Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
Emstar
The Shining One
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- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
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- She/They
I'll try to edit it down later to reduce verbosity and try to implement some of @Veedrac 's suggestions. At the very least, I think points can be compactified.
Until we get SC's or Insert Broken AF Jutsu here or Insert Seals here, I don't see much point.
@Veedrac
Note that I have changed the training section to "Have Gai run us into the fucking ground and socialize with Team Gai."
Well, what else are we going to research? We've already started on them anyway.
Until we get SC's or Insert Broken AF Jutsu here or Insert Seals here, I don't see much point.
@Veedrac
Note that I have changed the training section to "Have Gai run us into the fucking ground and socialize with Team Gai."
On the one hand, sure, it's a pretty simple idea; still, it seems like a somewhat antisocial way to fight the Nara in public - we don't want to inspire imitators. Should at least double-check it with Jiraiya for OPSEC concerns.
- Location
- UK
Just showing what my changes would do. Feel free to vote for this, but I'd rather @MMKII steals aspects.
Words: 328
[X] Action Plan: That Very Same Day, but different and more concise
Before Lunch: Discussion with Keiko
Thank her for bringing the issue forward; she has raised an important issue, and we are in a better position than ever to do something about it. Her description was worse than we imagined, and we don't have to rely on blood money.
We request a few things from Jiraiya.
Words: 328
[X] Action Plan: That Very Same Day, but different and more concise
Before Lunch: Discussion with Keiko
Thank her for bringing the issue forward; she has raised an important issue, and we are in a better position than ever to do something about it. Her description was worse than we imagined, and we don't have to rely on blood money.
- Hazō wants to get Jiraiya on board to help fix this
- Concern: Jiraiya is concerned primarily about Leaf
- Intended approach: Apply pressure; tell him that this matters to us
- Ask Jiraiya for advice
- Train with Team Gai
- +Socialize
- +Check in on Neji
- Try to get Jiraiya on board
- Primary goal: avoid genocide and slavery
- Secondary goal: slow them down
- Expansionist tendencies are an issue
- They are anathema to our ideals, and why we joined Leaf
- They are encouraging organized backlash
- OPSEC issues around Skytowers
- Politically destabilizing
- Analyse the situation
- Is this likely one or two zealots in Pangolin High Command?
- How much of this is Pantsaa?
- Is this normal? Toads' opinion would help.
- Solutions
- Political influence from Toads?
- Bargain with skytower supply?
- Direct influence from Keiko as a prominent figure?
We request a few things from Jiraiya.
- We were promised "some tricks"... can haz?
- Can Jiraiya spend time training us? Or design us a routine?
- Shadow Clones
- We suspect the Shadow Clones transfer memories (Itachi vs Naruto)
- Can we learn this, and use it for better training over the break?
- Noburi's bloodline w/ recharging gives effectively massive chakra reserves.
- Include Mari in conversation
- Get a summary of our financial situation
- Check in on seal licenses: did the Merchant council approve Hazou and Kagome?
- Hazou gives Jiraiya blanks for every seal he's ever seen, w/ any supporting background info
- Hazou makes replacement storage seals and explosive tags
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We should definitely not show off any anti-leaf counters in the tournament.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I'm going to cannibalize this later (thanks so much!)
- Location
- UK
Two more plans include aspects from by big 3. Here's Vecht's, which IIUC is intended to be stolen from, rather than voted for.
Honestly I only have a few criticisms:
[X] Straight to the Point
Overall thoughts: I like the goal, I think it's super up my alley, I appreciate not having 7 points running at the same time. We're absolutely on the same wavelength here.
Honestly I only have a few criticisms:
- The (JOKINGLY) line falls flat, and I'd rather it removed.
- Many of the details MMKII's analysis has are lacking.
- It doesn't seem to engage Jiraiya as well as MMKII's.
- It's not as compact as one might like.
[X] Straight to the Point
- Location
- Potato land
Wouldn't a delayed flashbang seal be enough? Our strategy against Shikamaru should be some variation of "Run at him and punch". So we activate the seal and do that. If we get caught, it'll free us after the timer ticks down. Should be enough.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Why are we working under the impression that Nara shadow jutsu are actually dependent on shadows for functionality rather than, similar to elemental jutsu, simply costing more for not using them?
- Location
- UK
Last up is charlesrwest's.
General thoughts: I don't like that the pangolin discussion feels sidenoted, since that's the primary reason I'm doing this. This generally seems like a prototype-y version of MMKII's plan, with a couple of exceptions:
- There is a Hana discussion. I have no real criticisms with this.
- Kei isn't around for the Jiraiya discussion, and we talk with her after. This sounds like a poor choice, IMO.
Omake: Interlude: Striking Storm
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
Interlude: Striking Storm
Shin was not having a good day. Far from the worst he'd ever had, but the worst day in months, and certainly the worst in the Chūnin Exams; the only thing that really rivaled it was the previous night, but that had ended too quickly to make the same impact.
They had been outplayed completely by their rivals in "Uplift" (he snorted derisively even thinking the name) despite all their advantages, and he would be an extremely poor ninja if he allowed his pride to sway him from admitting the truth. They'd been outclassed by the pangolins, plain and simple, and hadn't done nearly enough to counteract that. The blame wasn't all on him, or even all on his team, but that didn't change his responsibility, nor how badly he had failed it.
Sure, they had paid lip service to the idea that even a new summoner like Mori - Gōketsu, he corrected himself, dissociating her from his teammate and the loyal mist clan - would be a threat, but hadn't actually factored in what advantages she now had into his planning. He had instead treated her as though she was a normal Mori.
She might have the bloodline, but it was clear that the main source of Team Uplift's strength was their new father Jiraiya and the resources he supplied. That was the main mistake he and Anna had made the night before; they'd planned too much for the capabilities of Team Uplift personally without fully considering the summons and seals the Hokage had equipped his adopted clan with. Now, his team was paying for it alongside practically everyone else. His ears hurt like hell, and even simply walking was painful. Shin didn't want to imagine what it would be like to fight at ninja speeds, but forced himself to do so anyway. If he allowed this to stop him short, any real fight for his life would be a death sentence.
The more Shin considered the prospects for the coming round, the worse things looked. The Gōketsu would be restricted by being on defense, but given the options they had to mitigate that and the sheer combat power they had displayed before, he couldn't be confident it would be enough. The pangolins would allow them to at least partly ignore the limitations oh how far from the base they could project power, despite Mist proctors watching them like a flock of chakra-hawks to prevent any attempts to step out of line. No, official meddling wouldn't save them this round, not after it had failed so miserably last round with what had to be close to the best attempt Mist could make. No group of 9 ninja remaining in the exams would be able to outright beat a group as skilled as Uplift when backed by multiple combat summons and seals from Jiraiya of the Sannin to prepare the terrain....
Wait, 9 ninja? That was worth thinking through further. Learning from your mistakes was important, after all, and Uplift has proved conclusively that following the letter but not the spirit could be a winning strategy. Turning from his pacing, Shin called out to his team.
"Anna, Kiri, I have an idea I'd like to run past you guys."
He waited a bit, but none of them turned to look at them. Instinctively, his eyes swept the room for trouble as he tensed, but then it hit him. Half calling and half yelling, he repeated his request, and rummaged around for some paper. There would be no stealthy verbal communication, not with their hearing shot to hell.
It had taken several hours of planning, but they had most of strategy worked out despite the need to write down everything they wanted to communicate while brainstorming. At first, they had tried to plan around a team that consisted of almost every other ninja, with allowances for a few that decided to try their own luck, but thankfully Kiri had caught them before he and Anna could go too far down that rabbit hole and pointed out that the Blue teams would be under the same mobility limitations as Hazō and crew.
Thankfully, the Red teams this round were loaded with some of the best combat teams still in the Exams, so while victory wasn't nearly as certain, they could still remain confident of having superior firepower.
Before they could put it into action, however, Anna had insisted they go talk to the Nara-led Leaf squad. With his brains onside, Anna was certain she could entirely out-think whatever Gōketsu Hazō and Keiko managed to put together. Shin could see the value as well as she could, and the Leaf team would be a sizable enough portion of the group's firepower that it would be foolish not to get them onside regardless; that they could further optimize matters was simply an added bonus, albeit a significant one. It didn't hurt that their team had been the only one to evade Uplift's wrath last round, even if it hadn't been in straight combat.
Nara hadn't been the easiest to convince, and had required the give up some of their hard-earned word halves to get his assistance in planning, but the results spoke for themselves. A simple, elegant strategy to make the most of the resources they had available, that was easily alterable to take into account unforeseen circumstances or changes, such as teams refusing to sign on or losses to pangolin ambush.
Truth be told, Shin was a little intimidated. Their team was no slouch at planning, and had laid a lot of the groundwork going in, but watching Anna and Nara go at it had been disconcerting even if he had been able to follow most of their logic. It made him glad that Gōketsu Keiko had the issues she did, and seemed to have little interest in seriously expanding the Mori bloodline to future generations. Even if that changed it probably wouldn't be a strategically significant factor until after he retired, but his successors and their peers would be in for a hell of a ride if they ever came to blows with Fire country.
"A chance to get back at those bastards? Hell yes, I'm in. I'm gonna teach those assholes not to mess with me. Especially Hazō; it's personal with him. I want to see the plan, but if whatever you and Mori cooked up is as good as you claim there shouldn't be any issues at all. "
"I'm glad to have you onboard, Touma," Shin replied, mentally noting that he'd have to watch this one for recklessness. He moved his face into an expression of genuine gratitude, and made sure to modulate his tone to fulfill the same purpose. It was harder at this greater volume, with him having to guess exactly how Touma's hearing would be affected, but doing so on the fly was good practice and not too far out of his wheelhouse. "Having you and your lightning aura onside will be extremely helpful to disable them quickly, since the longer they stay up the more their seals become a factor."
That made 11 agreed, 3 rejections, and 4 who wanted to wait and see how much support they could garner. Given that those in agreement would be able to pressure their team, that was probably going to be enough to get a fairly large "Super Team Red" to go after Gōketsu next round. Operational security might not even be a complete bust, given that the Gōketsu had spend the afternoon in their rooms before heading down very early to eat. They'd made sure to have all the conversations out of earshot or plausible enhanced earshot, even factoring in the increased volume, so while Shin wouldn't count on them staying unaware, the odds weren't that bad all things considered. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, as it were, and Shin felt plenty confident hoping for a plausible best case scenario he didn't even need.
Unfortunately, that was all he could really do at the moment. Most of the rest of his targets for recruitment were either still hidden away, like the Hyūga girl and her team, or were already at the mess hall like the team from Hidden Rock he was still looking to bring onside. Planning was done aside from details that needed to be ironed out last minute for optimal performance, and there was no need to try and influence team distribution when he knew the proctors would be doing that for him.
Sometimes, you just had to accept that a situation was good enough, even if it wasn't perfect, and in any case they still needed to eat. His teammates were probably just as hungry as he was, and the same went for the other Super Team Red nin. Irritability and crankiness were not his allies now that they'd served the purpose of uniting the contestants, and so while Team Uplift's injuries had made such emotions inevitable to an extent, he had no need to pile on any more. No, best to grab a bite to eat, and get another look at how their rivals were doing.
Before he could say as much, however, Kiri spoke up, putting voice to that same thought. Whoever she'd been speaking to last had not gotten off very lightly, and her volume reflected that; it was almost painfully loud, and if he hadn't had the Iron Nerve he would probably have cringed at least.
"Let's just grab a bite to eat. Everyone will be available after dinner, and hungry people make mistakes. Besides, if we wait too much longer, we probably won't be able to get seats."
______________________________________________________________________________
Things were going fine, Shin had thought. Nothing would go wrong, Shin had thought. Well, now he knew perfectly what his cousin had been talking about when she warned him not to tempt fate.
Things had even started out pretty well. Team Uplift had sensibly secured an isolated corner, since almost the entire room had been united in anger against them. Even most of not taking the night before personally could get behind hating Leaf, and anyone who wasn't caught up in the last two categories would generally go along with the peer consensus. The atmosphere had been hostile enough to definitively solidify the group against them, but not so angry that they risked a crucial member of Super Team Red actually going on the attack and getting penalized or disqualified.
As the bulk of the meal came to a close, however, everything went downhill. In a move that had to be practiced - because there was no way Gōketsu Noburi and Keiko could have pulled it off so flawlessly otherwise without the Iron Nerve, but what did it say about their rivals that they had time to practice this? - all three Gōketsu strode up onto their table. A Rock nin nearby said something whiny. He was out of the tournament, he barely mattered at this point, and Shin tuned him out as his eyes focused on the trio. All around him, he could feel the rest of the mess hall do the same.
"Listen up!" Three voices called out in unison, pitched to carry despite the hearing damage. It almost sounded like a normal call to attention despite how much difficulty he and the others had been having earlier getting volume right. Conversation came to a complete halt, and anyone who hadn't been paying attention before were doing so now. The stunt would have gotten attention regardless, his included, but after last night no one was going to risk ignoring Uplift. Some people might be preparing for a conflict, but they definitely wouldn't be taking their eyes off the rabid Acid-Tusked Chakra Beaver in the room.
After pausing for a second, Gōketsu Hazō, wearing a poker face shin swore he recognized it from Auntie Ren in her no-nonsense mode, broke the silence. "It has come to our attention," he stated matter-of-factly, "that some of you might be considering teaming up against us in the next round."
Without pause, the thread moved to Noburi, who continued it. "Now, as much fun as that might be," Noburi said, and while he wasn't as serious as Hazō was he was definitely commanding attention, "we want to suggest you think twice about it."
Shin minutely turned back to Hazō, but to his surprise (hidden behind "I am paying attention but am in control") it was Keiko who picked up the slack. It made some sense, but he hadn't expected her to be so forceful a public speaker. "We have enough points to reach the tournament. After the escort mission we led the Exams. Many of you went to a great deal of trouble to sink our score during the fourth event. We responded by destroying you in the first round of the fifth, thereby restoring the balance."
All three members moved their heads in unnerving synchronization, and in the privacy of his own mind Shin had to admit that he was somewhat impressed, though of course it would have been child's play for the Kurosawa.
"You," Keiko said, pointing to a group of Rock ninja two tables away. "You tried to ambush us from underground. We dropped you in a pit and you woke up in a cell." Shin didn't know their names, but they were definitely still in the tournament, and judging by the way they were wilting they had sliced heels as well. This almost certainly wasn't a fake, then; it wasn't likely in any case, but it paid to pay attention.
"You. Your lightning aura has made you lazy." Hazō said, pointing across the room at the person Shin had just gotten out of a conversation with. They probably didn't know who would be on Super Team Red, then, just that it was in planning. "Your taijutsu is pathetic. Your fundamentals are weak, your footwork is sloppy, and you telegraph your kicks. Which is why I put you on the floor in under ten seconds."
"You," Noburi said, gesturing with his chin towards Akihiro. "You're slow. You didn't even start to dodge before I slammed you into my Mantle and beat you like a rented drum." Shin watched Akihiro flinch as the words hit home, and knew he wasn't alone in seeing it. He wouldn't describe Akihiro as broken, but the confidence was certainly no longer there. The plan hadn't relied on him being an effective combatant, but this was very much not a good sign.
"You," Keiko said, her voice reminiscent of Anna in the deepest part of the Mori ice. She was pointing at her own target, a girl who's name Shin thought started with Hi? Hikaru, maybe? "You failed to notice me at all, and I took you down with a single throw. The only challenging part was deciding if your thick head meant that I needed to throw harder." She stared the poor girl down as if sizing up a cut of meat. Shin had never figured out for sure if it was because of the clan's culture or their bloodline directly, but he knew firsthand that the Mori could be slip into being disconcertingly scary, even when they weren't trying to do so, and he didn't envy Keiko's target.
"And after we destroyed you, I made sure that you could barely hear," Hazō continued the cycle, this time speaking to the participants as a whole rather than as individuals.
"I made sure that you could barely walk."
"And my pangolins made you eat dirt." Keiko said- no, finished. There was a pause, as though for reply, but his rivals had to know that none would be forthcoming; that setup couldn't be an accident. They were watching the crowd for responses and reactions, not seriously planning for interruption. As far as attempts at demoralization went, this one was pretty good. They'd be losing some people over this, and others would be much more cautious in their approach. Not enough to sink things, but a serious issue for certain.
"Some among you may not know our history," Keiko began, after it had sunk in but before the silence could break. "This is an error on your part."
"We were born in Mist," Hazō said, presumably for emphasis. If anyone here didn't know at least that much, there weren't worth the breath it took to explain.
"We left and repatriated ourselves to Leaf," Noburi continued with almost no pause.
"We lived two years in the wilderness before Leaf was able to publicly accept us," said Keiko. She broke the chain slightly, but he doubted many others noticed or cared. "More than five hundred nights in the wild. We have killed more chakra beasts than any of you have ever heard of. In total, we have faced off against three to four dozen enemy nin, including several jōnin."
"Most of those nin are now bones in the dirt." Hazō's voice was frigid, much like Keiko's had been earlier. All told, the boast was an exaggeration, for sure, but probably not an outright lie unless Hazō and Keiko had been hiding some serious deception chops. Their traitorous adopted mother and their mysterious 'uncle' had likely been responsible for much of it, but the kernel of truth was that they had entered those fights, and stood here alive.
Noburi laughed, and his voice lost the humor that it had previously held. That wasn't normal for Wakihasa, at least from his experience with his teammate; that was probably a trick he picked up in the wilds, and not from his clan. "Most of the chakra beasts and several of the ninja died on our camp's defenses while we sipped tea and took bets on when the next blast would come."
"Our Hokage was very clear about the fact that we are not allowed to kill you," Keiko said. "I found this irritating." She crossed her arms over her chest and gained an unreadable expression. 'Hokage', and not 'father', Shin noted. Whether that was a reminder of Jiraiya's position or a lack of familial affection Shin didn't have enough info to do more than speculate, but perhaps he'd gain the pieces he needed when Downfall met up with Uplift after the exams.
Keiko continued. "It is tremendously simpler to defend a position when allowed to use traps that cut an attacker's head in half, or blow them across the field in a shower of bloody meat."
"Still," Hazō said, bringing his hands together like a businessman summarizing a deal he knows he can close. "We've put some thought in. Even if we can't use our favorites, we've got plenty of fun toys for you to come tiptoeing through in the next round."
"Don't worry," Noburi said. "There's good news. The Hokage told us that injuring you further would complicate his political goals slightly. He said that we should try not to injure anyone too much more."
"This is inconvenient. I had wanted to send my pangolins into the forest to crush all the Red teams and bring them back to our cells. It would have given us a ridiculous margin of victory." Keiko's lip crinkled into something like a sneer. "However, given his request, I will keep them at our base."
"So that's what you're facing," Noburi said. "A base built by a trio of former missing-nin who made the wilderness their bitch for two straight years."
"Reinforced by a sealmaster," Hazō stated.
"And surrounded by monsters from beyond time and space, who tossed you around like children's toys last time," Keiko added on, completing the trifecta of their boast.
"Face it," Hazō half said, half shouted. "None of you are good enough to beat us. If you're too cowardly to face that truth, feel free to come at us again. We've got plenty of tea, and the sound of idiots running into the perimeter is very relaxing."
Mercifully, they left it at that, but looking around the room people were taking them far too seriously for Shin's taste. Just next to him, he heard a team plan to let him know about their withdrawal from the combined team, and as the mess hall doors swung shut behind the trio Shin watched the entire afternoon's plan fall apart before his eyes.
- Location
- Potato land
The story Shikaku told Hazou about some Nara developing a high luminosity jutsu and then working on a counter for 3 years implies that the shadows do indeed matter. It also implies the Nara have a counter, albeit not necessarily one that would be taught to a Genin.
From a game balance perspective, the Nara shadow techniques would be ridiculous without any limitations. They're basically one hit kills as is.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
From a game balance perspective it's just Jutsu vs Athletics.
- Location
- UK
@QTesseract Nice interlude. I spotted a few typos if you want the copyedits.
"mist" should be capitalized.
"limitations on"
The space after the period should be removed.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
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- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Errrrr...it is? I don't mean to seem like we're bait-and-switching, but we did not even discuss canonizing in the PM thread, and I know that at least one QM said [EDIT: in QM chat] he would prefer not to canonize it. Am I forgetting / misunderstanding something?
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- Location
- Potato land
@QTesseract but where are the Negaverse Quest reactions? I was ready for lots of salt about the QMs cheating and preemptively countering the players' plan.
I know I asked for this, but when I look at this line, and consider that it's @Velorien writing the next update, I get very uneasy.
Jutsu that ignores stress, armor and basically ends the fight when it hits.
I know I asked for this, but when I look at this line, and consider that it's @Velorien writing the next update, I get very uneasy.
Jutsu that ignores stress, armor and basically ends the fight when it hits.
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Unfortunate if it isn't.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Somewhere out there, Velorien is overcome with an inexplicable urge to laugh maniacally.
It's inconvenient, really, as he's trying to sleep.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
- Location
- Potato land
Nah, just joking around. Honestly, how bad could it be?