Remove ads

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Reader mode
MMKII said:
Bonus ultra difficulty:
Shiki Fujin does the trick.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
While a good lead, it has two problems:
One- it still locks him in an equivalent of hell. Still better than Hazou, but not good.
(not even if he seals the soul of a grasshopper)
Two- body still remains. Soul too, just stuck in Shingami's stomach.
Hazou and others could simply use the Shinigami Mask and release the poor sod (just like Orochimaru did)
Even if we somehow dispose of the masks, dark!Hazou is an inventive lad- bringing a soul from beyond? With a body of the host, no less? No problem!
 
Current personal goals for Hazou:
  • Purchase green spandex
  • Wear said spandex while on a date with Ino
  • Confide in Ino, including having her mind-delve Hazou if possible
  • Afterwards, go and have a friendly chat with Ibiki in T&I
  • Go home and nap
  • Demonstrate reasonableness and sanity throughout the day (sans wearing green jumpsuit; just make up an excuse like "lost a bet with Lee" (bonus points for actually losing a bet))
  • (META) Use exposure therapy to replace thread's irrational fear of spontaneity with rational evaluation of likely outcomes that are context-dependent (e.g. - spontaneous, off-model behavior as missing-nin vs heir apparent to the Hokage's clan)
E: This is not a joke.
 
Last edited:
Vecht said:
(META) Use exposure therapy to replace thread's irrational fear of spontaneity with rational evaluation of likely outcomes that are context-dependent (e.g. - spontaneous, off-model behavior as missing-nin vs heir apparent to the Hokage's clan)
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
META: Use of anecdotal evidence to convince thread that vast overestimates or underestimates can be drastically more dangerous than reasonable accuracy and do not-in and of themselves- qualify as "Constant Vigilance" or "Being careful."
 
PurposefulZephyr said:
An off-topic question, based on a small scenario:

Imagine a jounin-level ninja who really pissed of future!Hazou.
He knows it, and knows his life is forfeit. And that's putting it lightly.
He's on the run, and wants to escape them the only way he knows has even a chance of working- disposing of his own body, so that not a single piece of him remains (so not eligible for resurrection, regardless of the method).
Is there any jutsu or a seal he could use to actually accomplish this goal?
Explosive tags (implosion tags, even) won't work, since pieces of his body (even if very small) still remain.

Bonus difficulty- somehow remove him from the timestream, so Hazou can't get (a copy of) him from the past.
Bonus ultra difficulty- use only things available in canon. No Perfect Death Seals.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I guess if he removes all traces of his intact DNA it should be sufficient.

Jump into a pool of concentrated sulphuric acid while having swallowed a time delayed explosive seal.

He gets blown to bits. The acid dissolves and destroys all DNA in those bits.

Edit:it may also work if he gets eaten by a large Chakra beast with strong digestive juices that will completely digest him. Shouldn't be hard to do.
 
Last edited:
DAKKA! said:
I guess if he removes all traces of his intact DNA it should be sufficient.

Jump into a pool of concentrated sulphuric acid while having swallowed a time delayed explosive seal.

He gets blown to bits. The acid dissolves and destroys all DNA in those bits.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Not paranoid enough! Do the exact same procedure with 10^4 carcasses of similar weight and volume. Arrange to have the results of each thoroughly intermixed and then dumped into a volcano.
 
You know, the obvious way to do things would be to make a seal failure that erases one's existence from the timestream. But that's...hard to do.
 
DAKKA! said:
I guess if he removes all traces of his intact DNA it should be sufficient.

Jump into a pool of concentrated sulphuric acid while having swallowed a time delayed explosive seal.

He gets blown to bits. The acid dissolves and destroys all DNA in those bits.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
If he worried about his clones, he'd be shit out of luck- his apartment left plenty of hairs, after all. (assuming he's not perfectly smooth)

Seals (and many techniques) don't really care about contemporary logic- it may require merely a molecule that was a part of him at the time of death (though that would be hella unwieldy).
Though it would neatly avoid the DNA Ressurection Seal, and bunch of other possible Seals as well.

Any way to just mutilate/annihilate the soul and stash the (preferably exploded) body far in the Out?
... Actually, aren't there Out demons who feed on souls? Kagome said something about it, I think.
EDIT:
faflec said:
You know, the obvious way to do things would be to make a seal failure that erases one's existence from the timestream. But that's...hard to do.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Wouldn't Watchers intervene in any purposeful seal failure?
 
Last edited:
MMKII said:
META: Use of anecdotal evidence to convince thread that vast overestimates or underestimates can be drastically more dangerous than reasonable accuracy and do not-in and of themselves- qualify as "Constant Vigilance" or "Being careful."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I don't know about that one. In my experience, vastly underestimating difficulties and then desperately scrambling to deliver is how most things of substance are achieved.
 
Roomba said:
I don't know about that one. In my experience, vastly underestimating difficulties and then desperately scrambling to deliver is how most things of substance are achieved.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

We are not the plucky SG-1 team, with a brilliant inventor who can practically invent new form of explosives on a moment notice...oh wait.
 
Roomba said:
I don't know about that one. In my experience, vastly underestimating difficulties and then desperately scrambling to deliver is how most things of substance are achieved.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Its more that I see "Drastically overestimate everything negative" and "Drastically underestimate everything beneficial" being used in scenarios where it shrinks the sample space of "Stuff you could likely accomplish" down by a fair amount.

Velorien said:
On the contrary, 0 individuals have already succeeded in doing so, doubtless with more to never have come.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I'm happy that (regardless of whether or not this update scars Hazou's very soul) you at least seem to be enjoying yourself today!
 
Roomba said:
I don't know about that one. In my experience, vastly underestimating difficulties and then desperately scrambling to deliver is how most things of substance are achieved.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

My "funny" reaction is actually "anticipating sobbing into a can of Monster at 10pm and lamenting the fact that being The Competent Guy at work just means you're left to save the day when others do precisely this."
 
PurposefulZephyr said:
Imagine a jounin-level ninja who really pissed of future!Hazou.
He knows it, and knows his life is forfeit. And that's putting it lightly.
He's on the run, and wants to escape them the only way he knows has even a chance of working- disposing of his own body, so that not a single piece of him remains (so not eligible for resurrection, regardless of the method).
Is there any jutsu or a seal he could use to actually accomplish this goal?
Explosive tags (implosion tags, even) won't work, since pieces of his body (even if very small) still remain.

Bonus difficulty- somehow remove him from the timestream, so Hazou can't get (a copy of) him from the past.
Bonus ultra difficulty- use only things available in canon. No Perfect Death Seals.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
If we're assuming indefinite creativity and sealing proficiency on Hazou's part only bounded by limitations of human mind, then virtually no method would be sufficient: as long as he wants to reach the jounin, he would be able to design a True Resurrection seal, which reconstructs a person's mind based on living people's memories and the exact state of the world.

So we need to stop Hazou from wanting to reach the jounin. Assuming diplomacy is impossible, the best way to do it is to erase the jounin from his memories. Artificially inducing a shift would do it, but it's unreliable and could just as well trap the jounin in a different state of eternal suffering.

I think destroying the universe is the jounin's best bet — Hazou can't remember him if Hazou's brain no longer exist. We know plenty of ways to do it; my personal favourite is a ̢̀͝ ͡ ͢ ̶̀ ͝ ̧̀͘ ̸͞͝ ̸̷ ̧ ̷ ͘ ̸ (a self-replicating sealing failure), but it's by no means the only one.

For canon-friendly solutions, consult @Radvic.
 
The only way to defeat Future!Dark!Hazou with canon techniques is probably something thats ridiculously OP AND Save-or-Die AND does something beyond mere killing.

Izanami and Mugen Tsukuyomi are the only things that comes to mind.
 
Last edited:
PurposefulZephyr said:
An off-topic question, based on a small scenario:

Imagine a jounin-level ninja who really pissed of future!Hazou.
He knows it, and knows his life is forfeit. And that's putting it lightly.
He's on the run, and wants to escape them the only way he knows has even a chance of working- disposing of his own body, so that not a single piece of him remains (so not eligible for resurrection, regardless of the method).
Is there any jutsu or a seal he could use to actually accomplish this goal?
Explosive tags (implosion tags, even) won't work, since pieces of his body (even if very small) still remain.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Set a few triggers up to seal his body after death; destroy it in the middle of a pile of other seals. As per recent MfD canon, the body is likely to be lost in the Out.
 
This is a reminder that pangolins still need to be dealt with. We are still in the intel gathering phase for that, but we really need that intel. We don't even have a head count yet.
 
PurposefulZephyr said:
An off-topic question, based on a small scenario:

Imagine a jounin-level ninja who really pissed of future!Hazou.
He knows it, and knows his life is forfeit. And that's putting it lightly.
He's on the run, and wants to escape them the only way he knows has even a chance of working- disposing of his own body, so that not a single piece of him remains (so not eligible for resurrection, regardless of the method).
Is there any jutsu or a seal he could use to actually accomplish this goal?
Explosive tags (implosion tags, even) won't work, since pieces of his body (even if very small) still remain.

Bonus difficulty- somehow remove him from the timestream, so Hazou can't get (a copy of) him from the past.
Bonus ultra difficulty- use only things available in canon. No Perfect Death Seals.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Maximum parsimony answer: hire or convince a ninja to storage-seal your corpse and destroy the seal. Since a literal academy student could do it, the going rate should be pretty cheap. Probably helps for it to be a trusted confederate, though, so they won't be tempted to sell the body.

Or, for maximum drama, spend all your chakra on some awesome technique and use the last dregs to activate a timed explosive and seal yourself.
 
Langevin said:
Maximum parsimony answer: hire or convince a ninja to storage-seal your corpse and destroy the seal. Since a literal academy student could do it, the going rate should be pretty cheap. Probably helps for it to be a trusted confederate, though, so they won't be tempted to sell the body.

Or, for maximum drama, spend all your chakra on some awesome technique and use the last dregs to activate a timed explosive and seal yourself.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Everyone here is overcomplicating things in this scenario.

Just activate stacked implosion seals on your face.
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top