you're a bad bird.
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    Given what was needed to get TYS 5, 6, and 7-8, at this point I think the only thing that'd get us to TYS 9 is a teammate's horrible death in front of us. What just happened almost counts but Kagome was still alive and we had a shot at saving him.

    Unaligned Player said:
    I was very skeptical because I couldn't believe orochimaru had social skills worse than US.
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    I mean, Oro being bad at socials kind of jives with me. I'm sure he can command subservience very well but it wouldn't surprise me if he went from the awkward prodigy we saw in one of those interludes of Jiraiya's past and never actually figured out socials but became so powerful that he didn't really need to anymore.

    ...also, well, getting kicked out of the village because you let the dictator think you've turned evil sort of suggests that you dropped a socials ball somewhere, and I doubt Oro was that much different between then and now.
     
    Let me correct myself. I was very skeptical because I couldn't believe Orochimaru had worse social skills than us at our WORST.
     
    So, hear me out here, but I'm starting to think we should maybe give Mari a Clan Head mandated break.

    Our current position in Leaf is (relatively) solid, and it's becoming clear that Mari is falling more and more back into old habits; habits that she herself hated and wanted to move away from.

    I feel like the Clan will live without her for awhile.
     
    We interviewed the candidates, but we still don't know who they are(like, dislike, personalities, etc), with the exception of Haru, who seems to be more of the same.
     
    So, here's the possible outcomes to the Mari situation that I can think of:
    • She comes back broken again.
    • She comes back exactly the same as before.
    • She comes back even more unfettered.
    • She doesn't come back at all.
    We should plan for all of these.
     
    Inferno Vulpix said:
    So, here's the possible outcomes to the Mari situation that I can think of:
    • She comes back broken again.
    • She comes back exactly the same as before.
    • She comes back even more unfettered.
    • She doesn't come back at all.
    We should plan for all of these.
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    There's also the possibility that she comes back better able to fake being well with the information that she hasn't been doing so well at that.
     
    Raichu1972 said:
    So, hear me out here, but I'm starting to think we should maybe give Mari a Clan Head mandated break.

    Our current position in Leaf is (relatively) solid, and it's becoming clear that Mari is falling more and more back into old habits; habits that she herself hated and wanted to move away from.

    I feel like the Clan will live without her for awhile.
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    I agree very strongly. What's more, I also think we should give Akane some time off so she can hang out with/watch over Mari.
     
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