It was no longer getting late. It was now getting early. Naruto had started to yawn. There was no possible way Mari would still believe (or plausibly pretend to believe) that he was here to chew Hazō out over some minor issue. Somewhere out there, Naruto Prime was already in bed and cursing Hazō's name while wondering what was taking so long.
But Hazō had just had another brilliant idea, and there would be no escape for his victim.
"I accept your terms," he began. "Kei and Kagome-sensei, assuming we can get first priority on Noburi's chakra."
"They're not my terms," Naruto said with weary impatience. "Hazō, I am trying to help you choose a team that will slip below Akatsuki's notice for as long as possible without sacrificing more effectiveness than we have to, and if we don't manage to thread that needle, we lose instantly. I'm also trying to explain all the trade-offs that go into each possibility, because those do matter. It's not just about handing Leaf resources over to you: the more valuable someone is to Leaf right now, the more suspicious it is when they leave on a long-term mission that's not even supposed to be particularly important.
"Believe me, if I thought I could give you everyone you wanted and it would mean that after a few months, boom! Akatsuki and Pain would just vanish forever, guaranteed, you'd be walking out of the gates of Leaf tomorrow with the entire Gōketsu Clan, all of Leaf's other summoners, and maybe a few hundred KEI ninja to keep you topped off on chakra. But if I actually do that, Leaf burns the next day.
"Ah, forget it. Sounds like we're just about done here anyway. Of course you're getting the chakra you need. Did you ever get the impression that Leaf doesn't have enough to go round?"
"Great," Hazō said. "In that case, can we take Hyūga Neji as well?"
"Sure," Naruto said lightly, "if you can get that asshole out of my village for a while, that'll be a fantastic–wait, what? You want to take along your worst enemy's strongest chūnin on the mission where you plan to give birth to a stack of massive new clan secrets?"
"The Hagoromo are our worst enemy," Hazō corrected him.
"Uh, no. They're just the loudest. When it comes to the actual threat to your clan, it's obviously the Hyūga. Did you miss all the ways they've screwed you and your clan over ever since you became clan head?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hazō said honestly. "Hinata and I have a pretty good relationship, and I'm fairly sure I'm in the process of swaying her towards greater cooperation."
Of course, he was also planning to trash her finances by exploiting their gemstone deal in bad faith, but that was a problem for tomorrow's Hazō, who wasn't in the middle of trying to save the world yet again.
Naruto stared at him. "OK, apparently one of the people in this room is way more perceptive than the other, and maybe it's a sign of how tired I am that I'm no longer 100% sure which one."
"Do you think it's an actual problem?" Hazō asked. "If I take him along and you make it clear how incredibly classified the whole thing is, will he betray the Gōketsu and reveal runecrafting to his clan?"
"Nah," Naruto said with a shake of his head. "Neji may have a stick up his ass the size of the God Tree, but he's loyal. I trust him to obey an explicit order. What I can't do, though, is promise he won't screw up. You know that saying, 'bars are the breeding grounds of espionage'?"
"We had 'bars are the spawning pools of treason'," Hazō said, "but I get the general idea. Ninja get drunk and slip up, and no matter how tiny the mistake, there's always an enemy of the state waiting to take advantage."
"I haven't exactly been watching Neji's drinking habits," Naruto said, "but I reckon you and I can agree that he's not the sharpest saw in the shed, socially speaking. He goes with you, he becomes an infoleak vector outside your clan. The Hyūga all become secondary vectors. And then your real problem is Hinata, because she got all the social skills in the family, and if he ever slips up, she will notice and know what to do.
"Why would you ever want him, anyway? You realise you'd be spending months at a time with Hyūga Neji as the majority of your human contact?"
"He's a powerful warrior and a summoner," Hazō said. He didn't actually have any idea what Neji's combat skills were like these days, but the title of 'Hyūga's strongest chūnin' suggested that he hadn't been slacking off since the Exams (which, come to think of it, he'd been disqualified from without ever having a chance to show Hazō what he was capable of). "With the Byakugan, he's perfect for countering trackers and ambushes, which will be some of our top threats out there.
"Besides," he added, "he can help us make ambushes of our own. At the point where we design a rune-based trap even he can't detect, we'll know we've struck gold."
"I guess that makes a kind of sense," Naruto agreed, "and it's not like I'm going to overrule you if you decide you're willing to risk your clan secrets in order to improve our odds against Akatsuki. It's weird to have a Hyūga randomly on a Gōketsu research mission, but we can just leak that you're researching, I dunno, seals that create tiny particles that you need to be able to keep track of or something. You're the sealmaster. You come up with something plausible and not too exciting."
"Plus he can reverse-summon out of the way of a sealing failure," Hazō added, "which is a really good thing for any research sealmaster's bodyguard to be able to do."
"Kinda sorta," Naruto said. "I remember Gramps once telling me a bedtime story about a summoner who did that, only the ground where he left had become so contaminated that he could never go back, and he had to live in exile on the Seventh Path forever. I think he was trying to cheer me up because I was being sad I couldn't be a summoner, but honestly, it just came out terrifying. Anyway, point is, sometimes it's better just to run.
"I'm happy to give you Neji. In fact, if it wasn't for the scroll, I'd be tempted to say keep him. What I can't do, though, is send out a team of four summoners. Frankly, even three is a gamble, and I was mostly counting on the fact that Kagome has a super low profile and news of the Arachnid Summoner leaving would take a while to spread. If you want Neji on the team, I'm going to have to ask you to drop Kagome or Kei. Hazō/Mari/Neji would be fine, obviously."
"Got it," Hazō said. "Please don't contact Neji just yet–I'll want to go over all this with Kei before making the final call."
"Yeah," Naruto said, grinning. "I wish I could be there to hear what she's got to say about that."
"Personal grudges aside, I hope she doesn't come up with anything veto-worthy," Hazō said. "The way I see it, S-rankers like Akatsuki have bottomless bags of tricks. Anything you throw at them, they can counter."
"Hold up," Naruto interrupted with a raised hand.
"What?"
"You absolutely can't think like that," Naruto said. "Trust me–I've been getting groomed to take out demigods since I was in my nappies. That isn't how combat works at the very top ranks. You've got the occasional Itachi, but mostly we pick a niche and stick to it. Take Aunt Sunny. She's got fists that cause earthquakes and crazy medical ninjutsu. Does she have ninjutsu and seals to cover for weaknesses in that arsenal? Of course she does; she's not dumb. Are those ninjutsu and seals on the same level as her specialities? Of course not. Why? Because at the core, all top-tier combat is offensive. Your goal is to bring your biggest strength together with the enemy and let it do its thing. Even if you're Orochimaru and your biggest strength is being unkillable, your goal is to make the enemy fail to kill you so you can use the opening to kill them back. The moment you try to fight defensively, you're using your secondary defences against their primary attacks, and things go downhill fast. So no, S-rankers don't have bottomless bags of tricks. What we have is a hell of a lot of skill at forcing you to face the best we've got."
"Fine," Hazō said. "But my point is that whatever S-rank defences the enemy has, whether it's a hundred or a handful, they're all reactive. If we want to bypass them, our weapons have to be too fast or too subtle to react to. That makes Neji's help invaluable. It also makes data on Itachi's precognition invaluable. There is no possible way to design a reliable anti-Itachi weapon if we can't make sure he doesn't see it coming. Lord Hokage, please. I need to know how the Sharingan works, at least in broad strokes–does it literally see the future? Can it spot an ambush about to happen even if there is no visible evidence whatsoever, or does it just pick up on tiny details and make predictions? How far ahead can it see–seconds? Minutes? How long can it be sustained, and is Itachi likely to have it running full-time? We need that information, and you'll be able to get it where Uchiha wouldn't listen to me."
Naruto winced. "When you put it that way, it's kinda hard to say no. I can't order Sasuke to give up clan secrets or Pain will be the least of Leaf's problems, but I'll see what I can get out of him. Just remember, anything he shares goes no further than you, and your research team if it's absolutely necessary."
"Thank you," Hazō said. "One last thing…"
"Promise?"
"Promise," Hazō said. "I mentioned the Toad Sages earlier, and I wanted to elaborate on that. I'm pretty sure they're sitting on major chakra- and Path-related secrets that would be extremely useful for developing anti-Akatsuki countermeasures. For example, I have an idea for a rune that would change the amount of energy, so to speak, that a certain amount of chakra is worth, making chakra effects more powerful for us or less powerful for Akatsuki in a wide area. At present, that's just an idea in my head. The Sages can probably tell me if it's possible, and maybe even give me some hints on how.
"Of course, right now Noburi and I are little more than some random chūnin to them. With runecrafting at such an early stage, I don't have much I can go to them with and say, 'Here, please teach me the kind of secret lore that Jiraiya earned by being a demigod'. But the closer we can make our relationship, the more likely they'll be to give me what I need."
Naruto shrugged. "Look, I'll get you your letter of recommendation, because at the end of the day, my goal is to support you in getting this mission done, not micro-manage what you do when you get out there. But frankly, I don't think you appreciate how much time training with those old curmudgeons is going to take if they decide to make a serious go of it. Sacrificing a big chunk of your very limited research budget for the sake of building rapport for the sake of lore that you don't know if they have or how far it'll let you skip ahead again… It's not a winning move from where I'm standing. Also, no offence, but you've got a solid track record on sealing research and a very swingy one on diplomacy. It bothers me to think that you're making one depend on the other.
"Ah, whatever. I can't wait to dispel myself and make all this Prime's problem. Though I guess I do have one tiny errand to take care of first…"
Hazō frowned at Naruto's sudden sly grin.
Naruto reached into his pockets and pulled out a rolled-up sheaf of papers. "This is my thanks to you. It's a combat seal that my dad used to use. It's called the Army of One seal, and it's a variation of the Academy Clone Technique. Basically, it surrounds you in illusory doubles that leap and feint and duck and dash and generally make it impossible for an enemy to get a bead on you. You'll need to research a copy that imitates your body instead of following these notes exactly, unless you want a dozen copies of my dad running around you. That said, his notes did mention that it was possible to research the seal again with different people's images, so maybe you could get it to benefit your whole clan."
Hazō took the papers. His mind was already whirling with possibilities.
"Now," Naruto asked, "are we done here?"
"We're done," Hazō said, aware that his work had only just begun.
-o-
We have technically now rolled over to the next day, but this is still the same conversation and XP awards are better saved for plans that cover more than the early morning.
"Mari, welcome!" Naruto said, offering her a genuine smile. "Come in, sit down. What can your Hokage do for you today that doesn't involve paperwork?" He shoved aside the stack of papers he'd been working on so that he could see her more clearly from where she stood at the door. Half the stack spilled onto the floor.
Isobe cleared his throat. It was a very meaningful throat-clearing; it packed minutes of stern and passive-aggressive disapproval into a single sound.
"Oh come on, Isobe," Naruto said, struggling to keep the whine out of his voice and not entirely succeeding.
"It's no trouble, sir. The mission can definitely go out tomorrow if you prefer not to provide the relevant authorizations now. I feel certain there will be no consequences to the delay."
"That's a relief! I thought you were going to say—"
"Certainly the Kazekage will be insulted, but I'm certain that can be smoothed over with sufficient generosity in the next trade negotiation. It probably won't cost us more than a few hundred thousand ryō over the next five years."
"Fine! Multiple Shadow Clone!"
Poof! "Aw man! Boss, why you gotta do me like this? Do you know how much it sucks to know that your entire purpose for existing is to review, initial, and sign some mission analysis?"
"Just do it!"
"I have to review and initial and sign mission reports so that he can talk to the hottie," the Naruto clone muttered as he swept the papers up, got them somewhat organized, and stumped out of the room.
Mari kissed him on the cheek as he went by, surprising the clone so much he jolted to a stop.
"Tell you what," she said with a wink. "You get the paperwork done while I talk to him and afterwards you and I can go get some ramen. I'm always up for lunch with a gentleman."
The paperwork clone's face split open in a smile. "Sweet. See you soon."
"Hey!" Naruto said.
"Yes?" Mari asked, eyebrows raised as she approached the desk and settled in opposite him.
"How come he gets taken out to lunch?" he asked, chinning towards where his clone had disappeared out the door along with Isobe.
"Taken out to lunch?" Mari demanded, hand on her bosom in shock. "Is he such a cad that he would make a lady pay for her own meal?" She shook her head slowly. "Naruto, you need to talk to your clones. They do not represent you well."
He didn't seem to know what to say to that.
"What can I do for you?" he asked after a moment.
"I wanted to talk about Noburi."
"Yes? What about him?"
"You had him refilling shadow clones for other ninja so they could train harder. I'm glad we can help Leaf like this, but it worries me a little and I was hoping you would reassure me on some things."
"It worries you? What worries you?" Naruto asked, confused.
"Well, like what it means for Noburi going forward. His entire life, he's only been valued for this one aspect of himself—the kids used to call him 'barrel boy'. He's a good kid and he knows how valuable his chakra transfer ability is, so he always does the job with a smile on his face, but he's really started to bloom lately and I don't want him collapsing back into self-doubt and a feeling of uselessness."
She paused, studying him for a moment. "Basically, how much do you intend to use his chakra transfer ability? Draining enough people to fill his barrel usually takes a reasonable amount of time—not the draining itself, just the getting them shuffled through part. It's not a big deal now, when you only have him helping a couple of people, but I'm trying to think ahead more these days. I can see a time when all the jōnin of Leaf are practicing full-time with shadow clones, all powered by Noburi, and that means he's spending hours a day draining genin so that he can top off the jōnin and their clones. Is he going to be able to have a career outside of that? Is he going to be able to take missions outside the city if it means he isn't there to enable those other people to train? Can he continue his studies? Apparently Tsunade is considering taking him on as a student; I doubt she's interested in a part-time student, so how do we balance his chakra transfer work with his other commitments?"
"I'm sure we can make it work," Naruto said.
She looked unhappy. "Don't take this the wrong way, Naruto, but that's not super reassuring. When you come to your Kage with a situation that's giving you some existential dread, you're really hoping for a more detailed answer."
He shrugged. "What do you want from me? This is all new and we're still feeling our way into it."
"Fair," she said. "Can you at least give me a sense of how many people you're likely to be fueling up from Noburi?"
"Probably...not that many," he said, shifting uncomfortably.
She narrowed her eyes. "With all due respect, you're looking sketchy right now. Are you thinking of using Noburi to empower the Hagoromo?"
"Wasn't considering it, no."
"But you're not ruling it out, either, yeah?"
"Yeah."
She shook her head uncomfortably. "Naruto...Lord Hokage...you absolutely have the right to order the Gōketsu on whatever missions you want. If you're going to claim that having Noburi refill other ninja is a mission then you have the right to do that. Still, it's going to taste pretty bitter if you use him to power up the Hagoromo or anyone else that we're at odds with. And it's not just them—all clans get into it now and again. Our Uplift ideas aren't popular with the conservative faction, but we're not going to give up on making the lives of Fire's citizens better in every way we can. If one of the conservative clans starts in on how we're being unnatural or whatever, are we still going to have to empower them even while we're actively fighting? Then there's the loss to Noburi himself, and to the clan...every minute that he spends draining people so that some other ninja can get more training time is a minute he didn't spend on his own training. Every scrap of chakra that goes to a Hagoromo didn't go to a Gōketsu."
"Do you honestly believe this is an issue?" Naruto asked, his tone chiding. "Come on, Mari. He's only refilling Sasuke and one or two others and the draining doesn't actually take that long. I can parade a bunch of genin through the room to get drained, Noburi tanks up Sasuke, boom. Five minutes, in and out. Hardly impacts Noburi's training time."
"If you're having him drain those genin dry, sure," she said. "If you want them to still be able to do their own training then he can only take a little bit from them, which means you need five or ten times as many. The time adds up." She bit her lip. "You know, that's actually an interesting option...have you thought about making 'chakra source' be an entire specialization?"
"You mean have ninja who don't do anything except donate chakra?" His face suggested he had just now seen a maggot in his food.
"No, hear me out. How many kids have the chakra system to go to the Academy but they can't cut the academics or the conditioning? Instead of washing them out completely, teach them how to train their chakra systems and send them on their way. They stay in Leaf where they aren't at risk of having our training secrets stolen—let's be honest, most people in Leaf never leave the city, so that's not hard. It gives Noburi a chakra source that doesn't impact any other ninja's capacity and, big plus, MSD ninja will have a way to contribute to the nation and earn some ryō."
"I've thought about it," he admitted. "There are some issues with it, but it's an interesting idea."
She cocked her head in surprise, then nodded. "Ah. You're worried about the effects on morale, and on the trust in doctors. If MSD ninja were compelled to be chakra sources then everyone would be worried that the medics might not work as hard to get them back on their feet. Especially the clanless—they're going to fear that the medics will prefer to do a quick fix that left them permanently MSD but functional as a chakra source, just so that the medic could move on to save a clan ninja." She considered. "Plus, you would end up with a two-tiered system, one group who get respect for doing missions and ones who only exist to power them up. The more often someone donates chakra, the more likely they are to get stuck in that second group. And if you're ordering them to donate then they'll worry that you are pushing them in that direction."
"Something like that, yes."
"Fair enough," she said. "Will you take a suggestion?"
"Sure, whatcha got?"
"Comes in two pieces: First, don't compel chakra donations. In fact, forbid their compulsion. Make a law that ninja can't be forced to donate their chakra by anyone—not their Clan Head, not their mission commander, not their sensei, not even by the Hokage except during wartime. People can voluntarily sell their chakra if they want but they don't have to worry about it being forced on them. If someone wants to have a safe career doing nothing but serving as a chakra source, they can and more power to 'em, but no active-duty ninja needs to worry about it."
He frowned.
"Forbidding the compulsion won't cause you any trouble," Mari continued quickly. "The people you want to get extra training are mostly jōnin already. They have plenty of money to pay people to come with them to the Gōketsu estate in order to sell their chakra."
"And the second part?" he asked.
"Let Noburi be valued appropriately for his skills. If a ninja goes on a mission, they get paid. If a ninja is hired to train someone, they get paid. Noburi's abilities are no different and he should be able to charge for them."
"You want me to pay Noburi to transfer chakra to my senior ninja so they can train more?"
"I want my son to see that his services are valuable to Leaf, in a measurable and tangible way. I want senior jōnin to speak respectfully to him when he helps them in the way that only he can. People respect those that get paid for their expertise, Naruto. Ebisu got more respect than the Academy teachers because Ebisu charged for his time while the Academy teachers were just there, an assumed part of the landscape." She chuckled and shrugged one shoulder. "And because he was a brilliant teacher, granted, but the point stands: people respect what they pay for and they don't respect things that are free. If you compel Noburi to perform chakra transfer then you are placing these other ninja above him, saying that their time is worth more than his. If you let us sell his time like any other ninja can then people will have to treat him with respect."
Naruto pondered that. "Isn't this already the case? I know you're buying chakra by posting missions on the board. Weren't you also getting paid to fill up jōnin during the war?"
"Yes, but under my proposal the person who needs the chakra pays for it. We'll still be buying plenty but it will be for our own training and our own projects. If Sasuke wants to get his clones filled up, he can round up a bunch of genin, pay them, and bring them to Noburi. Plus, we'll be able to set our rates and refuse service to clans who are actively opposing us."
Naruto looked dubious.
"We'll give the Tower preferential rates?" Mari offered with a smile.
"You'll give the Tower your service," Naruto said, a trace of cold in his voice.
She met his eyes with a disappointed tilt to her lips. "Yes, Naruto, obviously we will give you our service. You're the Hokage; if you give an order then we will obey. Still, you said it yourself a minute ago: this is all new and we're still feeling our way into it. What you do in the next few weeks will define your relationship with the Gōketsu going forward, and the way you treat us will send a signal to all the other clans as to how they should treat us. If you treat us like a resource to be exploited, the other clans will look down on us. If you treat us like an important clan with a valuable resource, they will treat us as an important clan with a valuable resource.
"I'm really only asking that Noburi be treated like everyone else. When you order Sakura and her team to do a beast extermination mission, they do the job and then they get paid for their time and their skills. When you order me to infiltrate the Kazekage's Dome, I'll do the job and then I'll get paid for my time and my skills. Treat Noburi the same way: if he's going to use his skills to benefit Leaf then he should be allowed to set a price."
Naruto rubbed his chin. "I dunno...seems like it favors the clan over the clanless again. The clan ninja will have a lot more money. Clanless might not be able to afford it."
She shrugged and laughed. "Naruto, have you met us? We're the Gōketsu. We are all about helping the clanless, and the civilians, and pretty much everyone who isn't trying to screw us over. We'll provide discounted rates for those we judge need it, and we can work out barter deals. There are lots of missions that we want to hire—mostly till'n'fills but plenty of other stuff. If someone wants to do missions for us instead of paying Noburi in cash, that's fine. Or if they want to sell us jutsu or seals then Noburi will give them unlimited transfers for some period of time."
"I...suppose that's not unreasonable," Naruto said slowly. "I'm at least willing to try it for a while."
"Thank you. Would you mind letting us work directly with the other clans? If you hire the job then it removes our agency and tells people that they don't need to worry about our opinion as long as they get on your good side. Basically, if Sasuke wants to get powered up, tell him to come to us himself instead of you doing it for him. Please?"
"Like I said, we'll try it. If you start pricing people out of the market then we'll need to reexamine it, but if you're being reasonable then it can work."
"Completely fair. It will be a good opportunity for both of us to figure out what our relationship is going to be going forward."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" There was a trace of frost in the words.
"Naruto," Mari said, "you're a new Hokage and no one in this village knows what to expect. We're all trying to figure out what our relationship is going to be with you. Are you going to be an autocrat who does whatever he wants and plays favorites? Are you going to listen to advice from those who have more experience on a subject than you do, or will you assume you know better because you're the Hokage? Will you reward service or merely expect it?" She raised both hands, palm up. "Like I said, we're all trying to figure out what our relationship is with you."
"Huh." He leaned back in his chair, studying her carefully. "I'm going to take a wild stab and say that you have some suggestions, now that you have so very carefully led the conversation around to this point."
She grinned. "Me? Lead the conversation? I am shocked! Shocked, I say!"
Naruto laughed and shook his head ruefully. "Out with it."
"Fine," she said crossing her legs and leaning back, fingers interlaced on her knee. "I don't think I have anything political to say that you don't already know. The Third and Jiraiya were better politicians than I'll ever be and I'm sure they taught you more than I'll ever know about that stuff. What I know is people, interactions on an individual basis. I know that the Gōketsu drained our coffers dry helping you get elected because we thought you would be the best choice for Hokage." She quickly raised a hand to cut him off. "Yes, yes, part of it was making sure that Hagoromo didn't get the hat, but we still strongly preferred you over Lord Akimichi.
"This is where we go back to that 'figuring out our relationship' stuff." She eyed him for a moment. "You're very hard to read, did you know that?"
"Huh?"
"I can't tell quite how you see us. In order to get the hat, you gave multiple S-rank jutsu to each of several moderate or conservative clans; the Gōketsu didn't get those despite spending our coffers empty to help you. When Hazō spoke to you about it, you listened to him, acknowledged that he had a point, and you gave him your father's seal as a thank you. It showed respect and acknowledged that we had done you a service, but it also showed that you felt one seal plus having you as Hokage was worth as much as the money we spent plus the jutsu the others got. Fair enough, maybe a good combat seal from the Fourth Hokage really is worth that much. Maybe there's enough seal theory information in the notes that it will add value of its own. It feels like being taken for granted a bit but, okay. You're the Hokage. You should be able to take the support of your ninja for granted.
"Then you come to us when you need a high-priority research mission done. It's important enough that Hazō is dropping everything and leaving for months. That's not something you ask of any random Tanaka off the street, that's something you ask of someone you trust. An ally."
She raised both palms in confusion. "I don't understand how I'm supposed to act. One part of me thinks that you recognize our value and want us to be allies, a clan who believes in your vision, actively looks for ways to support you, and takes initiative to make it happen. Another part thinks that you want us to stay out of your hair and just be like all the other clans—spend our time pursuing our own advantage, take initiative only in support of ourselves, don't cause trouble, and follow orders."
"I think the clans do a little more than follow their own advantage, Mari," Naruto said, amused.
"Not really, no. Who fed the hungry? Us. Who supplies free explosive tags and other seals to anyone who wants them, thereby boosting survival rates? Us. Who teaches basic education for anyone who wants to show up, civilian or clanless or clan? Us. Who runs a free medical clinic to handle what Leaf General can't? Us. Who thought that helping the outer villages would help all of Fire and therefore would help make new ninja for Leaf? Us.
"The clans, and for the most part the KEI, care about the nation, sure," she continued, "but they don't actively devote themselves to building it up. They see their military service as the sum total of what they owe to Leaf and anything else is the Hokage's job to figure out and organize. They aren't proactive like we are."
"Your 'proactive' can be another person's 'troublesome'," Naruto said with a small smile.
"Hey! Bad Naruto, no biscuit! 'Troublesome' is Shikamaru's word and you're not allowed to steal it!"
He laughed. "I think there are some real holes in your position, but let's roll with it. You're clever and proactive and eager to serve Leaf. The other clans, many of whom literally built the place, are stodgy old stumps who don't feel the need to do anything useful. What of it?"
She shrugged. "I'm saying that it's your choice what you want the Gōketsu to be to you. We're loyal and we'll follow your orders. If you want us to be another group of soldiers, we're happy to do that. We would prefer to be more."
"Such as?"
She shrugged again. "We have our agenda, just like every clan does. We want to exalt our own people, just like they do. The difference is that our definition of 'our own people' is wider than theirs—it covers at least everyone in Fire." She thought about that for a moment, head tipped. "Maybe not Lord Hagoromo. He can go suck farts." That startled a bark of laughter from the teenage boy across from her; she flashed him a grin and then continued. "I think your agenda lines up pretty well with ours overall, but I don't know what your priorities are. Tell us what you're focused on, big picture, and we can start creating ways to make it happen." She raised a finger in warning. "We won't compromise our own principles for it. If you want to exterminate every human in Earth Country, we're going to have a problem. Fortunately, I don't think that's going to be an issue. Based on what I know about you, genocide isn't a very Naruto thing to do."
"It's not, no. I notice that you didn't have any problem burning a city before this. That's not genocide?"
"You're talking about Nagayama? Yes, Asuma ordered Akane to do that and she obeyed. It was a war, not a time to be arguing with lawful authority. It almost destroyed Akane and I don't want to see any of my other kids go through that again. If you ever order one of them to commit genocide, I am going to tell them to stand down while you and I go at it until you see that it's counterproductive and you withdraw the order." She smiled a half-smile. "Or until you get so tired of arguing with me that you withdraw the order just to shut me up."
Naruto smiled back, slightly. "Fortunately for all concerned, I wasn't planning on ordering any cities burned in the near future."
"Good. Now, seriously, how can we help?"
Naruto studied her for ten long seconds, rocking his chair slightly back and forth on the rear legs the whole time. Finally, coming to a decision, he brought it back upright and leaned forward, hands laced together, and began to speak.
By the time they finished, it was too late to take NarutoPaperPusher out for ramen.
There's another scene to do in which Hazō goes to the Toad Sages. It's late, I'm tired, I'll do that one for tomorrow, maybe.
"Hello, boys," Shima said. "Come in, come in. I just made some spice tea. Let me know what you think!" She waved them along into the home of the Toad Sages.
Hazō and Noburi were both trained ninja with years of experience in combat situations. They had excellent situational awareness, honed over years of danger until it amounted to virtually a sixth, and perhaps even a seventh, sense.
At the friendly words of the toad matron, all of that experience and all of that awareness screamed DANGER.
Without thinking about it, Hazō and Noburi drifted half an armspan apart: close enough for mutual support, not so close as to get in the other's way. Their steps shifted into a combat rhythm, feet staying in contact with the ground, weight deep in the hips as they moved.
Shima seemed completely oblivious as she led them to the table where Fukasaku waited. She waved them to a pair of seats and poured four cups of tea. When she turned to take her seat, Fukasaku waved his webbed hands frantically, looking meaningfully to the tea and then rolling his eyes back in his head, tongue lolling out in simulated death.
And then Shima was on her chair and facing them again and Fukasaku looked completely normal.
"Let me know what you think," Shima asked, excited. She took a sip of her own tea, pinky finger extended, and sighed in satisfaction. "Ahhhhh."
Nervously, Hazō and Noburi picked up their own cups and raised them to their hostess. "Health," they said in unison. And then they sipped, in unison.
The tea went down Hazō's throat like a blob of lava. It felt like his teeth were melting and he was certain that he could taste his tongue burning away. It hit his stomach and declared war, knives out and slashing.
"Smooth," he gasped, eyes watering and face flaming with heat.
Shima beamed with pride. "You like it? It's a new recipe. Cinnamon, anise, and some of those peppers from Pangolin to add a bit of warmth."
"Delicious," Noburi managed, setting the tea back down and wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
"What do you think, Pa?"
Fukasaku's smile was sickly but he raised the cup to his lips. From where Shima sat it must have looked like he sipped, but Hazō could see the tea strike a wall of chakra repulsion before it could enter his mouth. It flowed along his cheek, around his squat neck, and was absorbed by his robe.
"You have outdone yourself again, Ma," the old toad said, setting the cup back down. "Never tasted anything like it, and I'm sure it'll be popular. Still, I prefer your last recipe. It was the first thing you ever made for me and it brings back good memories."
"Awww!" The toad matron blushed. "You're so sweet, Pa. Well, at least the boys liked it. I'll be sure to have more on hand next time you come."
Hazō sincerely evaluated the benefits of death's sweet release before deciding that no, he still had too much paperwork waiting for him.
"What can we do for you boys?" Pa said. Undoubtedly out of a desire to be helpful and not in any way to move the conversation away from the death fire that was Ma's tea.
"Sir, ma'am," Hazō began, "I came to ask your help. I'm not sure how much Noburi has told you about Akatsuki?"
"A bit," Fukasaku said. "But please, feel free to expand."
Shima shot him a furrow-browed look. "What are you doing, old goat? You never want to hear them expand. You're always too busy hustling them out."
"I'm in a good mood, Ma," he said.
"Uh-huh."
"I'm allowed to be in a good mood!"
"Are you trying to delay me serving lunch? You could have just said you didn't want any of my pasta!"
"I want your pasta, you loopy dingo! I'm just in a good mood and I want to hear the boy talk!"
"You never—"
"You're always wanting me to try new things! Fine, I'm trying new things. I'm trying to learn how to pretend I'm interested while the boy does his blah blah blah! It might help the next time you start talking about weaving!"
"Don't you criticize my hobbies you fat old idiot! You don't hear me telling you how stupid those old scrolls of yours are, do you?"
"Excuse me, sir? Ma'am?" Hazō asked. "Please, this is very important to me."
Shima harumphed but folded her arms. "Fine. Go on, boy."
"Thank you, ma'am." In quick, carefully prepared words, he laid out the nature of Akatsuki. Their dominance over the nations, their murder of Asuma, their prior ritual and the risks posed if they resurrected Pain and once more tried to make humanity 'better'. The impotence of the nations to control them, and Naruto's desperation. Everything, including the mission he was being sent on.
"Sounds like a right drama," Shima said when he finished. "What's it to us?"
"We need your help," Hazō said plainly. "I know there's nothing I can do to compel you or even influence you." He smiled, small and rueful. "I looked for a way. I thought about bribing you, and then I realized that people as powerful and influential as yourselves can get anything you want without needing me.
"I thought about trying to frame this as reciprocity—Noburi and I were instrumental in saving the Seventh Path from the Dragons and so won't you help us save the Human Path? Then I realized that you don't owe us anything for that. We did it for our own reasons—yes, in part to save our friends among the Dogs and Toads and other clans, but also to retain our power as summoners.
"I talked and talked with my clan, looking for any angle I could find and realized there isn't one. All I can do is come to you on bended knee, begging for your help."
"Yes, yes, whatever," Fukasaku said, waving a hand. "A lovely bit of sucking up but you still haven't said what you actually want!"
"I want you to train us," Hazō said, gesturing to himself and Noburi. "You trained Jiraiya and it turned him into a titan, quite possibly the most powerful ninja alive at the time except for Pain. We need to be strong enough that people have to respect us. I need to know technique hacking so that I can create the tools I need to recover Jiraiya, and Akane, and everyone else we care about. Everyone in Leaf who knows you says that you are the greatest masters of jutsu creation and modification that anyone has ever seen, far better than the humans we have access to. Please, I desperately need that expertise. Will you help us? Take us as your disciples and train us."
Hazō found that he had been leaning forward, intensity in his face, so he sat back. It was important to give them space to think, Mari had said.
The two old toads looked at one another, a conversation flashing past in the tilt of a head, the raising of an eyebrow, and the knowledge of one another built up over the course of a marriage that had persisted longer than reliably recorded human history.
"We retired from teaching years ago," Fukasaku grumbled. "Teaching humans is a pain in the tongue, and you die so fast that it's hardly worth it. Just as we're getting you to a decent level of power you kick the bucket from old age. It's frustrating, seeing all that work go to waste."
"Plus, it takes so much time," Shima added. "Whenever we train a human we have to set everything else aside. And you're always so aggravating with your 'ow ow ow I can't do any more pushups' and 'this jutsu is too complicated' and 'help, help, I'm turning to—"
"Bup!" Fukasaku said. "Not that."
Amazingly, Shima looked chastened and sketched a vague wave of apology instead of snapping back at him.
"Please," Noburi said. "I'm the Toad Summoner but I'm not old enough to do right by the clan, and—"
Shima held up a hand. "Don't interrupt. We didn't say we wouldn't teach you, we just said that we had retired and that teaching you lot is a pain."
"Let's imagine, just for the sake of amusement, that we were going to consider this," Fukasaku said with a sniff. "Why do you need jutsu creation training?"
"It looks like the Fourth Hokage figured out how to create effects that are half jutsu, half seal," Hazō said. "Some of his work is relevant to opening the rift, so I need to be able to understand it."
"Why can't you just work with an experienced jutsu master?" Shima asked. "You provide the seal knowledge, he provides the jutsu knowledge."
Hazō shook his head. "No good. The seal work and the jutsu work are tightly woven together, not separate things that interact. We would spend so much time explaining the contributions of our discipline to each other that it will be faster for me to learn jutsu theory myself." He paused, debating with himself. "I'd be glad to show you the material, if you'd like. It's an entire new paradigm of chakra manipulation."
"Hm," Fukasaku said, pretending at disinterest and failing.
"Hmph. And you couldn't learn this on your own?" Shima demanded. "Jutsu creation, I mean."
"I've been studying it," Hazō said, "but I'm being ordered to leave the village now, so I won't be able to finish my course of instruction. I need someone expert enough to teach me to a high standard, and it needs to be someone on the Seventh Path so that I can work with them even while I'm out of the city." He paused, then hastened to add, "I considered asking my jutsu teacher to come with me but it's not practical for a variety of reasons."
Shima frowned, an impressive sight given the size of her lips and the shocking purple of her lipstick.
"Me, I need ninja training," Noburi said. "I need to be the badass that the Toad Summoner should be. In part so that the Toad Clan looks good in front of the other summoners and everyone else on the Human Path. In part because, when we go after Akatsuki, Hazō is going to need a badass beatstick to cover his back while he's making and deploying seals and runes and whatnot."
"Hm," said Fukasaku, meeting eyes with his wife for a moment. The old toad was leaned back in his chair, tiny arms folded across his tiny chest, pipe clenched powerfully in his mouth as he puffed furiously away. The smoke gathered in a tight cloud above his head, refusing to drift around the room and inconvenience anyone else.
"It would be good to have someone strong again," Shima said, her voice speculative. "I didn't want to say anything, but it is a bit embarrassing."
Fukasaku sighed, long and drawn out. "I do want to see this 'new paradigm'"—he made air quotes around the words and his voice became mocking—"but training them is just such a bother!"
"I know, I know," Shima said. "We could switch off, I suppose."
"Ugh."
"Look on the bright side. If the new stuff is boring or he can't keep up, you kick him out. And if the Summoner washes out then we tell Naruto-brat to get us a new one."
Fukasaku's eyes lit up in a way that Hazō found worrisome.
"If we're telling the brat anything, we could tell him to send a jutsu hacker and a jōnin trainer along with them," Fukasaku said. "They should be able to learn everything they need from a human just as easily as from us."
"Sir, I really can't," Hazō said quickly. "This mission needs to be very unremarkable. Supposedly it's just me and Kagome-sensei going off to do some research, with maybe one or two close family going along for a vacation. If we start bringing unrelated ninja with us, that puts the whole cover story into question. If Akatsuki starts asking questions and gets suspicious, they could end up using our family as hostages to force us to come home and turn over everything we've created."
Shima sighed gustily and Hazō struggled not to wince.
The two Sages held another silent conversation of expression.
"Fine," Shima said at last. "We'll take you on."
"Yes!" Noburi and Hazō both said, Noburi pumping a fist and Hazō throwing his hands in the air.
"—on a trial basis!" she continued. "We aren't committing to what we did for Jiraiya. That little brat took years to get to a remotely decent level. We'll take you on for a few weeks."
"Basically, if you piss us off or slack on the training, you're out," Fukasaku said, puffing on his pipe. "We'll expect some serious dedication."
"No problem," Hazō said. "If it's okay—"
"And we aren't doing general training with you," Fukasaku said, poking Hazō with the stem of his pipe. "You get jutsu creation training and be grateful for it. You should be going to Cannai or one of his people for training, not us, but I want to see this 'new paradigm' of yours."
"Also, you don't get general training because becoming 'a badass beatstick' is for our summoner." She gave Noburi a smile that carried portents of doom, sweat, and tears along with it.
Noburi looked to Hazō, one eyebrow raised in an implied 'do we keep arguing?' Hazō shook his head.
"That will be absolutely fine," he said. "Thank you very much. Would it be all right if I started a week from now? Like I said, I'm going on this research trip and I need a few days to get everything in place and get to the site."
"Fine, fine," Shima said, waving a hand. "I expect you can start immediately, boy?" She poked Noburi in the bicep.
"Yes, ma'am." Noburi started to stand up, only to stop when Fukasaku waved him down.
"She didn't mean right this second," the old Sage said. "We'll start tomorrow. Bright and early."
"Yes, sir! And thank you, sir!"
"Truly," Hazō said. "I can't tell you how much we appreciate this."
Shima sniffed. "As you should. Now, drink your tea while I get the pasta ready."
Author's Note: You asked Kagome about bringing Neji. He was very glad that you consulted him before making the decision; he said that no, he does not want Neji along unless there's an actually important reason. Hazō said 'well, his cheating eyeballs can help us make stealth runes', to which Kagome said 'eh, make the runes first and then add the stealth ability.' You can override him in the next plan but you will need to exclusively vote that in.
Second note: I originally wrote this on the assumption that we were going to jump ahead to the 'they have left the city' part, hence why I did the Naruto/Mari conversation which was supposed to happen after Hazō left the city. In retrospect that was an invalid assumption. Go ahead and vote in whatever other prep you want to do before the team departs. Once the departure update has happened (however many chapters that might be) we will repost the Naruto/Mari chapter with an updated chapter number so that the timeline doesn't get wonky. Please do not do anything that would influence that conversation.
Third Note, take heed: This took long enough to come out that the voting cycle would be too short to be practical. As such, this will be the Thursday update and we will have an extra-long voting cycle.
"Come in," Tsunade called through the brass-studded walnut door, her sharp voice barely muffled by the solid wood.
Noburi entered and quietly removed his barrel and the Toad Scroll, as Tsunade looked up from her papers.
"It's you," she said. "Your brother promised me money, and Shizune is asking about it. Tell him to sell off whatever damn gemstones he needs to, because lives are on the line if Shizune can't source the medicine she needs to deal with the coalbelly sweeping through southern Fire."
"I'll let him know, ma'am. Is that all?" Noburi asked. The messenger that had called him to the hospital had been scared halfway to death (thankfully, Gaku had a remarkable collection of peppermint tea to calm her down), so Noburi decided fewer words meant less chances to piss Tsunade off.
Tsunade scowled. "No, that's not all. You, for whatever reason, are the talk of the town. Everyone's stumbling over themselves to tell me what an amazing medic you are and how stupid I am for not taking you as an apprentice. I'm sick of it.
"You're not an amazing medic. I tested you, and you fucked up the surgery on that guy's leg, and he was going to bleed out if I didn't step in. You don't make the cut. You understand that, right?"
Noburi tried to keep his pain off his face. "I understand that, ma'am."
"Good," she said, expression still dark. "Then why are people shoving you in my face all the time? Have you been pulling strings and spending favors? Because you have to know what happens when I feel like someone's trying to manipulate me. They only ever try once."
"No, Tsunade," Noburi said. "I haven't been trying… anything, really. I've just been working at the hospital and studying the materials you gave me. Have I done anything wrong?"
"You…" Tsunade fixed him with his glare, and Noburi had to look down. When he looked back, her expression was softening – less diamond and more solid steel.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong," she said with a slight sigh. "Fine. I've made my decision."
"You're not going to be my apprentice, so don't get ahead of yourself. But you're… you're a decent medic. I've seen you work. And by the look of it, you've spent a lot of time practicing with your bloodline, which looks pretty useful for hospital work.
"I've been… convinced," Tsunade said, with her voice bitter like thistle, "that your bloodline has potentially valuable medical applications that are far from fully explored. So, I intend to explore it. We're going to spend the next several months studying your bloodline, trying to figure out what it does and how it does what it does. I'll work with you to develop new unique medical ninjutsu, and if we're lucky, we'll come up with something truly incredible. Worst-case, you get some jutsu and a much better understanding of your bloodline. Is that clear?"
Apparently, Tsunade had taken it upon herself to fulfill his greatest dreams as a Wakahisa-born medic instead of leaving Leaf yet again. And sure, it wouldn't be an apprenticeship by name, but given how much he'd learned during his last time shadowing her around, he had no doubt that he'd advance by leaps and bounds while working personally with the world's greatest medic-nin. Except…
"That sounds incredible," Noburi said honestly. "But the Toad Sages have offered to train me-"
"Oh, fuck off," Tsunade said. "Tell those old geezers I told them that. I'm going to be in Leaf for the next few months no matter what, and I don't appreciate having my time wasted, Noburi. Either you're going to show up at the Senju estate tomorrow morning so we can start figuring out your bloodline, or you're going to go figure out a way to make sure that your damned name never gets spoken within my earshot again. Got it?"
So, either permanently torpedo his relationship with Tsunade, or scorn the incredibly prideful Toad Sages' offer of training to work on the medic skills that they didn't really respect. Fantastic.
"Understood, ma'am," he said. "I'll let you know by tonight."
"Good," she said. "Dismissed."
o-o-o
"Hazō," Naruto said, glancing up from the technique scroll he had been studying in the tiny, cramped Tower meeting room. The meeting room was actually a decent size, but was overtaken by a tropical-looking tree in a large pot in the corner whose broad, waxy leaves filled most of the head-height area of the room.
Naruto noticed Hazō studying the plant and shrugged apologetically. "It was a gift from the Noodle Country ambassador who was here last week, and this was one of the sunnier rooms where I could have put it. Just watch the roots. They get excited when they smell a new person."
Hazō blinked in surprise as he saw a few gnarled roots poke out of the soil and orient themselves towards him. He shook it off and took his seat.
"Have you spoken to Shinji about his public brawling yet?" Naruto asked.
"Actually, not yet," Hazō said.
"Damn it, Hazō! This shit matters, if you want to be a decent clan head. You can't just ignore everyone in your clan until they become a problem."
"In fairness," Hazō said, crossing his arms, "I've been busy preparing for my mission."
Naruto nodded, faux-anger fading off his face. "I know, sorry. A couple clones just finished setting up the privacy seals."
"And I did talk to Shinji, though it's hard to be too mad at him when I know you were the one who set him up," Hazō said. "I'm just finishing up a couple things that I figure you ought to know about."
"Right, that makes sense," Naruto said. "If you'll give me a second…"
A short sequence of ninjutsu later, Naruto leaned back in his chair. "What's up?"
Hazō looked away from the roots that were steadily creeping towards him on the floor. "Two things. First, I know you asked me not to give Orochimaru any of your father's original work, but I want to try trading the initial seals in your father's jinchūriki seal chain in exchange for some more chakra-conductive stone for runecrafting. Those seals are useful for building up skills in advance of the rift project, and if I needed the experience, Orochimaru will definitely benefit from it. Don't worry, there's nothing particularly useful in there, just some chakra sensing stuff that I'm sure he already has better versions of, and I'll give him Gōketsu-copied notes rather than your father's stuff so he hopefully won't be able to tell that it's connected to the Fourth Hokage."
Naruto sighed. "Yeah, I'd prefer if you didn't, given that my dad's seals are apparently something really special if I read Asuma's notes right. That said, I trust you can manage the OPSEC appropriately, and if you need the fancy rocks, who am I to second guess you? Just make sure you actually hand over the core rift stuff that Orochimaru needs, okay?"
"Got it," Hazō said. "The second thing is actually related to that."
"Oh?" Naruto asked.
"The thing is… the rift seals are clan secrets, per the agreement I made with Asuma. I realize the fate of the world is at stake, so I'm going to trade them to Orochimaru willingly, but I just wanted to let you know that otherwise, this would have been you ordering a clan head to disclose clan secrets."
Naruto raised his eyebrow. "Really, Hazō? You want to go there?"
"I'm not going anywhere," Hazō said, stifling a faint hint of amusement at the similarity of Naruto and Asuma's reactions. He kicked the roots away from where they were trying to wrap around his ankles. "I'm not trying to make any fuss, I just wanted to let you know what exactly you're asking me to do."
Naruto shook his head. "First of all, come on. I've seen enough of you trying to squeeze jutsu and seals out of solid stone that I'm sure you'd be trying to do the same to me right now if it weren't for the fact that you have no real negotiating position without going to the Clan Council and blowing a bunch of important secrets sky-high. Honestly, I'm not even sure they'd side with you – Asuma had a soft spot for you, and he probably shouldn't have let you take Tower seals and make them a clan secret. People might not like the favoritism."
"The notes were Tower property, and we didn't make them our clan secret," Hazō said. "It was just the seals we made with our own work, that no one outside our clan could make. That's normal, and that's just how clan secrets work."
"That's not how it works when any other sealmaster decides to take research notes from the Tower, but whatever," Naruto said. "The big thing is – that's my dad's stuff. I respect the Third a ton, but I don't agree with his decision to take big chunks of my dad's sealing work and make it property of Leaf. That's clan secret theft, plain and simple. Sure, the Third had reasons for it, but… why in the world would I think Asuma would be able to let you claim my dad's stuff as your clan secrets?
"Actually, picture this. Some tragedy happens to, say, the Nara Clan, and the Hokage decides to take copies of some of their shadow jutsu for preservation – whatever, just assume the reason for taking the jutsu makes sense. Later, a different Hokage decides to hand out those jutsu to another clan so they can make modifications. After all, it's not like the jutsu are being used otherwise, right? Lastly, the other clan comes back, saying that their modified shadow jutsu are their own clan secret, that no one else has a right to. Technically? Okay, sure, it matches the dictionary definition of a clan secret. But how are people going to think about it in practice? How is a hypothetical Nara Hokage going to feel?"
"I see," Hazō said. "I don't think the Nara Hokage would feel very charitable to the other clan. Thank you Naruto, I think I understand better now."
Naruto leaned back in his chair. "Good. I don't want to be an asshole about this, or run back Asuma's decisions too much. As long as you're making progress towards recreating my jinchūriki seal, feel free to reap all the benefits of the intermediary seals for your clan, no tithe to the Tower required. But I should make expectations clear – as long as you're working on my dad's stuff, I expect that you'll actually comply with my reasonable orders about what to do with it. And like you said, 'the fate of the world' is a pretty good reason for me to ask you to share your seals. Are we in agreement there?"
"We are, sir," Hazō said, standing and bowing, almost hitting his head on a broad leaf. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a couple more roots crawling up the back of the chair towards his neck.
"Good," Naruto said. "Good luck with the rest of the preparations for your mission. Let me know if you need anything else."
o-o-o
Once Orochimaru had given Noburi the basic training exercises for forming chakra scalpels in the bright and sunny training field as far from the Basement as reasonably possible within Leaf, the Sannin didn't bother talking with Hazō. Instead, he efficiently set up a perimeter of privacy seals. A hemisphere around an unassuming patch of grass was turned into a warped, distorted haze, and Orochimaru looked at Hazō expectantly, then disappeared into the dome.
"Looks like I need to go talk with him," Hazō said. "I'll try to do it in terms he understands. Hopefully I don't get eviscerated."
Noburi grunted, staring down at his hands with intense focus, where pale green wisps were periodically appearing and failing to coalesce into any kind of scalpel. "Good luck with that."
"Thanks, bro," Hazō said. Kei had already struck a few lines from Hazō's conversational flowchart that she had deemed likely to traumatize Noburi, given the way that Noburi would have had to scrape Hazō's organs off the grass in order to get Hazō to cremation. Hazō still planned to ask questions close to Orochimaru's core identity, if in a more gentle way. He couldn't predict what would happen.
"Given recent revelations," Orochimaru said as Hazō entered the warped and hazy hemisphere, "I have taken the liberty of bringing my privacy seals despite your brother's refusal to meet in a suitably secure location. I am certain that additional time thusly gained will be used on a matter of great import that you have previously hidden from me: the imminent resurrection of Pain."
"Yes, Lord Orochimaru. In fact, I'd first like to discuss that matter. Here is the research work that Naruto has ordered us to give up to you," Hazō said, laying down a thin stack of papers on the table – the work of a single week studying the first of Kagome's sketched-out rift seals. "Here is additional, highly valuable preliminary and preparatory work we did ahead of working on the main rift seals." He laid down a second stack of paper, easily ten times larger – all of Kagome's original research notes for the first eight seals in the Fourth Hokage's jinchūriki seal chain, produced over the course of six months.
Hazō would have traded his own research notes instead, but Akatsuki had stolen his originals and Hazō hadn't had the time to make new copies. As it was, after copying out his recalled progress on the initial rift seal from months ago (unfortunately, he'd done the research with a shadow clone, so the Iron Nerve hadn't helped him much), he'd spent all day reviewing Kagome's work and expunging any reference to the Fourth Hokage, further seals in the chain, and any possibility of a connection with technique hacking. It had left quite a few holes. Hazō could only hope he'd gotten all of it.
"I'd like to trade this additional preparatory work, along with the otherwise-secret location of a rift in Iron suitable for basic experiments, in exchange for more substrate for runecrafting. Perhaps however much substrate you can produce from five of Noburi's barrels?"
Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. He reached across the table, claiming Hazō's very thin notes on the rift seals and flicking through them with impressive alacrity. After a few seconds of review, he set the notes down and reached for the second, larger stack. He stopped himself before he grabbed it, then turned his outstretched hand around to display his open palm.
"If you would," Orochimaru asked. "That I may judge the quality of what you are bargaining over."
Reluctantly, Hazō handed Orochimaru the stack.
Orochimaru flipped through the papers, slowly at first, then rapidly accelerating once he hit the second seal and realized they were just more research notes for more seals. Finally, he set the stack down.
"I sent Kabuto to ask about and determine why exactly Akatsuki would be so interested in you," Orochimaru said, voice almost airy in a way that made Hazō shudder. "Imagine my surprise when I'm suddenly accosted by the Hokage, who insists on explaining a certain, now-familiar affair with Akatsuki, and Pain, and you. How strange it was that only when Kabuto asked basic questions about rare and secret knowledge known only to the entirety of Leaf's buffoon clan heads did someone deign to inform me.
"I appreciate that the baseline odds of something worth my time happening in Leaf are so low that I am willing to accept the risk of occasionally overlooking such things in exchange for peace during my research. Perhaps I will even grant that the resurrection of Pain, wielder of the Rinnegan, is something that could be competently prevented without my intervention. However, I find this course of events, wherein my aid is clearly helpful, yet deliberately evaded by intentional omission, only to be demanded by mewling infants moments before I would otherwise discover the problem myself, frankly reprehensible.
"You are just as invested as I am in preventing the return of Pain. You will give me your uncle's seal notes, and you will be grateful that I am not taking action against you for increasing the risk of Pain's return. Unless you believe I have perhaps misconstrued the situation…?"
Hazō couldn't lie to Orochimaru and say that he'd forgotten to tell him. Hazō had obviously been hiding it, apparently Orochimaru knew that the whole Clan Council knew, and he was offended. But…
"You're right," Hazō said. "My apologies. But I do require additional substrate to complete my runecrafting research."
Orochimaru took the stack of notes and blanks and folded it over, making Hazō wince slightly, before tucking it away in a pocket. "I am right, and I have neither interest nor time to expend hundreds of genin's-worth of chakra making rocks for you. I have taught you the requisite technique. If you need substrate in a shorter term, you may give me some storage seals and I shall have Kabuto fill them with the scraps I have lying around."
Hazō wordlessly reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of a hundred storage seals. Byakuren's mast, having sealing minions could be really nice – it had been over a year since Hazō had to scribe his own storage or explosive seals.
Orochimaru took the stack of far-more-storage-seals-than-reasonable. Did Hazō detect a hint of sourness on the older man's face?
"Kabuto will see to it," Orochimaru said. "Now, let us discuss the O'uzu Island rift. I require your first-hand testimony, and I remind you that the penalty for withholding information, if not exacted by myself, will be exacted by Pain. Describe, in as much detail as you are able, the conditions of rift's formation…"
o-o-o
What felt like hours later, Orochimaru finished grilling Hazō about the rift, Hazō's research into it, and what exactly Akatsuki had taken. The older man had left to check in on Noburi's progress, leaving Hazō to think.
"With that additional time to reflect," Orochimaru said as he returned, "have you identified any further information that would aid me in researching the O'uzu Island rift and averting Pain's return?"
"No, Lord Orochimaru" Hazō said. "I've told you everything you need to know that's not in the research notes."
Orochimaru nodded. "Your brother has made satisfactory progress on chakra scalpels, sufficient that he will likely be able to finish learning the technique on his own. He has begun learning the paired pain manipulation techniques. You will now discharge the rest of the questions you had for me. Begin."
Hazō took a second to study Orochimaru. The Snake Sannin's skin was unnaturally pale and free of any wrinkle, scar, or blemish that would indicate age or experience. Still, the structure of his face was oddly sharp and mature. Even if he tried, Hazō probably wouldn't be able to guess which decade of his life Orochimaru was in.
Orochimaru stared back at him, uncaring.
"I've been wondering about something," Hazō said. "I'm sure it's something you've spent time thinking about. Suppose there were multiple immortal beings, living in perpetuity. What would a long-term equilibrium between them look like? I can imagine one. If the immortals saw each other as threats, they might descend into conflict, fighting until only one remains. That doesn't seem wise to me."
"Oh?" Orochimaru said. "Do go on."
"I think that equilibrium would be wasteful," Hazō said, trying to ignore the creeping feeling that he'd caught a predator's attention. "It would be pointless for them to kill each other for minimal gain. If they could coexist, everyone would be better off – for instance, because everyone would benefit from having amicable allies against existential risks if they pop up. Is long-term peace and cooperation possible at all, at least when restricted to those wise enough to attempt to persist forever?"
"Accepting the preposterous premise, despite the lack of even one human immortal enough to participate in your scenario," Orochimaru said, "it posits too much. Why should one expect hypothetical immortals to be evenly matched, such that conflict is a risk to both parties? Why should lesser ones be useful to superior ones? The expected dynamic is not open warfare, but a few superiors and many lessers who hide from the superior's attention."
"Even that assumes conflict, though," Hazō said. "Why should there be conflict at all? These people are presumably intelligent enough to last for a very long time – why can't they coordinate?"
"Nephew, the hidden villages and the clans before them have long been led by intelligent, competent people who are highly capable of achieving whatever goals they set their minds to. When I call them idiots, I insult their judgment and choice of objectives, not their cognitive capacity. Nonetheless, conflict flourishes, because the goals of one are not mutually compatible with the goals of another. Among such powerful beings as you imagine, do you expect all of them will be sufficiently unambitious that they will be content to never raise their eyes to the metaphorical territory of another?"
"They might want things that would imply conflict," Hazō said, "but they could still refrain from fighting because fighting is too destructive to be worth it. I'm saying it might take more wisdom than normal to become immortal, given that no one's done it, so why shouldn't these people be smart enough to at least attempt cooperation?"
"They may attempt it. Many have," Orochimaru said, gesturing at the unfurled map of the Elemental Nations, now marked with the locations of the O'uzu and Iron rifts. "Behold, the divided Elemental Nations, the fruits of their labors."
"The thing is, I want more than to just survive among a few immortals standing in the graveyard of humanity." Hazō let a hint of frustration seep into his voice. "I want the whole world to be better, such that humanity can last forever, growing in wisdom and stability with every passing year."
Orochimaru chuckled, a cold, stuttering hiccup of a laugh. "You fancy yourself an immortal then? Fascinating. My apologies, I interrupted your tirade of idiocy."
Hazō held himself back from reprimanding Orochimaru's dismissal. Instead, he continued.
"You scorn humanity for its failings, but I find that those failings are from circumstance, not from inviolable nature. Sure, they aren't you. They don't have the vision and brilliance to begin breaking their chains on their own. But people can be taught. Institutions can create incentives, and those incentives can be changed to point in positive directions. Just because the bulk of humanity is lesser than you doesn't mean they need to be as lowly as they actually are. The world can be made better.
"Look, I know you find the existence of stable, competent people to be useful to you. Sage knows that what few people I know like that are incredibly useful to me." Really, Noburi and Gaku were both lifesavers. "I just want everyone to be more like that. Surely you can see how this is a better world, and one worth pursuing, right?"
"Your blustering attempts at manipulation are noticed and disdained," Orochimaru said. "I respect ambition, but I do not respect you making plainly ridiculous claims to win my favor.
"I have few objections to a more orderly, sensible world, but you incorrectly attribute the current state of deplorable chaos to… inadequate institutions? An inadequately educated populace? Whatever problem you imagine, it is incorrect. All evidence I have seen suggests that man is fundamentally a petty, controlling creature, driven by desires for social status and personal comfort, with little care for the joy or suffering of others beyond his immediate circle. The world around us is not an unfortunate accident of historical circumstance; it is a straightforward consequence of the hearts of men. To think otherwise betrays a staggering naivety that inhibits my ability to seriously consider the rest of your words."
"Please do take it seriously, because I do mean it," Hazō said. "Yes, people have small-minded, even destructive desires. Still, those desires can be set to productive means through the right social structures, and I don't think peace and progress are impossible."
"Progress, in the sense of developing more destructive weapons for more destructive wars? Certainly possible," Orochimaru agreed. "You provide no evidence for the rest of your claim except for rhetoric. If you can prove your claims, by all means do so. As I said, I will not object to a marginally more tolerable world if my intervention is not required."
"Well, I don't know if this is something you can just ignore, Lord Orochimaru. Civilization is ending itself, caught in a downward spiral, applying more destructive weapons to fight more destructive wars, as you said. The world will burn before the shortsighted fools in charge give up their fight."
"Correct, though I fail to see why I should care."
"I care, because I want to change the world's political, economic, social, institutional… everything, so that the equilibrium point is collaboration and mutual improvement, rather than wasteful self-destruction."
"Your more concrete suggestion is straightforwardly impossible," Orochimaru said. "Collaboration is primarily incentivized in positive-sum situations where all parties benefit from cooperating. A positive-sum arrangement requires that value is created, and value cannot be created infinitely. Any equilibrium in which collaboration is favored is necessarily transient."
"It is possible," Hazō insisted. "Honestly, if Akatsuki weren't largely made of short-sighted and unstable people, AMITY would be a viable route to world peace."
"World peace under the threat of annihilation by an overwhelmingly powerful, deeply hated enemy," Orochimaru said. "What a shocking triumph of human nature."
"Maybe at first it's awful," Hazō said. "But after a generation, culture could adapt to new circumstances and let people truly believe in peace."
"'Believe in peace'? How childish. The Seventh Path has had far more time and liberty to create a culture of peace, yet they still jealously guard their capacity to make war. Even were your institutions not doomed to fail, the ordinary desires of ordinary men make what you want impossible."
"Just as I'm talking rhetoric, you're also not doing anything more than flatly calling what I believe impossible," Hazō said. "With all due respect, Lord Orochimaru, where's your evidence?"
Orochimaru fixed Hazō with an unblinking stare. "In the Second World War, I have seen Hidden Villages tear themselves apart without the action of any external enemy, because people's desire for power and status was greater than their allegiance to their country. I have seen Leaf gradually decay under the weight of its Clan Council, carefully preventing anything useful from getting done in order to win ever-larger shares of their piles of rotting fruit. I have seen over a dozen clans collapse on themselves due to succession crises or internal warring, do you wish me to name them? Yoshida, Sasaki, Nisshoku, Hasegawa, Yari, and more. I have caused such conflicts for my own convenience, and it takes shockingly little to have brothers driving their spears into each other's throats. Even in those scarce few corners of the world that I would call peaceful or idyllic, I have seen men murder and rape for the most idiotic reasons. It has only ever been under the threat of violence that I have seen people restrain themselves. Hashirama brought Leaf's clans in line by the strength of his own ninjutsu, and all the evidence I have seen suggests that it is the risk of their destruction that restrains them still. Does that suffice?"
"I… I suppose so."
"Good," Orochimaru said. "This conversation bores me, and I believe we are nearing the end of your bargained time regardless. Ask your final question."
Hazō paused, letting the wording settle in his mind before he spoke.
"I want your advice on one more thing," Hazō said. "I want to know, given my values, if there are flaws in my goals and approach. What should I be doing to maximize the general welfare of humanity in the short and medium term, and what can I do to help humanity become stable for the infinite future?"
"There are indeed flaws in your goals and approach," Orochimaru agreed. "It is simple: you are starting from incorrect assumptions, using faulty reasoning to draw flawed conclusions from inadequate evidence, and expecting this to yield useful results. I would recommend starting from scratch."
"Starting from scratch?" Hazō asked.
"It's clear that my words aren't penetrating your skull, so you must ask a Yamanaka to rip from your head all the foolishness you talked about today and hope that you manage to formulate meaningfully achievable goals next time.
"Of course, I recall a condition of our deal was that I would actually answer your questions rather than dismiss them out of hand, so I should provide a full answer. You aim to end generational hatred, unite all nations into one, and make every man see every other man as his brother, sufficiently so that conflict is all but gone. To achieve this goal, the possible paths are obvious. Assuming you want to avoid the tyranny of total conquest, I would recommend simply rewriting the personalities of all of humanity to align them with your imagined conception of human nature. I trust you see the parallel?"
"To Pain? Yes."
"It is good that you are now capable of making basic inferences," Orochimaru said. "Perhaps you will also infer the consequences if you tried such a thing without being a wielder of the Rinnegan.
"Your actual question is far easier to answer. In the short term, I have no suggestions. General welfare is suitably improved by providing walls and basic services as you are already doing, and I suspect you have put far more thought into short-term considerations than I have. In the medium term, I can imagine two interventions that would dramatically improve the quality of life for ordinary civilians. First, you should end chakra beasts."
"End chakra beasts?" Hazō asked.
"Or, at the very least, render them somehow as peaceable as the fauna and flora of the Seventh Path," Orochimaru said. "Of course, this is impossible, as all living things exist in a highly interconnected web, and chakra beasts cannot be all killed without condemning all of humanity to extinction, but the point remains that current beast suppression missions are insufficient, and that a true solution needs to be found. Perhaps runes can do something useful in this regard, somehow minimizing the mutagenic impact of human chakra on the beasts? I defer such investigations to you, as they clearly interest you more than me.
"Second, you should dramatically improve the nutrition of the ordinary farmer."
"Nutrition?" Hazō asked. "Why?"
"Nine in ten civilians live on farms," Orochimaru said. "Actually, eight in nine in Fire, and the ratio is worse in less fertile countries. Tsunade spends time curing plagues and tending to ailments, but her work is misguided. Not only would her goals be better achieved if the civilians she cured didn't starve during a winter shortly thereafter, but better-nourished civilians are simply less likely to fall ill. Improvements in nutrition will not just turn dry seasons from mass-starvation into simple rationing, but will also improve the civilians' ability to work more efficiently in the fields, thereby securing their own continued good nutrition. It is one of few self-reinforcing, lasting positive changes that I can imagine."
"It is just an oddly specific idea that I'd never heard of before," Hazō said.
Orochimaru frowned. "It is one I entertained long ago. The high-fertility rice crop that is now a staple to all of Fire was my invention. The original strain still farmed elsewhere is more docile – increased mobility and aggression were inevitable consequences of increasing the species' capacity for chakra absorption – but the new strain is considerably hardier and produces substantially greater yield in less physical space and with less stringent requirements on water level management. Was Sarutobi truly so spiteful as to strike my name from the work?"
"I think he must have," Hazō said as he struggled to mesh this supposed claim with the actual, monstrous Orochimaru he knew.
"How pitiful," Orochimaru said. "Regardless, I have moved beyond such endeavors. Determining how to make biomodifications heritable was but a stepping stone towards true bloodline research, though humans are naturally far more challenging to modify than plants.
"Lastly, long-term civilizational stability in the way you envision is impossible. I believe that fully answers your question."
Orochimaru stood and walked back towards the training field. He paused at the edge of the privacy seals.
"Perhaps had you a few more years of experience under your belt, I might have been able to say that it was a pleasure working with you."
With that, he left to finish tutoring Noburi in the basics of his techniques.
Hazō stayed in the OPSEC-safe bubble, thinking thoughts he'd never thought he'd think. Hazō had spent plenty of time considering the depths of Orochimaru's atrocities – how could he not, having explored the Basement first-hand? Yet… if Orochimaru wasn't lying (and Hazō saw no reason why the Sannin would), and the Sannin had indeed created higher yield crops for the entirety of Fire to farm with, just how many lives had Orochimaru saved?
Noburi is willing to take suggestions regarding his dilemma, though will make the final decision himself.
Doctor Yakushi confessed that he had no real understanding of technique creation or modification, and thus would be useless at examining Noburi to judge if techniques could be modified to work with Noburi's bloodline. Doctor Yakushi said that Orochimaru was uninterested in Noburi's reasons for refusal, nor in compensating foolishness with additional jutsu.
In the interest of good grammar, I inserted the word "to" into the following plan line:
If immortals see each other as threats, are they forced to fight until only one remains?
Ordinarily, this would make the plan 400 words, and thus give it a wordcount penalty of -1. I'm not actually applying the penalty this time, but I will in the future. Apologies, but I want to stay far from the slippery slope alternative where plans become even more wordcount-compressed and even less legible. If you're pasting into Google Docs to check wordcount, you can also check for blue underlines that might indicate illegibly-overcompressed grammar.
The murmur of Hazō and Mari's conversation–she attempting to offer unsolicited bedroom advice as a way of relieving her stress, he utilising every conversational stratagem in his arsenal in order to forestall her–made for pleasant background noise as the Gōketsu waited in Cleaning Supplies Overflow for the unfortunate man of the hour. Alas, Kei was neither in the mood nor in a position to join in the traditional family hobby of Hazō-teasing, nor to benefit from the educational value should Mari emerge triumphant (not that she was remotely curious, of course, but the way of the Nara demanded that she assess the information before rejecting it). There was simply too much to contemplate, and no oversight could be tolerated.
Kei was seeing to the handovers and contingencies for the Nara projects within her sphere of responsibility, especially the NFF and Project Synergy (in the unlikely event of her survival, it should be prepared for her journey to Mist by the time she returned), the usual mountains of KEI work, those elements of the Gōketsu finances that could not be entrusted to Gaku, and the regular check-in on Murai (monitoring whom was usually an ACC activity, but as the architect of Murai's warped lifestyle, Kei felt responsible for liaising with her personally). A hundred different tasks. Would the Nara stewards heed her injunctions with regard to Shikamaru's proper nutrition and sleeping hours, both of which invariably slipped as clan head duties accumulated, or should she put the fear of herself in them again? Perhaps she should prevail on Tenten to monitor their efforts on a periodic basis.
Meanwhile, Snowflake was in charge of liaising with Jin with regard to the ex-KEI adoptees, arranging protection and contingency plans for the Rainbow Fire (she pitied anyone who made a hostile move at a time when retribution would come not from herself but from Mari and Anko), internal polycule matters, a final safety check on Ami's leftover contingencies, and other miscellanea that did not require Kei's clearance or authority.
Nothing could be neglected. Hazō had not shared the details of the upcoming mission with the team, but the timing, and in fact the lack of detail, spoke for itself. This was an expedition beyond Akatsuki's reach, timed to maximise the interval until their next visit to Leaf (Kei having followed the last, an initial investigation into the village whose destruction she had permitted, as closely as she dared). Initially Kei had assumed that rift research would be the goal, since she did not truly believe Hazō would ever abandon his efforts. However, Hazō's nomination of Hyūga weighed the balance of probability towards weapons research in truth, in which case the special need to evade Akatsuki's notice made its intended target obvious.
In other words, Hazō and his chosen team were setting themselves directly against Akatsuki, on nothing more than the hope that countermeasures effective against a squad of demigods could be discovered before Akatsuki grew wise to their plans and found a means to compel their return for execution.
Kei should not have agreed. Kei had been suicidal to agree. So much rested on her shoulders that would be lost when she was murdered, to say nothing of the likelihood that her loved ones would be taken hostage to be used against her. She knew how competent Akatsuki were at torture from the darkness that sometimes surfaced behind Naruto's eyes, even at home, even among friends.
Kei should have sent her mother and her brother to their deaths as she and Snowflake sat at home in relative safety. It would have been the rational, responsible decision. She should have abandoned them as she had abandoned Ami. As her parents had abandoned her.
Motion triggered her paranoid missing-nin alertness as Noburi swung open the door with a performative abundance of energy.
"What's up, ladies and gentle–well, Hazō, anyway. Sorry to keep you waiting. Good news, my Tsunade-dodging game is at another level now. Bad news, she's Tsunade. I'll be counting on you guys to help me get out of this one."
Tractable problems.
"By all means, elaborate," Kei invited as Snowflake, sensitive to her mood as she could never be to anyone else's, subtly squeezed her hand. "I need not be convinced of the danger that exalted luminary poses to life and limb."
"Right," Noburi said, casting off his pack onto the floor with the sacrilegious thud of a grimoire carelessly treated. "Long story short, I'm in a bit of a pinch, courtesy of being just too talented for my own good. A couple of days ago, me and Hazō negotiated with Ma and Pa. Side note, it's weirdly relaxing being the one doing the optimising while Hazō's the one putting himself in the line of fire. I can see why you girls are so into it. Obviously, that made it a roaring success, which is to say Ma and Pa very reluctantly agreed to give Hazō some ninjutsu crafting lessons while we're away on the mission, and more importantly, I'm getting a trial run for hardcore Toad Sage training of the kind that turned Jiraiya into a legendary badass."
Classic Hazō. When the opportunity finally arose to dedicate himself to sealing research with only limited interruption (neither Kei nor Snowflake doubted that Noburi would soon bring word of a new crisis that their presence might have mitigated), he promptly deviated from the original plan to pursue a new and different ambition with wild abandon.
"From the fact that you mentioned Tsunade," Snowflake said, "I infer that she has a separate claim on your time which she naturally considers superior."
"Got it in one. Apparently, people have been pushing for her to take me on as an apprentice, and while she's not up for that, she's interested in doing research on my Bloodline Limit, which would still teach me a lot and would probably leave me with some amazing medical ninjutsu."
"And there's only one person who can push Tsunade in a way she'd even notice and who has a vested interest in Noburi being reliably on hand in the near future," Mari added.
Noburi looked at her silently. His expression fell.
"...yeah, OK. No point in pretending. It's a Barrel Boy thing, not an 'I want to work with Noburi' thing. Thanks for the reminder."
Kei and Snowflake gave Mari synchronised cold looks.
She shrugged. "You have to be clear on people's motivations before you can shape them the way you want."
"Either way," Hazō said quickly, "we're in a difficult situation where Noburi has to pick between two, well, three people who will all be seriously offended by a refusal and might refuse to deal with him again. We need solutions.
"My first thought is a Noburi timeshare. Maybe they could trade off days, or take half a day each? That would get us the best of both worlds."
Mari shook her head. "I don't see it. The Toad Sages taught Jiraiya. They'll be expecting total dedication, and frankly, the kind of training regime we're talking about needs to demand total dedication, or it's not worth your time. Trust an elite jōnin. If they came to you with a timeshare proposal, I'd assume they were fobbing you off."
"I would expect the training styles of ancient masters to be more optimised than those of contemporary jōnin," Kei objected, "especially contemporary jōnin who achieved that rank at a young age through prodigious talent and thus relied less on a well-developed training style than most of their fellows.
"On the other hand, I find it difficult, nay, impossible to imagine Tsunade accepting anything but absolute cooperation from any lowly mortal on whom she has deigned to bestow her time. She is not a woman of compromise."
"She must have patients she could look after in the downtime," Hazō said.
"Now that we have received unequivocal confirmation that Tsunade both possesses and has no philosophical compunctions over using the Shadow Clone Technique," Kei said, "it seems reasonable to assume that she could simply assign one or more shadow clones to ensuring that her hospital duties are uninterrupted, or vice versa."
"Actually," Noburi said, "that's one of the great unsolved mysteries of Senju Tsunade. You'd think they'd be massive for multiplying her medical skills, but until the battle, nobody knew for sure whether she used them at all–or at least nobody ever caught her in two places at the same time, or two of her in one place at the same time."
"Research, perhaps?" Snowflake speculated. "It would be a criminal waste of her abilities to spend all her time on individual patients at the hospital"–Noburi frowned, but didn't say anything–"and whom better to assign to work with hazardous substances and vicious disease spirits than a shadow clone whose suffering would be nothing to her?"
"Huh," Noburi said. "Now you say it out loud, it's kinda obvious. Also, uh, my condolences."
"It is what it is," Snowflake said. "I claim no right to speak for others of my kind, but I at least choose the suffering of this cruel world over the peace of oblivion every day."
It was one of the many mysteries of Snowflake that on rare occasion, her divergence looped in a perfect circle to being another Kei.
"I don't suppose," Hazō said speculatively, his gaze fixed on some distant plane of possibility, "we could just get them in a room together and have them talk it out like reasonable adults?"
…
"Nice one, Hazō," Mari said once the laughter settled down.
Kei, too, envied the extraordinary smoothness with which Hazō had dispelled the sombre mood created by Snowflake's words, and with deadpan in no way inferior to her own.
"...thanks," Hazō said after a second. "All right, why don't we get Naruto to meditate? If Mari's theory is right, he's willing to exert his authority to make this happen, and the Toad Sages seem to have a soft spot for him in a way they don't for us."
"Sure," Mari said, "but flip that around to what it would mean for us. Naruto must already have exhausted his pull with Tsunade if she didn't go for the apprentice idea, which could have kept Noburi under his thumb for years. The Sages might like him more, but that doesn't mean they want him meddling in business between them and their summoner. In return for nothing more than his personal charisma, we'd be losing face in front of both parties."
"What do you mean?"
"Just like what happens every time I go to negotiate on your behalf," Mari said. "Nobody bats an eye at a clan head sending his trained diplomat to persuade or negotiate in his stead, especially when the stakes are high, because using every resource at your disposal is how the game is played. But at the same time, it's a signal that you don't think you're good enough to get the job done yourself, and those signals accumulate. That's why other clan heads negotiate with you in person on anything big, even if they have social specs who could do a better job, and why I'm not constantly volunteering to handle clan PR."
"And not all because you'd rather laze around the house drinking hot chocolate and reading smut," Noburi clarified.
"Perish the thought," Mari agreed. "You take my point, though. If there's nothing Naruto can say to them that you couldn't say yourself, then you're just making yourself look weak by relying on him, in front of people whose limited respect you can't afford to lose."
"Furthermore," Kei said, "the core concept is critically flawed. Assuming Mari's theory regarding the Hokage's influence is correct, he has a compelling vested interest in Noburi accepting Tsunade's offer while rejecting–or being rejected by–the Toad Sages, at least for the time being."
"For the time being?" Hazō repeated. "Actually, that's a thought. Could we get the Toad Sages to put off the training by a couple of months, until Tsunade's done with her side?"
"Could go either way," Noburi said. "Maybe two months is nothing to them on account of their age, and they'll say whatever. Or maybe they'll be offended that I'm getting the offer of a lifetime and then trying to haggle because some slip of a girl on the Human Path wants to work with me on medical ninjutsu, which, by the way, they think I should drop because it's a dumb choice of discipline for a summoner and is stalling my growth.
"Slip of a girl?" Kei clarified.
"They're like six hundred years old," Noburi said. "To them, the difference between me and Tsunade is that one's an uppity toddler and the other is an uppity toddler who doesn't need to have a grown-up constantly holding her hand."
"Right," Hazō said. "Then I guess it comes down to pros and cons. The Toad Sages have a lot of marks in their favour. They taught Jiraiya, which is a great track record."
"A single data point cannot serve as a track record," Kei objected.
"Even if they spent years doing it?"
"Even then."
"Well, it proves they can be good teachers, anyway," Hazō said.
"It does no such thing," Kei said. "Certainly, the summoner position would have been an element in Jiraiya's rise to power, but it is beyond our means to select any given capability of his and reliably attribute it to the Toad Sages. Even his signature Toad ninjutsu could plausibly have been obtained from other summons; after all, I required no particular contacts to obtain one of the holy grails of shinobi warfare from the Pangolins."
"Fine," Hazō said. "But there are other reasons to be on their good side. They know a lot of eldritch lore they might be persuaded to share, ideally weaponisable eldritch lore. That's part of my goal in learning technique hacking from them, in fact–and that's another benefit which might get lost if we offend them. Noburi also needs to stay on good terms with them to remain the Toad Summoner."
"What? No, I don't."
Noburi gave Hazō a perplexed look. "Gamabunta's the one who decides my summoner status. I mean, if Ma and Pa decided they really hated me, they could tell him to cancel my contract and get a better summoner, but even then, I don't know if he'd go for it. The Toad Sages aren't sitting on his shoulders telling him what to do–they're a pair of powerful hermits living in the woods who we happen to know by sheer chance because of Jiraiya. It would be like Tsunade dictating terms to the Hokage."
"Which I can entirely see her doing," Hazō countered.
"Tsunade is strong enough to challenge the Hokage," Mari said. "She was certainly stronger than Asuma. But what that means politically is that if the Hokage thinks she's overreaching, he has to slap her down decisively or accept the erosion of his power–which is only a threat because she's a threat. We all saw what it was like when Orochimaru could walk all over Asuma. Unless Gamabunta's too dumb to live, he'll recognise what the precedent of letting the Sages pick the clan's summoner would mean for his authority and tell them to go screw themselves."
"Fine," Hazō said. "But still, we're potentially talking years of training here, compared to Tsunade's research, which has a definite end point when she thinks she's learned enough. At the same time, Noburi can't avoid Tsunade forever, and when she finds out he's turned her down, she's going to be furious."
"It occurs to me," Snowflake said, "that we may be dealing with an additional problem aside from Tsunade's fearsome ego. Unlike the Toad Sages, who have no particular stake in training Noburi beyond an abstract preference for a stronger summoner, Tsunade is presumably planning this Bloodline Limit research with the end goal of developing superior medical treatment for those in need. Refusal would then violate not only her sense of entitlement as Tsunade but also her sense of ethics as a doctor, which I imagine to be more powerful by an order of magnitude. If Noburi chooses to pursue training for pure personal power in preference to a project which would surely save many lives in the future…"
Kei nodded. "While the perpetual shortage of competent medic-nin leaves it unlikely that she would blacklist him from the medical profession entirely, the Queen of Doctors could reduce his hopes of professional advancement to ashes with a word."
"Shit," Noburi muttered. "I hadn't even thought of that."
"So that's a thing to put on one side of the scales," Hazō said into the grim silence. "Together with a lot of medical ninjutsu that there's really no way of getting elsewhere, at least if the Orochimaru option's not on the table–"
"It's not."
"–and the general benefits of Tsunade's reputation as a doctor. Noburi, you'd know better than me what those can do for you."
"Also the possibility of new Bloodline Limit applications, potentially eclipsing anything the Wakahisa were able to accomplish without the aid of an S-rank medical specialist," Kei added.
"Hey," Noburi exclaimed, "the Wakahisa have their own share of clan heroes. You realise somebody out there had to have invented the barrel seals, and with them the entire concept of carrying our chakra in a barrel? I dare Tsunade to try inventing practically a new Bloodline Limit."
"She did transplant the Sharingan that one time," Mari said.
"Yeah. One time. Do you have any idea what kind of medical breakthroughs we could've built on that? But no, she says it can't be done again, and she never shared the theory behind it, either. Who knows, maybe another genius medic-nin could've found a way to pull it off if she did. I mean, it's not like Hyūga really needs both eyes as long as he has the Byakugan."
"In fact," Kei opined, "I believe his experience of life would be greatly improved were he divested of all eyeballs in his possession, as well as any other senses you are able to extract. The man is an inexhaustible cornucopia of complaint about all that he surveys."
Hazō raised his eyebrows. "I didn't realise you two hung out together."
"Not by choice, I assure you. However, we are lamentably connected by Tenten in the manner of in-laws and by Hanabi in the manner of a master attempting to instruct her student while a foul, irritating, yet ultimately inconsequential insect bombinates around them."
"Normally," Noburi said, "interrupting a Hyūga-mocking session is the last thing I'd want to do, but this is kinda important, guys."
"Indeed," Kei said, generously refraining from mentioning that Noburi was the one originally responsible for the tangent. "We must also consider the disadvantages of selecting Tsunade, particularly those which are of import to our immediate objectives. Will the Toad Sages refuse to instruct Hazō in technique development if you spurn them, Noburi?"
Noburi thought about it.
"Probably not? They're separate agreements, and besides, I'd be the one taking the blame for picking Tsunade. I've got no reason to drag him down with me."
"On the other hand," Hazō said, "getting lore out of them relies purely on their goodwill, and that's going to dive like a chakra kingfisher spotting a cow if they decide Noburi's offended them by backing out of the side of the deal they actually care about."
"Do we have any reason whatsoever to believe that their lore will be of use for our specific purposes?" Kei asked.
"No, but given how old they are, some of what they know must be relevant, especially with regard to nature chakra. If they decide to withhold it, that could put Project Necromancy in danger."
"Project Necromancy? You mean to confirm that you are proceeding with rift research, in defiance of Akatsuki's restrictions?" Kei asked. "Or are you referring to some alternative contingency, such as–"
"Never mind," Hazō interrupted. "Let's not stray off topic. Noburi, I believe we've covered all the salient points. It's your choice, and you'll have our full support no matter what you decide."
"...my choice, huh?"
Noburi sat in silence, thinking.
Kei pondered choices of her own. It was entirely possible that her personal problems would be made moot by death on the Hyena front lines, her scheduled repayment of the debt incurred by Operation Murdersnout. Her demise would need to be communicated swiftly to Leaf, rendering her loved ones irrelevant as hostages (with the exception of those still being endangered by Hazō, notably Mari, Noburi, Yuno, and Ino), but that was easily accomplished. It would certainly be preferable to the most probable scenario of execution by Akatsuki after whatever means were necessary to compel her team's surrender.
Meanwhile, success was in many ways more frightening than failure, for it would leave the world as it had been once before, with weapons of unspeakable destruction in Hazō's hands, and Hazō in the hands of a Hokage fully cognizant of their power. This time, even assassination would not ensure containment, for Orochimaru also possessed the secrets of runecrafting, and proof of concept would render it even easier for him to replicate those weapons than it had been for Hazō to invent them.
Why had Ami left when she alone, with adroit advocacy and implementation of Operation A-Day, could have prevented this cataclysmic scenario from coming to pass?
Noburi stirred.
"I can do this."
"Do what?" Mari asked.
"I'm not giving up on being the next Tsunade or the next Jiraiya," Noburi said. "I'm going to go to Ma and Pa, and I'm going to wow them with the most masterful display of diplomacy the Toad Clan has ever seen, and I am going to convince them by hook or by crook to delay the start of the training until I've tied up my loose ends and can give them the ultimate fully-focused Noburi. Then I'm going to go to my loose end and work out a professional research schedule with a hard deadline on which I'll be able to kiss Tsunade goodbye and move on to my training come hell or high water."
"Perhaps reverse the order of those two?" Snowflake suggested. "You will be able to impress the Toad Sages more easily if you can make and keep a commitment to a specific date rather than vaguely requesting that they wait until you are available."
"Also," Kei advised, "I would refrain from any valedictory osculations. You will recall that reverse summoning fails if the target does not contain any of the blood used to sign the scroll."
"Good points all," Noburi agreed. "Thanks for your help, people. The countdown has officially begun to the birth of Hidden Leaf's fourth S-ranker."
-o-
You have received 1 XP (Brevity).
This conversation takes place on the night of the previous update so as to ensure that Noburi has a decision by the time he risks running into Tsunade. Accordingly, its normal XP award is already covered.
"Back so soon. Good." She threw her brush down, not caring that a drop of ink flicked onto the top sheet on her stack. "I assume you're here to tell me that you woke up and realized that training with me is the key to your entire future in Leaf and then you're going to apologize profusely for getting in my face about it and wanting to go off and study with that bitchy little stew-ruiner and her asshole husband."
Noburi stood in the doorway, blinking as he attempted to figure out which part of that to respond to. After a moment he bowed, walked to the chair across from Tsunade, and sat down. He sat straight, his back not touching the chair's, his feet flat on the floor and hands on his thighs. He forced himself not to wipe damp palms.
Noburi wants to convince Tsunade to put a deadline on their research so that he can convince the Toad Sages to push the start of his training until after that end date. The approach that Mari has helped him craft is to be open, honest, and straightforward about his needs and his desire to coordinate the different ways that he can advance his own career and his value to Leaf. Tsunade, of course, is a very relaxed person who is happy to respect other people's needs and desires, as well as to coordinate and cooperate with people in order to promote peace, harmony, and good feelings across the Elemental Nations.
We need to know both the outcome and how Tsunade will feel about Noburi going forward. Grab those dice!
Noburi, Rapport (24) + 3 (invoke "Zone of Friendship") + 3 (invoke "I Will Be the Next Tsunade") + 3 (invoke "Prepped with Lady Firehair, Manipulatrix Extraordinaire") +/- ? (modifier: QM opinion on Tsunade's fundamental opinion on the issue) + 6 (dice) = ?
Tsunade, Presence (?) + 3 (dice): ??
I'm not going to roll any further.
"Yes, ma'am."
Blonde eyebrows rose.
"Ma'am, I want this. I want to be a powerful ninja, I want to be an asset to Leaf, and most importantly I want to be...well, you. I want to save as many people as you have saved. I want to walk into a room where someone is bleeding and watch everyone, including the patient, stop worrying because they know everything is going to be okay. I think—"
"Yeah, because sucking up always works with me."
"Just being honest, ma'am. I recognize that studying under you is key to advancing my medical skills, and to gaining the experience I need to be the doctor I want to be. You are the priority, ma'am. I am going to study with you no matter what the Sages say, but I'm in a bind. Gamabunta makes the decision as to whether I remain the Toad Summoner, but the Sages are a big influence on him. They were there when I was inducted, and the only reason that Gamabunta accepted me was that Fukasaku spoke up in my favor."
"Oh, please. That was staged and if you don't realize it then I don't know what to tell you."
Noburi blinked.
Tsunade snorted. "They did that to Jiraiya too and admitted it twenty years later during a drunken bar crawl in Sand. They've been doing it to every summoner candidate for centuries. Gamabunta is the bad guy, acts like he's going to wave the candidate off, then either Ma or Pa comes up with some stupid reason why maybe he should give them a chance. Then the other one joins in with something else and Gamabunta gets 'talked around'. It puts the summoner on the back foot and keeps them respectful and cooperative for a few years."
"...That's an awfully manipulative way to start a relationship."
"Welcome to statesmanship. The three of them have a responsibility to the Toad Clan, not to Leaf and not to your career. They know perfectly well that human ninja are completely untrustworthy and that they become summoners in order to advance their own interests, not those of the Toad Clan. Given all that, it's absolutely appropriate for them to start things off with the most leverage they can get."
"I see."
"Anyway, you were going to say that you can't refuse those manipulative little fogeys because it might cost you your place as Summoner."
"Did the Slug Boss do that to you, ma'am?"
"Katsuyu is a little different than the other Bosses, but that's not the topic."
"No, ma'am. I intend to ask them to delay the start of my training until you and I are done. What I wanted to ask you is if you could give me some idea of how long you're thinking of us working together? It would help if I had a date to give them."
"You want me to pinky-promise that we'll have discovered everything interesting and I'll be done with you on Tuesday?"
Noburi smiled slightly. "I'd like to think it will take a little longer than Tuesday, ma'am."
"Sure, whatever. Of course, it's the later months that are actually productive, so when I tell you we're done in a month, I can pretty much guarantee that we'll discover some critical new thing in twenty-nine days twelve hours."
"Were you thinking a month, ma'am?"
"Obviously not, you stupid—" She placed her palms flat on the desk, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "No, Noburi. I was not thinking that it would take a month to learn every relevant secret of a complex bloodline such as that of the Wakahisa." She studied him. "Three. Three months. It may not be enough time, but it's probably as much time as I can stand to spend in a room with a snot-nosed brat like you anyway. And I suppose maybe you have a point about it being valuable for you to get some actual skills." She frowned, then shook her head. "Tell those bug-spikers that you'll be free on September second."
"Yes, ma'am." He waited a moment to see if there was anything else, but she had already gone back to her paperwork, so he stood up.
He paused at the door and looked over his shoulder. "Ma'am?"
"What?"
"It sounds like you have a problem with the Sages. It's none of my business, ma'am, but I'm concerned that it might become my business if I get caught between you and them. Would you be willing to tell me why you dislike them?"
She snorted. "I like them fine. Ma and I have been tweaking each other's noses since before your dad got your mom drunk enough to marry him. Speaking of which, you need to get them down here at some point so we can go at it again. And stop kowtowing to them the way I'm sure you have been. Push back."
"Yes, ma'am."
o-o-o-o
Noburi needs to get the Toad Sages on page with his training plan. Let's see how he does.
Noburi, Rapport (24) + 3 (invoke "Zone of Friendship") + 3 (invoke "Prepped with Lady Firehair, Manipulatrix Extraordinaire") +/- ? (modifier: QM opinion on the Toad Sage's fundamental opinion on the issue) - 6 (dice) = ? Reroll! Noburi, Rapport (24) + 3 (invoke "Zone of Friendship") + 3 (invoke "Prepped with Lady Firehair, Manipulatrix Extraordinaire") +/- ? (modifier: QM opinion on the Toad Sage's fundamental opinion on the issue) - 3 (dice) = ?
"You're late," Shima snapped. "You were supposed to be here early."
Noburi raised an eyebrow. "Ma'am, it's not even dawn on the Human Path. I'm not late, so why are you lying and saying I am?"
"Are you mouthing off to us, boy?" Fukasaku demanded. "That's a bold move for a snot-nosed brat like you."
"I'm young, sir, but I'm not snot-nosed, I'm not a brat, and you're both being unnecessarily rude."
Shima sniffed. "You're later than I'd like."
Noburi's grin was brief but bright as the flame of a firefly.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Before we start training, there's a thing I'd like to talk about."
"Oh? I suppose you're going to tell us that we aren't important enough for you to accept our incredibly generous offer to train you so that you can become an actually competent summoner and you're going to throw us over in favor of that bitchy little medical braggart?"
"Ma'am, I cannot begin to tell you how much I don't want to get caught in the middle of your and Tsunade's ongoing spat. Speaking of which, she asked that I invite you down to the Human Path for a visit."
Shima sniffed. "I suppose it's been a few years since I put her in her place. Might be fun to get some more practice in. Tell her we'll be there Thursday."
"Yes, ma'am. May I give her a time?"
"We'll be there when we're there!" Fukasaku snapped. "Tell her to keep her schedule clear."
"Sir, I'm not going to do that. I'll tell her you're coming. I'll summon you whenever you say and the three of you can sort out when you actually get together."
"Hrmph. Fine."
"Thank you. Now, as to the thing I needed to talk to you about: I need your advice on how to solve a problem I'm having."
The two old toads perked up at that. Fukasaku twitched his robe straight and wiped webbed hands down its folds, straightening out all the wrinkles.
"Well?" Shima demanded after a moment. "We're not getting any younger here."
"Yes, ma'am." He shifted in the chair and folded his hands on the table, leaning forward slightly. "I'm caught between different responsibilities coming out of my different roles. I am the Toad Summoner, which means I have a responsibility to the Toad Clan to be the best and strongest summoner I can be. I am a medic of Leaf, which puts me under the authority of Lady Tsunade as chief medical officer. I am a ninja of Leaf, which puts me under the authority of the Hokage. My bloodline was a significant factor in Leaf winning the war"—he grimaced—"to the extent that we can be said to have won it. Regardless, Lady Tsunade, who is my legal superior, wants to study my bloodline. Doing so will make me a better asset to Leaf, which is my duty to the city and the Hokage, and it will make me a stronger ninja, which is my duty to the Toad Clan and to myself.
"She is...not the 'sharing is caring' type," Noburi said, smiling. "She expects to work with me for the next three months, starting immediately, and she expects to have full-time access to me. At the same time, you two have very generously agreed to train me and you were expecting to start immediately. Working with you is an honor, and a privilege, and is my duty." He leaned back, spreading to his arms in a 'what can you do' gesture. "I'm stuck between different obligations, and I'm going to have to disappoint someone no matter what I do. I'm hoping that I can maintain my positive relationship"—he interrupted himself with a laugh—"my current relationship, however one might describe it, with all three of you. I'd be grateful for any suggestions you have on how to manage this."
"Simple," Shima said. "Tell that batty herb witch that you've got more important things to do because you're already committed to studying with us."
"Ma'am, not only would that be breaking my oath of loyalty to the medical corps and possibly to the Hokage, not only would it utterly ruin my relationship with Lady Tsunade, it would also have her pull my spine out through my nose. No, I'm not going to tell her that."
"You're wanting us to delay your training, aren't you, boy?" Fukasaku demanded.
"It would definitely be helpful, sir. With respect, the medical research may be more time-sensitive than my general training; like Hazō told you, Leaf is in a bad position right now with all this Akatsuki stuff. My bloodline has already been a meaningful factor in a world war based solely on the very limited training I was given in it as a genin. If there are more secrets to unlock, it could be critical for turning this around. For example, Orochimaru told us that Konan is just a web of chakra stretching between sheets of paper; what if it's possible for me to suck that chakra out of the air and tear her apart?" He didn't mention that mist drain already made that conceivable, but mostly he didn't mention it because he didn't want to sidetrack the conversation. Besides, there was no way that he could drain fast enough to kill Konan before she could react. Not without more training.
"There's also the fact of relative time," Noburi continued. "I don't know if this is correct, but I'm hoping it is: the two of you are much longer-lived than humans. Would it be true that three months to you isn't as big a deal as it is to humans?" He held his breath; that question had been the subject of much debate among the Gōketsu during the planning for this session. It had come very close to being nixed.
"Of course three months is important! Why would you think we wouldn't care about three months, you brat? We have better things to do than sit around twiddling our fingers while you prance around down there until you finally deign to come and graciously permit us to train you!"
"Sir, I'm sorry," Noburi said. "I'm young and humans are short-lived compared to you; it's hard for me to know what time feels like from your perspective. I took a guess and I was wrong. I apologize."
"Hrmph." / "As you should."
"In any case, how would you like to proceed? I'm hoping that you'll be willing to let me delay the start of my training for three months until Lady Tsunade is done with me, and then I'm all yours all day every day. If that's not okay then...well, tell me what you would like me to do. You've been very kind to offer me training and I want to be respectful of that."
The two sages exchanged speaking looks, and head-tilts, and other marital communications.
"Fine," Shima grumbled. "Take your three months. Take us as your second pick behind that rude little tramp, it's fine. We're just the Toad Sages, after all. Not like it's an incredible honor to have us agree to train you."
"It really is, ma'am," Noburi said, riding right past the wagonload of guilt-trip. "Thank you for being willing to train me, and for being gracious enough to help me manage my different responsibilities."
He forced himself to let out his breath silently; it wouldn't do to ruin the 'calm and mature' look he had been struggling to maintain.
o-o-o-o
Hazō closed his eyes and let his senses sink into the ground around him. He couldn't at first, his chakra still too roiled and spiky after a day of running, his mind unwilling to release the zanshin necessary for traveling at ninja speed through the wilderness. The trip had taken him back in time to his missing-nin days and he found himself to aware, too raw, to achieve the stillness required by the Earthshaping jutsu.
It's all right, he assured himself. After they arrived at the abandoned gold mine, he had helped Kagome-sensei and Kei build an initial perimeter and both of them were on guard now. Hazō was as safe as if he were in his own bed—perhaps more so, since it was much less likely that Hidan would find him in a random chunk of bush than in his own bed at home.
He breathed, and slowly his mind calmed. Mental fingers unclenched, one by one, from the fistful of concerns that had been weighing on him. His chakra calmed and steadied until eventually it was able to slip into the soil without being rejected.
He spread his awareness out, introducing himself to every speck of soil, every jot and tittle of Earth that dwelt in the earth. He noticed what and where everything was, all the nuances of 'flavor' and 'sound' that defined the various natures around him. Most of it was the normal sort of thing that he found anywhere but, here and there, in tiny specks and small flecks, there were fragments of a yellow metal that sang a single-tone note with no other voices mixed in.
He waited until he had fully saturated the area with his chakra and identified the feeling of gold spread through it, and then he reached out with that chakra and twisted.
gold, you should be here, alone
am not
no. you should be
...am with others
yes, but you should be here, alone
...yes
As always, his brain struggled to interpret the inputs that the Earthshaping jutsu was feeding it as Hazō pulled and prodded. Finally, it all clicked together and the soil began to flow.
It was slow, painfully slow. The sun was on the horizon by the time he was done and the bottom of its disk was hidden behind the trees before he finished withdrawing all his chakra from the earth and stood up, sighing and brushing off his pants.
Kagome-sensei rolled his eyes. "You had to bring it up underneath yourself? You couldn't put it somewhere else? In front of you, maybe?"
"Oh come on. Tell me you've never wanted to sit on a literal mountain of gold."
Kagome-sensei sniffed. "Hardly a mountain."
Hazō rolled his eyes. "Fine. A metaphoric mountain, then."
"What's it a meta for?"
"For the amount of economic destruction Mari will rain down on our enemies with this much gold behind her! Mwahaha!"
Kagome-sensei nodded. "Sounds good. Maybe she can hire missions to kill all those Hagoromo stinkers."
"That's not... Sure, fine. Moving on: help me bag up all this gold dust, okay? I want to get at least a few hundred pounds of it back to Leaf tonight and Noburi is going to be checking in on the Seventh Path any minute."
Author's Note: You had your date with Ino, then left Leaf in the morning. I wanted to write the date but there wasn't enough in the tank.
The plan called to have Canvass sniff you over as you left the city, to make sure no trackers were on you. She smelled something weird on Kei that freaked her out, although she couldn't precisely identify it. It was on Hazō and Kagome as well, but probably as a secondary contact, she thought. (i.e. it got on Kei and then you interacted with her enough to get some of it on you.) All three of you scrubbed until it was gone.
It took a few hours to get to the gold mine, then you spent the rest of the day mining, several hours moving the gold dust to the Seventh Path, a night of not enough sleep, and then three days of travel. You have now set up your research base in Aisu Bay. The plan called for it to happen on a skytower but Kagome-sensei freaked out at the idea since it could involve a seal failure happening right on top of a Five Seal Barrier seal with who knows what weird interactions. Instead, you are set up on a flyspeck island that is just slightly to the right of the 'Y' in 'Aisu Bay' on the map. You will probably need to click to enlarge, then right click and 'open image in new tab' so that you can zoom in enough to see it.
We aren't going to get too fussy about how much gold there is in the mine aside from 'more than enough.' You can use Earthshaping's filtering ability to pull the pure gold dust out, no need to mix it with dirt. Earthshaping is fine with manipulating metal ore but it's not as good at manipulating pure metal (which gold is), so uniting it into ingots is possible but not practical. Instead, you shipped it home in bags as pure gold dust.
Once she had the dust in hand, Mari melted it into ingots and then went to Naruto and said "hey, yo, mah dude, take this vig and then mint the rest of it into coins for us." Naruto said "why are you talking like that? Also, fine, happy to do it, but I'm not going to have you destroying Leaf's economy. You can have all the coins that I mint but we'll need to set some rules about how much of it you use in Fire and the rest will have to be dumped on someone else's economy."
The Gōketsu now have enough to cover all their debts and several gracious plenties more.
Despite the impenetrable, flawlessly-isolating barrier that was Kagome's armoured door, the former missing-nin was so attuned to the surrounding environment that he reacted before Kei could knock a third time. She listened to the dragging sounds of metal against metal as Kagome slid back the bolts, taking this final moment to organise her thoughts.
Why had she come? What purpose could this meeting possibly serve? She had laughed, instinctively, when Hazō proposed that she speak to Kagome and assist him with his personal problems, with the deep scars left behind by the betrayal that was Ami's adoption and the more gradual degeneration of his role within the family that Hazō himself was struggling to grasp.
Kei was not a healer. Even Akane had not dared to do more than subtly hint at future possibilities, which Kei had rejected out of hand. A slug stood only to lose from dreaming of flight.
Yet warped as the logic was, it was also inexorable. Their family had been collapsing, slowly, silently, ever since Akane's death. Noburi, her second-in-command on the emotional front, was unequal to the task of serving as her replacement–unlike Akane, who had been somewhat directionless and instead devoted herself to others' needs, he now possessed a medical career to devour his time and energy. Hazō himself was, needless to say, occupied with greater concerns, and while he sometimes demonstrated miracles of insight that made him seem a guru of personal problems, his failures were as devastating as his successes were extraordinary (and sometimes simultaneous, as with his unilateral adoption of Ami). Her mother was an eliminator of problems, not a solver, and her powers were too dangerous–to herself most of all–to utilise full-time. Yuno was of little help for similar reasons to Kei.
Kei feared to imagine what would have become of her after Isan's destruction and Ami's disappearance had she been forced to rely on the Gōketsu for support. She feared to imagine what would transpire should a blow of similar magnitude strike a family member without an external support network like hers.
Of course he was surprised to see her actively seeking him out. The process of elimination that had remorselessly marked her for this task neglected their usual dynamic: the two least sensitive and most volatile members of the family took care, by silent agreement, to limit direct contact, lest one carelessly trigger the other's MARS array of issues and catastrophe result.
"Hazō suggested that I speak with you," Kei said frankly, aware that the sophisticated social dance necessary to disguise the fact was beyond her. "I believe it is his impression that, as one who has miraculously achieved an acceptable degree of functionality in the face of a history of extensive self-loathing, realism, and suicidal ideation, I may be of service to you in coping with your own difficulties. Needless to say, the idea is wildly delusional, but I request that you humour him nonetheless."
"What difficulties?" Kagome demanded in the tone of a man unjustly accused of murder. "I'm not having any difficulties, Kei. That's just ridiculous. Everything is fine."
"Of course," Kei said placidly. "Then it will not concern you that Ami has just sent word of her return, together with a detailed blueprint of the room she wishes constructed next to mine, exploiting functions of the Earthshaping Technique which by rights she should have no way of knowing."
Kagome's eyes grew wide. "She what? I have to–I have to…"
He looked wildly around the room, his eyes stopping on various seal designs littering his desk and pinned to his wall, seeking, evaluating.
Then he deflated. "I have to do something…" he said in the voice of a man already defeated.
"That was an illustrative deception," Kei said. "Of course she has not returned to us."
Kagome glared daggers at her. "That was cruel, Kei. You know how I feel about Mori."
Kei nodded. "And as your response was to implicitly accuse and/or threaten my sister in front of me, I believe we are even in terms of offence given, while my point has been effectively made.
"I assure you, Kagome, that your frustration at being forced to tolerate the trust with which this clan has treated Ami, persistently ignoring your expert opinion that she is a threat, has been fully mirrored by my frustration at being forced to tolerate the suspicion with which this clan has treated Ami, persistently ignoring my expert opinion that she is trustworthy. I appreciate that you must have felt isolated and ignored, the others taking it for granted that you would suppress your true feelings and support them in the world they believed themselves to live in rather than the world that was real–not because I possess the least insight into human nature, but because I have felt the same."
"Huh," Kagome said. "Hearing you say that… after I take the Kei-ness out of it, that's actually a good way of putting it."
"None taken," Kei muttered.
"What?"
"Never mind," Kei said. "Then you feel my assessment of the situation is fair?"
"I get why they did it," Kagome said. "They made a point of explaining–once it was too late, anyway. Hazō is a good kid, always has been. Him wanting to offer somebody redemption from time to time is just the kind of thing you have to live with. It's how I ended up part of this family, and I was… well, I nearly killed him when we first met. Nothing like Mori and her silver tongue. And I get the politics angle, too. Even I can see how incredibly useful somebody like her would be as an ally–the difference is that they've let down their guard enough to think she can be an ally, and I'm sorry, Kei, but there's nothing you can say to make me believe that deep down."
"It is not my business to attempt to persuade you," Kei said. "By this point, I have accepted that she will earn your trust through her own actions."
The look Kagome gave her was not simply uncomfortable. It was haunted, to the point that for a second Kei felt remorse for what Ami's mere existence had inflicted on this man.
"That's what I'm afraid of," Kagome whispered.
This unproductive line of discussion was not what Kei had been aiming for, but she supposed there had never been any possibility of dancing around the Ami in the room when both of them had two left feet, no knowledge of the steps, and the coordination of a civilian stunned by a banshee wren.
"Regardless," Kei said, "I did not come to relitigate the merits of Hazō's overdue decision. Rather, it is out of a vague and unjustified hope that I will possess some insight which may somehow be of value to you.
"You have acknowledged your feelings of being ignored and isolated. I have recently developed a… converse perspective on the matter. After an incident in which Hazō failed to consult me as his sanity-checker, to predictable effect, I began to appreciate the privilege involved in that sometimes onerous role. It is a matter of discomfort to observe how others within the clan, though vastly more qualified than I in a variety of significant domains, are consulted only on matters directly within their purview, and otherwise kept from the levers of power–usually not out of distrust or disrespect, but simply because their opinions are… not necessary.
"Hazō has magnificently transcended his youthful flaw of disregarding others' humanity, and from a Nara perspective, constraining the number of parties involved is a perfectly rational approach to optimising the decision-making process. Yet what must the experience be on the other side of the divide, aware of the frequency and regularity of these meetings, yet so rarely invited to participate?"
Kagome looked at her thoughtfully. "You're a good kid too, Kei."
She gave him a look of deepest scepticism, such as would plumb the bottomless chasms to their limit and awaken the sleeping primordial horrors whose wrath once tore the caverns now known as Hidden Rock out of the flesh of the earth. Kagome appeared not to notice.
"It's not even that I mind so much," he said. "I know full well that I'm not the politician in the family, and economics sends me running to the willowbark drawer. Most of the time, I imagine you talk about stuff I wouldn't be able to help with anyway. But…"
"But there is no more efficacious means to degrade one's self-esteem than to witness one's loved ones treat one as surplus to requirements," Kei concluded. "I was only four years younger than Ami–a significant distance, to be certain, but not to the point that her conversations with my parents on abstract topics did not eventually become comprehensible to me. Yet it was not until I observed interactions among the Nara that I learned that it is not a given that a child be discouraged from participation in adult conversations, even banished should her ignorant comments be judged distracting.
"At the time, however, the experience only reinforced my conviction that I was a creature of a different species from Ami, and my business was to attend to my studies–which, I hasten to add, my parents supported and encouraged, in full understanding that utility cannot be reaped without investment–while leaving matters of import to those with actual competence."
"Kei," Kagome said, "I know we don't often talk, but I want to make sure you know your parents are terrible people, and you did not deserve any of that. Besides, look at you now, second-in-command of the smartest clan in the world, Queen of the KEI, one of the village's big movers and shakers–shows what they knew, huh?"
"The extent to which any of those were my achievements, or deserved in any way, is subject to debate," Kei objected. "However… I am in the process of re-evaluating certain life lessons that have shaped my identity. The process is slow and torturous, especially in Akane's absence, and plagued with subjectivity, as it is nigh-impossible for me to distinguish between those experiences which are natural to childhood and to which I merely overreacted as a result of my personal failings and those which were… abnormal, representing genuine harm. Sometimes I still wonder if the latter category actually exists."
This was altogether more openness than her relationship with Kagome merited, Kei was aware. She had not even discussed the subject with Hazō. However, Akane had led by example when offering vulnerability to earn vulnerability, and what Kei could not achieve through being a person deserving of trust, she could at least imitate for instrumental purposes.
"However," she said, having reached her limits, "I did not come here to speak of myself. My intended point is that any suffering on your part from feelings of uselessness or neglect is both legitimate and understandable. So much so, in fact, that even I can understand and accept it, despite my general obliviousness to the inner lives of others."
Kagome simply sat and stared at her for a while. It did not feel like a glare; rather, he was processing, and she, as the trigger, happened to continue to be in his field of view. Kei suspected it might be a social faux pas, so she made a note to research it in the library later.
"Hazō's surpassed me as a sealmaster, you know," he said eventually. "I'm ever so proud of him. 3D sealing, the art of the original masters, can you imagine? As his teacher, I always hoped–no, knew–that it would happen eventually, and look at him. Only sixteen, and he's already left me in the dust."
"You should perhaps refrain from discussion of certain topics in casual conversation," Kei said coolly. Honestly, how did this clan survive the periods of her absence?
"Oh. I mean, we were only talking about… about freebie stealing! Yeah! Hazō just loves the, uh, thrill of crime even when he's already getting the thing for free, everybody knows that!"
Kei sighed.
"Am I to assume, given the overall topic, that this jubilation at Hazō's success is not unqualified?"
"Well, that's the thing, isn't it?" Kagome asked. "What's the good of a teacher with nothing left to teach? Might as well stick old Kagome in a nice secondary research facility and let him tinker with his chūnin-level toys, maybe get him some more apprentices and see if any of them survive–not that they will because he's stupid and can't even drum basic sealing safety into their heads–while the special jōnin goes off to change the world and maybe finds time to come talk shop once in a blue moon.
"It's a good thing. It's how it's supposed to be. I get it."
"And yet," Kei said.
"Yeah," Kagome said heavily. "Sorry to be dumping all of that on you, Kei. Things aren't that bad. Honestly. I mean it. Just… everybody has their own stuff going on–you more than anyone, the way I hear it–and I can't just go complaining to them over every little thing. Heck, I'm the oldest one here. I should at least try to act like an adult."
"Adulthood requires relying on others for support when necessary, and if one is in doubt, then it is necessary," Kei said. "It is a lesson I am steadfastly failing to learn, but fortunately I have people who equally steadfastly apply it to my cranium with percussive force at regular intervals."
Kagome gave her a look she was unable to read.
"It was a good talk, Kei," he said, which she understood meant he wished to terminate the interaction. Frankly, she was amazed he had tolerated her blundering attempts at emotional connection this long.
His next words thus took her completely by surprise.
"We should talk more. Maybe you can come by again sometime?"
But... what of their carefully-maintained social no man's land? Had he forgotten that only cataclysm could come of their extended direct interaction, as on the day she received Mewhō from the Nara Keiko Fan Club, when he thoughtlessly touched her without warning and she equally thoughtlessly cursed him for that innocent mistake? No, safety could be found only in separation, for both their sakes.
"You know," Kagome mused as she failed to assent, "I came across a curious carrot cake recipe in an Akimichi cookbook the other day. Apparently, Fire Country walnuts really enhance the taste if you prep them right. Of course, the Akimichi love to exaggerate, and what's 'out of this world' supposed to mean anyway?"
"I believe that if I reorganise my itinerary, I can generate a free evening slot by the end of the week."
Kei suspected that a more insightful being than she could read volumes into the fact that over the last three years, she had been or become estranged from five different family members, or that she had successfully reconnected with them all, or that over half of the reconnections were in some way Hazō's fault.
The two of them continued to stare at the patch of lichen that was happily sitting there, doing nothing except glowing very faintly whenever Hazō pointed the HOWS seal at it and going back to normal whenever he turned the seal away.
The Harumitsu's Outstanding World-Saving seal was a simple thing, almost a toy. It glowed slightly, with a flickering light the color of which could be chosen when the seal was infused; the more celestine the localization, the bluer the light. The average sealmaster would have looked at that and said "well, cool, that works, now let's go do something important."
Hazō was no ordinary sealmaster. He looked at the HOWS seal and said "hey, what happens if I make it as blue as possible and then make it even more blue?"
The answer was that the seal no longer emitted light, but sometimes when he pointed it at things they would glow in strange colors.
"Do you suppose..." Hazō trailed off. The idea was too crazy.
"That when you point a red-emitting HOWS at a thing the thing looks reddish, and when you point a green-emitting HOWS at a thing the thing looks greenish and this HOWS is emitting a color too blue to see, so when you point it at things they look whatever color that is?" Kagome-sensei said, gesturing towards the glowing lichen.
"'Too blue to see'?" Kei asked. "What could that even mean?"
"Hey, look," Hazō said, running over Kagome-sensei's reply. He waved the seal across HazōHOWSItGoing's face and pointed at the Shadow Clone's teeth; under the touch of the seal's effect they had begun to glow a soft white.
Kagome-sensei smiled slightly. "I figured he would. Don't worry about it."
"Anyway, how can there be a color too blue to see?" Hazō asked, leaning in to study his clones glowing dentition more closely.
They were camped on a tiny little island in the middle of Aisu Bay, fifty or sixty miles off the coast of Earth Country. The island was small enough to walk across in five minutes and it stood only five or six feet above the waves at its highest point. It was largely barren except for some hardy scrub brush whose roots had drilled their way into the stone surface and begun digesting it for nutrients. Lichen covered wide swaths that the brush didn't, and there were some seagrasses down by the rocky beach. Still, the island was far away from any possible prying eye, it had a freshwater spring in the center, and that was all the team needed.
"I wonder if watermelons are still sweet?" Kagome mused.
"What?"
"Nothing. The color thing makes sense, right?"
"It is logically coherent, if that is what you mean," Kei said. "As to the soundness of the assertion... I find myself dubious."
"Makes sense to me," said HazōHOWSItGoing. "Have to admit, I was kinda hoping for this."
"Why?" Kei asked, one eyebrow rising. "What good is a light source that sheds light one cannot see?"
Both Hazōs shrugged.
"Dunno," said Prime. "Still, we're looking for ways to kill some of the most unkillable people on the planet. The usual suspects aren't going to cut it—I can't just make a faster rock or a bigger fireball. We need weird stuff that they won't see coming and that normal defenses don't apply against. Weird light was the first thing that came to mind. Maybe it helps and maybe it doesn't, but we have to try something."
"A sensible framing," Kei said. "What will your next step be?"
"Not sure yet," Hazō said. "HOWSItGoing, how about you dispel so I can remember doing the infusion?" He held out one fist.
"On it." HazōHOWSItGoing said, rapping knuckles with his progenitor and immediately disappearing in a puff of smoke. Hazō stood still, head tipped in concentration as he absorbed the memories.
"Anything interesting?" Kagome-sensei asked.
"Not really. It was just like any other HOWS infusion, except more celestine."
"Hmph."
The three of them stood silently, watching the strange effect of the seal. After a moment, Kagome held out his hand and Hazō passed the seal over so that the senior sealmaster could play with it inspect it.
"How are you doing, Kei?" Hazō asked. "Everything okay in Pangolin?"
"The Condor Clan has evacuated and the peace of the east is holding, so at least I am not being compelled to murder slaves or Hyenas for no profit."
"Uh, that's good." Wow, what did one even say to that? Whatever it was, he didn't know it and Kei wasn't saying it, so he desperately cast about for a new topic.
"Kagome-sensei, how are you doing with the Scenery Clone seal array?"
"I'm working on it," Kagome-sensei snapped. "Stupid thing to put me on, if you ask me. I should be working on the rift so that we can recover Akane and Jiraiya-stinker, and keep those Akatsuki schnooks from bringing their Pain brat back." He sniffed. "Or you should be working on it, really, being the better sealmaster. One of us should be working on the rift, anyway. But it's fine. I'll keep plugging along on the silly 'conceal my encampment' seal array."
"Thank—"
"Actually," Kagome-sensei interrupted, "now that I think about it, it's better for me to be working on this array than you. You got it from SnakeStinker and you trust him way too much. Yup, better that I do it. I'll check the notes properly." He nodded firmly, then turned and marched off to the part of the island that he had claimed for his own research space.
"Uh...right," Hazō said, watching his teacher's retreating back. "Okay, well... I guess I'm going to go check on the other clones, see how their research is coming. Kei, want to join?"
She smiled slightly at the invitation. "Thank you, but no. I wish to check in with Noburi. He promised to— I mean, I want to see how our brother is."
"'He promised to' what?" Hazō asked, a grin spreading across his face. "Might the rest of that sentence have been 'deliver one or more lurid love letters to one or more of my numerous romantic entanglements and I am hoping a reply might be waiting'?"
Kei blushed as red as the blood that suddenly sprang from her finger where she had pricked it on her belt pin. "Summoning Technique: Pandā!"
Poof!
"Hi, Kei! Hi, Hazō!" The little pangolin looked around, claws drumming slowly on his belly. "Wow, this place smells awful. It's all salty and metallic. Why are you—"
"NevermindthatweneedtogogoodbyeHazō!" Kei squeaked, placing the tip of one finger on Pandā's head so that the young and surprised pangolin could whisk her off to another dimension.
Which he didn't do immediately, preferring instead to open his mouth for another question. Fortunately for Kei, a mild kick to the shins was enough to make him get an extradimensional move on.
Hazō watched the smoke of his sister's departure disperse and laughed. Once it was fully gone, he shook his head in amusement and went off to check on his shadow clones and their research progress on the various seals and runes he had assigned them.
o-o-o-o
Hazō threaded the last of his chakra out of the crystal and sighed, shifting position to relieve muscles that ached from hours of sitting motionless on the rocky ground.
He stood and walked around the runic blank, examining it from every angle. There was no point; he had already checked it thoroughly with the chakra sense granted by the Earthshaping jutsu. Still, he needed to move a bit and this was a good excuse.
Unsurprisingly, there were no visible problems.
He did a few quick toe-touches and backbends, then went off to find Kagome-sensei. The older sealmaster would have taken a filleting knife to Hazō if Hazō didn't invite him to a rune infusion.
"This is going to be boring," he reminded his teacher. "Seriously, it'll be an hour or so of me just sitting here like a blob."
Kagome-sensei grunted and pulled a beach chair, a straw hat, and a beach umbrella out of a storage seal. He got himself settled, then dug out a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate. He scruffled himself a nest in the chair and glared impatiently at Hazō.
"Well? Go on!"
"Right, sorry," Hazō said, smiling at his grumpy teacher. He sat down again, placed his hands on the blank, and began to lead his chakra into it with the obsessive caution that every sealmaster took when infusing a seal (or, in this case, a rune) for the first time.
The blank was strange, its internal chakra structure bent and looped on itself as a necessity of the design. Infusing it wasn't difficult per se, but Hazō was taking extra care since this was the first time. It ended up being closer to an hour and a half before he opened his eyes and glanced over to Kagome-sensei.
"I'm about to tie it off," he said quietly.
Kagome-sensei was up and out of his chair in a blink, everything vanishing back into seals within moments before he disappeared behind the nearest berm.
"Ready!" he called.
Hazō took a deep breath and closed the final loop of chakra inside the rune. Immediately, he Substituted away to where Kagome-sensei and HazōMeatBagMinion178012 waited.
Hazō had given up requesting that his clones not choose names like 'MeatBagMinion'. He also no longer bothered protesting that there had not been 178011 previous clones with that name—or, indeed, any clones with that name—but his clones had literal minds of their own and absent a direct order to change their names they would not be moved. He wasn't quite sure where they got their sense of 'humor' but it was definitely not from him.
The three waited silently for five minutes until it was clear that the newly-infused rune wasn't going to explode or convert the island into sausage or anything other than sit there. Finally, HazōMeatBagMinion178012 stood up and gave the two flesh people a jaunty wave.
"First activation of Fast Forward Rune, Mark I, proceeding! HazōMeatBagMinion178012 proceeding to the rune for activation! Equipment check: hourglass!" He produced the hourglass from his pocket and held it up to show it to both men. It was, obviously, a clone of the one that the actual Hazō had in his pocket. Hazō Prime pulled his out and held it up. Simultaneously, he and his clone flipped them over.
"Acknowledged," he said. "Good luck"—he sighed—"HazōMeatBagMinion178012." The name was infuriating but the least he could do was respect his clone's chosen identity when it was about to throw itself on a potential runic failure to protect Prime.
The shadow clone placed a hand melodramatically on his heart. "It is a far braver thing I do than has been done by—"
"Get on with it," Hazō said, caught between impatience, annoyance, and a smidgen of amusement.
HazōMeatBagMinion178012 sighed, long and windy. "Fine. Be you later." He jogged off down the berm.
"You're sure we're out of the area of effect?"
"Yes, sensei."
"Really sure? You did the math both ways?"
"Yup. I was careful, sensei. I used all the tricks you taught me. And yes, I did the dances."
Kagome-sensei nodded, not taking his eyes away from the telescope that he had trained on the rune. HazōMeatBagMinion178012 was in the process of laying his hand on the rune to activate it, and the senior sealmaster was not about to miss this.
The air—no, reality itself—rippled out from the Fast Forward Rune, rushing out in a hemisphere that stopped a comfortable twenty yards short of the berm where the two flesh people waited. It stopped and faded away, leaving no visible demarcation.
Hazō studied the rune and its surroundings through the telescope that Shino had given him; it was a wonderful tool that he firmly intended to make standard issue for every Gōketsu sealmaster going forward.
HazōMeatBagMinion178012 was standing next to the rune, undisturbed, unpopped, and apparently feeling fine. He carefully placed his hourglass on the ground and wedged it in place with a few rocks to make sure it didn't get knocked over by a gust of wind, and then he started walking a spiral search pattern around the rune, trying to see anything out of place. He was moving at a perfectly ordinary pace.
"Well, not as good as I was hoping," Hazō said with a sigh. "I can't see anything."
Kagome-sensei grunted. "S'what the hourglasses are for."
"I know, but...I was really hoping that it would be a big deal, right from this first version."
"Yeah, well, I'm just happy that it does what the math said it would do. It's bad when it doesn't."
"Fair point." Hazō settled in to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
And wait.
After far too long, HazōMeatBagMinion178012 turned to face them, raised his arms in a T-shape in front of his chest, and then bent to flip his hourglass over.
Hazō Prime and Kagome-sensei both looked down at Hazō's hourglass. It still had a bit of sand in it. They looked at each other, a smile spreading onto Hazō's face and a nervous one onto his teacher's.
When the hourglass ran out, Hazō flipped it over and went back to waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
Later, HazōMeatBagMinion178012 once again signalled time was up and flipped his hourglass over. Hazō Prime's hourglass had, as far as he could tell, twice as much sand still to run as it had the first time. Prime waited for his to run out, then flipped it. He couldn't keep the grin of delight off his face.
The single greatest challenge that Hazō faced in saving the world from Akatsuki, saving Akane and Jiraiya from the afterlife before they faded, and so many other things, was time. There simply wasn't enough of it to let him do the work he needed to do.
Now? Now, time was his to create.
Kagome-sensei looked very alarmed when Hazō started laughing and rubbing his hands in full-on 'evil vizier' fashion.
Day 1
Prep day on the Hot Pocket Rune. Prep for RRBs and Force Walls.
Result: Hazō thinks he could maybe do this rune.
Hazōpilot has a slight concern with this line of research. While the rune will be stable, he is worried that the rune pushing the storage seal too much may cause the storage matrix to fail. For instance, imagine a rune that doubles the mass of the storage seal contents—what would happen if this breaks the 100kg limit? Hazō doesn't know, and he doesn't want to be nearby when someone finds out.
Day 2
Prep day on Chakra Mapping Rune. Prep for RRBs and Force Walls.
Hazō doesn't know how he would distinguish between human and nature chakra. He tries prepping the rune to measure the general chakra field around the rune, on the assumption that at the very least this would provide good veterancy for a human chakra-specific version.
Result: Hazō thinks this rune is well within his capabilities.
Day 3
Prep day on Chakra Filtering Rune. Prep for RRBs and Force Walls.
Result: Hazō thinks this rune is beyond his capabilities.
Day 4
Research Jiraiya's Cooling Seals. Prep for RRBs and Force Walls.
Despite awful calligraphy rolls, the project is easily completed. The Cooling Seal chills an attached object of up to 100kg down to around 0 degrees Celsius. Cooling takes ~10 seconds per kg of the attached object, and the seal burns out after an hour – which can be broken up by deactivating the seal. The object is cooled evenly, and can be heated by sufficiently strong external forces (e.g. an oven, a forge).
Day 7
Research Force Walls. Prep for RRBs and Fast Forward Rune.
Not having an assistant is definitely slowing Hazō down somewhat, but he thinks he's comfortably more than halfway done.
Fast Forward Rune
Hazō (Earthshaping): 50 - 6 (timeladdering down) + 0 = 44
Hazō (Primordial Sealing): 15 + 25 (crossover bonus from SSA-boosted Sealing) + 4 (prep) - 3 = 41
This is a medium-size rune, consuming 5 units of runic substrate, leaving 2166 units. Hazō completes research on the Fast Forward Rune!
Speeds up time by 3% in the zone the rune is in plus the adjacent zones (i.e. 3x3 grid of zones). Nothing interesting seems to happen while crossing the boundary. Lasts 1 month.
Day 10
SSA recovery.
Day 11
SSA recovery.
Kagome makes progress on the Scenery Clone Seal Array and says he'll likely be done within a month.
This update covered 11 days.
XP AWARD: 46
Brevity XP: 10 (caps at 10)
"GM had fun" XP: 5 I regret not getting to the Cannai stuff, but this was still fun.
By default the next update will feature the rest of this plan, so voting remains closed unless @Paperclipped or @Velorien open it. (If they do then it's a new plan and you should re-vote the Cannai scenes.)
"Greetings, obstreperous brat. Are you finally coming to pay your proper respects to me, or will I need to beat some sense into your sorry hindquarters?"
The disorientation and fading pain of reverse summoning had Hazō spinning until he found Cannai. The Alpha of the Dog Clan was sitting on his haunches, comfortably twice Hazō's height, and glaring at the summoner.
Hazō apparently didn't find words quickly enough, because Cannai's tongue quickly lolled back out. "I sense no respect coming from you, summoner. Was my impression of the Toad Sages inadequate, or are you treating them similarly disrespectfully?"
Hazō shook his head. "It was a fine impression, Cannai. But they normally put some oomph into their lines, instead of delivering it deadpan."
"Well, perhaps I must go ask them to teach me and hope they don't beat their lessons into my sorry hindquarters," Cannai said, panting in amusement. "By your lack of major injury, I presume your jutsu modification lessons are progressing nicely?"
"Well enough," Hazō sighed. "They're not as nice as my old teacher, but they're clearly far more knowledgeable. I don't know if that's a good thing though – they're worse at communicating the basic concepts, I think. Also, their technique hacking tradition is completely different from the one I was learning, so it's really hard trying to learn all the new abstractions and models they're using. At least some of the stuff I learned carries over, like sensing my own chakra system. Honestly, given how different humans' and summons' chakra is, I don't think any other summon could teach me technique hacking. Those two have the advantage of centuries working with humans."
"Old and learned as they may be, I still found their attitude rather poor," Cannai said, raising his nose. "One would expect such ancient beings to have self-respect instead of just pride, yet they are still cantankerous and rude."
"That they are," Hazō said. "But they're still good teachers."
"Oh? Everything you described didn't sound very complimentary."
"I was just griping!" Hazō complained. "They're not very forgiving of mistakes, and they brutally mock me whenever I forget an instruction, but they're razor sharp at actually catching those mistakes, and they have a dozen tricks to break me out of any rut I get stuck in."
"Hm," Cannai said. "Well, they are providing their knowledge to my clan's summoner free of charge, so I ought to show restraint and refrain from foul-mouthing them further."
"Probably for the better. How have matters been in Dog, lately?"
"Easy," Cannai said. "A few have complained about the lack of access to the various traded goods from Pangolin, but in truth there were only ever a few who depended on the Conclave's trades in the first place. The challenge we face is not in Dog, but in Hyena."
"What is the situation there?" Hazō said. "I heard the peace was holding, which is kind of a surprise given how aggressive the Pangolins have been in the past."
"Peace is not static, summoner. It is always dynamic. The peace is holding because the Pangolins are repeatedly relocating their troops to try to gain a strategic advantage, and we constantly adjust our defense to prevent them from finding an opportunity for a decisive victory. No fighting has yet begun, no blood drawn, but this is a situation maintained by our active effort. Or so Haikari tells me – my senses obviously do not extend so far as the eastern border of Hyena."
"I see. Haikari is the new leader of Hyena?"
"Indeed she is. Haiwarai was a leader who rose in a time of peace, for peace. Haikari is a blooded warrior. Despite being new to the mantle, in some ways I expect she will be better equipped to defend Hyena's land. That her reign is starting with a much-needed alliance with Dog is also an asset to us – already, we are more friendly than Haiwarai and I ever were."
"And the hyenas are treating our clan's warriors well?"
"To an extent," Cannai said, settling down but keeping his head perked up to be comfortably at Hazō's eye level. "Our warriors were killing their warriors and vice-versa in living memory. It is a hard thing to forget that the hyena by your side may have tasted your brother's blood between his jaws. Cooperation comes slowly, but Haikari has granted some strategic oversight to our pack leaders, so they will hopefully not be blindly given the most lethal assignments out of selfishness. Still, it is an unsure thing. I know that every one of them left Dog willingly, yet I still regret that many of them will never return."
"I'm sorry," Hazō said.
Cannai cocked his head. "Perhaps you are right to be sorry, given that this is ultimately caused by your invention prompting the Pangolins towards conquest. However, at this point, it cannot be stopped. Hyena will fight to recover the lands they lost, and Pangolin will not settle for keeping what they have stolen – they must expand. If you wished to help, I am certain your aid would be welcome on the front lines. Your combat power is irrelevant in this phase of war making, because merely being able to scout and pass messages instantly between points on the front would be a decisive factor in Hyena's favor. Yet, I am aware you have better things to do with your time."
Hazō shook his head. "Akatsuki is on the cusp of bringing Pain back. I don't know how many months we have until that happens, but if it happens, the whole Human Path could be lost. I just can't afford to spend hours every day scouting on the Seventh Path. Speaking of which, my assignment's changed. The Hokage has taken charge of the situation and given me an actual order: to build weapons to kill Akatsuki."
"If I recall, this is done at no small risk to himself, correct?" Cannai asked. "If Akatsuki discovers that your packleader is actively opposing them rather than merely allowing you to do so by oversight, based on the scant impressions I have received from you, I do not think Akatsuki would take it kindly."
"That sounds right. Either way, I need to figure out a way to kill some of the strongest ninja in the Elemental Nations."
Cannai perked up.
"And my chakra reserves are still not large enough to summon you."
Cannai lowered his head back down.
"One of my ideas was to work with chakra itself. Since all their strength comes from their ability to use chakra, if I can somehow change, limit, or take away that ability, then killing them gets a lot easier. I wanted to ask you some questions about that."
"Ask away, summoner. I can only hope that I have answers to your questions."
"Well, how much do you know about the philosophy of chakra? What do you think chakra is, really?"
"Ah," Cannai said. "This is related to your conversation with old King Kamehameha, isn't it? I do believe… just about everyone on the Seventh Path's south coast would have overheard it, given the King's prodigious volume. I'm sure there were no small number of Clan Bosses who were appalled by the wonderful tales he fed you, and who would have been happy to disabuse you of said nonsense with nonsense of their own. I should be grateful that you came to me first.
"Relatedly, chakra is not the thoughts of kami, whatever that would mean. Chakra does not have will in the way that thoughts do – chakra does not do anything on its own. Instead, it is known that chakra is the lifeforce of the Sage of the Six Paths, gifted from him to his many children – from the human ninja to the various seventh Path Clans. Gifted once, it remains eternal. When a Dog dies, their soul is split. Their essence is reincarnated, their knowledge fades away, and their vitality, their chakra, returns to Dog, to the lands, the skies, and the waters."
"So chakra is just… the Sage's power?"
"What else would it be?" Cannai said. "Is the Human Path so far gone that you have forgotten that it was the Sage who created chakra?"
"No," Hazō said, "it's just that others have told me differently. So then what's the difference between human and nature chakra?"
"These are the types of chakra you spoke about with Kamehameha? Where the Turtle King was mistaken before, here he was merely nipping your tail. I do not believe he has any particular reason to believe there are precisely fourteen types of chakra – that would be absurd. As to what they are specifically? I do not know. Perhaps some of our bards would know more, but the terms are unfamiliar to me. I am of course well aware that humans and dogs use chakra quite differently."
"Then how about the elements? Nature chakra, the type of chakra that dogs use, has so many more elements than human chakra, which only has five. Why is that the case?"
Cannai stared at Hazō for a moment, then looked away, down the hillside. "I confess I haven't really thought about it, summoner. Why is the plain different than the mountain? Why does the river flow down, and the trees grow up? Such things do not require explanations. They just are."
Idyllic as it may be, a mindset like that wasn't going to help Hazō make Akatsuki-killing weaponry.
"Have you ever heard of a human using nature chakra? Maybe by learning to use an element that isn't one of the human five?"
"I do not believe I have. That human elements are so limited frequently frustrated Kakashi when he was attempting to learn the various jutsu the Dog Clan had to offer."
"Well, maybe that's reasonable. Jiraiya warned us that using nature chakra could be deadly to a human, and the Toad Sages let it slip that training to use it might turn you into a rock. Still, apparently they can train someone to use it and combine it with human chakra. Do the Dogs have any knowledge of this?"
"Unfortunately not, summoner."
"I see. One last question – I've heard before that chakra is like a hilly landscape, and that we regenerate chakra by 'walking up' the hill, then expend it by going back down, gaining power like a ball would when it rolls down a slope. Does that make sense?"
"It seems like an explanation, summoner. Is it one that has any grounding in reality? I do not know. I often find such explanations are ways of fooling ourselves into thinking we understand, rather than a way of gaining true understanding."
"Well, if that's the case, I think it might be possible to make a seal that evens out the 'landscape', making it hard to regenerate chakra, or impossible to expend it. If I could make it specific to only human chakra, then I could shut down humans in combat while letting my summons fight unimpeded. Do you think something like that could be possible?"
"You are the foremost expert in whether something can or cannot be achieved by sealcraft. As to whether it is possible to manipulate chakra to make jutsu easier or harder to cast…"
Cannai paused. He waited for a few seconds. "You may try to cast a jutsu, summoner."
Hazō raised an eyebrow. Had Cannai done something to the surrounding chakra? He palmed a Poor Man's Yellow Flash disk from his pocket and threw it, unsealing a small log a dozen feet away. Hazō focused for a moment, pulling the chakra in his coils together for a Substitution technique.
He swapped with the log.
"What did you feel, summoner?"
"It felt the same," Hazō said.
Cannai didn't answer for a few seconds longer. "Try once more."
Hazō substituted with the log again, bringing him back to Cannai's side.
"Still no difference," Hazō said with a faint feeling of disappointment.
"Hm. Well, perhaps there is something more subtle I must do to achieve the desired effect. Or perhaps it is not possible at all. Who can tell?
"Regardless," Cannai continued, "I first tried to pull all the chakra away from you. Second, I tried to condense the chakra around you to suffocate you in it. If neither of these did anything…" his tail thwapped side to side, "then I know not exactly what is required. If you can tell me more precisely what I should be doing, then I would be glad to aid you in whatever experiments you wish. Otherwise, I will have to defer to your superior wisdom as a sealmaster in how this should be achieved."
"Ah, that's a shame," Hazō said. "Still, thank you for trying."
"You are welcome, summoner. If that is the end of your questions for me, do you have other pressing business? Canabisu wishes to give you a 'general debrief' of his findings after two years in Arachnid. I understand it was quite stressful for him to spend so long away from his pack, surrounded by only alien creatures of such a different culture, and you are one of the few that was with him in this unusual travail. I believe he also has plans to 'rehabilitate' Cantelabra, who spent so much of his youth among spiders instead of a proper dog pack, with which he would like your assistance."
"I can stay for another ten minutes," Hazō said, mentally picking through his plans for the day. "But… I do have to get to Toad by dawn for my training."
"I see," Cannai said. "Well, perhaps you will be free this evening? The Gray Oak pack is holding a taleswap in memory of Canaut, and they have made a humble request for your presence."
Hazō winced. "Once the training is over, I have seals to research. Depending on its duration, maybe I could join after the research is finished? Assuming no complications, of course."
"It is fine, summoner. Go and be a dutiful student. Canabisu will understand that you do not want ill-mannered Toads ripping your limbs off, I'm sure. You do not need to push yourself to rush your research. The Gray Oak pack would be grateful for your presence on another day. Time does not matter to the dead; they can always wait."
o-o-o
Hazō sat in front of the rune blank, considering it.
It was going to be dangerous. Maybe. That was the worst part of it. He didn't know whether the rune would fizzle out harmlessly, or whether it would cause a catastrophe beyond even Kagome-sensei's worst imaginations.
Hazō had invented two runes so far. The explosive rune had been drop-dead simple, just like the explosive seal had been. Just poke a hole out of the prison the Sage had named chakra, command up as much energy as you can, then let it all blast free. The math, the theory, designing the components had all been easy. When it came time to infuse the rune, he had been sure beyond sure that he knew what it would do.
The Fast Forward Rune… had not been so simple. Pulling on the threads of time was no mean feat, and it had taken hours for Hazō to even begin to conceptualize how he might start doing that. Still, over the course of days of research, he'd managed it. When he'd infused the rune, he'd known for certain what would come of it. At least, as long as he didn't introduce the tiniest of errors while earthshaping the blank, and as long as he stayed in perfect control of his chakra while infusing.
Unfortunately, while the threads of time didn't object to Hazō's gentle touch, Hazō just couldn't figure out how to properly, fully bend them to his will. The rune he imagined himself needing was too complex, trying to spend too much power through too few conduits to be safe. He couldn't figure out exactly what he needed to compress time to an actually relevant level.
Or at least, he couldn't without experimentation. When researching seals, Hazō made prototypes. Lots of them in fact. Often, those prototypes tested tiny, trivial properties of individual components (something he could not frivolously do with his limited supply of runic substrate), but he also frequently took weeks to design major prototypes of critical functions of the final seal before he put it all together in the end.
The chakra wasn't fully bound in those prototypes. The exact specification of what each intermediary seal needed to do was left partially incomplete by their very nature. This caused tiny sealing failures, but not the dangerous kind. As long as he made every brushstroke correct and stayed in complete control of his chakra, there was no real risk to him.
Major sealing failures were dangerous but probably not world-ending (as long as Hazō discounted the most extreme of Kagome-sensei and Jiraiya's stories). Tiny sealing failures, on the other hand, were totally manageable. Hazō had no clue what a full runic failure would entail, but runes were more than seals in every way, and that probably included the size of the crater left behind by a failure. He didn't expect he would survive it if he ever caused one. But what was a tiny runic failure going to look like?
He'd played around with the plans for the prototype. He'd analyzed it from every angle he could, even developed new bits of theory to try to find a way to keep the runic chakra fully bound and to keep any undefined behavior from happening. He hadn't found it. If he wanted to make progress on the next iteration of the Fast Forward rune, he needed to infuse a prototype.
He was a shadow clone, of course. Prime was on a skytower, two miles out and a mile up, and would reverse summon at first notice. Kagome and Kei were both on the Seventh Path, and wouldn't return until Hazō gave them the all-clear. Plus, it wasn't going to be a full runic failure. Only a tiny part of the overall energy would be unbound and free to act randomly. They'd all live. Probably.
But why couldn't he shake the faint feeling that he teetered on the cusp of catastrophe?
He shook his head gently, smoothing out the ripples in his chakra control caused by his anxiety. He was only playing with time itself, not any particularly lethal force. They'd placed a collection of things beside the weaker Fast Forward rune, including moss, grass, lichens, and potted plants from Leaf. They'd even jarred some of the island gnats and caught some sea creatures (a fire-breathing turtle and a strange crab-scorpion thing whose claws dripped venom) to keep in a stone box by the rune. So far, nothing had shown any ill effects.
Slowly, calmly, he lifted his hand and placed it upon the rune. He hadn't even begun the infusion, yet his hand felt heavy, weighed down by the metaphysical gravity of what he was about to do.
He opened his mind, letting his soul slip sideways into that place where he understood. He knew what he needed to do. He laced his chakra into the rune, little by little. His list of infusion instructions was etched into his mind like iron, and he followed it step by agonizing step, taking the utmost care in every instant to never let his chakra slip from his grasp in the slightest.
Finally, he twisted his chakra into place, unlocking the raw power of the universe and forcing it, momentarily, to move according to the structure he had created. For a moment, he felt disembodied, like falling through a void in every direction at once, simultaneously motionless and about to impact solid stone.
The infusion had succeeded. Hazō backed away, finally releasing his control over his breath. He panted, wiping the sweat from his brow. The rune was humming again, a low susurration that he couldn't help but interpret as reality moaning as he twisted it into impossible shapes. The setting sun's golden light barely let him see the rune's glow, more blue than purple, as it sat upon the short granite pedestal he'd made for it.
Hazō pushed it experimentally. This rune also refused to move.
He sighed. There was only one thing to do now.
He reached out and fed his chakra into the rune. Energy built up in the rune, and built and built until suddenly the rune activated. Reality warped in a pulse from the rune as before, but something was different. From the center, Hazō couldn't tell, but the pulse was jagged instead of smooth, moving faster than it had the last time.
Hazō chain-substituted back as the runic hum turned into a squeal, into a shriek. He was just ducking behind cover when he saw the rune shatter.
He waited for several long, silent minutes before he poked his head out. The remnants of the rune were mostly contained on the pedestal, though a few shards seemed like they had fallen into the sand.
He started walking towards it. If he'd been Prime, he would have waited hours longer, observing from a distance with a telescope and leading his entry with a twelve-foot pole, but as MeatbagMinion189281, it was his duty to die in illustrative manners for Prime's sake.
He stopped a moment later. The island's gnats had frozen.
Surrounding the rune in every direction, the small, black bugs that came out to swarm at sundown had frozen dead in midair. He could still hear the faint sound of their buzzing. He turned and saw behind him, the gnats were still swarming. Only the ones within a few dozen yards of the rune had been caught in the effect.
Experimentally, he reached out to touch one. It resisted his touch at first, like he was trying to push a stone through honey. After a moment, it dropped into his palm. It still didn't move. He prodded at the sand within the area. It parted normally at his touch.
Why had gnats been affected, but he made it out okay? Was it because he was the one that infused the rune? Was it that he had chakra that resisted foreign effects, and the insects didn't have that protection?
Hazō looked at the hemisphere of frozen time he'd made, trapping tens of thousands of (admittedly insignificant) beings within its reach.
Runes were powerful, and researching them was going to cause far more trouble than he'd thought.
I skipped the following plan line:
Share what we learned from Orochimaru, does it match his experience as a Clan Boss?
As Hazō learned a lot from Orochimaru, this really doesn't pin anything down.
Day 1
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Force Walls.
Prep Faster Forward Rune v1. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is well within his capabilities.
Day 2
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Force Walls.
Prep Faster Forward Rune v2. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is well within his capabilities.
Below, all lines referencing "Faster Forward Rune" reference the V2.
Day 3
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Force Walls.
Prep Anti-Substitution Seal. Difficulty result: Jiraiya
Day 4
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Force Walls.
Prep Substitution-Triggered ARS. Difficulty result: Chūnin
Day 5
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Air-Conditioning Seal. Difficulty result: Genin
Infuse Force Walls.
[NB: With rolls this bad, I would normally have Hazō reroll, but he did some prep, and he recently pumped Calligraphy, so he's still confident in his new score. No reroll.]
With great difficulty and an unknown distance to disaster, Hazō finishes the Force Wall seal! Tentative mechanics: Not viable in combat, grants the taggable Aspect "Invisible Cutting Edges" on Trapmaking checks with a minimum TN of 50, and can be used to make Weapons:3 traps.
Day 6
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Force Claws. Difficulty result: Jōnin.
The Force Wall seal's effect is created and delineated by its paired seals. Without a seal on the other side to maintain the effect and define the boundary, Hazō thinks it'll be tricky to project the cutting field super far. That said, Hazō thinks if he anchored the seal to an object, perhaps his Pangolin gauntlets, he could add an extended, invisible blade along the object's existing edges…
Prep Demolition Rune. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is beyond his capabilities.
This pacing is a little slow, but definitely comfortable. Hazō makes healthy progress on this seal; he thinks he's around a third of the way done.
Day 8
Prep RRBs.
Prep Faster Forward Rune.
Prep Demolition Seal. Difficulty result: Jōnin
Prep Ninja-radar rune. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks he could maybe do this rune.
Day 9
Prep Superchiller Rune. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is well within his capabilities.
Prep Goo Grenade. Difficulty result: Genin
Infuse RRBs.
Hazō's making good progress. Perhaps with a good assistant, he would have been finished by now. Regardless, he thinks that with luck, he should finish this seal in one more cycle.
[NB: No reroll since Hazō's Earthshaping is still quite high relative to his Primordial Sealing, though it's getting close… Congrats to him for rolling PrimSeal above ES for the first time!]
This rune is definitely a bit harder than he was expecting. He'll continue, but with slight discomfort. He thinks he's about a third of the way done.
Day 10
SSA recovery.
Day 11
SSA recovery.
Day 12
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Reality Stabilizer Rune. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is beyond his capabilities.
Prep KISS. Difficulty result: Chūnin
Day 13
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Reverse Chakra Filtering Rune. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is beyond his capabilities.
Prep Time Stretch Rune. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is well within his capabilities.
Day 14
Prep RRBs.
Prep CATEARS.
Prep Pause Rune. Difficulty result: Hazō thinks this rune is beyond his capabilities.
Infuse Earth Bullet.
Hazō completes the Explosive 2.0. It's a slightly bigger boom. Tentative mechanics: Same as explosive seal, but the dodge TN is 42 instead of 40. The returns are definitely diminishing, but he could probably try to research a chūnin-tier version…
Day 20 [Per the temporary rule this cycle, Hazō gets 1 free Fate Point, bringing him up to 2 FP. He then buys 2 FP, bringing him up to 4 FP.]
Infuse Earth Bullet.
Hazō completes the Earth Bullet seal. Tentative function: works on the nearest 1kg of dirt (usually between the user's feet). Dirt must be within Melee of the seal. Launches the dirt in the direction the seal is facing. Dirt gains no internal cohesion, and it doesn't work on non-loose material (e.g. stone). Not combat viable, no mechanics required.
Hazō completes RRBs! They're like Rocket Boots but reusable, with the strength and durability of the seal tuned up as well. Tentative mechanics: Reflexive Supplemental to activate, grants (+Sealmaster Sealing AB + 1; +9 for Hazō) to all physical rolls while active, grants +1 shift on Sprint actions while active, lasts 30 seconds. Hazō's Sealing stagnancy has cleared, and he gains 1 FP for overcoming this challenging project.
Hazō's making steady progress, and slowly gaining comfort with rune research. He thinks he's around two-thirds of the way done, and can finish this in another cycle with Jashin's luck.
Day 21
SSA recovery.
Day 22
SSA recovery.
You set up many past-blue HOWS of varying levels of past-blue, and set them up facing a wide variety of flora and fauna (see the list of creatures in the rune radius for inspiration). No negative effects were observed.
A Light Relay tuned to past-blue successfully emits past-blue when exposed to a past-blue HOWS.
You left your island and found another, larger, lightly wooded island to the northeast, getting near Snow Country territory. Hazō buried the Fast Forward Rune a hundred feet underground, and he tried to clean up as many of the time-frozen gnats as he could, though some certainly slipped through the cracks. Hazō's second runic prototype infusion on the new island seems to have affected the fauna again – this time causing the birds and bees nearby to hasten and slow. Unfortunately, genjutsu-laden birdsong that accelerates and decelerates at random is not pleasant to listen to.
You briefed Kagome and Kei on the Akatsuki dossier. Kei was suitably pessimistic about your odds of victory. They'll think about countermeasures, but neither of them are particularly adept weapons designers, relatively speaking. They can't judge the ideas fully without knowing what exactly they entail, and even Hazō can't predict exactly what these runes will do, so their best feedback in order is:
Time Stop Runes
Kagome: Time stopping them is basically the same as killing them, seems fine. Even if it's temporary, lots of ways to kill them if you can set up outside it.
Kei: Agrees, this seems like the right category of effect to counter their absurd defensive powers.
Chakra Potential Runes
Kagome: Some of them are sealmasters, so maybe will have chakra-free alternatives. Chakra-drainers exist, so they might have at least put some thought to what they'd do without chakra.
Kei: Important factors here: would shut down active ninjutsu, or just prevent casting more? Would it shut down bloodlines?
Hot Pocket Runes
Kagome: Seems great. Bigger boom.
Kei: Assuming some level of in-team paranoia (S-rank ninja, so guaranteed), they may have some plans to deal with big boom. Still, big boom is always a good start.
Runes that activate seals
Kagome: Isn't going to kill Konan, but shuts down a key capability. What's the plan for actually killing her?
Kei: It mimics her own ability, so it's not completely new like Time Stop. Still seems super promising to turn it against her.
Runes that disrupt chakra threads
Kagome: This is probably going to require a chakra thread user to adequately develop. Do we need to go capture a Sand ninja?
Kei: Sounds like it would totally nullify Sasori. There's probably some complication here making it not so easy… but it sounds like it would work.
General feedback:
Kagome: (no feedback, just envious about Hazō runecrafting big fancy weapons, and him not being able to do that)
Kei: It sounds like there are lots of ways to kill them if we can lure them into range of the glowing, humming, static, slow-to-activate runes. The most important thing, then, is finding a way to reliably get them into range to activate a rune. Assume they're not going to be fooled by trivial things like "start an engagement, run to a prepared site, they chase us into trap/ambush". Solve a way to reliably deliver the rune effect, and then slot in whatever kill rune is required to win the current conflict. Without a delivery mechanism, all the kill runes in the world do nothing.
Hazō's technique hacking lessons are progressing well. He misses having Ino to learn beside, to check his understanding with, and to bounce ideas off of.
Hazō has spent 7 FP, bought 3 FP, gotten 1 FP for free thanks to the temporary rule this cycle, earned 1 FP for completing a difficult project, and refreshed 1 FP. Net: -1 FP.
It was with some unease that Hazō approached Kei when he saw her apparently napping on a grassy knoll. On the Human Path, this would have been suicidal: pick the wrong knoll (blue flowers were a particular danger sign), and you would drift off quickly and peacefully, and there were no survivors to speak of what happened next, nor even bones to be found. They were almost as bad as gazebos, and Hazō had been horrified to learn that those actually existed on the mainland, as opposed to being a metaphor for landlubbers getting killed by their own laziness.
Come to think of it, Kei, with her alphabetical knowledge of means of suicide, probably knew exactly how to identify a suitable grassy knoll, in which case it made more sense for her to be at ease on an obviously safe one.
She turned at his approach, eyes opening, and Hazō felt a touch of relief. It was one thing to relax in foreign territory with no one keeping watch, another completely to ignore a potentially hostile shinobi's approach. From the sister forged in the same fires as him, it would have been cause to suspect lupchanzen.
"Hazō," she acknowledged. "Apologies. I realise it must be past check-in time, but I desperately needed respite after my illl-judged attempt to engage my pangolin subordinates in philosophical discussion. It was as I imagine speaking to Hyūga Hiashi might have been, save that he allegedly possessed enough intellectual sophistication to argue compellingly for his beliefs, assuming sufficient respect for his interlocutor."
"No worries," Hazō said. "I got caught up in organising my notes myself. Apparently, leaving a notebook's worth of transcription to Hazō JustKillMeNow, who didn't have it already stored in the Iron Nerve, wasn't my brightest idea ever.
"Still, Kei, a grassy knoll? Even on the Seventh Path, I'm impressed you were able to let your guard down enough."
Kei gazed up at the distant firmament.
"Here, it is safe to imagine," she said softly. "Just think of it, Hazō. A few minutes of indolent peace, then your eyes close slowly, and there is no more pressure. No more obligations. No more risk of suffering or even death for those around you should you once misstep."
Even without seeing his face, she must have somehow sensed Hazō's horrified stare.
"No need for that, Hazō," she said testily. "Suicidal ideation is harmless without intent, and I would hardly murder Snowflake for the sake of my own selfishness."
"And also you value your life too much," Hazō prompted.
"And also I value my life too much," Kei agreed. "To fail to change the subject, how goes the mission? What news from Aisu Bay Murderland?"
"I wish you wouldn't keep calling it that," Hazō muttered.
"Kagome and I outvoted you," Kei said, "if perhaps for different reasons."
"And that's another thing," Hazō grumbled. "Since when were you two swimming in the same current?"
"There would have been no hope for you in any scenario," Kei said in lieu of answering the question. "Noburi possesses a marked tendency to side with me when he is not counterbalancing my social ineptitude, and would have chosen the option most likely to annoy you even were I absent. Mari would have found it hilarious. Yuno would have sided with either her husband or the Pangolin Summoner. In fact, why are you the clan head again?"
"Because nobody else wants the workload."
"Fair."
"To answer your question," Hazō said, "all is well. The time control rune research is moving forward even faster than the last time you asked, though I'm torn between a bunch of ideas for the naming scheme–no suggestions, please, Lady Aisu Bay Murderland."
"So this is the taste of instant karma."
"Sure is," Hazō agreed. "I really thought the Kittensphere and the Snow Globe had taught you better. Anyway, I do have something I wanted to consult you about."
Kei sat up at the more serious tone.
"I can replicate the effect of Elemental Mastery with a rune," Hazō said without preamble. "I don't mean hypothetically. I mean, I can see the research pathway, and it's within my reach. I haven't done the groundwork yet, but my guess would be a matter of weeks rather than months."
It was Kei's turn for the horrified stare, which did not bode well. Hazō hurried on.
"I know it's dangerous. I've been hesitating. But still, looking at my other research, it's not like there aren't plenty of other ways to destroy a city, and runes aren't going to proliferate the way anybody with Fire Element affinity could learn Elemental Mastery.
"More importantly, think about what it would mean. The summoners could reverse-summon if they were fast enough, and Orochimaru's dossier suggests that Konan might make it. But Sasori? Deidara? Hidan? Half of Akatsuki gone. Nothing but dust.
"But you're my sanity checker. Frankly, all things considered, there's nobody whose feedback matters more." Admittedly, that was out of the tiny handful of people who even knew about Elemental Mastery. "What do you think?"
"Hazō," Kei said after a few seconds. "Hazō. You are labouring under a fundamental, cataclysmic misperception. Elemental Mastery is not an anti-Akatsuki weapon. It is a city-killer that possesses an incidental application in destroying Akatsuki, just as the Great Fireball Technique possesses an incidental application in pest control. That you have other routes to city-killers is not something to boast about–it merely means that most of the same objections must apply to them as well.
"Before anything else, did you learn nothing from the original incident? You are delivering city-killers to the Hokage. To be sure, the Eighth is of a different mould to the Seventh, and is a man to whom I am prepared to feel a certain amount of actual loyalty, but he is human, just as the Seventh was human. You wish him to live his entire life with the temptation of ultimate destructive power, of eliminating any given threat to all in his care, of creating a permanent Pax Konoha with but a single great sacrifice? Or do you wish to keep your death runes under sole control, defying the Hokage's direct orders when they come, facing off against Leaf in a war where the fate of the world is at stake, all our loved ones are on the other side, and your only weapons are weapons of mass destruction?
"The other side of the boatman's coin is the greater future. In a world of city-killers, humanity's survival is founded exclusively on the fact that you alone possess them, and can trust yourself not to abuse them. Is that enough? In the first place, Hazō, I… I love and trust you more than most people in this world, and yet I do not consider you a moral titan beyond temptation. You have erred in the past, as we all have. You will err many times more. In fact, you are in a much worse position than the Hokage, for so much more rests on your shoulders, and always will. He is the guardian of Leaf. He is coming to understand his responsibility for protecting AMITY, for protecting world peace from those who would devour it, but it is not yet instinctive to him that one's responsibility is truly proportional to one's power.
"You will save the world. Not merely from war, but from ignorance, hunger, illness, the thousand hatreds that tear humanity apart on levels below geopolitics–in short, from itself, and you will not cease your labour until it is done. Responsibility crushes one, Hazō. It warps one. It causes one to make choices an earlier, more innocent self could not imagine. I would not trust myself with ultimate power, and you must not either.
"The original runecrafters, we believe, were the Sage's companions, in other words the founders of the so-called Thinker Clans. Hazō, do you believe, in all sincerity, that between us we could not have preserved the power that forged the Great Seal and must have been capable of a thousand more miracles besides? That power was surrendered, by shinobi of legendary collective intellect, because they understood down to the marrow of their bones the concepts I am now flailing to express. It was erased from this world, and the instant Pain somehow rediscovered it, he nearly triggered an apocalypse. He, like you, was an idealist determined to save the world, and his ritual might well have done so, at a price he deemed acceptable.
"But suppose you are a moral titan. Let us speak of non-proliferation. To begin with, runes are not exclusive to you. Anything you create will be an inspiration to Orochimaru once seen in action. I am uncertain whether he would ever create a city-killer on his own initiative–his heart's desire, as I understand it, is to be left alone to solve the mysteries of the world, yet the second he displays such power, the world will beat a path to his door. On the other hand, knowing that such weapons are in use may well motivate him to ensure he is not left behind. Indeed, they are much more threatening to him than some targeted weapon optimised for use against Akatsuki and their specific powers.
"Regardless, Orochimaru's death is on the long-term agenda. A city-killer will not save him from us once we are finally prepared. Beyond that happy day, do you intend to take runecrafting to your urn? Does Kagome know it? Will he before your death? Will you instruct no others in this art you intend to reshape the world, forsaking any possibility of mass production? Will you leave it to an heir, or allow it to go extinct so that no Gōketsu of future generations may use it?
"Or perhaps you will successfully protect the secret of this particular city-killer's function, maintaining OPSEC until you die along with everyone else who knows. Can you ensure that it will only be used once, against Akatsuki? That in the course of that encounter, no clues will be left behind, including any observation by Akatsuki survivors? The Elemental Mastery weapon's basic concept is counter-intuitive, but it is not complicated once clues suggest a direction of experimentation.
"No city-killers exist in this world. The concept of a shinobi single-handedly annihilating a wide area, beyond the power of other shinobi to counter or evade, is laughable. It is a dream. Even the greatest S-rankers cannot assault a hidden village alone, for they have finite chakra, and a coordinated assault by jōnin willing to sacrifice themselves will eventually end them. Nor can a Zoo Rush be accomplished without an entire village's worth of chakra, and I do not doubt that research on hard counters is already underway across the Elemental Nations. The weaknesses of summoners and summons are common knowledge.
"You would make city-killers possible. We know from Elemental Mastery that it can be done with ninjutsu. Doubtless paper seals hold even more potential. Once the potential is made real, once every shinobi knows that they are there to be found, the world will change. Perhaps it will end.
"I suppose I have said enough. You requested a sanity check in good faith, and thus I have endeavoured not to rant, but this is an issue close to my heart and my self-control is finite. I will even refrain from belabouring my final point regarding the difference in reaction from other villages between learning that Leaf is capable of exterminating S-rankers and learning that Leaf is capable of exterminating them."
"So what you're saying," Hazō said eventually, "is that you don't think I should pursue this direction of research."
"I believe it would be unwise."
"Then I won't," Hazō said simply. "It's not as if I don't have plenty of other ideas."
Kei looked taken aback.
"You mean it? You would exercise common sense in a matter of weapons research on my word alone?"
"It's what I keep you around for, Kei," Hazō said wryly. "That and you're a good Hagoromo-mocking partner. Mari's creative and knows curses from all over the world, but she doesn't have your fire."
A small smile tugged at the corner of Kei's mouth.
"Hazō, I am for the moment rationing my dispensation of hugs so as to preserve my limited emotional endurance while I am unable to recharge from Tenten. That caveat notwithstanding, please consider yourself hugged. Affectionately, even."
