Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Yes.
By the time we're actually allowed into Leaf we're going to be S-Ranks. And at that point there's jack-all they can do to stop us.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I have Internet again!
Relatedly, EE customer support is both disorganised and mendacious. Avoid like the plague.
Relatedly, EE customer support is both disorganised and mendacious. Avoid like the plague.
Noburi can drain plants to death; he just won't get a meaningful amount of chakra from it. Your experiments with chakra water suggest that plants will not absorb excess chakra before it disperses into the environment.
Hazō can transform into a glass lens; true one-way mirrors don't exist (in our reality or the MfD one), but he could in principle turn into the partial kind used in interrogation rooms. He doesn't have sufficiently fine control with the Transformation Technique to transform into a magnetised version of a normal material.
- Location
- Atlanta
I've actually been thinking about this: mostly how to leverage Akane's Mech Apt. to make 5SB contraptions. If the ruling holds that LBF detects anything that blocks a chakra stream between the seals, then the final action of any physical mechanism can be to push one or more small items through some LBFs in order to activate whatever seals we have the mechanism place where we want them. So for a 5SB machine, we have it unfold the seals into position and then activate them.
The main problem we have is that the secondary seals need to be a minimum of 3 meters from the primary, which means that anything we want to be carrying around with us has to use extensible arms to place the seals, so we would need materials that are light enough and strong enough to use, and parts machined within good enough tolerances to place the seals as precisely as necessary, and I don't know if any of that exists at our tech level. So most of this is probably not practical until we either reduce the required distance of the secondary seals, or develop the 1SB alternate.
The first possibility, and the one that's most likely to be usable with the 5SB as it exists now if anything is, is just an umbrella with the secondary seals on the arms. Open it between you and the enemy and you have instant cover. Put an explosive seal on a short timer that gets triggered at the same time as the 5SB and you have a directional explosion, though that last bit is probably not useful unless Kagome's directional explosion seals have a drawback versus regular explosion seals.
My next thought is to put it on a throwing weapon. (I can't imagine this would work without making everything smaller). Attach a ninja wire to the weapon; when it's where you want it to deploy, grab the wire to stop it, which supplies the force necessary to deploy the mechanism. (A longer term improvement would be a seal with an adjustable timer to kick off the mechanism.) Basically the same idea of an instant barrier, but you can deploy it further away from you.
Also, for both the stationary and thrown umbrellas, if the umbrella material can be a net of ninja wire, then instead of a blocking barrier, you get a barrier that anything (or anyone) that tries to go through it chops itself into tiny pieces instead.
With a 1SB seal, collect a bunch of gravel and put a seal on each one. Put the gravel in a container and use a weak force-only explosion seal to create a shotgun with the gravel. Trigger the 1SBs off the combination of simultaneous acceleration and sound from the explosion seal, with a short timer to give it just enough time to disperse in the air. Instant floating gravel shield. Again, anyone not expecting it could easily hurt themselves trying to go through it.
My last idea is for a 1SB that can be turned on and off. Get two rods just big enough to fit comfortably in your hand and place the seal on each one and you have temporary handholds. Climb/brachiate to anywhere in 3D space not otherwise occupied. Also, in combat, you can jump and use one to redirect your momentum in midair.
Edit: Oh. And if we can create a 1SB that generates drag rather than being locked in place, that would be a way to slow down from PMYF.
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Could we make a storage seal with a long zone between the inputter and outputter?
So like...
[IN]--------------------------------[OUT]
where "-" is the seal equivalent of a wire connecting the two components.
If so, then we could take a wooden block, put the inputter on one face, wrap the wire around the block, and put the outputter on the opposite face.
From there we can design the seal to rapidly input the air in front of it, then output that air, repeatedly so long as it has chakra. Voila. Internal Cthulhu Engine.
So like...
[IN]--------------------------------[OUT]
where "-" is the seal equivalent of a wire connecting the two components.
If so, then we could take a wooden block, put the inputter on one face, wrap the wire around the block, and put the outputter on the opposite face.
From there we can design the seal to rapidly input the air in front of it, then output that air, repeatedly so long as it has chakra. Voila. Internal Cthulhu Engine.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Huh, henge for rapid design prototyping ...
- Location
- Europe
Don't forget, clones can henge too.
EDIT: ...and they should be used for most contraption henges since if your henge pops and there's no room for your normal body the results won't look nice.
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- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Oh my god those are both brilliant. Fuck, our combats are going to start looking truly hysterical/terrifying to our enemies if we can manage to keep these projects secret.
I'll do you one better on the handholds though: develop a form of 1SB that cycles on/off with small chakra pulses, then stick them in the bottom of our shoes. Practice with the timing a little bit, learn to straight up run through the air and give no shits about that gravity nonsense.
This is an awesome idea and also provides an IC reason for someone to get to henge 20.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Huh, if you have those seals could you kawarimi to midair? since now it's reachable?
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Appendium#3.5: Wait, what? I was running them towards a cliff face so I could trap them, but they just kept on running, right over the canyon and onto the other side. How the fuck did they do that?
There wasn't even an invisible bridge or anything, I checked!
- Location
- Atlanta
Add in 1SB tonfa. Melee combat with up to 4 points of arbitrary 3D stability.
Edit: And/or gloves if tonfa are Weapons instead of Taijutsu.
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- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
@eaglejarl @Velorien I have a mighty need to know what Kagome thinks of these ideas.
Anyone in the thread object to 1SB being our next research project? What are the alternatives? (E: Better macerator (can be used as a gun?), flashbang casino seals, and Chakra-Poor Man's Storage Scroll seem like they would be the closest contenders.)
All in favor of simply answering "bloodline secrets" whenever we get asked this? Technically we aren't even lying!
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No objections, but for the sake of clarity, when people are saying "1SB", are they meaning the thing I have down in the tech tree as 1SB (full functionality of 5SB but only needing 1 seal), or the thing I have down as "Kinetic Resistance Seal" (which more closely matches how Kagome described "getting the same results as putting up a 5SB and then removing the four outer seals, but without bothering with the outer seals at all")?
Edit: Just checked, I put down Kinetic Resistance Seal, not Kinetic Reduction Seal. Oops.
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- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
I have been meaning KRS, I don't know about others, so good to clarify. Though from Kagome's description a KRS'd object would still be frozen, just not be totally invincible IIRC?
E:
The quote only mentions reducing the 'protection', so I'm not sure if he means the damage resistance or also the resistance to movement:
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Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
I would like to get a wider range of macerator payloads, but that's a minor research project at worst. Specifically, I want something with very strong scents, something like pepper spray, and the white hot iron flashbang.
(Hazou should be able to MEW up a sufficient kiln, and either Inoue or Keiko should be able to use a wind jutsu to act like a bellows. Wind wall should work if Hazou MEWS a frame to guide the wind into a kiln. )
I'd also like to make sure that Inoue and Akane have at least 5-6 sawdust bombs, to trigger with Hotaru or a lightning jutsu; Nobby has 5-6 mist bombs; Kagome has enough sawdust bombs to add one or two to each stupid box; and everyone has at least 2 of each type of macerator for mutual support or some other creative use.
Should take us making 20xSawdust, 16xMist, 12xScent, 12xPepper, and 12xFlashbang for a total of 72 seals, not including those sawdust seals for stupid boxes. Which should be a good day's work for Hazou assuming mats are gathered and research is finished.
(Hazou should be able to MEW up a sufficient kiln, and either Inoue or Keiko should be able to use a wind jutsu to act like a bellows. Wind wall should work if Hazou MEWS a frame to guide the wind into a kiln. )
I'd also like to make sure that Inoue and Akane have at least 5-6 sawdust bombs, to trigger with Hotaru or a lightning jutsu; Nobby has 5-6 mist bombs; Kagome has enough sawdust bombs to add one or two to each stupid box; and everyone has at least 2 of each type of macerator for mutual support or some other creative use.
Should take us making 20xSawdust, 16xMist, 12xScent, 12xPepper, and 12xFlashbang for a total of 72 seals, not including those sawdust seals for stupid boxes. Which should be a good day's work for Hazou assuming mats are gathered and research is finished.
- Location
- Atlanta
I had forgotten about that. I had been thinking of 1SB, but yeah, KRS should be easier to get to and gives us most of the benefit.
- Location
- Over there
No objections here. I think CPMSS doesn't need anymore research, unless you're talking about compressing it down to one seal. We just need Akane to make the safety case for it.
- Location
- Atlanta
Hmmm. Now I want to be able to make minor updates to the plan.
I was re-reading our latest conversation with Jiraiya and we never mentioned this. He probably has enough information to realize he has a leak in his organization, since we knew to go after the information at all, but this would still probably be useful to him in tracking it down.
I was re-reading our latest conversation with Jiraiya and we never mentioned this. He probably has enough information to realize he has a leak in his organization, since we knew to go after the information at all, but this would still probably be useful to him in tracking it down.
Omake: The Dice Gods Laugh
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Omake: The Dice Gods Laugh
Jiraiya sighed internally as the paranoid sealmaster started shouting again.
"You better not have your pet mindripper shred our brains!" Kagome yelled. "Or put lupchanzen in our ears! I have information stashed away about Leaf's secret lupchanzen farms, and the way you abduct kids and vivisect them for your own sick amusement, and all kinds of things! It'll all come out if anything happens to me, or if you rip our brains apart and sew them back together upside down so we're loyal to you, or if you turn any of us into meat puppets to use as chakra batteries, or if you—"
Mari finally managed to get a hand over Kagome's mouth. The genin all looked either confused or embarrassed. Agent Black stifled a giggle, and Agent White looked as impassive as ever. But Jiraiya?
Jiraiya had gone still. Everything kindly or grandfatherly had left his expression, and all that remained was a winter and steel. His teacup trembled ever so slightly as he set it back on its saucer.
"I see," he began simply, folding his hands on the table. "I would dearly love to know where you got your information, but a man like you won't have left his sources lying around. Can we come to a mutual agreement over this?"
Seven sets of eyes turned to him in confusion at various speeds as they realized what he was saying. Including Kagome's, but Jiraiya could see behind that mask, now that he was looking. There was no true confusion there, only the glee of a man whose greatest joy was to play such dastardly games as this, finally getting to play a card he had clearly been saving for a long time.
"Sir, what are you talking about? Surely you don't believe him? Konoha doesn't do anything like that, I'm not even sure what lupchanzen are," Agent White objected.
Jiraiya waved him off. "You'll understand when you're older. When you're up against a man this dangerous, no threat can be dismissed that lightly."
"What do you mean 'a man this dangerous'??" Agent Black cut in. "He's a sealmaster, sure, and probably not too bad in a scuffle, but he's so clearly lying. He has every tell in the book!"
"Exactly. He has every tell in the book. Tell me, what are the chances of that, if he was actually lying? When you play the game at this high of a level, everything is a signal, Agent. That's your lesson for the month." He turned back to Kagome. "Now, I believe we were going to talk deals?"
"I... um, yeah, leave my friends alone! And me too, leave me alone! No mindraping, or lupchanzen, or gaki!" the gaunt man managed to yell from under Mari's arm. Her hand had slipped from his mouth in shock.
Translation: "we no longer work for you, and don't push it". Jiraiya nodded. "That can be arranged. I would be interested in continuing to work with your team to put a stop to some of the things you mentioned. Though I don't know what some of them are, I suspect I know who is responsible."
"WHAT?? You know which stinker runs the farms? How do we know you're not working with them, huh?!"
"My team will work with you, and not for you, if you make it worth our while." Jiraiya nodded again. That was a good sign - they probably hadn't worked with Danzo, if they were willing to fight him. "I understand where you're coming from. What could I do to show you I was sincere?"
The other ninja were now staring open-mouthed back and forth between the two men. The Mori girl's eyes had glazed over as she tried to leverage her bloodline to understand what was happenning, and Hazou was twitching as he encoded all the details he could into his muscles for review later. Jiraiya made a mental note to commend them for their initiative later, as he thought back fondly to his own beffuddlement the first time he had watched two masters -- his sensei the Sandiame Hokage and the Raikage at the time -- play the game.
Kagome, after finally extricating himself from Mari's headlock (she had given up and was resting her face in her hands), looked over the other missing-nin for several long seconds. "Don't you dare contact us until the pangolins tell you we're healed up, and, um send a toad messenger with a dead lupchanz as a confirmation message. Yeah! Then I can finally prove to these guys that I'm not crazy."
"We're not gonna do it at less than full combat strength in case you betray us, and I want to see at least one corpse who was involved in the project and a verifiable Leaf nin before I even tell you where we'll be hiding. More details of our deal will be worked out after that." Jiyaiya thought to himself sadly that the second part might be all too easy if his suspicions were correct. "Would you be willing to accept healing from Hashimoto, my medic contact in Yuni? I can convince her to go with you and remain out of contact with for the duration. It would move up the time-table on this project significantly."
Kagome exploded. "You wanna stick a SPY in our camp, is that it you stinking stinker? Probably with a concealed communication array, I bet! And you even have the balls to--"
"Sensei, I don't think he's lying about her staying out of contact, and we do need the healing. It would allow Noburi time to train as well, so that we don't have to rely on Jiraiya's contact in the future."
The whole room shifted its attention to Hazou in shock that anyone else would speak. Jiraiya felt tentacles of ice-cold terror grip his throat as Kagome nodded reluctantly.
I don't believe it, he thought. The kid is the mastermind. But someone on that level wouldn't reveal it so blatantly unless...
Hazou turned to look at Jiraiya and smiled exactly the same smile as when he'd heard the Toad Sage himself would be teaching him Earth-element techniques. Briefly, Jiraiya glimpsed the boy's blue eyes and felt himself suspended over an abyss of unknowable terror.
...unless he wanted me to know it, he finished the thought with a gulp.
Jiraiya sighed internally as the paranoid sealmaster started shouting again.
"You better not have your pet mindripper shred our brains!" Kagome yelled. "Or put lupchanzen in our ears! I have information stashed away about Leaf's secret lupchanzen farms, and the way you abduct kids and vivisect them for your own sick amusement, and all kinds of things! It'll all come out if anything happens to me, or if you rip our brains apart and sew them back together upside down so we're loyal to you, or if you turn any of us into meat puppets to use as chakra batteries, or if you—"
Kagome, Deception (blackmail Jiraiya into not mindscanning/harming the team):
?d100: 100
Jiraiya, Deception (recognize that Kagome is lying his head off about having blackmail set up):
?d100: 25
Agents Black and White (recognize that Kagome is lying his head off about having blackmail set up):
?d100: 1407
?d100: 1058
?d100: 100
Jiraiya, Deception (recognize that Kagome is lying his head off about having blackmail set up):
?d100: 25
Agents Black and White (recognize that Kagome is lying his head off about having blackmail set up):
?d100: 1407
?d100: 1058
Mari finally managed to get a hand over Kagome's mouth. The genin all looked either confused or embarrassed. Agent Black stifled a giggle, and Agent White looked as impassive as ever. But Jiraiya?
Jiraiya had gone still. Everything kindly or grandfatherly had left his expression, and all that remained was a winter and steel. His teacup trembled ever so slightly as he set it back on its saucer.
"I see," he began simply, folding his hands on the table. "I would dearly love to know where you got your information, but a man like you won't have left his sources lying around. Can we come to a mutual agreement over this?"
Seven sets of eyes turned to him in confusion at various speeds as they realized what he was saying. Including Kagome's, but Jiraiya could see behind that mask, now that he was looking. There was no true confusion there, only the glee of a man whose greatest joy was to play such dastardly games as this, finally getting to play a card he had clearly been saving for a long time.
"Sir, what are you talking about? Surely you don't believe him? Konoha doesn't do anything like that, I'm not even sure what lupchanzen are," Agent White objected.
Jiraiya waved him off. "You'll understand when you're older. When you're up against a man this dangerous, no threat can be dismissed that lightly."
"What do you mean 'a man this dangerous'??" Agent Black cut in. "He's a sealmaster, sure, and probably not too bad in a scuffle, but he's so clearly lying. He has every tell in the book!"
"Exactly. He has every tell in the book. Tell me, what are the chances of that, if he was actually lying? When you play the game at this high of a level, everything is a signal, Agent. That's your lesson for the month." He turned back to Kagome. "Now, I believe we were going to talk deals?"
"I... um, yeah, leave my friends alone! And me too, leave me alone! No mindraping, or lupchanzen, or gaki!" the gaunt man managed to yell from under Mari's arm. Her hand had slipped from his mouth in shock.
Translation: "we no longer work for you, and don't push it". Jiraiya nodded. "That can be arranged. I would be interested in continuing to work with your team to put a stop to some of the things you mentioned. Though I don't know what some of them are, I suspect I know who is responsible."
"WHAT?? You know which stinker runs the farms? How do we know you're not working with them, huh?!"
"My team will work with you, and not for you, if you make it worth our while." Jiraiya nodded again. That was a good sign - they probably hadn't worked with Danzo, if they were willing to fight him. "I understand where you're coming from. What could I do to show you I was sincere?"
The other ninja were now staring open-mouthed back and forth between the two men. The Mori girl's eyes had glazed over as she tried to leverage her bloodline to understand what was happenning, and Hazou was twitching as he encoded all the details he could into his muscles for review later. Jiraiya made a mental note to commend them for their initiative later, as he thought back fondly to his own beffuddlement the first time he had watched two masters -- his sensei the Sandiame Hokage and the Raikage at the time -- play the game.
Kagome, after finally extricating himself from Mari's headlock (she had given up and was resting her face in her hands), looked over the other missing-nin for several long seconds. "Don't you dare contact us until the pangolins tell you we're healed up, and, um send a toad messenger with a dead lupchanz as a confirmation message. Yeah! Then I can finally prove to these guys that I'm not crazy."
"We're not gonna do it at less than full combat strength in case you betray us, and I want to see at least one corpse who was involved in the project and a verifiable Leaf nin before I even tell you where we'll be hiding. More details of our deal will be worked out after that." Jiyaiya thought to himself sadly that the second part might be all too easy if his suspicions were correct. "Would you be willing to accept healing from Hashimoto, my medic contact in Yuni? I can convince her to go with you and remain out of contact with for the duration. It would move up the time-table on this project significantly."
Kagome exploded. "You wanna stick a SPY in our camp, is that it you stinking stinker? Probably with a concealed communication array, I bet! And you even have the balls to--"
"Sensei, I don't think he's lying about her staying out of contact, and we do need the healing. It would allow Noburi time to train as well, so that we don't have to rely on Jiraiya's contact in the future."
The whole room shifted its attention to Hazou in shock that anyone else would speak. Jiraiya felt tentacles of ice-cold terror grip his throat as Kagome nodded reluctantly.
I don't believe it, he thought. The kid is the mastermind. But someone on that level wouldn't reveal it so blatantly unless...
Hazou turned to look at Jiraiya and smiled exactly the same smile as when he'd heard the Toad Sage himself would be teaching him Earth-element techniques. Briefly, Jiraiya glimpsed the boy's blue eyes and felt himself suspended over an abyss of unknowable terror.
...unless he wanted me to know it, he finished the thought with a gulp.
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- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Eh?
That's probably part of the notes on our employer + Mr Spy that Mari is going to hand off to Jiraiya.
We've been assuming not, at least not without some sort of protective jutsu. That was part of the issue with getting away from the patrols using PMYF a couple chapters back - we didn't have a way to decelerate safely after launching.
- Location
- Yes.
I AM SCREAMING IN FUCKING JIRAIYA
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States