Eisenhelm
gran dutch of douchery
- Location
- Colombia
ninja are made of sturdier stuff. they don't get many of the same diseases civilians get, i suspect that is why Jiraiya wasn't a living container of every STD known to the elemental nations.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rational rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Yes.
Alternatively, he had the help of the most powerful medic-nin of the age.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
JIRAIYA: Uh, Tsunade, could you...y'know-
TSUNADE: I am never touching that thing again
MrRobot
In doubt there's always the Sun!
Maybe but since mari or anko also dont have every STD ever made i think is not realy necessary a particulary good med nin.
Or the EN has less than 1 million people total and doesn't have any STDs
Most plagues are from domesticated animals and the EN has chakra beasts instead, soooo
Most plagues are from domesticated animals and the EN has chakra beasts instead, soooo
@faflec are you sure?
We've also IIRC never heard of any domesticated animal except dogs. No horses, no goats, no sheep, no cattle, nothing.
Ehhh the "cows" are clearly tamed, not domesticated. The horses, I totally forgot about, bizarre they're never mentioned before or since.
- Location
- Yes.
Blah male cows blah
Yeah, I might not fully understand the mechanics.
You're referring to this?
- If their MedKnow level is at least 15 and the medic has access to appropriate tools (including subjects), the medic can roll to research questions of medical interest. Roll each day of research against a success TN (a static number representing a hypothetical opposed die roll), adding resulting shifts to a research counter as with Sealing. Note that unlike sealing, it is sometimes possible for significant failures to reduce medical research counters, representing faulty data leading the medic confidently astray and making it harder to discover the truth of their query. Examples of medical research include:
We all know PCJ hardens the skin and the resistance to the stiffness provides the training bonus. I'm speculating that passively hardening the skin hard enough to tank damage, also strengthens the other organs too, even without any focused training.
Not worth getting a XP bonus, but yes, I do think there's reason to suspect the jutsu would have therapeutic/healing properties.
It really didn't sound like there was anything more being done or things to do.
Yes, does this random jutsu promote healing at high levels is not a question of medical interest. It's random speculation, there's no possible way to test it except leveling the jutsu and finding out.
There's no reason to think a jutsu that hardens the skin hardens your liver too. Even if it did, hardening other organs would make healing more time, not less. That's if hardening your lungs isn't outright fatal.
Hazou currently has no extra shifts applied from medical ninjutsu. It's unclear if that was an oversight from the QMs, an intentional choice because keeping track of them is hard, or because his injuries are so bad that medical ninjutsu could not help him heal faster.
I didn't say it hardened organs. I said the resistance would strengthen them. Permanent boosts to physique is more than just simply skin hardening; it's stamina and strength as well (or used to be). If it was just that, it would be a discrete version of GS.
With a permanent buff, the underlying muscles, and bones have to be benefiting from the resistance training as well. And from there the lungs, heart, and other systems in the body.
I'm not pulling There is a basis for people with serious health problems benefiting from resistance training. The difference here is that PCJ is a whole-body resistance training, possibly superior to anything on earth.
]The effects of resistance exercise on skeletal muscle abnormalities in patients with advanced heart failure
Resistance exercise training in patients with heart failure
Effects of upper body resistance training on pulmonary functions in sedentary male smokers
Chapter 467: The Battle for the Hokage's Legacy
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Blood in the water. Madara's all-seeing balls. Hundred Fins. Norihige's grave below us. Sage's ballsack."
By the time Hazō reached the top of the Hokage Monument, he'd burned through his entire cursing vocabulary and had started looping back through his personal favourites. He made a note to himself to never again schedule a meeting at the highest point in Leaf while movement-impaired, and also to expand his curse collection. Maybe Noburi would lend him that Seventh Path book of his.
"Hazō! You're seriously late!" Ami called out from the top of Jiraiya's head. "I've started trying to think of a penalty game, and you really want to be over here before I can finish!"
Under no circumstances was Hazō prepared to play any game on Ami's terms. From the horrors Dungeon Keeper Ami regularly unleashed at Gōketsu gaming nights to the way he'd nearly ended up dating her last time, Hazō was confident his immediate future was going to be both traumatic and humiliating unless he acted fast.
Please let old permissions still be in effect…
"Substitution Technique!"
Fortunately, Kei was either broadly trusting or specifically merciful where he was concerned. In a flash, Hazō found himself next to Ami as Kei appeared in his place the other end of the monument, almost certainly rolling her eyes at his inability to survive without her.
Less fortunately, Hazō had had to drop his crutches in order to do hand seals, and the sudden loss of stability while standing next to the avatar of chaos had a completely predictable effect.
"Why, Hazō," Ami purred underneath him as his brain processed a series of sudden and terrifying soft sensations, "I had no idea you'd grown so bold. In public and in front of Kei."
Hazō pushed himself off her with the urgency of a man finding himself embracing a bundle of armed exploding tags.
"Sorry, Ami, I didn't mean to—"
Hazō frowned.
"Wait a second. You're a jōnin. You could totally have dodged that."
"And let you fall on your face, with you being mortally injured and everything? What kind of woman do you think I am?"
Hazō's attempt to come up with an answer to that eternally dangerous question was interrupted by the descent of an ominous shadow that blotted out the midday sun.
"Your crutches, Hazō," spoke a voice that could freeze fire. Kei raised the crutches in a movement that wavered between assistance and imminent impalement.
Before Kei could make up her mind, Ami helped him up.
"That was hilarious," she said, "so can you give him a free pass just this once, Kei?"
Kei sighed. "Just this once. Hazō, while I appreciate that the instinct to throw oneself at my sister is natural to every gynophile, be aware that future acts of attempted sacrilege will not be met with the same leniency. Now, I believe you have brought tribute with which to appease my no longer homicidal but nevertheless ongoing wrath?"
"You mean the peppermint tea and pastries?"
At Kei's nod, Hazō busied himself with the storage scrolls.
"So I take it," Ami asked casually, "that choosing this as our meeting spot means you're publicly endorsing the Selectivist Faction?"
Hazō froze. "The what now?"
"Naruto originally intended to call it the 'Screw Hyūga Hiashi Faction'," Kei said, reaching for the first of the pastries, "but the rest of us felt that it lacked a certain subtlety."
"Oh," Hazō said. "In that case, count me in 100%. So what does our faction do?"
"There," Ami said with a note of satisfaction. "That's how it's done. None of this 'Are you sure this is a good idea, Ami?' or 'Should we really be fracturing Leaf's political landscape further at this time, Ami?' or 'What about the implications for our Clan Council position, Ami?' Just a decisive commitment to screwing over Hyūga Hiashi and everything he stands for, as the Sage intended.
"In response to your question, Hazō, look down. How many faces do you see?"
There were, of course, five faces. Hazō had been present at the unveiling ceremony for the most recent carving, after the Clan Council had almost unanimously ruled to retroactively confirm Jiraiya as full rather than interim Hokage, and posthumously granted him the honours earned by that position.
"The Sixth's carving was never completed, of course," Ami said evenly. "After the interruption of the Collapse, for a certain period of time Leaf had more urgent construction priorities. Subsequently, its creation was plagued by endless delays in procurement of scaffolding, payments to stonecarvers, and other individually minor yet collectively crippling issues that happened to coincide with the influx of KEI shinobi into the Tower bureaucracy following the demise of the clan shinobi who had originally held most positions of influence.
"The Selectivist Faction, spearheaded by Uzumaki Naruto with the support of the KEI, proposes that we should accept the sign given us by fate and omit the Sixth, whose ill-fated reign should not be set alongside that of his illustrious fellows, instead proceeding immediately with the carving of the magnificent Seventh. Conversely, the Inclusivist Faction argues that all Hokage are entitled to equal representation by simple virtue of their title."
"That's rather radical," Hazō said as he poured the third cup of tea. "So if Naruto's leading the Selectivists, who's leading the Inclusivists?"
Ami's grin stretched as wide as he'd ever seen it. "Glad you asked! After all, how could any campaign be properly youthful without a worthy rival to lead the opposition?"
Hazō gave her a disturbed look. "There's one word in there I'm really hoping I misheard."
Ami nodded. "Before we could gain enough traction for an opposing force to develop naturally, I invited Rock Lee to represent the opposition. He wasted no time in reminding the population of Leaf that Hyūga Hiashi's greatest achievement as Hokage was founding the Church of Youth. You might have seen his weekly proclamations in the broadsheet."
"Is that what those were?" Hazō asked. "I thought that was just Rock Lee being Rock Lee."
"That too," Ami said. "But what matters is that by the time Hyūga and their allies realised we were serious, the well was dripping with very youthful poison. I'd be surprised if the Selectivists actually managed to keep the Sixth off the monument, because that would mean the Hokage signing off on a massive insult to the Hyūga, but what we've got going is a public debate over the relative weight of a Hokage's title versus their accomplishments, and boy is having Lee as their most vocal proponent a headache for the conservatives. Meanwhile, the Seventh's on track to score major points by winning the war—you need to get on that, by the way; Leaf cannot afford to still be fighting Rock when the countdown hits zero—and between that and his limited personal power, he'll be the first Hokage to be recognised as a leader first and a warrior second. The Selectivist/Inclusivist conflict will make use of that as Step One towards redefining what it means to be a Kage."
"Why would you do that?" Hazō asked.
"Transforming Leaf society or pouring powdered willowbark into my peppermint tea?"
"Both," Hazō said. "That seems like it's going to be an abysmal combination."
Ami looked down into her cup. "I get… headaches.
"And anyway"—she smiled—"what's life without a little dangerous and unwise experimentation? Which answers both your questions. At the end of this long road lies the idea of a Hokage accountable to their ninja, and can you imagine what wacky adventures we're going to have along the way? And in the meantime, it might just save Hinata."
Hazō blinked at the sudden swerve. "I wasn't aware that she needed saving from anything. Also, isn't she one of the KEI's main enemies?"
"Exactly," Ami said. "She's a sweet girl, incredibly talented, and also on track to become a world-class beauty if she survives the next few years. Such a shame she didn't go down the I&S track. But she's also the leader of the conservative faction, and as the Sixth's heir, she's got no choice but to follow the path he laid out. Any efforts to get her on-side are doomed for as long as she's devoted to the spirit of her dear departed dad and the elders are standing by to eat her alive if she goes too far off-script. And while I'd love for her to grow up to become a badass rival, I'd also love for her to become my Hanabi. The Mori are really into symmetry, FYI.
"But that's a side project still at the 'poking at random stuff and seeing what happens' stage. Mostly my accomplishment so far is reminding the public of the Sixth Hokage-Church of Youth connection, and also the ongoing Hyūga Neji-Church of Youth connection, as enforced by his summoner agreement. He's the Hyūga elders' backup—if Hinata stops satisfying them as clan head, Hanabi's too young, while Neji has the blood, his prestige as summoner outweighs a lot of possible issues, and he's dedicated to the Sixth's beliefs while lacking Hinata's capacity for independent thought. The worse the public's opinion of the Sixth, and the more they associate Neji with the Sixth's greatest folly, the stronger Hinata's position versus the elders."
She took a sip of her tea and shuddered. "Yep, this'll take my mind off any lesser suffering, sure enough."
"Duly noted," Hazō said. "On a hopefully non-village-wrecking note, I was wondering if you could do me a—no, wait, phrasing—if you could do Leaf a favour in your capacity as the Mist ambassador."
"I'm not the ambassador anymore, Hazō," Ami said with an edge to her voice. "That would be my beloved Kurosawa handler. I'm just the Hokage's official Mist consultant and solver of slightly more problems than I cause. Is there something you want me to pass on?"
"Ah. Sorry, Ami," Hazō said. "I was just wondering: work on the Great Seal's been going at a crawl, and assuming Asuma gives us the go-ahead, do you think you could get a Mist sealmaster or two over here to assist? Surely there'll be a Kurosawa or a Mori who's interested. Alternatively, when I'm healed, I could visit Mist and make them another of my life-size models."
Ami laughed. "Part of me really wants to see Lady Kurosawa's face when you propose building what's basically a super-sized sealing array in the middle of her village. But part of me also knows it'll just be an Iron Nerve mask, so I suggest you let that idea go right now. At best, maybe you can build it on some uninhabited island within easy travel of Mist, like Nagi.
"I'll pass on the sealmaster request, but don't hold your breath. Unless Mist formally joins the war on Leaf's side, Lady Kurosawa isn't going to be in any hurry to send precious sealmasters to a village where they risk getting caught up in military action or, worse, conscripted in an emergency—especially if she doesn't believe the Dragon story, in which case this can only be an excuse to steal Mist sealing secrets."
Hazō nodded. "Why make reasonable sacrifices to avert the probable doom of the world when pretending there isn't a problem is much more convenient for pursuing your existing goals? Even in Leaf, Orochimaru doesn't seem to have lifted a finger to help. Him being immortal won't get him far if the Dragons decide his basement makes a tasty snack. Or do you suppose he's doing something useful and just not sharing?"
Ami shrugged. "I think that if he took the Dragon threat seriously, he'd probably take over the research and commandeer you, the other sealmasters, and whatever resources he wanted. I don't have him pegged as someone who holds back when something piques his interest. That said, he's a biosealer, right? Is there any chance this is just outside his area of expertise?"
"I asked Kagome-sensei that," Hazō said. "After he was done ranting about what happens to biosealers who slip up and make one tiny mistake, and what happens to biosealers who succeed—which is usually even worse—and how I shouldn't even think about biosealing and instead focus on safer avenues of study like explosives research, he said nobody dives straight into biosealing and survives. All successful biosealers have a solid grounding in basic sealcrafting. Given that dimensional sealing, which is what we want, is a discipline I reinvented myself, there isn't going to be any sealmaster in Leaf, or maybe the world, whose specialised skills let them beat Orochimaru's general ones. I'm constantly torn between going to him to have a serious conversation and not going to him to avoid being dissected once he realises how much unique Sage lore is locked up in my brain."
"Yeah," Ami said. "There are people being tortured to death—or worse—right now as a result of what I had to do to persuade Orochimaru to give up his plans for me. Not that there wouldn't have been people getting tortured to death anyway, Orochimaru being Orochimaru, and this way there are a lot of other people who aren't starving to death, but still. He's not someone you want to hang out with any more than necessary.
"Then again, having everything you've ever loved destroyed by eldritch abominations isn't great either. Have you considered approaching him indirectly, like via Dr Yakushi or the Snakes?"
"Plans are in progress," Kei said regretfully. "Once the war is over and we no longer need to appease the Pangolins as a contribution to Leaf's immediate survival, I would appreciate assistance from both of you with the Condor liberation efforts. Current negotiations are at an impasse, as we possess nothing the Pangolins want more than to retain the slaves whose unique value we continue to prove further with every plan."
Hazō nodded. "Win the war. Free the slaves. Save the world. Probably in that order. Do you remember the days when our biggest challenge was beating up chakra alligators?"
-o-
You have received 2 + 1 + 1 = 4 XP.
The update has taken half a day. Fun-to-write XP included.
-o-
Jūchi Yosamu will soon be ready to visit the Nara compound and begin acclimatising itself to non-murderous coexistence with human beings. The Inuzuka are busy crafting a suitable leash, but their senior ninja are too tied up in tracking work to gather the requisite chakra bear sinews.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting closes on Saturday 18th of September, 1 p.m. New York time.
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- Pronouns
- They/Them
Ah good Hazo has been cured of his insanity.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Too simulationist five me
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
No.
You are not mistaken. The intent was that medical ninjutsu can do approximately what real-world present-day healing can do. This is our best estimate of what that means.
Check "The View from Below".
We are assuming he's getting treatment, so we simply rolled that in when we set the original "how long until he's healed" deadline.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I have a small supply of spoons this morning and I know that we have a lot of XP awards and questions that are hanging fire. I'd rather spend the spoons on answers than collecting, so could I ask someone to compile them for us? Sorry for not remembering to collect things as they happened.
surprised kei is angry
hmm
lol
dragon counter?
hmm
huh? doesn't church of youth or goketsu prevent that?
- Pronouns
- He/Him
And Hazou's Calligraphy still needs to be bumped to 19
(Technically I guess you answered this one: it was factored in already)
Think that's it, actually. Mostly just adjusting spreadsheets. Since IV and Paper have mostly been the ones tracking this stuff already, might I suggest they be given "suggestion mode" on the sheets instead of view only like the rest of us? Might make things easier to keep track of.
- Location
- USA
As far as I know, the only previously outstanding XP award was this one, though I haven't looked in detail:
EDIT: As @Shrooms said, there's another outstanding reward from last chapter that I missed. There's my lack of detail.
But we have new ones from this update's SC training:
Kei: +2.4 XP
Akane: +2 XP
There are two training plans that need to be implemented, one for Hazou and one for Kei.
@Sir Stompy has proposed mechanics for Hiding in the Mist.
While I'm compiling these, my personal dog in the race is to get the Dragon problem more broadly acknowledged, so I wanted to check if this happened. The plan called to ask the Condor Summoner and Scout to watch the Dragons from afar while we replaced the HOWS (potentially giving us information on how the Dragon auras affect other humans!)
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- Location
- Italy
I would also add, if it's not a problem, regarding the current update, if:
These two thing happened.