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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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I just had the simultaneously hilarious and saddening thought of him cataloguing his thoughts and feelings while making the day's agenda in his head and setting apart a time slot for a mental breakdown.

e:

Today's Agenda:

7 AM: Breakfast
8 AM: Discuss training with Kagome and Mari
8:30 AM: Personal Training
11 AM: Socialization with the team clan
3 PM: Sealing with Jiraiya
6 PM: Book Club with Shikamaru
7 PM: Mental breakdown while bathing -- note to keep a headbrace ready to prevent drowning
8 PM: Plan for the next day
9 PM: Rounds to make sure the team's okay
10 PM: Get ready for sleep. Have paper ready to distract from nightmares.
 
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faflec said:
@Radvic I'm surprised Hazou's nightmares haven't involved getting caught by Zabuza. You'd think the bogeyman would have deserved at least a mention :p
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Yeah, but Hazou hasn't even seen Zabuza. I just took a bunch of in story scenes we easily could have died in and modified those slightly. Zabuza catching us would be something entirely different. I suppose I could have started with one where the Black Hunter was Zabuza instead of Kagome, or Yujin was Zabuza instead of Jiraiya. Would have messed with the flow though.
 
Radvic said:
Yeah, but Hazou hasn't even seen Zabuza. I just took a bunch of in story scenes we easily could have died in and modified those slightly. Zabuza catching us would be something entirely different. I suppose I could have started with one where the Black Hunter was Zabuza instead of Kagome, or Yujin was Zabuza instead of Jiraiya. Would have messed with the flow though.
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Velorien said:
Then he was there.

Captain Momochi Zabuza stood across their only path of escape, a sword of legend on his back and killing intent coming off him in waves. One look at him told Hazō everything. This man was death. Implacable. Inescapable. Inevitable. And finally here.

Captain Zabuza didn't even bother drawing the sword (not that he needed to, not against mere genin). Instead, he slowly pointed at the ground in front of him with his left hand, as if indicating where they should kneel. "One clean stroke."
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It was a genjutsu but it should be reasonably accurate.
 
faflec said:
It was a genjutsu but it should be reasonably accurate.
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Fair. That said, the way I wrote this was just outline a bunch of near death experiences we had, then narrate them. I totally missed tons of them. Non-inclusive list of things I didn't include:
  • Gator fight in swamp
  • Steelback fights
  • Staying in Swamp
  • Snake eating someone while we were on watch
  • Being caught by a border patrol
  • Mosquitoe beasts at Kagome's village
  • Chakra Voles
  • Kagome accidentally or purposfully killing us while we tried to recruit him
  • Genin Noburi scared off in Iron
  • Sensei of genin Noburi scared off in Iron
  • Taijutsu practice in Liberator village
  • Mari's opponent coming back and killing us
  • Leaf's border patrol Inoue killed
  • Rain
  • Megaledon while traveling to Tea
  • Training excercises in Mountain
  • Keiko dying to summon scroll trials
  • Whatever occupied our fort in Tea
  • Leaf finding us while Keiko was being angstier
  • Jiraiya just killing us on sight in meeting post Hot Springs
  • Mayor having Inoue killed
  • Neji and/or team Gai killing us in training
  • Jiraiya killing us in the killbox
  • Dying of cold in Snow
  • Skysquid releasing lupchanz and killing us in the sky
 
Radvic said:
Fair. That said, the way I wrote this was just outline a bunch of near death experiences we had, then narrate them. I totally missed tons of them. Non-inclusive list of things I didn't include:
  • Gator fight in swamp
  • Steelback fights
  • Staying in Swamp
  • Snake eating someone while we were on watch
  • Being caught by a border patrol
  • Mosquitoe beasts at Kagome's village
  • Chakra Voles
  • Kagome accidentally or purposfully killing us while we tried to recruit him
  • Genin Noburi scared off in Iron
  • Sensei of genin Noburi scared off in Iron
  • Taijutsu practice in Liberator village
  • Mari's opponent coming back and killing us
  • Leaf's border patrol Inoue killed
  • Rain
  • Megaledon while traveling to Tea
  • Training excercises in Mountain
  • Keiko dying to summon scroll trials
  • Whatever occupied our fort in Tea
  • Leaf finding us while Keiko was being angstier
  • Jiraiya just killing us on sight in meeting post Hot Springs
  • Mayor having Inoue killed
  • Neji and/or team Gai killing us in training
  • Jiraiya killing us in the killbox
  • Dying of cold in Snow
  • Skysquid releasing lupchanz and killing us in the sky
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doooooooooo iiittttttttt

the power of the omake compels youuuuuuu
 
Radvic said:
Fair. That said, the way I wrote this was just outline a bunch of near death experiences we had, then narrate them. I totally missed tons of them. Non-inclusive list of things I didn't include:
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To be fair though, half of that list was before we met Akane, and the other half would be a lot quicker to end - we'd just die. Maybe the lupchanz would be interesting
 
Cariyaga said:
Get voice to text so you can write while you drive!!! :p
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I tried that a month ago. Too much ambient noise and means I can't listen to music and drive (also is a little more distracting than I'm comfortable with).

faflec said:
Or let the kids do it while you write! Much safer since you don't have to multitask!

:D
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Step 1: kidnap children
Step 2: give them keys to my car
Step 3: profit

I see no possibilities for error here :p
 
faflec said:
I thought you were camping with kids?

Wait...did you kidnap those kids too?
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Lol. That was, like, a week and a half? ago. I'm 6 visits, 4 states, and 1000 miles from then.

Very Late Edit: Though at one point I did make a wrong turn while taking the 11 year old somewhere and told him we were going to Mexico?
 
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faflec said:
Easy for you to say when you don't have bullshit ninja magic keeping you limber.

If I had super ninja powers, man fuck it I'd run places all the fucking time. Take the car only when I'm going with friends or whatever.
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Running: It's useful for training no matter if you're in the real world or in a kungfu battlewizard setting!
 
faflec said:
Easy for you to say when you don't have bullshit ninja magic keeping you limber.

If I had super ninja powers, man fuck it I'd run places all the fucking time. Take the car only when I'm going with friends or whatever.
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Eh, ninjas only run 2-3 times as fast as a normal person, so it would still be a big time sink if you needed to go anywhere far. It'd triple the range I'd be willing to walk for casual stuff I guess, but that's only like a mile or two as it is for me.


...American cities are spread out, sheesh.
 
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