- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Anti-colonial?
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Late to the party as always but only just actually read the chapter since I wanted to give it the attention it deserved. It was interesting to see the reactions before reading the chapter though.
If I had known that Hana would fixate on the very first thing Hazou requested to do with her, I would not have voted for us baking cookies with her but for her to teach us jutsu. I mean seriously, at this point Hana x Cookies is going to get morescreen time write time read time (?) than KeiTen.
What a missed opportunity.
This is actually a good sign she is taking Hazou seriously. If she had kept her motherly mask from the get-go she could have probably manipulated him much more easily but she chose not to.
Well said, Hazou. The Hyuga threat at the end is a nice touch that I don't remember being in the plan (though I could of course be wrong) so it's likely an addition from Keiko. Not the last time we can tell that conferring with Keiko and Noburi really helped preparing for this discussion and we should do so more often in the future where appropiate.
And it looks like Hana agrees since she didn't shoot the argument down immediately.
And we are switching tracks to the emotional side of the argument. Hazou's/Noburi's contribution, I am guessing? Either way, good choice.
Maybe Master Diplomat Hazou can become a reality with enough training after all instead of just a meme joke?
Another appeal to her emotions which makes sense since it looked like the previous lines worked on her. That said, I do believe that Hazou is actually not being completely truthful here when he says he would abandon everything to be with Hana. Whether this is deliberate on his part or subconcious I can't say yet.
Good. He notices the argument breaking down at this point and switches tracks to a more pragmatic track.
I wish Hazou would have asked her why she isn't reinstated yet to begin with. Does Mist not deem a proper blood connection between the Kages as important anymore because they have alternative routes they can pursue? Or did Hana refuse Ren's offer? Because I can't see any drawbacks for the Mizukage to not push for reconciliation - even if we ignore the fact that Ren wants to get along with Hana on a personal level.
Curious.
Just like Hazou's line earlier that he would abandon everything and return to Mist if his mother asked him to, I am pretty sure Hana is doing the same thing here by immediately agreeing with Hazou's argument: she probably wants to believe this because it is important to her son but she is likely exaggerating in how fast she came around.
This is quite interesting to be honest. You can really tell that both of them want to avoid saying anything to alienate the other side so they try to meet in the middle by lying to themselves/each other.
It's heartwarming - in a twisted sort of way.
And again here:
Also good use of physical affection here to assure her that Hazou still loves her. To be clear, I am not trying to insinuate that he is deliberately being manipulative, he just does this naturally since he does love her and he is such an earnest little fella.
Another reminder that Hazou saying he would give up everything here and move back with her if only she asked is not the complete truth. Because she just asked and he already had an argument as to why this is not the optimal choice. It's clear that he doesn't want to leave even for her and while I can't say for certain what would happen if she actually pushed for real, this is hardly a clear cut case of Hazou being under his mother's thumb like some previous posts speculated.
Also, the Keiko influences are strong within this paragraph.
Or maybe we should not be discarding people because that is a really ruthless thing to do? Even pragmatically, Mari clearly has potential to be more useful to Hazou so a third option would be to give her a push so she can "stand on her own two feet" later. Incidentally, this is what Hana decides to do later on, though unfortunately not in a way I was hoping.
Hazou putting the OOPS into OOPSec.
Yes, yes, I did read the paragraph after this.
Oh this is rich coming from Hazou.
Side note: I think most of us knew that "Kuro" in Kurosawa means black. It's a real pity then that neither Hazou or Hana translate to pot and kettle respectively.
[H] Hana Quest: Action Plan: Let the QMs Decide: Needs More Colons
Expectation: Hana will talk to Mari and tell her she isn't beyond help even if she has to lie for Hazou's sake.
Reality:
Just a little violence and some water boarding. You know, all well within parameters.
Props to Hazou though, this was a good spur of the moment decision since Kagome actually attacking Hana could have made a terrible situation even worse.
That said:
This is just hard to read, poor Kagome.
Hazou is being all perceptive right now, isn't he? Your real Momma, the hivemind, is proud of you.
Kagome has a point, we did forget about him.
But of course the proper reply should have been "I did not expect my mother to do this either or I would warned you in advance. All I wanted was for her to talk to Mari."
Still, this is going to need fixing.
:[
Yes, the normal thing to get someone to wash their hair is to drown them. It's OK though, it was just for a little bit.
:[
I think we all knew what a biased view Hana had of Mari but to restate the obvious: It doesn't matter what Mari does, Hana is going to criticize her for it anyway. Genuinely miserable? "Stop your self-pity!" Moving on after their argument? "What a manipulative and cold hearted bitch!"
It kinda reminded me of this:
Mari sure is going pretty damn far for her "act", isn't she? Does this qualify for the list? Probably not.
HAZOU: Don't you mean "between Hazou and I"?
HANA: Really not the time, cricket.
:]
Guys, remember this? Back when all we had to worry about was dying horribly. None of this social nonsense.
I really hope Hazou is lying to himself here. Nothing about this "went well" and this was not a "motivational session".
It is probably going to achieve results in the short term but geez. We should not let Hana get away with this.
I wonder what he was training with him. Probably chakra capacity? If so, we have become one with the LutD version of Sakura.
(@Velorien this is your excuse not only for a Telescope Buyers' Monthly omake but a crossover.)
Your real Momma, the hivemind, is becoming increasingly less proud of you once again.
Maybe someone could write a spinoff about this relationship, sounds interesting.
This has to be a massive case of unreliable narrator (the diarrhea bit later on indicates as much) because that's some disproportionate retribution if I saw one and Hazou should realize this. But then again, what do I know, maybe Anko follows the teachings of Hana-sensei's Guide to Restraint.
The rest of the stuff I couldn't really get much into since it was such a severe mood whiplash and - more importantly - I don't really care much about the whole orgy bit anymore (to be clear, not a knock about the writing itself). There are more important things to focus on.
In summary, great chapter and one we should point @eaglejarl to the next time he says he can't write social stuff.
Seriously though, it was well written.
I believe I am once again slightly positive on the "Normal Person" to "Shit Post" ratio and earned myself the right to continue to do the latter for a while.
(Also what, 3k words. Granted, half of that has to be quotes but that is surprising.)
Probably too tired to contribute much to any plan but I hope there is one that satisfies these key points:
Kagome:
Ping me if you think your plan satisfies some or more of these things and I will try to vote for them, time zone shenanigans and bad sleeping habits willing.
If I had known that Hana would fixate on the very first thing Hazou requested to do with her, I would not have voted for us baking cookies with her but for her to teach us jutsu. I mean seriously, at this point Hana x Cookies is going to get more
What a missed opportunity.
This is actually a good sign she is taking Hazou seriously. If she had kept her motherly mask from the get-go she could have probably manipulated him much more easily but she chose not to.
Well said, Hazou. The Hyuga threat at the end is a nice touch that I don't remember being in the plan (though I could of course be wrong) so it's likely an addition from Keiko. Not the last time we can tell that conferring with Keiko and Noburi really helped preparing for this discussion and we should do so more often in the future where appropiate.
And it looks like Hana agrees since she didn't shoot the argument down immediately.
And we are switching tracks to the emotional side of the argument. Hazou's/Noburi's contribution, I am guessing? Either way, good choice.
Maybe Master Diplomat Hazou can become a reality with enough training after all instead of just a meme joke?
Another appeal to her emotions which makes sense since it looked like the previous lines worked on her. That said, I do believe that Hazou is actually not being completely truthful here when he says he would abandon everything to be with Hana. Whether this is deliberate on his part or subconcious I can't say yet.
Good. He notices the argument breaking down at this point and switches tracks to a more pragmatic track.
I wish Hazou would have asked her why she isn't reinstated yet to begin with. Does Mist not deem a proper blood connection between the Kages as important anymore because they have alternative routes they can pursue? Or did Hana refuse Ren's offer? Because I can't see any drawbacks for the Mizukage to not push for reconciliation - even if we ignore the fact that Ren wants to get along with Hana on a personal level.
Curious.
Just like Hazou's line earlier that he would abandon everything and return to Mist if his mother asked him to, I am pretty sure Hana is doing the same thing here by immediately agreeing with Hazou's argument: she probably wants to believe this because it is important to her son but she is likely exaggerating in how fast she came around.
This is quite interesting to be honest. You can really tell that both of them want to avoid saying anything to alienate the other side so they try to meet in the middle by lying to themselves/each other.
It's heartwarming - in a twisted sort of way.
And again here:
Also good use of physical affection here to assure her that Hazou still loves her. To be clear, I am not trying to insinuate that he is deliberately being manipulative, he just does this naturally since he does love her and he is such an earnest little fella.
Another reminder that Hazou saying he would give up everything here and move back with her if only she asked is not the complete truth. Because she just asked and he already had an argument as to why this is not the optimal choice. It's clear that he doesn't want to leave even for her and while I can't say for certain what would happen if she actually pushed for real, this is hardly a clear cut case of Hazou being under his mother's thumb like some previous posts speculated.
Also, the Keiko influences are strong within this paragraph.
Or maybe we should not be discarding people because that is a really ruthless thing to do? Even pragmatically, Mari clearly has potential to be more useful to Hazou so a third option would be to give her a push so she can "stand on her own two feet" later. Incidentally, this is what Hana decides to do later on, though unfortunately not in a way I was hoping.
Hazou putting the OOPS into OOPSec.
Yes, yes, I did read the paragraph after this.
Oh this is rich coming from Hazou.
Side note: I think most of us knew that "Kuro" in Kurosawa means black. It's a real pity then that neither Hazou or Hana translate to pot and kettle respectively.
[H] Hana Quest: Action Plan: Let the QMs Decide: Needs More Colons
- Just let things happen
- Reminder: We still hate Mari
- Hana will go pretty damn for Hazou
- This overrides all other actions
- We only just got him back
- :
- We only just got him back
- This overrides all other actions
Expectation: Hana will talk to Mari and tell her she isn't beyond help even if she has to lie for Hazou's sake.
Reality:
Just a little violence and some water boarding. You know, all well within parameters.
Props to Hazou though, this was a good spur of the moment decision since Kagome actually attacking Hana could have made a terrible situation even worse.
That said:
This is just hard to read, poor Kagome.
Hazou is being all perceptive right now, isn't he? Your real Momma, the hivemind, is proud of you.
Kagome has a point, we did forget about him.
But of course the proper reply should have been "I did not expect my mother to do this either or I would warned you in advance. All I wanted was for her to talk to Mari."
Still, this is going to need fixing.
:[
Yes, the normal thing to get someone to wash their hair is to drown them. It's OK though, it was just for a little bit.
:[
I think we all knew what a biased view Hana had of Mari but to restate the obvious: It doesn't matter what Mari does, Hana is going to criticize her for it anyway. Genuinely miserable? "Stop your self-pity!" Moving on after their argument? "What a manipulative and cold hearted bitch!"
It kinda reminded me of this:
Mari sure is going pretty damn far for her "act", isn't she? Does this qualify for the list? Probably not.
HAZOU: Don't you mean "between Hazou and I"?
HANA: Really not the time, cricket.
:]
Guys, remember this? Back when all we had to worry about was dying horribly. None of this social nonsense.
I really hope Hazou is lying to himself here. Nothing about this "went well" and this was not a "motivational session".
It is probably going to achieve results in the short term but geez. We should not let Hana get away with this.
I wonder what he was training with him. Probably chakra capacity? If so, we have become one with the LutD version of Sakura.
(@Velorien this is your excuse not only for a Telescope Buyers' Monthly omake but a crossover.)
Your real Momma, the hivemind, is becoming increasingly less proud of you once again.
Maybe someone could write a spinoff about this relationship, sounds interesting.
This has to be a massive case of unreliable narrator (the diarrhea bit later on indicates as much) because that's some disproportionate retribution if I saw one and Hazou should realize this. But then again, what do I know, maybe Anko follows the teachings of Hana-sensei's Guide to Restraint.
The rest of the stuff I couldn't really get much into since it was such a severe mood whiplash and - more importantly - I don't really care much about the whole orgy bit anymore (to be clear, not a knock about the writing itself). There are more important things to focus on.
In summary, great chapter and one we should point @eaglejarl to the next time he says he can't write social stuff.
Seriously though, it was well written.
I believe I am once again slightly positive on the "Normal Person" to "Shit Post" ratio and earned myself the right to continue to do the latter for a while.
(Also what, 3k words. Granted, half of that has to be quotes but that is surprising.)
Probably too tired to contribute much to any plan but I hope there is one that satisfies these key points:
Kagome:
- Apologize for leaving him out of the planning though stress the fact that we did not expect this to go down the way it happened either. Still, his point is taken and we will try to improve like he has ever so slightly after settling in Konoha.
- While we appreciate her trying to help us, the way it went down was really not appropiate. That said, I am unsure whether Hazou would agree here considering he thinks Hana's "motivational speech" went "well".
- He probably won't be happy to hear Hana assaulted Mari. Again. Is Hazou just bound to be stuck between his new and old family, trying to mediate or what? I don't have a solution for this atm though.
Ping me if you think your plan satisfies some or more of these things and I will try to vote for them, time zone shenanigans and bad sleeping habits willing.
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
You reside across the pond still, dontcha?
Theres an author on site that responds to jibes of
"Hey I think you misspelled "color" here, it's "color" not "colour" !"
with:
"Not in my country, colonial."
(They live in London)
I think we might have a non-negligible overlap of readers with With This Ring, so perhaps someone-not-me might get the joke.
"Hey I think you misspelled "color" here, it's "color" not "colour" !"
with:
"Not in my country, colonial."
(They live in London)
I think we might have a non-negligible overlap of readers with With This Ring, so perhaps someone-not-me might get the joke.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
[X] Action Plan: Kagome, Jiraiya, Ebisu, Hana
Seems the closest to what I want to get out of next chapter.
@MadScientist
Any chance you can add:
- Hazou reassures that he did not expect Hana to come storming in and attack Mari either or he would have told him in lieu of the apology
- Hazou should confront his mother about what she did. Her methods were really not OK.
Seems the closest to what I want to get out of next chapter.
@MadScientist
Any chance you can add:
- Hazou reassures that he did not expect Hana to come storming in and attack Mari either or he would have told him in lieu of the apology
- Hazou should confront his mother about what she did. Her methods were really not OK.
I don't think either is a good idea. At least not now. The first misses the point that we didn't include Kagome from the start. The second might be better placed once things are stabilised a little. Or at least until we've talked things over with Jiraiya to bring him up to speed.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
To look up: do grues eat cookies?
I reserve the right to complicate matters by being Russian as and when appropriate.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Fair enough. But we need to confront Hana at some point eventually so she doesn't get the impression that we approve of how she handled things.
Also, your plan has no distractions like continuing the Ino/orgy bit so bonus points for that.
Oh, totally. This isn't something we can leave alone for more than a few updates.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
As has been pointed out to me before:
Technically not water boarding. Controlled drowning, I suppose. Either way, super duper fucked up. Semantics etc.
Uh... last I checked, "controlled drowning" is waterboarding. Or, at least, "controlled drowning" is the best way to describe it.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Thats what *I* said!
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
I have it on good authority that they are deathly allergic to carbs of any form so no attempt should be made to force them to eat cookies.
Just be a good sport¹ and accept the fact that KeiTen has been dethroned.
¹Being a good sport includes but is not limited to avoiding these situations:
- Rocks randomly falling on Hana in a freak accident.
- Her choking on cookies and the QMs sneaking in the line "Haha, guess she bit off more than she could chew in the romcom that is life."
- Hazou dying to get Hana to fall into depression, so the cookies can't deal with her behavior anymore and break it off.
- Keiko turning out to be a princess all along and marrying Tenten only to ride off into the sunset on a chakra unicorn. Sunset here equals a spinoff of MfD that will be written exclusively at the expense of this quest.
I see. That makes it slightly better. You know, like how infinity is slightly smaller than infinity+1.
You only have yourself to blame.
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Its exactly like that, and don't let the mathematical heathens tell you otherwise.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
I will henceforth endeavor to help educate the masses about this.
- Location
- UK
I don't actually know what you're trying to build here, but ears are cheating stinkers. They most certainly are not just "two basically omnidirectional sensors a few inches apart".
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I had that exact conversation with him, actually. Although it wasn't one of the "extra U" words (I would have recognized that), it was a "S not Z" word. Incentivize, maybe?
I stopped reading WtR because I finally couldn't stand his various special-snowflake writing conventions -- making up new punctuation, capitalizing species names ("Ivy", "Tiger", "Human"), refusing to use dialogue tags even at the expense of clarity, etc.
Speaking very technically, they are different.
Waterboarding is a form of controlled drowning in which the victim is tied to a board that can be tipped down in order to immerse the victim and tipped up in order to let them breathe. When compared with simply shoving their head in a bucket, waterboarding has the added "bonus" of getting water up the victim's nose and into their sinuses.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Don't forget writing key dialogue in Invisitext!
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Action Plan: Kagome, Jiraiya, Ebisu, Hana
I'm a little bit worried as to how this is worded. It sounds like we're asking Hana to help us counter the things Mist is pushing forward regarding us, which is against Mist's interest (else why would they be doing it?) and thus would obligate Hana to not help us and etc. etc..
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
If she doesn't want to help her only son get ready for the chuunin exams that's on her.
- Location
- Yes.
Yes, I understand that, but to specifically word it such that we're preparing to undermine Mist's narrative...that's where I have trouble.If she doesn't want to help her only son get ready for the chuunin exams that's on her.
Oh, also, we should do something with Mari. Low-stakes things to make sure she knows we haven't replaced her with Hana for advice and stuff, just as we're doing stuff with Hana such that she doesn't get the impression we've replaced her with Mari as our mom.
I was specifically meaning the people who are trying to make us look bad because they don't want an alliance. That should be in Ren's/Hana's favour to help us undermine them.
- Location
- Yes.
As long as it is stated in the plan I am OK with that; it was not clear from my read-through, hence my worry.
- Location
- Yes.
Having reread the plan, I express a bit of worry to this. Yes, Kagome should react to what-appears-to-be-threats with violence, but the violence should not be disproportionate (he immediately responds with KILLTHESTINKERS rather than warning the individual to leave). Especially since Hazou announced what was going on as soon as they got there. Yes, Kagome's immediate reaction wasn't wrong (sprint to the situation) but Hazou's calling out should at least make him not react with more violence. Especially since [REDACTED] isn't a thing, so disguises aren't a problem.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
How about 'as decisively as he did'? Not condoning the disproportionate murder-splat aspect of the reaction, but approving of how quick he came to the aid of his family in case something was horribly wrong.