Inator-man: Into the Doofenverse.
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DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- USA
We should send Technor to meet with Shego next turn.
It could be its own kind of psychoanalysis!
A much subtler kind, of course.
Plus, he was part of the heist team that according to her PoV in the Heist quest, impressed her with their professionalism.
And Mirage... was Syndrome's right hand man hunting supers for years. I would rather not risk sending her to meet with Shego when he have someone like Technor who is just as professional but without any baggage.
And they can bond over their mutual hatred of annoying children/siblings!
It could be its own kind of psychoanalysis!
A much subtler kind, of course.
Plus, he was part of the heist team that according to her PoV in the Heist quest, impressed her with their professionalism.
And Mirage... was Syndrome's right hand man hunting supers for years. I would rather not risk sending her to meet with Shego when he have someone like Technor who is just as professional but without any baggage.
And they can bond over their mutual hatred of annoying children/siblings!
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- Location
- Pennsylvania
None of your heroes are in a mental state where they'd break down immediately without psychotherapy, so don't be afraid to put Technor on some other things.
AProcrastinator
You can Certainly Try
- Location
- Getting Somewhere
- Pronouns
- She/Hers
*looks at Mirage having to deal with her fellow employees every day*
Are we sure
infinityDivided
Prince Of Doom
- Location
- USA
Ehh, she'll be fine for a few months.
Or in other words, a single turn. Then it's back to the therapy!
Mattman324
you expected some anime, non-IRL giant robot, eh?
- Location
- Working in the basement on my giant robot.
Clearly the solution to the problem of "spends too much time around TECHNOR, THE MECHANICAL MAN" is to make them spend more time around TECHNOR, THE MECHANICAL MAN.
ExNihilo
SPACE!
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
She's got a Tolerance for Nonsense Medium and no one here is championing appliance rights unironically (I could see Janna doing it for a lark) she should be fine.
- Location
- being near locations is my passion.
An image is worth a thousand words, and 'meme' is a subset of the concept of 'sign' - there is a lot of information in an image, distilled through the perspective of an individual viewing said image.
"bizarre incongruity" in this context looks to me as'incoherence'.
And sure, you might find that funny. If so, I am glad for you - I am in the mindset that finds this incongruity to be noise-ish. I say I am glad, but honestly; I am feeling a bit of jealousy also.
My point is that memes are essays, albeit condensed ones... or essays are a series of memes. Either/or, depending one one's starting point.
To try and be more clear: "meme != essay" is (in this context) incorrect.
But it's just SO damn useful to have him be the Therapist of our crazy Band of Misfits...
KitRougard
Blatant furry. Deal with it.
- Location
- wherever I feel like~
- Pronouns
- He/She
Us: Technor is love, his therapy is all encompassing
MiH, knowing full well he's just a background character everyone dislikes: You weren't supposed to do that.
MiH, knowing full well he's just a background character everyone dislikes: You weren't supposed to do that.
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
I think the underlying argument is something like:
"Your nihliism is ultimately self-referential; the only thing you really know is that you, yourself, are experiencing your reality. Now, are you going to struggle to achieve things within your own lived experience, or are you going to give up and do nothing, in a lowly and ignoble manner, because of your own belief that you are made of atoms?"
But that wouldn't fit in the space available.
It's funny, but it's also a useful way to draw attention to things that are low-hanging fruit from the perspective of the other Kings. "Buy some guns and dynamite" is pretty easy for Toffee given that he has the wealth to even make his megacorp be a thing, so we shouldn't assume he is unaware of these things or doesn't have them.
I think he'd actually be reconstructing his Magna-Body from Teamo Supremo. But, uh...
I don't think Juniper will be able to fully remove Technor's malus. If it were that easy, Technor would have done just about anything to keep Juniper around, and Juniper's been relatively free-roaming instead.
Technor's power hunger is measured in gigawatts, or at least triple digit megawatts. Juniper's electrokinesis is well and good, but unless she's packing a power to put Shego to shame, it's not that powerful.
So far, of the three ghosts we've successfully contacted or interacted with (Celena, Felldrake, Malifishmertz) all were very powerful magicians. I don't think we should assume we can conjure the ghost of Scrooge McDuck. For that matter, he may not be dead; it's entirely possible Glomgold kept him alive to gloat.
Yeah. Shego may not know Mirage is working for us, and she probably doesn't know everything Mirage has done, but she probably knows who Mirage is.
The problem is Technor's malus... but Technor's base, low-energy Diplomacy is still as good as, say, Vanessa's... and we were seriously considering putting her on that action.
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Also those were all by accident or by their own power. We didn't summon Mal, he summoned himself and gave us a ring we can use to summon him, that he made.
- Location
- Great Khanate of Scotland
- Pronouns
- She/Her
On that note, I'm starting to wonder what Heroes the other Kings have at their disposal. We know about the Hawk and Kalabar, at the very least, but who do you think Xanatos has running interference for him? Does Shego have any Occult Heroes? What does Shere Khan's roster look like? And so on.
These questions don't have any obvious answers (and may not have answers at all - if the QM and team have fleshed out the other - courts, let us say, I'd be crazy impressed). It's just something to think about. We're not just dealing with the other Kings, but whoever they can get to cover their bases as well.
These questions don't have any obvious answers (and may not have answers at all - if the QM and team have fleshed out the other - courts, let us say, I'd be crazy impressed). It's just something to think about. We're not just dealing with the other Kings, but whoever they can get to cover their bases as well.
weredrago2
"Cowabunga, Shadow the Hedgehog..."
- Location
- Florida
The first part of Xanadu is done and being edited as we speak. It should be up tonight.
Several groups already have heroes and you don't know them! Feel free to be impressed at any time.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
He's significantly better than that. Counting loyalty, he rolls 26 diplomacy, which is near our absolute best; just one less than Mirage, for instance. The issue is that a) his personal action is something we prioritize over most of our other personal actions, so there's opportunity cost to assigning him rather than the other heroes to a national action, and we just recruited 2 more diplo heroes and aren't planning to send any of them on quests next turn, so there's less need. Prior to now we didn't have 2 diplo heroes, yes, but we only just recently got a second action, so there was only a 2 turn gap where he was our best option, and it is no longer the case.
Interlude: You Made Me Love Xanadu- Across the Border
- Location
- Pennsylvania
You are Temujin reborn. As you stride across the steppes of your ancestral home, you think upon the now-ancient realm you forged from it, and you think upon what became of it. Your knowledge of the centuries past your death are vague, but you know enough. Succession, conflict, infighting. The fate of all great conquests, it seems. At the very least your heartland still stands unbroken and proud, if diminished. Your grandson's Summer Court lies in the hands of the Jin, or some descendant. An entire city, capital of an empire, your empire, raised and ruined in the years before your return. You know this place. Xanadu… and the beings within it. You find yourself wondering if the witch-girl's staff is referring to the same.
"Honestly, this right here is the reason that I'd be better off ruling the universe. Do you people have any idea how much is wrong with the world right now? You've got a Gordian Knot's worth of paradoxes pretending to be a timeline and at least one interdimensional conqueror just waiting for the chance to strike."
The staff whines in its acerbic voice as you travel, the purple gems in its eyes flashing in time with each syllable.
"So you're telling me that you don't wanna conquer the world anymore?" the witch-girl asks, looking rather amused by the thought.
"Are you kidding? If I took a stab at it now I'd have so many problems to deal with! If there's one thing I hate its competition. No, what's going to happen is I'll wait another ten thousand years for this all to sort itself out and then take another stab at it. It's not like I'm going to die of old age."
The witch-girl has proven herself to be an odd yet reliable companion of your descendant. Her conviction is admirable, though she hides it behind a veneer of disinterest and bad jokes. She neglected to share all the details on her quarry, but you have to admit that making plans to face down an immortal and infinitely more powerful opponent is worthy of some respect.
Your tutor is coming along too, a decision that you might've had second thoughts about months ago, but now welcome. She has her eccentricities, but she's one of the most knowledgeable people you know when it comes to the modern world. Her knowledge of the time you lived in often seems to rival your own.
The member you're not so sure of is the son of your descendant's diplomat. He… doesn't seem to contribute very much to your group of warriors. He's neither particularly strong nor intelligent, and in all honesty, he doesn't even seem to be eager to travel. You can hope that his complaints about the 'trip to Peru' die down soon, or else you might have to reconsider your time in the whale as your most unpleasant voyage.
"Please tell me that you didn't spike the place with magic traps again?" he asks of the staff.
"Tell you the truth, I never actually made it to Xanadu. It was firmly on my 'to-do' list before everything went belly up and I got trapped in here."
"Oh, great. So we're going in blind, and the last person to see this saw it back in… what, the 700s or something?"
"1369! My boy, Xanadu iz a famous arkeological site! For shame! Vy, you could hardly discern between a mameluk und a eunuch!"
"...What's the difference?"
"Pray you nevah find out!"
"It's not my fault I got expelled from college! Bradley was the one that bombed that blimp and got us all kicked out!"
"Oh, and you were studying heestory zen I take it?"
"I was studying English, but I'm sure we would've got there eventually!"
You hold up a hand to stop the squabbling as you investigate the mountain pass standing before you. For the past four days you've been hiking through the Chinese wilderness, staying well off the beaten trail to avoid any unwanted attention from the authorities, much to Max's chagrin.
If there is anything special your descendant sees about this young man, then he neglected to inform you what that notable quality was. Hopefully his presence will not be too grating as you approach the ancient site.
Stewardship Check: Navigate the mountain pass!
DC 80 needed: 86+22+14+7+20 (Past Experience)=149
Spectacular Success!
The mountains have changed very little over the centuries, but that doesn't diminish the hazard that they pose to the rest of your group. You're certain that none of the others have experience with harsh mountain terrain, so it's going to be your responsibility to make sure all of them survive.
Max is not thrilled with these latest developments. You can hear him muttering under his breath about how this new trip might be a contender for the worst he's ever been on. Honestly, you're not sure what he's complaining about- you haven't even been shot at once since you arrived!
Very little of note happens over the next four hours as you lead the others down narrow mountain passes, across natural rock formations and down heavily disused trails, all in the middle of a fierce blizzard. You and Professor Von Drake have prepared for the cold weather accordingly, and even though he's bundled up to his neck in a fur coat, Max looks miserable. Janna maintains a neutral expression even as the wind whips around her, most likely due to some sorcery from the duck-staff. She gives the chimera she's riding on a scratch behind the ears.
"I thought you said this place was well known!" Max calls out. You can barely hear him over the wind.
"Ve are not going to Kublai's Summer court. Zat is not ze true Xanadu."
"Yeah, come on. That's a rookie mistake." Janna comments. "Obviously the place shrouded in myth and legend isn't going to be the one on the historical records. People in charge have a nasty habit of wanting to hush things up, and that makes it a lot harder to keep things straight."
"Lousy… adventuring… Mongolian mountains…" Max grumbles to himself under his breath. You roll your eyes, preparing to make a comment on his poor attitude when you're cut off by a hysterical shrieking noise that doesn't issue from the third wheel trailing behind you.
Around the next corner is probably the oddest thing you've seen since this journey started.
A… gobi desert bear, if you're not wrong, is clawing at the trunk of a withered, leafless tree, trying its best to get at the two doglike creatures called toons hanging on to the branches for dear life. Both are wearing heavy winter gear. One of them looks pretty unconcerned while the other is screaming his head off, babbling out desperate pleas to anyone that can hear him.
"Help! Help! It's going to eat us, you imbecile! Fire the flare gun!"
"No!" the other one hollers. "That's a Gobi Desert bear! They're critically endangered!"
"We're going to be extinct if you don't take the shot!"
"Destroying one of these would be an even bigger crime than the time you set the map to the Saltlantis on fire!"
"That was an accident, you moron! I could've sold that thing for over twenty-three million!"
"Wait a second…" Max says from behind you. Then he calls out to one of them. "Uncle Arizona?!? What the hell are you doing up here?"
The one who's not screaming his head off, one Arizona Goof, waves. Now that he's facing in your direction, you see the resemblance. The Toon looks nearly identical to Goofy. Almost exactly identical, if he wasn't wearing a giant brown hat to distinguish himself with.
"Hiya, Maxie! I dunno what you're doin' out here either, but it's great to see a friendly face!"
"WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE AND YOU'RE CHATTING UP THE TOURISTS?!"
The bear turns to look at you. Max screams as the bear turns to face your group.
"If you scream at it it just makes you a bigger target!" Felldrake helpfully provides. "So quit your whining and keep your head down! Janna!"
"Already on it." The witch-girl grins cockily and the creature she's riding starts to gallop forward.
Martial Check: Drive the desert bear off!
DC 80 needed: 71+55+10+12+7+7=162
Critical Success!
The bear charges across the snow as a shimmering purple barrier appears in front of it! The ursine menace smacks into an arcane barrier that materializes midair and falls back onto the ground, looking stunned. It growls a few more times, pawing at the strange materialization and roaring its defiance to the world. Janna has a huge smile on her face as Von Drake rushes forward to take a closer look at the creature.
"Gawrsh! You managed to trap that little feller pretty good! Now we don't have to scare him off!"
"Scare him off? SCARE HIM OFF?! HE WAS GOING TO EAT US!" the other toon screams at the first. Unlike Arizona, this man has a more human face with bright red hair, a dog nose, and glasses. He goes on ranting and raving for a full two minutes, long after your patience has run out. You walk over to him very calmly and place a hand on his shoulder.
"AND FURTHERMORE, I- oooooh. I apologize, my good fellow." With a fake smile the toon instantly switches gears to become as appeasing as possible. Inwardly, you reflect that you've seen it dozens of times before, though at least it stopped his incessant complaining.
"Uncle ArizonAAAAH!" Max screams as the bear roars at him from behind the barrier. "What are you doing here?!"
"I was just following a lead on one of the Shengxiao talismans of the Chan Dynasty!"
"The Sheng-who what?"
Occult Check: Do you recognize the Sheng-who what?
DC 100 needed: 77+7+15+12+5=116
Bare Success
"A set of twelve talismans created by an ancient Chinese sorcerer," Felldrake explains. "Each talisman is themed to an animal on the Chinese Zodiac and grants its wielder a specific power. Definitely makes my top fifteen list of magical artifacts I want to get my hands on. I think I might have one lying around in one of my temples somewhere."
"Yes," you say simply. "There was never proof that the legends were true, but such was the tale even in my time."
---
HIDDEN STAT REVEALED
Taking Temujin on a quest to examine the mystical ties of his homeland has revealed his own Occult stat! He has an Occult rating of 7.
---
The other toon opens his mouth to object, holding his finger up for a second, then trails off without saying anything at all. "It would be hypocritical even for me to say that magic didn't exist."
"And who's this? The only other sensible person in the… Himalayas?"
Von Drake, Arizona, and the other man look on Max with identical expressions of disbelief on their faces before critiquing his lack of knowledge on geography in rapid, overlapping voices that you have a hard time separating. Suffice to say that you are not in the Himalayas, and your teacher is most disappointed that anyone would ever think Xanadu was in the Himalayas.
"Ve flew in through Beijing boy! Vat, you think zat Asia is a theme park you walk one end to ze uddah in an aftanoon?" Von Drake starts to rant before she's cut off by Arizona Goof.
"Naw, this here's my nemesis, Dr. Kranz!"
"...and here I thought he was the sensible one."
"What my rival archaeologist means to say is that we are often competitors in the field."
Max sighs in apparent relief at this clarification.
"So what're you doing out here, Maxie? It's a long way from Spoonerville!"
"Well, my crazy evil pharmacist boss said that I needed to come on this mission with the resurrected Genghis Khan and the actual real-life witch girl who has a talking warlock staff to try and uncover some ancient secret something-or-other so he can go to a crazy evil magic auction next month."
"Oh, well that makes sense."
"No it doesn't!"
Before this can start up another round of squabbling, you interject. "Enough. Zere is a storm coming. We had best continue forward." Looking out over the mountain peaks that surround you, thick grey clouds are blowing in, heralding the arrival of an even more terrible snowstorm. You are confident that if you press onward you can make it through without worrying, and even if some problems arise, surely the witch-girl can magick up a solution.
---
Even you are forced to admit that the conditions are less than ideal. The swirling snow makes it impossible to see further than a few feet in front of you, and to make matters worse, now you've got two extra people to look out for.
"H-h-h-h-how m-m-much l-l-longer?!" Max shudders. You're nearly certain that he's exaggerating how cold he actually is since no one else is complaining, not even the boy's uncle or his-
"Where did that other archaeologist get off to now?"
"Don't worry about Dr. Kranz," Arizona Goof says. "This little flurry is nothing compared to that time we got stranded on Mount Everest for three weeks straight. Ever since then he's always carried a self-heating tent with him! Just you watch, once all this passes he'll be right as rain, sitting around a fire and eating canned hamburgers."
Well, that seems logical enough to you. No sense in wasting time looking for him if he'll be fine anyway.
Max screams.
Before you can open your mouth to tell him to shut his, the witch-girl gasps too. The reason for her surprise immediately becomes clear as you survey the mountain pass. Dozens of ghostly eyes, shining red or white even through the fierce winds, dart about as if possessed, while an unearthly cacophony of bestial shrieks and howls echoes around you. Terrible, screeching voices beseech you to turn back, warning you that you shall go no further.
The mountain spirits have arrived.
---
What will you do?
[ ] Diplomacy: You did not come here to fight. The mountain spirits can be appeased with clear words and signs of respect.
[ ] Combat: Your goal is to reach Xanadu, and you will not be persuaded otherwise. Fight them off if you must to reach the mountain domain.
[ ] Retreat: The spirits and beasts outnumber your scouting party. Turn back now and return another day with reinforcements.
There will be a two hour moratorium on voting.
"Honestly, this right here is the reason that I'd be better off ruling the universe. Do you people have any idea how much is wrong with the world right now? You've got a Gordian Knot's worth of paradoxes pretending to be a timeline and at least one interdimensional conqueror just waiting for the chance to strike."
The staff whines in its acerbic voice as you travel, the purple gems in its eyes flashing in time with each syllable.
"So you're telling me that you don't wanna conquer the world anymore?" the witch-girl asks, looking rather amused by the thought.
"Are you kidding? If I took a stab at it now I'd have so many problems to deal with! If there's one thing I hate its competition. No, what's going to happen is I'll wait another ten thousand years for this all to sort itself out and then take another stab at it. It's not like I'm going to die of old age."
The witch-girl has proven herself to be an odd yet reliable companion of your descendant. Her conviction is admirable, though she hides it behind a veneer of disinterest and bad jokes. She neglected to share all the details on her quarry, but you have to admit that making plans to face down an immortal and infinitely more powerful opponent is worthy of some respect.
Your tutor is coming along too, a decision that you might've had second thoughts about months ago, but now welcome. She has her eccentricities, but she's one of the most knowledgeable people you know when it comes to the modern world. Her knowledge of the time you lived in often seems to rival your own.
The member you're not so sure of is the son of your descendant's diplomat. He… doesn't seem to contribute very much to your group of warriors. He's neither particularly strong nor intelligent, and in all honesty, he doesn't even seem to be eager to travel. You can hope that his complaints about the 'trip to Peru' die down soon, or else you might have to reconsider your time in the whale as your most unpleasant voyage.
"Please tell me that you didn't spike the place with magic traps again?" he asks of the staff.
"Tell you the truth, I never actually made it to Xanadu. It was firmly on my 'to-do' list before everything went belly up and I got trapped in here."
"Oh, great. So we're going in blind, and the last person to see this saw it back in… what, the 700s or something?"
"1369! My boy, Xanadu iz a famous arkeological site! For shame! Vy, you could hardly discern between a mameluk und a eunuch!"
"...What's the difference?"
"Pray you nevah find out!"
"It's not my fault I got expelled from college! Bradley was the one that bombed that blimp and got us all kicked out!"
"Oh, and you were studying heestory zen I take it?"
"I was studying English, but I'm sure we would've got there eventually!"
You hold up a hand to stop the squabbling as you investigate the mountain pass standing before you. For the past four days you've been hiking through the Chinese wilderness, staying well off the beaten trail to avoid any unwanted attention from the authorities, much to Max's chagrin.
If there is anything special your descendant sees about this young man, then he neglected to inform you what that notable quality was. Hopefully his presence will not be too grating as you approach the ancient site.
Stewardship Check: Navigate the mountain pass!
DC 80 needed: 86+22+14+7+20 (Past Experience)=149
Spectacular Success!
The mountains have changed very little over the centuries, but that doesn't diminish the hazard that they pose to the rest of your group. You're certain that none of the others have experience with harsh mountain terrain, so it's going to be your responsibility to make sure all of them survive.
Max is not thrilled with these latest developments. You can hear him muttering under his breath about how this new trip might be a contender for the worst he's ever been on. Honestly, you're not sure what he's complaining about- you haven't even been shot at once since you arrived!
Very little of note happens over the next four hours as you lead the others down narrow mountain passes, across natural rock formations and down heavily disused trails, all in the middle of a fierce blizzard. You and Professor Von Drake have prepared for the cold weather accordingly, and even though he's bundled up to his neck in a fur coat, Max looks miserable. Janna maintains a neutral expression even as the wind whips around her, most likely due to some sorcery from the duck-staff. She gives the chimera she's riding on a scratch behind the ears.
"I thought you said this place was well known!" Max calls out. You can barely hear him over the wind.
"Ve are not going to Kublai's Summer court. Zat is not ze true Xanadu."
"Yeah, come on. That's a rookie mistake." Janna comments. "Obviously the place shrouded in myth and legend isn't going to be the one on the historical records. People in charge have a nasty habit of wanting to hush things up, and that makes it a lot harder to keep things straight."
"Lousy… adventuring… Mongolian mountains…" Max grumbles to himself under his breath. You roll your eyes, preparing to make a comment on his poor attitude when you're cut off by a hysterical shrieking noise that doesn't issue from the third wheel trailing behind you.
Around the next corner is probably the oddest thing you've seen since this journey started.
A… gobi desert bear, if you're not wrong, is clawing at the trunk of a withered, leafless tree, trying its best to get at the two doglike creatures called toons hanging on to the branches for dear life. Both are wearing heavy winter gear. One of them looks pretty unconcerned while the other is screaming his head off, babbling out desperate pleas to anyone that can hear him.
"Help! Help! It's going to eat us, you imbecile! Fire the flare gun!"
"No!" the other one hollers. "That's a Gobi Desert bear! They're critically endangered!"
"We're going to be extinct if you don't take the shot!"
"Destroying one of these would be an even bigger crime than the time you set the map to the Saltlantis on fire!"
"That was an accident, you moron! I could've sold that thing for over twenty-three million!"
"Wait a second…" Max says from behind you. Then he calls out to one of them. "Uncle Arizona?!? What the hell are you doing up here?"
The one who's not screaming his head off, one Arizona Goof, waves. Now that he's facing in your direction, you see the resemblance. The Toon looks nearly identical to Goofy. Almost exactly identical, if he wasn't wearing a giant brown hat to distinguish himself with.
"Hiya, Maxie! I dunno what you're doin' out here either, but it's great to see a friendly face!"
"WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE AND YOU'RE CHATTING UP THE TOURISTS?!"
The bear turns to look at you. Max screams as the bear turns to face your group.
"If you scream at it it just makes you a bigger target!" Felldrake helpfully provides. "So quit your whining and keep your head down! Janna!"
"Already on it." The witch-girl grins cockily and the creature she's riding starts to gallop forward.
Martial Check: Drive the desert bear off!
DC 80 needed: 71+55+10+12+7+7=162
Critical Success!
The bear charges across the snow as a shimmering purple barrier appears in front of it! The ursine menace smacks into an arcane barrier that materializes midair and falls back onto the ground, looking stunned. It growls a few more times, pawing at the strange materialization and roaring its defiance to the world. Janna has a huge smile on her face as Von Drake rushes forward to take a closer look at the creature.
"Gawrsh! You managed to trap that little feller pretty good! Now we don't have to scare him off!"
"Scare him off? SCARE HIM OFF?! HE WAS GOING TO EAT US!" the other toon screams at the first. Unlike Arizona, this man has a more human face with bright red hair, a dog nose, and glasses. He goes on ranting and raving for a full two minutes, long after your patience has run out. You walk over to him very calmly and place a hand on his shoulder.
"AND FURTHERMORE, I- oooooh. I apologize, my good fellow." With a fake smile the toon instantly switches gears to become as appeasing as possible. Inwardly, you reflect that you've seen it dozens of times before, though at least it stopped his incessant complaining.
"Uncle ArizonAAAAH!" Max screams as the bear roars at him from behind the barrier. "What are you doing here?!"
"I was just following a lead on one of the Shengxiao talismans of the Chan Dynasty!"
"The Sheng-who what?"
Occult Check: Do you recognize the Sheng-who what?
DC 100 needed: 77+7+15+12+5=116
Bare Success
"A set of twelve talismans created by an ancient Chinese sorcerer," Felldrake explains. "Each talisman is themed to an animal on the Chinese Zodiac and grants its wielder a specific power. Definitely makes my top fifteen list of magical artifacts I want to get my hands on. I think I might have one lying around in one of my temples somewhere."
"Yes," you say simply. "There was never proof that the legends were true, but such was the tale even in my time."
---
HIDDEN STAT REVEALED
Taking Temujin on a quest to examine the mystical ties of his homeland has revealed his own Occult stat! He has an Occult rating of 7.
---
The other toon opens his mouth to object, holding his finger up for a second, then trails off without saying anything at all. "It would be hypocritical even for me to say that magic didn't exist."
"And who's this? The only other sensible person in the… Himalayas?"
Von Drake, Arizona, and the other man look on Max with identical expressions of disbelief on their faces before critiquing his lack of knowledge on geography in rapid, overlapping voices that you have a hard time separating. Suffice to say that you are not in the Himalayas, and your teacher is most disappointed that anyone would ever think Xanadu was in the Himalayas.
"Ve flew in through Beijing boy! Vat, you think zat Asia is a theme park you walk one end to ze uddah in an aftanoon?" Von Drake starts to rant before she's cut off by Arizona Goof.
"Naw, this here's my nemesis, Dr. Kranz!"
"...and here I thought he was the sensible one."
"What my rival archaeologist means to say is that we are often competitors in the field."
Max sighs in apparent relief at this clarification.
"So what're you doing out here, Maxie? It's a long way from Spoonerville!"
"Well, my crazy evil pharmacist boss said that I needed to come on this mission with the resurrected Genghis Khan and the actual real-life witch girl who has a talking warlock staff to try and uncover some ancient secret something-or-other so he can go to a crazy evil magic auction next month."
"Oh, well that makes sense."
"No it doesn't!"
Before this can start up another round of squabbling, you interject. "Enough. Zere is a storm coming. We had best continue forward." Looking out over the mountain peaks that surround you, thick grey clouds are blowing in, heralding the arrival of an even more terrible snowstorm. You are confident that if you press onward you can make it through without worrying, and even if some problems arise, surely the witch-girl can magick up a solution.
---
Even you are forced to admit that the conditions are less than ideal. The swirling snow makes it impossible to see further than a few feet in front of you, and to make matters worse, now you've got two extra people to look out for.
"H-h-h-h-how m-m-much l-l-longer?!" Max shudders. You're nearly certain that he's exaggerating how cold he actually is since no one else is complaining, not even the boy's uncle or his-
"Where did that other archaeologist get off to now?"
"Don't worry about Dr. Kranz," Arizona Goof says. "This little flurry is nothing compared to that time we got stranded on Mount Everest for three weeks straight. Ever since then he's always carried a self-heating tent with him! Just you watch, once all this passes he'll be right as rain, sitting around a fire and eating canned hamburgers."
Well, that seems logical enough to you. No sense in wasting time looking for him if he'll be fine anyway.
Max screams.
Before you can open your mouth to tell him to shut his, the witch-girl gasps too. The reason for her surprise immediately becomes clear as you survey the mountain pass. Dozens of ghostly eyes, shining red or white even through the fierce winds, dart about as if possessed, while an unearthly cacophony of bestial shrieks and howls echoes around you. Terrible, screeching voices beseech you to turn back, warning you that you shall go no further.
The mountain spirits have arrived.
---
What will you do?
[ ] Diplomacy: You did not come here to fight. The mountain spirits can be appeased with clear words and signs of respect.
[ ] Combat: Your goal is to reach Xanadu, and you will not be persuaded otherwise. Fight them off if you must to reach the mountain domain.
[ ] Retreat: The spirits and beasts outnumber your scouting party. Turn back now and return another day with reinforcements.
There will be a two hour moratorium on voting.
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- Location
- Great Khanate of Scotland
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Hats off to you, then! I shouldn't have doubted that this Quest was in capable hands.
EDIT: UPDATE! DAMMIT, TOBE
- Location
- being near locations is my passion.
Bluntly; my position is this:
Therapy for everyone who wants it. Available forever.
Mental health and wellbeing is something that takes work.
Basically you have given your SV questors a "spend a Technor action to try to help this person (in a long-term kind of way)"
The problem is that you are a fantastic writer. And (for me at least) I want to engage with media which communicates stories of personal growth, self actualisation and compassion.
"If you press this button, a character engages with a healing process, but after the third press, the QM starts to want to explore and develop the therapist charterer further in depth - which is fine.... except that it feels unlike hammering the "help people" button"
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I'm going to subscribe to the same line of thought that I had for Blue Hawaii: Let's try to talk it out before devolving into fights.
What was the team's Diplo stat again?
What was the team's Diplo stat again?
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ExNihilo
SPACE!
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Neat. Also, poor Max.
- Location
- Landland USA
Diplomacy seems like the best option. Fighting them off would be easier, but could have consequences down the line.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
It doesn't mattter at all, but I think there's another +5 here from doof troop.
Leaning this. We have a *very* solid 55+10+12+7+7+5=96 martial bonus here, but only 15+20+7=42 Diplomacy.
42, counting the PMC.
- Location
- Wherever I feel like being
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Welp, looks like Shendu got up to some shenanigans here too.
Nix's Warden
Welcome to Hades
- Location
- United States
Well Diplomacy isn't the strong suit of this party, but honestly trying to combat dozens of mountain spirits in the middle of a blizzard sounds like a terrible idea, and no way am I gunna vote we retreat.
- Location
- Somewhere
Huh. Felldrake knows about the paradoxes. That's... interesting...