The laboratory halfway up DEI headquarters, formerly the workplace of LOVEMUFFIN, lit up with a dazzling array of brightly colored lights for the first time since its former owners had vacated. The place was practically sterile, very little on the walls save for a few antiquated anatomy posters, and nothing in the way of decorations, but it still looked lived in enough that one could call it 'homey'. The mugs of coffee and half-eaten sandwiches, strewn across the lab benches in defiance of most biosafety protocols, were sign enough of that.
"Ahhhh, Janus! Come come come! Is wonderful to be seeing you!" Jumba said, as if the two had not last spoken at breakfast that morning.
"Is it finished? It's been so long since the last time you made one, I've forgotten how quickly you work!" Janus Lee had a foreign expression of excitement on his face, something most of his coworkers had never before seen.
"Is power of inspiration! Big city destruction is well and good, but sometimes truly despicable idea will be coming to you out of nowhere. Like phone, for instance!" Jumba brandished the latest ENCOM model. "Now most of time, phone is very accommodating for fingers. But on occasion… autocorrect is most despicable. Like other day in which proclamation of new genetic abominations is corrected to generic! Bah. Nearly losing evil villain cred for that one."
"So you've created a living autocorrect?" Janus raised an eyebrow, long since having learned that Jumba was able to stretch the bounds of what he had previously considered reasonable science. "What's the catch?" he asked wryly. "Because that almost sounds like a good thing."
"Autocorrect? Autocorrect?!" Jumba cackled madly, a deep bassy trump that shook the room's vials. With a grand gesture, he threw open the doors to the specimen room. "No Janus. I have invented an Autoincorrect! Behold, Experiment 103-E!"
Sitting on a small perch in the center of the vast specimen tube was an avian creature slightly smaller than Jumba's usual creations. It had yellowish plumage, except for two orange tufts on the side of its head, a large cream colored beak, and a massive pointed protuberance almost as long as the Experiment itself coming out of its head like a conical hat. Its bulbous eyes were lazy and unfocused.
Jumba smiled at it. "Go on, say something."
Janus opened his mouth to speak, and the bird's unfocused eyes turned in his direction.
"I'd like to see it tfry."
On a plane of existence as much metaphor as it was real, unseen to both of the scientists, the world shifted in a kaleidoscope of color. The experiment pulled out a glowing quill and delicately struck through the first letter of Janus' last word, writing another in its place.
"What?!?!" Jumba roared. "What do you mean, 'fry', you will not touch my-" He stepped short, and slowly began to smile. "Ah, oh, aheheheheheHAHA! Very clever, 103-E!"
The birdlike experiment slowly blinked in response.
Janus massaged his throat, confused at the word that had exited it.
Jumba returned immediately to his boasting. "Experiment 103-E can flawlessly change any singular phoneme in target's speech retroactively, as if never occurring! Nearly undetectable effect and benign appearance-"
The bird scratched its enormous cone-shaped growth.
"Is based in exotic planes of reality, incorporating limited research from Experiment 610." Jumba described the integration of magic into his work in the same way most people described a new type of screw. "Imagine the chaos he will be capable of! 103-E can cause politicians to commit gaffes live on campaign trail, closed captioning writers will continually get inexplicably obvious things wrong, and best of all, scientific rivals will be tricked into referring to incorrect nucleotide pairs at academic conferences! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Thunder boomed, and Jumba clucked appreciably at the Dramatic Lightning-Inator doing its vitally necessary function.
Janus nearly concealed a chuckle, remembered he was among peers, and decided to indulge himself. "Very good doctor."
"Now then" Jumba said, flipping a switch and releasing the Experiment from its confines. "TJest run?" Jumba offered.
He already walking towards the elevator.
===
"Aaaugh!" Tom jumped. "I- who are you?"
"OOh, look Winny, a demon!" Mary Sanderson said, grasping her sister's hands.
Winnifred for her part looked Tom over with a critical eye. "So it is. You there, spawn of the underworld! Whyfor do you inhabit this place?"
"Well, I don't really live here." Tom said, poking a thumb at Janna. "She kinda roped me into i-"
"She has bound him to her will!" Winnifred declared. A moment later Sarah and Mary joined in, echoing 'her will." A few times for emphasis.
"Ooh Winnie she must be strong." Sarah said, once the idea to say more than one thing entered her brain. Twirling a lock of hair, she and Mary began to look trepidatious.
"Nonsense! Observe the demon's scrawny features and poor dress."
Tom rubbed his arm awkwardly.
"She is clearly no great conjurer."
"Oh yeah?" Janna smirked, only a touch of concern wobbling at the edge of her mouth. "Forgotten who beat you last time?"
Swirling fire gathered in Feldrake's mouth, coalescing into an orb that was flung directly at Winnifred's head. She batted the projectile to the side as one might do to a fly, or perhaps a leaping squirrel.
Winnifred's tone oozed delight with each syllable. "As I recall, it was an assemblage of the greatest wizards New Amsterdam could muster, an apothecary, a man of the law, and a Child of Oberon himself." After a moment, she amended "Aiding you."
Janna grit her teeth. "I don't need any help to do this!"
A burst of colors poured out of Feldrake's mouth, twisting into scintillating patterns that wrapped rapidly around the Sandersons. Winnifred stepped back dramatically, drawing her shawl up against herself, but her sisters had more trouble.
Sarah stopped laughing and stared at the display, slack-jawed. "Pretty… colors…" Mary's face wrinkled on consternation, squinting as she struggled to raise a hand and shield her eyes. "Not now… Mr Rainbow… we're busy."
Janna grunted, arm slipping slightly as sweat beaded on her brow and coincidentally spinning Feldrake around so that he could look directly at Janna. "You ignoramus! What are you doing?!"
"Wh… winning…" Janna grunted. "This is the best spell I know."
"Oh? Then we shall be done in a trice. Come sisters!" Winnifred said, throwing her hands back and slapping both Mary and Sarah hard on the face in one grandiose movement. "Let us be about this."
The spell broke, strands of color floating to the ground before dissipating entirely.
"What were you thinking starting with a spell that strong?!" Feldrake snapped, his eyes glowing violet. "We both know there's no way you'll be able to cast that again! If you're in a duel, you start out with something like Plasma Bolt! Sure it's not as flashy, but it doesn't take as much out of you!"
Tom slowly backed up from the scene. "Janna, I really think we should be trying to-"
A malformed bolt of plasma streaked towards the Sanderson Sisters before dissipating a foot or two in front of them.
"Oh… dear." Winnifred said, eyes glinting. "Having a bit of trouble, are we?"
Janna froze, eyes roving over the room.
"What'll we do to her, Winnie?" Sarah asked excitedly.
"Yeah, what'll we do?!" Mary echoed. She sniffed. "Too old to eat."
"A dog!" Sarah declared happily.
Mary pouted. "Oh, we've done animals!"
Tom prepared to throw fire.
"Not a dog!" Sarah replied beseechingly.
"But-"
"Silence!" Winnifred snapped. "We shall not be doing a dog today, perhaps a bird-"
"I… I think a dog is a great idea!" Janna half-stuttered.
Winnifred blinked, then leaned over towards Janna, spine twisting. "A-what?"
"Uh... yeah!" Janna continued nervously. "I think Sarah's idea sounds fun."
Sarah stuck her tongue out at Mary, who balked at the sight. "Now it's two against one!"
"Simpleton!" Winnifred snapped, rounding on Sarah. "She does not get a vote in the matter! Have you lost your wits?"
"But Winnieeeee…"
For once moving in synchronicity, Tom and Janna began to slowly edge away. An inch, a foot, then two and three. Five steps out of the door they broke into a run.
"-cease this nattering this instant, or by the circles of hell we shall not transfigure for a month!"
"Noo!" Both Sarah and Mary begged, literally falling on their knees. "Oh please Winnie, please not that!"
"If I can't transfigure, how will I maintain my girlish physique?" Mary asked.
Winnifred sniffed. "Good. Then let us finish off the wretched girl who-"
Winnifred's dramatic whirl was interrupted when she discovered that the wretched girl had completely disappeared.
"Where have they gone?!" Winnifred demanded.
"Oh," Mary said, "They walked out the door a moment ago." She attempted a winning, gormless smile, one whose ultimate goal was to assure the target you were far too stupid to be blamed for whatever had just happened. "Should I have mentioned that?"
===
Danville's streets were awash in chaos. Goblins swarmed over a hastily-made barricade, swords extended as they screamed in fury at the last of the defenders. The few left behind to hold the line were quickly overwhelmed.
Phineas smiled happily as the defenders were 'slain', their slightly-awkward-yet-dramatic declarations echoing through the streets. After a few appropriate moments of playing dead, the castle guys picked themselves up and shuffled off into an alley, trying to find where the scene would continue.
"That's one more for the Transigortians!" Phineas said, happily reporting the results to a central database. "I think the dark lord might take this one, Ferb!"
Setting up a massive FCLORP across the city had to be one of their best ideas ever! The turnout to this thing was massive, Phineas had expected maybe ten or twelve nerds other than his friends to show up, but they were numbering in the hundreds! Luckily the flash-fabricated safety swords and shields made sure everyone could fill a role, and some flashy lights and special effects filled in for the magic.
Seven wood elves riding on a giant mechanical treant stomped by, prepared to avenge their fallen allies amongst the sky dwarves. Two very committed Dr. Zone fans were playing out some sort of 'dimensional resonance' episode with a collection of very confused orc barbarians, and someone had finally found the giant dragon suit.
The majority of Danville that wasn't participating still found themselves enjoying the fun. The city's annual sci-fi/fantasy convention wasn't for another month, but businesses and public servants all over enjoyed the chance to welcome some absurdity into their lives and play along with the nerds for a while. For a time, nobody in the city thought it strange for someone to shout about witches or elves, and they could all appreciate the practical effects of casting magic.
===
The DEI Accounting Department was one of the few parts of the company that did not hold to its unconventional work structure. While it would be inaccurate to call them thankless- their pay and vacation days compensated rather well- these were the people who worked to ensure DEI's continued expense structure and investment strategies kept the company turning a profit. Needless to say, they were extremely hard at work.
Multiple heads rose from multiple cubicles when the doors to the department burst open, three witches sauntering in with a dramatic declaration. "Peons! I require assistance!"
This was far from the first time shenanigans had spilled over, or even their first time at being called 'peons'. Doofenshmirtz got creative with their job descriptions sometimes. The secretary looked up, cut off before he could even begin to speak.
"We are hunting a witchling! Dark hair, wielding a horned goose staff. It is possible she has bound a demon!"
"Oh. The, uhhh…. FCLORP stuff, right." he muttered, clearing his throat. "All the witches are, uh, taking to the city streets? There's… everyone's downstairs and outside."
"Wonderful! Then we shall take our leave. To the portal!"
Winnifred spun around and strutted out the door again. The few employees who hadn't already looked away turned back to what they were doing. Another day, another screamer.
Frankly, having the new occult department next door had barely moved the needle.
Winnifred strolled back into the hallway and frowned at her two sisters, worrying over the exit.
"The door won't open Winnie!" Sarah moaned. "It is stuck fast!"
Winnifred gazed imperiously over the metallic panels- clearly a portal, but with no true means of egress. Winnifred knelt down in front of a mysterious plaque embedded in the wall.
"Come here sisters. What dost thou make of this?"
Sarah looked hard, examining the shiny, depressed circles emplaced into the wall, one of which was lit from within. "I think, those… are numbers, Winnie."
"I know they are numbers, fool!" Winnifred snapped, causing her sisters to lurch away for a moment. "What dost thou make of it?!"
"Well you can make bigger numbers." Mary suggested.
Winnifred sneered. "And what of these?"
Mary examined the runes. "Why, that is the symbol for fire… and that for water sister."
"A riddle!" Winnifred declared. "Of course an apothecary would surround himself with symbols of his trade."
"Ohh games! Games games games!" Sarah clapped her hands gleefully. "Ah… what's the game?"
"Perhaps… we should… touch one." Mary suggested.
"The lit one?" Sarah suggested.
"No!" Winifred declared. "It may be a trap." She pondered for a moment. "I have it! Fire rises to the sky, and water falls. To descend, we must touch the water rune!"
The metal doors rumbled and parted, revealing a small, well-lit empty room.
The three witches stared back for a time, until the doors started to slide closed. "Nay!" all three shrieked at once, Sarah moving forward faster than her sisters. As she stepped inside, the metal doors froze and jerked open once again, prompting the other two witches to jump back and Sarah to nearly lose her balance.
Winnifred smiled. "Aha! This enchanted device knows how to obey a powerful witch! Good! Now, downwards carriage!"
There was a brief pause.
"Downwards!" Mary tried.
Suddenly, the elevator shuddered into life, dropping downwards in a smooth motion.
"You just have to know how to talk to these things." Mary said to no one in particular. The elevator continued for a few moments, ticking down from 28 to 27.
A few floors further down, the elevator came to a stop. The doors opened and two odd men stepped inside, a blond with heterochromia and a four-eyed monstrosity in a white coat. Some sort of odd bird was perched on his shoulder.
All six inhabitants stared at each other.
A few moments passed as the elevator resumed its slow descent. As the sign turned to single digits, Sarah opened her mouth to say something, only to be met with a quick slap from Winnifred. The blond man opened his mouth, only for the monstrosity to nudge him in the ribs in turn.
===
Janna skidded into the lobby after leaping off the stairwell, leaving a long thin mark that would drive Mr. Moseby insane later that day. With a running vault she flipped over the concierge desk, landing next to Max who didn't even look up from his paper.
"Hi Janna."
"Hey Max."
Max blinked. "Wait, you didn't try to tease me at all." He folded a copy of X-Treme Sports (the magazine the 2000s forgot) and looked down. "Who's trying to kill you?"
"Sandersons." Janna replied tersely even as Tom popped out of the stairwell as well.
Max thought for a moment.
"...nope!" He said, pulling his newspaper back up.
"I just need somewhere to-"
"Neeope!" Max said more forcefully, putting up a 'be back soon' sign despite not actually moving. "Company mandated lunch break."
"Max!" Janna grit her teeth. "Please."
"...sigh. You've got two minutes."
Janna immediately flipped open her phone. "Thank you cool whatever oh heeeeeey Marco! How you doing?"
"Janna, I can't talk right now." Marco's voice rose out of the high-end Doofphone.
"Liiiisten." Janna replied as Tom joined her crouching under the desk. "It's kinda important…"
"I think I've found someone who saw Star."
Janna grimaced. "Look that's really cool but-"
"Yesterday." Marco hissed.
Janna pulled up short, dumbfounded. "I-"
"I have to go." Marco said firmly. "You have a whole building full of weirdos. Whatever it is, make use of them."
Marco hung up.
"Did Marco just hang up on you?" Tom asked, astonished. "He never hangs up on you."
"Uuughhnn!" Janna groaned. "Okay fine, fine. We can talk to the occult department." She flipped her phone open and dialed again. "We'll just get some more firepower, and…"
===
"So today, servants, I am going to be teaching you a spell near and dear to my heart. A spell capable of shutting up even the most annoying peasant screams. Behold!"
With a burst of not-sound, every noise in the room was replaced with a gentle buzzing. "Ahhhh, Silence. Is there a better spell for dealing with peons?" Malf asked, strolling leisurely across the room. "Except Doom Finger I mean, but for some reason that's not allowed nowadays. Because of these things called labor laws. And federal laws. And morality. Morality! Can you believe it? Back in my day we had immorality, and we liked it. They say if I do anything I'll get the Feds on us. I don't know what a feds is but I don't want one on me, it sounds like a rash, so I'll just hit them with the non-lethal spells for now. Hmm. Turning them into cows isn't lethal, maybe I could get away with that!" Malf rambled to himself as he hovered between the thankless, silenced interns. Looking past them he saw the infuriating noise device on his desk silently blinking a bright red light at him. "Wait, what, is that thing blinking at me again? Stupid thing, stop blinking!" Malf snapped, picking up the silently ringing phone and staring back at it. "Stop that! I can blink too, you're not special!"
He blinked each eye, one at a time, at the phone for a few seconds. The phone continued blinking back. "Oh yeah?! W-well you know what else I can do?"
The window shattered silently as the phone plunged thirty stories to its demise in the parking lot below. "Whaddya think of that, huh?"
The phone notably did not say anything.
"Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Silence! Pretty neat, huh?" Malf asked expectantly.
"..."
Malf frowned. "Well? Come on! Don't just sit there silently moving your mouths, answer me!"
===
"Seriously?! Not even 'leave a message?!'" Janna threw her phone in frustration, letting it clatter to the ground. "Kitsune and Russ are over in Boston or something, and I don't know where the hell Tobe is… which means it comes down to me." Janna's tone was halfway between annoyed and self-assured.
Tom frowned and raised a hand, putting it on Janna's shoulder. "Janna, were they telling the truth about last time?"
"What do you mean?" Janna asked guardedly.
"About the stuff that happened in New… Wherever. When you told me about this, you said you blew them all up with Feldrake yourself. You barely even mentioned anyone aside from that hockey guy."
"Hockey gu… Puck?!"
"Yeah, him."
"That, I-" Janna sighed. "Look, Tom, yes, I had a little help."
"A little? The only reason you didn't kill yourself from overcasting is because he was topping you off every other spell!" Feldrake snapped.
"But that doesn't matter!" Janna replied forcefully. "I'm the only one here, and I'm stronger than I was before anyway, so I'll handle this."
"How?!" Tom replied.
"I'll think of something." Janna said firmly.
Tom pursed his lips. "Okay, how about you think of this: We were about to have someone else here. The ritual circle for Celena is still set up! Let's just sneak back up there, call her out, and we can get her to solve this."
"No, there's no time." Janna replied. "The Sandersons always try to eat babies or whatever."
"I'm not hearing a better idea." Tom said. "Celena is definitely stronger than us."
"We can't have her first day be crisis mode!" Janna hissed. "Especially when It's my fault. I'm not going to get chewed out for this mess. I'm here, I caused it, I'll fix it."
"Fix it like this." Tom insisted.
"Tom's got a point." Max noted, flipping a page.
"Just- get down!" Janna yelled suddenly as the elevator doors dinged.
===
The elevator opened as it reached the ground floor, and all six of its inhabitants moved their separate ways without a word. The Sandersons collected themselves and looked out at a garish room made of purple metal and marble, a gigantic fountain standing in front of the glass windows leading outside. The statue atop the fountain was covered in a shroud.
"Well this is… homely." Winnifred said, curling her fingers in mild distaste.
"It grlows on you." Janus said.
103-E blinked. Sarah squinted in confusion, and Mary cleaned out her ear, revealing an enormous gob of earwax which she casually rubbed on a nearby futon.
"At least they are fixing statute. It was hideous, even bossman agreed." the monstrosity commented.
Winnifred paid it no mind, striding forward. Janus and Jumba walked past and out the door, the giant man and his strange creations at this point almost passe. Not a single person even commented on the man on his way out at this point, apart from an occasional 'Hello!" That inevitably raised eyebrows.
Winnifred stepped up to the concierge desk and glared at Max Goof even as Janus and Jumba joined the nerdy throng outside. Below the desk, Janna and Tom held completely still.
"Footman! I demand to know where your witches are." Winnifred growled.
"Y-you mean… aside from you three?" Max asked carefully.
"Hrmm, Winnie." Mary said thoughtfully. "Doesn't he look sort of… familiar?"
"U-u-uh, most of the witches are at the FCLORP. Right outside."
"What?" Winnifred asked.
"Something about his… doglike face."
"Perhaps we made him that way." Sarah suggested dreamily.
"Mayhaps." Winnifred looked at Max closely, peering deeply into his personal space and scrutinizing his every inch. Max's smile became very fixed. A bead of sweat rolled down his neck.
Don't move don't move just do not move
"No matter!" Winnifred declared, turning dramatically. "We have what we need. Come, sisters! This… Evklorp awaits!"
Don't sigh. Don't sigh or you're dead.
Even the tiniest implication that the trouble was over would immediately bring it back. Max bundled up every ounce of relief he felt and shoved it away as if he'd never been worried at all. Unhealthy in the long term, but shockingly healthy in the moment.
"You ladies have a good da- wait no don't touch the brochures!"
But it was too late. Sarah had already leaned down and picked up a three-fold spread advertising Lard World from the wooden shelf. A moment later the floor gently unfolded beneath them, dropping the three witches with a shriek into…
"This is much worse than the brochure!" Sarah wailed as she fell into two feet of lard.
"Of all the intractable- Nnngh!" Winnifred snarled, flames bursting into being and physically burning the fat away. Snarling and slightly matted, the three witches crawled in a most undignified manner out of the pit.
Without even saying a word, Winnifred stalked out of the lobby, leaving a growing trail of fire behind her.
Max looked at the fire and decided the safest thing to do would be to continue reading.
Mr Moesby ran into the lobby as quickly as possible. "I heard the Lardinator go off- did we get them at las…!"
Moesby's excitement trailed off as he saw the three women walking away. "Who are they?"
"They're here for the FCLORP." Max deadpanned. "No ninjas today. Sorry boss."
"Drat." Moesby replied. "We'll get those hooligans yet Max. There will be no more fires in my lobby."
Moesby looked over said lobby for the first time.
"THERE'S FIRE IN MY LOBBY!!!" He screamed.
Max pushed the sprinkler button, and flame retardant foam quickly covered the center of the room.
"Oh, today is off to a wonderful start, isn't it?" Moesby bemoaned, sitting down on a futon. There was an unpleasant squish as something that may or may not have been placed there by a witch horribly stained his trousers. He groaned.
As soon as the coast was clear, Janna and Tom popped up from underneath Max.
"...do I want to know why you were under there?" Moesby asked.
"We're teenagers, so no." Max said without hesitation.
"Ahn." Moesby murmured, turning his head in an expression of abject misery.
Janna, who normally would have responded to the avenue, instead took off in a mad dash after the Sandersons. Tom watched her go with a look of concern on his face. He took half a step, as if to follow, but then steeled himself.
"Sorry Janna." He grimaced. "But we need some backup."
==
High up in the towers of DEI, a dam cracked. It was not a physical dam, but a metaphysical one. For hours, arcane energy drawn from the heart of the Earth itself had gathered, filling and stagnating in the bend that Malifishmertz had so carelessly created. Now it was swollen, glutted with undirected magic. And in mere seconds… it broke loose. An invisible flood poured forth, crashing through DEI and destroying the magical equivalent of the coven intern's desk toys with mystic power that went completely unremarked by almost everyone in the building. The exception was Malf, who was interrupted thirty minutes into his silent lecture when a tidal wave his students couldn't see swept him out of the building.
Magic poured down DEI like wet treacle, strands of magic oozing downwards as they sought a power sink, a leyline, anything strong enough to contain the wayward power.
It fsound one.
==
The Sandersons looked on the chaos-filled streets with something resembling approval, along with a bit of confusion. Knights were attacking one another, swords and shields clashing, a group of serfs were loading a trebuchet, and spells were being cast in the open!
"Winnie, what was that one?" Sarah asked as a red orb zipped from a wizard's wand and splashed against an oncoming shield. "And are they using wands?"
"It seems as though the witches of this place are a fair bit bolder than those of New Amsterdam. Let us see if they are wiser as well."
Winnifred rolled up her sleeves. "Eye of newt and silver targe, show these knaves who is in charge!"
A wave of greenish energy blasted out from the witch, physically knocking over all but the sturdiest of nerds and forcing everyone present to look to her.
"Practitioners of the darkest arts! I know not what your petty squabbles may be, but rejoice! For I, servant of the Dark One himself, have returned to lead us!"
"We're here too!" Sarah added. Winnifred bonked her on the head with the flat of her hand, leading to a murmured 'owch'.
"Together we shall take revenge upon mine enemies, and unlock the very secrets of immortality itself!"
"What proof have you of your claim?" a young witch asked, after a moment's pause. "That blast was mighty indeed, but claiming to know the Dark One?" A few witches around her looked confused for a time, until they too nodded, turning to the Sandersons expectantly.
"Behold!" Winnifred roared, raising The Book aloft. "The Manual of Witchcraft and Alchemy! Bound in human skin, penned in blood better left unnamed, signed by His very hand! The darkest spells in all the land are mine to control!"
"Yeah, like what?" One kid not particularly into the vibe asked.
Winnifred smiled, flipping through the book. "From blackened spires of deadened sites, from demons cruel in darkened rites, master of killers, thieves and liars, summon forth your black hellfirfe!"
A little bird tweeted.
Jumba, who had up to now been working his way through the throng of geekery with the slow determination of the five foot wide man, turned and gaped as multicolored lights swirled in the eyes of his creation.
Winnifred's face screwed up in confusion as a swirling black portal edged with flame came into being. All the powers of hell conferred to deposit in her outstretched hand a pitch black… woodwind instrument.
The fife was dark as night, etched with skulls and seeming to absorb the light around it.
It was also a fife.
"It's a little weird, but I can dig it." the kid admitted. The rest of the crowd started to applaud enthusiastically.
"But it didn't rhyme!" One man complained, but he was ignored.
"You have demonstrated your power and wisdom!" Several of the players declared.
"And your inclusivity to bards!" one noted.
Approximately half the crowd swore loyalty to the witches.
"That's better than we usually do." Mary muttered, sidling up to Winnifred.
"A fair point." Winiffred admitted. "But I am more fascinated by what hath disrupted my-"
"Astonishing!" a voice roared out. "Experiment 103-E is even capable of altering metaphysic idea space on fly while disrupting invocations! What an unexpected success!"
"A way to influence magic…" the blond man intoned, delighted.
In the distance, Janna popped out of DEI and took in the scene, getting lost in the crowd. She grimaced when she saw Jumba and Janus, major DEI figures, already interacting with the Sandersons. Nooo. Oh, the big wigs were never going to take her seriously if they had to clean this up for her.
Why did that suddenly matter?
Janna started to edge towards the fight.
===
Tom lit a set of blood red candles.
"There." He said, blinking in the gentle light. "Finally, couldn't see a thing. Now then!"
He cracked open his collected sheaf of transcribed Celena recipes.
Unscrewing the lid of a simple mason jar, Tom sprinkled a few dried, aromatic flower petals into the container. A moment later he gently zested a lemon, letting the result slip down into the jar as well.
"Man." Tom muttered to himself. "Is this really it? I didn't think Mewni magic could be economical. What kind of queen has unlimited god magic at her fingertips and designs her rituals to only need 50cc of mouse blood?"
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, top poured the required almond oil into the half-full jar, stirring gently to work out the remaining bubbles.
The sound of something whistling flew by the window, inciting Tom to work faster. It was in fact an answering machine, but what you don't know can terrify you. Screwing on the lid, Tom placed the jar on the sunny windowsill.
Then he checked the recipe again.
"Let sit for… 2-3 weeks?!" Tom blanched.
"Uhhh…" Tom glanced around the room, hitting upon a stupid idea. Opening up his mirror phone, he manually changed the date to June 17th. Shaking the jar and then popping it open, he strained out the oil and then separated the remaining muck into a separate bottle.
Tom scrambled to place the potion in the center of the room. "There ok please work I call upon uh… Ghostus Mostus Celena!"
A small, weak haze rose up from the petals. At first Tom was worried nothing was going to happen, but then a thin, hazy form slowly stabilized.
"...did you… um… by any chance skimp out on the three weeks?" Celena said, voice sounding even smaller and further away than usual, like one good embarrassment would completely discorporate her.
"Um… maybe." Tom replied evasively. "But listen, we really need your help right now. I don't know where half our occult department is-
===
Tobe and his Vagabond Ninja watched carefully as Hernae slowly lowered a single slice of pineapple down onto a sweet-potato upside-down potion.
"Oooh."
"Aaah."
===
"-and Janna's in really big trouble."
Despite barely looking humanoid, Celena's ghostly form still managed to cringe despite the low-rent haunting she'd been summoned through. "Well, this shouldn't get in the way of binding me, but… I'm not sure if there's that much I can do. Binding me to the building like we planned will keep me from going anywhere else, and even then, ghosts are usually a bit… out of it when they first etherealize."
"There's gotta be something." Tom insisted.
The ghostly smudge put her hands together. "Well, I, um. I suppose it's also possible to bind a ghost to a specific object instead. But, that would require far more energy than we've set aside. The sort that would take an entire leyline hours to build up. I'm… afraid that kind of power doesn't just fall out of the sky."
In the mundane world, the door creaked slightly.
On the astral plane, it slammed open as a tidal wave of raw magic coursed over the room. Celena put her hands up, controlling the flow almost instinctively by funneling it, twisting it, channeling it down-
Tom gazed in shock at the now crystal clear image of Celena the Shy, something-th Queen of Mewni, and the visibly glowing orb of magic power floating in her hand.
"Does… this sort of thing happen often?" She asked weakly.
"It's Danville." Tom replied.
