Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It is testament to my need for sleep that I read as far as "Sasuke pulls Hazō aside" and then my mind transformed the rest into the kind of story Kei would absolutely never read.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
Skimming through the post update debate, it became clear to me there is only one way out. And Akane would certainly approve of it.
Hazo must put on a youth suit before he walks out of the compound to address everyone's concerns.
Hazo must put on a youth suit before he walks out of the compound to address everyone's concerns.
Reading that back, it does give me some Rock Lee vibes. And I guess the "bluntly" part could feed into that...
"C-cousin, what are you doing?"
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Testing the limits of my resolve."
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
"Allow me to show you mine."
- Location
- Pacific standard
[X] Sasuke Pulls Hazō Aside, bowling uniform in hand
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- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
[X] yes that
Iris-Iven-Ibis
Interested-Idiot-Immortal
- Location
- You know
[X] what if this plan won
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
- Flashback to an early Shadow Clone struggling with not having access to the Iron Nerve
- Snowflake trying to converse with a Hazō clone as if it was its own person.
- Gokētsu civilians meet civilians from another Clan for some routine business.
- Gokētsu adopted ninja try to make sense of the various decisions of the inner circle (pre Hidan).
- A day in the life of a Gokētsu.
- Anything involving Sasuke.
- Anything involving Choji.
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Kisame and Itachi watch with wholesome intent and snacks as their respective summons (sharks/crows) have a ridiculously petty argument.
Wow, that was an intense 24h chapter/discussion.
Asuma knows what's going on, and so long he believes we work for Leaf he should help us focus on what's important; but it should also be our job as clan lord to deal with this crap. We can't have both clan lord priviledges AND not be a political player. We might have to choose to step down so we can focus on Uplift etc... and this might be a good opportunity for Noburi to step up.
I think just like Hazou-pilot himself, many players feel the same (me included). We are juggling with too many issues. Should we sacrifice a SC training block so we've got a Hazou always running damage control? Should we aim to have a Orochimaru-level reputation for not caring about politics?
Asuma knows what's going on, and so long he believes we work for Leaf he should help us focus on what's important; but it should also be our job as clan lord to deal with this crap. We can't have both clan lord priviledges AND not be a political player. We might have to choose to step down so we can focus on Uplift etc... and this might be a good opportunity for Noburi to step up.
This is very tempting. I want to hear/read/see more of Hana, too. We need more cricket-moma moments! If we do, we might want to speak to Ami first, since she's the real leader of Mist.
Hana and Hazou? Called it!
All of the above.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Unfortunately in our situation this would send some very bad signals. Clan Heads resigning is very much not an ordinary thing, and generally gets people to ask what drastic events could have forced such an extreme action from the clan. Even if we gave a pitch-perfect defense of our character and denounced Jashinism with all of our might, if we then stepped down while the rumours were still circulating there would be a very obvious answer promoted to everyone's attention.
Personally, I want to hold out until we can step down in favour of Jiraiya. Not only does this leave the clan with Jiraiya in charge to safely steer it and not only does it free us up for whatever adventures we want, nobody would be surprised at all that we consider Lord Fifth, the founder of our clan, to be a more suitable Clan Head than ourselves.
- Location
- America
[X] Training Plan: Noburi Mednin
Needing to spend a bunch of updates fixing the latest developing disaster is starting to feel real familiar. They even tend to fall into the same categories each time. There's:
Marked for Politics, Marked for Economics, Angry Asuma, Cross Cannai, Mari Meltdown, Ami Advent, Orochimaru Ordeal, OPSEC oopsie, and Keiko Breako.
Is that all the major ones or did I miss some? Also I couldn't think of a good alliteration for Kei
Needing to spend a bunch of updates fixing the latest developing disaster is starting to feel real familiar. They even tend to fall into the same categories each time. There's:
Marked for Politics, Marked for Economics, Angry Asuma, Cross Cannai, Mari Meltdown, Ami Advent, Orochimaru Ordeal, OPSEC oopsie, and Keiko Breako.
Is that all the major ones or did I miss some? Also I couldn't think of a good alliteration for Kei
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These should be the quest tags lmao
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Mari looked up from the plan, breathing slowly. Hazō did not know what, exactly, seemed wrong, but his brain sent him desperate alarm signals. She set the sheet of parchment down, not breaking eye contact, and took another breath, just as deep, just as slowly. An awkward silence hovered over the room. This is not how Hazō expected this to go. No scream, no laugh, no exasperated sigh.
"So," he started, "what did you-
She instantly cut him.
"Are you feeling alright?"
He'd never heard her voice be that flat. And it finally clicked. Growing up with and around the Iron Nerve, movement regularity was second nature for him, be it his own or his mother's. But for Mari? Not so much. She had the quirks and shifts of everyday people, the suboptimal pathways of a regular nervous system. But while not having the cat-like grace of an Iron Nerve wielder, she was, in fact, extremely regular in her breathing and every movement. She was focusing on him intently and manually controlling every single muscle of her body - as if she expected him to attack her. It wasn't nearly bad enough an idea to warrant this, was it? Just enough to be a joke while still viable?
"Yes? I mean, I don't think anything's wrong with me, but I'm still bad at jokes, looks like."
"You suggested making yourself an enemy of the Nara, at the same time as implying you want to date them, fanning drama inside your sister's relationships, and making yourself the centre of a maelstrom of love affairs, interpersonal attraction, and hate, all in the service of a dark god which you know supports indiscriminate mass murder."
"Mari, I swear it was just a joke! I wanted to check your reaction and then I would-
"Oh no, Mari, I would never," she cut him again. "Unless you thought I could make it work?" Her impression of his dumbed-down voice was all the more unflattering that it actually did sound a bit like him, if not for the edge still present in her tone. "Look, Hazō. You're not the first, and you're not the last, to try the 'it was just a joke, unless?' approach. What you won't be the first at, is making it believable. It's older than the Sage and no one ever made it work. I am more concerned, actually, with where you got that idea from. This isn't your normal order of plans sometimes being dumb. You're suggesting throwing as much disarray into everyone's lives as anyone could without involving death, and then involving yourself in all of their circles while information you know to be extremely dangerous is bouncing around in your brain. So I will ask once: Hazō, did you have any seal fail near you lately?"
This was a bit much. Was that what she was worried about? Over a joke? Sure, he'd never pass up an opportunity if his trickster of a Clan matriarch decided it would be funny and profitable, but there was a world between that and, willingness to propagate information about extradimensional entities, even though he was not the only one to do that and anyway that only ever brought him good luck and how much better could it make the world and frankly that would accelerate Uplift so much and Jashin only wanted the same things he did and was going to help him. So there. He'd show her.
"Ha! Not even! It really was a joke!" Why did Mari's eyes seem so sad, he wondered? "And I didn't even fail anything, in fact, I recently discovered a brand new way of sealing that no one else ever did except the Sage, and it's so much better and so much more powerful and it will make everything right forever!"
"I... see," Mari finally said. "Hazō, I'm sorry, but this is for your own good."
Before he could even be puzzled over the obvious non-sequitur, she hit him near the back of his skull, hard. His balance, and legs, went out from under him. His entire body felt sluggish, and vaguely in pain. And tired. So tired...
He woke up, placed on a table, his limbs strapped down with something he could not see. Not that he could move his head, as it was strapped as well. He barely made out her voice from the next room over.
"...ot himself contaminated, looks like. Experimental, esoteric or exotic sealing things, from what he said. Wild look in his eyes, tried to contaminate everyone with kami-know-what."
"Hmph. Like the kami would even know. Stuck up stinkers, don't know half as much as they think they do, do they?"
"Staying on point?"
"Yes. A shame, that. Was my best student, and got better than me." Kagome clearly made the best effort he could at keeping his cool, and made an admirable show of it, but he sounded hoarse from screaming, and kept pausing as his voice cracked. "But I'm still SSO. I know more about what's out there, obviously. Stupid. I should have told him about all before he got bit. There's not much good that could get in like that, Mari. Checked his ears, throat, nose, anus, body scan for any wounds, nothing. Whatever kind of stinker's gotten in there got in slick and discrete. That's the more dangerous ones, when they know what you think and how you think and how to hide everything from you until the only thing that can stop it taking over is a mass sacrifice to another one or if they lose interest because the next dimension looks tastier. Happened twice, both times Dummy and the Sage had to start a world war to cover it up. The first of them ended abruptly when another seal failed and the first infected guy just jumped through the rift. The other when a girl was offered to another god, and the two killed each other in a battle that sunk the land bridge between O'uzu and Tea. Stupid cover-up, like the Lightning clans ever really had beef with the desert guys. Idiots. Ther-" the older sealmaster's voice cracked. "There's... there's nothing we can do, is what I'm saying. I'm sorry."
Vote time! You can barely make out an axe covered in seals that give you a bad headache, against the wall. Kagome is about to kill you to save the world. What do you do?
Your plan can look like this:
[><] Action Plan: Ragequit
[><] Action Plan: Declare: you really are infected. Show them the wrath of Gl'bgolyb!
[><] Reroll: How about a Pangolin foot soldier for our new character?
[><] Action Plan: Accept your Fate (spend all your fate points and hope that somehow makes you convincing)
Write-ins are allowed.
XP for a good plan: negative seven.
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
[><] Overwrite Hazō-pilot. Admit that you are partially possessed by an Out entity, but that you have been ever since the Swamp of Death. Give examples of things over the course of the Quest that have clearly been hivemind influenced and don't make much sense otherwise.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
[><] Overwrite Hazō-pilot. Admit that you are partially possessed by an Out entity, but that you have been ever since the Swamp of Death. Give examples of things over the course of the Quest that have clearly been hivemind influenced and don't make much sense otherwise.
(This is a bid to peer-pressure @Lysbeth Succubus into continuing this. Join up, guys!)
(This is a bid to peer-pressure @Lysbeth Succubus into continuing this. Join up, guys!)