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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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As pissed off as I am at Jiraiya right now, he did kinda remove one of the worst aspects of Akane sticking with us: being continued to be thought of as a missing nin by everyone she knows. Now, regardless of what she chooses, her loved ones knows she is alive and not a traitor.

@Velorien @eaglejarl Did we have our group discussions about the rewards? I'd really like to know what everyone was thinking before we ask about them, especially the one about Hazou's mom.
 
faflec said:
Yeah, Orochimaru didn't invade Konoha and so had no reason to keep Kabuto at such a pathetic rank. Canon!Kabuto threw the exams constantly to stay out of the spotlight. MfD!Kabuto wants to be in the spotlight for the additional power that comes with it.
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In canon Kabuto threw seven exams. This is a more dramatic change than you credit it, for one it is directly contrary to Roots modus operandi to be so well known.
 
faflec said:
We need to prank him.

We need to all buy green spandex.
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Hazō: Minder-sama, I'd like to go and buy the team a full set of green spandex.

Minder-sama: Oh, god, they told us it might spread to those without immunity. Get the chakra flamethrower!

faflec said:
@Velorien @eaglejarl What's the date, and how long until Keiko's birthday? On a related note, how long until Akane recovers?
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It is April 1st, and Keiko's birthday is June 3rd.

You do not yet know how long it will take for Akane to recover, and in fact have yet to confirm her survival.

ChronOblivion said:
@Velorien @eaglejarl Did we have our group discussions about the rewards? I'd really like to know what everyone was thinking before we ask about them, especially the one about Hazou's mom.
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Unless I'm much mistaken, that discussion wasn't part of the plan, so no, that hasn't happened yet.
 
MadScientist said:
IIRC, Kabuto was a ROOT spy that Orochimaru turned at some point during his "fail exams to stay as a genin forever" phase.
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I believe Orochimaru turned Kabuto prior to his exam-failing phase. Which would make sense since Danzō wouldn't need a special spy in the Chūnin Exams, and even if he did, not to the point of putting in an agent with Kabuto's experience.
 
Okay, so here's some of the stuff I was throwing around earlier with more ramblings from me and some ideas thrown by other people. I'll probably make a plan out of this unless someone gets in before me.

Reward priority list:
  1. Full healing for Akane
    • Free!
    • Reinstatement comes with a full medical!
  2. Medical training for Nobby
    • Didn't we already have an agreement about this?
    • Do you want us to get killed?
  3. Information on our families in Mist
    • Is mom still in active duty? Prisoner? Alive?
    • Whatever the others want to know
  4. Free Pass to cross Fire borders
    • Half free?
    • Either Akane is with us, or we need to come and see her
  5. MechApt specialization for Akane
    • She needs something to pass the time
    • Get a tutor and reading material
  6. New Sealcraft for Kagome and Hazou
    • We showed you ours, now show us yours!
    • Priority on Kagome
    • Hazou specific sealcraft requests:
      • Deep approach
        • Heavy specialization
        • Everything Jiraya has on storage scrolls
      • Wide approach
        • Low-to-med utility stuff
        • Examples in order of priority
          1. Communication devices
          2. Advanced alarm seals
          3. SCBA
          4. Night vision
          5. Eye/ear protection
          6. Sound muffling seals
  7. Mist generation jutsu for Nobby and Mari
    • Or just Mari if Nobby is busy
  8. Earth Jutsu for Hazou
    • Didn't you agree to this last time?
    • Hazou has room for two 10 dice jutsu, we need something good and rare
    • Tunneling jutsu
      • Personal combat tunneling
      • Tunnel building for out of combat
    • Sensory jutsu
    • Taijutsu booster
We could argue that things that make us stronger also make us more useful, so they should not count as proper rewards.


General duties for team members
  • Akane
    • Get better
    • Resolve whether she wants to leave or stay Sorry, apparently your input is not required
    • If able, read MechApt specialization books and get tutored
  • Noburi
    • Med-nin Intern Quest
  • Mari
    • Socialize with the older Leaf ninjas
    • Ply her trade
    • Plow some jounin
    • You know, Mari stuff
  • Kagome
    • Learn new Sealing stuff!
    • I'm sure they have a library an old grumpy man we can poke with a stick somewhere
    • I doubt Kagome is the first insane sealmaster they have enterntained
  • Hazou + Keiko
    • The new Team Talky
    • Make nice with the younger Leaf ninjas: "So, did you see the chuunin exams? How was it?"
    • Hit the library for non-restricted stuff (law, management, history, urban planning etc.)
    • Talk to civilians
    • Find out how Leaf works
    • Learn Socialism!
How to deal with our minders:
  • Opportunities
    • Social contacts
    • Information about Leaf
    • Social combat practice
  • Threats
    • They kill us
    • They get killed (most likely culprit: Kagome)
    • They get more info on us (this will happen no matter how well we do)
    • Reputation loss (this is also pretty much guaranteed to happen)
My guess is that they are going to give us a high genin or low chuunin team specialized in social combat. Meaning, we would cream them in a fight, but since that is off the table, we probably won't beat their socials unless we get lucky. Good training though.

Thoughts?
 
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Ridiculously Average Guy said:
Does Hazou know where his bloodline sprouted from? And, if so, could he go talk to some Uchiha or something?
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Apart from the kids, there are no Uchiha left. There's probably scrolls with information but I doubt the emotional teenaged Uchiha "clan head" would let Hazou have a real conversation with them, unless we happen to have Uchiha Itachi's corpse in a storage scroll or something.
 
OliWhail said:
Presumably for scorch squads to be effective they need to be fairly preemptive in their efforts - if you only kill people off after there are more of them, the enemy gets to take in some additional ninja children.
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Yeah, but remember that we really don't know anything about their operations aside from conjecture and Kagome ramblings. We need to find out more.

Cariyaga said:
e: Also, I think we need a name slightly more imposing than Team: Uplift tbh.
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I don't think we should aim for an intimidating name, especially considering we're actually trying to make life less intimidatey.
Dictator4Hire said:
Hazou cannot just whip out the blueprints for a flying fortress of death at a moment's notice once we, the hivemind, have actually crunched all of the numbers involved for him beforehand. Furthermore, no one else will have any idea what Hazou is talking about if we use too much terminology from our universe like our standards of measurement, established construction protocols, building codes, etc.

None of these uplift plans can come to fruition without a more formal education beyond 'punch the bad guy in the face, learn enough to read to read your mission scroll, and obey your kage'. I'm not saying that we should spend months sequestered away in some dusty old library until we have had Hazou read every book in the building, but to at least throw the kid a bone. Hazou is smart, especially for a thirteen year old, but how many of us could think up a floating city design in our heads and remember it vividly enough to implement flawlessly?

We need plausible means before we can do anything fancy. Improvised novelty seals are one thing, but Hidden Heaven (with a feudal level tech base to start with!) is another.

Libraries are the most likely place for us to logically start our characters on the path of self-improvement beyond violence. While we are there we could also look into any interesting events in recorded history to see if anyone else tried to help civilians, how they tried to go about doing it, and the aftermath of their endeavors. We could also learn basic ninja protocols so we don't embarrass ourselves like we did in Hot Springs when we didn't even know that jonin from different countries will help each other if it means defending a DMZ.

Can we please prioritize going to a library once we have some spare time? I feel like the benefits outweigh the minuscule risk tremendously so long as we don't poke our noses into any forbidden sections of a ninja library (if MfD has such things and they are publicly available).

One step at a time people; one step at a time.
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Agreed. That said, Leaf appears to have stolen our plans already. I feel sad.
Twofold said:
If these are the goals, we could help the villages with manual labor just as well. Gathering firewood for the winter would achieve the same result as heating seals, and education would probably be longer lasting than hygiene seals. As a side bonus, we would not be pissing off paranoid ninjas.
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This is a decent idea.
Twofold said:
I kinda don't.

Hazou is a radical idealist who believes he can fix the world and is willing to risk his life for that. This is fine.

The rest of the team might get smart at some point and realize that we are just going to get ourselves killed. This is a totally valid conclusion, and if they reach it I don't feel like we should argue against it or try to manipulate them to stay.

If someone wants to get off the crazy train, we should let them.
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I mean, I don't want Hazou to explicitly try to stop them. But I do want our activities to be such that they'll encourage people to stay.
eaglejarl said:
By the way, @Radvic: Welcome back! Nice to have you with us again. I gather from some of your comments that you're finished with the Trail? You seriously need to catch up on your blog, man...it hasn't updated since September and I've been checking repeatedly.
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Yeah, I'm working on it. I wrote a first draft for the next week or so and will upload it later tonight probs.

On this chapter:
LEAF HAS HIDDEN HEAVEN! AHHHH!!!

Also we might need to work with Jiraiya and Leaf now. I'm not totally sure.
 
notanautomaton said:
Guys, what if we end up being escorted by Rational!Naruto?
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The Yondaime's son, who lul'd the Chunin Exams by virtue of being unable to die? Kind of a waste of useful manpower, don't you think?

No, it's more likely they'd grab Akane's Academy friends (presumably she has those) or Team Guy, minus the Jonin-sensei. People who we'd be less likely to kill due to the connection, however tenuous.
 
Velorien said:
This is not an acceptable outcome.
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Bravo @Velorien for a superb update, Hazou's speech was all worked in much more smoothly than I'd hoped for.

Cariyaga said:
I'm talking taking work from the civilian mayor of Sarubetsu directly
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Right, I get that, but I meant "would this be work that clan ninja would normally do". Because that's what'll determine if they're pissed.

Velorien said:
The good news is that Hidden Leaf possesses the world's most advanced medical ninjutsu
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A bit full of yourself there mate? -Orochimaru, probably

Velorien said:
"Were you the original creators of this design?" the Hokage asked mildly.

There was a long pause as Inoue-sensei visibly weighed the options.

"Yes," she finally said
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I object!! Credit where credit's due!

Twofold said:
Plow her trade
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Ply her trade, plow some jounin, surely?

Twofold said:
My guess is that they are going to give us a high genin or low chuunin team specialized in social combat.
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Since a Yamanaka is going to be involved, it may be Ino's team.
 
Also, I have to wonder how Orochimaru being Rational! fits with him using snake iconography all over the goddamn place. I mean, shouldn't he realize that that makes it obvious who it is?
 
notanautomaton said:
Also, I have to wonder how Orochimaru being Rational! fits with him using snake iconography all over the goddamn place. I mean, shouldn't he realize that that makes it obvious who it is?
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Yes, which is why he's doing it.

Orochimaru is making his unnecessary operations obvious so that anyone looking will see it and go after them instead of his real operations elsewhere.

Or it's a third party using Orochimaru as a pastry for their operations. *cough*Pein*cough*
 
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OliWhail said:
Bravo @Velorien for a superb update, Hazou's speech was all worked in much more smoothly than I'd hoped for.


Right, I get that, but I meant "would this be work that clan ninja would normally do". Because that's what'll determine if they're pissed.


A bit full of yourself there mate? -Orochimaru, probably


I object!! Credit where credit's due!


Ply her trade, plow some jounin, surely?


Since a Yamanaka is going to be involved, it may be Ino's team.
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Team of clan kids doesn't strike me as overwhelmingly likely to guard us, but on the other hand, Jiraiya probably trusts Hazou a fair bit now. No word on the rest of the team, particularly Kagome :p
notanautomaton said:
Also, I have to wonder how Orochimaru being Rational! fits with him using snake iconography all over the goddamn place. I mean, shouldn't he realize that that makes it obvious who it is?
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Snake clan bullshit probably.
 
faflec said:
@Velorien On a related note, how long until Akane recovers?
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She's still in surgery. The question at this point is if she survives, not when she recovers.

Twofold said:
Medical training for Nobby
  • Didn't we already have an agreement about this?
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Actually, what was said was:
Jiraiya said:
I can introduce [Noburi] to Hashimoto, though. She's the one who patched you all up. She's a grouchy old biddy and she'll be a total pain in the ass as a sensei, but she's good at her job and she owes me enough favors that she'll at least give you a shot. It's up to you to keep her from pitching you out, though."
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Twofold said:
  • Resolve whether she wants to leave or stay Sorry, apparently your input is not required
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She'll get her choice on whether to go with you once she's healed. The only thing that she doesn't get a choice on is whether or not to be reinstated.

Ridiculously Average Guy said:
Does Hazou know where his bloodline sprouted from? And, if so, could he go talk to some Uchiha or something?
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He knows the legends, yes. If you want to look around for some Uchiha you can. (Your minders might or might not allow it.)
 
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