[x] Action Plan: We Totally Are the Good Guys, Don't You See?
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Neato, time for zany seal effects.
- Plants chakra cabbages densely in the surrounding area.
- Causes other people to occasionally see the sealmaster as a giant slavering monster for the blink of an eye.
- Warps space in the immediate vicinity (i.e. if infused in a room the room now appears much larger and takes longer to cross without taking up any more space outside)
- Explodes... tomorrow. In the spot it was infused, regardless of whether or not the seal's been moved away.
- Sends everything nearby hurtling upwards at high velocity.
- Randomizes the sealmaster's chakra nature.
- Plays beautiful music that doesn't match any known instrument.
- Creates a dog. An ordinary dog. (This one is the most evil because the dog will have to be put down due to sealmaster paranoia)
- Leaves a glass ball that, when gazed at from the right angles, shows the view of a random mirror.
- Starts narrating in a dry voice every event of one day of the life of a man who lived 150 years ago.
- Turns one nearby blade into chakrasteel and one nearby chakrasteel blade into normal metal.
- Everyone in the village suddenly remembers a magnificent tower somewhere thereabouts, and has no idea what happened to it.
- Katamari.
- A diary that you can't write in (or record any information in with any instrument).
- It is now the sealmaster's birthday.
- Fractally subdivides a nearby object until it becomes grains of sand that then disappear.
- Moves the building it's in across town.
- Summons a chakra megalodon.
- Uninfuses itself.
- Teleports the sealmaster to a random spot on the continent.
- The sealmaster's skin starts to slowly change over the course of days, cycling through different colours.
- The sealmaster's fingernails become unbreakable but don't stop growing.
- Origami folds itself up into the form of a human, and then starts speaking an unintelligible tongue.
- Adds one shuriken to the sealmaster's shuriken pouch and subtracts one kunai.
- Sealmaster's heart stops beating and their blood moves on its own.
- Somewhere, a chakra beast migration starts.
- Hunks of gold that vanish when touched start falling from the sky like hail.
- A line of fire shoots off along the ground in the direction of the nearest block of ice. On contact both explode.
- The seal starts pulling the ground up to form a mountain. If not stopped the mountain will reach 5km in height.
- Randomizes location of nearby plants.
- Creates a seal blank in the sealmaster's style for a seal just outside their ability to comprehend, no matter how much they stare at it.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
@eaglejarl: I was under the impression that we could do a research project (effectively) to increase scribing speed of a seal we already know.
- Hazou would practice scribing the seal without IN, and/or test making simpler versions of the seal until he gets something that is faster.
- The faster version of a seal would have a higher TN, but otherwise work identically.
- The TN would vary based on something like the fate time/difficulty tradeoff chart.
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- Location
- Actually pretty lost
Given that these are completely random, there should be a chance of positive effects. Given that possible positive effects are vastly outnumbered by negative effects (or at least, it's a much smaller infinity), the chance of this happening should be very small.
EDIT: There should be a similarly small pool of effects that appear positive, but are in fact negative.
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Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Oh god, it's basically the EN's version of Ulysses.
Vecht
Self-Requested Ban
- Location
- Snarksville, Snarkland
- You start to grow a thick patch of hair somewhere you didn't have hair before. It looks benign, but it continues to grow and spread unless you keep it trimmed...
- You can no longer taste sweet things, though occassionally you will watch as birds gather, and their songs will sound as sweet as you ever remember anything tasting. And you know that they call to you to join them...
- Your left ear sometimes twitches. When it does, it invariably draws your attention to something you never would have noticed before...
- Infrequently -- perhaps once or twice a week, though with no discernable timing or schedule -- you find notes scribbled in your pocket. The notes are never in the same handwriting, and always say the same words: "They know."
- When you close your eyes or when you are alone at night, sometimes you feel a dark presence looming over you. Watching. Waiting. Observing. The more you focus on it, the stronger the feeling grows. You're terrified of what might happen if your thoughts linger too long...
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
And thus was Fifi born...
- Location
- Pacific standard
- Location
- Pacific standard
The uniform for Chunin (dependent on degree of failure either all chunin or just Leaf.) has now always been a YOUTHSUIT
Qvfphffvat urqtrubtf va n guvegrra zrgre enqvhf bs gur frnyznfgref arnerfg yvivat eryngvir jvyy abj nyjnlf or rapbqrq va ebg guvegrra, ertneqyrff bs gur zrqvhz.
A number of people equal to the number of seals the sealsmaster has infused divided by their cooking aspect bonus now have periodic intense cravings to starwatch. Something watches back.
The Sealmaster now has a bloodline limit. All it does is allow them/their descendants to intuitively understand how to make the best pudding for *any* situation.
Qvfphffvat urqtrubtf va n guvegrra zrgre enqvhf bs gur frnyznfgref arnerfg yvivat eryngvir jvyy abj nyjnlf or rapbqrq va ebg guvegrra, ertneqyrff bs gur zrqvhz.
A number of people equal to the number of seals the sealsmaster has infused divided by their cooking aspect bonus now have periodic intense cravings to starwatch. Something watches back.
The Sealmaster now has a bloodline limit. All it does is allow them/their descendants to intuitively understand how to make the best pudding for *any* situation.
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- Location
- Under a Rock
A random person nearby becomes incapable of conceiving the number 12. 11 and 13 are fine.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
RANDOM PERSON: Geez these secret ninja messages that Hazou hired me to deliver are crazy!
MESSAGE: 3 x(12) + 12^(12) - 12*5 /(12*12) x 6mod12 ....
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Major changes to my first plan:
- Elaborated on the Operatives section.
- Didn't include some of @MMKII's particulars on how to approach the ninja. Asking whether we could help the pregnant one seems vaguely offensive (we're implying she couldn't find helpers on her own, or didn't think of that); specifying that we're chatting up the not-skinwaste seemed unnecessary since we're doing it by default. Any other ideas, @MMKII? @faflec?
- Didn't include the Nakano group part, since I'm assuming we're still meeting them at dinner.
- Added a Hospital section.
- Removed the Ami section.
- Removed the Kagome section.
- Removed one of the rumor ideas based on EagleJarl's complaint.
[X] Action Plan:
Timeline: January 6.
Wordcount: 294
- Prepare for and schedule meetings:
- Dinner tonight (if possible): Nakano's team.
- Tomorrow: Ino (lunch), Chouza (afternoon), Asuma (dinner).
- Later this week: Shino, Minami, Keiko (regarding the Seventh Path), Minori.
- Early Morning: Spar with Lee!
- Invite Akane.
- Ami-style training:
- Sparring area: Open training field with 20-30 logs, placed upright. Ground is lava: move between the logs only.
- Vary strategies: chakra-adhering to a single log; destroying logs; racing between logs...
- If they wish, tell them about Gai's final moments from the debriefing.
- Before Akane meets Tsunade, amend your suggestions. You're interested in:
- Giving her funding.
- Opening a medical institution at/near our compound (clear with Noburi first). We will:
- Employ junior med-nin at a better pay than Leaf's general hospital.
- Provide affordable healthcare to civilians at a discount.
- Offer genin, Academy students, and civilians medical education, and subsequent employment.
- Prefer to collaborate with Tsunade's organization on this.
- Acquire some operatives with Noburi and Akane.
- Consider turning mission-desk ninja into operatives.
- Ito Ino.
- The kanji-forgetting one.
- [Hazou, "skinwaste" is a bad word, you mudfoot.]
- The pregnant one.
- The Soggy Tag frequenter: gift an alcoholic beverage, trade stories.
- Look over Jiraiya's blackmail/black market notes. Anything worth looking into?
- Spread rumors with Mari and Naruto. Follow their lead.
- Goals: Make the Hyuuga waste time trying to counter nonexistent plots. Bonus goal: make their allies actually abstain.
- Ideas:
- Hiashi insulted an Inuzuka who died at the Nagi island.
- Hiashi plans to hold the Uchiha responsible for Itachi's actions at Nagi, as the first step to vassalizing them.
- Afternoon clan meeting (high-security room):
- Discuss working with the Yakuza.
- We could sell them ice/salt, or promise assistance against their rivals.
- Should we work with Leaf's xor Mist's Yakuza?
- In our spare time, scribe Kagome's seals to sell later.
Aw. It's not nice to include such traps in suggestions, Twinnstars.
For... what purposes?
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Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Ah, sorry, I meant for this plan:
[x] Action Plan: We Totally Are the Good Guys, Don't You See?
Didn't realize you had two plans, you madman. But basically just to a: Clear out our land (reduce expenses as such) and make sure that all of our methods of land-clearing will work well. We wouldn't want our force wall frames or whatever to break while in use in the field.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
[X] Action Plan:
The following:
- Location
- Pacific standard
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Right, forgot that.
- Folded creative training with Lee into my Creative Training Compilation, modified said post to only include Lee-themed creative trainings.
- This is your own fault, hivemind.
- Incorporated the suggestion above.
[X] Action Plan:
Timeline: January 6.
Wordcount: 286
- Prepare for and schedule meetings:
- Dinner tonight (if possible): Nakano's team.
- Tomorrow: Ino (lunch), Chouza (afternoon), Asuma (dinner).
- Later this week: Shino, Minami, Keiko (regarding the Seventh Path), Minori.
- Early Morning: Spar with Lee!
- Invite Akane.
- Engage in creative training.
- If they wish, tell them about Gai's final moments from the debriefing.
- Before Akane meets Tsunade, amend your suggestions. You're interested in:
- Giving her funding.
- Opening a medical institution at/near our compound (clear with Noburi first). We will:
- Employ junior med-nin at a better pay than Leaf's general hospital.
- Provide affordable healthcare to civilians at a discount.
- Offer genin, Academy students, and civilians medical education, and subsequent employment.
- Prefer to collaborate with Tsunade's organization on this.
- Acquire some operatives with Noburi and Akane.
- Consider turning mission-desk ninja into operatives. Give them gifts as thanks for their oft-overlooked service?
- Ito Ino.
- The kanji-forgetting one.
- [Hazou, "skinwaste" is a bad word, you mudfoot.]
- The pregnant one.
- The Soggy Tag frequenter: gift an alcoholic beverage, trade stories.
- Consider finding and thanking other "overlooked" ninja. ANBU guards? Logistical specialists?
- Look over Jiraiya's blackmail/black market notes. Anything worth looking into?
- Spread rumors with Mari and Naruto. Follow their lead.
- Goals: Make the Hyuuga waste time trying to counter nonexistent plots. Bonus goal: make their allies actually abstain.
- Ideas:
- Hiashi insulted an Inuzuka who died at the Nagi island.
- Hiashi plans to hold the Uchiha responsible for Itachi's actions at Nagi, as the first step to vassalizing them.
- Afternoon clan meeting (high-security room):
- Discuss working with the Yakuza.
- We could sell them ice/salt, or promise assistance against their rivals.
- Should we work with Leaf's xor Mist's Yakuza?
- In our spare time, scribe Kagome's seals to sell later.
I don't think they'll be very useful during land-clearing itself — our tools work much faster than theirs and we're more experienced in their use — but I'll include them in a consulting position, see below.
It's a strange experience indeed, to be rooting against yourself.
In that spirit! @huhYeahGoodPoint, @Immortal Lurker, @Paperclipped, you may find this plan interesting:
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Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
No, no, this is just a laundering scheme to allow us to clear our land within the mission system like we did with the loggers before. Then we can take a mission to clear our kilometer-square of land with the same loggers.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
[x] Action Plan: We Totally Are the Good Guys, Don't You See?
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
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Do we need to include such details before we actually start implementing it?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
This isn't for the mission to clear the kilometer of land, it's to clear our own compound of trees.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Ahh, that's what you meant. I took "our land" to mean "the square kilometer of land outside Leaf that we'll acquire", not "the land we currently own, i. e. the compound". This works?:
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