So ... induced vomiting, Jiraiya debrief and then quality time with Noburi?

We should always be as thorough as possible when it comes to dealing with Kage-level players. Hazou should undergo a full physical in addition to the vomiting with an emphasis on checking out the spot where Ami touched him as well as undergoing whatever measures Leaf has for detecting gen jutsu on one of their personnel.

RE: Ami's offer, I believe that we should decline. We don't know who these people are, we can't verify what measures Ami will or won't have them implement (or if she is even acting in good faith in the first place), and owing favors to someone we (well, mainly Hazou) can barely maintain a conversation with is simply a recipe for disaster. This is far too rushed and if Ami is involved so intimately with our first foreign experiments with Uplift then she has the ability to sabotage us at any time while making the failure look like our fault. That is far too much leverage to give to anyone we don't trust sufficiently.

It's the same principle behind not taking offers of candy from strangers.
 
i can't believe that i'm asking this question, but @eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail has hazou ever thrown up in his life?
I'm late to the party, but the instant I read this I knew where you were going.

Yes, Hazō has thrown up. No, he cannot use the Iron Nerve to induce vomiting. It can only replay voluntary muscle actions.

Incidentally I am pretty sure this was stated within the first 100-ish pages of the quest. @faflec ?

Do you have any particular preference on us picking up immediately after Hazou leaves the restaurant?
Nope. Knock yourselves out.

Ami is fucking with me
No...? She barely brushed your arm. That's hardly even stepping off home plate, let alone rounding the bases.

Honestly, kids these days... What are they teaching in sex ed??

A hundred chapters from now it turns out that Gai was in cahoots with Orochimaru (who is Kabuto) all along and his master plan is to get our nervous system grafted onto his body so that he gains the Iron Fist and can take over the world!
Damnit! That's it, time to install friggin biometrics.

I mean, she's as dangerous as a swarm of rabid cabbage
:)

So characterization seems to change through practice and success
This.

I feel like the reason we're so often on the back foot is that we're often playing games far above our power level. People like Mari, Hana, Ami, Jiraiya, you name it; we don't play little leagues, and it tells.
Also this.

The simple solution is to go play little leagues more to build confidence in our social skills before getting them dashed again. The hard solution is to git gud at socials until we can dance the dance with the likes of Ami and come out intact, which is going to take years of IC emotional and intellectual development (along with the accumulation of experience and perspective) and sizeable investments in our social stats to represent dedicated effort in being able to play these games.
And this as well.
 
Hinata doesn't have that, she's just under threat of being disinherited or something like that IIRC.

The entire Naruto franchise drops the ball pretty hard on female characters.

To be fair Temari is pretty bad-ass in her appearances, and Sakura DID learn Tsunade's chakra strength and can punch buildings to death. Unfortunately that's overshadowed by her unexplainable, obsessive sasuke lust. Hinata has her badass moment in the war.....and then becomes a house wife after more "n-naruto-kun" for like 40 episodes.

So yeah female Naruto characters are either super underutilized or just aren't good.
 
Rough draft
Real plan! :V

WC: 299
[X] Action Plan: Debriefings and Doctorings
  • Vomit.
    • Enter a public bathroom (privacy).
    • Puke the food into a bucket. Seal it.
    • Eat charcoal. Drink water.
  • Debrief Jiraiya:
    • OPSEC: Underground and/or privacy seals?
    • Recount everything with maximal accuracy and objectivity.
    • Offer your analysis and conclusions.
    • Analysis.
      • Censor depending on privacy conditions.
    • Conclusions:
      • Proactive in procuring favours.
      • Possibly acting in good faith: she was sandbagging hard.
      • Meeting felt like a test combined with a warning: we're out of our league.
      • Aside: Hazou needs to up his game. Significantly.
    • Ami's offer: should decline.
      • Couldn't trust that she'll be acting in good faith.
      • Gives her significant leverage: ability to sabotage first Uplift experiment.
      • Owing her "the mother of all favours" seems suicidal.
    • Apologize for:
      • Any mistakes during the meeting.
      • Pre-match speech. You looked alarmed.
    • Ask about:
      • Seeing a medic ASAP. (Potential poisoning.)
      • Update on GS incident.
      • Meeting with Hinata.
        • (Joking) Hazou wants to play in the right league for once.
        • Hiashi sucks. She's ... alright?
        • Her friendship would be a boon.
      • Kurosawa body-language training. Could we attempt to acquire it? Through Ren/Hana?
        • Might want to figure out Ren's attitude towards us.
  • Hang out with Noburi
    • Internally:
      • Noburi always struggled with self-esteem. Losing to Hinata must be hard on him.
      • He's avoided talking about family, but specifically mentioned his sisters... Is he embarrassed? Self-conscious?
    • Commiserate on losing the tournament.
      • (Serious, resolute expression) Good thing Keiko didn't scar us... that'd make winning back Akane harder!
        • Reveal the joke once Noburi has suffered enough.
      • Aren't all the girls we know terrifying?
    • Gently bring up his family.
      • He was upset his sisters didn't talk to him after his match.
        • Wanna talk about it? Any plans to visit them?
      • Might be better to see them on his own terms?
      • Regardless, Hazou has his back, and is willing to go "pretty damn far" to help.
 
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Rough draft

WC: 350 ish
[X] Action Plan: Debriefings and Doctorings
  • Immediately vomit up that food.
    • It could be poisoned with nasty weirdness, and it will probably give you food poisoning anyway!
    • Find a bucket, puke your guts out into it. Store it in a seal for later.
    • Grab some charcoal. Eat a couple handfuls (chew thoroughly) and drink plenty of water on your way back.
  • Debrief Jiraiya
    • OPSEC: Go for a swim in the dirt.
    • Tell him everything, word for word.
      • Give him the direct play-by-play of everything that happened since the meeting started until this moment.
      • Don't bias it with initial observations, but do succinctly explain your mental state at each and every point in the conversation.
    • After the report, offer your own analysis and conclusions.
  • Analysis and Conclusions:
    • Note: These are likely incorrect or inaccurate.
    • Analysis:
      • She did an impeccable job keeping you off balance the entire conversation by switching faces
      • She all but stated that she knew about our Ghost Scales OPSEC coverup as well as our connection to the Yakuza.
      • She also subtly highlighted at least half a dozen ways she could have owned your ass throughout that conversation.
        • The intentional lowball offer to buy your soul, killing intent, the barely-trying seduction attempt, the obvious stand in for "poisoned" food (which may be poisoned), her backup, etc.
      • Beyond that, Hazou cannot guess at what level she is playing at. It's possible she was bullshitting us the entire time, or telling the truth on everything, or using this as a teaching experience, or all of that and more.
    • Conclusions:
      • Ami can be many different people.
      • She is extremely talented, and can likely make use of her bloodline to an extent that Keiko will not be able to do for a long time.
      • Seems to make a habit of getting people to owe her favors. Is very proactive about this.
      • Hazou needs to up his game. A lot.
  • Ask permission to leave and get a full check up by a medic nin.
    • For the food you ate, in case she had contact poison on her hands when she touched you, etc.
  • Spend the rest of the day hanging out with Noburi

This seems like a rather short scene in a chapter?
 
This seems like a rather short scene in a chapter?
The Jiraiya debrief could easily be the entire chapter. I can plausibly see them going back and forth on it for the whole thing. It's not like we haven't had entire chapters where we did nothing but chat with the guy.
 
The wiki is really bad for the most part. I'm also more of a manga purist for Naruto in particular, and this reduces the amount of ridiculousness by a fair amount, though a lot of the side characters aren't as fleshed out in the manga (I think TenTen says like 30 words in total or something crazy like that).

It gets better and worse in Part II.
See if you want more fleshed out side characters with more screen time you watch the anime. If you don't want stupid nonsensical shitty filler, you read the manga. If you hate yourself and feel like you need to hurt your soul, you watch and/or read Boruto.
 
So... the solution to Hazou's social problem... involves interacting with people in his social "weight class"... in a safe environment with a teacher and/or sparring partner he can trust... ideally someone who would be good enough to challenge Hazou but not too good as to make progress impossible... and while we're at it would be useful to recruit to our cause... someone who will be available once we make it back to Leaf... REPENT YOU HAZOUxAMI-SHIPPING SINNERS! INAZOU4LYFE!

GEE
I
WONDER
WHO
THAT
COULD
BE
 
See if you want more fleshed out side characters with more screen time you watch the anime. If you don't want stupid nonsensical shitty filler, you read the manga. If you hate yourself and feel like you need to hurt your soul, you watch and/or read Boruto.
Or I could read One Piece and MHA and save myself the pain! :D

So... the solution to Hazou's social problem... involves interacting with people in his social "weight class"... in a safe environment with a teacher and/or sparring partner he can trust... ideally someone who would be good enough to challenge Hazou but not too good as to make progress impossible... and while we're at it would be useful to recruit to our cause... someone who will be available once we make it back to Leaf... REPENT YOU HAZOUxAMI-SHIPPING SINNERS! INAZOU4LYFE!

GEE
I
WONDER
WHO
THAT
COULD
BE
Guess: Links to chapters/picture of Ino?

*clicks*

Yep. *thumbsup*
 
The shipping pairs really start to remind me of levels of difficulty:

First we had Akane- she pretty much lowered the difficulty to negative by being such a sweet cinammon bun.
Now we have Ino, who is less pleasant but more socially savvy.
Near level cap we have Ami, who (I finally realize) played a kid's version of deadly jonin meeting with us, which is adorable.

Genin, Chūnin, Jōnin.
And then we have Sannin, our ultimate waifu- Oro-chan.
 
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Thanks, but you must be reading an older version. That one was fixed shortly after posting.

The Shattered Heart, Ch. 2
Shuffle. Cut. Deal three from under the top. Perfect riffle, palm the bottom: as you move the deck to the left hand, air twirl palmed card with Ram handsign for show and misdirection: catch between right hand's index and middle fingers, flashing the nonexistent crowd: slap to table facedown, substituting one of the three previously-dealt cards as left hand does another perfect riffle. False cut, false shuffle, deal the preserved top card to replace the leftmost in the reading, what does that make? Well, according to the grooves in the backs, this is... The Magician, The Hermit, Justice. Eh. You can take the Magician, but the other two don't really suit you. Then again, Itsumi could've changed the deck on you again: she does that sometimes.

As the saying goes, "trust, but verify" -

Yep. Magician, Hermit, Justice. What a crappy fortune. So, according to, uh, bullshit superstitions or whatever, your past was to be the power of creation, your present is to be stuck in this room for fucking ever, and your future is that you're gonna get what you deserve. Kami, you hate this deck sometimes.

Kindling a chakra-spark between your fingers, you roll over in bed and start trying to get it to change colors like you did last week. Your mother doesn't approve of you "wasting Chakra playing around with trifles", but you know she's just worried for you: she's a tech hacker too after all. And what the hell else is there to do around here on a regular day? All the patterns are so damn dull. All starched and pruned and massaged to within an inch of their lives. It's enough to make you wanna pace, wanna bite your fingernails, wanna rebraid every single inch of your lightning-white ponytail. You check the weights you've got braided into it: yep, still secure, and the special explosive tag for assholes who think they can grab your hair like some kind of kindergarten kid is right where it belongs.

Welp. This is sure boring. You keep rolling, right out of your bunk bed: a casual Rat handsign and a flicker of Chakra lands your feet firmly on the floor, despite the fact your head definitely left the bed first.

Wandering over to your dishful of sinks, er, sinkful of dishes, you give it the stink-eye for a few seconds: then you turn away, and slip out the door and down the hallway. Best not to forget to put the deck back like you did that one time back in ninja school: you'd never hear the end of it.

You take the long way round, just for a change, not that that it's much less boring: yep, the sun is still hot, Sand is still sandy, and the Kakero compound is still about as dull as dust. Very pretty, you have to admit, and a pretty good try at decent variety, but come on. There aren't even any pachinko machines!

- there is, however, a red-haired ninja with a drawn kunai trying to conceal himself behind one of the ornamental cacti. It's very deliberately designed to be useless as cover, but apparently he did not get the memo. You sigh.

"Kai!"

The early morning heat-haze abruptly dissipates: half-turning, you lazily put two spark-charged fingers to Hiro's throat as he comes in from behind with a kunai.

"Fuck, Fuutsu." He drops the kunai. "What gave me away?"

You roll your eyes. "Give me some credit. Even you aren't dumb enough to try to hide behind a cactus half your size."

"Fair," he says. "But honestly, how else was I going to bring any excitement into your life?"

You hum a little under your breath, your fingers sliding down to poke him in the chest. The teasing smile mom coached you on slips into your face - then spreads into an outright grin. "Well, you could've stalked me, slipped into my room while I was away, set up an ambush..."

Hiro just stares at you like you've grown an extra head. "In the middle of the compound? In your room?"

You click your tongue. "Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say. See you around, hey?"

"Wait, Fuu -"

But you're already gone.
Any reason for capitalising "chakra"?
 
22 dec: Hazou vs Kotzsui , Chouji vs Minawa
23 dec: Ino vs Kiba , Shikamaru vs Ito
24 dec: Keiko kicks our ass , Hinata vs Chouji
25 dec: Ino vs Shino , Shikamaru vs Ikeda <--- Today hasn't happen yet I think
26 dec: 2 fights
27 dec: finals + 3third place

So we still have 6 fights before us. Do we watch all of them? Until BirdDuke is sick of punching?

The shipping pairs really start to remind me of levels of difficulty:

First we had Akane- she pretty much lowered the difficulty to negative by being such a sweet cinammon bun.
Now we have Ino, who is less pleasant but more socially savvy.
Near level cap we have Ami, who (I finally realize) played a kid's version of deadly jonin meeting with us, which is adorable.

Genin, Chūnin, Jōnin.
And then we have Sannin, our ultimate waifu- Oro-chan.

And then god-like: Kaguya.
 
And then god-like: Kaguya.

This Kaguya? The goddess who got distracted by the sexy and nearly paid with her life for it?


Is the implication that we never learn to resist seduction then or that seduction is just hilariously overpowered in the setting of Naruto?
 
How do we improve Hazou stat-wise, anyway?

Ami seemed to attack using a mix of Rapport (Hi! Do you want a favor, a hug, or me? ;) ), Deceit (Who are you? Yes), Presence (Let me do you a favor, like I did for everyone else.) and Intimidation (Do you think it's a fucking game!?)... so literally everything, actually.

Aaaand we can defend against all of those with a combination of Resolve and Empathy. Which makes sense narratively- we went in trying to understand Ami (who are you, really?), and left with our resolve shaken (I need to puke and rethink my life.).
 
Somewhere far away, Mari mutters, "Finally."
She already seduced Jiraiya so it's not like it's weak. Skywalkers, you say? That was nothing more than an excuse and you all know it.

Shame she didn't try it on Hana because that would have saved us a lot of anguish.
 
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