Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ooooh... *starts scribbling notes*
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
There was no mention of this in anything that Hazō read. Presumably the issue had never come up. His best guess is that using the space under a civilian property would be no problem, but using space under a ninja would cause problems because it would be assumed that you were spying.
Are you going to try to improve this action plan?
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
[Χ]Action Plan: I See Dead People
Debrief the rest of the clan + Naruto at his place on the scroll thing as per Keiko's instructions.
Early the next morning:
Debrief the rest of the clan + Naruto at his place on the scroll thing as per Keiko's instructions.
Early the next morning:
- Ask Mother Nana (or Noburi) for some of her finest (and hopefully safest) hallucinogens.
- Go meditate in the training ground where you had that weird sealing failure before-- the one with the whale. Try to get the exact spot correct.
- Naruto, Noburi, and Mari are on overwatch. Genjutsu and restrain us if things become problematic.
- Attempt to contact the other Paths for spiritual guidance. Remember: reality is probably still very thin around you.
- Prep:
- Attempt to widen the dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
- Arrange an array of party trick seals around you in the most eldritch fashion possible.
- Play the spooky flute music in between renditions of a new piece entitled "Zabuza cannot find a needle in a sewing kit, especially now that he's dead!"
- Pay some Genin to stand around and do the Dance of Please Let The Walls of Reality Crumble (invert the motions of the Dance of Pray Reality Does Not Break Down ).
- Drench the ground with leftover (from the Basement) chicken blood so that it smells like death.
- Focus overwhelmingly on the feeling of hunting demons that was Z's killing intent, maybe send some psychic messages back "Here I am, come on and get me!"
- When it works:
- "Haha! Who is the idiot now ghosts!?"
- Prep:
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- Location
- Yes.
Later, I think. I'm AFK and don't really want to make edits on my phone.
Feel free to take my plan, though, I don't mind.
- Location
- Why would this be required?
I like the plan in general but if you have the space we could retroactively ask Keiko about sending that message to the dog clan. No point in not starting that now.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Cool.
Lets tunnel beneath the tavern and surrounding properties to make a very large system of "beer cellars" that could feasibly hold a couple hundred folk. I'm sure we could Mari everyone in the surrounding properties to sign some ludicrously cheap leasing contract on the grounds of "Mari argues you into doing this thing in exchange for 1000 ryo a month you never would have seen otherwise."
This way if the Shimura thing takes a while to favorably shake out, we have a backup plan for those few hundred folks besides "pray we'll be able to solve it in the future" and thus we can stop worrying about it for the time being.
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Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Ugh, screw LBFs, here's a simplified design:
[X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
- Priority#1: Acquire housing.
- Accompany Mari when she negotiates with the Tower for money.
- Suggest printing broadsheets about Orochimaru's play to gain additional leverage.
- Possibilities:
- (first choice) The Shimura estate.
- Acquire land surrounding our inn.
- Have KEI ninja scout other potential locations. Avoid those near the Hyuuga.
- Accompany Mari when she negotiates with the Tower for money.
- Underground expansions:
- Lease/buy underground space underneath properties adjacent to the tavern; put Mari on the case.
- Using Earth jutsu (KEI member or Pangolins), build tunnels and rooms there, connected to our tavern. Employ civilians for subsequent constructions.
- If we purchase an new estate
- Patch it up. Prioritize apartments for KEI ninja.
- Build a new underground network.
- Ensure it looks as unassailable and intimidating as possible, so Rock ninja avoid it.
- Talk to Kabuto about Noburi.
- Conduct daily creative training.
- Debrief the rest of the clan + Naruto at his place on the scroll thing as per Keiko's suggestion. Hazo got a crazy idea:
- Ask Mother Nana (or Noburi) for some of her finest (and safest) hallucinogens.
- Meditate in the training ground where you had the whale sealing failure. Try to sit at the exact spot.
- Overwatch: Naruto, Noburi, and Mari. Employ genjutsu and restraints if it becomes necessary.
- Attempt to contact other Paths for spiritual guidance. Reality's probably still very thin around you.
- Preparations:
- Attempt to widen dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
- Give offerings and pray to the ancestors.
- Focus on trying to contact someone(Jiraiya, Hazo's dad, a Buddha, or Sage)
- Attempt to widen dimensional apertures via continuous sealing/unsealing of a few dozen storage scrolls .
- Preparations:
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Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
ZABUZA: Heeeeeeeeeey, it's me: Zabuza!
HAZOU: Oh sage no. How are you alive?!
ZABUZA: The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Or more likely falsified considering who your source was. Now get out of my house.
HAZOU: What. You are a Mist ninja! Just like u-- just like other ninja that are from Mist.
ZABUZA: That might be so but this is my summer house and you are squatting here illegally.
HAZOU: This is getting ridiculous. Does no one stay dead anymore?
ZABUZA: Hurry up or Zabby will get Stabby.
- Location
- Yes.
VIHH: go buy jiraiya's pad he'll be back within a week huehuehue
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Well, we're currently staying at Naruto's, which was apparently previously owned by Kushina and Minato.
Might have to fight the Shinigami on those ones though.
#JailbreakMinato2020
[X] Action Plan: Real Estate Play
I precommit to vote for plans which include reasonable implementations of the expansive tavern cellar idea, consider this to be in the same vein as "I will precommit to vote for anything involving baking OPSEC cookies."
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- Location
- Omniverse #1345
I think we'd accept getting kicked out for having Naruto's parents around. His dad would probably go "boo" and Rock would run away screaming.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
[x] Action Plan: On Putting the Universe Down
- Location
- Europe
That shouldn't stop the Byakugan (or Sharigan) from seeing the chakra , so that's likely pointless. Also Hazou can't infuse Implosion seals or can he? Kagome isn't going to infuse a seal he can't see.
Also being a walking sealing failure bomb isn't going to make us look good politically/socially. We are basically threatening everyone around us, that we would rather drag them down with us, while a nice threat, probably a good reason for everyone else to turn on us.
And we need the good image, we aren't S-rank yet. Can we not just talk to Neji like in your last plan?
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Hmm. Low voter count. I'll shot-gun some ideas to see if any stick
[x] Pangolin Jutsu
Negotiate with Pangolins to teach Naruto and Orochimaru jutsu. Ask Orochimaru for goodies to use for negotiation. Give Orochimaru Jiraiya's letter. Inquire about their current affairs (the genocide, expansion plans, death counts, etc.)
[x] Ami talk
Bring Keiko and ask Ami if she needs help. Perhaps a message to KEI?
[x] Human Resources
Ask Mari how long she can hold up. If she'll break soon relieve her command to protect the clan and tell her to rest.
[x] Civilian Welfare
Mass donate money to civilians. Use any existing mail systems, merchants, Yakuza, hire missions/KEI, use the spy network, etc.
[x] Peace Talks
Bring our peace ideas to Nara via Keiko. See what he thinks.
[x] Basement Loot
See what we can do with the basement loot before we return it
[x] Pangolin Jutsu
Negotiate with Pangolins to teach Naruto and Orochimaru jutsu. Ask Orochimaru for goodies to use for negotiation. Give Orochimaru Jiraiya's letter. Inquire about their current affairs (the genocide, expansion plans, death counts, etc.)
[x] Ami talk
Bring Keiko and ask Ami if she needs help. Perhaps a message to KEI?
[x] Human Resources
Ask Mari how long she can hold up. If she'll break soon relieve her command to protect the clan and tell her to rest.
[x] Civilian Welfare
Mass donate money to civilians. Use any existing mail systems, merchants, Yakuza, hire missions/KEI, use the spy network, etc.
[x] Peace Talks
Bring our peace ideas to Nara via Keiko. See what he thinks.
[x] Basement Loot
See what we can do with the basement loot before we return it
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Are you trying to die?
- Location
- Liverpool
One more factor to consider about the Shimura estate: Hiashi is already using the narrative that we're filthy outsides who are barely allowed in leaf and aren't true leaf Ninja, blah blah blah. Us moving to a compound outside the walls, with some clanless ninja, isn't going to help either the idea that were aren't separate from everyone, or that we might bolt or something.
I mean, I think it's still the best option, and honestly those ideas aren't inaccurate, but optically moving outside the walls can't help our "we want to be the new centre of the village" vibe.
- Location
- Europe
It's basically a huge plot of land. Shimura estate? Goketsu estate? You mean the Goketsu district, time to build a city.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Counterpoint:
Hidden Rock will take one look at our Doom Fortress and go "Okay, fuck that, thats definitely not a priority target." and go waste troops somewhere else.
Like the Hyuuga compound.
we judged the benefits of basement loot worth risking our lives at the time. The risk has merely changed from the basement killing us to oro killing us.