Remove ads

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Voting is open
Reader mode
i have a headache and probably managed to lose a significant fraction of my 5l of blood through bloody noses, so i can't comment much beyond probably alright

[X] Action Plan: Debriefings and Doctorings
 
Just replacing the Kurosawa social stuff with the Hinata meeting and adding some stuff @Noumero removed that I'd rather have in.

The reason I'd rather do the Hinata thing right now is that I think it's fairly time-sensitive. As is, we'd be talking without actually knowing who gets the hat, or who wins the tournament; any commitments made in this state will be free of winner/loser power dynamics, which should be good for us regardless of who ends up winning. On the other hand, the Kurosawa social stuff we can learn later, and I suspect that Ren will veto it if we ask right now.

[X] Action Plan: Striking the iron
Word count: 459
  • Immediately vomit up that food.
    • Puke it into a bucket. Store it in a seal for later.
    • Eat charcoal. Drink water.
  • Debrief Jiraiya
    • OPSEC: Follow his lead.
    • Recount everything, word for word, gesture by gesture.
      • Be objective and factual.
    • Afterwards, politely offer own analysis and conclusions.
  • Analysis:
    • Kept us off balance permanently by switching personas, altering narrative to her advantage.
    • Knew about Ghost Scales coverup, connection to Yakuza.
    • Subtly showcased ways to destroy us yet executed at a level we could barely overcome.
      • Offer to buy your soul, killing intent, seduction attempt, rapport, etc...
    • Topics avoided
      • Biggest secrets: time as missing-nin, Skywalkers, CSK.
      • Keiko
      • Current Mist/Leaf politics.
    • Verifiable facts and concrete offers:
      • Yukizome story
      • Offer to test out uplift ideas.
    • Many casual references to death in the line of duty - of her friends, and of herself. Resigned fatalism or angry bitterness? Or just an act?
    • Cannot guess what level she's playing beyond that.
  • Conclusions:
    • Extremely talented, bloodline proficiency far exceeding Keiko's.
    • Proactive in procuring favors.
    • Possibly acting in good faith due to avoidance of more effective topics/methods
    • Meeting felt like a test combined with a warning that we're playing above our level
    • Need to up our game. Significantly.
  • Ask permission to:
    • Get checked by a medic.
      • For contact-poison, poisoned food, etc.
      • Do this ASAP.
    • Meet with Hinata
      • Hazou wants to play in the right league for a change
      • Her dad's a jerk, but she seems nice enough
      • Whichever way the hat falls, it'll be useful to be on somewhat friendly terms with the Hyuuga heiress.
      • If Jiraiya approves, does he have any recommendations as to the venue and security measures? As the person extending the invitation, Hazou feels like it should be his responsibility to arrange this.
  • Spend the rest of the day hanging out with Noburi
    • Hazou's thoughts
      • Noburi always struggled with self esteem issues. His loss to Hinata must be especially hard on him.
      • He's always avoided the topic of his family. Maybe he feels especially ashamed before them?
      • He did specifically mention his sisters. Perhaps he misses them, but is afraid of rejection?
    • Commiserate with Noburi on being out of the tournament.
      • Good thing Keiko didn't scar us because that'd make winning back Akane harder (serious tone, resolute expression).
        • Once Noburi has suffered enough trying to gently tell us not to get our hopes up, admit it was joke.
      • Seriously, how scary are all the kunoichi we know?
    • Gently bring up his family. No pressure.
      • He mentioned being upset his sisters didn't talk to him after his match.
        • Wanna talk about it? Plans to visit them?
      • Maybe it's better to see his family on his own terms?
      • In any case, Hazou has his back, and is willing to go pretty damn far to help.
 
Last edited:
Roomba said:
The reason I'd rather do the Hinata thing right now is that I think it's fairly time-sensitive. As is, we'd be talking without actually knowing who gets the hat, or who wins the tournament; any commitments made in this state will be free of winner/loser power dynamics, which should be good for us regardless of who ends up winning. On the other hand, the Kurosawa social stuff we can learn later, and I suspect that Ren will veto it if we ask right now.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I mean we can do it when Velorien is writing because EJ dislikes Talky Talky Talky ....Talky plans tomorrow, IC :p

(NB: We aren't doing anything in my plan besides asking the J man stuff and chilling with Nobby.)
 
Feel that we should also have a section devoted to discussing the match, and why Jiraiya was shocked during our speech.
 
MMKII said:
I mean we can do it when Velorien is writing because EJ dislikes Talky Talky Talky ....Talky plans tomorrow, IC :p

(NB: We aren't doing anything in my plan besides asking the J man stuff and chilling with Nobby.)
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Mine isn't really doing anything other than that either. Honestly, I don't think we actually need to ask about the Hinata thing, but there's no harm in it, and it's also an opportunity to establish Hazou's motivation.
 
Roomba said:
Mine isn't really doing anything other than that either. Honestly, I don't think we actually need to ask about the Hinata thing, but there's no harm in it, and it's also an opportunity to establish Hazou's motivation.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

So.

I've used the

ANCIENT SECRET TECHNIQUE: POR QUE NO LOS DOS NO JUTSU

to include your Hinata bit in my plan, modulo some conciseness edits.

MMKII said:
Rough draft
Real plan! :V

WC: 385
[X] Action Plan: Debriefings and Doctorings
  • Immediately vomit up that food.
    • Puke it into a bucket. Store it in a seal for later.
    • Eat charcoal. Drink water.
  • Debrief Jiraiya
    • OPSEC: Follow his lead.
    • Recount everything.
      • Be objective and factual.
    • Afterwards, politely offer own analysis and conclusions.
  • Analysis:
    • Kept us off balance by switching personas and altering narrative to her advantage.
    • Knew about Ghost Scales coverup; connection to Yakuza.
    • Showcased ways to destroy us yet executed at a level we could barely overcome.
      • Offer to buy your soul, killing intent, seduction attempt, rapport, etc...
    • Topics avoided:
      • Biggest secrets: time as missing-nin, Skywalkers, CSK.
      • Keiko
      • Current Mist/Leaf politics.
    • Verifiable facts:
      • Yukizome story
      • Offer to test out uplift.
    • Hazou can't guess what level she's playing beyond that.
  • Conclusions:
    • Extremely talented, bloodline proficiency far exceeding Keiko's.
    • Proactive in procuring favors.
    • Possibly acting in good faith due to avoidance of more effective topics/methods
    • Hazou needs to up his game. Significantly.
  • Ask permission to:
    • See a medic.
      • For contact-poison, poisoned food, etc.
      • Do ASAP.
    • Talk to Hana/Ren about Kurosawa stuff.
      • Possibility: Get clan secret body language training?
      • Ask about Ren's attitude towards us/odds of getting permission for training mentioned above.
      • Do this in a few days.
    • Meet with Hinata
      • (Joking)Hazou wants to play in the right league for a change
      • Her dad's a jerk, but she's alright.
      • Being friendly with her will be advantageous regardless.
  • Hang with Noburi
    • Hazou's thoughts
      • Noburi always struggled with self esteem issues. His loss to Hinata must be especially hard on him.
      • He's always avoided the topic of his family. Maybe he feels conscientious?
      • He did specifically mention his sisters. Perhaps he misses them, but is afraid of rejection?
    • Commiserate with Noburi on being out of the tournament.
      • Good thing Keiko didn't scar us because that'd make winning back Akane harder (serious tone, resolute expression).
        • Once Noburi has suffered enough trying to gently tell us not to get our hopes up, admit it was joke.
      • So... how scary are all the kunoichi we know?
    • Gently bring up his family. No pressure.
      • He mentioned being upset his sisters didn't talk to him after his match.
        • Wanna talk about it? Any plans to visit them?
      • Maybe it's better to see his family on his own terms?
      • In any case, Hazou has his back, and is willing to go pretty damn far to help.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
 
Cariyaga said:
...! She also gave us names for the people in question!


If we wanted to, we could pursue them ourselves and try to avoid indebting ourselves to her.

e: For instance... we could pledge to (and follow through on) providing them a crap ton of explosive seals or something to sell to Mist in exchange for being allowed to do as they wish.

(Or we could involve them in Salt-shenanigans)

Then, we could ask Ami what her intention to have them do is (after all, an Ami-optimized plan is worth a lot -- though don't frame it in such a way that we'd owe her a favor for telling us) and then tell them to do that.

We get them to credit the scheme to Ami, so its success or failure is tied to her, thus she both has reason not to interfere (relying also on her amusement at us subjorning her favors) and owes us if it's successful.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I'd like to suggest something like this to Jiraiya.
 
MMKII said:
So.

I've used the

ANCIENT SECRET TECHNIQUE: POR QUE NO LOS DOS NO JUTSU

to include your Hinata bit in my plan, modulo some conciseness edits.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Cool. I thought you didn't want to put it in, which is why I made my own plan. I can vote for this. FYI, I also added another point with Hazou asking Jiraiya how to organize the meeting - we shouldn't expect that Hinata will do all the work for us, like Ami did.

I do think that we won't be able to get this under 300 words without losing important information in the Ami section, which means we may as well use our expanded word budget to provide more context for the important bits. For example, I think the observation that the Ami meeting was equal parts test and warning from her side, is the most important part of our analysis, and don't want to remove it.
 
Last edited:
Tua said:
Jiraiya is unlikely to pick up on it through a word by word replay of the conversation
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Note that Hazō does not have eidetic memory. He will not be able to provide a word by word recounting.

MMKII said:
Seems like a dearth of votes this voting period. Maybe we should use the opportunity to acquire spandex training clothing of dubious make and strange color?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I double-dog dare you.
 
Cariyaga said:
I'd like to suggest something like this to Jiraiya.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I'm hesitant to barter with ninja who owe Ami enough that she can call in favors like that.

At best, its rude.

Roomba said:
Cool. I thought you didn't want to put it in, which is why I made my own plan. I can vote for this. FYI, I also added another point with Hazou asking Jiraiya how to organize the meeting - we shouldn't expect that Hinata will do all the work for us, like Ami did.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
What work? We're not arranging a meeting, just asking the J man about it. Note the wording.

I do think that we won't be able to get this under 300 words without losing important information in the Ami section, which means we may as well use our expanded word budget to provide more context for the important bits. For example, I think the observation that the Ami meeting was equal parts test and warning from her side, is the most important part of our analysis, and don't want to remove it.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Well, its already 389 words. I think I covered the "test" observation (Note how every barrier shew threw in our way was just barely overcome, etc.) but if you can somehow finangle that to take 10 words or less, I'm game.


eaglejarl said:
I double-dog dare you.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I play with fire more than most, but even I am wiser than this :p

eaglejarl said:
Note that Hazō does not have eidetic memory. He will not be able to provide a word by word recounting.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Goddamnit.
 
Are we vomiting right on the street, or what? If we're watched, it'll... attract attention, to say the least. Can we enter some restaurant and do it semi-covertly in a bathroom? @MMKII, @Roomba, I suggest the following changes to that section:
  • Vomit.
    • Enter a public bathroom (privacy).
    • Puke the food into a bucket. Seal it.
    • Eat charcoal. Drink water.
Also, I agree with @Lailoken that we probably should point out her "I'll die in a month" line.

Beyond that, @Roomba, I've made a shortened version of your plan (with the suggestions above included, in blue). Wordcount down from 459 to 398. Relatedly, @MMKII, I agree with @Roomba that some of the lines you cut from your plan should've probably been left alone. I marked them red.
  • Vomit.
    • Enter a public bathroom (privacy).
    • Puke the food into a bucket. Seal it.
    • Eat charcoal. Drink water.
  • Debrief Jiraiya:
    • OPSEC: Follow his lead.
    • Recount everything, word for word, gesture by gesture. Be objective and factual.
    • Afterwards, politely offer your analysis and conclusions.
  • Analysis:
    • Kept you constantly off-balance by switching personas, altering narrative to her advantage.
    • Knew about Ghost Scales cover-up, connection to Yakuza.
    • Subtly showcased ways to destroy you, yet executed at a level you could barely overcome.
      • Offer to buy your soul, killing intent, seduction attempt, rapport, etc...
    • Notably avoided:
      • Biggest secrets: time as missing-nin, sealing inventions, CSK.
      • Keiko.
      • Current Mist/Leaf politics.
    • Verifiable facts and concrete offers:
      • Yukizome's story.
      • Offer to test Uplift ideas.
    • Made several references to death in the line of duty. Resigned fatalism/angry bitterness? Or just an act?
      • Claimed she'll die in a month. Possible warning?
    • Everything else is suspect.
  • Conclusions:
    • Extremely talented, bloodline proficiency far exceeding Keiko's.
    • Proactive in procuring favors.
    • Possibly acting in good faith due to avoidance of more effective topics/methods.
    • Meeting felt like a test combined with a warning that you're playing above our level.
    • Need to up your game. Significantly.
  • Ask permission to:
    • Get checked by a medic ASAP. Potential contact-poison, poisoned food...
    • Meet with Hinata:
      • You want to play in the right league for once.
      • Her dad's a jerk, but she seems nice.
      • However the hat falls, being friendly with her will be advantageous.
      • If approved: any recommendations on the venue and security measures?
  • Spend time hanging out with Noburi.
    • Thoughts:
      • Noburi always struggled with self-esteem issues. Losing to Hinata must be hard on him.
      • He's also avoided talking about his family. Maybe he feels especially ashamed before them?
      • He specifically mentioned his sisters. He misses them, but fears rejection?
    • Commiserate on losing the tournament.
      • (serious tone, resolute expression) Good thing Keiko didn't scar you. That'd make winning back Akane harder.
        • Admit the joke only once Noburi has suffered trying to gently tell you not to get your hopes up.
      • How scary all the kunoichi we know are?
    • Gently bring up his family. No pressure.
      • He mentioned being upset his sisters didn't talk to him after his match.
        • Wanna talk about it? Plans to visit them?
      • Maybe it's better to see his family on his own terms?
      • In any case, you have his back, and are willing to go pretty damn far to help.
Roomba said:
Just replacing the Kurosawa social stuff with the Hinata meeting and adding some stuff @Noumero removed that I'd rather have in.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Much like all new WMD ideas are attributed to Radvic and all feats of memory are attributed to faflec, all instances of wordcount-optimization are now attributed to me? I'm flattered, truly.

(It was @Tua this time, actually.)


[x] Action Plan: Striking the iron
[X] Action Plan: Debriefings and Doctorings
 
Honestly the entire vomiting thing seems ill thought out. I very much doubt Ami would have trouble getting access to the kind of food we eat day-to-day (unless we've been eating exclusively things brought from Leaf? But that seems unlikely), so if she wanted us poisoned, why do it the obvious way?
 
eaglejarl said:
Note that Hazō does not have eidetic memory. He will not be able to provide a word by word recounting.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Yet. Growth mindset.
eaglejarl said:
I double-dog dare you.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Not while in Mist. Akane strayed close enough to breaking the International Rock Lee Non-Proliferation Treaty by her sheer presence.

Now, if Ami happened find herself in Leaf, why, we might be obligated to teach her about the local customs.
 
Anderkent said:
Honestly the entire vomiting thing seems ill thought out. I very much doubt Ami would have trouble getting access to the kind of food we eat day-to-day (unless we've been eating exclusively things brought from Leaf? But that seems unlikely), so if she wanted us poisoned, why do it the obvious way?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Perhaps it's poisoned, but just light enough to not kill Hazou. It'll fit in the pattern of the rest of the meeting.
 
Summoning Technique: Homing Crystal Wordcount Edits!

MMKII said:
Rough draft
Real plan! :V

WC: 389
[X] Action Plan: Debriefings and Doctorings\
  • Vomit.
    • Enter a public bathroom (privacy).
    • Puke the food into a bucket. Seal it.
    • Eat charcoal. Drink water.
  • Debrief Jiraiya:
    • OPSEC: Follow his lead.
    • Recount everything with maximal accuracy and objectivity.
    • Politely offer your analysis and conclusions.
  • Analysis:
    • Kept you constantly off-balance by switching personas, altering narrative to her advantage.
    • Knew about Ghost Scales cover-up, connection to Yakuza.
    • Showcased ways to destroy you, yet executed at a level you could barely overcome.
      • Offer to buy your soul, killing intent, seduction attempt, rapport, etc...
    • Avoided:
      • Biggest secrets: time as missing-nin, sealing inventions, CSK.
      • Keiko.
      • Current Mist/Leaf politics.
    • Verifiable facts:
      • Yukizome's story.
      • Offer to test Uplift ideas.
    • Made several references to death in the line of duty. Resigned fatalism/angry bitterness, or an act?
      • Claimed she'll die in a month. Possible warning?
    • Everything else is suspect.
  • Conclusions:
    • Extremely talented, bloodline proficiency far exceeding Keiko's.
    • Proactive in procuring favors.
    • Possibly acting in good faith due to avoidance of more effective topics/methods.
    • Meeting felt like a test combined with a warning: we're out of our league.
    • Need to up your game. Significantly.
  • Ask permission to:
    • See a medic.
      • For contact-poison, poisoned food, etc.
      • Do ASAP.
    • Talk to Hana/Ren about Kurosawa stuff.
      • Possibility: Acquire body language training?
      • Probe Ren's attitude towards us/odds of getting permission for training mentioned above.
      • Do this in a few days.
    • Meet with Hinata
      • (Joking)Hazou wants to play in the right league for a change
      • Hiashi sucks, but she's alright.
      • Being friendly with her will be advantageous.
  • Hang with Noburi
    • Hazou's thoughts
      • Noburi always struggled with self esteem issues. His loss to Hinata must be especially hard on him.
      • He's always avoided talking about family, but specifically mentioned his sisters... Is he embarassed? Self-conscious?
    • Commiserate on getting knocked out.
      • Good thing Keiko didn't scar us because that'd make winning back Akane harder (serious tone, resolute expression).
        • Once Noburi has suffered enough, admit it was joke.
      • So... how scary are all the kunoichi we know?
    • Gently bring up his family.
      • He mentioned being upset his sisters didn't talk to him after his match.
        • Wanna talk about it? Any plans to visit them?
      • Might be better to see his family on his own terms.
      • In any case, Hazou has his back, and is willing to go pretty damn far to help.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...


Phew.

Anderkent said:
Honestly the entire vomiting thing seems ill thought out. I very much doubt Ami would have trouble getting access to the kind of food we eat day-to-day (unless we've been eating exclusively things brought from Leaf? But that seems unlikely), so if she wanted us poisoned, why do it the obvious way?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Well, we don't want to get food poisoning either do we?
 
Noumero said:
Much like all new WMD ideas are attributed to Radvic and all feats of memory are attributed to faflec, all instances of wordcount-optimization are now attributed to me? I'm flattered, truly.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
If I can lay claim to the credit for all future alcohol related gambits, that'd be swell. Tipserators for life
 
Cariyaga said:
I thought it was impossible to not use the IN to record something that you're not trying to not record? And isn't the process of speaking itself voluntary muscle movement?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I don't know how vocal chords work, but maybe he can mouth it to J then?

To be fair: That would only work for his half of the conversation.

E: Though in future conversations we should have the kid mouth whatever the other person is saying as well. Maybe under the guise of a pause or something.
 
Last edited:
Just send Noburi to talk to Hinata. He's the social spec, nothing will win her over more than his finding a way to spin his humiliation as a blessing as Shin did, and the kid needs to conquer his issues while a girl who clearly pulled her punches during obligatory trash-talk is probably the softest real-world challenge he's likely to encounter.



faflec said:
Feel that we should also have a section devoted to discussing the match, and why Jiraiya was shocked during our speech.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I'm sure he'll mention it.

I now have a dread vision of Jiraiya so angry that Hazou walks in on him asking Orochimaru for punishment suggestions.
 
MMKII said:
I don't know how vocal chords work, but maybe he can mouth it to J then?

To be fair: That would only work for his half of the conversation.

E: Though in future conversations we should have the kid mouth whatever the other person is saying as well. Maybe under the guise of a pause or something.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I was thinking more like this:
OliWhail said:
The other ninja were now staring open-mouthed back and forth between the two men. The Mori girl's eyes had glazed over as she tried to leverage her bloodline to understand what was happenning, and Hazou was twitching as he encoded all the details he could into his muscles for review later. Jiraiya made a mental note to commend them for their initiative later, as he thought back fondly to his own beffuddlement the first time he had watched two masters -- his sensei the Sandiame Hokage and the Raikage at the time -- play the game.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
 
faflec said:
I was thinking more like this:
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
"Encoded all the details into his muscles that he could for later review."

I mean, sure, modulo us specifying how we're encoding it.

I'll go get some information theory books, someone else can grab a bachelor's degree worth of biology textbooks, and we can try to work it out within the next 7-8 months optimistically?
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Voting is open
Remove ads
Back
Top