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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Vecht said:
Hm. Hazou is thinking in nested parentheticals. He might be a bit worse for wear than I thought...
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...Is it a bad time to note that I think in nested parentheticals four and five deep frequently?
Jello_Raptor said:
From Nara's (I think) description of the least chunin exam finals.

If i recall correctly the short version was "Dust, clones, and explosives. Then they left the arena to prevent harm to the audience. Nobody complained."
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Naruto has enough chakra that I'm pretty sure he could make explosives without involving seals.
 
Perhaps we need to be a bit louder, it seems the kid's got some shit caked up into the trans-dimensional interface.
Bonus XP be damned, I've gotten at least one or two of those OOC and by thunder if I need to write a thousand Omakes to slam this into this kids head, I will.

We are under the limit.

[X] Action Plan: Tonight We Fix the Kid
Hang out with Hana, invite her to help bake cookies, whatever else Hana suggests.

e: Purpose, for voters and QM: Let Hazou hang out with his mom, we don't need to micromanage him, and he needs a break from thinking so damn hard about everything.
 
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MMKII said:
Perhaps we need to be a bit louder, it seems the kid's got some shit caked up into the trans-dimensional interface.
Bonus XP be damned, I've gotten at least one or two of those OOC and by thunder if I need to write a thousand Omakes to slam this into this kids head, I will.

(Also the extra wordcount fluff is mostly quotes)

Wordcount: 428
[X] Action Plan: Tonight We Fix the Kid

Spend FP to resist any compels.
Hazou maintains strict OPSEC despite his emotionally vulnerable state.
  • Follow Neira's suggestion (in part or in totality) but with Hana's supervision(and Mari's approval, and hopefully an escort) after a nice family dinner:
    • Beforehand and for justification: Explain to mom after dinnerthat your girlfriend just dumped your ass, that you are currently feeling the pressure of trying to stop the world from ending, you have to simultaneously train for the tournament and that your life in general has been a complete living hell for the last few weeks spent in Mist.
  • Come home, put up air domes in case of outburst. Chill in your room with Hana and reflect/vent:
  • Reflect on how your vulnerable emotional state has caused you to act like a complete jerk to your friends and family the past day.
    • "... Kagome-sensei was being a pain in the ass"
    • "Hazō glared after his Clan Head and adopted brother... "
    • "Sure, Kagome-sensei had done the research, but that was trivial..."
    • "He was the one who had initiated the plan to bring them to Leaf and therefore gotten Jiraiya the hat."
    • "Sure, Keiko had helped refine the plans, but that was trivial; they were Hazō's ideas and none of the team's success would have happened without him. "
    • Stop trivializing the people you love, and stop focusing on YOURSELF.
    • These are people that would die for you.
    • Likewise, you have just been rude and angsty to a bunch of random people.
    • You should apologize to them all for that, and fix your behavior young man.
  • Likewise, reflect on how your conversation and thought processes the other night at dinner (with respect to Tsunade) was quite frankly terrible.
    • It contradicts your current moral stance!
    • It reduces Tsunade to a political tool to be used as opposed to a an actual human being.
      • She seems to at least care about civilians as much as you do, perhaps more.
    • It affirms what Keiko was talking about: Maybe we aren't the good guys?
      • Sacrifice all the international medical work for your own goals? Hubris much?
      • At least not if we keep approaching things like that.
  • Momma, I don't know what to do!
    • Cry and vent.
  • Stop trying to hold up the entire world by yourself.
  • If you want to bring about real concrete change, you're going to have to start from within yourself.
    • "By darkness unmoved" includes your own, too.
  • Resolve to do better.
    • Because you know you can.
  • You will be a better person the next day, sad or not, breakup or not.
  • Go to bed.
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Probably long overdue tbh. Not a bad idea to have Hazou vent to Momma, but I'd be skeptical of this effecting any lasting changes to his personality. That sort of thing just doesn't happen.

...

Add cookies and you have my vote.
 
Vecht said:
Add cookies and you have my vote.
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I will direct you to the (edited in) first bulletpoint.

MMKII said:
Perhaps we need to be a bit louder, it seems the kid's got some shit caked up into the trans-dimensional interface.
Bonus XP be damned, I've gotten at least one or two of those OOC and by thunder if I need to write a thousand Omakes to slam this into this kids head, I will.

(Also the extra wordcount fluff is mostly quotes)

Wordcount: 451
[X] Action Plan: Tonight We Fix the Kid

Spend FP to resist any compels.
Hazou maintains strict OPSEC despite his emotionally vulnerable state.

  • Spend some quality time with Mom before dinner making OPSEC cookies.
    • We should have acquired the ingredients
  • Follow Neira's suggestion (in part or in totality) but with Hana's supervision(and Mari's approval, and hopefully an escort) after a nice family dinner:
    • Beforehand and for justification: Explain to mom after dinnerthat your girlfriend just dumped your ass, that you are currently feeling the pressure of trying to stop the world from ending, you have to simultaneously train for the tournament and that your life in general has been a complete living hell for the last few weeks spent in Mist.
    • We are going bar hopping.
  • Come home, put up air domes in case of outburst. Chill in your room with Hana and reflect/vent:
  • Reflect on how your vulnerable emotional state has caused you to act like a complete jerk to your friends and family the past day.
    • "... Kagome-sensei was being a pain in the ass"
    • "Hazō glared after his Clan Head and adopted brother... "
    • "Sure, Kagome-sensei had done the research, but that was trivial..."
    • "He was the one who had initiated the plan to bring them to Leaf and therefore gotten Jiraiya the hat."
    • "Sure, Keiko had helped refine the plans, but that was trivial; they were Hazō's ideas and none of the team's success would have happened without him. "
    • Stop trivializing the people you love, and stop focusing on YOURSELF.
    • These are people that would die for you.
    • Likewise, you have just been rude and angsty to a bunch of random people.
    • You should apologize to them all for that, and fix your behavior young man.
  • Likewise, reflect on how your conversation and thought processes the other night at dinner (with respect to Tsunade) was quite frankly terrible.
    • It contradicts your current moral stance!
    • It reduces Tsunade to a political tool to be used as opposed to a an actual human being.
      • She seems to at least care about civilians as much as you do, perhaps more.
    • It affirms what Keiko was talking about: Maybe we aren't the good guys?
      • Sacrifice all the international medical work for your own goals? Hubris much?
      • At least not if we keep approaching things like that.
  • Momma, I don't know what to do!
    • Cry and vent.
  • Stop trying to hold up the entire world by yourself.
  • If you want to bring about real concrete change, you're going to have to start from within yourself.
    • "By darkness unmoved" includes your own, too.
  • Resolve to do better.
    • Because you know you can.
  • You will be a better person the next day, sad or not, breakup or not.
  • Go to bed.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
 
MMKII said:
Follow Neira's suggestion (in part or in totality) but with Hana's supervision(and Mari's approval, and hopefully an escort) after a nice family dinner:
  • Beforehand and for justification: Explain to mom after dinnerthat your girlfriend just dumped your ass, that you are currently feeling the pressure of trying to stop the world from ending, you have to simultaneously train for the tournament and that your life in general has been a complete living hell for the last few weeks spent in Mist.
  • We are going bar hopping.
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Go to a bar, or a brothel, or a party. Drink yourself unconscious for a night or ten. Bed anything that you desire and will have you, whether it be girls, boys, or sheep.
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Let's maybe not follow the advice quite literally. Sheep-fucking or in fact anything-fucking is probably not the right rebound for H
 
[x] Action plan: The bar is lava

  • Hug Mama
  • Drag her to somewhere private
    • Tell her how much we missed her
    • Cry
  • Spend some quality time with Mom before dinner making OPSEC cookies.
    • We should have acquired the ingredients
  • Follow Neira's suggestions
    • Go to Ino and tell her about the breakup
    • Let her know that we are going bar hopping tonight
    • We want everyone to be there
      • The floor is still lava
 
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Anderkent said:
Let's maybe not follow the advice quite literally. Sheep-fucking or in fact anything-fucking is probably not the right rebound for H
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Gah. Fine. I will once again PG-ify the plan.


MMKII said:
Perhaps we need to be a bit louder, it seems the kid's got some shit caked up into the trans-dimensional interface.
Bonus XP be damned, I've gotten at least one or two of those OOC and by thunder if I need to write a thousand Omakes to slam this into this kids head, I will.

(Also the extra wordcount fluff is mostly quotes)

Wordcount: 470
[X] Action Plan: Tonight We Fix the Kid

Spend FP to resist any compels.
Hazou maintains strict OPSEC despite his emotionally vulnerable state.

  • Spend some quality time with Mom before dinner making OPSEC cookies.
    • We should have acquired the ingredients
  • Follow Neira's suggestion (in part or in totality) but with Hana's supervision(and Mari's approval, and hopefully an escort) after a nice family dinner:
    • Beforehand and for justification: Explain to mom after dinner that your girlfriend just dumped your ass, that you are currently feeling the pressure of trying to stop the world from ending, you have to simultaneously train for the tournament and that your life in general has been a complete living hell for the last few weeks spent in Mist.
    • We are going to scream incoherently off the top of the Hokage monument.
      • Surround ourselves in an Air Dome to not disturb the village.
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  • Noburi & Jiraiya are dead, someone is wearing the body of the latter.
  • Hana is in close proximity to Mari and neither of {Hazou, Noburi, Jiraiya} is up to control their interactions.
  • Neira doesn't think Hazou's mind would be interesting to vivisect.
  • Hazou is committing thoughtcrimes.
Joy.
MMKII said:
[X] Action Plan: Tonight We Fix the Kid
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The mental image of Hazou's Hivemind angrily ranting at him this plan creates is an extremely amusing one, but I don't think it's optimal. Core idea is good; quotes are definitely excessive. A slightly longer version of e. g. "catch up with Hana; explain your current troubles (Akane, social ineptitude, Saviour Syndrome, morality-related self-doubt) to her in the privacy of your room" would be sufficient, I think.

We also need to be ready to manage Hana/Mari interactions, because it's so not going to go well. Think Kagome vs. Jiraiya from two updates ago, except without a Mari (or even a Noburi) to calm them down.
 
Noumero said:
  • Noburi & Jiraiya are dead, someone is wearing the body of the latter.
  • Hana is in close proximity to Mari and neither of {Hazou, Noburi, Jiraiya} is up to control their interactions.
  • Neira doesn't think Hazou's mind would be interesting to vivisect.
  • Hazou is committing thoughtcrimes.
Joy.

The mental image of Hazou's Hivemind angrily ranting at him this plan creates is an extremely amusing one, but I don't think it's optimal. Core idea is good; quotes are definitely excessive. A slightly longer version of e. g. "catch up with Hana; explain your current troubles (Akane, social ineptitude, Saviour Syndrome, morality-related self-doubt) to her in the privacy of your room" would be sufficient, I think.
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On the contrary I think that no expense is too great to begin tackling this issue in unambiguous detail.
We also need to be ready to manage Hana/Mari interactions, because it's so not going to go well. Think Kagome vs. Jiraiya from two updates ago, except without a Mari (or even a Noburi) to calm them down.
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Yeah, but I dunno how to do that.

*girls freeze*

HANA: You! You bitch!

MARI: Look, I -

*HAZOU INTERRUPTUS*

HAZOU: EXCUSE ME! If you two could hash out your issues tomorrow morning politely that would be great. In the meantime, I am about to have a mental breakdown, so could we please postpone this?
 
Can we give Mari an excuse to GTFO while we drag Hana to the kitchen to make cookies?

MMKII said:
[X] Action Plan: Tonight We Fix the Kid

Spend FP to resist any compels.
Hazou maintains strict OPSEC despite his emotionally vulnerable state.

  • Spend some quality time with Mom after dinner making OPSEC cookies.
    • We should have acquired the ingredients.
    • "Why, Mari-Sensei it appears we ran out of chocolate. Would you please grab some?"
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Honestly, I thought Hazou was a pretty reasonable amount of obnoxious given the situation. And I'm glad that he tried out a bunch of coping mechanisms rather than just wallowing. Obviously realizing he's been a jerk is good, but I have faith that he will.

This was a fun chapter. I really enjoyed the montage of goofy coping, Neira was great, and I'm excited for momma times next update.

Also:

eaglejarl said:
"With anyone else, I'd say he was on a mission, but he's such a well-known kook that he might just be snoozing in some randomly-chosen civilian's attic without their knowledge."
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ROLE MODEL ALERT
I'm glad Gai has a worthy rival.
 
Anderkent said:
Let's maybe not follow the advice quite literally. Sheep-fucking or in fact anything-fucking is probably not the right rebound for H
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Click to shrink...

Hey, it was Mist who first discovered that they could prevent pregnancy by cloaking themselves in a sheep's intestine. It was only centuries later that Leaf realized that the technique still worked if you removed it from the sheep first.
 
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