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In post-Akatsuki, post-unification Mist, Yagura wonders why all the Nara make the same hand sign when they see him entering the barber's.
I think, for Nara (who may still believe Hazou is a mastermind) the proper sign would be:
Your strategy is incredibly bold and unorthodox. I find myself perplexed about it's nature.
(Alongside customary rised eyebrow- for exact height refer to latest Standards of Nara Language)
 
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I think, for Nara (who may still believe Hazou is a mastermind) the proper sign would be:
Your strategy is incredibly bold and unorthodox. I find myself perplexed about it's nature.
Let's be real, he knows we're no mastermind. He only thought we were because Keiko implied it to Shikamaru, who was immediately alarmed and relayed it to Shikaku.
 
We should totally have lunch with Shikaku to ensure the mastermind Hazou misunderstanding is put completely behind us. Just put a carte blanche for it in the plan and let @Velorien write it, what could go wrong?
 
We should totally have lunch with Shikaku to ensure the mastermind Hazou misunderstanding is put completely behind us. Just put a carte blanche for it in the plan and let @Velorien write it, what could go wrong?
TFW Hazou accidentally becomes Hokage and has to spend a minimum of 8 hours a day doing paperwork.
 
Yagura gets to stick around because what else is he going to do after he gets rescued? The Nara are in Mist because, once Mist and Leaf are both united under the Hokage, why not?
Why would he be rescued and not murdered?

e: Although, I guess the whole jinchuuriki thing makes that awkward.

On the other hand, Mari's (probably) pregnant...
 
Something interesting. there are ~30 active sealmasters in Leaf. Hazou, right now, all on his lonesome, represents 3.3% of leaf's entire seal output. If we can get him from five minutes a seal to one minute a seal, he leaps to ~16 percent.

For anyone who isn't an iron nerve user, this is dangerous well past the point of insanity.

For anyone who is an iron nerve user, it risks revealing the bloodline.

But.

We have Nara printers. Nara printers really seem like they should be able to mass produce seals. We've even been talking about how to make them do that.

We are the first iron nerve user in history who can just go nuts with their ability. People will examine our seals, find that they are absolutely identical, and assume that special printer that we visit every time we make a bunch of seals is doing all the work.

Remember, a life long iron nerve user first assumed that the works of a Nara printer were the result of the iron nerve. Everyone who hasn't encountered the iron nerve will assume the opposite.

The best part is the other villages desperately attempting to create their own seal-printers now that they "know" that it's possible and realistically feasible.
 
Chapter 219: Implications
Hazō was starting to wish he and Fifi hadn't reached an understanding. It was already hard enough for him to get to sleep these days. As soon as his brain recognised that the day had ended, it would decide that he was now free for all the thoughts of Akane he'd previously managed to avoid. Then, once he did fall asleep, being awakened by a possibly feline monstrosity demanding scritches behind the ear—or else—was not doing anything for his mental state.

Thus, he was already up and in the middle of making breakfast when a yawning Keiko descended the stairs.

"'morning, Keiko."

"Good morning, Hazō."

Keiko walked over to the sink and poured herself a cup of water.

"Hazō," she began after a fortifying drink, "it has been made clear to me that I owe you an apology."

Things weren't so bad, then. He must have gone back to sleep after placating Fifi, and for once it was a nice dream.

"An apology?" he asked, intrigued where such a fantastical experience was going to go next.

"Indeed. I should not have allowed myself to crush your fragile spirit in an outpouring of righteous fury without first establishing the degree to which you were responsible for the orgy."

"You mean not at all?"

"That is what the preliminary investigation has concluded," Keiko admitted. "Although it increasingly appears that the truth will forever be lost in the fog."

"You think Mari-sensei arranged it?" Hazō asked, aghast. "But she couldn't have—no, wait. It fits her sense of humour perfectly, and she's the one who invited Anko... Are you implying a pre-arranged conspiracy, from before Mari-sensei... got sick?"

"Mari-sensei would probably never do such a thing!" Keiko snapped." I merely appreciate the elegance of the expression.

"Regardless, I did not have sufficient evidence to justify my actions, and for that I apologise." Keiko bowed deeply, if not for long.

Hazō wished he had more such dreams, instead of charred corpses floating on the water or him hiding behind an air dome while Minami's blood painted it red.

"Apology accepted, Keiko." Then, looking at the obvious tension in her posture, it hit him. "Wait, did Noburi put you up to this?"

"Is it so implausible that I should reflect on my actions and recognise my own failings unassisted?"

Hazō's inner paranoid missing-nin screamed at him that this was no time for honesty.

Hazō's outer, slightly less paranoid ex-missing-nin cast about for a distraction.

"So while you're on a roll, what about that time you tried to kill me the other night?"

"What other night?" Keiko asked innocently. "I do not recall any flagrant violation of my privacy, such as would require an as-yet-uninflicted torturous death in order to both preserve the security of any information gained and prevent similar incidents in the future."

"Huh," Hazō said. He recalled the last time he'd been careless with his denials. "That's funny, neither do I. I'm pretty sure I went straight to bed that night—not that we're talking about any night in particular—and that's exactly what I'd tell anyone if the subject happened to come up in conversation.

"Not that it would," he added, "it being just another ordinary night with no reason to draw anyone's attention."

"He learns," Keiko said approvingly. "It is fortunate that I was not forced to defend my privacy, and will not have to do so in the future."

"Y-Yes, ma'am."

At this point, and mercifully none earlier, Kagome-sensei came down the stairs, one hand unsuccessfully trying to reshape his greasy morning hair in an effort to internalise Mari-sensei's teachings. "Did none of you hear the bell? Someone's at the front gate."

"I'll get it!" Hazō leapt from his seat.


"This is for you, Keiko." After reluctantly returning to the main building, he held out a plain but well-made wooden box, a cube maybe two feet per side.

"How curious," Keiko said, starting to open the box. "I was not expecting a delivery."

Suddenly, Kagome-sensei's hands landed on top of hers, pushing the lid down again.

With a startled cry, Keiko leapt back several metres, landing in a defensive crouch. Wide eyes flickered between Kagome-sensei and Hazō, as if watching to see which one attacked first.

"Oh," Kagome-sensei said, looking stricken. "I'm so sorry, Keiko. I moved on instinct. Are you all right?"

Keiko straightened up slowly. Her hands remained clenched. The panic faded from her eyes, replaced by bitter hatred.

"You were supposed to be family", she spat, then stormed off before Hazō or Kagome-sensei could say a word.

"What in the abyss were you thinking, Kagome-sensei?" Hazō asked after they were done staring after her. "You know how she feels about being touched."

"I didn't—it wasn't—she was about to open the box! What kind of idiot opens a strange box when they don't know where it came from?"

"Oh." When he put it that way, it made perfect sense. One of the first things Hazō had learned from Kagome-sensei was to trust a gift no more than you trusted the giver, and usually less. Back when the "treacherous stinkers" in the villages near his forest called him the Black Hunter, sometimes they left offerings for him. Obviously, they were poisoned and/or traps, and Kagome-sensei knew better than to go near a single one.

Hazō was confident that this particular gift was safe, but of course there was no way he could say that.

"Kagome-sensei, I think you should go apologise to Keiko. I'll check the box for traps."

Kagome-sensei swallowed as if he was about to enter a chakra rabbit's den without a gorget, and headed for the stairs. "Don't forget to Dispel in case of genjutsu seals," he said absently.

"There are genjutsu seals?!"

"Not anymore," Kagome-sensei muttered as he left.

Hazō frowned. Why would Kagome-sensei bother to remind him about something as obvious as checking for poison needles?


He'd just finished giving the box the most cursory of checks when Kagome-sensei returned.

"No good. She's locked up in her room and won't talk to me." He gritted his teeth. "Stupid idiot of a sealmaster. Wasn't long ago if anyone tried to grab my hands out of nowhere, they'd be ashes before I knew what was happening. Stupid, stupid!

"I should wait here until she comes back," Kagome-sensei said after a pained silence. "Got to tell her I'm sorry."

"I'll wait with you," Hazō decided. It wasn't what he had planned for the morning, but if he'd read the situation right, then a still-recovering Noburi had taken the time and effort to fix a family conflict that had nothing to do with him. If Hazō wanted to someday be able to protect the emotional health of the clan in Noburi's absence, he could start by paying it forward.

"Thanks, Hazō. You're a good kid."

Without Jiraiya, Mari-sensei or Noburi (the latter having spent the night in hospital to make sure a recurring ache wasn't delayed-effect poison), it was a very quiet morning. Hazō and Kagome-sensei had tried talking seals, but the mood just wasn't there.


A few hours later, Keiko finally emerged, eyes red. Her hands were clasped behind her back, the way she sometimes held them while deep in thought, but her arms were tense.

"I—I apologise for overreacting," she said. "I know you meant no harm by it. I know I should have more control over my… responses. Over everything. I should not keep inconveniencing people with my own unnatural failings."

"No, I'm sorry, Keiko!" Kagome-sensei exclaimed. "I wasn't thinking, and I should have known better, and I never, never meant to hurt you."

"I know," Keiko said. "I know that."

She took a slow, deep breath. "But please understand, Kagome… this cannot happen again, not even by error. This house is a safe space for me. A space where, at least in Jiraiya's absence, I can be myself without fear. If you destroy that, then no matter your intentions… no matter my intentions… I will no longer be able to trust you as family."

Kagome-sensei could not have been paler if he'd just emerged from a nap on vampire grass. "I would never—I swear, Keiko, I'd rather die than—"

"That is enough," Keiko said wearily. "I believe we have both said everything we have to say.

"Hazō, have you the box?"

Hazō dropped the box into her hands from a safe vertical distance. She opened it.

Inside, packaged in straw, was an omen of doom to come.

"What in the name of the Mizukage's neatly arranged if uninspired haircut is this?!"

It took Hazō the full power of the Iron Nerve, combined with all of Mari-sensei's training, to keep his face straight. "It's a soft toy. Looks like a black kitten."

"Exquisite craftsmanship," Keiko said. "But why? Hazō, who delivered it?"

"It was anonymous," Hazō lied. "Probably just a random present you can put on your shelf and forget about."

Keiko gave him a disparaging look. "Nobody randomly sends the virtually-adult princess of Leaf's ruling clan, the Pangolin Summoner, the woman who survived two years in the wilderness and only recently crushed the Chūnin Exam, a toy kitten. The very idea is preposterous. No, this is some sort of message."

She began to pace back and forth across the kitchen, holding the kitten out at chest height with her eyes locked on its. Hazō had a distinct feeling that it was absorbing her attention to the point where he and Kagome-sensei had ceased to exist.

"The material is all too fragile. The body could contain a missive to be retrieved with the assistance of a blade. But one cannot be certain that this would occur to the recipient without some prior arrangement. Especially given the remarkable quality of the work, which makes wanton destruction unappealing if not repulsive. Thus, the message must be symbolic.

"How would Lord Shikaku analyse such an object?" she mused. "The cat, especially the black cat, is a deadly predator that strikes from the shadows and slays its prey with a single bite. This is a threat, a declaration of war.

"But no, it is a kitten. The carefully-judged proportions and the deep blue eyes make it plain. A juvenile, immature and unready for combat. It is an implied parallel to myself, a profound insult that begs to be repaid in blood. Perhaps it is the opening blow in an ill-conceived campaign of psychological warfare—by one unaware that I have experienced nightmares such as would make jōnin weep. Still, a soft toy as a tool of intimidation?"

"It is far more plausible as… a seduction attempt. Oh, no.

"But wait. I have not indicated any interest in soft toys, nor generally in feminine goods. A secret admirer, then, who fails to respect my preferences? Troublesome indeed.

"No, how could I be such a fool? Ami gave me just such a toy for my seventh birthday. She was my faithful companion, and I called her Mewramasa, Devourer of Unworthy Souls. We were inseparable until… until that fateful day. Given the dearth of black kitten toys in this impoverished world, much less reasons to send any to me, probability dictates a connection."

Hazō suppressed his aura as hard as he could lest Keiko recall his existence. His adopted sister had an… unfortunate… response to realising that somebody had learned her embarrassing secrets, and Kagome-sensei, still consumed with guilt, might take her side.

Fortunately, she remained lost in her own recollections.

"No matter how much Ami may... hate me now, she would not send me a message to remind me of that darkest of days. She could not conceive of such cruelty. In that case, who? Who else knew? Masamewne's master, of course, and our respective seconds. The older girl with the knife. But only a truly petty and pathetic soul would remember such an event across half their lifetime. Who else? My parents might. Others in the clan?"

None of Hazō's fears stopped him from mentally filling away "Mewramasa, Devourer of Unworthy Souls" for future use. If Mum had really told Keiko about his first crush and the haiku, he was going to need all the trump cards he could get.

"If so," Keiko went on, "what is the message? They would not bypass Ami if their desire was to seek reconciliation. What else could they have to say to me? An injunction, perhaps, not to reveal their secrets? A hidden threat?"

She paused. "Kagome, how proceeds the Master Plan?"

"Phase Two complete," Kagome grunted, colour gradually returning to his face as Keiko continued to spend time in his presence without breaking into tears or snarling words of contempt. "But I'd want more research time before Phase Three."

"Acceptable. Please do not strain yourself, but I would appreciate a progress report before the end of the week."

"The Master Plan?" Hazō asked with a sudden feeling of dread.

"Nothing that need concern you," Keiko brushed the question away. "Or rather, it is too late for you to interfere. You will be notified when the plan is complete, like everyone else."

"Kagome-sensei?" Hazō appealed.

"You ought to know better than to ask."

"Now, where was I?" Keiko said. "One does not simply bring toy kittens into Leaf. All goods and visitors undergo thorough inspection, and packages as suspicious as this one doubly so. There is no guarantee that this message would arrive safely rather than being disassembled or destroyed by the security forces. It would be necessary for an internal source to procure and deliver the item on the Mori's behalf.

"With whom in Leaf might the Mori communicate unmonitored? The Nara, of course. A Nara faction, then, one inclined to ferry a message opaque to themselves on the Mori's behalf? But that is not the Nara's way. The Akimichi, perhaps, might accept a simple trade in favours, but the Nara would never allow themselves to be a blind piece in another's game.

"What am I missing? Should I consult the Nara, or is there a risk of becoming entangled in whatever complex relationship the two clans possess, and finding myself made such a blind piece myself?"

"Keiko," Hazō interrupted, "have you considered the possibility that it might just be a soft toy?"

"Do not be so naïve, Hazō. A shinobi must always see the hidden side of the hidden side. Had I but understood this in time, perhaps I could have perceived and avoided Shikigami's trap. I will not make the same mistake twice.

"However, it is true that my deliberations can proceed no further with the information I have available. I shall keep her in my room for the time being, and consider my options."

"Her?"

"It. I shall keep it in my room. Stop looking at me like that."

Hazō was going to die. It was a certainty now. He was going to die, and it was going to be grisly, and creative, and everyone around him would agree that he'd brought it on himself. But it was already too late to turn back—and besides, she'd refused to apologise for the other night.

-o-​

"Wait," Noburi grabbed Hazō's hand as Hazō reached for the doorknob. "Keiko, you go in first. Make sure she's decent."

Keiko blushed. Hazō opened the door for her, as she was presently keeping her hands in her pockets.

"Please come in," she said shortly after entering.

"No. Go away. Please."

Hazō ignored Mari-sensei and followed Keiko. Noburi brought up the rear.

Hazō couldn't hold back the gasp. Curled up in a ball on the too-large bed was the three-time Mist CQC champion, genjutsu mistress, seduction expert elite jōnin, the Heartbreaker, and she was only five feet tall. Mari-sensei had never been five feet tall, even asleep. Her sense of presence, calm, confident, and in control, had made her no smaller than the hulking, lantern-jawed Shikigami. Hazō knew her physical height from her Bingo Book entry, but he had no idea when he first outgrew her because, at the time, it simply hadn't registered.

Now, for the first time in his cognition, she was a small woman and he was a medium-sized young man. He felt like the floor had given way under his feet.

"Please. Go away," came a quiet voice from the ball in the middle of the bed.

"Mari-sensei," Keiko said, "there is something we wish to say to you."

"These guys filled me in on the swamp thing," Noburi said, "and how you were the one who picked us."

Mari-sensei sat up. Hazō vaguely noticed that she was still in her nightwear.

"I know what you did wasn't cool, Mari-sensei," Noburi said. "I'm not going to pretend it wasn't. But looking at it from the results point of view? I have a great life here. My new family actually values me for who I am, I get to live in a ruthless dictatorship that likes me rather than a ruthless dictatorship that hates me, I get top-notch training in general badassery and medical ninjutsu, which I wouldn't even know I had a gift for back in Mist, I get to go on super special missions which Hazō isn't important enough to hear about… hell, I have a realistic shot at being Hokage one day. Even after all this time, it's a little scary to say this out loud but… but if you'd told me that going missing-nin was going to turn out like this? I might have signed up with you of my own free will. So yeah, I forgive you."

In the twilight of the shuttered room, Mari-sensei stared at him in bewilderment.

"You already know I've forgiven you," Hazō said. "I told you a while ago. So if you've been carrying that guilt on your shoulders this whole time, you can put it down now. It's OK."

Hazō and Noburi looked at Keiko.

"I love you, Mari-sensei," she said. "I believe in your ability to become a better person."

The words she hadn't said were louder than a shout.

"It doesn't matter," Mari-sensei said. "Just a drop in the ocean. Please go. Hazō, Noburi, it's still not too late for you. And please, help Keiko get better. She doesn't deserve what I've done to her."

Hazō and Noburi turned to look at Keiko.

"What?" she asked. "You expect me to know what she is talking about?"

"I didn't just turn you into a tool, Keiko. I made you happy to be a tool. I twisted you. I made you a willing victim. How can there be anything more disgusting? Anything more unforgivable?"

"Why should I not be happy to be a tool? Mari-sensei, you continue to treat this as some grave sin when it is nothing of the sort!"

"Uh, Keiko," Noburi said. "She's actually right on this one. Wanting to be a tool isn't healthy."

"No," Mari-sensei agreed. "Only somebody like Yagura would ever want other people to be his willing tools. Yagura… and me."

"Would you excuse us for a second?" Hazō asked, dragging Noburi out of the room with him almost by force. After what happened earlier in the day, he'd sooner cut off his own hand than grab Keiko in the same way, but fortunately she followed of her own accord.

"Keiko, what the hell?" he exploded once out of Mari-sensei's hearing range. "What do you mean, you're happy to be a tool?"

"Exactly what I say," Keiko said. "I had been brought up in a tradition of service, only to prove unfit for same, and then abducted to a place where I was of even less use to anyone. Mari-sensei saved my life. This is simple fact. Then she accepted said life, which had gained no worth through its salvation, and used it in a way that benefited us all. I am a better person as a result of the use she has made of me. I have been able to contribute to all of our lives, and to participate in the process that brought us from the edge of death in the swamp to the lap of luxury as children of the most powerful man in the world.

"As I explained to Mari-sensei during our previous conversation, it is in the nature of a parent-child relationship for the child to be a tool to fulfil the parent's specific long-term goals. Why else have children at all? In a healthy relationship, that use is inextricably tied to nurture of the child, and its healthy growth both as an organism and as an individual. All of the concepts inherent to child-rearing—parental responsibility, filial duty, punishment and reward, developmental targets and so forth—naturally stem from proper understanding of this system.

"With this in mind, my relationship with Mari-sensei, in which she consistently derives happiness from her use of me, and I consistently grow as a person through same, is a model parent-child relationship, and the kind of improvement on my relationship with my birth parents which I could never have dared hope for. It alarms and confuses me that Mari-sensei does not feel the same way."

Hazō and Noburi exchanged glances.

"Keiko…" Noburi said slowly, "that is fucked up."

"Seconded," Hazō said. "That is the most disturbing thing I've heard in…" he paused. "Actually, I've just realised that I hear so many things of varying levels of disturbingness around here that I don't know how to finish that sentence. Let me rephrase. What you just said is disturbing and wrong and it kind of scares me that you sound like you really believe it."

"Your opinion is noted," Keiko said coolly. "Can we return to our original business?"

"No," Noburi said. "This is a thing we actually need to talk about. Keiko, that thing you just said isn't a parent-child relationship. Parents are supposed to love their children because they're their children. They're supposed to help their child grow up healthy and strong because that's what you do for someone you love. The tool thing? Doesn't enter into it."

Keiko arched an eyebrow.

"In other words, one gives birth to a child in order to satisfy one's desire to love. Satisfying that desire effectively requires suitable nurture of the child. This in no way challenges my perspective, save that I find the idea of elevating selfless love to the status of a moral good, and then creating a sentient being purely to serve as a tool for the expression of that love, to be deeply hypocritical. Hypocritical and immoral, as you are taking love—a natural byproduct of healthy familial relationships—and attempting to artificially force it into existence through the sacrifice of a human life. A life that has now been denied purpose, or the ability to repay its creators.

"Can you imagine what it must be like to learn that you were born for the sake of a feeling? Not even a special, irreplaceable feeling, but a feeling that would have come into being anyway as your life progressed? Can you imagine what it must be like to learn that, regardless of your personal qualities, literally any other child born to your parents would have served just as well, and in some cases already does? Can you imagine what it must be like to learn that there is nothing you can do to earn your parents' love, and that your value to them rests exclusively on whether they feel a certain emotion at any given time?

"You are proposing that it is normal, healthy and proper to take a child, strip it of all that gives its life a purpose in this world, remove its agency within the most important relationship it will ever have, teach it that its value depends entirely on how other people feel about it, and call all of this 'love'—and you call my worldview 'fucked up'?"

For ten full seconds, Hazō and Noburi stared at each other helplessly.

"We're going to need a bigger brain."

"OK, you know what, let's put the pants-wetting terror of what's happening inside Keiko's mind aside for a moment," Noburi said.

"I, too, will suspend judgement on the ill-considered, dangerous delusions that characterise your approach to parenthood."

"Great. Glad to know we're on the same page."

"We need to focus on Mari-sensei," Hazō agreed. "Keiko, am I right in understanding that you've believed this… stuff… all along, and you believing it has nothing to do with Mari-sensei?"

"Correct. I would consider it self-evident to any suitably developed mind."

"Yeah, no," Noburi said. "But point is, you can just go back in there and tell her that, and then we can get back to the not-intervention and save your issues for another day."

Keiko nodded. "I must say, if Mari-sensei shares your delusions, then the nature of her predicament becomes clearer. If I can make her understand…"

"No," Hazō said firmly. "No making her understand. I'd really like us to be value-neutral when we go in there, at least in the sense of not arguing with each other. She thinks she's been treating us as tools when she hasn't, and she thinks she's made you want to be a tool when she didn't. Let's stick to refuting the things she says that are obviously wrong to all of us."

"Reasonable."

"One more thing, Keiko," Noburi said. "What was with that silence back there? I thought you'd forgiven Mari-sensei for the Swamp of Death?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

Hazō replayed their earlier conversation in his head. "…Huh.

"Are you saying you don't forgive her? You yourself said you'd benefited from her decision the same way we did."

"I have. I have also lost more than either of you."

"But you've made it clear that you hated it back in Mist. Noburi's family weren't great to him, and I had Mum, but the way your family… oh."

"Yes," Keiko said tensely. "Noburi can visit his family through the mere expedient of Jiraiya's and the Mizukage's permission. Your mother is here, and I am honestly happy on your behalf, but… I have lost Ami. Forever. No matter how many new people I may come to love, no matter how many people may come to return that love, the gaping void in my heart will last the rest of my life. And every time it tears at me, I will inevitably remember that it was Mari-sensei's work.

"Hazō, I may be at odds with your mother, but as I reflected on our conversation, I came to realise that there is precious little difference in how we feel. Mari-sensei robbed us of the person we treasured most, for purely selfish reasons, and never once raised a finger to undo the harm she had so wrought. In fact, acts of self-centred self-flagellation aside, she has never even apologised, for what little such a gesture would be worth."

"Keiko…" Hazō whispered.

"There is a difference between Hana and myself. I love Mari-sensei. I always have and I always will. I desire what is best for her, and I am deeply grateful for the use she has made of me.

"But there is also another difference. For all the political and other barriers between you, Hana has had her loved one restored to her. Your bond has been reaffirmed, and will only continue to grow. Mari-sensei has destroyed mine forever, and that is something I cannot forgive.

"I do not yet know how these two convictions will be reconciled, nor do I require external input on the subject. For now, Mari-sensei must be restored to health and happiness. After that… I make no predictions."

Hazō shivered. He could see many possible futures stretching out from this conversation, and nearly all of them were grim. If Mari-sensei and Keiko came into serious conflict, would he be expected to take a side? How would he choose when he didn't want anyone to get hurt? Would it end in house-shaking fights? Permanent alienation? Or worse? Hazō knew that Keiko was prepared to go pretty damn far in the name of the things she believed in, and for all that her explanation had been delivered in her usual dispassionate style, he had glimpsed something nameless in her eyes that hadn't been there even in her darkest moments.

"Well," Noburi said, "philosophical differences aside, I think we can at least all agree that this family is seriously fucked up."

"Yeah."

"Without question."

"Great," Noburi said, but without feeling. "Common ground at last. Now let's talk Mari-sensei strategy before we go back in there."

-o-​

A six-sided die has been rescued from certain destruction at Fifi's fangs. (Yes, she can bite through dice.)

1-2 = Hazō
3-4 = Keiko
5-6 = Noburi

1d6 = 1

"Mari-sensei," Hazō said, "we talked it over and we decided it would be best for just one of us to talk to you on behalf of everyone. We all care about you equally, so I got picked to do it by a fair and impartial process."

"Don't," Mari-sensei said, no longer in a ball but instead leaning back against the cushions as if enervated. "Don't do this to yourself. It's not safe for you to be near me."

They'd all conferred, and everyone had their own contributions to make to the final version of what the group wanted to say.

Keiko. "Mari-sensei, you're not a corrupting influence the way you think. Keiko was… the way she was… long before she met you. It wasn't anything you did. And she was very lucky that she did meet you. Can you imagine what somebody else might have done with all that influence over her? Back when she felt like she had no agency or value, and was just waiting for someone to tell her what to be?"

Hazō had slightly edited the original version, compensating for the way that while Keiko had value coming out of her ears, and definitely more agency than when he'd first met her, her self-image was still a long way from catching up.

"The fact that it could've been even worse doesn't make what I did OK. You three still don't understand what I've done to you."

Himself. "Keiko said you were using us as tools. But I don't feel used, and nor does Noburi, and I don't think Keiko means quite the same thing by being used as you do. All along, we've made our own choices, and everything you've done has only made us happier and safer."

"Of course you don't feel used! That's the point. I'm that good at using people. That's why I can't be around you—because I manipulate you without giving you a chance to resist. Please, Hazō, just go, before I make things worse."

Noburi. "I'm not going anywhere, Mari-sensei. None of us are. We love you, and we're sticking around no matter what. If you're not the avatar of all evil—which you aren't—then you need to fix the way you see yourself until it's right, and we've got your back every step of the way. If you are the avatar of all evil—which you still aren't—then you need to quit it, and we've got your back every step of the way for that as well."

"Why can't you understand?!" Mari-sensei threw up her hands. "I'm not somebody who gets to change. I'm a monster. You 'having my back' is just another way of letting me use you. Do you remember how I got you to take up sealing, even though it's the most dangerous ninja discipline and your only teacher was a half-crazed hermit? Or how I made Keiko fall in love with me and then didn't do anything about it even though I knew how much she was hurting? Or how I basically ignored Noburi just because he wasn't much use to me compared to you two? That's all you'll get from me, no matter what you do."

"Mari-sensei, you didn't get me to take up sealing. That was my own choice as well."

"Of course you think it was. That's what I am. That's what I do. You don't have the training or the experience or the talent to see how cleverly, how heartlessly I've used you."

This was getting nowhere. It was like Mari-sensei was taking everything being her fault as a premise. He couldn't come up with a counterexample because then she'd just say she'd made him think or do it. In its own way, it was staggeringly arrogant.

"I'm not somebody who can think of others," Mari-sensei said. "You think I'm just claiming credit for things you'd have done anyway. Well, I'm not. I spent a lifetime using people in ways that didn't leave them feeling they were better off. What you're feeling now about Akane? Not even a shadow of what I let people feel about me when I abandoned them. I destroyed people's relationships. I corrupted them. I took away the futures they should have had. If you knew, if you really understood what you were dealing with? You'd have taken your chances with Captain Zabuza."

Keiko. "You can't just keep telling us that you using us is proof that you're an awful person, and you being an awful person is proof that you must have been using us. It's a circular argument."

"This isn't an argument at all! You can't logic away something that's true!"

Mari-sensei slid off the bed and stood in front of him. It felt like she was supposed to be intimidating, but somehow she couldn't manage it, and that was frightening in and of itself.

"I don't need proof that I'm an awful person. You think you can argue me out of this? You with your naïve belief in the goodness of human nature?"

Her eyes locked onto his. She waited, as if gathering strength. Then she was a dark mirror to herself, masterful and razor-sharp, but without a shred of playfulness.

"I murdered my uncle, Hazō. He was a helpless civilian and I tortured him to death. Could you do that? Any of you?"

Keiko. No words came.
Noburi. Nothing.
Himself. He was lost.

"I don't regret it for a moment. After what he'd done, he deserved worse. But I didn't do it for justice. I did it because I hated him and I wanted to. If I wanted justice, I'd have gone to the Mizukage. A ninja's word against a civilian's? I doubt there'd have even been a trial. Then the Mizukage would have done the exact same thing, only legally and in public, and every man who'd ever thought of abusing a child would have that sight burned into their memory for the rest of their lives. The world would be a better place.

"It took years before I even realised that had been an option. And years before I thought about what it had meant for my mother. She'd lost her old life when she moved to Mist for my sake. She'd lost me. Her brother was all she had left. I was old enough to be safe from him, and I never asked—never cared—whether he'd ever be a danger to anyone else. I could have let him be. Instead, just like that, I left her alone in the world.

"I was your age when I did it. Could you do the same, right now? Could you torture the man you once saw as a father to death, and destroy your mother's life, just to make yourself feel better about your past? Could you do it without ever once feeling a shred of remorse, for the rest of your life, because the hatred when you think of him doesn't leave room for anything else?"

Hazō tried to imagine what it would take for him to—no, he couldn't imagine hurting Mum like that, much less killing her, no matter what she'd done. His mind didn't work that way. Even in the worst case, if she'd somehow done something that meant he couldn't think of her as his mother anymore… he'd leave. He'd just leave. He couldn't take revenge on what she was to him.

Mari-sensei had.

He'd never understood her implications about the life she'd led in Mist. Abstract hints at seducing people she shouldn't have, or introducing people to vices, or hurting people by being a selfish girlfriend, or whatever it was that she meant by using people… it was like the backstory of a roleplaying character, irrelevant unless something happened that specifically invoked it. Sir Such-and-Such had once been a nobleman until oni sacked his castle, and still had connections with the nobility that he could occasionally draw on. Mari-sensei had once been a bad person, and still had a sadistic, manipulative streak that showed up every once in a while.

But destroying her own family… Murdering and abandoning the people who'd given her life and shaped the core of who she was… Knowing how wrong it was and choosing not to care…

Had he ever truly known who she was?

"Go, Hazō," Mari-sensei said softly. "You don't belong in the same world as me."

Hazō went.

-o-​

You have received 5 XP.

-o-​

You have suddenly remembered that Jiraiya made it clear that any dinner with Sasuke should take place at the compound so it can be supervised by him and/or Mari.

-o-​

With Keiko's aid, you have ordered the crafting of a custom portfolio book from Takane Books, an old-style bookseller accustomed to serving the strange whims of the nobility. Well-known sketch artist Rō Fea has agreed to provide a drawing of Hazō once it is complete, with a small discount for the older brother of the Gōketsu Keiko. You've had no difficulty finding a selection of quality mugs and reliable engravers. Being a nobleman is awesome.

You have some Mist cuisine you bought earlier, along with ingredients and cookbooks. Finding quality cuisine was easy for three Mist natives. You hope that your cooking skills have been sufficient to identify cookbooks that Kagome will actually like, and ingredients of sufficient quality.

-o-​

Thanks to Hazō diving obsessively into his research to repress the conversation he'd just had (which he did not share with Keiko and Noburi beyond a vague "Didn't work"), you have completed the Vibrator Seal ahead of schedule.

You've also observed some secondary effects you may not have originally thought of. Namely, it gets triggered every time anyone within its range emits chakra, including the user, and it is also triggered by any tree or water walking commenced after the seal activates.

Keiko has suggested that you could partially compensate for these secondary effects by improving the seal to respond differently to different intensities of detected chakra emission. This would allow you to make educated guesses as to what abilities your enemies were using (as well as recognise and filter out familiar reactions to your own), and avoid distraction from low-level effects like tree walking without missing them altogether.

-o-​

What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday 20th of October, 9 a.m. New York Time.
 
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