- Location
- Yes.
Change it to "they died trying" and we're golden.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
It's not so much dying that's the problem so much as if we live forever, we ain't fighting, and if we die, it'll likely be at the hands of someone so much better than us that most of the combat system can go completely unused because they just dominate us by that much.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Just as I feared. We get to the point that we can fight jounin and then people start being afraid of randomly getting ambushed by S-rank nins
- Location
- Yes.
To be fair we already have been ambushed by S-rank nins before.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Which lead to us becoming the Hokage favorite child. So worked out really well.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
I'm pretty sure his favorite kid is Naruto.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
But, like, once you get to S-class you end up living a hell of a long time, or trivially winning all your fights. Most fights shouldn't be desperate, tense, affairs on the way there, because you generally don't fight people on the exact level required to push you to the maximum.
Also, we can barely fight chunin right now, don't know where you're getting the idea of fighting jonin. That one takedown was thanks to a hell of a lot of luck, surprise, and first mover advantage.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The average chunnin has 40 combat dice. Hazō after he trains will have 47 combat dice. So we basically auto win all those fights if we can sit the range which thanks to PMYF we can. On top that Kei can summon Jounin level combatants to help her. We also know that 300 chakra points is a respectable amount for a jounin so Noburi can currently drain one in 15 seconds. On top of that we have skywalkers which let us No-sell any short or mid range fighters while we rain down explosives on them. So yeah we can win almost every fight against non s-rank opponents.
- Location
- Yes.
Let Jiraiya do all the work? I mean...it's Jiraiya. The Hokage. Who's already pledged his word to get Momma out.
Why do we have to be the ones to do this thing? For a personal sense of accomplishment?
Edit: I mean seriously. Mist might have gotten fucked but it's still a Hidden Village.
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Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
We're out here already, we have familiarity with the lay of the land that any other Leaf nin sent wouldn't (though Jiraiya might try to convince Mari to come out on one last mission with us to help us out in that regard), we have clearance for Skywalkers (while using them in the expatriation attempt might reveal them, that's the case either way, whereas revealing them to other Leaf nin is not entirely ideal).
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
because all of Jiraiya's political capital and most of his agents will be dealing with rescuing Naruto. He's not in a position to extract another missing nin
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
40 is more typical of a fresh chuunin, if I'm remembering the statistics correctly
- Location
- Yes.
Um, what? AFAIK Noburi, Keiko, and Hazou haven't ever left Mist before the mission; they spent months (??) inside the village doing menial labor, then got sent on the Noodle Mission. That's not "familiarity with the lay of the land".
We have clearance to use them for a courier mission. Not for an infiltration/extraction mission, which we are not equipped for.
Clarification: I don't think we need to "extract" Hana (i.e., go there and get her). I think we just need Hana to extract herself, which Jiraiya can do with minimal effort.
I'd imagine that, if Jiraiya were as dumb as me, he'd tap into one of his agents in the Land of Water to send Hana a message of our existence/Leaf-nin status, and she'd (Hana) go missing-nin; ideally Hana would get an out-of-village mission for sentry duty/assassination/etc. and just...disappear. This would be the safer way for Jiraiya to 'extract' Hana, since it costs him little to do and only has a low risk of failure (i.e., Hana/the contact gets caught).
Obviously there are flaws to the plan (how does the message convince Hana?) but if I could conceive of such a plan in the 5-10 minutes typing this response, I'm sure Konoha's legendary spymaster/Sannin/Hokage could do better.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Yeah we are mostly on the same page. I don't think we should extract Hana from mist. What I want to do is keep an eye out for her while we are in the mist sphere of influence since she might get sent on a mission there. If we do happen to find her it would be much easier to make contact since she is already out of the village.
Speaking of which @eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail are there any henges that Hazō would have used around Hana that she might recognize?
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
Honestly, the most powerful confirmation that we likely have is the childhood flute tune. Speaking of which, do we have our flute on us right now?
- Location
- Yes.
Alright, just ask Jiraiya if we can send the information to some of his contacts in the Land of Water (read: not Mist-the-city), and have those contacts send messages into fellow contacts in Mist-the-city. This way we can not only justify (to Minami) going to the Land of Water, we can also ensure an eye is kept on Hana even after we leave.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
No reason we wouldn't, so I'd assume so. Honestly, I just really want that scene of Hazou playing the coming home song to Hana...
e:
I thought it was 40 for a solid Chuunin, 50 for a solid Jounin, and 60 for an experienced Jounin?
e2: This is because, IIRC, we adjusted the numbers that we shoot for to 60 because going for equivalent skills of our likely opponent is a poor decision.
e3: Found the quote, I was wrong:
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- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hazō had no reason to disguise himself in front of his own mother.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
So never practiced henge with her?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Sigh. At least he's had training under Kagome, now, and knows better.
Chapter 136: Game On, Noburi
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"So...right across, huh?"
Hazō carefully did not laugh at the intensely doubtful tone in his squad leader's voice.
They had arrived on the beach at eleven in the morning, and everyone was glad to be out of the demon-spawned desert. It was nice to see water again, even if it wasn't drinkable. For that matter, it was nice to see anything except flat land made of dirt and scrub. They had lucked into a small oasis near the beach; a minor spring came up out of the ground and flowed down to rejoin its parent ocean. Around the spring sprouted a minor profusion of greenery, the first visual break from yellow and red that the team had had for a week.
"Yep," he said. "Don't worry, it's only about five hours. Just keep an eye behind you in case one of the megalodons tries to eat us again."
"Megalodons?"
"Giant fish," Noburi volunteered. "Very roughly the size of that house we were staying in back in Leaf, mouth big enough to swallow our whole group in one go. Waaaaay too many teeth."
Minami eyed him doubtfully. "Are you messing with me?"
"No, he is not," Keiko said. "We were attacked by one the last time we attempted this crossing." She paused just long enough to be cruel. "Of course, we were crossing farther up where the distance was much shorter. We will be on the water more than twice as long this time."
"I see." Minami eyed the gently-rolling waves with a more respectful look. "Anything else I should be aware of?"
"Sky squids," Kagome said. "They like to come down for a dip sometimes."
"Okay, now I know you're messing with me. There's no—"
"Yes, there are," chorused Keiko, Hazō, and Noburi. Kagome just looked offended.
"Told her I'd be a good soldier," Kagome mumbled, turning away. "Good soldiers don't lie to their commanders, do they? Noooo, they do not. Have I been a good soldier? Yes, I have. Does she believe me? Noooo. No trust. You try to kill someone one time...."
"All right, all right," Minami said. "Kagome, I'm sorry I doubted you. Tell me about these things."
"The one we saw was...maybe three meters long?" Hazō said. "Kagome-sensei said that it was a small one."
"You can tell because it didn't drop any lupchanzen," Kagome-sensei said helpfully.
"Lupchanzen?"
"Half animal, half plant. Likes to crawl in an orifice, migrate to your head, eat your brain, and run your body like a meat puppet. Smart, can use any jutsu you know once they've puppeted you long enough."
She eyed him dubiously. "How do you know about these things?"
"Spent a few years in crypto, Black Two clearance. Saw the report. Same pile as sky squids, so I know it was real."
She continued to eye him dubiously. "Okay, I'm just going to put that in the 'ask about this later when we aren't on a scramble-priority mission' pile. Right now we need to get across this stupid ocean."
"Technically, it's an inlet," Keiko said.
"Fine. We need to get across this inlet. We were told to conserve skywalkers so we'll have to do it on foot. Anything to do other than drink more chakra water and then run like demons are on our heels?"
"I need to refill my barrel," Noburi said, slinging the offending object off his back and proceeding to rummage in the pouch at his belt. He pulled out a wooden box, flipped it open, and ruffled through the stack of storage seals inside. "Here we go," he said, pulling one out. Moments later his barrel was full again, courtesy of several of the many waterskins that had been stored in the box in the storage seal.
"I'll also need to stock up on chakra," he said. "There's not a lot of critters around, though. Won't be quick."
"Fine," Minami said, slinging her pack off. "Executive decision: we're standing down for the day. Wakahisa, you stock up, we'll cross after breakfast tomorrow. Drain from the water; we'll eat whatever dies. Mori, go with him and watch his back while he's doing it. Kurosawa, make us a shelter, something discreet. Kagome, secure the perimeter. Ishihara, dig a firepit and unseal one of the hibachi." She laughed. "Gotta say, it's way easier traveling with a pair of sealsmiths and being able to store hibachi that are already full of hot coals. I'll start putting tonight's report together."
"Actually, that brings up something I—we—wanted to tell you," Hazō said.
Minami suddenly looked wary. "Is this going to be a problem?"
"Hazō was careful to ask us about it already," Keiko said. "While you were in Sand we discussed whether it would be problematic."
"Conversations behind my back. I see."
"No, not like that!" Hazō protested. "I just...I wanted to bring this up, but after causing all that trouble last time I needed to get a second opinion to make sure I wouldn't be stepping in it again."
"Mm-hm. Well, spit it out."
"You know that we're from Mist," Hazō said cautiously. "Our mission ends in Sky, which isn't too far off. Once we're done I'd like to circle back and spend some time looking around to get an idea of how things stand. My mother is still there and I want to get her out, so I'm hoping we'll find a way to get a message to her. Jiraiya is onboard with getting her out, or at least trying to, since that was one of our conditions for joining Leaf. I'd like to get your okay, and in tonight's report I'd like to send back a note explaining it so that he has the chance to order us home if he wants. Also, we all want to send back a note to Mari-sensei, just to say hi and tell her we miss her. Any objections to any of that?"
She thought about it. "Sending the report to the Hokage and the note to your sensei is fine," she said. "I don't like the idea of spying on Mist, though. We aren't infiltrators and we don't hit hard enough to deal with a serious fight if they catch us."
"How about just asking around among the local civilians?" Hazō asked. "That should let us find out how much food they're importing, how often and how far their ninja are traveling, and probably other stuff."
"Trade analysis could be useful, not just to us but to Leaf," Keiko said. "If we know what commodities Mist needs, Leaf could better carry out a strategy of economic warfare. The Land of Water is lacking most natural resources but has accumulated a large population due to the power of its ninja village. With so many people to feed and clothe, Mist is forced to import much of its needs. If Leaf can interfere with that trade it could bring Mist to its knees without ever hurling a kunai."
She thought about that. "Spying still seems risky. Why are you insisting on doing it yourselves if the Hokage has already said he'd take care of it?"
"He didn't," Hazō said. "He said he'd try. He's not going to be able to for a while, though."
"Why not?"
Hazō shifted uncomfortably. "I can't say."
"Clan secret?"
"Not...exactly. Classified, I think? Remember when we all got assigned this mission, he told the five of us to not say anything about some information? This is that information."
"Hm." She thought about that. "I'll put an explanation of this in tonight's report. If he explicitly authorizes the mission then we'll do it. Otherwise, we head straight back to Leaf after delivering the last of the messages."
"Thank you!" Hazō said.
"Don't thank me until he authorizes it. In the meantime, everyone get to your chores."
o-o-o-o
Akane might have been the one to dig the firepit, but Hazō had insisted on cooking lunch.
"Here you go, Noburi," Hazō said, sprinkling a last pinch of spice over the steaming-hot bowl of stir fry before handing it to his teammate.
"Thanks," Noburi said, eagerly spooning up some of the delicious-smelling food. One of the nice things about traveling with sealsmiths; there were enough storage seals that it was easy to carry a full array of cooking herbs and spices. Fresh-cooked food was way better than trail bars.
"You're welcome." Hazō waited just a moment before adding, "By the way, relabeling all my scrolls was a pretty funny prank."
Noburi promptly spat out the mouthful he had barely even tasted and hurried to rinse his mouth clean.
"Something wrong with the food?" Hazō asked innocently.
"No, it's fine," Noburi said. "Stomach's a little wobbly, that's all. I think I'll just have a trail bar."
o-o-o-o
Deserts are, by definition, full of dirt and sand. Running through them at ninja speeds meant that the entire team had grit in their teeth, in their hair, and across every inch of exposed skin. With the fresh-water stream available it was possible for the first time in days to get a bath. Minami had been adamant that the camp not be left undefended, despite the formidable array of defenses Kagome had established. ("Hmph. I suppose it'll do, as long as we aren't attacked by anything bigger than a mouse." "You've put out two hundred explosive tags!" "Well, I didn't have time for a proper perimeter, now did I, Du—Captain Minami?")
"Boys first, then girls," Minami said. "Boys, don't take too long."
"Cool," Hazō said. "Oh, Noburi, I noticed that you're running low on soap. I've got an extra block if you want it. Good quality, not too harsh."
"...I'm good, thanks."
o-o-o-o
Given their success at 'hunting' for lunch, Minami sent Keiko and Noburi out again to find dinner. ("Standard protocol is to not touch your reserves unless necessary for operational security.") Having cleaned out the nearby tide pools, the two young ninja had to journey somewhat further afield for this hunt. By the time they returned the sun was on the horizon and they both looked tired.
"Water?" Akane asked, holding out a chilled canteen to each of them.
"Thank you," Keiko said, raising the canteen to her lips as Noburi accepted his.
Akane's eyes suddenly got wide. "Keiko, wait! That's the wrong one! That canteen was for Noburi!"
Keiko paused, then lowered the canteen and eyed Akane carefully. "Why is it important which canteen we each drink from?"
"Erm...." Akane fidgeted. "Hazō asked me to give that one to Noburi."
Keiko raised an eyebrow. "I see." Silently, she turned and held out the canteen to Noburi.
"I'm good, thanks," Noburi said nervously. He carefully set down the canteen that Akane had handed him. "I've got some of my own, actually. It's not cold, but that's fine. No problem. Excuse me." He hurried off towards the firepit, leaving the two girls in his wake.
Keiko watched him go, then turned to Akane.
"There's nothing wrong with the water, is there?"
Blinding smile. "Nope."
"Excellent."
XP AWARD: 6
This update covered 2 days but most of the XP for this plan had previously been awarded.
Notes:
- In the plan you said to check with Akane if she minded you discussing her ability to make ice, and to tell Minami if Akane said it was okay. Akane is not considering Elemental Mastery or her ability to make ice a secret. She had already used the jutsu in front of Minami; cf Hazō giving Noburi a canteen back at the start of chapter 132 and Noburi asking if Akane had chilled it.
- You also said to ask Minami if Jiraiya had given you any extra information. You were with her the whole time when the orders came in, so you heard what she was told. She was given a briefing packet which she has shared with you. Keiko also raided the Nara library for a cursory overview of the area you would be traveling through. Between these sources you have a basic summary of weather and international relations, as well as skimpy maps of the various countries you'll be passing through.
- Your crossing of the Hanguri Gulf was uneventful.
- You sent your report to Jiraiya but have not heard back yet.
- You have made all your stops in Tea and are now in Noodle.
Voting ends on Wednesday, June 21, 2017, at 12pm London time.
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- Location
- Yes.
Please confirm?