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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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How hilarious is it going to be if immediately after we stomp Hinata in the exams we release a seal that can emulate the Byakugan publicly? :p
 
I wonder if we could get Hiashi to have a stroke.

"Oh yeah I jury-rigged this seal to replace your clan over a month of work.

By the way, Jiraiya, could I have a peak at the Konoha seal stores? I might be able to rig up something more useful with those."
 
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Cariyaga said:
I wonder if we could get Hiashi to have a stroke.

"Oh yeah I jury-rigged this seal to replace your clan over a month of work.

By the way, Jiraiya, could I have a peak at the Konoha seal stores? I might be able to rig up something more difficult with those."
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Must convince Jiraiya to grant us clearance once we are Chunin.
 
Cariyaga said:
How hilarious is it going to be if immediately after we stomp Hinata in the exams we release a seal that can emulate the Byakugan publicly? :p
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Why would you release such a thing? Just prove you have it and you've got the Hyuga in your pocket. If you set up a couple deadman switches they wouldn't be able to risk going directly against you.

Also the clan heads going to mist seems like it paints a pretty decent target. If hazou found out Hana was executed near Ren and if he attacked her in the grips of his emotion reaction and if Jiraiya stepped in we could get a pretty interesting chapter. With tsunade now showing up I think they're trying to bait out Akatsuki.

It'd be pretty interesting if going to mist was cover for a raid on Akatsuki and the leaf leadership mysteriously disappeared during the event. A ton of skywalkers would let such a party move pretty quickly.

:tinfoil: obviously all of this drama was a mission to justify bringing a larger retinue to mist. Had to make it look like relationships had soured.
 
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Oh hey, an actual update this time!

Even better, every single scene was amazing! Is that a vibrator seal in my pocket or am I just happy to read this?
 
Cariyaga said:
I wonder if we could get Hiashi to have a stroke.

"Oh yeah I jury-rigged this seal to replace your clan over a month of work.

By the way, Jiraiya, could I have a peak at the Konoha seal stores? I might be able to rig up something more useful with those."
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Ah, sorry, there was a "typo". Corrected. :p
 
Kalkin said:
Why would you release such a thing? Just prove you have it and you've got the Hyuga in your pocket. If you set up a couple deadman switches they wouldn't be able to risk going directly against you.

Also the clan heads going to mist seems like it paints a pretty decent target. If hazou found out Hana was executed near Ren and if he attacked her in the grips of his emotion reaction and if Jiraiya stepped in we could get a pretty interesting chapter. With tsunade now showing up I think they're trying to bait out Akatsuki.

It'd be pretty interesting if going to mist was cover for a raid on Akatsuki and the leaf leadership mysteriously disappeared during the event. A ton of skywalkers would let such a party move pretty quickly.

:tinfoil: obviously all of this drama was a mission to justify bringing a larger retinue to mist. Had to make it look like relationships had soured.
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Ah, and yeah, we wouldn't actually want to release such a thing publicly... but it's fun to fantasize about.

It'll at least be part one of our Kage-level Armaments and Operations Suit.
 
Depending on how pissed Jiraiya was, one possible concession could have been something that would deliberately save Hana from execution - like demand that she be the Leaf POC during the exams, or some other innocuous thing that requires a verifiably living person at some later time.

If Jiraiya considered it a legitimate concern (and wasn't distracted by rage) then he probably would have taken measures to keep her alive - for Hazo.
 
Adept_Woodwright said:
Depending on how pissed Jiraiya was, one possible concession could have been something that would deliberately save Hana from execution - like demand that she be the Leaf POC during the exams, or some other innocuous thing that requires a verifiably living person at some later time.

If Jiraiya considered it a legitimate concern (and wasn't distracted by rage) then he probably would have taken measures to keep her alive - for Hazo.
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Considering that he was sufficiently-undistracted-by-rage to not kill her, and to extract concessions out of it (by the way -- good job Jiraiya! You're learning!), I suspect he would have iff it occured to him as a concern.

...Which isn't guaranteed, but seems likely, given that he was Leaf's spymaster and he probably knows the cultures of other nations pretty damn well.
 
Cariyaga said:
Considering that he was sufficiently-undistracted-by-rage to not kill her, and to extract concessions out of it (by the way -- good job Jiraiya! You're learning!), I suspect he would have iff it occured to him as a concern.

...Which isn't guaranteed, but seems likely, given that he was Leaf's spymaster and he probably knows the cultures of other nations pretty damn well.
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I'll note he provides Hana incentive to go along with these demands by mentioning "If you want to see your son again." Implying that adhering to these and being less of an asshole will get her the ability to see Hazou again.
 
Coming Soon to a Leaf near you:

KAGE-LEVEL ARMAMENTS AND ORDNANCE SEALTECH SUIT.

Or if you prefer:

KAOSSUIT!

(This is not a joke.)
 
eaglejarl said:
"Lord Hokage, come in," Hana said, allowing her voice to show surprise at the unexpected visitor. "How may I help you?"

Jiraiya stepped inside and stamped the snow off his feet. He brushed off his coat and hung it neatly on the hook by the door before backhanding Hana into the wall with stunning force.

"Ungh," the diplomat grunted, shaking her head and pushing herself to her feet just in time to be seized by the hair and dragged in a tight circle that smashed her headfirst through the lath-and-plaster wall. Jiraiya continued the motion, the wall exploding out of his way as he stepped forward, one hand still tightly anchored in Hana's hair. He pounded her face into the floor, breaking her nose and splattering blood everywhere, then grabbed her by the collar and the belt so that he could hurl her into the ceiling.

She fell back, struggling to shake off the impact and get her limbs working again, but she hadn't yet reached the ground before he punted her across the room with a chakra-boosted snap kick.

She hit the ground hard but turned it into a roll, coming back to her feet and tapping the storage seal scribed on the disk that she wore clipped on the left side of her belt. Her right-hand sword emerged, the feel of its familiar shark-skin hilt helping her push aside the panic. Even as it appeared, her left hand cocked back and hurled the miniature kunai hidden in her sleeve.

"Needle Jizō."

Jiraiya's hair lengthened with blurring speed, fully encasing him before the kunai and the explosive tag attached to it could reach him. The moment the explosion cleared, the hair swirled away and Jiraiya walked forward calmly.

"What are you doing?" Hana demanded, eyes flicking around desperately. This was not a man she faced, this was a thunderstorm made flesh. She could feel his killing intent pressing her back, an implacable force that could and would wipe her from existence without effort if its master let the leash slip one small notch farther. She unsealed her second sword and brought them both to guard position, decades of training overcoming the knowledge that fighting the Toad Sage was utter futility.

Facts flickered through her mind as she desperately searched for survival: He had brought them from the entryway into the receiving room. He was between her and the door. The north wall was an exterior wall, made of solid brick that she couldn't get through quickly. The south wall was another lath-and-plaster that led to the bedroom where her emergency gear was stored. It probably wouldn't be enough, but—

"Lightning Lash no Jutsu."

A rope of crackling energy appeared in Jiraiya's hand, flicking out at a speed that not even the Iron Nerve could evade. She managed to get one sword in the way but the buzzing scream of the lightning carved through the ancestral steel as though it were butter and wrapped around her throat. Her intact sword and the stub of the other fell from nerveless hands as her whole body spasmed.

Before she could even think of reacting she was yanked forward off her feet, flying across the room into a punch that arrested her momentum instantly, cracked her sternum, and dropped her to the floor on her back. The wind went out of her at the impact but she rolled aside, utter mastery of the Iron Nerve moving her body even though her lungs were empty and nonfunctional and every nerve screamed in agony from the lightning that Jiraiya had blasted her with and then allowed to melt away.

She feinted a kick, pivoted, and ran for the door. If she could make it outside into the darkness and the storm, perhaps she could escape. He was here alone, with no Hyūga or Inuzuka to track her, so—

He kicked her in the back of the knee before she could take a step, dropping her in a sprawling heap to the floor. He was on her before she could move, one knee on her neck and a steely grip on her hands that dragged them behind her with no effort. She cried out in pain as her forearms crossed at the small of her back, nearly dislocating her shoulders in the process.

"Toad Clan Technique: Steel Spit no Jutsu."

A moist and slimy mass struck her, cooling instantly into a bond that glued her forearms together and to her shirt.

"Up."

A calloused hand in her hair pulled her to her feet and dragged her along, stumbling and struggling to keep up. He dragged her out the east door of the receiving room, down the hall into the bathing rooms where the hottubs waited, steaming lightly in the cool air.

The world became dark and liquid. She had not managed to get her wind back before he pushed her head and shoulders under the surface; there was no air in her lungs and she had to fight to keep herself from panicking, knowing that the panic could overwhelm the Iron Nerve and force her to draw a breath that would do nothing but drown her. Instead she struggled, kicking out as best she could. The attacks were batted aside with the ease that a taijutsu instructor shows an Academy student. She tried to flip forward, hoping that she could tear out the hair he was gripping and then continue the motion to leap out the far side of the tub. A sandaled foot caught the back of her inside knee, slamming it into the side of the tub with brutal force and pinning it there.

The world brightened as he pulled her up. She managed to draw in a desperate, gasping breath before she was pushed back under. Her hands were still trapped in his steel-blob manacles, her knee still pinned in place by his foot, her head firmly controlled by his grip in her hair; there was no struggle to be made, but she tried anyway.

He held her down longer this time, held her until her chest burned and her body revolted, drawing in a gasping breath of useless water that turned her purposeful struggles into thrashing, choking helplessness. Only then was she brought back to the surface and dropped in a heap on the floor. She choked and gasped, coughing up the water and struggling to draw air in its place.

"Hazō asked me not to overreact."

Jiraiya's voice was completely calm, almost disinterested. It would have been far preferable had he been shouting.

"He would be sad if I tore your head off and put it on a pike over the Tower's door. So, for his sake, I won't. I will instead simply send you home in disgrace. You have an hour to pack and then the ANBU will escort you out.

"My initial impulse was to send you home in Gamazō's stomach. You'd survive as long as we left your head sticking out—his stomach acid isn't that strong—but you'd lose most of your skin. Oddly enough, the reason I'm not going to do that is because Kagome spoke up for you. Kagome, of all people. He made the point that your actions, disgusting and reprehensible as they were, made a very slight improvement in Mari's condition. That earns you the right to go home on your feet.

"You were a diplomat and a guest in this village. You were here because I wanted to make Hazō happy by reuniting him with his mother. You were here because the Mizukage desperately needs an alliance with Fire in order for Mist to survive, and because that alliance would be convenient for me. It would not be convenient enough to overlook your actions.

"I'll be sending a letter with you. Tell Ren that if she gives me all the concessions in the letter then you'll be allowed to see your son again and the alliance negotiations can go forward. If she objects or quibbles in any way then the deal is off and Mist can howl for its supper. I'll expect to hear back by a week from today.

"Have a good night."

Footsteps padded away down the hall. He closed the door quietly behind himself.
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This is glorious, and everything I had hoped for.

Also, from the reaction voting, it looks like plan "Pax-Leaf" is the preferred option, with "Spy network" and "Educational reforms" only falling behind due to discord conversations with some voters. That means our priorities will be: 1) develop seal-tech, 2) make sure educational reforms continue, but not get personally involved in them, and 3) develop network if possible. Other things which would be nice include things like "Get Jiraiya's overpowered friends more involved with Leaf. Towards that extent, actionable things that I think Hazou should be doing are:

1) Developing combat oriented sealing solutions and techniques. These will both make Hazou personally stronger, and eventually lead to overall empowerment of Leaf.
2) Provide minor support to Kagome (likely, just encouragement and a person for him to destress to) about educational stuff.
3) Use Till-n-fill missions as
a) signalling to Tsunade that we're serious about Uplift and have a plan
b) a way to develop an independent communication network

I think that should cover the majority of our time, likely with ~8 hours a day spent on Sealing, ~4 hours a day spent on Till-n-fill, and some of the sealing time being spent supporting Kagome. I think that's probably the best thing we can do to improve Leaf's military right now.

For our next action, we should probably track down Tsunade and have a single scene interaction with her to pick her brain about Till-n-Fill improvements, which may lead to Hazou needing to do more work, but should get us an in with her.
 
My ideal three scene plan for the next update is:

1) a conversation with Tsunade intended to get her feedback on Till-n-Fill missions. Would it be better to just fund them? Would it be better to do them ourselves? Are there any particular needs that she has identified which we should try to prioritize? This conversation should achieve two things: 1) Leave Tsunade with the impression that we're seriously trying to do good, likely building goodwill with her. 2) Improve the efficacy of Till-n-Fill missions, and Hazou's ability to contribute to them. It may provide in-universe justification for just making seals and selling them to fund missions, or it may provide in-universe justification for just doing missions ourselves. Either is fine by me, so long as the person we care most about signalling to (Tsunade) signs off on it.

2) Have a secure conversation with Jiraiya in which we outline our plans for a KAOS Suit. Explain each part, and ask to raid whatever sealing archives exist to help our development. The goal being to develop tools which any properly trained individual can use to gain a significant combat boost in a wide variety of situations, to be assigned to Leaf strike teams.

3) Ask Kagome if there's anything we can do to help in teaching, but otherwise continue sealing research & till-n-fill missions

As an aside, does anyone know if we can have our retroactive training include any paper-jutsu techniques? That's definitely the most effective jutsu Hazou can obtain. Even if it isn't used for the tournament, I think we should aquire it as soon as possible to become a Jounin-level combatant as quickly as possible.
 
eaglejarl said:
Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to offer welcome to @FORTHEYOLOZ , who reads extremely quickly and has just finished catching up on a million words of story. Nice to have you, good individual of unknown gender. I hope you'll say hi.
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Thanks @eaglejarl ! I usually lurks than participate, especially in such a complex quest. Nevertheless, its rare that I encounter well made world-building, deep emotional drama, great fightscenes, intense intrigue and political manuvering, and even comedy within a Rationalist!Naruto setting of all places! The QMs have done a great job making this work.

If I have one criticism to make, it's that the naming conventions of jutsu can occasionally break the sense of immersion in the setting. You guys did a stellar job with most thing and it usually doesn't affect the mood, but in emotionally charged scenes like the Jiraiya vs Hana, the "Steel Spit no Jutsu" actually made me cringed a little. I'm not sure how this can be solved, but to me it does impact the setting cohesion a bit.

I havent go through the 40 page player guide or the spreadsheets yet, so I wont be participating any time soon, but I'm gonna do it!
 
FORTHEYOLOZ said:
Thanks @eaglejarl ! I usually lurks than participate, especially in such a complex quest. Nevertheless, its rare that I encounter well made world-building, deep emotional drama, great fightscenes, intense intrigue and political manuvering, and even comedy within a Rationalist!Naruto setting of all places! The QMs have done a great job making this work.

If I have one criticism to make, it's that the naming conventions of jutsu can occasionally break the sense of immersion in the setting. You guys did a stellar job with most thing and it usually doesn't affect the mood, but in emotionally charged scenes like the Jiraiya vs Hana, the "Steel Spit no Jutsu" actually made me cringed a little. I'm not sure how this can be solved, but to me it does impact the setting cohesion a bit.

I havent go through the 40 page player guide or the spreadsheets yet, so I wont be participating any time soon, but I'm gonna do it!
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Can you elaborate what about Steel Spit no Jutsu bothers you?
 
Velorien said:
Can you elaborate what about Steel Spit no Jutsu bothers you?
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It's honestly a very minor issue, but I feel that the jutsu names that are spoken out loud when casting should be in one language only. Either have it all in english as "Toad Clan Technique: Steel Spit" and drop the redundant "no Jutsu" part, or all Japanese. I am not a linguist, so I went to google translate for 10 mins and got something like "Hikigaeru no Gijutsu: Suchīru tsuba".

I'm not sure how to solve this, except having someone who knows Japanese look through. The issue is minor and rare enough anyway.
 
FORTHEYOLOZ said:
It's honestly a very minor issue, but I feel that the jutsu names that are spoken out loud when casting should be in one language only. Either have it all in english as "Toad Clan Technique: Steel Spit" and drop the redundant "no Jutsu" part, or all Japanese. I am not a linguist, so I went to google translate for 10 mins and got something like "Hikigaeru no Gijutsu: Suchīru tsuba".

I'm not sure how to solve this, except having someone who knows Japanese look through. The issue is minor and rare enough anyway.
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It's a minor point of contention. For myself, I am a translation purist in the same way as you just described (especially when "jutsu" effortlessly translates to "technique"), but every QM has writing preferences which we either forget or choose not to standardise for whatever reason. For example, @eaglejarl has "Momma" as a distinctive part of Hazō's idiolect. I really don't like that word, so I always use the British equivalent instead. If we were co-writing a novel, we'd obviously aim for 100% consistency, but I think in a context where it isn't practical to fully coordinate on many issues, minor things like this are forgivable.
 
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